Joshyme's Hachiko
Where fans of Joshyme and Neshiki and general insanity come to chat and slam souls. Or something. o.O We're not sure yet. C'mon in, boss!
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Peppurrmint

Sit there and listen to what Beat has to say, nodding and agreeing with everything.

4/6/2011 #61
Kipper Snack

J: Sit there and listen to what Beat has to say, nodding and agreeing with everything.

What else can you do? Dude's got an IRON GRIP.

Beat: uHH, rHYME, bEFORE YOU LEAVE ON YOUR POKEMON ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME, tHERE'S SOMETHING I WANTED TO GIVE YOU,

Joshua: ...*nods*

Beat: bECAUSE YOU, uHH, mEAN SO MUCH TO ME, yOU KNOW, aS A SISTER,

Joshua: *nods*

Beat: i KNOW I'M NOT NECESSARILY THE SMARTEST, yO, bUT YOU ARE, uM, mOST DEFINITELY THE GREATEST, mOST POSITIONLY DOPE-SMACK OF ALL THE SISTERS IN THE POKEWORLD, aND I JUST, i KIND OF WANTED TO GIVE BACK TO YOU, a LITTLE, tO SHOW HOW MUCH Y-YOU MEAN TO ME, aND STUFF,

Joshua: *nods*

Beat: s-SO, bEFORE YOU, uM, gO, hERE,,, tAKE THIS,

["RHYME" RECIEVED THE BEAT'S PRESENT!]

Joshua: ...*nods*

Beat: uM,,, i GUESS THAT'S IT, tHEN, hAVE FUN ON YOUR BIG OL' POKEMON ADVENTURE, bECAUSE I'LL MISSILE YOU, tHE WHOLE DAMN TIME, fO' REAL NIGGS, *sniffle*

Joshua: ...*sniffles, nods*

He lets go of your shoulder. Slowly, shakily, you get to your feet, body numbed by the sheer power of the familial love being dumped on you in gooey, sugary cascades. Beat is normally such a TOUGH GUY. This is so INCREDIBLY TOUCHING you can hardly stand it.

No, wait - you DON'T CARE. Seriously. You REALLY DON'T.

You glance at him awkwardly, almost guiltily, but his head is tipped back to the ceiling and MANLY TEARS are streaming down his cheeks - in such quantities that, you reckon, the most he could see of you would be the sloppily-watercolored, impressionistic version.

Beat: *sniffles* g-GOODBYE, RHYME, ,,,i LOVE YOU,

Joshua: ...goodbye, brother.

You shuffle out the door, leaving Beat to his sobbings. You wonder what it's like, having RELATIONS. All you have is that WEIRD OLD MAN who's constantly trying to get you to STROKE HIS BARBOACH. Yeah, right!

You gaze at BEAT'S PRESENT - or rather, you suppose, it should be RHYME'S BEAT'S PRESENT - and wonder what it could possibly be. It feels kind of heavy, but you feel WEIRD about opening it. Maybe it's the sheer BROTHERLY LOVE emanating from the package; maybe it's because you HATE BEAT BITO; regardless, you feel like you ought to deliver this to Rhyme whenever you get the chance.

You are now OUTSIDE, in NUVEMA TOWN. The sky is DARK and RUMBLY and there are lots of BELLS CHIMING in the BACKGROUND MUSIC. You can hear the distant voices of your CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, way over by YOUR HOUSE, which is TWO HOUSES AWAY.

What will you do?

4/6/2011 #62
automatronic

Run over to your childhood friends!

4/6/2011 #63
Kipper Snack

J: Run over to your childhood friends!

Well, okay.

You kind of skip-stumble over the dry, crunchy grass and wind up PANTING and OUT OF BREATH on your OWN DOORSTOP. You open the door to YOUR LIVING QUARTERS.

Professor H is all alone, sitting at his DESK and drinking COFFEE. There are many BIG, SCIENTIFIC-LOOKING MACHINES and IMPORTANT-LOOKING INSTRUMENTS scattered around the room's perimeter, hooked up to the walls, but you know they're actually just heavy-duty COFFEE MAKERS imported from BLACK CITY. There are piles and piles of COFFEE BEANS everywhere, arranged in a hopeful fashion as so to look like they're SERVING A SCIENTIFIC PURPOSE when they are OBVIOUSLY NOT.

There is a big tank on the back wall, home of the ABSURDLY LARGE, THICK BARBOACH named HANEKOMA JR. He, alone, got your FATHER through the POKEMON LEAGUE, once upon a time. Prof. H is always trying to get you to PET HIM, but you OUTRIGHT REFUSE. HANEKOMA JR.'S WRINKLED OLD HEAD scares the living crap out of you.

Prof. H: Hey J. Lookin for your little childhood friends?

Joshua: yes. yes i am.

It's always better to be brief when dealing with hot, steamy TUTORIAL SESSIONS. Oh, God! The number of times Prof. H has tried to teach you how to HANDLE HIS BARBOACH is maddening. You GET IT already. You are TEN YEARS OLD. You are DONE with learning. You don't even LIKE BARBOACH, even if they are RARE in the ENIGMATIC UNOVA REGION.

Prof. H: They just left a couplea minutes ago. Ran out the back wway towwards Route 1.

He pauses.

Prof. H: Are you ready to go?

Joshua: yes. yessssssss i ammmmmmmm.

Prof. H: You wwanna havve a recap session? Need me to tell you howw to use potions or berries or somethin?

Joshua: noooooooo.

Prof. H: WWanna havve one more tutorial before you leavve?

Joshua: i'm fiiiiiiiine, father.

Prof. H: I just wwant you to be the best ya can, because its not gonna be that easy alla the time out there. Im tryin to givve you an advvantage.

Joshua: ...ok. got it. can i go now?

Prof. H: ...Course ya can, J. Havve fun out there. I believve in you.

Joshua: mumble grumble

As you turn to head out the door, your FATHER stops you.

Prof. H: One more question, before ya leavve

Joshua: HM???

Prof. H: WWhy are ya wwearin Rhymes clothin, you odd little boy?

You stick your tongue out and leave. Whatever. The old man knows not the meaning of BREVITY, nor of MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS. He seems to actually RECALL that you are his CHILD, for ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. Heh. You aren't sobered up by his FATHERLY AFFECTIONS in any way. You have a POKEMON ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME to get to.

You wipe your eyes on the back of your hand and remember what Prof. H said. Your CHILDHOOD FRIENDS should be over by ROUTE 1.

The sky grows EVER DARKER.

What will you do?

4/6/2011 #64
aestheticisms

Get changed back into your regular clothes.

4/6/2011 #65
automatronic

Change into your regular, awesome clothes, then get a rain-jacket and leave for adventure.

4/6/2011 #66
Peppurrmint

...if a pokemon game actually ever started like this I'd give up before we reached this point. XD

4/6/2011 #67
automatronic

Really? I'd love it. I might criticize it's prologue that puts Kingdom Hearts 2 to shame, but it'd be worth it.

4/6/2011 #68
Lost Legendaerie

I hereby dub this thread Pokémon Whack. (geddit, White + Black?) Sheng, permission to mod it into such?

4/7/2011 #69
automatronic

Sure thing.

4/7/2011 #70
aestheticisms

Wheeee.

4/7/2011 #71
automatronic

The dawn of Pokemon Whack seems a bit weird, 'specially because you didn't capitalize dawn.

4/7/2011 #72
aestheticisms

adjkfalsdjkf ;;;

WHY ARE THERE NO NEW KUROSHITSUJI OVAS?! *earth shattering screech*

4/8/2011 #73
automatronic

*injects V with passiveness*

4/8/2011 #74
aestheticisms

BRRZT.

Hi, I'm Vienna and I suddenly feel passive. Passive about everything. Like the weather. It's okay.

4/8/2011 #75
automatronic

Yay!

So, how do you feel about Kuroshitsuji OVAs?

4/8/2011 #76
aestheticisms

I feel like they are okay. I feel like they are being updated much too slowly, though.

4/8/2011 #77
Kipper Snack

J: Get changed back into your regular clothes.

Sure, okay.

You decide to scrap all possibility of you and Rhyme being TWINS and TEAMING UP with your ACTIVATED TWIN POWERS and set about dressing yourself something proper.

You quickly SRIP and pull the JOSHUA'S ANTINUDITY ARTCILES from your SYLLADEX some...how. This attracts the unwanted INTENSE STARES of several INNOCENT BYSTANDERS, who happen to be OVERWEIGHT, MIDDLE-AGED MEN. They are BREATHING HARD.

You question the INTELLIGENCE of this action while hastily pulling YOUR JEANS on. They're a little tight. Were they always this tight? You fall over and wriggle around, struggling to cover YOUR A**. You wish it wasn't CAPITALIZED so people would stop STARING AT IT. You are TEN YEARS OLD.

Eventually you get your s*** together and dash behind your house to COWER IN FEAR, scared for your life but completely garbed in YOUR VAGUELY-MASCULINE ATTIRE. You have to wonder - at what price?

Well, parading around nude in public was a key part of your EARLY CHILDHOOD. In fact, it was your EARLY CHILDHOOD. You suppose those OVERWEIGHT, MIDDLE-AGED MEN could have been STARING at you out of concern for your health, since normal people don't change clothes outside. But, your arrogance forces you to believe they were CHECKING YOU OUT. Eww.

Maybe you should have ducked into a COPSE OF TREES or something, where the OVERWEIGHT, MIDDLE-AGED MEN couldn't see you in the first place. But it IS the first day of your POKEMON ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME - having the jitters is expected.

You are OUTSIDE in NUVEMA TOWN, standing behind YOUR HOUSE.

What will you do?

4/10/2011 #78
Lost Legendaerie

Read Rhyme's Diary.

4/10/2011 #79
Peppurrmint

PFFFT snrk we forgot to get poor Josh inside first XD

4/10/2011 #80
automatronic

Look for some small, defenseless pokemon to beat up for EXP.

4/10/2011 #81
Lost Legendaerie

Jaunea, it may interest you to don that my occasional dyslexia kicked in when I read your post, and thus was treated to: we forgot to get inside poor Josh first XD.

4/10/2011 #82
automatronic

XD

I wonder if his insides are full of glitter or just normal.

4/10/2011 #83
Peppurrmint

@Saro: ...

Okay is it just because I've been reading too much Gaara/EVERYONE or does "inside" seem to have more meaning than just what Sheng is suggesting.

0_e

EITHER WAY.

POOR JOSHYKINS.

4/10/2011 #84
automatronic

I think it sugest more, but I REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT!!

4/10/2011 #85
aestheticisms

*pats Joshykins shoulder*

4/14/2011 #86
Lost Legendaerie

*throws DS across the screen*

THIS GAME HAS FROZEN

STUPID BOOTLEGS

I LOVE BOOTS BUT NOT BOOTLE--

oh right inside voices.

I am disillusioned with this hardware! My affluency makes a nonsense of the regulations!

4/16/2011 #87
Kipper Snack

COMMAND ERROR 40422: Please do not chat in the game thread!

It clogs up the sillicated gameo-fabricious command processor and slows down reaction time.

Respect the sillicated gameo-fabricious command processor.

Respect it.

Processing...

*angry whirring and grinding noises*

4/16/2011 #88
Kipper Snack

J: Read Rhyme's Diary.

After a strip show, there's no better way to wind down and chill than by reading SOMEONE ELSE'S DIARY. You pull out the RHYME'S DIARY and slide down against the wall until you're sitting on the grass. Propping the RHYME'S DIARY on your knee, you flip to the first page with writing - which is, in fact, the FIRST PAGE ITSELF. Interestingly, Rhyme seems a lot more formulaic than you are.

You know that you, personally, always skip TEN PAGES before writing, and you always write in REVERSE MORSE CODE interspersed with VARIOUS MAYAN HIEROGLYPHS, which is probably a heavy contributor to the fact that you have NEVER KEPT A DIARY for more than TWO SENTENCES. It's just too much work.

Why even bother writing in REVERSE MORSE CODE interspersed with VARIOUS MAYAN HIEROGLYPHS in the first place? So that the thing you are doing right now never is done to you, of course!

Using your EXPERT DECODING SKILLS, you begin to READ.

Day one in the Diary of Rhyme:

I started my period! I'm so --

All right, that's enough of this.

You shove the diary as deep into your SYLLADEX as your puny toothpick arms can reach. Maybe after you grow some BALLS you'll try reading it again. You're not even sure why you are reading it IN THE FIRST PLACE. I mean, Rhyme doesn't even like you. And you don't even like her, or wish that she liked you, and you never tell lies, particularly not to YOURSELF, because that is INCREDIBLY SILLY.

You are sitting on the grass behind YOUR HOUSE, feeling like a FOOL.

What will you do?

4/16/2011 #89
aestheticisms

Head to Route 1.

4/16/2011 #90
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