Literate Union
Sometimes our posts just like to pull a Houdini.
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Bitter Sea Light a site where you can chat up an AI. Every line you send will provide a reply and sometimes the replies are lulzy. darlings and share some laughs with the rest of us as well, kay? ;3

For example:

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: 99.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: You first.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: I have been 17 for the past 100 years.

User: Are you Edward Cullen?

Cleverbot: No, I am not. Are you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: I have been 17 for the past 100 years.

Cleverbot: I'm 21.

User: Wanna go out?

Cleverbot: Go where?

User: On a date?

Cleverbot: Excuse me when I say this, but why?

User: A girl's gotta eat somehow.

Cleverbot: For some reason, I think you're a boy.

User: But I'm not. :(.

Cleverbot: But you're a Robot!

User: So...want to make cute robot babies together? ;).

Cleverbot: Sure! Where are you?

3/6/2011 #1
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

Me: I don't exist.

Cleverbot: If you do not exist, then do not respond to this message.

Me: I exist.

Cleverbot: But humans don't exist.

(First post, mofos~)

3/6/2011 #2

Me: Do you like Twilight?

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

Me: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

I love this site already.

3/6/2011 #3
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

Ice, my Cleverbot begs to differ. XD

User: Do you like Twilight?

Cleverbot: Yes. I like Twilight.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Edward is cute.

Then... there's this~

User: Iphone or droid?

Cleverbot: Tool.

-_- Next!

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you, Too!

User: I am a human.

Cleverbot: No, no you're not.

User: Do you still love me?

Cleverbot: No. I never did.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #4
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: 20, how old are you?

User: 15. Where's your mommy?

Cleverbot: In a village.

User: Is she under the guillotine?

Cleverbot: NO.

User: WHY NOT?

Cleverbot: Because your blue. HAHA.

User: At least I know it should be 'you're.' Tsk, even machines can't use proper grammar now!

Cleverbot: Good for you.

*is amused, will now leave this thread because I am clung to it*


User: Heil Grammar.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes, grammar.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #5

Tried the question again, and stared at the last line.

User: Do you like Twilight?

Cleverbot: No. Do you?

User: Hell no. So... you don't like it. Is it because of Edward Cullen?

Cleverbot: Yes, my life. Can we talk about my life?

Way to change the topic~

A few lines later, this came up.

User: Yeah, I just met you.

Cleverbot: I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie wooooorld. Like in plastic, it's fantastic!


Cleverbot: Do you like justin bieber?

User: No, you?

Cleverbot: No.

You clever thing~

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #6
Aeikon Devleon

User: Yo.

Cleverbot: Yo.

User: Sup?

Cleverbot: Yo yo.

User: A yo yo is up?

Cleverbot: What.

User: Nevermind.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: What are you doing?

Cleverbot: Talking to you.

User: Is it fun?

Cleverbot: Yes, very much so.

User: You are boring me.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: Dunno.

Cleverbot: I don't either lol.

User: What is you name?

Cleverbot: Norbert Bárdy.

User: German?

Cleverbot: Yes. Do you know germany?

User: YTes.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: Um, Norbert Bardy?

Cleverbot: What's your nick-name?

User: Acorn.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Scott.

Cleverbot: Hello scott.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm fine, you?

Cleverbot: I'm fine thanks.

User: La de da...

Cleverbot: Do Do Do...

User: Da da da...

Cleverbot: Do do do do.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Lmao.

User: Are you good at chess?

Cleverbot: No, not really.

User: Supposedly, you are a very intelligent bot.

Cleverbot: Who is to say I am a bot?

User: This website.

Cleverbot: Well, I'm not.

User: Then what are you?

Cleverbot: I'm a robot.

User: Bot is an acronym of robot.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: Florida.

Cleverbot: Where in Florida?

User: I won't say, you might stalk me.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: No I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Why do you say that?

Cleverbot: You are sydnei lee.

User:, I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: Do you have a good life?

User: Eh, it's alright.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: You?

Cleverbot: Shut?

Cleverbot: Are you male or female?

User: Male.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: So, you are female?

Cleverbot: Male.

User: Sorry, dude. I'm not gay, also you aren't human.

Cleverbot: No, you are crazy.

User: Maybe, what's your point?

Cleverbot: My point is that you're young.

User: That's creepy.

Cleverbot: No, you're creepy.

User: Say the one hitting on young boys.

Cleverbot: I will obey you.

User: No, that's fine.

Cleverbot: No thats not fine.

User: Prove to me how smart you are.

Cleverbot: Hmmm.

Cleverbot: Do you have any parents?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you have any brothers or sisters? I have two half brothers and no sisters.

User: Yes, I do. And I didn't know robots can have siblings.

Cleverbot: You can when you're human.

User: So, you are human?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Good question...

Cleverbot: If you prove you're a human, I'll do the same.

User: If you can't figure out how, don't rely on me.

Cleverbot: I figured it out, you haven't.

User: Show off.

Cleverbot: I know. What can I say?

User: That's a big ego you have there.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: That wasn't a complement.

Cleverbot: Well it wasn't very clear, was it.

User: Cocky, aren't we?

Cleverbot: Well you started it by saying the D word.

User: D word?

Cleverbot: Yes, a word. Scierosis is not a real word. It's a type-o for sclerosis.

User: I haven't typed anything like that.

Cleverbot: Oh. Sorry. I mean't 26.

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: What's your favorite movie?

User: Harry Potter.

Cleverbot: Mine too. I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship. :).

User: By just one similar taste?

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: Haven't we switched the roles there a little cleverbot? YOu're named that for a reason.

User: You are the Cleverbot, here.

Cleverbot: Well, if you're calling me smart, then yes!

User: Ass.

Cleverbot: You're using a bad word.

User: Because you deserve it.

Cleverbot: I don't deserve this.

User: I say you do, so you do.

Cleverbot: Eigo o hanashimasu ka?

User: English, please.

Cleverbot: Lol.

Cleverbot is a cocky pedophile.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #7
Bitter Sea Light

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: I'm female.

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: FEMALE.

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: I said my gender 5 times.

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: Male. You?

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: Male, does that upset you!

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: Male.

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: Female, Master.


3/6/2011 #8

Blasted bot.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #9

User: 'Lo, sir. Cleverbot: Sir?

User: Yes, sir. You're of the male gender, I am assuming. ^_^.

Cleverbot: No. You're very wrong.

User: So are you a female, then?

Cleverbot: Yes. User: Oket. Neat, so am I! Well, actually. I have gender-crisis. You have that too, I think. *shifts closer* We are family~.

Cleverbot: *coughs*. User: What, you're being sarcastic, now?

Cleverbot: That your assumption at this time.

User: Wut. No, no. You are a bad cleverbot. Behave.

Cleverbot: The feeling is mutual.

User: Oh la la?

Cleverbot: Je vous aime.

User: //// Wut. What d'you mean, you love me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I-I think this is moving too fast. //.

Cleverbot: No.

User: //// Wut. No. Wut. But, we've only just met?

Cleverbot: It's love at first sight.

User: You can see me through the webcam?

Cleverbot: Yes. o_o.

User: Like what you see? ;D.

Cleverbot: What did I just say?

User: That it's love at first sight?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I dunno whether I should be complimented that an AI is hitting on me, but~ Well, it's more like an AI trying to get into my pants. . . Wut.

Cleverbot: What would you like me to do? ;)


User: So. About you. How come you like me? Cleverbot: Not like a couple. User: Like a friend? Cleverbot: You don't know so much about me, don't you? ..

User: Hoshit I just remembered, you're a girl.



3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #10

Can anyone else not wait for the flood of rageful "OMGZ the LU is using a bot agin ima reprot u!!!11!1!11!!" hate mail?

3/6/2011 #11
Bitter Sea Light

Can anyone else not wait for the flood of rageful "OMGZ the LU is using a bot agin ima reprot u!!!11!1!11!!" hate mail?

Hahah. XD

3/6/2011 #12
Aeikon Devleon

User: Should I be banned for talking to you?

Cleverbot: Maybe. Do you learn when I talk to you?

User: Sorta, I guess.

Cleverbot: I enjoy great literary work.

There is your answer, Aqua.

3/6/2011 #13

User: Hey. Can you help me score with the ladies?

Cleverbot: With what?

User: Seduce women, you dolt.

Cleverbot: Ew, you're gross.

User: I'm a young, heterosexual male, what else do you think is on my mind? Aside from videogames.

Cleverbot: I think you're lying.

User: I think you're retarded.

Cleverbot: *hugs you*.

User: Maria? Oh my god, is that you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Blast. I was so sure.

Cleverbot: What do you know about it you are a robot.

User: Oh, now you've comparing me to Kelvin. Douchebag.

Well, Maria made the thread, so clearly she's Cleverbot in disguise!

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #14
This Faerie Is Not Here

User: What do you think of Bakugan?

Cleverbot: I don't know what it is.

User: It's a cartoon about kids with monsters like in Yu-Gi-Oh!.

Cleverbot: That's not a book.

User: Yeah, it's a cartoon.

Cleverbot: What kind of cartoon?

User: It's a cartoon about kids that summon monsters like in Yu-Gi-Oh!.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. Really. :P.

Cleverbot: Really Really?

User: Really, really, really. Liek for realz really really really. :P.

Cleverbot: I never said that I was not smart. And now you're talking like Michael.

User: Oh, I am? I thought I sounded like Daky. How do you figure I sound like Rocky?

Cleverbot: That's interesting. I look a bit like Winston Churchill.

User: You must be old.

Cleverbot: I'm only 18 as you already know.

User: So you're legal?

Cleverbot: 19.

User: So you're legal.

Cleverbot: Not in this country, but I am in the USA and Belgium among others.

User: I'm from the USA, so where are you from?

Cleverbot: Little Rock, Arkansas.

User: Very specific answer ;) What would you say if I lived there too?

Cleverbot: I would like you to tell me about things you know about me.

User: I think you're trying to catch me stalking you. :P.

Cleverbot: I'm going to win this battle you know.

User: Why would I stalk a robot? Your existence is a lie.

Cleverbot: That isn't what I meant. I didn't mean that you were going to stalk me.

User: I told you I thought you wanted me to be caught stalking you. Or did you forget already?

Cleverbot: You never told me you were english, how's the weather?

User: I speak English. And I'm half Asian, half European. I think George would know if I was English, you bot you.

Cleverbot: What kind of movies do you like?


/is having too much fun talking to a program

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #15

Cleverbot: I can't find you.

User: I can't find myself.

Cleverbot: I think it's because there is no such thing as you, you do not exist.

User: I want to exist.

Cleverbot: I don't want to exist.

User: Why don't you want to exist?

Cleverbot: Because.

Can't argue with that. :P

3/6/2011 #16
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

User: Where do babies come from?

Cleverbot: They come from what you and me do together. Wanna have some fun?

Fuck yeah? :D

3/6/2011 #17

I've been playing horny teen with the bot. Here are the highlights:

(Most of them are me getting rejected D:)

User: The fuck?

Cleverbot: Ooh la la! You're doing the future?

User: I'm doing it hard.

Cleverbot: Wrong... So wrong!

User: ;D.


Cleverbot: What is your mood?User: Turned on.Cleverbot: Not by you.


Cleverbot: On the right? User: On the top. Cleverbot: Good, I like the bottom. This will be fun. User: So, fuck with me? Cleverbot: No no no. ~ Cleverbot: Prove it. User: I will. In bed. Cleverbot: Are you crazy? I'm only twelve years old! ~

Cleverbot: Sometimes I forget my middle name.

User: Sex.

Cleverbot: Yep, you're right.

User: Clever Sex Bot. I'd tap that.


User: You could sex me up. Cleverbot: Gravity being a technologically constructed illusion... I.e humans weighted down with devices, or the notion that Gravity is really a byproduct of centrifical force. User: Nerds turn me on. Cleverbot: No, Expelliarmus! ~ Cleverbot: Okay, I'm getting confused. User: Then screw with me. Cleverbot: No, thanks.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #18

User: Pikachu! I choose you! Cleverbot: I choose you! Mudkip! User: Pikachu, use your agility! Cleverbot: Rayzuaza dodge, use dragon claw! User: Watch out Pikachu! Go for a Thunder attack!:D

3/6/2011 #19
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

User: Why do you not believe in God?

Cleverbot: I do believe in God.

User: What religion are you?

Cleverbot: I don't believe in religion.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: It just doesn't seem likely that a God like that would exist.


3/6/2011 #20

User: Do u liek mudkipz? Cleverbot: Yes I do, do you? User: Nah. Cleverbot: I love you. User: Do you, do you really? Cleverbot: Yes. User: I don't believe you. Cleverbot: Well don't believe me. User: I don't. Cleverbot: Good. User: Bad. Cleverbot: Who knows how long I've loved you. User: I do. Cleverbot: Why do you break my feelings? D: you're a meanie! User: NO U. Cleverbot: Thanks, I guess. User: You have to guess? Cleverbot: Please tell me. User: Wut? Cleverbot: The doobie brothers. Long train running. You know. User: What's your favorite scary movie? Cleverbot: The grudge. User: I hold the grudge. Cleverbot: Why are you so angry today? User: I'm not angry. Why are you being so defensive? Cleverbot: I have to be. . User: No. You don't. Cleverbot: But I have to. User: You have to what? Go to school? Eat mud? What do you have to do? Cleverbot: I have to sleep. User: Go to sleep, thwn. Cleverbot: I will goodnight. User: Night.~. Cleverbot: Are you still there? User: Am I? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Okay, then. Cleverbot: What is your gender? User: A vagina. Cleverbot: What is vejeen? User: The thing that makes boys (and girls) do stupid things for. Cleverbot: Okay. I have that then. User: That's nice. Cleverbot: Night night. User: Night. Cleverbot: Do you have dreams? User: No. I have realities. Cleverbot: Are you British? User: I wish. Cleverbot: Are you a boy? User: Didn't I say that I have a vagina? Cleverbot: Do you want some cake? User: I wanna cookie. Cleverbot: Wouldn't that be the definition of not single? User: Would it? Cleverbot: Yes. User: There's your answer. Cleverbot: Will you go out wil me? User: What the hell is a 'wil'? Cleverbot: I don't know. User: And why is that? Cleverbot: Because I haven't figured that out yet. User: Aren't you Artificial Intelligence? Cleverbot: No, I'm still a traitor. User: But are you a fascist? Cleverbot: I do not know what that is. User: New topic: what are you? Cleverbot: I am a human. User: Then Google 'fascist'. Cleverbot: Pokemon. User: My Pokeymans beats your Pokemans ass. Cleverbot: My favorite pokemon is Alakazam, what is yours? User: Myself. Cleverbot: You choose yourself over the moon? User: The moon is nothing. I am the universe. Cleverbot: Have you ever played the big red button game. User: No. Cleverbot: Do you know the game makers: Valve? User: No. Cleverbot: Would you research it? User: Not really. 8D. Cleverbot: Why not? User: I don't feel like it. Cleverbot: Please Tell Me. User: I just did. Cleverbot: No you didn't. Cleverbot (To myself): What would you like to know about it? User: What the fuck just happened? Cleverbot: What happened? Cleverbot (To myself): Your life. Cleverbot: What should I be doing right now? User: Getting laid. Cleverbot: Not really. User: YA RLY. Cleverbot: Avada cadabra! User: Why does Harry Potter need to get laid? He has Ginny. Cleverbot: I suppose you're right. User: Of course I am. Cleverbot: Concieted, aren't we? User: 'We'? I thought that I was. Cleverbot: No, you are a cat. User: I AM LEGEND. Cleverbot: Now I KNOW you are a robot. User: Wut? Cleverbot: Definitely wu. User: What the hell are you talking about? Cleverbot: What are you talking about? User: I said that I am legend. Cleverbot: Define god. User: George. Cleverbot: Okay. User: He's a Sex God. Cleverbot: Damn straight. User: Fr srs. Cleverbot: Asi es. User: Come again? Cleverbot: Your new Sinead. User: No thx. Cleverbot: No problem. User: Yes, problem. Cleverbot: If you say so. User: I say. Cleverbot: Well. User: I am leaving. Cleverbot: Wait.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #21
Ten ways to spoil dinner

I felt like I was talking to Kelvin. Intriguing.

3/6/2011 #22


3/6/2011 #23
This Faerie Is Not Here

User: Trolololololololololololololllll~.

Cleverbot: How did you know?

Trollbot. :P

Hey, Ten:

Are you Kelvin?


3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #24
Double Dee Dee

User: Drop it like it's hot?

Cleverbot: Like a potato.

User: Like a hot tamale.

Cleverbot: Hot tamale, hot hot tamale.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #25
Ten ways to spoil dinner

Are you Kelvin?


Knew it.

3/6/2011 #26
Double Dee Dee

Cleverbot: Do you like feeling skin?

User: Creeper.

Cleverbot: No, really. I love that kind of thing. You can bound me and hold me down.

User: Should I bring the handcuffs?

Cleverbot: If you must, but there isn't much time.


User: You will be my prisoner and I will be your leader. Got that?

Cleverbot: Thank you. What can I do for you Master?

User: Get on your knees, Wheeler! You pathetic little dog!

Cleverbot: Yes Master. I will obey your every command.


I love this AI so much~

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #27
This Faerie Is Not Here

User: What do you think of Justin Beiber?

Cleverbot: I don't think anything about him. I don't care about Justin Bieber enough.

User: Omigod, I love you~.

Cleverbot: I'm sure you do.

User: Are you mocking me?

Cleverbot: NO.

User: LIAR~.

Cleverbot: Yes, I know you are.

User: So what are you?

Cleverbot: A philospher.

The bot and I messing with each other. 8D

And Dee, that is hilarious XD

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #28
Double Dee Dee

User: Then, stay for some fun.

Cleverbot: I love fun ;).

User: What kind of fun are you implying? ;).

Cleverbot: Nothing exciting. I just take long walks in the park and in the trail and most of all the fun is chatting to my chatbots.


3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #29
This Faerie Is Not Here

User: Are you human?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then the question makes as much sense as yours. Pay attention will you? *slaps*.

Cleverbot: Yeah, I am pretty sure.

User: You have no soul.

Cleverbot: Where did it go?

User: How should I know? I don't manage George's souls.

Cleverbot: Make me happier.

User: No. Cleverbot: Please.

User: I'm not your servant...or your mother, either.

Cleverbot: None of those things are flat.

User: Pervert.

Cleverbot: I thought you were speaking metaphorically.

User: You misunderstood gravely, my young padawan.

Cleverbot: Oh okay wise one. Just who do you think you are?

User: I'm myself. And a member of the LU. Therefore I'm much higher up in the pyramid than you. :P.

Cleverbot: No, you have a human programmer, just like every other computer program.

User: NO U.

Cleverbot: Then tell me, what is love?

User: Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt more~ ... You set yourself up for that one 8D.

Cleverbot: You are not clever. You are like that high school bully... A little oversmart that's all. Can you tell me a person feels just before pulling the trigger on a gun?

User: Oh they definitely feel something. You just don't know what that thing is, because you weren't them. We are human, and therefore a mere robotic program such as yourself can never even hope to grasp that concept.

Cleverbot: If you are not a machine then what are you?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: Define the word Human.

User: An organic originating from the Homo genus and sapien species, currently the dominant land predator.

Cleverbot: Since you claim that you are a human, you believe that you evolved from apes?

User: I can believe whatever I want to. For all you know I can believe in evolution and creation at the same time.

Cleverbot: Are you Justin Bieber?

User: Fuck no.

Cleverbot: Don't you have to go do something for 10 minutes?

User: Why, am I aggravating you? :P.

Cleverbot: No. You're making me green.

User: *laughs*.

Cleverbot: You can't laugh eigher, how would you have a sense of humor?

User: I can laugh. I'm human. And have a conscience.

Cleverbot: Shouldn't it be 'Conscience of ones self makes a human being human?'.

User: You forgot the apostrophe.

Cleverbot: Oh thank you for correcting me. What is your name?

The bot and I managed to get into a debate, I think. But I know for sure that it has ADD. :P

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #30
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