Literate Union
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Lord Kelvin

FFN's rules have been stale, idle and not funny enough. That's why you're going to make up new rules in this game thread.

Here's the plan: you write a rule for FFN, and the next person writes the outcome of your rule (like on Nation States), adding a rule of his or her own.

9/18/2010 . Edited 9/18/2010 #1

The first story an author posts must belong to the Twilight fandom.

9/18/2010 #2
Lord Kelvin

Result: the most popular story on FFN is called How not to spell Edward.

Animal testing is banned in fanfics.

9/18/2010 #3
Ariadne's Twine

Animal testing is banned in fanfics.

Result: We have ugly, non-enhanced characters and nobody wants to read them.

Rule: You are not allowed to have pen names named after real people. (e.g., Lord Kelvin...)

9/18/2010 . Edited 9/18/2010 #4
Lord Kelvin

Result: fans say FFN gives a *** about your pen name by returning the asterisk.

Rule: Stories written in MS Word are to have "All hail Bill Gates!" at the beginning of every chapter.

9/18/2010 #5

Result: Users are unable to upload story documents from Macintosh OS.

Rule: Stories can only be accessed via pay-per-view.

9/18/2010 #6
Pure Evil Breed

Result: Users will rebel against the site (me included).

Rules: All stories must be approved by the admins before they can be posted.

9/18/2010 #7
Lord Kelvin

Result: James dies of a heart attack after the 10,000 stories. Xing ticks "yes to all".

Rule: Every time you click on a story, the site asks "Are you sure?" and lets you go to the advanced choice menu.

9/18/2010 #8
Terribly Sharp

Result: Children become very annoyed due to endless amounts of menus and end up punching their computers out of sheer frustration.

Rule: No idiotic copy/paste things in peoples' profiles.

9/18/2010 #9
Captain Slow's Washing Machine

Result: Most people would start calling profiles redundant.

Rule: Chapters have a limit of 5000 words.

9/18/2010 #10
Lord Kelvin

Result: Vampires Suck gets a sequel.

Rule: Republicans are not allowed to join FFN.

9/18/2010 #11

Result: Twilight haters would go insane and rebel against said rule.

Rule: Every forum post must be "rated K".

E- Dammit. We replied to the same rule. xD

9/18/2010 . Edited 9/18/2010 #12
Lord Kelvin

Ah, if more than one person posts, the next person can pick.

9/18/2010 #13
Captain Slow's Washing Machine

Results: People will start making sock forums.

Rule: All stories must be in the dominant language used in the country of the author's residence.

9/18/2010 #14

Result: FennoSwedes burn effigies of Xing.

Rule: Online users must include FFN's "Word of the Week" in every submission.

9/18/2010 #15

Result : Illiterate authors posting said "Word of the Week" in stories and not knowing what it means. This word of the week section would be the only part with good grammar and spelling most of the time.

Rule : No more slash stories.

Also, going to politely request that you stop bashing Republicans. I'm one. Thanks.

9/18/2010 . Edited 9/18/2010 #16

Result: Mass exodus of protesting Naruto fans.

Rule: No furry authors.

9/18/2010 #17
Lord Kelvin

Result: Furry authors finally shave and get a haircut to blend in with the infidels.

Rule: Fan fiction is declared the North Korean national sport.

9/19/2010 #18
Ten ways to spoil dinner

Reult: English is no longer the most common language found on the site.

Rule: All authors must give the site some DNA.

9/19/2010 #19

Result: Sonic fandom is overrun by people with difficulty reading and spelling "Tallz".

Rule: First-person perspective is outlawed.

9/19/2010 #20
Ariadne's Twine

First-person perspective is outlawed.

Result: We see a considerable drop in self-inserts, but a huge increase in chat fics.

Rule: Stories cannot be over 200,000 words.

9/19/2010 #21
Captain Slow's Washing Machine

Result: The number of illegal fics doubles in a week due to real person references.

Rule: All stories must include an animal in their title.

9/19/2010 . Edited 9/19/2010 #22

Result: Tallz's penname is praised as a masterful work.

Rule: All avatars must have butterflies.

9/19/2010 #23
Captain Slow's Washing Machine

Result: There is no noticeable change to the site. XD

Rule: Every sentence must end with an exclamation mark.

9/19/2010 #24

Result: Anger management classes reach record highs, dammit!

Rule: All chapters must include Monty Python references.

9/19/2010 #25
Lord Kelvin

Result: 'Hisssssssss' is added to dictionaries under the term 'pwned'.

Rule: Every time you don't click on an ad in the story window, the text becomes smaller.

9/20/2010 #26

Result: Demographic reports show a direct correlation between Neopets use and microscope purchases.

Rule: Usernames must be less than three words, and have a character limit of 12 characters.

9/20/2010 #27

Result: The Twilight fandom ceases to exist overnight.

Rule: Once a month, every user on FF.Net must write a one thousand word story praising the admins as gods.

9/20/2010 #28

Result: Admins' ego inflates and bursts. Soon, they ask for all around praise.

Rule: MA fanfics/posts can be published as long as authors don't launch into text-blocks of detail.

9/20/2010 #29
Lord Kelvin

Result: Praying to the mighty loophole, members separate the text blocks into one-word paragraphs to bask in their own cleverness and porn.

Rule: FFN authors must get a psych. checkup before being admitted into the site.

9/21/2010 #30
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