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MidnighttheDragon

No idea why the other one was deleted. anyway this is a thread for writers to help each other with questions. whether it be opinions, ideas, grammar, spelling, whatever.

7/21/2010 #1
The Grim Reader

Thank god. I need this badly obviously. Check for any errors while I type.

7/21/2010 #2
MidnighttheDragon

okay, go ahead.

7/21/2010 #3
The Grim Reader

Now what should I type about? Anything that comes to mind?

7/21/2010 #4
MidnighttheDragon

hmm..try to describe an underwater cave filled with crystals.

7/21/2010 #5
O. Gallan Rager

I deleted the last one because no one wanted to use it! T.T. I kept asking if anyone needed help.

7/21/2010 #6
MidnighttheDragon

well apparently Grim didn't realize he needed it until I BETA'd his story.

7/21/2010 #7
The Grim Reader

Okay.... Deep within the murky depths of the sea lie a cavern that was a sight to behold, if you could reach it. Getting on his scuba gear Mike wanted to see it. So he dove down into the water. After diving for a few hundred feet down, he spotted it. It was hard to miss. Then he swam into the cave. He couldn't believe his eyes. There inside the cave he was a marvelous assortment of crystals and gem formations the likes of which you couldn't find anywhere else in the world. It made a sort of rainbow effect from the light glittering off the surface of the cavern. (So how was that?)

7/21/2010 #8
MidnighttheDragon

Deep within the murky depths of the sea laid a cavern that was a sight to behold, if you could reach it. Mike wanted to see it so he got on his scuba gear. He dove down into the water and after diving for a few hundred feet down, he spotted it; it was hard to miss. Then he swam into the cave and couldn't believe his eyes.(try to combine sentences it makes the story flow better) There, inside the cave he was a marvelous assortment of crystals and gem formations the likes of which you couldn't find anywhere else in the world. It made a sort of rainbow effect from the light glittering off the surface of the cavern. (So how was that?)

it was pretty good though once you actually get there you should try your damndest to make it as descriptive as possible, so the audience can have a clear picture.

7/21/2010 #9
The Grim Reader

Thanks. That obviously wasn't descriptive enough. Am I right?

7/21/2010 #10
MidnighttheDragon

Yeah. Here at the workshop we focus on JUST describing the scene, not WHY someone is going there or even THAT someone is going there. (Capitalize first word of sentence Try again and JUST describe the cavern. No less than 7 sentences.

7/21/2010 . Edited by The Grim Reader, 7/21/2010 #11
O. Gallan Rager

Only one thing, you forgot a comma after the word scuba gear.

7/21/2010 #12
The Grim Reader

(Okay.....this workshop is starting to freak me out. I'll do it on the next post.)

7/21/2010 #13
MidnighttheDragon

how is it freaking you out?

7/21/2010 #14
The Grim Reader

(Look at your post. I edited it. Secondly, that is called plot. I can't just not have a plot, my story will feel naked. POST 11 Midnight.)

7/21/2010 . Edited 7/21/2010 #15
MidnighttheDragon

(I know about grammer Grim, but unless I am posting on a RP or typing for a story I don't really care)(and Grim this is just describing the scene, you don't NEED a plot here. just pretend your cahracter JUST arrived, here, I'll give you an example in my next post)

7/21/2010 #16
The Grim Reader

(No, it's fine. I'll just do it in first person. Can we please have something else?)

7/21/2010 #17
MidnighttheDragon

(this is just describing the SCENE you do not need plot to describe a scene, pretend the plot has already existed, just write a desription like this:

Bolt's jaw nearly hit the floor as he noticed a jet black dragon, his scales seeming to radiate darkness from their every pore. His legs were thick as tree trunks and his chest was larger than any barrel he had ever seen. He had a blood red underbelly that seemed to be dripping with flaming energy. He had amethyst eyes like Spyro, and dark, evil-looking navy blue wing membranes on the bottom. He continued staring at the dragon's largely overdeveloped muscles. The dragon did not even have a six-pack, but instead a 10-pack.. If anything described the term 'muscle GOD' it was the dragon that stood before him. Though despite his dark and demonic looking status, he bore a large grin and was smiling and waving.

He shook his head quickly to clear his thoughts. He turned to the dragoness next to him and nearly fainted from shock. She seemed to contrast him in every way possible. She was sleek and very smooth in her movements. She had glowing white scales that made him need to cover his eyes a bit. They seemed to radiate the same pure white glow of the full moon basking its light upon the earth. He stared at her underbelly; it was a beautiful blue that looked as if she had taken the sky from a clear summer day and placed it upon her chest. He stared under her wings and they were a beautiful gold that shone brightly in the sun from the skylight above, basking the entire audience with a golden glow.)

7/21/2010 #18
The Grim Reader

(Damn you type fast. I need to learn how to type too. Also, bore means wearing right?)

7/21/2010 #19
MidnighttheDragon

(yes)(and I didn't type that all NOW that was a copy and paste from one of my stories)

7/21/2010 #20
The Grim Reader

(So then why hasn't anyone said anything to me in my previous story The Days Ahead?)

7/21/2010 #21
MidnighttheDragon

(what do you mean?)

7/21/2010 #22
The Grim Reader

(Well I obviously have a problem now. It would have probably been fixed by now if someone had said something. Check it. I'm sure it has one of those past/present tense problems.)

7/21/2010 #23
MidnighttheDragon

(u want me to BETA The Days Ahead even though you already finished it?)

7/21/2010 #24
The Grim Reader

(No, I'm saying just look at it. You obviously are a little late on BETAing that fossil.)

7/21/2010 . Edited 7/21/2010 #25
MidnighttheDragon

(ok when I get time I'll look.)

7/21/2010 #26
The Grim Reader

(So again, I just got a review. Bane saids he had trouble telling good from evil in that chapter. Good.)

7/21/2010 #27
MidnighttheDragon

(Bane?)

7/21/2010 #28
The Grim Reader

(An author. Bane7670.)

7/21/2010 #29
MidnighttheDragon

(he stole your char! lol)(seriously. though. okay...hmm...write about a dark forest. JUST the forest! be as descriptive as possible. use at least 7 sentences)

7/21/2010 #30
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