Bellatrix Lestrange: The Dark Lord's Most Faithful
This forum is dedicated to Bellatrix Lestrange, her family and the Death Eaters. We have general conversations as well as debates and challenges. So, feel free to come in- grab a glass of lemonade and enjoy! All welcome!
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OMG, Ellen, they're all terrifying!!!!!! I think I'll go for Grey Lady, although Dobby/Winky is horribly tempting... (shudders)

(by the way, Lizzie, I did a tiny edit in your post warning newcomers that the thread is now very M and we are not to be held responsible for the never-quite-fading mental scars. Just so you know ;))

Nagini/Giant Squid: "They were both hopeless and misunderstood. But their fate was to meet, and away from silly wars and a humanity they despised on the whole, two became one in the cold waters of the Lake." Nagini decides that Voldemort is a stupid jerk, goes on a little adventure trip and meets her alter ego on the way. Rated M for lots of gruesome sex.

Kreacher/Walburga Black: what happened in the cold and empty, noble yet dusty house of Black for so many years? Kreacher shows his old mistress just how devoted to her he really is. But oh, the pain of touching but a portrait in a frame... Rated M for intense masturbating and bloody self-punishment.

AU Sweeney Todd/Harry Potter crossover, in which the Barkers, a modest pureblooded family, see their life suddenly falling apart as the infamously sexy Lucius Malfoy decides that Lucy Barker is more natural a blonde than Narcissa and therefore more fitting to stand by his side. Benjamin Barker is sent away to Azkaban, where he meets dark and alluring Bellatrix Black-Lestrange, who will unleash the blackness within his soul, but he is yet to learn that Lucy, under Lucius' guidance, has taken the very same dark path as he has. Will feature Sweeney/Bellatrix, Bellamort, Sweeney/Bellatrix/Voldemort threesome, Lucy/Lucius, bloody plots of revenge by a slightly maddened Narcissa, and probably some it-looks-like-incest-but-it-isn't-really-it's-sick-enough-as-it-is Draco/Johanna in later chapters.... and maybe Johanna/Snape too, just so that Alan Rickman doesn't have his role screwed up. (ponders)

1/30/2011 #91

Oh. My. GAWD!

You're an effing genius! Me LOVES it! Especially the Sweeney Todd/Harry Potter crossover. It's so disturbing, so crappy, I want to read it!

All the death eaters/all the death eaters rated M for odd couplings and awkward sex: 'Snape was bored. As in, really bored. He stared at a spot on the wall. He got tired of staring at said spot on the wall. Suddenly, a lightbulb popped up over his head. 'I've got it!', he thought to himself. He then walked into his potions store room, sought out the 'Non-Lethal Potions' section, closed his eyes and randomly picked one. Then he Apparated to Malfoy Manor, and poured the potion into two thirds of the glasses on the drink tray in the hall - Voldemort always offered them a small taster before each meeting. He then took the Floo back to his office, walked back to the 'Non-Lethal Potions' section... and was horrified to find that Amortentia was the potion missing.

Imaginary Harry/Dumbledore rated T for assumptions: Harry stared wide-eyed at Dumbledore, who'd just invited him to spending a few evenings at his office during the following year. Surely he didn't..? 'Um, Headmaster, I'm afraid there's been some mistake, I-' Dumbledore interrupted him impatiently, 'Harry, don't be silly! Don't you see that this is the best option? You need some knowledge, some experience! How can you possibly defeat Voldemort without it?' Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. 'Defeat... Voldemort? Surely you don't mean-' Again he was interrupted by Dumbledore. 'Silly boy! Have you already forgotten what I told you last year? You've got to find a way to break that horrible, heartless, wretched man! And only I can help you! So why wont you come here and let me-' 'NO! I'm sorry, but I could never do that to anyone, not even Voldemort! Not saying that I'm not tempted by your offer,' Harry blushed a little at this, 'but thing is... I could never destroy a spirit like that.' Dumbledore clicked his tongue impatiently. 'Harry, Harry, Harry, I don't know what it is about this that you don't get, but thing is that there's no way around! You must do this!' Harry was on the verge of tears, 'But... Sir... I...I..' 'Oh, please! Any other wizard would be over the moon if given a chance to learn some of my tricks, have some of my experience!' Harry started to inch towards the door. 'But I don't want to! Ginny is a perfect... Teacher.' Dumbledore frowned. 'Ginny? But- Harry, I don't know what you're playing at, but I must say that you're being unreasonable, not picking the best option. Can't you see what I have to offer?'

Harry ran.

Books/Movies rated M for graphic sex between two different species, summary reading: 'They were so different - one preferred romance, the other wanted to think things through. One was clear and logical, the other was random and incoherent. Yet they were so tightly bound together.'

1/30/2011 #92

Mmmmh... Harry/Dumbledore :D

Draco/Crabbe/Goyle threesome: "They always stood on each side of him. In every situation, if you get my drift."

Moaning Myrtle/dead yet forever undead Voldemort: Myrtle somehow makes her way to the freaky Kings' Cross like place Voldemort is damned in for all eternity, and it turns out that she still holds a lot of frustrated feelings for him - enough to occupy them for a long, long while. Please note that Voldemort does not possess Harry's innocent, miraculous ability to make clothes appear out of thin air. Rated M for rape, unbearably high screeching, and Moaning Myrtle's general presence.... in all the rightfulness of her name.

Snape/James: "The Many Times Snivellus Got His Pants Stolen Off." Threesome fantasies, more than dirty pranks and hormonal fucked-upness ensues.

1/31/2011 #93

OMG... is it bad that I want to read them all?

In any case - Draco/Crabbe/Goyle. 'Cuz they're badass.

Dark!Harry: 'He'd been cutting himself for four years now. And he'd been attempting suicides for just as long. After all, who could blame him? Vernon had been abusing and raping him, Petunia had been starving him, and Dudley had bullied him. But then - just as he was about to swallow yet another deadly overdose - realization hit him. He had to join Voldemort! He would understand him. He would take him in... They'd be like father and son, killing all the people who'd been mean to Harry - Dumbledore, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Bellatrix...

Harry/Ron romance/friendship. Rated T due to young love. 'Take my hand, Harry.' 'But.. Your hands are so sweaty!' Ron scowled and was about to make a smartass reply when he found that he couldn't quite find the ability to speech, + he was blushing. He cursed himself. Why did this always happen when he was with Harry? And sometimes, at night, he would find himself dreaming of Harry and they would be doing grown-up stuff together and when he woke up Won-Won would be all stiff and sticky! What was going on?

Roberto Calamiscatio/Zenella Vavidola romance/adventure: 'Follow Roberto and Zenella as they dance into the mysterious, challenging, fascinating, enchanting world of Magic. Follow them as they befriend Harry Potter, defeat Voldemort, and, finally, becomes the world's supreme rulers. (There's sequels!)'

1/31/2011 #94
Lamia of the Dark

What happened to this thread? Wasn't this supposed to be choosing between three people/things, which one you'd save in a fire?

1/31/2011 #95

Well Lamia, it's taken a turn for the awful. As Creatress of the Thread, I Officially Don't Mind.

Care to participate? I'm sure you've got some awful ideas floating around! =D

1/31/2011 #96
Lamia of the Dark

No thanks, I prefer not to.

1/31/2011 #97

Your loss. It's quite fun.

Speaking of which: Azzie, I think your edit at the start is a very wise decision.

And Arg: No...I kinda want to see some of these myself. (I'm getting an Idea...)

1/31/2011 #98

HAHAHA! Dark!Harry, just because it sounds like it'd be SO bad. xD

You're in the barn, and it's burning down. Dumbledore appears and tells you the only way to escape alive is to have sex with one of the following people:

-Vernon Dursley, with whips and chains

-Hagrid, with Fang to make it a threesome

-Filch, with lots of cooing and lovey-doveyness

Who would you pick?

1/31/2011 #99

(Banglebee! How dare you 'change' subject - but I must say I'm a little grateful - I was starting to run out of inspiration. That Dark!Harry was originally supposed to be a Narceverus, but then I read a Dark!Harry fic, and it inspired me. 'Sides, each reply took me about 40-50 minutes to write.)

(Lamia? Hi, I just wanted to say that 'IMPERIO!' ...Haha, you let your guard down there, didn't you? Didn't you? I know you did. Anyway, you're in my control now, and I command you to write something sick and perverted in this thread. You know you want to.. )

Vernon Dursley. Cuz he's badass, sadistic and HAWT.

You're in the barn, and it's burning down. Dumbledore appears and tells you that the only way to escape is by doing one of the followings:

Quit FanFiction ENTIRELY,

Be Dobby's bitch for the rest of your life (Unless someone give you clothes, that is)

Kill yourself

2/1/2011 #100
Lamia of the Dark


I'll go with kill myself. Because the other two are just WRONG.

You're in the barn, and it's burning down. Dumbledore appears and tells you that the only way to escape is by doing one of the followings:

- run around like a chicken with its head cut off, screaming "Fire, fire, go away!"

- create pocket universe and stay inside it until the fire goes out

- something perverted

2/1/2011 #101

Hooray! Points to Argie for getting Lamia to participate! =D

(and I'm so so sosososo glad you're all enjoying this. Points once again to Arg for helping to instigate the very perverted turn of events.)

I'd pick something perverted, of course. Because really, if you're going to get out of the fire, at least have a bit of fun. ;)

You're in the barn and it's burning down. Umbridge appears and tells you the only way to escape is if you either

1. spend the rest of your life on call to perform sexual favours for Nagini

2. Put on a hot pink tutu and a feather boa and strip for Umbridge right there (she will provide the tutu and boa)

or 3. Videotape Fred and George gettin' it on. (And by videotape, she means you have to watch)

2/1/2011 #102
Lamia of the Dark

I choose number 1!

You're in the barn and it's burning down. Aragog appears and tells you the only way out is if you either:

- agree to let Aragog eat you if he helps you escape

- agree to let Aragog's daughter lay her eggs in you if he helps you escape

- agree to have have a giant-spider-orgy with him and all his descendants if he helps you escape

2/1/2011 #103

(I get points? Yay! House Cup, here Icome!)

OMG.. You can't be serious...

But if I have to, then... Spider-orgy. 'Least then I'd get (in)famous in the Wizarding World.

Although the trauma of it would leave me suicidal.

You're in the barn and Colin appears. He tells you that if you want him to take you out, you've got to do one of the three...

1, have sex with his camera

2, polly-juice yourself into him and seduce Harry Potter

3, shag his brother, Dennis

2/1/2011 #104

(I'm so proud of myself for starting a new trend. :D I'm so cool...)

Seduce Harry! Oh, how much fun that would be. xD xD xD (I would actually die. Harry is probably the LAST person I'd seduce in Harry Potter.)

You're in the barn and Voldemort appears. If you don't pick one of these, not only will be you burn to death in the barn, but he'll crucio you the whole damn time:

a) Give him a blowjob every night

b) Polyjuice into Snape and give him a blowjob every night

c) Polyjuice into Snape and go seduce Bellatrix so he can watch for his own amusement

2/1/2011 #105

(I can see the modesty beaming through the letters in your reply.)

Give Voldemort a blowjob every night. Because the other options would give me greasy hair.

You're in the barn, and Hagrid appears. He tells you that if you don't do one of the following three, he'll set the barn on fire.

1, have sex with him (Hagrid)

2, have threesome with Fang and Fluffy

3, have sex with Grawp.

2/1/2011 #106

(Do I detect... sarcasm?)

Threesome ftw. Who doesn't like fuzzy sex with dogs?

You're on the roof of the barn, gazing at the stars. J.K. Rowling appears next to you and tells you she'll shove you off the roof unless you do one of the following:

1) Every time you get the urge to read Harry Potter, only Twilight books will be available

2) You can read Harry Potter, but Bellatrix will never exist in the books

3) Bellatrix's character gets changed to a blonde, bouncy death eater who loses her wand all the time and giggles uncontrollably every time Voldemort starts talking

2/1/2011 #107

(I'm at school right now and supposed to work on a New York brochure, but WHO THE HELL CARES, THIS THREAD IS AWESOME!)

(Yes. You do. I'm using heavy sarcasm. Please not how there are no sarcasm in this reply.)

I choose option one - No-one said I had to read the books - I can burn them!

You're in the barn and it's burning down when Harry appears next to you and tells you that he'll not only help you escape, but also aid the bad guys in the war from now on if you do one of the following,

1) Kill Bellatrix

2) Join DA

3) Join the Golden Trio

2/2/2011 #108

Join the Golden Trio, just so that I can mess up with them :D (and they won't be a Trio anymore so they won't sound that dumb. Hehe)

I totally approve of the thread's new direction ;) and woop woop for Lamia participating! (high fives Ellen and Lamia)

You're in the barn and it's burning down when Lily Luna Potter appears next to you and tells you that she'll save you if you accept to do one of the following:

- write nothing but next-gen for the rest of your life

- write nothing but Golden Trio fics for the rest of your life

- write nothing but fics in which Bella is senselessly crazy with no character insight whatsoever and ends up dying anyway for the rest of your life

2/2/2011 #109

Next gen clearly. Scorpius looks like his Daddy =)

You're in the barn with a gun and Stephanie Meyer appears wearing a bullet proof vest. She says she'll take off the vest if you:

1) Swap the characters of Cedric and Edward

2) Swap the characters of Bella and Bella

3) Perform various degrading sexual acts on her screaming "Twilight is my life!" as she orgasms

2/2/2011 #110

OMG... You're the most evil of us all!

Which is saying quite a lot.

In any case, 1. Cuz the other two are thy Epitome of Horror.

You're in a dark room when Dumbledore appears. He tells you that he will give you a strip tease AND a lapdance if you don't do any of the following:

1, Join the Order of the Phoenix and fight the Death Eaters - extra bonus if you kill Bellatrix!

2, Give every member of the Hogwarts staff AND every member of the Order a blowjob EVERY NIGHT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,

3, Become professor Binns' apprentice - you'll have to endure all of his lessons.

2/2/2011 #111
Lamia of the Dark

I choose none of the above, just for the lolz of seeing Dumbledore carry out his threat!

Barn is burning down, Kreacher appears and will save you but only if you do one of the following:

- you kill Harry and become Kreacher's new master

- eat a box of maggots (which Kreacher has oh-so-helpfully thought to bring along with him)

- [censored]

2/2/2011 #112

I choose 3. Cuz it's awesome.

You've just eaten a poisoned drink, you're dying, when Snape appears and tells you that he'll give you the antidote if you do him any of the following 'services',

1: Censored.

2: Censored.

3: Censored.

(Lamia - you're my source of inspiration!)

2/2/2011 #113
Lamia of the Dark

Um... Um... All the answered are censored. I don't feel safe answering this question.

2/2/2011 #114

Don't worry - options 1, 2, 3 are the ones you are to watch out for.

2/2/2011 #115

Oh god Arg, I laughed so hard at that. You're a perverted genius. (And Cathy, you're just plain evil)

Arg, I pick number two. Will you reveal what it is I just picked?

You're in a burning barn and I in all my sexiness appear before you. Unfortunately, that's just a stress hallucination. A few minutes later, Harry Apparates in. If you ever want to escape, he says you must do one of the following:

1. Eat ten pounds of earwax flavoured Bertie Bott's Beans

2. Have a threesome with him and Ron.

3. Become Hermione's kinky sex slave.

2/2/2011 #116

(Am I the only one in this forum who is a Harry-Potter-every-character lover? I don't mind the golden trio, like Dumbledore, and think the DA is pretty cool.)

Become Hermione's sex slave. Hot damn.

You accidentally Apparate into a barn because you're new at this and when you tried to say "porn" in your description of the location you wanted to go, you ended up in a barn. Sucks for you. There's a spell keeping you from Apparating out, but if you do one of the following, the spell will be lifted:

1. Have a threesome with J.K Rowling and Stephenie Meyer

2. Have a threesome with Dumbledore and Molly Weasley

3. Have one on one with Bellatrix, but you'll never be able to have sex again

2/2/2011 #117

(Zeda, trust me when I say that you're better off not knowing)

(LoL, Emma!)

Think I'll... have a go with Dumbledore and Molly Weasley. I'm too much of a Bellamort shipper to want to do her - 'sides, we're both straight, which is why the experience would have left the both of us traumatized for life.

You're chillin' out on a sunny beach when a burning barn starts chasing you. Suddenly, an obnoxious voice is heard, and upon recovering from the first shock and horror that came with hearing it, you manage to hear what it say - ' survive, you'll have to (Is it just your imagination, or does it have a Betelgeuse accent?) do one of the three (Yep. Definitely Betelgeuse.) options below:

1. Drink permanent polly-juice, not knowing who you might end up as (OMG, I'm a total Bellatrix look-a-like! Now I can, like, totally walk into Bellatrix forum and make all the crazy chicks there go, like, WILD!)

2. Drink amortentia, not knowing who you'll fall in love with (OMG Voldemort, I wuw you! *Chases*)

3. Drink life-lasting veritaserum, not knowing exactly how many humiliating secrets you'll reveal (...also, I've been obsessed with a fictional character for years, she's really awesome, she's obsessed with this other fictional character who's also pretty awesome but not as awesome as her, I'm also pretty obsessed with her family, her allies, her enemies....)

(EDIT: Sorry about the frequent use of the word 'OMG' - I've gotten addicted to it, see. Hopefully, though, it'll be gone in a month or so.)

2/3/2011 . Edited 1/31/2012 #118

(Welcome, Sara, to this amazingly awesome thread of pervertedness! We're so glad you decided to delve into the dark pits of the nauseating, sick, twisted forumthread Fire in the Barn!)

Dobby/Winky - I'm a diehard shipper. Seriously, you can just see that they are made for each other....

You're shakin' it on a trendy club when an Fawkes struts over, looking incredibly hot. You start dancing with him, when he all of sudden bursts into fire! You're horrified, you don't know what to do, when Dumbledore suddenly appears, and he tells you that he knows how to save you from the flaming Fawkes, but if you want to be saved by him, you've got to do one of the below,

1. Participate in a threesome with him and Fawkes

2. Be Fawkes' bitch for the rest of your life

3. Be Dumbledore's bitch for the rest of your life

2/5/2011 #119

Lick Fang's feet! As much as I'd like to be witty and say one of the other two, the thought literally makes me sick to my stomach. Hagird on his own is right about at the bottom of people/things I want to have sex with. Though, the second option made me smile. =3

You're creeping around Malfoy manor because you're trying to catch a glimpse of Lucius's luscious locks. OH DAMN. A house elf catches you sneaking, and says he'll report you to Lucius unless you do one of the following:

1- Have a supa-hot orgy with Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. You know those three don't just hang around for shits and grins.

2- Have a threesome with Narcissa and Lucius. Lucius may be the man of your dreams, but a second person in the room might be a deal-breaker...

3- Screw that house elf. Get sent to Lucius, with the chance he'll let you off the hook and you get to see him. But there's also a big chance he'll banish you and you'll never get to see him again.

2/5/2011 #120
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