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Silent Memento

Your very own personal rant thread. Enjoy.

3/15/2009 #1
Silent Memento

Well, I'm kind of pissed. I'm sick of all this arguing, taking sides and shit. What came out of it the last time? A schism. I felt split down the middle then, and I feel split down the middle now. I swear, the stress is going to give me a fucking heart attack. With my trial, with my displacement...I want to just take it out on somebody. I won't take it out on anyone on FFN. It's not fair; they're not the ones who put me where I am today. I'm just fucking stressed, and I don't know if I should stay on and talk or if I should just leave for a few months to kill my stress. It's not as bad as it was in my house; it's worse in a way.

-sigh- I'm sorry for ranting.

3/15/2009 #2
Rising Dusk

-hugs- I know the feeling, Mem. Being torn between friends is not fun. I'm afraid that another Ta/D will occur, and I wasn't even around for that. I just know the pain of losing friends, and being caught in the middle.

The reason it's probably worse, is most likely because this is your safe haven. You expect things to go wrong at your house, but here? This is where you come to be relieved of it.

Sorry, just putting it out there. -hugs-

3/15/2009 #3
Rising Dusk
I'm very upset with how tonight ended. -_- Feelings were divided, a forum was almost split, and in the end, nothing was truly solved. All that truly happened was the throwing of insults at each other. Personally, I feel that the tensions at T/D were because of some people's feelings towards new people. I may have posted for several months at T/D by now, but I'm still a newbie. I don't want to create any more conflict between the friendship that I have come to respect at T/D, therefore I will refrain from posting there. Whether or not it is a permanent self-exile, I can't determine as of immediate. Only time will tell.
3/15/2009 #4

Hey, all.

I've decided I'm sick of the way things are at T/D at the moment, and so will be popping in here from time to time instead of over there. I don't need the shit, and I'm sick of obnoxious behaviour anyway. For those who care, I left this on the T/D diary and chat:

Delete this from the Diary Thread if you want. I don't care.

I've just read through the posts of last night's fight...and quite frankly, I am disgusted.

I don't understand how T/D could degrade itself from friends building up what they've lost into ripping apart people like packs of animals. I'll admit I've had my moments, mainly because I look up to the long-term mods and felt I wasn't being 'strict' enough. Now I see I was wrong, and I regret being a bitch with new people, who are simply looking for a place to chat.

Weren't we all?

Yeah, we joke our harshness is a 'test', but this is beyond simple laughs now. It says in our rules that we're not a gated community. This is a lie. We've reached the stage where we think we're so superior, so above everyone else that we believe we can treat other like shit and get away with. They're people, and they're not perfect.

That's right, Rayne, they're not perfect, like you said, but for some reason humanity is an excuse you can hide behind for your actions while others can't.

Since I've been banned from FFnet, I've had to look to other places to entertain myself and retain my sanity, and I stumbled across a forum on RT. On my first post, I was absolutely terrified I was going to receive the reception that T/D gives to its newcomers. Instead I greeted with such friendliness that I found myself slipping into the works of the 'Let's Figure This Out' in no time at all, and now I'm one of their avid posters. It was only then that I realised just how wrong everything is here.

There are a few of you, more than a few of you, who are nothing more than bullies, and the way you behave sickens me. I somehow doubt you'd be as obnoxious and nasty if you were facing your victim in real life, or act as high and mighty as you do here. You're a mod? A reg? You're the top forum?

Whooptie fucking doo.

You’re above no one, whatever you may think.

And as for your trolling comment, Rayne, whoring stories is considered 'trolling', too. So I guess that makes a lot of us trolls, because there are many, including myself, who advertise our stories to our friends. Natz is just as bad as the rest of us.

Oh, wait, no, she's worse isn't she? She's not 'one of us', so everything we do is alright, but a crime if she does it.

The lot of you need to step back and take a look at yourselves, because I'm fucking sick of being the one doing it for you.

Despite all this, however, I love every single one of you like family...and that's what gets me the most.

I swear to God, Stan, if that ever happens here, I'm abandoning forums altogether.

3/16/2009 #5
Silent Memento

Also from T/D.

Rayne, Kyota, this message is for the two of you.

Quite frankly, I'm disgusted at how you treated Natz. No, disgusted doesn't nearly describe my feelings now. How about complete and utter contempt? Would that suffice? You know what? She couldn't say anything here. Everything she did say was either at her forum or through a PM. I dismissed them, thinking that I wouldn't have to play sides if I did. Now? My contempt for you two is simply paramount to everything else I feel.

How can I respect people who send parting shots at someone who didn't do a fucking thing? I looked up to you two. Rayne, I know that you weren't always the more tolerant, but I expected better from you, Kyota. After all, were you not the one who told me to keep my temper around newbies?

The thing that I find ironic was that Natz was absolutely right about you two hating her. She was absolutely right about her friends. She said that she didn't even want to try to introduce her friends to you because you'd tear them apart. I've had the pleasure of meeting them. You know what? Grammar aside, they happen to be good people. Maybe that's a reason why I've changed a bit. Maybe that's why I'm a lot more tolerant toward newbies than I normally was.

Sparkle didn't do a thing wrong, and yet she was banned forever. At Natz' forum, I felt horrible for her. She felt like the entire thing was her fault. It wasn't, and yet, with the way y'all had acted, it might have very well been her fault in your eyes.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Newton. Why am I quoting him? Because your actions have created an equal and opposite reaction. I am leaving T/D permanently. No, this is not a jest. If anyone wishes to talk to me, I'm always open to PMs. I'm not leaving FFN permanently, but you're not going to find me around T/D. This situation, this whole thing...it's just like Ta/D. And there is no way in fucking hell I'm going down that road again.

With those words, I bid you farewell.

Silent Memento, alias, Mem, alias, Jeremy.

3/16/2009 #6
Rising Dusk

Within all of my power, Lance, I promise I will not allow this blasphemy to happen here. -nods-

3/16/2009 #7
Rising Dusk

I posted this on the chat, but you may have missed it. I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Mem, Silver, and Lance, for sticking for me. I greatly appreciate it, and I'm glad I have such great friends. -nods-

3/16/2009 #8

I have to say something on this matter.

I wasn't here when this argument happened, but what I read shocked me, not much Rayne's behaviour; because I expect that of her. Kyota, shocked me, she always came across as gentle and she has always been nice.

Natz, what they said about you was uncalled for, I think your forum is 'quaint and sweet', you weren't whoring for forum posts, as they put it. You're such a great person, never change. Hopefully this will all blow over. However, Rayne needs to control her fingers, she hasn't got much tact.

Mem, don't leave, I respect you for voicing your opinion and for standing up for people.

Lei, I have my British buddy back XD

3/17/2009 #9
Shiner Shining Bright


I don't think I know you, but I definently agree with you, Deity Joanna. Although I'll never be back, I still hope that T/D's days are not yet over.

3/18/2009 #10
Cerulean City

I posted this on the chat, but you may have missed it. I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Mem, Silver, and Lance, for sticking for me. I greatly appreciate it, and I'm glad I have such great friends. -nods-

Natz, I'd have gone for you too, although I might have been too afraid of the consequences to do much. DDDDDDDD; I'm a terrible person.

But you definitely didn't deserve to be blasted like that. You're just proud of the little haven you have, and being proud of it is nothing to be ashamed of.

There. That's all.

3/23/2009 #11
Rising Dusk

You're not a terrible person, Blake. Thank you for your words. :D

At least the conflict is over, but Rayne still needs to return. -sigh-

3/23/2009 #12
Cerulean City

You're not a terrible person, Blake. Thank you for your words. :D

At least the conflict is over, but Rayne still needs to return. -sigh-


I doubt she'll be back anytime soon. I hate to say it, but that girl needs an attitude adjustment.

3/23/2009 #13
Rising Dusk

I had to find this thing. O.o

-deep breath-



Now that's out of the way. ^^ Let's start from the beginning shall we?

But where is the beginning? Hm... Let's start from the moment I moved from Florida? Sound good? Sure it does. ^^

I warn you that I will be a bit vague, since I would like to get to the point, and I'm not really in a ranting mood. -.-

We were comfortable in Florida. We could what ever we wanted, if we just merely asked. I had good friends in Florida, some of which I still keep in contact with. I liked our life there. Like I said we were comfortable.

Then we moved to fucking Maryland, and everything went to hell. We couldn't catch up with the bills; it was one bill a month. I went to the worst school ever; though I did meet some cool friends. Few, but they are there. ^^ Our "Christian" landlord was the devil. AAFES stole almost $4,000 from my mom. (Maybe more, but I can't be arsed to remember.) I went through a shit load of medical problems including depression, minor seizures, shit like that. I /had/ to get a job in order for our family to survive and (ZOMG!) Dad got a job as well. (Though he made less than I did. XP) Ugh... I don't even want to remember fucking Maryland.

Problems escalated until our "Christian" landlord devil decided he wanted to show us his merciful side and kicked us out of the house. Thankfully, my Grandmother on my ex father's side (sounds wierd, I know) took us in. That started life in Pennsylvania.

But did our problems end there? Of course not. That would be too nice of Maryland to just let us go, huh? Fucking Maryland. -mutter-

We continued going to school in Maryland, which was a beautiful two hour drive especially when we had to get up at four in the morning. I had to quit my job so we could get out at a reasonable time, dad got fired for drinking, and mi mom ended up the only one working. She eventually transferred us to McCaskey so she didn't have to get up so early in the morning.

Then the stress took its toll and mom got not just one, but two heart attacks. Lovely.

Now AFFES has accused Mom of stealing money and the crewmembers over there have stabbed her in the back so many times, she was a terrible manager, when it was she kept the reputation of that store in good standards, and they are trying to take more money from her, to the point that she had it.

She quit.

Of course... My dad didn't listen to my mom when she told him everyday/night since he lost his job to get a new one. Of course not. That would make sense, huh?

She /had/ a backup plan, and a very good one. She was going to wait on Dad to get a job to quit hers, then she would get a small job on the side, while at the same time going to college and letting him support her. Now there's a thought, huh? Then when she got the degree she wanted and was able to support herself with a career she wants then she was going to leave him. -shrugs-

That was the plan. But as stated above, the asshole didn't listen.

This rant has no end. Why? 'Cause there isn't a resolution yet. So, now what?

Great. To put icing on the cake, now mi parents are arguing. -sigh-

4/6/2009 #14

My strange WW1 rant... As was posted on a Gaia profile at 2 in the morning... XDDDDDDDDD



Kysa-Kiera's (that's me) status : world history is being difficult. people need to stop having wars dangit!

Gir Rox 1498 (random friend) : lol ur stat is funny :)

Kysa-Kiera : Haha, thanks~

I'm serious though. If people would just stop being so defensive because Serbia killed Arch Duke whats-his-name, who was heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, then Austria-Hungry wouldn't have gotten all upset and "declared war" and then Germany wouldn't have had to try to help and aid Austria-Hungry. They weren't even evolved in the first place! Then they had to be smart-ducks and declare war on Russia, which brought in Great Britain and France. It was called "The War to End All Wars," and it should have been. But no. Then the stupid people had to make the Germans sign the Treaty of Versailles, which basically killed the Germans socially and economical. Not to mention that they now could have no army, had no foreign land, and didn't even have control over their own coal mines. Because no, that won't fail a country. And years later, when nobodies expecting it, the grumpy countries of Germany, Italy, and Japan create World War 2. 'Cause we didn't learn the first time! But that, is another story all together. World War 1 alone killed off about 8,538,315 people. 8 Million people, and we go get involved in another one. Then there's the Cold War, and then all the 'petty' wars before all of this. And now, we have the middle east raging mayhem, and we're fighting over there while Hell is threatening to break loose in our own country.

Seriously, complete isolation may have been the best thing for us. To bad we didn't keep up that policy. But then again, half of us wouldn't be here if we did.

**The strangest online WW1 rant EVER.** Lol. Sorry, I could have done better if I wasn't half asleep... such as remembering the Archdukes name... XD

4/6/2009 . Edited 4/6/2009 #15
Silent Memento

Complete isolation? Brilliant. Then the Japanese would have taken over the United States. If that happened, we wouldn't be having this semi-debate. I agree that the Treaty of Versailles was cruel to Germany, but isolation for us was stupid. WWII ended up boosting our economy, as crazy as this might sound. How would you have liked to have done nothing after Al-Queda attacked us and murdered more Americans than the Japanese did in Pearl Harbor? That's what complete isolation is, and to be truthful, I think it's a bullshit policy.

4/7/2009 #16

Complete isolation, in practice, is exactly what you say it is. In theory, it should act quite well. But we all know that nothing works according to theory.

And I wasn't trying to start a debate, Mem. I was just posting something random... You made me feel bad~ *is having a bad day*

And yes, I would have prefered that we had "done nothing" when Al-Queda attacked. We gave them the response they were looking for. And in the end, we only ended up hurting our country and basically sending our men into a death trap war. There are other, better ways of handling things then returning fire, and we handled it poorly.

4/7/2009 #17
Cerulean City

Do we need a debate thread, peoples?


I'd also contribute to that~

4/7/2009 #18

We may, Blake. XDD

4/7/2009 #19
Rising Dusk

I have...five minutes to post this. -glares-

I. Hate. Daniel.

Who's he? My stepfather.

What does he do? Nothing.

Nothing... Doesn't hep around in the house, doesn't have a job, nothing.

But he finds it necassary to yell at us for doing "nothing."

This morning, he personally wakes up in the morning, for what? To make certain he yells at Jonathan for not taking the dog out.

Just now? He bitches at Jonathan for the same thing then starts yelling and insulting me when I defend my brother.

Fuck. Him.

One day, he will be gone. And I will rejoice that day.

4/22/2009 . Edited 4/22/2009 #20

I'm not sure what to think of recent events.

My mum is in the hospital. I've taken over the responbility of being the "mother" to my sibings again. My dad's trying his best, but I can't stand his anger flashes anymore. My best friend is going behind her mothers back to talk to me, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I love her to death, but I don't want her to get in trouble again becaue of me. She's going through enough as it is with that stupid Freshman boy and her surgery.

I know I have absoutely no right to bitch, but I don't give a damn. I'm so fed up. Everybody tries to tell, God has a plan, He knows what's best, Have faith in God. Well I don't wan to have faith in God. God has done nothing for me. Ever. Maybe it's a childhood grudge, maybe it's something more. Who's to know. But if God has such a wonderful, fabulous, fullproof plan, then why does anything go so wrong? Why does he make good people suffer? He watches as men create war and kill eachother off over juvinal subjects. He sits back and waits until the truly faithful proval. But Earth to God! Your "faithful" are just as curupt as everyone else! No one is pure anymore and therefor, no one is going to survive into your "perfect world." Do you find it amusing to see such human conflict as you enjoy yourself in Heaven? I wouldn't doubt it. People tell me all problems can be solved in faith in you. But I refuse to have faith in someone so cruel. You are merciless. Does anyone truely get to Heaven? And what is Heaven once you get there? I'd rather go to Hell then be your pet. And I'm tied of being a pawn in your stupid game. So if I am correct, I dare you to kill me now and let this be my witness. Then all will know that you are real. But they will also know that you are merciless and evil.

Sure, I have God problems. But you all knew this. I can blame him, or shall I blame myself? I'd rather th first, but will fade to the second. I can't keep up anymore. But oh well. Lets see what God has in store for me, shall we?

5/3/2009 #21
Cerulean City

Haha, this may be the most dumbass rant you've ever heard. :D

Okay, so I finally got my head out of my ass and started noticing the shit!fics that are in my fandom. Wow, really, Blake? What took you so long? You were blinded by being naturally attracted to the fics that had actual literary quality? What? That's utter nonsense!


For no apparent reason, I decided to go concritting. Yus, concritting. I don't flame, although I'd love to. Snide, snarky comments need to be pasted on some of these. I can point at half of the first page of the archive-guess what! THEY SUCK. I mean, if you're writing about Lucario and Aaron from Lucario and the Mystery of Mew, at least spell. His. Fucking. Name. Right. It's not ARRAN. It's AARON. And no, you can't claim that it's something new, something different. That's his name, that's always how his name has been spelled, that's always how it's going to be spelled. I mean, really.

I don't begrudge anyone to write their stories. I really don't. I wouldn't want the same to be imposed on me if I was a new writer (hell, I still am). But is it too much to ask for some proper grammar? Tajiri's overcoat. I know that I grew up with an English major, who, lo and behold, taught me to write correctly, speak properly and write well! (Yes, we're going to ignore my blatant disregard for dialogue tags). :D

But seriously! Tomorrow I'll awaken to find people writing back, possibly bitching because I happened to try to help them. Why do I even bother?

5/6/2009 #22
Shiner Shining Bright

My dad is really annoying. One of my earlies memories of him is when I was six, he threw me out of the house and didn't let me in until late at night- in the middle of January. He has a short temper. He'll hit me, kick me, or throw me against a wall. When I manage to get away, he'll leave me there for five minutes, then go in and try to convince me it's my fault that he hurt me. I'm getting sick of it!

5/12/2009 #23
Rising Dusk

The theme for Lion King one is responsibility, while the theme for Simba's Pride is equality~ Both teach great lessons. -nodnod-

Speaking of responsibility, it's just amazing the amount of people who no longer take responsibility this age and time. What's even more amazing is that those who do are often covered by those who don't. And why? 'Cause a great majority of our generation won't do it. And it's not just our generation either. Adults, are just as bad. I have seen it. Daniel is an example.

So who is to blame? The adults for starting it, or teens for following? That's a great question with a simple answer. We are all to blame. -nod-

By taking responsibilty, I meant that if someone does something, instead of admitting it, they don't own up to it.

For example with Daniel. He sucks up our money with his alcohol, ciggs and license situation. But he will never admit that it's 'cause of him we are in a hole. Instead he blames us(the kids) ;cause we get everything. -.- Bitch, please, Mom hasn't gotten me anything over ten dollars since we moved from Florida. -.-

Or when one sees someone else in need, they ignore it.

For example. Daniel. He doesn't have a job or anything. He doesn't cook, clean, any shit like that. He smokes, watches TV, and plays on the computer.

Our family has no money, but instead of getting a job he rather keep his comfortable lifestyle. -.-

But it isn't just Daniel too blame. -.-

Daniel is a pest and we know it, yet we have stayed with him for years. A decade for the matter. Mom realised too late that he is not worth it. Yet he's still here. -.-

Neither is Mom is completely at fault for the matter. -.-

Yes, I have tried for several years to convince Mom to leave him. Now it's almost judgement day at last 'cause my senior year is fast approaching. Yet, I have never told Daniel himself that he needs to leave.

So again, no one is taking action. -.-

What bothers me even more, is when he actually gets a job, he spends 95% of his check on alcohol, and bitch 'cause Mom would ask for more than just fifty dollars to pay the rent.

Hullo, the reason he got the job was so that he can help pay the rent. Not drink his ass off. -.-

5/16/2009 #24
Silent Memento

Here's something that pisses me off about a lot of rappers:

You know how they all talk about the hood and shit like that, right? I'm fine with people rapping about things they know about. Like, say, people who actually grew up in the hood rapping about the hood? Yeah, I'm fine with that. But when you have rappers who grew up in suburbia rapping about the hood, it pisses me off. You don't know what the fucking hell you're talking about! You'll never know what the fuck you're talking about unless you've actually lived there!

Please do us all a favor and rap about nightclubs and strippers and shit like that. Hell, why don't you rap about your 'challenging' suburbian lifestyle? I don't give a flying fuck about that: you probably know what you're talking about there. But don't rap about the hood unless you actually live there/grew up there/have been there for a long period of time. So, how about you stick to your suburbian shit, okay, you wannabe gangbangers?

5/17/2009 #25

Why do people have to be so fucking obsessed with fitting into society? Even the people who are supposed to be against society, the Emo's and Goths, punks, etc. try /so/ hard to be liked by people. They TRY to be accepted and in the process, it's become a fashion statement, a CLICK. WHAT THE FUCK?! People don't even understand what it is anymore. There are such warped opinions that the socialality of it all is backwards. Instead of being against society, you're now a huge part of what society tries to be. Has anyone else noticed how many teenagers now consider themselves and others Emo? It's ridiculous!

And what about the Gay community? They aren't accepted. /We/ aren't accepted. So why do we try so fucking hard?! It's not like us whining about it is going to change peoples opinion on the matter. We can't change what the "Bible" says. We can't change that the church throws such a huge fit and cries like babies to get their way. It's not our fault that they get so many people to follow them and to listen to their words of hate. Oh, by the way, CHRISTIANS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HATE ANYBODY!!!!!! If we want to burn in Hell for being gay, SO FUCKING BE IT! But they have no right to tell us who we should and shouldn't love. After all, we didn't chose to be this way. For why would anyone CHOSE to live though the shit loads of ridicule and hardship we get because of the way your God made us?!

Yes, your God. I /refuse/ to have any faith in a God who has made me the way I am and yet has made it so it is WRONG for us to exist. And people say God is loving.

So my main question here, why do people have to be what other people want them to be? Why can't we just be what makes us happy? We were not placed on this Earth to pass judgment. That is not our job. But then why, do we take it as such? I personally believe that we find amusement in causing other people harm. We were not taught not to raise conflict. Even in the Bible there was conflict. Why wasn't it fixed then? Why didn't god just wipe out Adam and Eve and start over? We all know he had the power to do so. And they defyed him; I would have though that He would have gotten rid of the problem. Oh wait, I know why. he was enable to face the fact that he was wrong, that he messed up.

Sound a lot like society?

5/17/2009 #26
Beautiful Thief


People who don't want me as a part of their lives should fucking restrain on commenting on what the fuck is going on with me.

You wanted out? I fucking gave you out. You wanted silence? I fucking gave you silence.

The least you can fucking do is give me that fucking silence back, you son of a bitch.

You didn't give me a fucking chance. Don't you even fucking think that what's going on with me now is anything like what happened between us.

**This post is not about Mem, funnily enough**

5/19/2009 . Edited 5/19/2009 #27

People need to stop telling me that I have a boyfriend. I know I have fucking boyfirend! I mean, come on, he's clingy enough.

Seriously though, just because I'm going out with someone who wants to be with me doesn't mean I don't fucking miss my ex to hell and back.

I know I shouldn't, but there's not a whole fucking lot I can do about it, huh?

So suck it up, and stop reminding me!

*is not directed at anyone on FFN*

5/26/2009 #28
Beautiful Thief

Fuckdammit, people, how hard is it to get TWO people to act as fucking mods?

Seriously. I'm the only authority figure on that fucking forum, and I hate it, because I have to keep everyone in line, okay everything, and then when they fucking talk back to me, it's so fucking frustrating! It's not like I'm being unreasonable. god fucking DAMMIT.

And then one of them goes, "Oh, by the way, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A POST ON THE FORUM ABOUT IT, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BE ON THE FF.NET FORUMS ANYMORE." FUCK THIS. Seriously. That's completely irresponsible. I need to have someone else there!

The admin's busy and in a weirder time zone than I am. The other mod's a shiftworker who's rarely around.

I need another mod. By all that is holy, I cannot deal with being the only mod on that goddamn forum.

I might as well be the fucking admin. Honestly. I do more shit on there than she does.

5/27/2009 . Edited 5/27/2009 #29
Cerulean City

Don't coorce me. Don't force me, don't call me a "lazy ass" when you don't even fucking know me!

[/rant over]


Hey, at least I posted hurr.


5/30/2009 #30
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