Literate Union
Sometimes our posts just like to pull a Houdini.
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Lord Kelvin

Get your awesome quotes here. You have 'em, we take 'em. Increase the amount of happiness in the universe by sharing things you said, they said, and the first person said right here.

Short things to make you grin, up to three per post, all sources are equal, awesome and acceptable as long as they have "these' lovelies.

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." Oscar Wilde

"It's best not to argue with a critic hater. They'll drag you down to their level of stupidity and beat you with experience." The Great Chaos

"Why guys always love me? Nothing's wrong with it... I just wanna get a chick!" Berkeli

3/9/2010 . Edited by Bitter Sea Light, 8/30/2011 #1
Cerulean City

omgikr??? wut a douch

^ Your argument is invalid.

3/9/2010 #2
Bitter Sea Light

'Beauty is an ecstasy; it is as simple as hunger. There is really nothing to be said about it. It is like the perfume of a rose: you can smell it and that is all.' --W. S. Maugham

'I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach.' --Upton Sinclair

'Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery. I quit such odious subjects as soon as I can.' ~Jane Austen

3/9/2010 #3
Ten ways to spoil dinner

"When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than a dream" ~Dr. Seuss (But no rhyming DX)

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe" ~Albert Einstein

"It is better to sit quiet and by thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt" ~ Abraham Lincoln

3/9/2010 #4
Ten ways to spoil dinner

"God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time." ~Robin Williams

"If I'm not back in five minutes.. wait longer" ~Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer" ~Woody Allen

3/9/2010 #5
Cerulean City

"This table smells like diaper but this is still the best sandwich I've ever had." --Hank Hill

3/9/2010 #6
Ten ways to spoil dinner

"Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams

"People say I'm indecisive, but I don't know about that." ~ George W Bush

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. " ~Ernest Hemingway

3/9/2010 #7
Bitter Sea Light

'In every port in the world, at least two Estonians can be found.' --Ernest Hemingway

3/9/2010 #8
Ten ways to spoil dinner

"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream." John Lennon

3/9/2010 #9

"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar." George Carlin

3/9/2010 #10

"And then you say..."

"Oh, right. 'Hey you, get your damn hands off her!' really think I should swear?"

"Yes, God damnit, George, you gotta swear."

- Back to the Future

3/9/2010 #11

"My 'Muerte'."

"Well, hi, Morty. My name is Jeff."

- Undercover Blue

3/9/2010 #12

Only in Rococo- elegant yet in bad taste, extravagant yet defiant and lawless- can I discover the meaning of life- Momoko, Shimotsuma monogatari

3/10/2010 #13
Elizabeth Burke

A conversation with my exboyfriend from last night.

Me: I don't like challenges.

Him: I consider that a waste of your intelligence.

Me: I am honored you can still find me intelligent.

Him: I can even if you reverted to horrible American spelling. :p

Me: I had to. It does not sound intelligent to say, 'I write in British English to honor my exboyfriend'. In fact it sounds downright deranged. Now if someone were to correct the lack of an English boyfriend I could start up again ;).

3/11/2010 #14

"I believe sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy."

Steve Martin

3/11/2010 #15

"A man was mugged and lay bleeding to death by the side of the road. A social worker passed by and said, "Tell me the name of the person who did this to you. He needs help immediately."

Murray Watts

3/11/2010 . Edited 3/11/2010 #16
Corrupted Lament

"It's like glitter to my punctuation. 8O"-Star

"Sparkles need to really stop raping the grammar. D: They're like... crack to the grammar."-Chien

"My grammar... It... It was raped by sparkles. DD8"-Kalt

3/11/2010 #17
Corrupted Lament

"It's like they have some kind of ass-button"- George Carlin

3/11/2010 #18
Exile Mean Opiate

'Life's a bitch -- accept the fact or be bitchier.' --Me

'Glitches are bitches.' --Ten

3/11/2010 #19
Ten ways to spoil dinner

"Good effort, but I'm the patty cake champion." Nappa ~ DBZ abridged series.

3/11/2010 #20
Bitter Sea Light


Post two: Caps Lock jokes are awesome.

--John Doe conversing with me

3/13/2010 . Edited 3/13/2010 #21
Elodie the Scribe

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

-Inigo Montoya, from The Princess Bride

3/13/2010 #22

"That word you keep using...I do not think it means what you think it means."

Inigo Montoya

3/13/2010 #23
Bitter Sea Light

'I am a chameleon, I am a chameleon, I am a chameleon...' Ash, Pokémon: the Abridged Series (ep. 4)

3/13/2010 #24
Bitter Sea Light

'You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh -- it's as simple as that.' --Jay Leno

3/14/2010 #25
Bitter Sea Light
'Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.' --Doug Larson
3/14/2010 #26
Bitter Sea Light

'Pray, what are you laughing at?' inquired the Rocket. 'I am not laughing.'

'I'm laughing because I'm happy,' replied the Cracker.

'That is a very selfish reason,' said the Rocket angrily. 'What right have you to be happy? You should be thinking about others. In fact, you should be thinking about me. I am always thinking about myself and I expect everybody else to do the same. That is what is called sympathy. It is a beautiful virtue and I possess it in a high degree. [---] Really, when I begin to reflect the importance of my position, I am almost moved to tears.'

--Oscar Wilde, The Remarkable Rocket

3/14/2010 #27
Bitter Sea Light
'Antagonizing people when you don't have to is like casting your garbage on the waters. One day it may come floating back, smelling worse.' --Dick Francis
3/14/2010 #28
Bitter Sea Light

'Double the gun, double the fun.' --Serious Sam

3/14/2010 #29
Oscar Z Acosta


3/15/2010 #30
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