I don't want to cliff any of them either, but since Merlin and Lance are both so hot...
From Firefly: Mal Reynolds, Zoe Washburne, Kaylee Frye1/6/2012 #241
Someone will need to straighten this post out but... YOUISMADEIMPOSSIBLE Cliff. I wouldn't be able to! Well.... Okay. Cliff: Mal (because that dude just might survive. ;P) Shag: Zoe (because she is effing HAWT and one of the most absolutely beautiful women on that show. And she's so freaking strong.) Marry: Kaylee (because she's adorable, and sooo lovable. I could seriously, and easily see myself spending the rest of my life with her. -nods-) hmmmm....Maximus, Kitai, and Tavi from Codex of Alera.1/6/2012 #242
D: Why are you so horrible, bro? You know what I think about all of them!
Cliff: Max. His hard head would probably ensure that he survives the fall anyway.
Shag: Kitai. 'Nuff said.
Marry: Tavi, for the sake that his awesomeness is actually palpable. Like, you turn the pages and it's like his aura just smacks you right in the face and as;dklfjalfkdja;kldsjfafkldsj TAVI. -fangasms-
Red, Gold, and Ruby from Pokémon Adventures/Pokémon Special.1/6/2012 #243
(I had typed out a whole long, humours post, and then the site ate it.)
So anyway, I gave in and went and looked these dudes up on a wiki. Turns out I'd be far more likely to cliff all three.
Cliff: Ruby - he's 12, so I'd get arrested if I tried to shag or marry him. (ignoring the fact that I'd probably still get arrested for shoving him off a cliff)
Marry: Red - apparently, he's "sensitive"
From Star Wars: Jabba the Hutt, Jar Jar Binks, Emperor Palpatine
(Has I made impossible shag? Oh, I hope. :D *evil laugh*)1/9/2012 #244
Okay, don't know the characters so guessing here based on the names cuz that's funny.
Cliff: Jabba the Hut
Shag: Emperor Palpatine.
Marry: Jar Jar Binks
Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Gladstone Gladner.1/9/2012 #245
Ohgod. I feel dirty picking from these choices. D8
Cliff: Gladstone. Don't think I even know who that is
MUPPET THEME! Just to keep up with the awkwardness: Kermit, Animal, Beaker.1/31/2012 #246
Oh, ew, yeah...still creepy! :P
Cliff: Animal (poor guy...)
Shag: Beaker (lol)
Marry: Kermit (He's really quite charming and responsible; good quialities for a husband!)
Supernatural (angels) theme (to maybe get away from the awkward...): Castiel, Balthazar, Gabriel1/31/2012 . Edited 1/31/2012 #247
Oh, you know I was going to jump on this right away
Cliff: Balthy. Even though he ships Destiel as much as I do, he's just not my type.
Shag: Gabriel. Man knows how to party.
Marry: Castiel. He's so pretty. 8D
Moar Supernatural! Hunters!: Christian Campbell, Rufus, Jo1/31/2012 #248
Oh sure, you go and pick the less sexy ones... :P
Shag: Rufus (but not really...)
Marry: Jo (if I was into girls and all... *shifty eyes*)
Even MOAR Supernatural! Old and Dead people (ie parental figures)!: John Winchester, Marry Winchester, Ellen Harvelle1/31/2012 #249
Well, I was going to pick Sam, Dean and Bobby, but I figured that would be too obvious, lol.
Cliff: Ellen. She's badass, but she ain't no Mary Winchester
Shag: John Winchester. He's sexy, but he's quite the poor father figure.
Marry: Mary Winchester, because she's badass. Except it probably wouldn't work out, seeing as it didn't work out for John.
MOAR SUPERNATURAL! Because, why not? DEMONS: Crowley, Meg, Alistair.1/31/2012 #250
At least you made this cliff easy for me. :D
Cliff: Alistair (the guy just has no redeeming qualities whatsoever)
Shag: Crowley (He is kinda sexy, but totally not trustworthy)
Marry: Meg (because, um, least of all the evils?)
Are we running out of Supernatural? Not yet! Random people we haven't said yet: Adam Milligan, Ash, Death1/31/2012 #251
Cliff:Ash. Shag:Adam, he's cute, maybe not as hot as his brothers but cute. Marry: Death, power is very attractive. .... Disney Princesses Jazmine, Snow White and Cinderella1/31/2012 #252
Cliff: Snow White (no contest; she's so bloody obnoxious and Tastes Like Diabetes)
(I'd already decided which one to shag and which to marry, but my brother pointed out "logic" for my choices: "You shag the sexy one, and you marry the one who will clean your floors." Apparently my brother is a very bad person.)
Disney Princes then: Prince Charming from Snow White, Prince Charming from Cinderella, and Prince Achmed from Aladin.1/31/2012 #253
Cliff: Prince Charming from Snow White. Never trusted that guy, in the original story he was a necrophiliac.
Shag: Prince Charming from Cinderella. He's got that smoldering Teutonic thing going on.
Marry: Prince Achmed. Sure, he's kind of a douche, but he's loaded like a magnum.
Wolverine, Commissioner Gordon (as played by Gary Oldman), Eddard Stark.2/5/2012 #254
Oooh, good ones.
Cliff: Wolverine because I have no standing emotional attachment to him
Now it gets tough...there are pros and cons for both of these. Ummm...
Shag: Eddard Stark - I love Winterfell, but knowing what's in store for the Starks, I wouldn't want to get too wrapped up with them.
Marry: Commissioner Gordon - I guess the Gordon family has their fair share of problems, but I think he'd make a much warmer husband than Ned, somehow. =P
In keeping with the theme, how about Bruce Wayne, Jaime Lannister and Ron Weasley2/5/2012 #255
Edit: opps, Emily beat me too it! (and even sorted them out the same way!)
[Arg, how can i possibly cliff any of these guys?! :( :'(
Cliff: Wolverine (he'd survive, so it'd be okay!)
Shag: Eddard Stark (and probably get knocked up with one of his bastards...he tends to do that...)
Marry: Commissioner Gordon (he's all responsible and a good father and stuff)
From Game of Thrones (because in the books, they're all so young you'd get arrested!): John Snow, Robb Stark, Jeoffrey Baratheon] Ignore all this! :P
Bruce Wayne, Jaime Lannister and Ron Weasley
Cliff: Jamie (ugh, I don't care if he *is* good-looking; he's evil and incestuous.)
Shag: Ron (not really, but...)
Marry: Bruce Wayne (not only is he loaded, but he's smart, *and* handsome! ^_^)
Let's go with sort of the same thing then... The Joker, Tyrion Lannister, and Lucius Malfoy2/5/2012 . Edited 2/5/2012 #256
Cliff: The Joker. Self-defense. He'll come come for vengeance, without a doubt, but that's a problem for the future.
Marry: Tyrion. He's a cool mofo, and while our sex life won't be active, we could plot together. That'd rock.
Shag: I wouldn't want to marry Lucius (I'd be marrying all his enemies as well, including the Order and the Death Eaters), and I needed the cliff for more pressing concerns.
Sniper Wolf, Ditto, Master Chief2/5/2012 #257
Cliff: Ditto (I can only assume that you mean Ditto from Pokemon, and, well...non-sentient amorpious blobs of purple slime have never really been my..."thing")
Shag: Sniper Wolf (sexy, but seems a bit too wacko to be in a serious relationship)
Marry: Master Chief (he seems pretty responsible and stuff)
Moar random video game characters: Link (the adult, not the little kid version) from Legend of Zelda, Yuna from Final Fantasy X, and Jade from Beyond Good and Evil.2/6/2012 #258
Had to look up two of them
Cliff: Link. I'm a dude interested in chicks, so obviously it's gonna be the other dude who takes a nose dive. Nothing personal, Link; in a different "what if" scenario you and I coulda been comrades.
Marry: These two were difficult, because they are both attractive, good-spirited, all around awesome chicks. However, I am the kind of guy who gets injured a lot. As in, a LOT. Therefore, the chick with healing powers would be handier long term. Yuna gets the ring...
Shag: ...and Jade the consolation prize.
Lizzie Borden, The White Witch (from "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"), Cersei (from "A Song of Ice and Fire")2/7/2012 #259
Cliff: Lizzie Borden. The less deranged axe murderers who are out to get me, the better.
Shag: Cersei. I mean...look at her. I'd tap that so hard.
Marry: The White Witch. That way, I get to be the king of a ghost kingdom on a planet whose sun died on it and now has no source of heat and light. Who wouldn't want that? XD
While we're on the topic of ASOIAF, let's go with Davos Seaworth, Daenerys Targaryen, and Syrio Forel.2/7/2012 #260
Marry: Daenarys Targaryen. Quite apart from being a nubile, passionate, gorgeous woman, she's also all set to be Queen of the world. (I'm only a third of the way through A Dance with Dragons, and god knows G. R. R. Martin sees targets where we see characters, but nonetheless this is the horse I'm backing.) World conquest is long cherished dream of mine. My first decree from the Iron Throne will be an officially sanctioned genocide against Houses Bolton and Frey. I almost included Lannister, but then considered the old tune of "The Rains of Castamere" and decided to play it safe.
Shag: Davos. It's either this is or kill him, and he has a wife and children to go home to.
Cliff: Sorry, dude. But its not like we got to know you for too long, did we, Syrio?
The President of the United States (as played by Michael Sheen), the President of the United States (as played by Harrison Ford), Gandhi.
Am I not a cruel, soulless abomination? :)2/7/2012 #261
Cliff: President Micheal Sheen (because Harrison Ford is hotter, and being Welsh he has no business being President of the United States anyway)
Shag: President Harrison Ford
Marry: Gandhi (because, well, he's freaking Gandhi; all patience and goodness and stuff)
From DC comics and related fandoms: Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman2/7/2012 #262
Shag: Wonder Woman (because she's the only woman)
Marry: Batman (because he's mysterious and awesome and way more interesting than Superman)
Sherlock Holmes, Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory, and the eleventh doctor in Doctor Who (all asexual characters, because that's all I can think of at the moment)2/7/2012 #263
Cliff: Sheldon (because I don't know him, and I'm too lazy to look him up)
Shag: Sherlock Holmes (regardless of if we're talking RDJ or Benedict Cumberbach, he's still impossibly hot, but not really what I'd consider "marriage material".)
Marry: The Eleventh Doctor (I can't think of...anything better than being married to a guy who can take you anywhere in all of time and space, is a freaking genius, and is also extremely adorable in pretty much every way)
Doctor Companions: Adric, Rorry Williams, River Song2/8/2012 #264
Cliff: Adric (don't know too much about Classic Who - and I like the other two better)
Shag: River (Fiesty, and ALL THAT HAIR!)
Marry: Rory (Have I mentioned how much of a Rory fangirl I am? I adore him. He's too cute.)
MOAR COMPANIONS!: Jack Harkness, Jackson Lake, Canton Delaware2/8/2012 #265
Cliff: Canton (I don't think he'd be too interested in shagging or marrying me anyway... :P )
Shag: Jack Harkness (He's all kinds of awesome, but not exactly the marrying kind. lol)
Marry: Jackson Lake (He's really sweet and stuff...I love him to bits. ^_^)
MOAR compaions (all female this time!!): Tegan Jovanka, Martha Jones, Donna Noble2/9/2012 #266
Cliff: Tegan Jovanka. I only watched the show on David Tennant's run, so I have no idea who this is. Male? Female? Awesome? A jerk? Don't know. I'll chuck the uncertainty and go with the peeps I know.
Marry: I hated Donna's guts for the first half dozen episodes she was in. She was way too shrill, whiney, and belligerent. However, as she got more characterization, she became one of my favorite characters in all of fiction. When she got mind wiped back to her old personality, a little part of my soul withered and died with a cry of anguish.
I'd want to marry someone who I'll like better everyday, and grieve for when her time comes.
Shag: Martha. Hells yeah.
Sam Spade, Harry Dresden, Shaft2/9/2012 #267
I have to admit I didn't really know much at all about any of these guys, so I did a quick googlesearch, and so these choices will be based almost entirely off their physical appearance. Shallow, I know.
Cliff: Shaft - He just seems so bloody cocky and arrogant, I don't think I could stand to be near him for more than 5 mins.
Shag: Sam Spade
Marry: Harry Dresden - He's certainly the best-looking of the three, and also he seems to have a rather awesome adventurous lifestyle, and I'm all about the adventure. ^_^
From X-Men: First Class...Charles Xavier, Erik Lensherr, Hank McCoy (pre-blue and furry, if you prefer lol)2/27/2012 #268
Cliff: Hank ('Cause he's blue, dab boo dee dab boo die)
Shag: Erik ('Cause Michael Fassebender, and because)
Marry: Xavier (Except maybe not because if he tried to read my mind I'd have to divorce him so fast)
Oh hell, let's go more X-men: Gambit, Nightcrawler, Cyclops2/27/2012 #269
(heh I think I personally would just *let* Charles read my mind....*blush*)
Cliff: Cyclops - He's just a bit too boring, compared to the other two.
Shag: Gambit - He makes Cajun accents sexy! ^_^
Marry: Nightcrawler - Seems a weird choice, I guess, but he's an all-around great guy! All moral and kind. Plus, he could take me anywhere I wanted to go in the blink of an eye. :D
Even MOAR X-Men: Wolverine, Mystique, Darwin2/27/2012 #270
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