Welcome to The Forum Lexicon!

The purpose of this thread is to serve as:

- A compilation of forum lingo definitions.

- An overview of forum members.

- A summary of events in the life of the forum.

Rules of the Lexicon:

*Everyone is welcome to take part in the collective writing of our shared history, but be advised that comments and questions will be swiftly deleted. If you're bent on babbling aimlessly, perhaps the Common Room will be more to your liking. You have been warned.

*Unsorted members are not allowed to post here.

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As of June 22, 2011, the official Keepers of the Forum Lexicon:

Haz (Ha'niqua) and Jessica (Idreamofdraco).

The DG Forum

The infamous DG Forum was founded in the hopes of becoming a place where D/G writers could gather to share in their love of Harry Potter and the pairing of Draco/Ginny. It is primarily a writing-based forum, with the main goal of preserving and perfecting the craft of D/G fanfiction writing.

Since the Forum's inception, many members have passed through our infamous halls to join The Society, though some have been unable to endure the onslaught of the flood and have since become lost in The Graveyard.

The Society

Deep within the confines of the Ministry of Magic, a secret operation is constantly in action. If you pay enough attention, a brave group of individuals can be seen periodically infiltrating an underground base. The members of this society come in many different forms and disguises, but they all have something in common: their dedication to creativity and their stubborn devotion to the One True Pairing.

Heads of House:

-rowan-greenleaf (Rowan): Forum Founder, Head of Gryffindor and resident Demi-Goddess. Be advised that though generally easy going and charming, Rowan claims full ownership of one Lucius Malfoy and will not take kindly to transgressions – in other words, mess with Lucius and she'll rip your head off.

-scubarang (scuba): Head of Slytherin. No need for further introduction – her words are enough. *lowers voice ominously* You'll see. It is true that rowan-greenleaf has made various attempts on scubarang's life at some point or another. scubarang has claimed #1 as her own, so be careful around him: you can see, but you can't touch.

-Aerileigh (Leigh): Head of Ravenclaw and Sorting Queen. From within her not-so-humble abode, the Lair, Leigh takes on the task of sorting newbies into their true Houses. Leigh has claimed #2, Blaise Zabini, as her personal cabana boy; keep away.

-Boogum (Kim): The ever-talented, intelligent and witty Ravenclaw who puts everyone in awe with her natural radiance and loveliness, Kim is the Head of Hufflepuff.

Gryffindor House:

-amethyst-rose (Kira): She enjoys photography and has a love of nail polish. Adopted twin to Kyla, not to mention sisters with a number of Forum members, Kira is one of the kindest members of the forum.

-Ha'niqua (Haz): serves as one of the forum's Lexicon Prefects, a position well-suited to her due to her love of making lists and spreadsheets. When she's not on the forum or keeping her work place running (usually at the same time), she's reading paranormal-romance novels and asserting herself in every area of her life like a true Gryffindor. Haz's beauty has often been remarked upon, but she could stand to hear more about it.

-MemoriesFade (Ann): Ann, a Gryff-Raven, is our resident Queen of Tasty Treats. The only thing more impressive than her desserts is her shoe collection, the organisation of which is nothing short of legendary. Ann is most commonly found enjoying sexual innuendos in The Gutters and being fawned over by her Cabana Boy, the untouchable #62, who looks remarkably like David Beckham.

-starlit skyes (starlit): She was at the center of a shameless and now infamous incident in the ironically named room of 'Snarky and Catty HP Banter.' Finger puppets were involved...the room has never been the same.

Slytherin House:

-imadoodlenoodle (Sarah): After her initial sorting as a Raven/Slyth, Sarah bears the distinction of being re-sorted into Slytherin House, thus acquiring pureblood status. She is known for her caustic wit and impeccable delivery. Sarah once had a predilection for picking on newbies, but as Newbie Ambassador, aka Newbie Prefect, is now quick to invite aforementioned new-goers to their doom—er—to the CR, to make them feel welcome.

-TASHAx (Tash): Tasha is a rare Slyth-Gryff hybrid and our resident Zooey Deschanel look-a-like. When she's not on the forum or writing, she's working in the theater.

Ravenclaw House:

-ABitofBlack (Farrha): a budding journalist with a passion for snark, as any good Raven-Slyth should. This Whedonite has an affinity for whiskey sours and Supernatural - an affinity she shares frequently with other forum members.

-The-Darkness-Befalls (Ky, Kyla): Another maternal Ravenclaw, Kyla can claim half a dozen forum members as family. "Sudran" ("mother" in the Final Fantasy Al Bhed language) is the forum mother of her minion child Katie (Seheuh) and daughters Leigh, Farrha, KimKat (whom she calls Dagger). She's twins with Twinly Kira, Jess, and Hannah, and 'Mother of the Forum' Lia is her mum. Kyla has a mild predilection for violence, and may or may not have murdered a CB with help from her children, but is normally sweet and motherly toward the forum -- even protectively so. She also serves as Leigh's Sorting Minion despite her love for cats.

-hannah askance (Hannah): Hannah is a Raven-Puffle hybrid whose love of Anastasia and Mulan are so great, she knows every word to every song and has been known to have a relevant quote from either movie for any situation. She is wise beyond her years and often mistaken for an adult, despite all evidence to the contrary.

-lncognito (Lia): Sometimes named the 'Mother of the Forum', Lia is one of our more maternal Ravenclaws, with a strong wit and a healthy sense of the ridiculous. She is fond of applies and is renowned for having incredibly detailed author notes in her stories.

-TuesdayNovember (Lizz): a Raven-Gryff hybrid who lives in a constant state of dramatic exaggeration. She vies for the attention of our dear Slytherin HoH, scuba, but always fails, to her chagrin. Her determination to make everyone love her is to be admired or pitied, at your discretion.

Hufflepuff House:

-idreamofdraco (Jessica, Jess): One of Kyla's twins as well as one of the forum insomniacs, Jessica is currently acting as both our FIA Liaison Officer and Lexicon Prefect. As a Puffle-Gryff, she's particularly cuddly, and in her spare time, Jess can be found cruising around in her aptly named Puffmobile or sleeping. If asked, she will brag about visiting Harry Potter Land.

-Hybrid-Kothari (Gin): -Hybrid-Kothari (Gin): She is a Hufflepuff through and through with a healthy appreciation for beer and cuatro leches. She is a romantic novel junkie who enjoys traveling and tapas, and she can be recognized by her panda avatars (and hugs).

The Graveyard

Order of Merlin, First Class and High Honours are given to the noble witches and wizards who gave their lives in the fight against the oppression of imagination and the horror that is The Epilogue of Doom. These magnificent warriors fought valiantly against the demands of reality and the pressures of everyday life, but perished before their time and will always be remembered fondly.

Gryffindor House:

-MaddieClaire (Maddie): Best known for lurking and dropping by in swift, fell swoops, only to disappear seconds later so that you're left wondering if she was ever here at all, this elusive Gryffindor is decidedly irreverent and adverse to reviewing.

-Lovers.Love.Liars.Lie (Porsha): Porsha, a Gryff-Raven hybrid, is the forum's resident Whorecrux. She isn't the best at prioritising (constantly putting RL matters before those of the forum), but she is a good old-fashioned party girl at heart, best known for her drunken escapades in the Common Room. Remember to be wary should you ever cross her path lest she entice you with her all-round tom foolery.

-AlexisJayde (Jayde): Jayde is a Gryff-Raven hybrid and a proud nerdfighter. Her love of YouTube vloggers is only rivaled by her love of tattoos/piercings and gingers. She is not afraid to flaunt her love in the CR (as she has done with Sid in the days of yore) but only if you are worthy of her affection. As a Canadian, her standard mode of transportation is polar bear.

-crazycally (Cally): Our Head Bartender, Cally doesn't actually serve drinks, but she keeps the boys in check. She is always up for a good time, especially if it involves Woo Woos (see below), and is known for making the cabana boys dance "You Can Leave Your Hat On" by Joe Cocker when she's feeling lively. #11 belongs to her.

-SquirrelGal (SG): One of the fun ones, SG is always raising hell here and there, usually accompanied by The Hypocritical Monkey, a slap-happy ape who is best known for stalking writers who don't update fast enough.

-PrincessDoubleT (T): Our first--and ONLY *crosses fingers*-- unrepentant Dramione lover, T wandered into our D/G sanctuary on the gall and courage that only Gryffindor can fuel. She is famously laid-back and unflappable, despite our best efforts.

Slytherin House:

-Dominatrice (Emma): Our resident Domina and scary person, as per Leigh; see common room III. Emma is the Mistress of The Rack. She staked her claim on Theodore Nott; proceed with caution.

-katmillia (Katy): A Slyth/Gryff hybrid, Katy is in reality a published author. She is also the only person here that scubarang can actually stand. *gasp*

-Nacilme (Nac): A Slyth/Gryff hybrid, Nacilme's sorting has come into question several times; she's a hardcore rocker (frontman – woman? – of a goth band in RL) with an irreverent side, but she's prone to emotional Ron-like explosions. She is also responsible for introducing this essential smiley into the forum: u_u

Ravenclaw House:

-LunarFire (Lunar, Bree): Our resident techie, Lunar is a Raven/Slyth with an unhealthy love for robots and a healthy love for sarcasm. Formerly Prefect of the newbie thread, Lunar is rarely seen these days as she is busy with her RL educational pursuits. Lunar has an evil knack for baiting the HoHs against each other for her own entertainment.

-Mila-kun (Mila): A Raven-Puffle, Mila helped spearhead the efforts at the New and Shiny Forum. Mila was the person who came up with the idea of a "real" forum, just because she "couldn't be without a QUOTE BUTTON."

-Anna Scathach (Anna): Anna is an analytical, reserved Ravenclaw famous for her love of French things, which she embeds into her writing.

-VickyVicarious (Vicky): A Claw/Gryff hybrid, Vicky is laid-back and friendly, yet still carries that reserved, witty streak so adored by Claws. She is our resident cannibal queen, and is often seen sitting on her throne made of bones. She astonished many with the disclosure of her real age.

-Cadaverous Apples (Roma): Snarky and friendly, witty and bold, Roma is a Claw/Gryff hybrid, and claims the distinction of being one of the most difficult people our fair Sorting Queen has had to sort. Reviewers with pitchforks are often seen to be following her trail, and she has also been honoured with the title of being the Senator of the Gutters for the EL.

-Nimph (Nimph): Nimph is a Ravenclaw; she was also the most tolerant person in our midst; needless to say she was immediately typecast as 'token Hufflepuff'. For some time she was Head of Hufflepuff by default, until Kim of Ravenclaw relieved her. Nimph is currently missing in action.

-Miss Lotte (Lotte): A ballerina, Lotte is Ella's partner in crime and was originally thought to be her alter ego. She is, however, not Ella, and is also distinctly 100% Ravenclaw.

-Kinboshi Hiko (Kinboshi): She had the gall to come here and form the Plot Bunny Forum and then disappear, never to be seen or heard from again; hunting parties have already set out. Kinboshi is a possible Wall of Shame honoree, unless someone does something despicable soon.

-Ella-Not-Lotte (Ella): Ella is a ballerina and as her name clearly states, she's not to be confused with Miss Lotte, who is an entirely different person. She was expelled from Gryffindor and was resorted into Ravenclaw after admitting that part of her soul dies every time she sees a grammatical error.

-amazing-pages (Amanda, Amy): A lover of dictionaries, soccer and corny jokes, Amy also boasts to being one of our few 100% Claws. Her sanity has been questioned several times, particularly in regards to her workload. She is renowned for automatically correcting every SpaG mistake that comes her way.

Hufflepuff House:

-DoubleCaramel (Karla): Karla of Hufflepuff is admired by all for her decidedly cute disposition, as manifested in her signature avatars featuring an adorable cartoon character named Mafalda. She has been known to show a bit of a wild streak, as demonstrated by'The Burning of the Bras' on Draco's birthday in 2010 and subsequent events. It's not quite a bonfire without her adorably Puffle presence.

-MidnightxRed (Red): A Puffle-Raven hybrid, Red is intelligent and hardworking, but has a strong compassionate side. She hails from the lands of Scotland and is not to be confused with her twin, Ewa.

-blurry-blurb (Niki, Nik): a Puffle/Raven hybrid, Niki is friendly and intellectual. She has an unhealthy infatuation with Tom Riddle, #15, whom she has claimed as her own. Beware.

-Mrs. EACullen (Liz, Cullen): Cullen, also known as Liz, is famous for her spastic tendencies and unpredictability. She holds the distinction of being the first member to convert her significant other to the wonders of D/G fanfiction and the Dull (i.e., brainwashing her boyfriend Matt into joining our forum).

-sanctuary-in-dreams (Sid): A Puffle-Gryff and former Lexicon Prefect, Sid is most known for her shameless flirting with various forum members. She has a love of theatre, and also has a habit of throwing tantrums which she insists are 'endearing'.

DEFINITIONS:

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Cabana boy (CB): a member of the army of sinfully gorgeous, half clothed Slyth boys, eager to serve and please all forum members to the extent of their considerable powers. They are conveniently numbered and labeled with ID bracelets (see Apple Juice Incident).

Forum members are allowed to call on whatever CB they wish to meet their every desire, but some of us are a bit protective/possessive by turns, and have subsequently "claimed" specific boys for our own special designs. To view the claims or to make a claim of your own, visit the Cabana Boy Claim and post accordingly.

For your convenience, the "claimed" CBs include:

#Pi, #00, #007, #1, #2, #5, #9,#11, #12, #15, #17, #18, #19, #21, #23, #24, #25, #32, #33, #34, #42, #43, #47, #54, #56, #59, #68, #72, #80, #86, #87, #88, #89, #94, #95, #99

"Dull" and "Shiny":

"The Dull" is the alternate name for this forum; "The Shiny" is the name of the "bigger and better, new and shiny forum" Leigh and Mila constructed for our massive group exodus. Unfortunately, the Shiny proved adverse to scubarang and Rowan (wise place, that one), and we chose to reopen this place. *gestures grandly*

*snorts*

HoH:

The term HoH is used loosely around the forum, and means Head of House; and ONLY Head of House.

*snickers quietly*

The Forum HoHs: Kim, Leigh, and scubarang.

u_u

And, uh, Rowan.

Hunting Parties:

Forum desertion is a crime punishable by DEATH (you can check out any time you like, but you can neverleave...). Anyone on the MIA List in the Sorting Lair is being hotly pursued as we speak. u_u

Our hunting parties take care of our "problem members":

-The Ninjas: an elite squad of cabana boys, led by the finest of specimens: #1. *drools* Their training sessions are held in the RoR on Thursday nights, supervised by the Demi-Goddess. u_u

-The Pirates

-The Hitmen

- The Bloodhounds: on loan from the Malfoy estate.

Owls and Floos:

In forum slang, the terms "owl" or "floo" usually refer to PMs or emails. The two are generally used interchangably, though the former is the more common word.

A derivative, "owlery," can refer to the email/PM inbox, but this is rare.

Puffle:

scubarang's derisive pet name for members of the House of Hufflepuff. 'Puffle' applies to anyone who's overly sensitive, and is not to be confused with "Hufflepuffer"-- that's something else ENTIRELY.

Woo Woo:

A cocktail introduced by our resident Head Bartender, Cally, this intoxicating (in more ways than one) drink is composed of: peach schnapps, vodka, and cranberry juice, and has become a favorite in the common room. Yum. :D

Posted by Aerileigh in the original Forum Lexicon

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The Great Apple Juice Debacle

Once upon a time, Ella-not-Lotte happened into the first Common Room thread.

She was a firstie, barely sorted. She had introduced herself in the Who's Who I forum, and we'd invited her to join us in the common room.

Unfortunately, everyone went to work or bed, and Ella waltzed into the Common Room on her own. Well, sort of on her own; you see, the cabana boys were ready and waiting and perhaps a little bored, for when Ella asked for apple juice, that is not what they gave her. She then visited the S&C, but the puppets had already done their due diligence there and destroyed it. (see posts 48-58)

She spent the next few hours wreaking havoc, cavorting with a cabana boy imposter named Alec in a cat suit, and corrupting #76, a 12-year-old cabana boy.

As a result, Rowan pulled a Brando and Ella made two trips to St. Mungo's and still sees a therapist twice a week. We Heads of House have realized our mistake and as a result have the cabana boys under the strictest of instructions to never give leave a firstie alone in the more NC-17 areas of the common room.

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Posted by Rowan in the original Forum Lexicon

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The impostor, 'Alec', was never found, and the entire incident prompted the introduction of a new set of rules:

New Rules For "Merry Making"

-All "juices" MUST be sampled by one of the Heads of House before they are served to underage forum members. And yes, I am aware of just how bad that sounds.

-Forum members that appear to be "under the influence" will immediately be bound and gagged and removed from the common room --and the general vicinity of the wet bar.

-Cabana boys must wear ID bracelets clearly displaying their NUMBER-- remember, cabana boys do NOT have names.

-Anyone in violation of the above mentioned rules will be forced to serve detention in the so called room of "Snarky and Catty HP Banter". *shudders*

Posted by Leigh in the original Forum Lexicon

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Today there was another "Apple Juice" incident, this time featuring Nik of Puffle-Raven fame. She stayed up FAR too late and twirled madly through the forum, playing terrible pop music at loud volumes and defaming our hallowed halls with posters of these so-called artists.

She gave up not after Emma's knives, Rowan's threats, or Leigh's manipulative goading, but shockingly, Mila's sarcasm.

The Common Room is constantly changing, but a few features are standard:

- Cabana Boys. (need I say more?)

- Hot Tubs. (need I say more?)

- Wet Bar: an enviable selection of international wines, beers and liquor. Our cabana boys are all expert bar tenders and dish out the finest cocktails; we also have soda for the little tykes. (See "juice" law).

- RoR: Room of Requirement. Some CRs have multiple RoRs. (need some privacy? This is the place to go).

- Lewis Carrol portrait: it conceals the Hufflepuffer's Room. The password is not given freely, as you require clearance to enter that room. *raises eyebrows*

- Chains, whips and other accessories.

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Common (but not necessarily standard) features:

- The Rack

- The Ella Cave

- The Cannibal Throne

- The Chaise of No Cheer

- The Ottoman of Ovarian Distress

Behold!

Rowan's One and Only Prissy Ravenclaw Post:

Today I sauntered into the common room, as is usual, and was met by a very disturbing sight.

Now, I'm no Ravenclaw, but that doesn't mean that the blatant and repetitive breaching of the basic rules grammar and spelling doesn't stir my sense of wrongness.

In the last couple of days there has been an increasing disregard of forum protocol (see Manifesto!):

-Keep your grammar and spelling in check.

-No netspeak, with the exceptions of LOL, LMAO, and the occasional TTYL.

This loosening of our standards has resulted in posts that are not only an eyesore, but are also tremendously difficult to comprehend.

I fear our Ravenclaws, particularly Miss Lotte, Moira and Aerileigh, as well as our closet grammar freaks, i.e. scubarang, will run away screaming when they encounter some of the things I've seen happen in the common room lately.

In light of that, I must exhort everyone, particularly our new members, to take some time to revise your posts. I'm sure most of these errors are born of carelessness and simply typing too quickly.

Before posting make sure that:

-what you've written is intelligible

-your post contains the necessary comas, periods, and proper capitalization (NO EXCEPTIONS).

In this forum we communicate through our writing, and we are -most of us- writers, so our posts reveal a lot about ourselves.

Please keep that in mind!

That will be all. u_u

The One Sentence Story Thread

The OSS was born from the dilemna we forum addicts face when our writing time has been compromised by overflowing inboxes of post notifications. This is a venue to let your muse eek out in very small doses. The prompt is three random words, provided in the previous post. The next poster then creates a one-sentence fan fiction story, and then providing another prompt of their own.

There are two things you should note when participating in this thread:

If there is a tie and two posters accidently use the same prompt, the next person gets to write two.

There is to be no linguistic morphology with the prompted words.

The Famous "Ten Nations" Rowan Is Always Referring To

This forum is very international, and it turns out there really ARE more than ten nations involved. I present you with:

The Official List of Nations

1-Canada

2-U.S.A

3-Puerto Rico*

4-Brazil*

5-Uruguay*

6-The Mystery Nation

7-Spain*

8-England

9-Scotland*

10-Germany*

11-France*

12-India

13-China*

14-Malaysia*

15-Ecuador

16-New Zealand

17-Australia

18-Russia*

19-Sweden*

20-Estonia*

21-Portugal*

22-Mexico*

23-Indonesia

24-The Philippines*

25-South Africa

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And if we stretch it:

-Italy (by blood)

-Chile (by blood)

-Nigeria (by blood)

-Ireland (by blood and geographic location)

-Norway (by blood)

-Vietnam (by blood)

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That makes a total of 31 NATIONS.

u_u

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* Asterisk denotes inactive/deceased members- see 'hunting parties'.

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Rowan's country of origin is The Mystery Nation.

And it's known by six or seven people here.

*sulks*

*cough* Hem hem, also Norway by blood thank you very much. u_u

On Sortings

SORTING PROCESS:

New members must apply for sorting in the Lair of the Sorting Queen by filing out the form provided in the first post. The designated Sorting Person will revise the application and come to a decision that will be posted in the Lair and is usually followed by an announcement in the RA thread.

*Member Input: members of the forum are free to opine upon where the newbie should be sorted, but there is no guarantee that this opinion will be taken into consideration. The sorting process is entirely dependent upon the Sorting Person, who uses obscure methods to reach her final sorting.

*Time Period: time of sorting is usually inversely proportional to amount of posts; the more you post, the sooner you'll get sorted. However as stated it is entirely dependent upon the Sorting Person.

On Sorting Appellations

Sortings may go wrong for any number of reasons, including:

- False representation: a newbie may initially "pose" as something they are not in order to get into a certain House or garner acceptance by their peers.

- RL changes in personality: a forum member's persona might change inexplicably in a wide stretch of time (see the case of Ella-Not-Lotte, formerly of Gryffindor).

- Human error: the Sorting Person is not infallible, as has been evidenced in the past.

The goal of the Sorting Appeal is to have every member of the forum sorted into their true House, so anyone can file an appeal to their or someone else's sorting, provided they follow guidelines.

APPELLATION PROCESS:

1) Appeals will be presented in the Lair of the Sorting Queen, stating the reasons why the person in question should be re-sorted into another House. Evidence should be provided in order to make a stronger case.

2) The Sorting Person must revise the case, and must either accept the reasons stated as valid, or must refute each reason stated in a valid manner. The Sorting Person may provide evidence to support their original Sorting.

3) The Re-Sorting Process is entirely independent of personal influence within the forum; Heads of Houses and the so-called "triumvirate" will hold no sway in the process.

4) The Re-Sorting will be monitored by the Powers That Be; abuse of power will not be tolerated.

*An appeal cannot be filed until the person in question has been in their assigned House at least three weeks.

*The more evidence you provide, the more likely it is you will receive the result you seek. Try to be as clear and concise as possible.

*Note that filing for an appeal is not a guarantee of getting results.

CAVEAT:

Heads of Houses have the option to expel, remove, cast out, discard, kick out of their House any member whose scandalous behavior has trampled over the principles for which the House in question stands (see case of Ella-Not-Lotte, formerly of Gryffindor) without consulting the Sorting Person or the offending House member.

The Essential u_u Smiley:

The u_u smiley, introduced in our forum by Nacilme of Gryffin-Slyth, is meant to be seen as a face with downcast eyes, and for this reason is often misunderstood for shyness when in fact it is meant to convey entirely the opposite. In one word, it means ego.

Its use conveys arrogance, defiance, holier-than-thou-ness and general feelings of set-in-my-way-ness and superiority.

Use it wisely.

The DG Forum is proud to contribute to the broadening of the vocabulary of its members.

3 out of 10 newbies are unfamiliar with the word libation upon filing for sorting. See Lair of the Sorting Queen.

100% of active members are familiar with the word.

u_u

Denial

At a forum centered primarily around the most holy Draco and Ginny ship, you'll find a lot of denial abounds throughout the forum. To solve matters like these, you'll find that there are conveniently located racks filled with Cloaks of Denial, which are snuggly and quite comfortable (and flame retardant u_u).

If you need further protection, as can be the case when the Epilogue of Doom is mentioned (balding Draco!), *winces; pulls cloak tighter* you'll find that it's quite easy to visit Egypt via any of the Common Room RoRs, which as we all know, is the home of Denial (though the source is in Abyssinia, as all the Austen lovers will tell you).

Let it be noted that the powers that govern the Forum Lexicon are lazy and not given to updates.

Forum Slogans:

Submitted by two of our Ravenclaws -- Leigh and Kim, respectively -- the following phrases capture what is in essence the spirit of our forum:

The DG Forum: corrupting young people since 2008.

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SPaG Hags: Taking down one newbie at a time.

Vicky has a dog, and the dog's name is Thurber. Vicky then proceeded to mention in Roma's presence that Thurber's robot name is Thurbatron. Roma, being the gutter dweller in EL she is commented with;

Roma; Vicky, I have NO idea what this is, and when I first read it, I was like, "Huh, sounds like a vibrator name."

To which Vicky replied;

Vicky; My dog's name is Thurber. Therefore, his robot name is Thurbatron. That's all. No vibrators were involved or harmed in this thought process.

Roma then proceed to question Vicky about Thurbatron and the 'activites' Vicky partakes in with Thurbatron.

Roma; Oh, did I give you dirty thoughts about your dog? Surely that wasn't my intent! *whistles innocently*

Vicky; Only as a robot. Only as a robot. I will repeat this mantra in order to retain my sanity. And I will not call him Thurbatron for a while. For my sanity. Thanks, hon.

Other forum members got involved;

Scuba; And yes, I'm trying to immortalise Thurbatron to his throne of doggy vibrator godliness.

The basic gist is that Vicky has a dog that turns into a vibrating robot. To see the full event (something I suggest you do), please visit these moments;

http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/17091202/3/#17521537 Post #110 - #117

http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/17414727/17/ Post #806 - #906

http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/17414727/31/#17588357 Post #1548 - #1632

That was the main stuff as I can recall, obviously if there were any other 'moments' please point them out.

Vicky; *waves* Mine. My dog is the vibrator. But only when he's a robot.

Cannibalism:

Cannibalism came about due to Vicky's extreme hunger one day, and her mentioning that "...on a desert island I'd be first to go cannibal". This sparked off some interest, and soon the entire forum had relocated to a temporary desert island, where Vicky ruled over a vicious cannibal tribe that did not hesitate to eat deserters, D/H supporters, or particularly uppity people.

This whole conversation can be found in CR #IX, pages 31-35. We emerged with no real casualties, although Vicky has since taken the bloodthirsty title of the Cannibal Queen and sits on a throne of human bones in most CRs to reinforce this.

Cannibalism has remained a constant background element of the forum since, and several members have been scolded for their public enjoyment of finger filets. Vicky in particular will threaten (or be used as a threat by others) to eat rule-breaking newbies, but most regular members are immune.

Explicit Land

EL, as it is commonly abbreviated, had been a minor, if little-known, nation prior to Common Room XIV. Many forum members ventured into its dirty borders without even realizing it, unwitting visitors to a mammoth and pulsating country, full of hard and rhythmic life. It became known when it was given a name by Aerileigh on page 33, post #1639. This remark was spurred by frequent mentions of Vicky's dogs (see Lexicon post #19), Ann's culinary skills (page 32, post #1574-#1606), and various innuendos (one in specific referring to nose plugs on post #1623). EL was explored in extensive detail through post #1722.

Examples:

Roma: ...and Vicky, my, what a large Thurbatron you have. You must have to stretch to get him to fit, huh? (post #1608)

scubarang, in response to Vicky's quote of "I have to admit, he kinda rocks.": Well, he can be trained to fully rock, I'm sure. (post #1610)

Ann: You must not get wet often then. That's unfortunate. (post #1619)

EL has been an oft-mentioned nation in the forum henceforth, largely because of the many dirty, dirty minds that occupy the forum. It is located parallel to all threads, and can be entered quite easily by slipping (intentionally or unintentionally) into the gutters, a system that spans the extent of both the forum and EL (page 92, post #4575).

It is also considered to be an amusement park by some (page 34, post #1683) for the wonderful rides you can find in EL. There are a variety of them, spanning across all tastes and preferences, so it is possible to find at least one ride that satisfies you completely.

Major Landmarks:

The Governor's House, located in the epicenter of EL. This is scubarang's home.

The Gutters, a system that is like roads in the sense that you must use one to get anywhere. These are Roma's home.

Governmental Positions and Titles:

Governor of EL: scubarang

Senator of Gutters, et al: Roma

Queen of All Things Delectable . . . Specifically Pie (AKA Tasty Queen): Ann

Minion of Moaning: Leigh

Resident: Kat (named thusly so we may rule over her (or under)) (WanderingChild96 has since abandoned the forum, so this position is open for whoever reads this first.)

The Common Room Catalogue

Here at The Dull, we tend to measure our historical epochs by Common Room. Each has it's own unique features and moments, and all have contributed to make The Dull what it is today.

IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO PERUSE OLD CRs AND FIND 'SIGNIFICANT MOMENTS' PLEASE DO SO. Significant moments are things that have had staying power here on the forum--they might not have seemed like a big deal at the time, but now they're ingrained into our 'culture'. Woowoos are an example of this.

Just post here and I'll add them to the catalogue and delete the post. Multiple people can do this - I have a feeling it would be rather entertaining for some.

--

CR I: Dec 13 - Dec 19, 2008

significant moments include:

CR II: Dec 18, 2008 - Jan 3, 2009

significant moments include: The Hypocritical Monkey

Interlude of The Shiny

CR III: Jan 25 - Feb 4

CR IV: Feb 4 - Feb 13

CR V: Feb 13 - Feb 21

CR VI: Feb 21 - Mar 6

CR VII: Mar 6 - Mar 21

CR VIII: Mar 21 - Apr 26

CR IX: Apr 26 - May 21

significant moments include:Our foray into the wonderful world of cannibalism

CR X: May 21 - June 4

CR XI: June 4 - June 28

CR XII: June 28 - July 15

CR XIII: July 15-Aug 1

CR XIV: Aug 1 - Aug 14

significant moments include: The Declaration of EL [after the Thurbatron incident]

CR XV: Aug 14

CR XV1

Common Room XVI, Kim, Starlit, Nik and Sarah discovered the wonder that is sleep deprivation poetry, significant because it inspired a saga detailing Kim's pre-forum history.

We're Number One

On December 14, 2009, at 9:47 AM forum time, The DG Forum became the top Harry Potter forum on fanfiction.net.

The post that made us the number one forum at 117,603 posts was post number 3319 in Common Romm XX written by Ann (MemoriesFade):

As do I. Rufus Wainwright's is good, too.

I have both. I like his but Kate Voegele's is my most favorite one.

I love the Sex and the City movie, but am not a fan of the show.

Roma (Cadavorous Apples) did some very complicated and tedious math and post-counting to determine which post was the actual one to put us over the top, since we weren't alerted to the fact until Harriet (ShockTreatment) randomly announced it shortly after it occured.

Congrats to everyone who has ever contributed to the post count.

The Sparky Debacle

The Sparky Debacle has been referred to a number of times by some of the older members as an instance of extreme newbie bullying. Remarks like, "Oh, but I haven't turned her into a Sparky yet!" have abounded, especially when some members (AKA Roma AKA me) are commented about for their (my) rude ways. It should be noted here, to all newbies and other members of the Forum, that Roma (me) is an extreme case of the Forum members. She (I) simply has this innate dislike of newbies which probably stems from her (my) hatred of change. So it may take a while to convince her (me) of your worth, unless your name is Artha in which case there is absolutely no time at all. You should not take anything she (I) personally, as it is never meant as anything more than teasing.

Even so, if you feel as if you are being unfairly harangued, do not hesitate to contact a mod (preferably Leigh or scuba since rowan and Kim are so rarely on the forum) or anyone you feel comfortable approaching.

Again: Roma is merely Roma, so do not feel as if she's directly targeting you.

--

Note: Bolded names mean that the quote following it is theirs, and this is written in Roma's point of view, so all the "I" refers to her. Meaning me.

Citation note: This post can be found in Common Room XX, also created by the lovely Roma, on page 90, post 4480. (http://forum.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/20544661/90/)

Note number two: This entire post was a result of Roma's OCDness when Sarah remarked that Roma was one of the more "extreme" members of the forum. Roma was proving her innocence. (*snort*)

--

Key members of The Sparky Debacle: Written Sparks (Nova), Cadaverous Apples (Roma), sanctuary-in-dreams (Sid), VickyVicarious (Vicky), Violet Strawberri (Joanna), MemoriesFade (Ann), and Boogum (Kim).

--

Oh, I did not even call her Sparky first!

Joanna did here at #2146. (http://forum.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/17771445/43/)

And the continues through here. (http://forum.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/17771445/44/)

Okay, she (Nova) was the one who said it sounded like a dog name. And then Sid said "The last thing we need in this conversation is a talk about dog names. *glares pointedly at Roma and Vicky*" (edited for asterisks!).

And then . . . guilty party (Roma):

Sparkatron.

Sends you tingle shocks of electricity if you angle it just right.

When protests of having a third were mentioned, I quickly responded with this delightful line:

I object to that. Three is the perfect number. The Holy Trinity, the three parts of the psyche, the three orifices . . .

Really, it only makes sense to have a third.

(Which makes complete sense.)

For her part, Nova didn't protest and I picked up on that pacifism and expounded on it.

During the midst of this, however, I was also giving her crap about SPaG for the few slip-ups I noticed because I am anal and OCD. It wasn't too much, but I think she took my reminders as offensive.

Then Nova said she was taking off (in a roundabout way) and Vicky asked if we were really that scary. Nova replied with:

No, not scary. Just not very friendly. And not all of you. Just some of you. I thought I could come here and meet people who share interests. Chat, have fun, hang out. Guess I was wrong.

Nova then asked for me to cease and desist:

Please don't call me that.

(in response to me "instructing Sparkatron to trot over to Vicky")

And I said...

You're right--Sparky is the normal mode that can trot. Sparkatron doesn't exactly "trot". Apologies.

Which, admittedly, isn't exactly nice.

Nova:

And please don't call me Sparky.

What did I ever do to you?

After this, I don't really see any blatant provocation on my part. Mere mentions of her being turned into Sparkatron ("And I've turned the newbie into a dog!"). It should also be noted that the only person there who said anything in Nova's defense was Joanna: "*Pokes Roma repeatedly* Meanie!" And that's not much of a defense, either. That's out of Sid, Kim, and Vicky, too, who were also present (Ann showed up late).

Oh, and another wonderful Roma quote in reference to Ann complaining about catching up:

You don't have to read all of it. Only the important bits.

The easiest way to determine which part are the important bits are to Ctrl+F "Cadaverous Apples," and read each post. That'll get you caught up in no time.

Ann then brings up Sparkatron because she's sufficiently caught up on the next page in the midst of a halfway serious conversation about Snape. She says, "What if I don't want electricity? It would be an awful shame if while taking Sparkatron on one of my walks to EL, and onto my favorite ride, I get electrocuted." (http://forum.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/17771445/46/)

To which Nova scathingly replied:

It's not Sparky or Sparkatron or anything of the friggin' sort. If it wasn't high on your priority list to remember my name, too bad.

Vicky tries to tell the newbie that we're only joking, and in retrospect I can see how it might have served to only tick her off more:

Hey, Nova, quit it! They don't mean it in a nasty way.

And the 'Sparkatron' they now refer to has become, I believe, another imaginary dog.

Just relax. Chill out.

Nova:

Sorry! It's hurtful. Wouldn't you feel the same way if it seemed that everyone was attacking you for no reason. I don't know any of you yet. I don't know your sense of humor or personality. I'm sorry. I've been bullied and teased a lot in my life and I'm trying to stand up for myself.

I didn't mean to be so defensive. I'm sorry.

Kim steps in with her pseudo-mom (*cough* I meant mod) card and defends Nova: (note: this was also before Kim officially became a mod)

And on a more important note: darlings, as amusing as it may seem to you to joke about 'Sparkatron', it is obviously upsetting Nova because of the close association with her name, which means that however innocent you may have intended it to be, I think you should just stick to Thurbatron and the other robotic beastie if you want to joke about dogs.

Ann then clarifies that we weren't even referring to her (in reference to Nova's "friggin'" post up above in which she denounces her canine relations):

Dear, I am in no way referring to you. You would not be a fun ride at all.

Nova apologizes again for her ignorance for our jokes, and laughs at Ann's riding reference. I then say (rather patronizingly, to boot) in response to the combination of Nova's "friggin'" post and Ann's response:

Obviously.

She's not exactly one for EL.

How old are you? You're just as cute in your naivete as Sid. *pinches cheeks*

Vicky at this point also clarifies that we were not in any way making fun of her, and that if there had been actual intent to hurt her, someone would have stepped in. And since Kim did step in when it became clear that we were taking it too far, this is quite true.

Vicky's post was 2279 on page 46 (which is linked above in the third link) and from there on, it's a bunch of "Oh we're not really mean and we're always gutter-esque" and "I'm actually like you guys too (but not really because I'm all sad about your teasing)" and then some posts about us really liking her and all that rot.

Scanning for relevant Sparky-related posts, many should note that on page 47, post 2330 is my legendary cheek pinch. (http://forum.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/17771445/47/)

Leigh said this to Nova on post 2420 (after Nova had left): (http://forum.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/17771445/49/)

And Nova--I have to hand it to you. I'm reading the conversation earlier and I'm quite proud of the way you handled yourself in front of our naughty little set of miscreants. Welcome again.

Except Nova resurfaced to say thank you and she's sensitive but isn't prone to crying.

(Honestly, at this point I don't see where we actually scared her off . . . )

Okay, I don't see anything else after she leaves the first time, and if I remember right she just faded away instead of a dramatic proclamation.

So this concludes The Sparky Debacle!

--

Alternative note as of February 16, 2010: This post has been edited from its original verbatim quoting to be more suitable to a Lexicon entry, as its posting in CR XX was not intended to be a Lexicon post. Please see the original posting if you'd like to read it in its Roma-tinged and biased entirety.

FORUM REFORM

(January 2, 2010)

2010 brings the dawning of a new era in the life of The DG Forum. What began roughly one year ago as a small group of D/G writers has grown into the largest community of D/G fans and D/G writers in one of the biggest and best known fanfiction archives in D/G fandom. In the spirit of embracing change, of growing and evolving, The DG Forum announces the following changes in the structure of our government:

Heads of House/Moderators:

Rowan (rowan-greenleaf): Head of Gryffindor.

scubarang (scubarang): Head of Slytherin.

Leigh (Aerileigh): Head of Ravenclaw / Sorting Queen.

Kim (Boogum): Head of Hufflepuff.

Prefects:

Lia (Incognito):Review Prefect.

Role: to preside over The Review Society.

-

Sid (sanctuary-in-dreams): Lexicon Prefect.

Role: Keeper of the Forum Lexicon, Forum Archive.

-

Lunar (Bree, Lunar Fire): Newbie Thread Prefect.

Role: to safeguard and preserve the Who's Who.

-

Sarah (imadoodlenoodle): Newbie Prefect aka Newbie Ambassador.

Role: to represent the interests of the newbies in all forum affairs.

-----------------

We would like to request the cooperation of all forum members so that these changes can be effective and beneficial for our growing community.

Thanks for your support!

The DG Forum

Attention forum-goers, our Topic Categories have been restructured as follows:

New Categories

FORUM AFFAIRS (Manifesto, Lexicon, Who's Who, FAQ, Forum Reform, Lair of the Sorting Queen, Suggestions, Cabana Boy Claim, Wall of Shame)

COMMUNITY RESOURCES (Birthday Calendar, Owl Exchange, Therapy Room, Our Portraits, Sick Note Thread, While You Were Gone, Random Annoucements, Specific Reply)

WRITING (One Sentence Story, OSS Drabble Challenge, Round Robin, Challenge Tag, current FE)

WRITER RESOURCES (Writing Help and Tips, Beta Thread, The Canon Cannon, Wave Your Wands!, Plot Bunnies)

FIC RECOMMENDATIONS (HP Fic Recs, Must-Read D/G One-shots, HP Fic Recs - Our Fics, Fic Ads: Shameless Plug, Review Society, FE list of fics, Non-HP Fic Recs)

COMPLETED FIC EXCHANGES/CHALLENGES

HP DISCUSSION (Characters and Pairings, DG Fic Dissection, DG Fanart, Deathly Hallows, Looking For A Fic, Got Flames)

NON-HP DISCUSSION (Ramblings, Book Recs, Music Rec, The How To Thread, The Movie Thread, Ars Poetica, etc.)

COMMON ROOMS

GAMES

POLLS AND VOTING

GENERAL (random): Omegle Conversations, Personality Quizzes, DG Community, Letters to Rowan, DG Family Tree, Advice Thread

-

Keep in mind that the default topic category is 'General', but try to fit your thread into one of the more specific topic categories. Again, when creating new threads, please file under the appropriate categories!

---

A much deserved thanks to Vicky for tackling the monster that was our lack of proper categories.

--

(My first Lexicon post! *titters*)

Attention all Forum goers (especially the newbies):

The Compass: Navigate the Forum (http://forum.fanfiction.net/topic/54059/25636171/1/)was created yesterday, 02/05/2010 (that's May 2nd for the US people). This is the go-to thread if you need immediate guidance to work your way through our many threads. Listed in the threads, in appropriate categories, are the most used (and at times, most important) threads at the Dull. Use the Compass wisely to guarantee an easy travel on the sacred DG Ship on the Dull oceans! (Oh, don't I feel dramatic.)

--

Credit goes to Sarah (imadoodlenoodle) for having this great idea, and for subsequently creating this thread (by way of Rowan (rowan-greenleaf).

This applies to everyone*, so listen up:

If you ever feel the urge to change your username, please make a note in either the RA or WYWG threads, because some members just can't handle change - or are too bothered to research who you are. Let's make it easier on those members, shall we?

The DG Forum C2

Introducing, the first ever Dull C2! Created by Sarah (imadoodlenoodle) - along with help from others - this C2 offers to the ff.networld the "Creme de la creme" of DG fics. Selected by a handful of staff members, these fics will be recognized for there awesomeness with the Fire and Ice ship. u_u It is currently in the works, but it holds great promise, no?

2013 Update: Unfortunately, this dream was never quite fulfilled. Many of our brave soldiers who went out to hunt for those DG gems got lost in the murky bogs and fogs of Real Life, and the special stories they had collected were, alas, forgotten along with them. Others did manage to return with their treasures, but these poor souls got confounded beyond repair while trying to go through the Processes Too Complicated to Explain in order to confirm their stories as worthy of our illustrious C2. They too were eventually forgotten.

But The DG Forum was not deterred, and clutched tightly to their dream to discover the best Draco/Ginny fics in the World Wide Web and collect them in one place.

This place would be known as The DG Forum C2: a hallowed place, where DG fans from all over could come together and glory in the wonderfulness that was our selection.

It is with this final attempt that we hang our hopes and dreams for a better future for our fandom, where our ship can weather the tumultuous storms without fear of sinking.

Time Warping

FFN is known for its finicky, uncooperative and cruel hearted actions. Time Warping is a perfect example of what happens when FFN wonks out.

Time Warping - as coined by Kim (Boogum): "Well, I know what is wrong with FFnet. It's stuck in a time warp." - ECR page 7, post #330 [thanks, Sarah and Leighfor helping me find the quote]- is when FFN decides to hold any thread hostage, and make it do silly things, such as not update new pages, not shownew pages at all, bar entrance to CRs as a whole, and other heinous acts. (Not to be confused with the song/dance from The Rocky Horror Picture Film - it was certainly the inspiration, though.)

The first time the Time Warping happened was around September 11-12; several CRs were made, though all fell victim to the Time Warping. Rowan (rowan-greenleaf) finally made an Emergency Common Room, which worked well until FFN went back to normal (whatever thatis). There was even some contemplation for making a new DG Forum! Forum, but that was shot when that forum started acting up, and the old Dull started going back to normal. (Those talks were in the first SR thread, at the end of page 20.)

Recently (that is, August 23) another CR was made by Lia (Incognito)because of FFN's recent case of Time Warping.

The first Time Warping incident, Rowan laid down these rules for future reference:

What To Do In An Emergency Situation

Scenario #1: the Emergency Common Room collapses

1- remain calm. Breathe deeply. There are brown papers bags and smelling salts available in every room.

2. Go to an OLD thread; Try the Specific Reply Thread. Wait there, help is on the way.

Scenario #2: The entire forum collapses

1- remain calm. Breathe deeply.

2. Owl one of the HoHs with your coordinates. Wait there, help is on the way.

*even if we are incommunicado, it is unlikely that the problem will last more than a few days.

Scenario #3: The whole of FF.NET collapses.

1- remain calm. Breathe deeply.

2. Email one of the HoHs with your coordinates. Wait there, help is on the way.

You will be tossed a link in no time.

The Purge (round 1)

On November 26th, 2010, Fanfiction.net introduced an auto-delete feature in order to "cleanse" forums of threads with a date stamp of 9 months or older. The DG Forum, ranked number 1 in the Harry Potter forum list, lost over 100,000 posts in the first auto-cleanse, dropping to 114,000 posts after having lost most of its original threads.

To counter the thread-killing device operating within the site, a Periodic Purge thread was created on November 27th, 2010. The Periodic Purge thread is designed to keep track of threads facing deletion and to generate thread salvaging mechanisms in order to prevent the loss of important threads in the future.