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Lolli-S

So, I've been reading through Year One recently and well, I realized that it definitely could be better. A LOT better. I wasn't exactly the best writer then (and I'm still not really), but I feel like there's so much more I can add. This thread is for just discussing Year One in general and how we can add some things to make it better. I'm open to any suggestions and I'll also be showing everyone scenes and parts that will be added as well.

12/3/2011 #1
Mysteryless

RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT!

Platonic (The M's, Soul Snakes, etc.) and romantic (Logan X Roux, Jett X Rietta, Shane X Jewel, etc.)!

12/3/2011 #2
Lolli-S

Alright, that's a reasonable request. :D

I also wanted to focus on the teachers a bit more as well.

12/3/2011 #3
Mysteryless

The Pokemon need more focus as well.

12/3/2011 #4
Lolli-S

DEFINITELY.

You took the words right off my keyboard. xD

12/3/2011 #5
Mysteryless

You might want to focus more on the other three mains. For example, ZK and her sexuality. To people who don't frequent the forums, her and Becca's relationship was probably a bit unexpected and sudden.

12/3/2011 #6
Lolli-S

As far as ZK goes, I probably should bring her in earlier so I can work on that. She didn't come in til like chapter 19 or 20, if I recall.

12/3/2011 #7
Mysteryless

Well, you can always include ZK's thoughts in the second last chapter where she helps Emma.

Also, I think Roux needs a bit more fleshing out in Y1 as well. She's just so mysterious that I can't even get a grasp on her personality. xD

12/3/2011 #8
Lolli-S

Well her personality is that she's a mysterious (albiet outgoing) loner-by-choice, but yeah, we need to see more of her and add some more to her.

I've gotten Ethan more figured out since next to the M's, I believe he was getting most of Shane's abuse, right?

12/3/2011 #9
Mysteryless

I think so.

12/3/2011 #10
Lolli-S

There was this scene in Tallow's class that I was going to add about Ethan going through his backpack looking for his homework...

12/3/2011 #11
Mysteryless

He didn't find it, did he? XD

12/3/2011 #12
Lolli-S

Nope.

He dumps his backpack on his desk, but all of the contents have been replaced with stocks of...corn...

12/3/2011 #13
Mysteryless

Umm...

At least he can eat them...? xD

12/3/2011 #14
Lolli-S

Well, they're not cooked...xD

Emma and Lyra's backpacks had the same thing in it too.

12/3/2011 #15
Mysteryless

Real mature, Clarke...

12/3/2011 #16
Lolli-S

How'd you know it was him? xD

12/3/2011 #17
Mysteryless

Only Shane or one of the other Soul Snakes would be immature enough to do something like that. xD

12/3/2011 #18
Lolli-S

Well, you're absolutely correct. It was Shane. xD

12/3/2011 #19
Mysteryless

This reminds me...

Didn't you have bullying scenes for us? XD

12/3/2011 #20
Lolli-S

You guys really want to see scenes with Shane just going around being a dick to everyone? xD

12/3/2011 #21
Mysteryless

Actually, I do. xD

12/3/2011 #22
Lolli-S

This is semi-related, but there's actually a part in Y3 where Horace explains to Logan that every generation of Louhearst students has its bullies and that every generation has it's 'big' rivalry between two students.

12/3/2011 #23
Mysteryless

Well, bullies are pretty much everywhere anyways.

12/3/2011 #24
Lolli-S

The previous one had Samuel and Owen as the bullies for their first two years and then had Samuel and Owen as bitter rivals for their last two years.

12/3/2011 #25
Mysteryless

And the next has Evan and...well...who is his rival? XD

12/3/2011 #26
Lolli-S

Lola is his rival.

12/3/2011 #27
Brave Soul RMS

Minor character screen time! Like some of the ones who were intro'd in Y2. They sorta just popped outta nowhere.

12/3/2011 #28
Mysteryless

Oh right. xD

And I agree with Brave.

12/3/2011 #29
Lolli-S

Of course I'm going to add the minor characters.

It's not really that many of them when you think about it considering a majority of them are Seathroulers.

12/3/2011 #30
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