Black Hearts, Bloody Roses
Enter a strange Earth, where creatures of mythology and folklore blend in with the populace, all trying to live in harmony, despite the conflicts between them. Chose from a race that has only been seen in legend, and prepare for anything, in this cold, cruel world, where love and happiness bloom in unlikely places. Live, with Black Hearts and Bloody Roses...
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Secret Vesper

Linnet

Day Two/Three in Necrobridge

Such interesting days... I fear that I will not have much to tell the Lady Vivian upon my return at this pace I am going at. I have yet to find the place I was to meet with the council, or even hear from them... I fear this may end up causing some problems in the end.

Of course... now I must choose whether to go back to Avalon or not... I understand that if the Lady Vivian calls me back, I must go, but there have been other's who abandoned us before. But they were also not strong in their faith and let themselves be carried away by foolish things such as love. But on the other hand, love is one of the greatest things in the world.

This is my problem in life. Being taught two seperate things from each side of my family. It always ends up confusing me in the end... Perhaps if the Lady Vivian calls me back, I could just bring Axel with me. He says he wishes to see Avalon and the Realms. My only worry is how the others will accept him. We have had humans venture into both, but I know not of vampires coming into our sacred lands, even if he is only half.

I know not what will happen now. We ran into my brother on the way back home today. (Look at me, calling his home mine already... I must take control of myself! Although it does sound nice.) Brother did not look happy in the least about what he saw and he was able to tell that Axel is not part of us in the least. I am sure he will go home to the Realms and tell Father, and he will be very angry with me. I, Linnet, daughter of our leader, caravanting around with a half breed. Perhaps I will have to remind him again that I am also a half breed and that it is my father's fault of that. I will just hope that I meet with Father alone, without Axel at first, implore him to see reason.

We also met another man. This one had an eye patch. I believe he thought himself to be a highway man. But when Axel refused to fight or give into his demands, he backed off. Is this normal highway man behavior? He warned us to be careful of men with antlers and men with blue hair. I am sure that the men with antlers are my family, but I know no such men with blue hair. I did not even know that it was possible to have blue hair! He also made a reference to the seven suns. I do not know what this means, but it sounds familiar. Perhaps something I once heard in a prayer or chant back in Avalon or in the Realms even. I shall have to ponder this, since Axel said it sounded familiar to him too...

I fear this is the end of my ramblings for today. I hope to have something that I can use for the Lady Vivian when I write again, but as the way it looks, I most likely won't. My leg is out for the day, so I cannot go out looking for this council. Instead, I will sit here with Axel. Although I don't know why he has taken an interest in a girl like me. I already have so many strikes against me, surely he does not want these to carry on to him... Perhaps I will ask him. You shall hear again from me soon.

Goddess keep me safe and all I hold dear, give me stength to follow your will, whatever it may be and the knowledge to know what to do in trying times.

Linnet Bird

1/27/2010 #31
JobenX

Gareth Knight - Blood Apocalypse

WHY CAN'T I FADE AWAY!?

It's not worth trying anymore! It never was! I'm sick of it all, and I've never felt sickness like this... The most intense longing to leave everything all behind... Just to fade from this world, a silent whisper on the wind...

Any hope I had for the future... For trying to find peace... They've all gone, all shattered into a thousand ghostly tears, while I lay crying, with no end in sight.

If this is a nightmare, I should have woke a long time ago. If this a game, it should have ended long ago. If this is truly life, then I should have died long ago.

What do I have worth staying for? Why should I strive to survive? I'm battered, beaten and broken. And if my heart wasn't broken by the bullet that went through it, then it was broken by Abby.

Abby.

Abby.

That one night meant so much to me, so many dreams I had long held played out that night. Someone who could see me, hear me, believe me... care about me, listen to me, remind just what it was like to be alive again, with the heart racing at a million miles an hour.

And just like that, in the blind of an eye and the echo of a gunshot, all my hopes and dreams, wants and needs, were laid to by bullet. A bullet through her heart.

Just watching it... It was like dying all over again. It was as if I could feel the bullet. The memories of a murder still burn deep in my mind. She was right there, and I could do nothing, nothing but weep and cry and scream and shout, but, now she had gone, once more did my cries of sorrow and anger fall upon deaf ears.

I spiralled out of control. Everything became more and more difficult to understand. I felt so sick. I hardly knew her, but she's made her mark. My time never ended, so for all of my miserable, pathetic, useless fucking existance, I watched over her grave... The Watchmen of the West. Every day I would sit and stare at that grey stone, and remember every single detail of that night.

That one night of my death was better than all the nights of my life.

The days turned to weeks, to monthes, to seasons, to years...

Then, David found me.

David Draconis, the ghost of a vampire... a bad vampire. He could see me, touch me, and hear me.

So he hurt me, and watched and listened as I cried out in pain I haven't felt in years. He beat me down, pushed me to the ground, and even ran me over on his black, spectral motorcycle.

I'm loosing it, I'm loosing my mind, the last remnants of Gareth Knight. I'm not even him anymore. Gareth Knight died long ago, I'm just an empty spirit. Everything that Gareth was, all his thoughts and fears, feelings and emotions... I think they're gone, replaced with my own. But who am I? Am I real? Is this word real? Is anything real? Was Abby real? Is the pain real? What is real?

These thoughts have plagued me for years, but now they've gotten worse... I want them to stop.

Then... Abby came back.

No. She didn't.

That wasn't Abby. That was some sick, twisted distortion of her mind. She's changed so much she's not even Abby anymore. She's not the Abby I remember.

I miss her.

Her words cut through me, like I was less than the nothing I even was. It... hurt. It hurt more than anything David ever did to me.

I miss her.

She said she knew about pain. She knows nothing! She didn't even die... Whilst everyday, I always get that swift reminder of how easily broken my life was, and I have to endure the suffering of spending more than... I don't know, 50 or 60 years alone... If there is only one thing I don't know about pain, it's how to stop it.

But I don't care anymore. Now that Abby's gone, those final threads of my sanity have snapped, and now I'm just a tortured soul.

I want to die.

I have to die.

I need to die.

Why won't I die?

Why won't I die?!

WHY WON'T I DIE!

I've had enough! I can't take the world anymore! Everything can just leave, I can just leave! Please, just let me fade! Someone, anyone! I want to fade away! Who can hear me?! Let me die! LET ME DIE!

Fade! Fade! FADE!

I can't stand it anymore!

LET ME DIE!

JUST LET ME DIE!

...

...

...

... Let me go where the angels sing, the devils dance, and where I can be free.

...Let me go...

Please.

2/18/2010 #32
Mistress Brya

Mika Lockheart ~ Alabaster City

Dear Diary,

What the hell is the matter with me? I'm just in this eternal darkness, that won't leave me alone. I want to be the old person I use to be, but... I... its hard. Not mentally, just emotionally. I don't want to cause problems. I seem to be the one that will end up killing Ambrose and Fontaine. Dylan did it before, and he's now 6 feet under the ground.

I'm so stupid, I'm never going to amount to anything.

They must never know the other burdens I bare, the other pain I caused. I never meant to do it. I... I just had to.

I'm sorry Seraph. I'm sorry Ambrose. I'm sorry Amelia.

Why can't I just slit my wrist, I won't feel the pain in my heart anymore...

I know what I have to do, I know what I am. But I don't think they'll accept me... especially not Seraph. I've already deceived everyone, I don't want to deceive him and Ambrose.

But for my daughter... I'll do anything to keep her safe...

Even if that means I kill my best friends...

Life's a niche, and then you die.

That saying is true, absolutely true...

2/18/2010 #33
Luna Goddess of the Night

Asuka Marie - Ablaster City

Well, I've done it again. I've screwed up once more. I've dragged a mortal and his sister into this mess. And Xanatos has found me again.

But, Harley and Dana have arrived, right in the nick of time. Who says having a wiccan vamp for a friend won't come in handy.

No time for a long entry. Just one short one. We're trying to escape right now, and I need to pay attention

Until next time,

Asuka

2/20/2010 #34
Mistress Brya

Mika Lockheart - Alabaster City

When he that at a time we were enemies, I had a child in my stomach and I was beginning my transformation. I wasn't wondering what they became. I was too terrifed of what I was becoming.

They accepted me... I can't believe it...

I'm still their little... Mika, Mimi, Mia... The girl they see as a baby sister...

Our own faults... I actually caused a few of the problems myself. My talking, curious nature got the best of me when I was with that group. We all faded away, but I faded away the most. I'm not the girl I use to be...

I'll never be that bubbly charismatic girl again....

Fading away... I never faded away. I was pulled into an abyss that I couldn't get out of... I'm still trying to get out. Only thing that pulled me out slightly was Ambrose and Seraph.

They were always in my hearts, because I loved them. Loved them so much that it hurt, that I would die for them.

Is that bad? Wanting to die for them also... but then again, I have a life that is dependent on mine...

But the thing is, we still have secrets... I have rather large secrets...

Some of those secrets are to never be revealed. Like that vow you take on your wedding day.

Till death do us part...

Till death is when that secret can be revealed. In death, no one will know what actually happened. The only person that will know is that corpse, that rotting corpse, but if you're brought back to relive that pain...

Why would you want to be brought back, wouldn't you want to die and never have to face those burdens, pain, heartache, maddness again! Who would want that!

I, for one, sure as hell don't want that.

Embracing what we are, I rather not. I rather live in an oblivious place where some one just gave me a casting glance...

A normal life... but that'll never happen now... I was never destined for a normal life...

"Friends we were then, and friends we are now, and friends we'll continue to be."

He sounded so sure of him, making me want to believe him... I want to believe him...

But not for the cost of a small one's life...

My plan is going to have to get revised now. I don't know if I can go through with it.

I don't know if I'll even live to see tomorrow for that matter...

Killing my best friends, or letting my daughter fall into his hands...

Mother daughter bond... a promise to our deaths...

Life's tough decisions...

I don't think I'll make the right one!

The question is and has always been since the beginning of life...

The question is choice.

~Mika

2/20/2010 #35
ImagativeRainbowPenguin

Lilly Carson - Daybreakers

Entry 1

You know Nicholas Flammel? If you know him, you must know of his work. He was just one of the many, many idiots who have been striving for immortality. But then, just recently this year, scientists created what would change humans forever. A virus that turns you into what everyone knows as vampire.

What is a vampire? Well, for those of you living in a hole for your whole life I'll tell you- it's an unnatural being who must avoid the sun and drink the blood of humans to stay alive.

I don't even understand why anyone would want to be such a horrible thing. Vampires are leeches. Well, I suppose humans are the leeches of the Earth since we keep using all these resources but never give any back. But I guess it would be nice to not ever be sick again. To be able to live your fullest everyday...

Ever since the time before the vampire outbreak began, I've had always been sick with something. I have a weak immune system because something bad happened to me as a baby. I don't remember what it was, but my mom knew.

Oh mom, if you could see me now...

I'm living in the old tunnels near the eastern part of the town where the drug dealers do their work. And to be perfectly clear- I have never done any drugs and from what I've seen I don't plan on it either.

But the whole vampire thing is spreading now, more and more people are turning everyday. Most are people who pay for it and goes to the hospital to be turned, the others are the ones who are either accidental or crudely done.

Whenever I see one of them I can't help be feel revolted. They are all freaks of nature, they aren't supposed to be like this.

----------------------

Entry 2

Half the town is now apart of the horrible growing population of vampires. One of the girls who comes by here every other week to buy weed didn't show up. Her friend did instead. I could see her golden eyes, she's one of them. I wanted to ask her what had happened to her friend, but I didn't. To be honest, I was afraid. What happened to the girl?

I managed to find a book, it was just laying there at the mouth of the tunnel with some broken glass scattered everywhere. I didn't touch anything but the book which I found out is the old Dracula book. It's weird to me because there were no letters anywhere on the cover or spine of the book indicating that it was Dracula. And it's leather bound. I'm pretty sure that this is very valuable... but I'm not sure what I can do with it. Sell it on eBay? Maybe, but then I would have to face the vampiric librarian who hated my guts. I hate her guts too now that she's an abomination.

Other than the girl not showing and the book, the week has been uneventful.

------------------

Entry 3

The vampiric drug dealer and his friend began to talk one night, apparently there is a blood shortage and now there is a law that makes it illegal to be human or something along the lines of that. Since when did that became law? Only four months ago everyone had been human...

During the following day, when the world is peaceful and free of the abominations, I felt the feeling I had when I was stuck in my room because I had been sick with chickenpox and I wasn't allowed out for a week with limited human contact. My mother never had chickenpox and she told me that it was dangerous to catch it as an adult.

But I guess that doesn't matter anymore. Past is past...

I felt the longing to talk with someone. I want to escape this horrible nightmare.

But this wasn't a nightmare- it was reality. You can't escape reality.

Maybe when I fall asleep tonight, I'll wake up in my room and everything will back to normal...

2/27/2010 #36
Mistress Brya

Jodeci Nightgale - Wraiths of The Sea

He knows my secret... Is that bad?

I mean Gabriel was the only other person I told about me being what I actually am, a mermaid. I didn't tell Kuron and that was what started that large fight in the past, before Gabriel's untimely death.

The look Jacon gave me, made me self conscicous... is that good or bad? I honestly don't know.

I can't believe he's a reincarnation of Gabriel... my Gabriel, well, not really,... kinda.... maybe... Ugh! So confusing.

I never thought there would be a day that I would be able to be happy and be myself again, not without Gabriel...

Jacon's not Gabriel though... I need to remember that. They're not really the same person...

Even though he has that tattoo... and regards to me as something worth having... and... the brashness he has like when he took my cannon!

... I should have stopped him, but I didn't stop Gabriel in the past when he wanted to commit suicide, I just let it be, even though I had to fish him out the water afterwards...

...So now the real thing is... who do I love?

...

The fact that Jacon is pretty much Gabriel reincarated, or Jacon for who he is...

Let's just pray I make it through this, and that Jacon doesn't become addicted to my blood.

...God knows I don't want that to happen, he may just randomly attack me... not that I-

----

Candice Hollis - Necrobridge

She's so adorable! I love Lexi, and she sings beautifully, just like Dalton...

... Dalton...

Hmm, interesting to say the least...

...I'm thankful for his singing, getting me out of that ball before Westley tried anything.... The nerve of the guy~!

I guess also I shouldn't have ran off earlier like how I did when I made Lexi upset... But I just felt guilty, I always feel guilty, like when I lost my baby sister, Nathalie.

I miss her so much. Her cute little baby face.

But, what really is disturbing me is how Dalton can be alive, and dead at the same time. I couldn't tell Lexi that her "Uncle Dalty" is a Banshee, not that she is already frightened of the "Shadow Men" or whatever they are, Shades, that destroyed her home...

...Which one is he though, really. Is he dead or alive... Its rather confusing to be honest.

Just like he confused me when he said he was sorry that he hypnotized me...

Completly uncalled for!... I need to thank him. For getting me out of there when it happened...

He smiled when I accused him, your not suppose to smile when you're saying sorry...

...But then again, what does that really mean?

Why did he smile at me...

----

Mika Lockheart - Alabaster City

I'm going to fucking kill him! That bastards head is mine!

First he killed my family, then he rapes me and then he takes the only thing in my life that keeps me sane away from me...

He has got to die!

... I'm thankful to Talon and Geneva. Without them I don't think I would have made it out of that building, alive... nevertheless.... I'm extremely thankful to Seraph...

...I can honestly say that without him I would probably have killed him in a fit of rage in front of Amelia...

She should never see me like that, in a trance and covered in blood. Hopefully she'll never grow up to be like me or having to worry about staying human...

That's all that matters...

That she stays human.

... I have three things I need to get off my chest...

Talon was telling me that Seraph had talked about Fon about a bear...

A small teddy bear...

... I wonder how much Seraph loves me...

Does he love me enough not to hate me for an eternity?

... I highly doubt it because what I could possibly reveal next could just make him want to suck me dry...

Fuck!

3/28/2010 #37
Fear Die Rothaarige

Nyx (BA)

Dear Diary,

I'm a cold hearted bitch. Do you want to know why I am a cold hearted bitch? I left Joey alone and hurt. Not physicaly hurt, but emotionly. I guess I should start from the begining.

Joey and I have been back together, trying to make things work between the two of us. We have been trying to get past all the heart-break that has been plauging us. Him, from being gone so long and missing out of eight years of life.... And the fact the his brother, the brother that he thought to be dead, is alive and well and is the one that is trying with all of his power to kill us. And my heart-break if from the ten years of missing Joey. Ten years of reliving the memories that I held close to my heart because he was gone from me. And then there is Vance, the werewolf who is missing and is the one that I turned to only a few days before Joey came back from the past and became real once again....

Vance, he wants to be with me. He even shoot Joey, trying to get him out of my life once again and taking his place... I... I love Joey, but Vance holds a small part of my heart...

I hate telling Joey that he is the only one that I love, when I know it is a lie. I can not get Vance out of my head.... and what remains of my heart.... I smile when I think about the way his hair sticks up in all different ways when he first wakes up. How he has this lop sided grin that makes my heart melt...

I hate myself for doing this to Joey. I hope he does not know about the lies I have been telling him. As my love for Joey grows stronger and stronger, the small part of my heart that loves Vance does not fade away into the past like it should, it holds its ground and stays strong...

Joey had another vision... And he said that in this one, he was about to kill me.... I know he had a vision of this before... and the events that happened within the dream did take place in real life, but I did not die.... Can I escape death again?

And just last night, two of Joey and mine ancestor's appeared to us. Cerberus, where his family's blood first starts to mix with the supernatural, was who I talked with. He told me how Joey and I will face tough times together. How if we do not play our cards right, we might not make it to see the next day... But it is not those words that are staying in my head the most. It was when Cerberus told me this, that my blood ran cold and my heart skipped a beat.

"If you survive, so will others much closer to you than Joey"

I wish I knew for certain what the words meant. It made my heart skip a beat and my cold run cold because it was saying that there was someone who was or would be closer to me than Joey... My mind goes to Vance whenever I think of this.... And I don't know what I want it to mean... I want it to mean something good, but it seems that it will only turn out in heart break.

After Cerberus left, Joey and I we talked for awhile. And I gave Joey a massage and after awhile, we switched. And I asked him if he knew that he was the only one that I could ever love (Even though I knew it was a lie, I thought that maybe I could look past the part of me that held onto Vance)... And he said he knew.. But for some reason, I kept pushing the matter.... I kept pushing and pushing to where we both were shouting at one another and I left if a moment of pure furry.

When I left, Joey was a mess. He was screaming and sobbing for me to come back... and no matter how much I wanted too... I could not make my feet work and take me back upstairs and take Joey into my arms and tell him how sorry I am that I made him hurt so much... That is why I was wondering around for hours in the city that I grew up in. Where I first found Joey and where my heart started to think on it's own and it started to ache for the feel of his lips on mine. How his multi colored eyes would roam over my body. How I could sit and listen to his heart for hours. Where I started to love Joey....

Alabaster is where it all began.

And now as I sit in a forgotten building, miles from the house where I had left Joey, I sit and think about what Cerberus told me... And a new thought comes to my mind.... About the hidden meanings in the words that I was told.... And I smile alittle... I like the idea that I have come too... But I will have to wait and see if what I think, what I hope to be true... I will have to wait and see...

-- Nyx (soon-to-be Valentine)

3/28/2010 #38
JobenX

Steven Crowe (Night Life)

I think we're finally getting some material together for the album! So far, we've got Life's Highway, Life Without Limits, Savior and Falling Out Of Love planned out. We're finally getting somewhere! Anyway, I'd thought I'd note LWL here, in case I loose it...

_

Laid back, all I wanna do is live my way

Relaxed, gonna have a party, all night, all day

Hijack, don't care how it goes as long as it goes

Untaxed, and we're flying as straight as arrows

~

So what if we're just a bunch of fools?

We don't wanna have to live by your rules

As long as my blood still has the fire

It seems like things could never get dire!

~

'Cause we're livin' life without limits

Becoming the heroes under a midday sun

Speedin' through the sky like a bunch of comets

All I wanna do is have a life of fun

And baby, all I need is a few good freinds

But sometimes, you just gotta wait the weekend

~

Surf's up, one day we're stormin' across the sky blue seas

Snowball, next day we're making avalanches on pearly white peaks

Stickup, don't care about the ways, don't care about the means

Pratfall, sometimes get caught, and we're in the cells for a few weeks

~

So what if we act so immature?

We don't care if our sanity took a detour

As long as I'm still standing up straight

Maybe I might even increase the birthrate!

~

'Cause we're livin' life without limits

Becoming the heroes under a midday sun

Speedin' through the sky like a bunch of comets

All I wanna do is have a life of fun

And baby, all I need is a few good freinds

But sometimes, you just gotta wait the weekend

~

Break stuff and make stuff and smash stuff and crash stuff

Don't really care!

Miss you and kiss you and screw you and do you

Truth or dare!

Heroes and zeroes and fearless and peerless

Gotta keep rocking!

Dancing and prancing and stealing and feeling

Never start stopping!

~

Aw, missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!

~

Come on, hell yeah!

Don't just sit and stare!

Join in the party!

Feelin' so cocky!

Go! Go! Go!

~

But sometimes, gotta sit down and think of other things

Can I always feel like I'm so free with air under my wings?

Will I have to give up my time for something more serious?

Will my life suddenly seem like it's not so aimless?

Will I become everything I never wanted?

Do I really want my life to feel safe and sorted?

~

NO!

~

I wanna get lost in the flow

I want time to get so much slow

I'm gonna steal the sun and watch it shine

If I can always be rocking, then life will be mine!

~

So I'll be livin' life without limits

Becoming a hero under a midday sun

Speedin' through the sky like a bunch of comets

All I wanna do is have a life of fun

And baby, all I need is a few good freinds

But sometimes, you just gotta wait the weekend

~

'Cause we're livin' life without limits

Becoming the heroes under a midday sun

Speedin' through the sky like a bunch of comets

All I wanna do is have a life of fun

And baby, all I need is a few good freinds

But sometimes, you just gotta wait the weekend

~

Living life without limits

It's the only way for me

Living life without limits

I'm rockin', so leave me be

Living life without limits

Here comes the weekend

Living life without limits

Call all the friends

'Cause we're living life without limits

Living life without limits...

Without limits...

Without limits...

Living life without limits!

_

Hopefully, we can make a single out of this. :D, Anyway, that's all I got for today.

-Steven Crowe

P.S. Sera, stop reading my diary.

3/31/2010 . Edited 3/31/2010 #39
Auburn Envy

Sera Crowe (Night Life)

Dear Diary,

Everytime I write those words I get that song by Pink stuck in my head and continually the lyrics will run through my mind until it annoys me and makes me want to kick a gnome. I know, I know kicking a gnome is no way to get a sung stuck out of my head but I only know a few other ways to forget everything and I haven't really had time to mess around with any of that stuff. Which reminds me I should probably talk to Sirius about that stuff, he always has something laying about that idiot...I swear one day he's going to get caught and thrown in a cell and I'm going to laugh my pretty little white ass off (yeah I'm not conceited, not conceited at all...). Wait, I believe I had a reason for breaking out my good old felt pen, I swear it's as if I have ADD or maybe I have some holes in my mind made from the tracks some old drugs took...Maybe, who knows not me.

So, after what fourteen years is it now? I finally got the balls, well I should say guts to tell Steve that I am totally and completely, irrevocably in love with him (I think I stole that from a movie). His reaction? He kissed me, which really upset that little belly dancer that was talking to him, or at least I think she was a belly dancer. Who knows all I know is that she, Kayla was her name, was talking to him and at that moment I wanted nothing more then to tell that girl off. Not as if she's a bad girl, I talked to her a bit and she seems fair enough but there's always that little green eyed monster in me that likes to rear it's head at the most impromptou times, especially when I see some chick talking to Steve. Anyways, I told him and he didn't go and laugh in my face or look at me awkwardly and say, 'Well I love you too but only as a sister....' I think if he had I might of been broken, again. Sad isnt it? I wish I hadn't attached so much of my self to him that he has the power to break me with one word but I have and I don't think I regret it. And after last night I don't think he will.....

On to things not involving hot, badass albinos I found out I can kill things (yay! not really....). Turns out I'm sort of witch, I know it sounds a bit mad but all the best and truest things in this world are more then just a tad bit mad when you first hear about it. My mom was a witch and now she's a vampire too, as if she needed to addd one more thing to the supernatural list. I think more then anything I was numb, we talked civilly at the bar (she's a bartender now) and she told me about everything. I just can't believe she left my dad and me behind, if she hadn't left I wouldn't of killed Dad or that girl or....Fuck, I can't see anything allergies or something. Anyways my mum's a witch, I'm a witch and we already knew Lou was a bitch, I mean witch. Actually, I went over to her place so she could give me a few pointers on this whole witchy things and she showed me how to summon a demon, her's that is. That dick-I mean demon was a horny little bastard and took Steve's shape and then we started kissing. It probably would of taken me a bit to realize it wasn't really my albino but then his lips started burning mine. I got away, no thanks to my pink haired friend who just stood there silently and now my lips hurt like hell. As we speak I have an ice pack on them, I am sooooo sending his demonic butt back to hell when I get the chance.

Love and Rockets,

Sera the Badass Witch

P.S

I will read your diary anytime I want to Steve, but if you read mine you are going to wake up in a very compromising positon in a very public place!

Love ya,

Sera the One Day Ninja

P.S.S

Good song by the way

Bye again,

Sera the Burnt Lipped One

4/1/2010 #40
JobenX

Steven Crowe (Night Life)

Yo!

Alright, here we go... One song down, and here comes another... This one is called "Life's Highway"... Still need to write "Falling Out Of Love", and I, as well as Jake, have got a few potential song titles in our heads... The strongest ones so far include "You Don't Want To Know Me" "Dancing With Angels" "A Heart Torn Asunder" and "Find Yourself".

Anyways, here's LH

_

I've come to the end of a long and dangerous path

My heart is paper, my mind is glass, and my spirit is ash

My mind was full of doubt, but soon I'll be on my way

As I make my way back down Life's Highway...

~

I'm ridin' down Life's Highway and I'm outta control

I lost my way, and I'm looking for a goal

Don't be telling me what I need to do

I know it's my fault, but I don't need you!

~

You say you gonna be there for me through it all

Just shut your mouth, just give up, let me fall

I wanna know what it's like to finally be alone

But you always keep tryin', tryin' to drag me back home

~

I'm ridin' down Life's Highway to knock on Death's door

I coulda been rich but instead I was poor

Chasin' down Love's sweet embrace

Only to see Hate's bitter face

It may not be the time, may not be the place

But baby, I'll pull through with a smile on my face!

~

I'm ridin' down Life's Highway and I'm tryin' to crash

And all I can hear is you screaming at my dash

Don't you get it? Can't you tell that I want out

You keep trying but you just make me wanna shout!

~

You say all you gonna help take all the pain away

You fill me with words that make my spirit decay

Don't you get it? Can't you see what I want to leave behind?

How can I find myself when you make me loose my mind

~

I'm ridin' down Life's Highway to knock on Death's door

I coulda been rich but instead I was poor

Chasin' down Love's sweet embrace

Only to see Hate's bitter face

It may not be the time, may not be the place

But baby, I'll pull through with a smile on my face!

~

Because baby you know it, I know that you do

You always keep telling me that I'll pull through

I know you're trying to help, trying to be my friend

But you know that the end of Life's Highway is a fucking Dead-End!

~

So now my heart lays open on the highway and you know how I really feel

The question now is what you gonna do? Will you make the choice?

Are you gonna leave my mind and let my broken spirit fix and heal?

Or are you gonna sit there like a statue and keep ripping me apart with your voice?

I come now to the end of the road, and I'm not gonna stop to go back home...

~

'Cause, baby I don't care, 'cause my life is my own!

~

I'm ridin' down Life's Highway to knock on Death's door

I coulda been rich but instead I was poor

Chasin' down Love's sweet embrace

Only to see Hate's bitter face

It may not be the time, may not be the place

But baby, I'll pull through with a smile on my face!

~

I'm ridin' down Life's Highway to knock on Death's door

I coulda been rich but instead I was poor

Chasin' down Love's sweet embrace

Only to see Hate's bitter face

It may not be the time, may not be the place

But baby, I'll pull through with a smile on my face!

~

I'm ridin' down Life's Highway...

Down Life's Highway...

Down Life's Highway...

Down Life's Highway...

It's a fuckin' Dead-End!

_

We've been in this business for what? I don't know... 5 years? It's about time Chaos Theory started making their name.

Just you wait, Aria, we're catching up on ya ;) See you at the Warped Tour!

P.S.

Generic Statement of Sera Repression

4/2/2010 #41
JobenX

Steven Crowe (Night Life)

Alright, here we go... The next song in the last, naturally also one from the album... Jake helped with that one.

Just a note to Sera (I know you read my diary, despite telling you not to), this song is not directed at you in anyway.

Here goes, this is "Falling Out Of Love"

_

Have you ever gave away your heart before it's time?

Have ever needed someone who never judged you?

Is your mind catching up and you're seeing the signs?

Are you realizing that sometimes you can't always be true?

~

There was a time, I could tell you whatever I wanted

And you'd always stop my spirit from being haunted

But time went by, and now I've realized the reasons why

All those ghosts in my mind needed somewhere to lie...

~

Time's gone by, and I think it's time to let you know

I'm having doubts in my mind on who's freind and who's foe

We've been through so much, but now I'm starting to see

The reason I'm breaking is 'cause I've seen it wasn't meant to be

~

So listen to me please, please don't be afraid

I need to tell you, there's some promises I can't keep

I think somewhere down this line, my heart was mislaid

It's not easy to say, not easy to do, but I let it get too deep

It's not your fault, trust me, you're not the reason why

It's me, baby, 'cause I'm starting to see everything I say is a lie

My heart's gonna break if this goes far enough

I want you to know, I'm so sorry, but I'm falling out of love

Yes, I'm falling out of love...

~

There was a time, I needed nothing more than you by me

And you'd always be there to set my spirit free

But my mind opened to me, and I realize the cage was my own

And it's become the time where all I want is to be alone

~

Oh please, I beg you now, listen please

I'm suffering from my own disease

I thought maybe you would be my cure

But please don't cry, I won't lie when I say my love was pure

~

So listen to me please, please don't be afraid

I need to tell you, there's some promises I can't keep

I think somewhere down this line, my heart was mislaid

It's not easy to say, not easy to do, but I let it get too deep

It's not your fault, trust me, you're not the reason why

It's me, baby, 'cause I'm starting to see everything I say is a lie

My heart's gonna break if this goes far enough

I want you to know, I'm so sorry, but I'm falling out of love

Yes, I'm falling out of love...

~

Don't believe this is easy for me to say

Don't think I wanted things to go this way

I want you to know, that from the beggining, I always cared

But now, it's the sound of a heart breaking that makes me scared

I know the truth's gonna hurt us both in the end

But I went too far in love when all I wanted was a freind

~

Please let me go, don't make things too hard

I'll let you go, 'cause I know things went too far

I know you'll hate me, but listen to me please

I can't keep going this way, so let this be a sweet release

~

You'll always have a place in my heart long buried

But now it's time to part, because I know I hurried

I'm so sorry, I don't wanna be a heartbreaker

And I know I'll be denied when I meet my maker

Now I'm begging on my knees, please just let me go,

Oh please, my dear, let me go,

Oh my darling, please let me go,

Listen please, I beg you, let me go,

Let me go,

Let me go...

~

I can't be the one you want me to be

You always meant so much to me

I'll never forget the dreams we had to win the race

But please don't join me now as I fall from grace

Like a fallen angel with a broken wing

Please listen to me and this song I sing...

~

Yes, listen to me please, please don't be afraid

I need to tell you, there's some promises I can't keep

I think somewhere down this line, my heart was mislaid

It's not easy to say, not easy to do, but I let it get too deep

It's not your fault, trust me, you're not the reason why

It's me, baby, 'cause I'm starting to see everything I say is a lie

My heart's gonna break if this goes far enough

I want you to know, I'm so sorry, but I'm falling out of love

Yes, I'm falling out of love.

~

So listen to me please, please don't be afraid

I need to tell you, there's some promises I can't keep

I think somewhere down this line, my heart was mislaid

It's not easy to say, not easy to do, but I let it get too deep

It's not your fault, trust me, you're not the reason why

It's me, baby, 'cause I'm starting to see everything I say is a lie

My heart's gonna break if this goes far enough

I want you to know, I'm so sorry, but I'm falling out of love

Yes, I'm falling out of love...

~

The song is fading, my love is fading

My heart was breaking, my life was breaking

I was the disease, you were my release

I'm sorry to say, I gotta go a different way

We lost the fight, I can't be your light

And thus we end, we can't defend

~

And to all the people who hear my sad song

Judge me how you want, right or wrong

The guilt in me will never leave me

You only add insult to my injury

~

I'm falling, I'm falling without wings

I'm dying, I'm dying when the angel sings

I'm crying, I'm crying for what we once had

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for making you sad

But I've gone too far, gone far enough...

I'm sorry, so sorry...

I'm sorry, so sorry...

Sorry I'm falling...

Sorry I'm falling...

So sorry I'm falling...

So sorry I'm falling...

I'm so sorry I'm falling...

I'm so sorry I'm falling...

I'm sorry I'm falling out of love.

_

4/4/2010 #42
JobenX

Steven Crowe (Night Life)

We're on a roll now! Once we finally buckled down, songwriting seems so easy!

Nate helped write this one... This is "No Worries"

_

Well, the world is burning now, burning into madness

I wonder how now, how any one can stand it

But I'm not falling for it, not falling into this sadness

I'm surviving, while everyone is running for it

~

I'm the one, I'm gonna make the world my own

Seize these dreams and live this life how I want to

I'll fly high, to the sky, I don't care if I'm alone

All I know, is all my freinds are always wanting to know

Well, the world is still burning, and I'm still flying, flying high...

~

So I'm gonna say, there's no worries

And you're gonna say, there never are

Not quite sure, if there's no injuries

But who cares, as long as we reach the stars

'Cause the stars are always waiting and we're gonna reach them one day

~

Well, the streets are crumbling now, crumbling into decay

The cold hearted system, spares only the merciless

But I won't be, the victim, no I'm not gonna fall prey

I'll stand proud, and loud, while everyone falls to darkness

~

I'm the one, I'm gonna make my dreams come true

The world is yours, so why don't you come and claim it

I'll standing here, no fear, while everyone is falling through

And they still ask, they ask me just how I'm handlin' it

Well, the streets are still crumbling, and I'm still standing, standing here...

~

So I'm gonna say, there's no worries

And you're gonna say, there never are

Not quite sure, if there's no injuries

But who cares, as long as we reach the stars

'Cause the stars are always waiting and we're gonna reach them one day

~

Baby, it can't all be fun and games

Sometimes, you gotta take life seriously

But please do it with a smile on your face

Or I'll put one there, so mysteriously

Just keep smiling, because I know everything's gonna be alright...

~

So I'm gonna say, there's no worries

And you're gonna say, there never are

Not quite sure, if there's no injuries

But who cares, as long as we reach the stars

'Cause the stars are always waiting and we're gonna reach them one day

~

And so I say, there's no worries

And so you say, there never are

Still not sure, if there's no injuries

But who cares, as long as we reach the stars

Well, the stars have been waiting and we've almost made it to them

_

4/9/2010 #43
ImagativeRainbowPenguin

Alabaster City - May Bloom

5/23/10 ~ 5:00AM

Lately I've been finding it hard to keep up the charade. It's harder to smile, harder to hold back the tears, and it's hard to even trust one of my friends. Abby should never have died. I should have heard her distress, I should have been there to stop her murder, but I hadn't. I know it's been months since this had happened and that I should just let it go, but I can't. Just like I can't let go of Kara. Both girls had been so quiet, and though I never talked to them, I knew that they both had pure hearts and kind souls. It's just not fair that the good dies and the evil lives. I just wish that life could be more like a Disney movie.

I wish I could tell Gavin of what I am, but I don't know how he would react. I'm afraid that he would never be my friend again...

5/23/2010 #44
Mistress Brya

Jodeci Lockheart - Wraiths of The Sea

... What is going on here ...

I don't seem to understand my own feelings.

Bonded.

I'm stuck with him for life...

Not that I'm complaining but...

Its Jacon.

Technically...

Things couldn't have gotten more complex. So even if he wanted to leave me alone, he honestly couldn't and he more than tlikely wouldn't.

He facinates me more than waht I let on.

I want to know about when hew brought back and how he became a witch and then a vampre But deep down...

I think it might scare me...

...

Why is things so complicated?

I have enough to worry about with Kuron. Still out there. The cause of all our pain. He wanted my precious gem stones. I can't even find them without that book and key and eventually all that gold...

I need to find my purpose ... admit everything.

5/24/2010 #45
Mistress Brya

Aurora Valentine - Ancestral Shadows

I found this song to talk about someone, I won't admit to it though.

Sometimes it's soft as a misty rain

That gently touches my soul

It cools the fire that burns in me

And I simply lose control

So just

[CHORUS]

Rain down (on) on me

Let your love just fall like rain

Just rain on me

Just rain down (on) on me

Let your love just shower me

Just rain on me

~~~

Full as a dam at capacity

My passion's about to explode, yeah

I can't escape, it's surrounding me

I'm caught in a storm

That I don't need no shelter from

~~~

Rain down (on) on me

Let your love just fall like rain

Just rain on me

Just rain down (on) on me

Let your love just shower me

Just rain on me

~~~

Shower me

Sprinkle me

Fall down on me

(Your love just falls on me)

~~~~

Fall down, fall down on me

Let it

Fall down, fall on me

Just

~~~

Rain down (on) on me

Let your love just fall like rain

Just rain on me

Just rain down (on) on me

Let your love just shower me

Just rain on me

My eyes alone, if someone opens this without my permission. You won't like it.

~Sparkling Sunrise :)

7/16/2010 . Edited 7/16/2010 #46
Mistress Brya

Mika - Night Life

He's so cute! (giggle)

It's so much fun hanging out with Ares, we simply enjoy each others company without a care in the world. It's something different, I've never felt this way about a person before.

It's so carefree, so honest and pure. I'm rather happy when I'm with him. Ares is such an adorable neko, well I see him more as a kitten. 

I'm happy he accepts me, and my wings, nothing else matters now in the world and it seems as if me and him will never part. We'll always be together, since we're kinda inseparable. 

Oh no, he's coming! Bye diary! 

~Mia

*****************

Candice - Necrobridge

We were attacked and the only thing I was worried about was Lexi. And now, she's gone... Killian took her after I permantely scarred his girlfriend for life... So much has happened... 

It began when we were in the forest or well more importantly I found my way back after Dalton's singing. They both sing beautifully. Then I was out with Lexi after she chased after some animal. It was a fox and then turned into a snake that had her. I kept calling her name until I heard that final scream and rescued her. I couldn't bear to see her go like that. Dalton found us after that moment. We headed back to the house. It was stressful to say the least. My power has been acting up yet again for the day. Once we had returned to the house, Dalton gave me changing clothes and that's when I saw the second bizzare thing of the day...

Spiders... (cringe)

I hate bugs. It's a really stupid fear to have but it's a fear I have. They frightened me dearly and when they were all in there, no wonder I fainted. Dalton didn't say anything about it, unlike how Samuel and Henry would. It was a rather eventful day, and it was the beginning of an eventful night when Dalton told me what he was exactly. He's half alive and half dead... If that's even possible. Me and Lexi had a conversation about it. The conversation and pleasant night didn't last long though because while we were talking, Lexi was taken. I don't understand why she was taken, she's just a poor defenceless little girl that...

... 

I need to calm myself, I can't be caught crying at a time like this...

She was taken by Killian and he wouldn't give her back. Parfait, or whatever the pink haired woman name is, she poisoned me. I don't know how but she did. And I feel horrible about it... Not to mention having to come back home to see my mother. I love my mother with all my heart, but it seems as if she was always hiding something ever since Juliana died. That was 4 going on now 5 years ago since my babysisters death. I feel guilty about it and visit her grave all the time. I put her favorite flower there also. Iris. Those were what she picked whenever it was spring and we brought them into the house to surprise our mother.

... That's why I snapped at Dalton earlier. I feel bad for doing it but the guilt was rising up in me and I couldn't help but feel that it was my fault that Lexi was taken. Just like how I turned around for only a moment and my sister was dead. I was 13 then. I'll have to come to terms with it, but I can't right now. The wound is still there, especially now since Lexi is gone. They're both the same age, so child-like, very much the same. I see her as the little sister I lost back in the past. Dalton said he will get her back, but he's not doing it without my help, I won't let him do this alone. It wouldn't be fair of me to do that either. We'll both get her back, I just know it and figure out a way to kill Killian.

Its also rather surprising that my mother liked Dalton rather quickly I might add. She doesn't have the usual attitude whenever I come home with someone, well actually, this is the first time for me to do that and maybe that's why she's being nice. Though usually it ends pretty badly I have to say. Dalton never told me that much about his, well, first life I guess you should call it. I never knew him of a noble or a man in the war. Even though he didn't tell the whole truth, like perhaps the part where he's not human anymore. Though, not everything is what it seems, though it seems as if me and Dalton have gotten closer... Or is that a figment of my immagination...

There's a noise coming up this way, I hope it isn't one of the maids... They love seeing me at my weakest and I also have the remains of tears coming down my face... 

Until we meet again diary...

-Dice

8/9/2010 #47
Secret Vesper

Linnet Bird- Necrobridge

Day after the Flowering Moon

I've made me decision, and it was one of the hardest of my life. I am about to leave. Axel's laying next to me for the last time, but he doesn't know that. He's sleeping so soundly that I just want to curl up with him and go to back to bed. But I can't. If I do that, I know I won't ever leave, and I promised Sterling that I would meet him soon. Perhaps I should explain.

This entry will be my last one. Today, in just a few minutes I am leaving to meet Sterling in the clearing. He has learned of a way to bring Avery back and I am going to go through with it, even though it means ending my own life. I have left Axel a note explaining to him what I am doing. I think he will understand, at least, I hope he will. I'm not doing this to leave him. If I could have both him and Avery then I would have the perfect life. I would be so happy, but I can't ask someone to die in my place for my son and my happiness.

I feel so bad for leaving Axel. He's my everything, and yet, Avery deserves a chance at life. He deserves to find someone who makes him feel as good and complete and whole as Axel does to me. I hope Axel understands that. I know Papa or Ayal will take care of Avery for me, but I want Axel to stay in his life. He may not be his birth father, but I know that if we were all together, he would have been a wonderful father. And he can tell Avery about me and tell him how much I love him.

And it's not like I am leaving forever. I'm sure that someone will be willing to take Axel to the spirit realms to visit me and when he passes away, then we can live together forever. Doesn't that sound nice? Together forever. Yes, it's a little over used and cliche' but it sounds nice.

Okay, I must be off before I am late. So goodbye to the world and goodbye my love if you ever read this.

All my love,

Goddess Bless,

Lin

------

Kalya-Night Life

I swear... Joey Valentine will be the death of me, and yet I love him. I am going to have to be careful since I fear that clouds are drifting towards us from my past. I will soon have to explain to him about it all. But he is very open minded, which he will need to be, for both of our sakes.

He is becoming something that Mr. Valentine called a 'hybrid'. The best of two species, in this case, a werewolf and a vampire. I shall have to be careful, since Mr. Valentine seems bent on not telling him yet. I do not understand. What if something happens and he looses control? That's what it took with me to get Mama to tell me about my vetala side. She waited until I slipped out of my body for three days! It isn't a good thing to wait until they loose control. If they tell him now, I'm sure he would be able to be prepared, or at least understand if something happens... I will pray to Shiva and Kali that he will be safe for now. And until further notice, I am staying near to keep a close eye on him so he doesn't get hurt again.

-----

Viola-Night Life

Such intereting things are happening... I shall have to write more when I have the time. But Navarros has found me, but now he goes by the name of 'Nate' and is in a band. This doesn't surprise me in the least. He is bent on taking me to a ball. I do not wish to go. I have not danced in a lifetime and I do not wish for others to see my tattoo. It is one thing with Nate. His past life had one like it. But others stare at it like it's a museum exhibit or like it's a disease that they can catch. I am not looking forward to this.

-----

Sam- Alabaster City

To be human again... liberating, weak, emotional, dependent and free from other things. It is quite an experience.

8/9/2010 . Edited 8/9/2010 #48
JobenX

Amber Midnight

If anyone manages to read this... Well, I don't know... I just feel the need to explain everything... But I don't know what good it'll do. Words can't bring back the dead...

My name is Amber... Amber Midnight... And I'm a murderer, a senseless monster who's only natural defence is to kill... and I can't change, no matter how hard I try... But I'm alone, with nothing but this peice of paper to pass the time... But I have to be alone, people just get hurt... no... People DIE around me, and it's always my fault and I can't stop it... I don't know what to do, and everything I try never works... I won't hide the fact that I've tried to kill myself, many times, but nothing ever works... Nothing... So I'm stuck with living in the wilderness alone, without anybody to call a freind...

I'm not sure why I'm like this... There's things wrong with me that I just don't understand... Physical things... But if you want it simple, I'm just a freak, and that's not just me talking, I really am something unnatural, a montser, not human in anyway... And every time I panic, if something's going wrong... I change... change into... a killer, yet I can see what I'm doing, I even know what I'm doing... But the point is;-

I don't want to be a killer. I don't want to be a freak. I want to be able to talk to someone without feeling under attack... I want to not live in fear anymore, running from the first tiny hint of danger... And all for the sake of making sure that nobody gets to know me, because when that happens... People die... and I don't know who I can trust, if anybody...

Just... If anyone somehow manages to read this... Just leave me alone, before you're another corpse on my conscience.

I'm sorry...but I can't change.

9/23/2010 #49
Mistress Brya

Jodeci – Nightlife

I can actually say, I'm happy now.

He's back in my life, the other male in my life.

But I don't think he remembers my other angel.

Ironically, his name means angel and his father was an angel. I think the odds are against me during this. I can't believe I saw Salem, or well Steve. The same little shy boy that was on my ship is here now, in a different body. I didn't think he would remember, nonetheless actually be okay with Jacob since he ruffed him up in the past. But nevertheless, he probably doesn't remember what happened.

All this about the angels and their body such thing is rather confusing.

I'm excited about going flying. I haven't been flying since he caught me before I fell off the side of the cliff. He doesn't hold much of a grudge against them now. Which makes me happy. He's much more openminded and a bit more easy going then what he was in the past.

But I love him, undoubtedly.

~Jodeci

12/20/2010 #50
Secret Vesper

Viola Lemkin-Nightlife

Such odd things happening any more. My life no longer seems to revolve around my writings and spreading the stories of Auschwitz and the Holocaust. At least, not as much as it used to. Perhaps I should explain, yes?

The other night, I was scared almost out of my wits when Nate shifted before me. I am very glad that he is alright. I found his brother, Steven, who is also an angel, vampire. He told me that it occasionally happens that the host of one of the angel's turns from a vampire into a werewolf. He also said that it should be better next month, that Nate will have a better grip on himself. I am very glad for this. He scared me a lot when he didn't have a hold of himself.

But besides that, things have been going well. He reminds me so much of Navarros at times. But it is usually at random moments where it shows through and always catches me off guard. I am worried. Navarros and I were sweethearts before he died. Could I just be attracted to Nate because he reminds me of Navarros? I do not want to be attracted to him just because of that. I'm not sure what to do. Perhaps things will be clearer for me soon.

-----

Emily McAllister- Wraiths

These last few days have been a whirlwind. I was rescued from my little island in the middle of nowhere when some men burst through the floor of my hut. Apparently there was a minotaur on the island the whole time that was guarding a magical book of some kind. They ended up being pirates, aboard a beauty of a ship called the Ravenfang. The captain, Zack, ended up finding some of my ancestors, a couple by the name of Linnet and Axelous Crimsonia. Apparently they are my grandparents of so many greats. Lin is half Fey, the stories Mama used to tell me about when I was younger and Axel is half vampire. Apparently that explains why I have such great eyesight and my other little quirks.

We went to the Realms, the world that the Fey live in with Lin and Axel after Lin gave birth to their son, Zachary. (I do not know how many children they have, but apparently they are several centuries old, even though they barely look older than I am.) Apparently I was given a doll, Rosethorn, from Lin's father, Dante when I was born. She's feline in appearance and has been following me closely since we were reunited. I didn't remember her at first, but the more that I see her, the more familiar she's becoming.

While we were there, they had a celebrating called the Flowering Moon. To make a long story short, the full moon apparently makes the fey (yours truly included) and humans very horny. Combining that with the wine, which apparently makes them even even hornier and I woke up in bed with Zack. Now, not to say anything bad about Zack. He's a great guy, nice, hard working, willing to do anything for anyone, and kind of handsome. But, he's not Wesley.

Wesley. Now I knew this topic would come across at some time. I found him today. I was told by a man named Old John that he died, a year ago in the storm. I think that I always knew that he was dead, but I just didn't want to admit it. As if saying it out loud would make it true. But I think that I knew he was dead and that there wouldn't be anything I could do about it, so I was just pretending it wasn't so. But, there's nothing I can do. He's dead and I'm the young fiancé who's husband died before they wed. But Zack and the crew have been good about everything. Zack got Wesley's gold cross for me and the crew went and found a necklace with a red diamond in it. I don't know how they did, or why, but I don't think I can thank them enough.

I'm afraid that's all I can write right now. I am going to go to bed and we'll see if I wake. Goodnight.

-----

Sam- Alabaster

I hate CVAS. I hate that elf. I hate his little flunky. I hate their robot. I hate those stupid grenades. I hate dieing.

On the upside, I do not hate my Squishy.

12/26/2010 #51
The Beautiful Tyrant

Alexander Benoit - NightLife

Does it count as a journal if I'm typing it into a computer? Hmm... Who knows.

I just got off the plane from France, I rented an SUV from a local company... Gave them fake information. I'll change the plates tomorrow. What happened to trying to fly straight? Whatever. Cars are too expensive. This place isn't that bad. The paint isn't pealing, there's some nice carpet, hell, even the neighbors are pretty quiet. Wait, scratch that last part, I think somebody is beating their spouse upstairs...

So, Bastien said that there was some interesting club in this town a vamp friend of his goes to... I think the place is called Nightlife? Well, I guess once I'm finished here, I'll check it out. For now, though, I have to figure out a name for you, dear computer/journal... Maybe Aaban, that muslim I met in prison right before I left France... That guy was so quiet, real good listener. Alright, well, I'm signing off. Later, Aaban.

P.S. My new number is 666-815-2382

2/24/2011 . Edited 2/25/2011 #52
JobenX

Mercy Coblar - Reign In Blood

I'm not really sure what the point of writing this is yet, but I just felt the need to, I don't know, get some thoughts down. There's very few people left who know me, and if I die, I don't want to be another one of the many faceless dead found by Zahn's soldiers. Someone has to know, besides me, what I'm fighting for, and whoever's reading this, it's probably you. If I'm still alive, then I've either given this to you because I don't know what to say, or you just happened upon it, in which case I hope you're on my side in this war. If I'm dead, then I guess this is just a memoir. Either way, my name is Mercy Coblar, and my parents are leaders of the Resistance.

My father, is none other than a Weresoldier, perhaps the most well known of them all these days. Whatever you want to call him... Subject 00, Carson Riggs, Brutus... I just know him as Dad. My mother is former United States Army Captain Ramante Coblar, known by most as Red, but by me as Mom.

Yeah, it's a kinda dysfunctional family, but somehow, it works, when we're together at least. We haven't been together as a family for a long time, because Dad's trying to fight James Saxon's forces back stateside whilst Mom is back "home" training new recruits and keeping things organized. Of the two, Mom was the last one I saw. I was "home" for a long time, helping were I could, but it started getting hard, I just couldn't stay in the fort anymore. I needed to get out. Mom was reluctant, almost ferocious at first, but it got to the point where I just knew I was gonna go, and she couldn't stop me. When I told her that, though, she kinda went with it... Mom's weird sometimes, maybe she's a bit crazy... That's what most of the recruits think anyway.

Speaking of which, the new soldiers always tend to avoid me, and I've always wondered why. When I eventually met one that was a bit talkative, he said it was knowing I was Red's daughter that made people wary... That, and my birthmark was a bit intimidating. A part of me was disheartened by that, because Mom always said that it was pretty and it made me me, no matter what anyone said against it. I've always been proud of this, almost tribal design, speckled over my eye, but sometimes... I guess it's a downer.

Anyway, I left "home" and, I can't remember where I was, but I took a train to France, and then to Spain, meeting with some Resistance forces there. I managed to get on a ship, bound for Maine, and when I got there, I made my way south, towards Malibu, where I met this rather... enigmatic and slightly, just slightly, pompous engineer. It was then that I finally heard some whispers about Dad, and how he was going to be executed.

I never met my father untill I was nine years old, and that was while the old Blood Apocalypse was still raging on, and then it was... kinda hard to build up a kinda... sentimental relationship, because I was mostly learning how to fight, but I still tried, with urging from Mom.

I'm not really sure about this war, I just know there are good guys, and bad guys, and my father is currently awaiting the death penalty. I've always had dreams and hopes of a, somewhat, normal life, where we're all back together... Mom, Dad, and I. I don't know what we're doing, but as long as we're together... that's all that matters to me.

And like fuck is James Saxon, Erich Zahn and all those other vampire cronies gonna tear away this dream of mine. Mom always told me something Dad said... Even a mighty beast will fall, if stung enough times.

I've got an M60. This bee's got a sting alright.

I'm gonna have to move soon. Dad's execution is in a few hours, I have to be ready... I don't know what he'll say, I just hope he's happy to see me, and he won't just send me back to "home" straight away... I've already missed him too much.

-Mercy Coblar

_

Lynx Lightning - Alabaster City

Kain Quickfang, that arrogant son of a bitch... literally! If I ever see Razor again, he's gonna get an earful about keeping that rabid son of his under control.

Anyway... I think I've fallen in love, which, after so long, is hardly suprising and yet pretty amazing. I knew it would happen eventually, but how old am I now? What... 2011 - 1683 is... 328... jeez... By rights, I'm an old bitch, but I'm still feeling as young as ever... I have to be, the way that Alexander Benoit holds out... Damn, for a human, that guy is out of this world.

I think he's still a little nervous though, I could kinda see it in his eye after Kain invited himself in. He knows I'm a werewolf... and after fourty shots of tequilla, I can't really fault him for thinking me inhuman. He hasn't seen me turn yet, and the moon isn't full for a few days yet, so that's at least a little bit of time to... I don't know... steel myself for whatever his reaction is. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm worried... on the one hand, he could be scared and just leave, and... well, that's gonna be pretty crushing, I'd imagine... On the other hand, he'll stay, but that means that Kain would set his eyes on Alexi, and I don't want him becoming part of one of those brutal games that the Clan likes to hold in the forest... after Kodiak Jechtland's narrow escape from it, after that business with the crazy octopuss queen, the Clan aren't going to let anyone else go so easily.

They know what I am, and they know to fear me, but I can't take on the entire Quickfang Clan, even if Abel were to help me.

Something's going to happen to Alexi, I know it... I'll protect him, as best I can, but I just hope he's got resolve of his own.

न च धर्मो दयापरः

- Alexus Shaddixen, AKA Lynx Lightning

_

Zacharia Havenwood - Wraiths Of The Sea

This is it. We're on the very edge of destiny now. We only have to make a voyage north to Florida, at the request of the Sea Witch, and then we'll be heading towards death or glory with the wind in our sails. I can't believe I've actually made it this far... I know I would never have been able to do it without my friends, but I mean mentally, spiritually, emotionaly... I never thought that I'd get a chance to make this dream a reality, and now here I am, standing upon the very borders of reality that seperates imagination from the truth, and I'm pretty sure we're about to blur the line.

Several new individuals have joined my crew recently... the rather adorable Falene and her doll, Stardust, and her lover, a minotaur by the name of Asterion. The Sea Witch, Tatiana herself, who's services I repayed by giving her a rather... unique elf by the name of Scaramouche, and a willing companion and harpy, Azura Lucia... there's also Gareth Bones, I think is his name, and he looks like an old sea dog... there's also somebody, their name escapes me now, but he looks like Death itself, much to Jahanabad's unease, and there's Axel... not my dhampir father-figure, but a dwarf, as a matter of fact... and then there's the rather... interestingly born captain girl, Crimmson Flynn, I believe is her name, along with her ship hand, Scott.

But perhaps most poigniant, is Emily McAllister, the stranded girl whom we found on the island which held the Book that Tatiana directed us towards. She is... different, at least, I see her in another way than I do everyone else. She has this uncanny ability to twist my heartstrings with a frown, and warm them with a smile... such a thing I have not felt before, and not even Captain Kellandra Kestrel's genuine unflirtacious advances could match those feelings, and I know she's tried... In all honesty, people wonder why I do not consider Kelly as a lover... I am keen to keep them wondering, but the truth is, I just can't ever trust her enough, she is too slippery for her own good... She is a good friend, dare I say even a best friend, but I would not consider her as a lover or wife... Something that I ponder about in Emily...

Rogueish, yet sweet, there's just some way that she makes my spirit turn... but alas, I must keep these thoughts at bay. I know that my affections for her are only growing with every moment, but I must still these feelings... when the time comes to turn the page, she may not want to join the story, and if that happens, these feelings will be for naught... I told Kelly that I still hadn't found what I was looking for, but now, I'm starting to wonder if I was lying or telling the truth...

...Kourtney's prophecy... I wonder...

Regardless, this is all the time I have for now... This is Captain Zacharia Havenwood, signing off.

_

Boone Damerae - Paranormal Wasteland

We spotted a large group of people coming from Alabaster City... They were attacked by Aswangs at a gas station, but they seemed to hold up pretty well. Myself, Boli, Bianca and Bijou are going to gather ourselves up and join them... we'll be safer in those numbers, and they seem to be heading south... maybe we'll find Mom, or Dad, and Scaramouche... But we have to move.

Bijou is not getting any better. Two hundred years and she's still so... ghostly, she refuses to let that lizardboy go... I'm doing my best but, I'm starting to worry.

She needs something to hope for.

_

Solomon Osiris - Veni, Vedi, Vicious

Can't life just leave me alone and let me drink in peace?

Honestly... it's like I'm the God's errand boy or something...

...next thing you know, I'll be filling in for one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse...

8/21/2011 #53
Roseria Sylvester

Senka Argent - Alabaster City

Escaping from the research facility was easier than i thought it would ever be... did they even TRY to stop me? or was i stronger than they thought i would be? When they brought me to the disposal sector- i honestly thought i was gonna die. I haven't been terrified like that since the first three years of being their guinea pig, but when the man charged with eliminating me placed the barrel of a gun to the back of my head..... i snapped. I don't even remember thinking about whipping around, knocking the gun from his hand- breaking his wrist in the process, or breaking his neck. As he fell to the floor i DO remember my fear dissipating as i ran head long through the halls, knocking over scientists and technicians as i made my escape. When the alarm sounded- i wasn't even afraid at all. Not of the guns or of being caught, or even of dying. I just ran like a bat outta hell- ironic since that place WAS my personal hell, and that they made me into a pseudo-vampire of some kind... an Artifical Dhampir they called me. They designed me to hunt Vampires, too bad their project will come back to bite them in the ass- no pun intended.

6/1/2012 #54
Mardelzor

Carol Kincaid - Willow's Peak

I know you are there. I know you can hear me, can see me. Your men and guards have taken me and used me. I am a sex slave, a tortured soul, a helpless victim...no...not so helpless. My mind may be shattered by your cruel touches, but I am still here. Soon...Soon you will all fall before me. Soon I will kill every last one of you, you will all die. Every touch you give me...every single word I will pay back in triple. You will regret the day you ever caught me. You know by now...I can't die. You take advantage of this, but let me tell you. I can't die...but you can. I will kill you. You. will. PAY!

-Written in her own blood on the wall of her cell.

6/1/2012 #55
Mardelzor

Angel Mcarthy - Bloodiest Rose

Written in the midst of her forced prostitution as a young girl, right after she's developed physically and been cast aside to other clients by her owner, Duke.

Rejected by all, Loved by none

...

The heart is a delicate piece of your soul

When it's away, it takes a great toll

To trust a man with such a precious jewel

takes courage and hope, for men can be cruel

...

Some give it so freely, a mistake born of lust.

Others, still, lose it all in misplaced trust.

A man has the power to take it all down

Throw it in the dirt and in her grief she will drown

...

She could lock it away, avoid any pain

Yet then of all emotions it will drain.

Should she give in? Should she risk her life

When heartbreak always stabs like a knife?

...

She's been hurt before, used, ignored, she's done!

Rejected by all, Loved by none.

Her heart is wounded, has sung its last song

She's learned to be cold, mean, and strong...

(Actually, I wrote this back in Freshman year I think...but it kinda fit Angel :)

8/12/2012 . Edited 8/12/2012 #56
Scarlet Camellia626

Samantha - Jewels of the Desert

Diary Entry #???

How long has it been since i've seen the sun? Or any light source of the outside world? To me it feels like ages. Ever since my last master commanded me to be trapped within my lamp until his return, I have had to stay in this dark prison, only to be comforted by my flames which I control. I'm sure by now my master is dead and now I must wait for a new master to come and claim me. Oh why must I live in such a terrible way? To be trapped and called to constantly over milleniums......It's tiring. If only my true master would find me.

My true master.....I wonder where he is? The one master I seek that is kind and has strength that holds no bounds. The one that is truly worthy to be my master and command my powers to his will. I want to find him so badly. This one wish of I have seems to feel as if it's eating away at me every day.

If I could only meet him, just once and help him......I'd be happy being locked in this prison for the rest of eternity. To know that I could help someone so kind and reach their goals would be the greatest of wishes fulfilled by this weak Djiin.

9/9/2012 #57
Mardelzor

Ashley Adams - Malibu City

Dear baby...

Every day passes in darkness now, and I just can't find the light again. There's not enough air to breathe and I swear I have a knife in my heart because each breath is more painful than the last...I guess it's not fair to say that to you, knowing how you died. You were so tiny, so perfect in my arms, with the prettiest blue eyes and sweet blonde hair. Your skin was the softest I'd ever felt, and you looked like nothing could hurt you...nothing but me. I carried you for months, felt it each time you moved or kicked. I wanted to see your sweet smile and finally get to hold you in my arms. It took an eternity for you to arrive and then when you got here, you had to leave so soon. Why, baby? Is it because of me? No...and yes...each time I think about why you died, anger fills me up so much inside that all I can see is red, and all I want is to see the red of your dad's blood on my hands. I could sit here and blame him, say that his beatings caused you to die, and part of that's true...but not really. It's my fault, too, baby, and I'm so sorry. I could've left, could've kept you safe from him, but by the time your stupid, scared mama got up the courage to leave, it was too late.

Did you feel his fists and knife? Did you hear his screams and yells? I bet you did, and that's why you went so still and then kicked out when he hit me. I'm sorry that awful man had to be your dad. I'm sorry I couldn't find someone better, someone who would treat us both right, buy you a sweet little doll, hold you when you cried all night, kiss your little forehead and tuck you in at night...Instead, you got stuck with me and him, and I can't even afford to buy you a coffin-to get a headstone and write your name on it. All I can do is sit here and cry, think about ending it, then cry some more when I know that I'll go straight to hell. But maybe that's okay. Turns out, angels aren't all they're cracked up to be. They can't do shit. They couldn't save you...no, that's not right. They could save you. But they didn't. They let you die.

Sometimes, I still think I can feel you inside me, can feel your little feet bumping against my tummy, letting me know you're awake and getting squished in there, ready to come out and say hello. Sometimes I imagine what it'd be like now, if you'd...you would be a plump little thing with rosy cheeks and sweet little rosebud lips like you had. Your hair would be softer now, ticklish, and maybe your eyes would light up when you saw me. Do you think so, baby? Or would you hate your mama for bringing you up in this world without a father or a real house to live in, without a job to support you? Am I kidding myself to think that maybe if things had been different...no, nothing's changed and nothing will change. All you are now is a little box of ashes and all I can do is stare and cry, stare and cry...

No...you're more than that...you were everything good in this world, everything light and hopeful. Through months, you kept me going, baby. You made me strong. And now that you're gone, your mama just doesn't know what to do anymore. She doesn't know how to live, how to laugh...how to love. All I can see is blackness stretching far as the eye can see, and nothing can change it. I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry. But no matter if I go to heaven or hell when I die, no matter how young or old I might be, I'll always love you, my precious little Nichole...it was too soon. You shouldn't have gone-shouldn't have been taken from me, sweetheart. I'm sorry I couldn't go with you...sorry I could only hold you and cry until you just couldn't take it anymore...my baby...I killed you...I did it...it was all my fault, and if I could go back and do it different, I would. I'd have gotten out of there soon as I knew I was carrying you, and I would have run and run until I just couldn't run anymore and you were safe. But wantin' ain't gettin', and nothing I do can change the past. All I can do now is just try to remember you, try not to break down...there's an empty hole in my chest where my heart was, baby, and I don't think I'll ever get it back.

Love,

Your awful, awful mama

6/2/2013 #58
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