Title's probably self-explanatory. It rocks to have your stuff seen but sucks to have to wait until you're done with it to post. So! Post excerpts of fics you're working on. Or fics you've given up writing. Or even fics you've already posted and are proud of. Whatever!
Please warn when necessary. Not a requisite or anything, but go ahead and mention if you want critique/comments or need help, too.8/13/2010 #1
I wish I'd thought of this, but I'm glad you did. I could have all sorts of fun with this topic. 8)
Warning: What follows contains suggestions of Reese/Malcolm. Y'all know the drill. Skip over this if you no like.
To start out, I have something that really couldn't be made into a fic or drabble, cos it's basically one line. Was watching 'Pearl Harbor Day', and at the very beginning where Jessica had made some sort of fat free pasta, Reese really doesn't want to eat it. So he says, "She can put it on my plate, but she can't make me eat it." And then he dumps it in his pants and Malcolm gives him a dirty look. This popped into my head:
Malcolm scowled in Reese's direction. Great, he thought, as if dinner wasn't bad enough, now I have to taste this crap later too.8/14/2010 . Edited 8/14/2010 #2
:) Totally started for selfish reasons. Too many good writers in this fandom; I wanna read everything they have.... So, yes, please, post lots!
And I LOL'd in real life. Oh my God, that's so going to be my personal canon interpretation from now on. Actually makes me like the episode a bit more! (Was never a fan of Jessica.)
Um... No warnings. Probably obvious what this is an excerpt to, given how long I've been working on it, but, to Borne of Habit. Probably from Ch. 2 (or 3, going by FF.net's chronology.), because I suck at writing in order. I do have a plot, but feel free to tell me how you think the story should go.
It wasn't hard to piece together. Reese had mastered the art of getting in trouble but never the art of getting away with it. That smug grin of his was always a tell-tale sign. And considering the way Herkabe looked and smelled, coupled with the occasionally-problematic fact that Malcolm wasn't keen on things being coincidences, it was pretty easy to assume who his victim was.
"What did you do, Reese? I told you to keep out of it, you j***!"
Had it been Dewey Malcolm was yelling at, he would have gotten the cold shoulder.
But Reese only smiled back, obviously high on his own genius. He lifted his eyebrows and jerked his chin at Herkabe. "Did you know he has a sprinkler system?"
"You know how easy it is to hook one of those things up to a septic tank?"8/15/2010 #3
Oh man, I laughed so hard when I read that. And considering I was in quite a bit of pain at the time, that's saying something. XD But really, that totally seems like something Reese would do. AND IT'S ABOUT TIME HERKABE GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM. /rant XD
XD Thank you for laughing; I thought it was quite funny myself. XD And yeah, I was never much a fan of Jessica either. However, I can say two positive things about her: 1) She knows how to get stuff she wants. And 2) She dates really hot Asian guys. XD Otherwise, though, she was rather annoying.
I'll post as much as I can find, but, after looking through my folder, I found that there really aren't many good parts of my stuff I have in progress to cut out and post. It's kinda annoying. However, I have found something. It's from a fic I started about Dabney being fed up with Malcolm taking advantage of his (over) willingness to help him out. Dunno if I'll ever finish it, cos after reading over it again, I think Dabney--even a pissed off Dabney--is way out of character. Although I don't think this excerpt will show that.
Warning: This contains slight amounts of Reese/Malcolm. You can read it and ignore the slashy bits, because it's really only one sentence. But if you don't want to, y'all don't have to, of course.
As he turned the final corner into the courtyard, Dabney scanned the area. It was lunch time now, and everywhere students sat and mingled as they ate. The place was packed, as it usually was, and it was the perfect place for what Dabney had planned.
Walking into the crowd, Dabney spotted the table the Krelboynes normally sat at. Reese sat with Malcolm, not even attempting to act casually—he had an arm slung around Malcolm's waist. They both had their backs to him. Kevin and Lloyd, however, sat on the other side of the round table, and as Dabney approached they eyed him quizzically. He ignored them. Instead he brought his right hand back—the one holding the loudspeaker—and with all the force he could muster, smashed it against the side of Reese's head.
Reese yelped and fell to the ground, nearly pulling Malcolm with him. He looked up to face his attacker, holding his forehead, which now had a bleeding gash across it. Everyone at the table, and a few people from other tables, stared in shock.
Seeing it was Dabney that had struck him, Reese immediately began to snarl and started to get up. In one fluid motion Dabney brought up his XJ 7000, flipped off its safety switch, and shot a triple-round burst into Reese's chest at point-blank range. The wind taken out of him, Reese doubled over, gasping.
Malcolm's eyes quickly slipped from Reese to Dabney. What he felt was something akin to a mixture of horror, shock, and near panic. He eyed the paintball gun, which was still pointed at his brother.
"Dabney!" he yelled. "What the hell are you doing?!"
He started to get up, but suddenly found the muzzle of the paintball gun pointed at him.
"Sit down," Dabney snarled.
Critiques are welcome, of course.8/16/2010 #4
:) Thanks! Hope you're painless soon!
Haha, yeah, that Asian dude was hot! I dunno. I probably would've been okay with Jessica if she came in around the same time Cynthia did. So much harder for me to be sympathetic to those types of antagonists when you've really grown attached to the characters they're ragging on. I did like her in 'Secret Boyfriend' (I think that's the episode?), though...mostly because if Malcolm were a girl in that kind of relationship there'd be hell to pay, particularly considering his family, so it was good to see Jessica putting the girl down. /and there's MY rant, xD.
I like it! Maybe you're right that it doesn't show in this excerpt, but the only reason I think that it might be out of character is of Dabney's massively huge blind spot/tolerance towards Malcolm's attitude. And since that reached its breaking point in this fic, I can totally see it!
Dabney's whole paintball scene, culminating with his 'I'm your little man!' moment against his mom was his crowning moment of pure, undiluted awesome! It would be amazing to see something similar. So the throwback to the paintball gun is great, especially since Malcolm was the one who insisted he use it in the first place-- I could see Dabney calling it 'poetic justice'. Especially good premise since Dabney could be a j*** and still be sympathetic in the end; he deserves a few absolutely insane moments. :)
Same story. Still no warnings. This part is actually getting edited out. Which is a good thing; if it weren't for heavy cutting, I probably would have 'excerpted' the whole story on my profile by now. Some really awkward syntax, too.
Malcolm looks up, catches the eyes for a second but can't hold onto them. He looks back down in as rude of a way as he can manage. "What'd'you want, Lloyd?"
Peripherally, he can see Lloyd's almost-permanently-affixed smile flicker. Lloyd spends a few seconds not saying anything. Malcolm decides to take this as a sign that it's completely unimportant. He starts running his finger along the lines of his book, like how they'd made the kids follow along in his third-grade class, when he was still normal. It doesn't matter that he can't focus right now, that all his attention is on Lloyd, and it doesn't matter that if he could focus he'd be several paragraphs ahead of his finger. He just wants Lloyd to take the hint to get lost.
Except he doesn't. Not really. Not entirely.
Perhaps fortunately, then, Lloyd doesn't get the hint to leave. He's socially aware enough to understand that this is incredibly rude, but not enough to get the further implications.
Lloyd straightens up his back, holds his head up high, and says, "You know, just because we don't talk anymore doesn't mean we're not friends."
Malcolm drops his shoulders, rolls his head, scrunches up his face, sarcastic and derisive. "Uh, yeah. That's pretty much exactly what it means, Lloyd."
"All right," Lloyd says, and there's more strength in his voice than Malcolm thinks he's ever heard before. He sits across from Malcolm with a smooth, deliberate motion. "You're not my friend. I'm still yours."
"So you're a better person than me. Great."8/16/2010 . Edited 8/21/2010 #5
|Corpse In Bright Clothing
@ poxmaker: That first thing was funny. xP Even though I haven't seen any episodes with Jessica. Your excerpt with Dabney was insane, though. o-o Crazy! And kind of awesome. ... And scary. x3 I have lots of adjectives, here. :P
@ usedusernames: Wow. o-o After I haven't ever deigned myself worthy to review your stories, I realize I've never told you how amazing all of your writing is. o-o Both of your excerpts here were lovely, and I especially loved the second one, the one that's being edited--and it's cool to have a place like this to post things like that. "So you're a better person than me. Great." o-o Love.
Also, I feel like I have to say, if this is only for excerpts, I don't feel like there's much critique or anything that can be given, unless someone's looking for help with something tiny, specific. o-o I would appreciate any comments, though.
And here we go. poxmaker already knows about the story this is from. (and by the way, you, I kind of suddenly rewrote almost all the way to where the first chapter was going to end.) It's my lil old Reese/Malcolm fluff/angst fic, set around the first or second season, one I started around a year ago and just decided to go back to, thanks to poxmaker. There are no warnings for this, my tiny little excerpt:
Reese pretended Malcolm hadn't said anything, and he finished his breakfast sour. He pent up his violence until it was lunchtime at school, and he put on a grin, cracking his knuckles and saying, "I am so kicking some Krelboyne butt today." A kid who had been walking behind Reese acknowledged that heartily, exclaiming that the Krelboynes were freaks, and the next thing Reese knew, the kid was on the ground. And he sat next to Malcolm at dinner, sour once again but trying to hide it.8/21/2010 . Edited 8/21/2010 #6
Aww, thanks! Weird you've felt that way; I've felt too stupid to review your poetry! xD Glad you liked them, though! :)
Anyway. Your excerpt...WAY TOO SHORT. Definitely want to read more! Love Reese's emotions, and especially the succinct way of showing his hypocritical attitude when it comes to Malcolm and the Krelboynes. And, though this is sort of hard to explain, I really like the rhythm of it-- there's an unobtrusive almost...repetitiveness to the way the sentences are composed that makes it flow well, particularly with the mirroring of the first and last sentences. Can't wait to see the completed story.
Just commenting in this post; I only have the one story going, so excerpts from me would probably get redundant. :p8/21/2010 #7
|Corpse In Bright Clothing
Aw, you shouldn't feel stupid. I had been worrying about whether you'd like my poetry or not, until I read that post. :P And I think you're a really competent reviewer. As well as a writer. Mmhmm. Any praise you receive is well-deserved, in my opinion. [:
Ahh! Thanks so much for all your commenting! I love how you could see all that. (I guess I'm so used to most of the people in this website being like ten-year-old's that intelligence is like new for me again. x3) :D
I've very nearly finished with my first chapter, and I'm considering posting it soon. I'm excited for y'all to read it--craving your opinions and all. 8P8/22/2010 #8
|Corpse In Bright Clothing
I would love to receive a review from you for one of my poems. ... I'm not the only who sees how annoying I am, right? -angsts- -flails- [bad day ...]
Because I am a massive dork, the stupid ideas for crossovers have been "ruminatin'" in my head for a long time, and I wrote a little for one of them last night. The crossover would take place in the MitM universe and be the same with major elements of the other fandom mixed in. Once again, no warnings:
In the world there are more than five hundred different species of pokemon. If I managed to own a new species every three weeks, which I already feel is massively better than what my rate will actually ever be ... forget it.
My brother Reese's first pokemon was a Venonat, Bugface. Being nocturnal, he ... used to keep us up all night.
My little brother Dewey's first pokemon was a Snorunt called Larry. I thought Snorunt were supposed to bring homes good luck, but he's mostly just brought us the flu.
My older brother Francis had a Shellder for a first Pokemon. She must have been awesome, because Francis became a gym leader! And now we don't see him that often.
My name is Malcolm, and my first Pokemon was a Dunsparce I named Berk. Despite having wings and a somewhat sharply pointed tail, he seems to only be good for flailing around a lot.
It's ... awesome.
[Slight edit that doesn't really matter enough to be pointed out, but I thought 'sickness' sounded too serious to be funny.]8/29/2010 . Edited 10/3/2010 #9
:) I told you how awesome that crossover was in Skype. To reiterate: it's great!! Hope you're gonna keep up the frequent posting.....
Malcolm/Francis. Incesty. Also Malcolm's 12, which would make Francis 16/17.
It's easy to convince himself he's not in love with Francis.
...Because he's not.
They don't see each other often, with Francis in military school and all, so that explains everything. It explains the heart-pounding, palm-sweating excitement, the necessity to pull him into a hug when he stops by for a weekend or a birthday. And it explains having Francis' picture in his pillowcase, to be looked at every night. It explains calling every chance he can, and when they talk on the phone and Francis says, "Dude, you okay? You sound funny."
He can just answer, "Uh, yeah. Just need a glass of water." and if that doesn't cure the dryness of his throat, he can at least pretend it does.
It explains why he follows Francis around all summer long. It explains why he's so worried about Francis being away at Marlin; that maybe it'll make Francis realize having a dorky barely-12-year-old follow him around isn't the best time to be had. But Francis doesn't, Francis lets him stay around, and his heart beats so fast and his hands get so sweaty and he has to hug Francis at least once but it's only because Francis doesn't come around often so he's so happy and...
He can explain how all of that isn't related to any kind of real attraction.
Then one day Francis is babysitting.
They're sitting together in the bathroom. He's on the edge of the bathtub and Francis is on the toilet.
He has a long, deep cut from his knee to his ankle and Francis is cleaning it out for him. One of Francis' hands is on the middle of his thigh and his foot is in Francis' lap.
Francis' hand moves up a little higher.
Nothing indecent or anything.
But his brain goes fuzzy and he can't breathe and he can feel every beat of his heart in his chest and in his ears and in that wound on his leg. And he starts babbling about how the color of their bathroom is like Pepto-Bismol, which strikes him as funny because his stomach is definitely upset (he regrets saying that part out loud. Considering the look on his brother's face, Francis probably thinks he's about to have a case of explosive diarrhea or something)... and then he gets off the bathtub and Francis tells him he's getting blood on the floor and Francis grabs him by the shoulders to make him sit back down and....
Francis being the first person he kisses with tongue is hard for him to explain away.
And a genderbender fic (i***, Mallory/Reese):
When she's having a bad day, she might cry, "I'm ugly and I'm fat!" punctuated by a sharp sob, a dramatic hurling of herself onto the bed, and maybe a loud, "God, no wonder I can't get anyone besides my brother!" (this part smartly excluded when it's anyone but the two of them in the house.)
Reese comforts this way:
"I love every ugly, fat part of you." and, "You look gross when you cry, so knock it off."10/8/2010 . Edited 10/14/2010 #10
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