Xander: "I'm a man, and I've got a tool."
Dawn, Willow and Tara: "...."
Xander: "Tools. You know. In my tool box.'
--Bargaining, BtVS 6.14/30/2011 #61
If you do not go out there and die for something, I will kill you for nothing.
Donde esta la robota?
One more comment like that and I will wrap you in a tortilla and eat you as a snack! Maybe with some pico de gallo!
Ay, Dia de los muertos!
He sleeps in a bed of fire... when he cuts an onion, the onion cries!
Que pasa, you piece of shit?
I have the mustache now!
We did such tough things together... remember when you taught me calculus? Calculus was tough.
Get your zappers and set the to pew! Pew pew pew!
-All spoken by the BAMF Lt. Taz, played by Lauren Lopez.5/1/2011 #62
WILLOW: Nobody's changing their minds. Period.
XANDER: Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group?
ANYA: You did.
TARA: You said Willow should be boss.
ANYA: And then you said "let's vote," and it was unanimous...
TARA: ...and then you made her this little plaque, that said "Boss of Us," you put little sparkles on it...
XANDER: Validpoints, all.
--Bargaining, pt. 1 (btvs 6x1)5/5/2011 . Edited 5/5/2011 #63
"You're such a-- you fucking-- you-- go fuck a hole!"
"Everyone thinks she's a bitch, but she's actually really nice. Except for when she's being a bitch."
~My friend (about me)
"Don't be drag, just queen... uh... uh... I was born this way, baby!"
~my five-year-old brother5/5/2011 #64
"'Pedestrian rage' just doesn't work." - My mother5/5/2011 #65
"It's about destroying the status quo, because the status is not quo. The world is a mess and I just need to... rule it." -Dr. Horrible5/7/2011 #66
"I meant what I said in my earlier posts. However, I'm willing to state anew on the forum and pretend it never happened."
"Never You mind but that works just about as well as Banning me."
Me and Tallz: The Great Big Argument from Warriors.
(Sadly, that poor forum shut down.)5/7/2011 #67
"Earth to Earth, Ashes to Ashes, In sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, may the force be with you, because you're worth it!"
"I've given it cheese and bread for its journey to Heaven, or at least if it goes to Hell it'll have cheese on toast."
"They can fly down your throat and turn your heart into a pumpkin then your blood stops running and then you die." (Karen on fairies)
"What are you watching?" " It's Michael McIntyre." "Why's the sound down?" "...it's Michael McIntyre."
"I can smell success in my sweat." "Karen, I've told you. The Apprentice is not a suitable show for seven year olds."
XD Gotta love Outnumbered. ♥5/7/2011 . Edited 5/7/2011 #68
"Why can't you be dealing drugs like normal people?"
"I'm thinking of having an affair with your wife! Oh, you know what, I just did!"
"No, freak show! She's fictional!"
-Joey and Chandler, FRIENDS, after Joey creates a fake!family to get him to feel more accepted at his new job.
"Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian."
"Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it."
-Ross and his ex-wife'snewwife Susan, FRIENDS again. I adore this show.5/8/2011 #70
|escape artist's son
"When you can't win a fight, correct their grammar instead"5/8/2011 #71
I'll make sure to keep my distance, say I love you when you're not listening...
How the hell does a broken heart get back together when it's torn apart?
I wish it wasn't always my fault, the finger you're pointing has knocked me off my knees
Don't count the miles, count the I love you's.
-- Christina Perri (goddess of all things supermegafoxyawesomehot)5/8/2011 . Edited 5/8/2011 #72
|escape artist's son
"Well, I presume I shall have to explain. (My, children these days. Do they know nothing? Gah. I blame reality TV. Watching that stuff rots your brain.)
You see, having a frown on one's face often means that one is partaking in the action of thinking. But for some reason unknown to anyone, apart from the omnipresent being that created the universe (and possibly Google), deeply ingrained in human subconscious, alongside the understanding that the English are terribly polite and drink tea, vampires are not capable of sparkling, and crocs are the ugliest invention ever to have walked the face of the Earth, is the belief that Aphrodite's children do not think." ~Oh, Look, It's Another Truth or Dare Fic5/8/2011 #73
"The Meaning of Life is Life itself."
"Either that or Facebook..."
-My friend, shortly after.-5/8/2011 . Edited 5/8/2011 #74
Dawn: Right. And Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with.
Tara: ...well, it sounded convincing when I thought it.
--Intervention5/8/2011 . Edited 5/8/2011 #75
I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like I just swallowed a kitten.
You can't spell random without Tangerine Swordfish Disco Car.
Death. Our nations no.1 Killer.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.5/9/2011 #76
"You're big on the gun thing, aren't you? Freud would say you're compensating." - The Doctor, Curse of the Black Spot5/9/2011 #77
"I knew this guy who had his legs turned into hamburger meat."
"Wouldn't that kill him? Y'know, from the blood loss? Tourniquets are kinda hard to put on the thighs."
"No, it was only his knees downward."
"Then do you know what happened to him?"
"He had to eat them."
"Cool! ... Wait, what's for lunch again?"
- me and my friend Mike. He was the one who started talking.5/9/2011 #78
"What have you two been doing in here this whole time?"
"Well, I'm gonna answer that question . . . with a meth lab."
"Michael! Out of the chief's office? Jesus, alright, this is--we can fix this, how much have you made, who have you sold it to, and how many murders are you allowed to commit in California? Is it . . . eight?"
~Dan O'Brien and Michael Swaim, Agents of Cracked, Season Two5/9/2011 #79
"Oh yeah? Well... Two camels in a tiny car. HA! I WIN!"5/10/2011 #80
|escape artist's son
"Facebook is the second most popular word that starts with a F and ends with a K..."5/10/2011 #81
possible spoilers for Glee 2x20, The Prom Queen, underneath
"I just assumed it'd be like at Carmel and the school would have some Asian kid take math and English and scientific for me."- Jesse St. James
Oh, Jesse. Least you're show-choir literate.5/10/2011 . Edited 5/10/2011 #82
Prom Queen spoilers below~
Once we get to New York I'm bailing to go live in some lesbian colony. Or Tribeca.
-The fabulous Santana BAMF Lopez.5/10/2011 #83
More Prom Queen Glee spam~
"Eat your heart out Kate Middleton." - Kurt Hummel5/10/2011 #84
Xander:No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact, but well muscled.
Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think thatyou might be.5/10/2011 #85
|escape artist's son
"I'd like to take over Glee Club"
"Would you like to captain the Titanic too?" ~Glee
"These kids feel invisible. That's why they all have a MySpace page" ~Glee
"I'm on my feet four hours a day, three days a week, and now you expect me to go home and cook dinner for myself?" ~Glee5/12/2011 #86
"Goshdarnit, woman, get a grip! You've died… a lot of times on my FS. Is my FS really that die-able on?"
"I gunna kiw mudbwuds, mummy!"
"Did you propose to Professor Shakor yet?"
"The overwhelming amount of capitals utilised indicates you are in a state of high excitement.
Either that, or you accidentally left your caps lock on."
"Urgh. Evil laughs are not my forte."5/12/2011 . Edited 5/12/2011 #87
"We get paid more depending on how mean we are. That's why I've spent the past twenty minutes just talking to you all and telling you horror stories about people who don't use the sander correctly. I'm aiming for a raise, you see."5/12/2011 #88
"I gunna kiw mudbwuds, mummy!"
Please link me. I beg of you. *finds little!Death Eaters adorable, despite JKR's racism metaphor*
"I'm a high schooler with duct tape and a permanent black marker. You don't want to fuck with me."5/12/2011 #89
Please link me. I beg of you.
As soon as Gwen and I finish it, I promise I will. It's Bellatrix Lestrange over the years. That's three-year-old!Bella.
*finds little!Death Eaters adorable, despite JKR's racism metaphor*
omgikr?! I love the little sociopaths.
"Hogwarts had very interesting ideas and solutions when it came to outer-species relationships.
She was slightly tempted.
She was very careful not to express this aloud."5/12/2011 . Edited 5/12/2011 #90
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