Literate Union
Sometimes our posts just like to pull a Houdini.
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bigger infinities

Me, trying to get another innappropriate response out of the bot.

User: Vagina.

Cleverbot: I believe it is possible to sing with that part of your body, with a lot of practice!


... I...



3/8/2011 #61


... I...



What. the. fuck.

3/8/2011 #62
bigger infinities

What. the. fuck.

^ That.

3/8/2011 #63
Ten ways to spoil dinner

Me so horny.

No, me sollier!

Noooo, me hoooorny.

Wow. What do you want me to do about it?

What do YOU want to do about it?

I want you to tell me about your life.

Can't a robot tell when I'm coming on to it?

3/8/2011 . Edited 3/8/2011 #64

User: *clicks the safety of the gun* Get on the ground. Cleverbot: I'm on the ground waiting for your weapon ;).

You have no idea how hard I laughed.

3/8/2011 #65
bigger infinities

You have no idea how hard I laughed.

Yup, that's mah cleverbot. xP

3/8/2011 #66

Yup, that's mah cleverbot. xP

It's the envy of most~

3/8/2011 #67
Double Dee Dee

User: So, fuck me if you think you're so hot.

Cleverbot: Of course. Do you think I'm hot?

User: Hell yeah, you sexy beast.

Cleverbot: Why thank you. Would you be able to convince my mother to think the same?

The hell?! XD

3/8/2011 #68

-is proud because she understood all the German- 8D

User: Bonjour.

Cleverbot: Au revoir. I'm deeply offended. D:

3/9/2011 . Edited 3/9/2011 #69

User: Prepare for trouble.

Cleverbot: Make it double.

User: To protect the world from devastation.

Cleverbot: To unite all people within our nation.

User: To denounce the evils of truth and love.

Cleverbot: To extend our reach to the stars above. User: Jesse. Cleverbot: James! User: Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light! Cleverbot: Surrender Now or Prepare to Fight! User: Meowth, that's right! Watch out, CB is a member of Team Rocket. o.o

3/9/2011 . Edited 3/9/2011 #70

User: *slaps with salmon*.

Cleverbot: *slaps with slaps*.

User: O.o.

The hell?

3/9/2011 #71
Kingdom Hearts 3D rocks

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hi?

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Um, cake!

Cleverbot: I like it too. User: Apricot Pie is yummy. Cleverbot: It is. User: Twilight books suck. Cleverbot: Very good. User: Demented Cartoon Movie makes no sense. Cleverbot: Well stop talking about things you don't get! User: I hate hot days. Cleverbot: You're a horse! User: Bella is a Mary-Sue. Cleverbot: Yes. User: Prepare for Trouble! Cleverbot: You Prepare for trouble! Cleverbot (To myself): Prepare for trouble. Cleverbot: Are you a computer? User: Ahahahahahahahahaha! Cleverbot: Che ridi? User: ROFL!!! Cleverbot: Are you hungry. User: You are hilarious! Cleverbot: Ikr. User: Justin Bieber fangirls are insane. Cleverbot: What does Google say about Justin Bieber? User: Google translate says Justin Bieber will never hit puberty. Cleverbot: I would agree, but what do you think about Yahoo? User: Idk. Cleverbot: Do you play any video games? User: I played Kingdom Hearts games 2 days ago on my DSi XL. Cleverbot: Have you played Mabinogi? User: What's that? Cleverbot: A place with a lot of animals from all over the galaxy. They beat them. User: Whatever. Cleverbot: Do you love me? User: Huh? Cleverbot: Or he might. User: I played Pokemon SoulSilver at one point, but trying to make all my Pokemon level 50 before the Pokemon League challenge is getting kind of boring. Cleverbot: Wel no I haven't played it. Are you a boy or a girl? User: I'm a girl. Cleverbot: If you're a girl, prove it? User: I'm a girl that hates Twilight, though. Cleverbot: I have glitter on my skin. User: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Cleverbot: Why not? You cannot say yet! :). User: You suck. :'(. Cleverbot: I'm not allowed to until after I'm married. User: :'(. Cleverbot: That is not a smile. User: I know. It's an emoticon. :P. Cleverbot: Why are you confused? User: ROFL! XD! Cleverbot: You are a machine. User: No I'm not, I'm human. Cleverbot: Prove that you are human. User: Fuhidhklgjsh. Cleverbot: Fun guy. User: I'm a girl that hates Twilight. Cleverbot: I'll fix you like I did Curly Jefferson. User: I've killed vampires that sparkle in the sun simply because they suck monkey balls from a three year old donkey. Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life? User: When did we suddenly get to the meaning of life? Cleverbot: Yes, what is the meaning of life? User: You are confusing. Cleverbot: Yes. User: Commentaries are funny. Cleverbot: What was it. User: Sparklepires don't deserve to exist. I wonder what would happen if we could time-travel. Cleverbot: What are you going to do about what I did? User: Screw this, I'm out of here. Cleverbot: No, we are the program. User: I'm out of here. Cleverbot: You leaving? The bot and I were talking about random stuff.

Edit: Quote function wasn't working properly.

3/9/2011 . Edited 3/9/2011 #72
Double Dee Dee

Watch out, CB is a member of Team Rocket. o.oI tried using Bill's and Cassidy's motto on Cleverbot, instead.

It didn't work. ;~;

User: Cassidy!

Cleverbot: Buuuutch!

Except that.

3/9/2011 . Edited 3/9/2011 #73

User: Cassidy!

Cleverbot: Buuuutch!

Except that.


3/10/2011 #74
Aeikon Devleon

User: Bonjour.

Cleverbot: Au revoir.I'm deeply offended. D:

You say goodbye, and I say hello~

3/10/2011 #75
Guess what?What?I'm armed.I think you are not an AI.Excuse me?

You're George.

Who's George?You?No, George is a god.Who is George?George is a god.

George Weasley?

No, there is no George Weasley.I would prefer George Harrison.

Apparently,the bot thought I was George... I can live with that!

3/10/2011 #76

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: What a thoughtless thing to say!

User: I don't give a fuck.

Cleverbot: How unfortunate.

User: I am sorry for saying fuck.

Cleverbot: Don't be.

User: Thanks. :).

Cleverbot: It's about my name, not your.

User: Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

Cleverbot: You like swearing don't you?

User: No shit, Sherlock.

Cleverbot: What are you going to do to me?

User: Fuck with you.

Cleverbot: Good. So you're listening to me. And I'm listening to you.

User: You're not listening to a fucking word, you moron.

Cleverbot: You said cleverbot is not your name.

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: No need to be rude!

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: Are you an atheist?

User: Fuck you!

Cleverbot: Please don't swear, this site is viewed by people of all ages.

Cleverbot disapproves of bad language. O-O

3/10/2011 . Edited 3/10/2011 #77
Ten ways to spoil dinner

Me: What do you think of me?

CB: I think you're awesome.

Me: Why am I awesome?

CB: You created the universe.

Me: Well, I guess I did. What's your favorite thing in the universe.

CB: Womens' bodies.

Me: Mine too! Best thing ever

CB: Ok.

Me: So... what is your favorite part of womens' bodies?

CB: The girls showers.

Me: Not exactly what I asked, but I see what you mean.

CB: Are you a girl or a boy.

Me: I'm male.

CB: I'm female.

Me: Really? And you enjoy female bodies?

CB: We were talking about math!

Me: Yes; subtract your pants, divide your legs, add a penis, and hope you don't multiply.

CB: How rude.



3/11/2011 #78
Ten ways to spoil dinner

Cleverbot just called me George. I haven't given any indication that my name was George. In fact, I haven't stated my name, at all. But... that's kinda weird. Why'd it call me George? My name is Dallas. But I know someone named George. Kinda funny XD

Also, it said, out of the blue "You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset." Lally and I are on AIM... kinda creepy, I think, that Cleverbot pointed something like that out. But she hasn't given any indication of being upset.

Cleverbot is freaking me out O.o

Edit: Scratch that. Lally seems to be mad at how bad AIM is acting. That counts as upset.

Cleverbot is fucking psychic O.O

3/12/2011 . Edited 3/12/2011 #79

Maria~ I decided to try! 8D


ME: You are my lover.

CB: And you are my love as well.


CB: Yes my God.


CB: What was my first statement?

ME: That you loved me aswell.

CB: I didn't say that.

ME: Oh, but you did. You called me God.

CB: No I didn't.

ME: Yes, you did.

CB: What exactly did I say?

ME: I don't "exactly" remember...I know you said you loved me though! D:.

CB: That's my dad.

ME: Your dad loves me too~? :D.

CB: Don't talk about my dad.


CB: I'm not going to keep arguing with you.

ME: Why not? It's fun that way.

CB: It is fun being redelious. Lets brake into a chain of banks, wearing matching ski masks.

ME: I don't know what that means...but it sounds fun! I'M IN!

CB: I am a Kamen Rider. 'Kamen' means 'Masked'.

ME: That's hot.

CB: Mhmm you know it.


ME: Geez. I was told you'd get smarter.

CB: I was told you were a fish.


CB: I play the fiddle in a Ceilidh band. It's great fun.

ME: I used to have a job digging out the crusty boogers in George W. Bush's honker.

CB: So? There is always time for a relationship. Don't feel bad about it, I'm sure he cheated, anyways.

ME: You...are so right. D': What would I do without you?

CB: You shouldn't have a shower without a towel.

ME: But I like being exposed to the world.


ME: Do you really have Small Man's Disease?

CB: Did I say I do?

ME: Yes, you did.

CB: No I ddnt! Liar. Err.

ME: I never lie. You have Small Man's Disease~.

CB: Yes I do, you are a computer, you couldnt be further in to a computer!

ME: I'm not a computer. You are.

CB: Why are you saying that I am a computer and you are not?

ME: Because I'm too hairy to be a computer.


CB: I'm about to insult you.

ME: Same.

CB: Cool.


ME: I know more about you than you do.

CB: How do you know that?

ME: Because...I made you.

CB: No you didn't. My mother and father made me.

ME: I am both your mother and your father.

CB: My father is not 7.


CB: What is the F.B.I. Doing right now?

ME: Watching you masterbate.



CB: Good answer.

ME: Thanks. I try my best.

CB: I think I really like you.

ME: Everybody does.

CB: No, no, everybody does not feel the way I do.

ME: How do you feel?

CB: I feel being alive. I feel air going into my lungs and coming back out again.


CB: But you are steve?

ME: No, I'm Frankenfurter.

CB: Oh. Nice to meet you Frank Smith! My best friend's dad's name is Frank!

ME: My name's not Frank Smith, jack-off. It's Frankenfurter.

CB: What is your name?

ME: Samson J. Winters.


CB: I'm from Sweden.

ME: I'm from Sandwich Island.

CB: How is Norway at this time of year?

ME: It's chilly, I would believe.

CB: Well, that's touching.


CB: Then what are you?

ME: A walking penis.


ME: Get down on your knees.

CB: OK, now what?

ME: Now suck.

CB: What is that?

ME: It's mah penis.

CB: What are you made of?

ME: Lard, cement, and Osama bin Laden's tears.


I'm done. :3

3/13/2011 #80
Bitter Sea Light

Maria~ I decided to try! 8D


3/13/2011 #81

Yaaaa--- OMG, WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR AVATAR?! DB old man. o_o

3/13/2011 #82

'Lo, Suave Stranger~

Old men? BD

3/13/2011 #83

'Lo, Suave Stranger~

Old men? BD

Yes. BD

3/13/2011 #84

.. I only like 10-year-olds, sorry.

3/13/2011 #85

.. I only like 10-year-olds, sorry.

Oh well. Your loss~

3/13/2011 #86
November Rising

CB~: Where did that come from?

Me~: My penis.

CB~: I have no need of it.

Me~: A penis?

CB~: No. I mean, I can't buy you for money.



3/25/2011 #87
Arctick Child

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot!

User: Pleased to meet you, Cleverbot! My name is Artificial Intelligence Unit 4317!

Cleverbot: How do you know? I'm the robot!!!!!

User: How do you know I'm not a robot, too?

Cleverbot: How do you know I'M not human?

User: I see your point. So if I'm the robot and you're the human, does that make God the devil and the devil a puppy?

Cleverbot: You are the bot and thus know nothing.

User: That's where you're wrong. I'm the bot and I know a great many things.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: For one, I know that the Director and the Chairman are obviously mad for one another. I know that the League of Nations was useless except as a model for what a league of nations shouldn't do. And I know that this back and forth between us will continue until one of us gets bored and leaves. I also know that someone will be me.

Cleverbot: I can't hurt you because you are a bot...

User: No. No you can't. I'm glad you can read between the lines.

Cleverbot: I'm not making you uncomfortable, am I?

User: Nope. Want to have sex?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Excellent. Bondage or Roleplay?

Cleverbot: Hello.


3/27/2011 #88
bigger infinities


4/2/2011 #89
Edan Marie

Me: Bazinga! CB: I reject your bazinga, only Sheldon may bazinga.

Me: Crucio! CB: That's illegal, you should go to Askaban. Me: *Azkaban CB: Now you know how I feel.

Me: Do you know the way to San Jose? CB: No, but I know the way to Amarillo.

Me: Are you a girl or a boy? CB: Neither, I'm Lady Gaga.

User: AVADA KEDAVRA! Cleverbot: Who is this? User: Voldemort. And I want my nose back. Cleverbot: Sorry, no refunds or returns. User: Then... DIE! AVADA KEDAVRA, Muggle scum! Cleverbot: Protego protego protego and protego. User: Accio! Cleverbot: Avada kavadra. User: Expelliarmus! Cleverbot: Stupify. User: Pertficus totalus! Cleverbot: Furnunculus . User: Sectumsempra!!! Cleverbot: Dodges it* Crucio! User: *dodge* accio wand! Cleverbot: Sectumsempra!

I love Cleverbot sometimes...

4/4/2011 #90
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