|not someone of importance
I'm annoyed and fed up for many reasons.
And I'm too tired to write them all out.
I like to read through the rant thread for the sole purpose of being able to go, "Alright, so I'm not the only person who feels fucked up in the world." But lately I've been in rare form, and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing.
Freshman year is almost over, and--holy fuck--has it been a ride. Mama always tells me that when push comes to shove, I tend to take the hard way instead of the easy way. (Oh come on mama, who doesn't like a little bit of drama?) Psch. She's right, of course. I learn by making a colossal mistake, tripping down, and spending a helluva lot of time trying to get myself back up. I feel like the biggest difference between high school and middle school is that, in middle school, you do more tripping and falling than learning. But there's just something about going through the wringer of freshman year that changes you.
I can honestly say that, now that the school year is a short *le gasp* nineteen days from being over, I've learned so much this year. Granted, I did do my fair share of tripping and falling, except this time, I didn't complain about it NEARLY as much ^.^
I don't really know why I'm going off on a rant about this. Maybe it's because I'm reading through all of these posts of people saying just how much they hated their year, and how they're waiting for a better break--and all I can see is me. Those rants were the definition of me. But, hey, this is a rant thread. It's a place where you can get out what you're feeling. So, his is what I'm feeling, and this is what I feel the need to share to whichever (unlucky) person is reading. I guess maybe my hope is that, by some lucky shot, some of you can get something out of my rant.
So, without any further long-ass intro, I learned the following this year. . .
. . . in regards to religion--it's still kind of touchy for me to talk about. I'm a good little Catholic girl, and I can get very conservative. But you know what? I'm young. There's no reason for me to be sticking a purity ring on my finger just yet--I don't even have a boyfriend for godssakes. But if there's one thing that has changed as far as religion goes, I've gone from being someone that prays only when they need something to being someone that prays out of tradition, simply because I've made it important to me. *is proud of self*
. . . in regards to family--I can't keep talking back to my mom. I just can't. I can't keep bitching about every little thing she asks me to do. Our relationship isn't perfect, and we are both very different people. But I'm starting to realize that in my eyes she's gone from being right 0% of the time to being right more than half the time. Being stubborn and bratty won't get me anywhere anymore; I'm too old to be acting like that, and I owe it to myself to make the last *gasp!* three years we have together something that'll be fond in my memory.
. . . in regards to friends--you attract bees with honey, not vinegar.
. . . in regards to boys--. . . oh shit. This is gonna be lonnnnnng.
I'm not going to lie, I started the year out as the absolute worst romantic to ever see the light of day. I had this whole archetype set up in my head that what I needed was a fairytale ending, and that I wouldn't be happy until I had a sweet, gorgeous boyfriend to hold my hand and pay for my movie tickets. Well, you know what? After seeing Mackenzie and Alec play the lovely-dovey perfect couple for months on end--and after seeing it crumble downhill in the span of a heartbreaking week--I realize that it really isn't what I want for myself.
I don't want to be the perfect, lovey-dovey girlfriend that would die alongside her boyfriend (sorry Juliet--Romeo seemed like a hunk). Goddamnit, I'm stronger and worth so much more than that. I am a strong, independent woman (*snickers* saying that feels funnyyyy . . . ) I don't need a boyfriend to feel good about myself and to feel complete. Hell, I'm too young to be in an functional relationship with someone, and that's not even what I want for myself in the first place. I'm never going to act or to be someone I'm not as a feeble attempt to hold on to a relationship that I think is love; I'm going to be me, and if the boy has a fucking problem with that, then they better move on and find someone else.
. . . in regards to self-esteem. Track cured me. That's the shortened way to put it. My long ass, ranty monologue would be as follows: I'm never going to be perfect. No matter how much I work out and how pretty I may seem to everyone else, I'm always going to find something in myself that I won't like. I've learned that you just have to deal with the negative and learn to love yourself. You can complain about how much everyone else brings you down, but at the end of the day, hating yourself will always be your heaviest burden. I say it's time to lighten that load, no?
. . . in regards to school. Procrastination is short time joy and long time stress. But old habits die hard ;D
. . . in regards to track. "If you're not throwing up, you aren't running fast enough, Belza!" ~In the words of Kenzie
. . . in regards to High School. Calm the fuck down.
. . . and, in regards to life in general. "When life gives you lemons, you say, 'Oh, hey, I like lemons. You got anymore?'" ~Quote from the Pants book
My biggest advice to anyone out there who's entering high school, waiting to get out of the middle school hellhole, or just had a bad year in general would be to understand that you can wait for a better break all you want, but at the end of the day, that better break is YOU.
(I put that in italics for a reason. Not just because I felt like raping the italics key.)
God bless xx Reese6/5/2011 #602
Dear birds outside my window, it is 4:40 in the morning. I have only had three hours sleep. WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUTUP AND LEAVE ME SLEEP? //end capsrape.6/5/2011 #603
My throat hurts from all the smoke from the camping trip. Dx
And I have to write five reports.
Fuck finals. I'm going to nail this one. I need to. Or I'll end up working at McDonalds. D86/5/2011 #604
You can get an qualification equivalent to a GCSE (usually done in two years) if you do a certain ten day placement in McDonalds.
In other news, I am rather pissed off that I dropped my geography folder and two years worth of notes are now messed up. Not amused.6/6/2011 #605
Unfortunately, I live in South Korea, Cheese. We don't have GCSEs here. Dx6/6/2011 . Edited 6/6/2011 #606
Just because you eat like a bird, it doesn't mean that I do. Six slices of bread and a cake of instant noodles is not enough to last me one entire freaking day. Especially since I've been working, and not sitting around watching TV.
Christ. I hope V comes back soon; you and I are going to drive each other crazy with by Wednesday. :(
I. AM. FREAKING. STARVING.
*sulks*6/6/2011 . Edited 6/6/2011 #607
Unfortunately, I live in South Korea, Cheese. We don't have GCSEs here. Dx
*pats consolingly* Come to Britain! The land of rain, poshness (not really), General Certificates of Secondary Education and general awesomeness!
*shrugs* Yup, the qualification's only in the UK. But I'm not sure how useful it actually is though. *grins* And actually it's a BTEC award.
Dear British media,
Do we really need/want to hear more about Cheryl Cole and omgz iz she hired/fired from US X Factor??? Not really.6/6/2011 . Edited 6/6/2011 #608
Come to Britain
Nah, I heard that the weather is downright depressing. Besides, the British government defines broadband Internet as 2Mbps. xD6/6/2011 . Edited 6/6/2011 #609
It's not that depressing...
*looks out window* *is raining (again)*
Okay, maybe a little...
Heh. Most of us are supposed to have superfast broadband (over 24Mbps) by 2015. Not sure if that's actually going to happen though. We were all supposed to have 2Mbps by 2012 but that's been pushed forwards, I think.6/6/2011 #610
We've had 100Mbps in basically every household since the early 2000s. We're upgrading to 1Gbps the next year with massive government support. 8DD
The one good thing about living in South Korea is a massively condensed technology infrastructure. xDD
Sure, the teachers hit us, there are no jobs, we're bickering with Japan since the 1500s, the economy is crap, and the politicians are idiots, but I can't give up the broadband. Dx6/6/2011 . Edited 6/6/2011 #611
I guess that we need to redefine "superfast". The only place in the UK that I know has 100Mbps broadband is Milton Keynes.
*sighs* Oh well. Eh. Britain's a pretty decent place to live in, generally. Healthcare's okay, weather's not that bad, 'specially in the South East, economy's decent. Though education's not too good, we're well bad losers *coughfaliedworldcupbidcough* and I have the raised fees when (hopefully) I go to uni. Yay.6/6/2011 #612
I just stubbed my toe and I think it hurt worse than when I fell off my bike once upon a time. x_x6/6/2011 #613
|not someone of importance
I found a box of chocolates.
All the nice ones were eaten.6/7/2011 #614
Dear British media, Do we really need/want to hear more about Cheryl Cole and omgz iz she hired/fired from US X Factor??? Not really.
I don't want to revise fifteen bloody poems for a stupid GCSE exam. *whine*6/7/2011 #615
I'm not that much of a pain, I swear. I'm trying my best not to be one. D8
Jeez. You're so damn touchy these days.6/7/2011 #616
|Clockwork of Time
.6/7/2011 . Edited 9/25/2012 #617
I don't want to revise fifteen bloody poems for a stupid GCSE exam. *whine*
*empathises* Been there, done that. And I didn't even get a frigging T-shirt. Just an achy hand.
If you're doing the same/similar syllabus that I did (past tense! Yay! :D), the fact that we only needed to use two poems out of sixteen in the exam really annoyed me. :/
Aye, for England, you should try Scotland. It was hailing earlier on. Hailing.
Did you know that Snowdonia in Wales is actually the wettest place in the UK? And London's weather is supposedly relatively mild compared to other places in the UK because it's in the south east and rainfall is concentrated in the east/north east and mountainous areas due to orographic rainfall...
Ahem. Guess whose been doing geography revision.
Heh. Went to Scotland for a week last summer. Rained most of the time. But I did get lots of pretty photos of rainbows. :D And I climbed a mountain listening to Eminem.
Four years free for those in Scotland :3 Just a slight advantage.
Uh...under-eighteens get free bus (and tram) travel in London? Dammit. *can't think of anything good*
Bah. And you get free prescriptions too. (Alongside the rest of the UK. Apart from England.)6/7/2011 #618
I spent a half hour emailing my teacher, putting loads of thought into it.
And he responded in a sentence.6/7/2011 #619
I viscerally hate some people right now. I wish they'd leave me alone...6/10/2011 #620
Peter, you should come visit me and we can rant about how much people SUCK.6/10/2011 #621
I was talking to someone earlier and they got pissed at me for saying something that they misunderstood. *o*
Oh what the heck. I don't care. Not worth my time, woman!6/10/2011 #622
I. FUCKING. HATE. EXAMS.
|Clockwork of Time
.6/10/2011 . Edited 9/25/2012 #624
What is it with all the ruddy green lanterns? The ability to create anything they imagine, and all they make are force fields and green blobs to slam things with. Who do you think you are, the Invisible Woman?
Also, are there any female Green Lanterns? Or are the Space Corps sexist that way?6/11/2011 #625
|we're all squares here
I woke up this morning, all excited, because today is Saturday and Saturdays are Doctor Who days.
But then I remembered that Doctor Who's gone until August. What is my life? D:6/11/2011 #626
I'm pretty sure I flashed everyone in my lane in the swimming pool -- that is, the ridiculously short swimming pool with little kids crowding in everyone and extra-chlorinated water and too much heat for 7 in the evening.
I hate little kids. No offense to anyone who is one, of course.
...*looks around suspiciously*6/17/2011 #627
...*looks around suspiciously*
WHO WHAT WHERE?6/17/2011 #628
*shudders* Little kids are like mirrors. Proximity/contemplation to either one gives me those creeper things.
Mirrors, mirrors, mirrors...
|the tiniest pyre
//6/17/2011 . Edited 3/27/2014 #630
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