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Lilly Valens

I really, really have no idea what to say for this one I just got...

On my Band of Brothers oneshot "Back to the Rolling Hills":

y no lilly or scotty :o( ?

Uh, the summary clearly says it's about Pvt. White from Band of Brothers. Wrong fandom entirely...all I can surmise is they clicked on the wrong story. Even so, the Cold Case stories are clearly marked about which characters are in those stories.

5/30/2012 #301
truthsetfree

Even so, the Cold Case stories are clearly marked about which characters are in those stories.

Yes, but as I've come to learn, nobody ever reads that stuff.

5/30/2012 #302
Rosawyn

Wow, so I just got an anonymous review that told said "kill yourself you sick **"

Wow. What fic was that on? Not that it probably matters, since the person likely didn't even read the fic...

5/30/2012 #303
ShadedRogue

Wow. What fic was that on? Not that it probably matters, since the person likely didn't even read the fic...

"Point Break". One of my Death Note ones.

6/9/2012 #304
Lilly Valens

"Point Break". One of my Death Note ones.

Messed up, indeed.

6/10/2012 #305
Mottsnave

I finally got a WTF review last year (I was feeling a little left out with all the intelligent reviewers I had). It was very direct and to the point: "Worst story ever. Needs more spanking."

When you know what you like, you know what you like, I guess. When I picked myself up from where I was rolling around laughing, I also noticed that the same reviewer had put me on their favorites list, so thank you for that, spankmaster.

6/10/2012 #306
Endfall

Not quite a review since this story feedback was delivered directly via PM, but here you go.

PM-Sender: OK you're fic i written decnetly I guess, but why is narutpo suddenly being a psycho? Like, inn rely good storys, he actualy reacs REALISTICLY to the violence so you see him cry, and have emotional about being killed or seing bad things. Ur naruto just feals like a cold blondded killer.

Like, inn rely good storys, he actualy reacs REALISTICLY to the violence so you see him cry, and have emotional about being killed or seing bad things.

REALISTICLY to the violence so you see him cry, and have emotional about being killed

and have emotional about being killed

Wat.

Also of note:

cold blondded killerNote where the "o" and "d" keys of the keyboard are in relation to the "n" key.

6/11/2012 . Edited 6/11/2012 #307
Wendy Brune

When people can't differentiate between "in" and "inn," I can no longer take them seriously. Much less "your" and "you're," and...nope, I can't even continue to correct this becaue my brain will melt.

6/11/2012 #308
The Death Frisbee

Maybe "Narutpo" is going to an inn in this story, you guys, and has to rely on that inn and swear some fealty to it or something. REALISTICLY. Also, there is a tradition of the icy blond-haired killer. Is "Narutpo" played by Peter Stormare? Inquiring minds want to know.

6/11/2012 #309
truthsetfree

A part of me is impressed with how many things are wrong with that review. I mean, surely some sort of effort had to go into making that so full of so many different kinds of errors.

6/11/2012 #310
Endfall

Maybe "Narutpo" is going to an inn in this story, you guys, and has to rely on that inn and swear some fealty to it or something. REALISTICLY. Also, there is a tradition of the icy blond-haired killer. Is "Narutpo" played by Peter Stormare? Inquiring minds want to know.

I very nearly did a real life spit-take at this awesome reply.

A part of me is impressed with how many things are wrong with that review. I mean, surely some sort of effort had to go into making that so full of so many different kinds of errors.My working hypothesis is that it was drunk-typed from a phone with one of those tiny slide-out keyboards, on a model without word suggestions, etc. It's really the only thing that makes sense, when considering "blondded".

6/11/2012 #311
The Death Frisbee

Thanks, Ultima Grey! To be fair, I am a horrible texter due to awkward disability hand/lack of practice (today's gem: "Am at Hotel Would WouLD YOU like Me to wait FOR students" [sic]) so now I feel bad. :( But at least I spelled it all correctly!

6/11/2012 #312
Rosawyn

So I hadn't gotten a review in a while, and I got all excited when I saw the email informing me of a new review on my fic "Outstretched Wings, Left Tattered." Turns out, though, that this is what I got:

A chair to sit in. A glass to drink from. A chair to stand from. A glass to fill.

It makes me wonder if there is some code or joke or meme or something here...or if this person just got really high and started pulling random words form a hat or something. I just don't get it. In all seriousness, this is actually a time where I'd prefer to have gotten an "it's good; i liked it."

6/15/2012 #313
darkaccalia520

Wow, Rosa, that is very...odd. Since I've read the story, I can't see where it fits in at all. I'm guessing it's some joke...or your other guess seems about right too.

I guess I'm pretty lucky; my reviews usually make sense and sound coherent. Since so many post in here, I'm beginning to think I'm the minority. :/

6/16/2012 #314
Morta's Priest

My new story has it share of annoying reviews:

I found this chapter to be terrible Just that... well, that was helpful. I requested details, and this is a quote from the response I got : [you] seem to have some mental deficiencies, as the sentence structure is terrible and suggests some type of psychosis. I'll refrain form further critisism so as to not come across as a douchebag. ... Yeah.

6/16/2012 #315
TheFictionFairy

[you] seem to have some mental deficiencies, as the sentence structure is terrible and suggests some type of psychosis. I'll refrain from further criticism so as to not come across as a douchebag.

(Too late.)

Yeah, that's... odd. It seems to me that this is one of those pretentious people who like to arbitrarily declare things good or bad, but don't back themselves up with any good reasons/examples because they don't have any. (And what little I've read of Wand and Shield - that is the new one, right? - has been nothing but excellent.)

6/16/2012 #316
The Death Frisbee

Morta's Priest: Anyone who can't spell 'criticism' surely is not the cream of the crop, let alone that the person doesn't know the difference between a deficient mind and a psychotic one. Kick the dust off your heels.

6/16/2012 #317
Morta's Priest

Wand and Shield's the new one, yeah - got a LOT of attention for whatever reason so there's bound to be odd reviews.

I think you reviewed in the tag thread, right? Thanks. :)

Regarding that response - I checked out the page of the person in question and, eh, he's got nothing to be proud of. (If I were a vindictive bastard I'd link it since it's... pretty bad.)

6/16/2012 . Edited 6/16/2012 #318
Lilly Valens

A chair to sit in. A glass to drink from. A chair to stand from. A glass to fill.

This reminds me of a child (a true to life book) I read about in a book by Torey Hayden. Under some sort of stress, the girl would utter such random sayings as these when Torey asked her to do things like a math paper. Maybe Alice has returned?

6/18/2012 . Edited 6/20/2012 #319
Fantastic Nonsense

I once got this review to my multi-chaptered American Dragon fic:

Glad you've submitted a new chapter in time for Chinese New Year (which is this Thursday), it's gonna be the year of the Rabbit this year and in 2012, it's the year of the Dragon and it comes every 12 years. _ :D I know this is off topic but the other dragon hero Jake Long has a lot in common with is Spyro the Dragon from the original Spyro series. They are both young dragons, they are both heroes, their jobs are kinda similar, they have a circle of friends and allies, they both encountered enemies that hated dragons, they already faced dragons that are evil, they can skateboard, they both have a best friend who acts like an idiot, they are both cocky, arrogant and have little regard for their safety, they both have a friend who was formely on the bad side but then switched sides later on (Bianca, in the Spyro series case and Rose/Huntsgirl, in the cartoon's case), they are both been called "dragon-boy" (Sheila the Faun from Fracture Hills in Spyro 2: Gateway To Glimmer called Spyro "dragon-boy") and the list goes on. Oh, and I almost forgot, Spyro debuted in the game, "Spyro the Dragon", in 1998 for the PlayStation One. By the way, Spyro 3: Year of the Dragon was obviously named after one of the creatures from the Chinese Zodiac and the game was released in 2000, it was indeed the year of the Dragon at the time. Anyway, in days like this for example, I don't like how things are going nowadays, sometimes I wish I was a kid again and revisit my past or rather, stay in it. :( Do you ever get that sort of feeling sometimes? I think I've got a strong immune system 'cause my younger sis says that I never get sick... well, almost. I think I get sick at least once. By the by, is the last part was after Johnathon hugging Jake? In my opinion, Cantonese is a little more easier to speak than other Chinese dialects. I sometimes/rarely say "Ai-yah", it's a typical thing to say for Chinese people. I think it's more of a sensible way to say, rather than cursing yourself. It's been 5 years since I last went to Hong Kong during the Summer holiday with my family. It will be hard to head back there to um... pray for grandma or pay respects to her. For me, I tend to call her "ah-mah", that's Cantonese for grandmother or grandma.

And then in their next review:

I noticed that after I watched a few episodes and re-playing my collection of old-school Spyro games. Spyro and Jake definitely have a lot in common but they do also have a lot of differences like for instance, Spyro is an actual dragon without a human form and Jake is half-human, half-dragon. Sometimes, I started to wonder if Jeff Goode got inspired from the original Spyro series but that's ridiculous. But ironically, Clancy Brown, who voiced the Dark Dragon, voiced some of the dragons from "Spyro the Dragon". Anyway, it's a lovely, romantic and funny ending between the two. :) I still remember the first time I saw Hong Kong at night but very vaguely. Not to mention, it's very busy 'cause the shops, shopping centres and the facilities are still open. Back in the Summer of 2006, my family and I did a lot of late-night shopping 'til our feet and legs are really sore. _ I've never been to the harbour so I don't know what it's really like. Anyhoo, I just so happen to have a calendar that has a picture of Hong Kong at night with all the creatures of the Chinese Zodiac at the front, the Rabbit is obviously at the middle. I'd say Jake and Rose should use their dream charms to enter each other's dreams, send e-mails to each other, go on forums or chat rooms or phone one another, that way they can still be together. Nah, I don't think you ended this story abruptedly. I think you ended it nicely. Oh, boy... Jake is sure gonna get what's comin' to him! :-O

The reviews had very little to do with the story and just left me...well, going 'What the heck?' There were little bits of talk about the story in there, but not much. They just kept going on and on about these kinds of things, even after I specifically stated I had no knowledge of anything in that fandom or some of the stuff they were talking about. *shrug* Maybe a spammer who decided to mix in the spam with a little actual review?

6/20/2012 . Edited 6/20/2012 #320
Rosawyn

@Morta's Priest, I haven't read your fic, but I did take a look at the first couple paragraphs (because I was curious after reading your post here), and I can tell you that there is NOTHING at all wrong with your "sentence structure." My best guess is that either this person simply hates the fic for whatever reason, or that they didn't even read it and just enjoy saying rude things in reviews on random fics.

@Lilly Valens, I've never read that book, but I suppose it's a possibility? If that's the case, though, I guess maybe it means that my fic caused this person stress? XD

@Fantastic Nonsense, my eyes glazed over trying to read those reviews. Ugh. Maybe someone told this person that longer reviews = better reviews, but the point has never really been abut LENGTH, but about content...and this content just seems to be someone gushing over a totally unrelated fandom. Pretty bizarre.

6/20/2012 #321
MessengerOfDreams

I got one from an Anonymous reviewer for this story I wrote in the Smash Section called Skyward to Freedom, which is pretty much about Fox McCloud and Princess Zelda pulling a rebellious show on Master Hand and other emotional stuff otherwise. Now this Anon review is strange... not because it was trolling me or saying mean things... but... this is all he had to say.

For some reason I think EHWIES. :P

Anonymous 7/13/11 . chapter 2I can show you the world

6/27/2012 #322
The Death Frisbee

Anonymous 7/13/11 . chapter 2I can show you the world

Shining, shimmering, splendid; tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?

... I have to assume you weren't writing Aladdin fanfic. But I can't decide whether it's a shout-out to Aladdin, a really bad last-call come-on from the only bar in Podunk County, or Francis Dolarhyde about to lead into "Can you see? CAN YOU SEE?" Perhaps, somehow, it's all three. I can only hope.

6/28/2012 #323
truthsetfree

... I have to assume you weren't writing Aladdin fanfic. But I can't decide whether it's a shout-out to Aladdin, a really bad last-call come-on from the only bar in Podunk County, or Francis Dolarhyde about to lead into "Can you see? CAN YOU SEE?" Perhaps, somehow, it's all three. I can only hope.

For The Win.

6/28/2012 #324
Obrusnine

Well, when my Inheritance Cycle story was on hiatus, I got this string of really odd reviews from an anonymous source. He had is name in all capitals every time he reviewed a chapter, (it was MURTAGH, until the end where it was ERAGON) and he was screaming criticism at my plot decisions (which were made a few years ago). He also had really bad grammar and talked like he was using a phone to text it up. I remember thinking he was really annoying...

In fact, I'm going to go and get rid of those reviews right now! :)

Or not, because I misunderstood how the "Moderate Reviews" function works, .

7/6/2012 . Edited 7/6/2012 #325
StormyMonday

This is a review posted on one of my friend's stories. I'm not even sure what's going on here... (Edited out the reviewer's name because he/she actually signed it.)

Et voila! Deisen reviewen ist heir! (I just made up the deutsch as I went) Anyways! Here is your review! Veriew! Viewre! (And other meaningless versions of 'review') And now, farewell! Naamarie! Auf weldeshtein (or something like that) Au revior! Sayonara! P.S 'sayonara' is actually quite a common and informal word for 'goodbye', whereas anime seems to be caught up with using this word as a phrase which means, 'I'll never come back after this'.

7/6/2012 #326
The Death Frisbee

Did he sign it as Joel Gray?

Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome...

(Could not find the movie performance in English, only Italian. But 'Cabaret' is seriously the best filmed musical ever.)

7/6/2012 #327
StormyMonday

No, and the reviewer actually does write here as well so... I'm not sure. I suppose it's possible my friend knows this person. I've been meaning to ask. Also, the review was posted double spaced. The site just condensed what I cut and pasted...for some reason.

7/6/2012 #328
StormyMonday

So, I'm a little perplexed by this one. It isn't strange or incomprehensible really. The weird thing is that the reviewer seems to be only commentng on my author's notes in chapter one, even though the review is posted for chapter four.

Yes i was extremely disappointed with some parts of 00. I cannot get over the fact that Neil died. I hope things will get better.

I have no idea what that last part means, since I'm not even remotely close to the character death part. -sigh- Oh well, weird reviews are better than no reviews, right? :/

7/15/2012 #329
truthsetfree

I have an HP story up, called Sheepdogs. Some of you may be familiar with it. The latest review, which I just received, says only this: "a little lamb:make fleece, not meat."

7/16/2012 . Edited 7/16/2012 #330
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