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Critics United: a place for reviewers to gather and talk, exchange tales and support each other as we all try and help the authors of the site.
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CU Administration

Locked thread.

Head here for the current version.

Thank you.

8/7/2010 . Edited 1/11/2014 #1
Sincerely C

Hmm. I see you insalted him. Sounds tasty. *foams at mouth* salt.

8/7/2010 #2
Sincerely C

It's truly amazing how obvious it becomes as soon as you read this that the author was in desperate need of your criticism. I hope that you "shote down a beginers self asteam" enough to make that beginner try to improve. And I'm pretty sure by saying "god you shold kill your self and do the world a favore," he was trying to "shote down ur self asteam" he shouldreallyget a dictionary. It's fun to point out the idiocy of others and use it against them!

8/7/2010 . Edited 6/19/2011 #3
MrGoodyTwoShoes

Ah, I was wondering if we would get to swap tales of dealing with the scum and villainy of this site ;)

Here's a few from my own "rogue's gallery".

A little context on this one as it's the last message from this person in a back and forth we were having but as it went on the person in question was slowly and surely becoming more and more annoyed with me as I was picking apart their argument

Is it wrong to follow a simple want oh so you've had such a great life and because of that you have to make others know it that's all everyone see of me that's all anyone ever see's someone who has parents with good jobs and a lot of money is it wrong to want to be known by a name I have chosen to be known for me not for my parents. When you read this you're going to say well I'm sorry but I don't know your parents so that's not my problem and that just shows how immature you are. I come on here to not only help people but to feel like they accept me. If anyone on here ever found out they would exploit me in trying to get their own true works published or in newspapers. Oh and on another note in you're last message I didn't announce myself to you I only announce myself to people of whom I've been referred or referenced to. You contacted me first informing me on what levels I was breaking the guide lines or code of conduct as you seem to prefer it. I thank you for that but let me tell you something. All of the people whom you have either reported or torn down have lost not only their will to live but they feel like they've been deprived of a right and have fallen into a depression that can never be undone. I should know one of my friends was one of your previous finds. Before I end this conversation I would like to address one more note. No one likes you. You act all high and mighty like you're a complete genius that runs the website but the truth is you're just like me sad alone and wanting to feel needed we could always be friends but you seem to not think that possible as long as I do what I want to do. oh and I'm not trying to insult you I'm scum on a level to and forgive me if I hit the wrong key every now and again we all do it even you. So if you ever want to be friends id be happy to be yours but if not then good day to you as well.

That one always makes me smile because apparently I can take away one's will to live with my notes.

Of course, I get examples like this one where they claim I'm "making up the rules" but this one is by far the worst of the lot.

HEY!! Listen up Goody-F***ing-2-shoes, PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO PUT PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING ON FANFICTION!!!! Are YOU teh owner of THIS website? I DON'T THINK SO!!! Here's PREETY MUCH EVERYONE ELSE'S LIST OF WHY YOURS IS F***ED UP: 1. REAL FANS (unlike you) LOVE lists of thiings to do, BLOOPER (XD) polls (IT HELPS THE AUTHOR DECIDE!!!), Author Notes (of, so if they discontinue or have other IMPORTANT INFO, they can't post it?!), etc. 2. WHAT TEH F***?! THESE ARE FOR POEMS AND SUCH!!!! 3. First of all: They're called AN, and Second of all: THEY HELP EXPLAIN THINGS!!!! 4. WHAT. TEH. F***! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!???? IN AN AU (Alternate Universe) story, THEY HELP MAKE THE STORY SEEM REAL!!! 5. THOSE ARE AWESOME!!! They help THE READER feel like they're in the story. (If YOU even WROTE a story, LIKE A TRUE FANFICTION PROFILE USER WOULD, it would SUCK @$$!!!) 6. CHATROOMS!!! CHATROOMS!!! CHATROOMS!!! PEOPLE LOVE CHATROOMS!!! YOU WANT TO GET RID OF REAL CHATROOMS IN REAL LIFE??!!??!! There you have it, yes I've read your profile, and to be honest, I DON'T F***ING CARE WHAT YOU THINK!!!

Then there's this one, one of the many "We're going to track you down and get you" types, which always gives me a laugh. They also give the age old excuse "I'm young and want to have fun" which is what the majority of my "fans" say when I post my note on their stories.

Why don't you start reporting OTHER stories besides mine?!!?!?! Here's the thing! I'M.NOT.THE.ONLY.ONE.DOING.THIS.!!!!!!! This is just for fun ya know?????~~~!!!?!?! If I want to I Can and WILL post them somewhere COMPLETELY ELSE! Try explaining THAT to my readers,friends,and family! Here's a tip for ya BUG OFF! This is seriously A BIG PAIN IN MY NECK! I know you are TRYING to make this a better site BUT can't you be a litle more fun instead of being a fricking jerk!?!?!?! Its people like you that make me continue this story UNDERSTAND???? This story is about all I have to make friends and stuff like that! I'm aplogize for screaming, but you need to stop being so tight! Have some fun once in a while! I bet you don't have a job and are over 40 or something! Or you are too young to use this site and of which you should just come back when you aren't going to leave stuff down like this...It really hurts my feelings when I try something and its no differnt from what MANY others are doing and I'm the one that gets blamed for it...So whats your deal? Why do you keep reporting me!?!? I can put a few chapters in there without script and crap like that but I need ideas,Support,and reviews! Geez...This is LEAST you can get for doing this! If any of my friends find out...OHHHH they WILL BE **! Miyaka Will probally come to where you live and kick your butt over seas! Shaorron might even throw things at you! Why don't you try to create something like ME and MANY OTHERS HAVE BEEN DOING TO PASS TIME! TO HAVE FUN AND MAKE FRIENDS! You are an Idiot for thinking I will stop this story just because you 'Reported' me Ohhhh,! I'm SO SCARED! But you really need to open up your freaking EYES! We are KIDS and TEENAGERS! Why do you even care for the NO FREAKIN FUN RULE!??!?! Anyways if you are ready to STOP being a tattle tale and get your head out of your butt come talk to me!

8/8/2010 #4
CU Administration

The first one was hilarious. I love when they try to pull out "I'm an author" thing. I remember I saw this one fic that was written pretty badly and she tried to tell me she's an author with a publisher and everything, I'm like really? Then that last one, wow that was just I don't know. The 2nd was just sad, and it hurt my eyes to try and read it lol. I've had the "I just want to have" fun (the girls Just Want to Have Fun song just went through my head lol) and it's like when you do something fun, you do it to the best of your abilities. If it's a game, you follow the rules of the game. That simple.

And yes I "insalted" him lol.

8/8/2010 #5
Sincerely C

Nicely done. You apparently have the power take the will to live away. Fear TheRealGoodyTwoShoes, for he will make you kill yourself with one review! How sad must your life be to want to kill yourself because someone doesn't like your story. I would be thrilled if someone didn't like my story. It's nice to know what I did wrong. And it seems that you guys can really pick the idiots when it comes to the second one. Who would like anything he says on there? I know that authors notes are helpful. But I'm guessing they made like a whole chapter out of it?

8/8/2010 #6
MrGoodyTwoShoes

If memory serves the second one wasn't even an author but a fan of a story that I did post my note on who sent me said message out of the blue. Most of the time the majority of authors I deal with are just unaware and say "thank you" and correct their story. It's the "fans" and "pals" who are the trouble and tend to be the most vindictive, illiterate and amusing of the lot.

As for the first one, the person in question wasn't even writing stories. They were just posting pages of their reviews for other stories. Ya, I went o_0 too at that. When I questioned them on it they said the effect of "My reviews are too important to be just posted in the person's story." and you saw where the back and forth went.

The idiot hasn't posted since that last message but building to it I got the feeling that they weren't reading and review for the joy or to help writers but to make a name for themselves here on the site.

The third one eventually had her story deleted and she promptly blamed me for it being deleted, along with being in the hospital before blocking me.

8/8/2010 #7
Sincerely C

Wait? So you can make people kill themselves and put them in the hospital with a single review? *Bows down* Teach me oh wise one.

8/8/2010 #8
LadyoftheShield

Wow. Forget us, they need to get a life. In the hospital, hn? Can you make them play dead too, G2Shoes?

I'm greatly looking forward to this...

8/8/2010 . Edited 8/8/2010 #9
Sincynati

Of course it's your fault that she went psycho (or not) and ended up in the hospital. How dare you rip apart her obviously deficient self-esteem /sarcasm.

I find it unbelievable how so many people place there entire self-esteem in their writings. But, I mean, even a critical review from the harshest person would make me happier than none at all. (Story improvement? Hello? I thrive in that :))

(It's raining! :D)

8/9/2010 #10
MrGoodyTwoShoes

I really have no clue how I draw out the worse in these people but someone I managed to do such. They probably don't think I would turn things around on them even further frustrating them by making them really look foolish.

A few more of my "fans" starting with this one which was one of the first "lectures" I got about how I operate.

I'll delete it immediately. :] I've got a few things to tell you though. If you really were empathetic, you wouldn't review their story just to inform them they're breaking the rules. Do you really think it's appropriate to tell them they've broken the rules through a review? Whether or not they've broken the rules, it's upsetting to find a review for your story in your e-mail only to find out that someone is saying, "Oh! You've broken the rules. I left a review just to tell you. Don't you feel special now?" A PM would be much more appropriate. It may be a little more work to send a PM, but you seem to have a lot of time on your hands. Another thing. Since your review didn't offer helpful critique to my story, you should "review" stories on your real account instead of hiding behind another pen-name. After all, flames on your own stories aren't critiquing either, they're just useless "reviews", like yours. (As I said, "PM" if you don't understand why I called your reviews useless.) This may be a flame, but I'm going to type it in anyways. Judging by the amount of PMs you supposedly get flaming you, I don't think anyone really appreciates your "help". People don't like people they don't know meddling in their business after all. Well, that's all I have to say to you. Of course, the last part of this PM (the "flame") may have just ruined my chances of receiving a response from you. Of course, if you're "mature" (I judged by how well-typed your prfile is. Not how you like upsetting people via "review"), you'll address the first two parts at the very least.

This one also falls under how authors try to tell me to "mind my own business" yet they're the ones posting on a public site.

and this one actually won originality points for trying to use the "seniority"argument

the ***,excuse my language, (though i did star it out on purpose) i get what your doing but there are reasons why there is no one else like you there usualy get reported and banned and then start a knew account being carefull not to slip up again and then there are people like me i just go with the flow and dont like getting any advice unless its about my comedy styling or if my story sucks. people like me like to go to the end of the guidlines and just hit the agree thing and get on with our storys delibritly not reading them i can tell you there is no one else that reads them,well maybe a few but the majority dont, and if you keep doing this after my fair warning here are 2 tips 1.dont do it to anyone who has senoirity(been a member longer) 2.wright a couple stories to back up your profile and post them ther but one last peice of advice leave the moderating to the forums just saying

The funny part is I have an actual good 5 years on the kid membership time wise.

8/9/2010 #11
CU Administration

Wow, they give you a lot more extensive reviews! lol. They really consider that a flame when you gave advice on how to fix their story? Geez, people are so crazy. Then the second one where the author's telling you that no one reads the guidlines except a few. Of course they have spoken to everyone who writes stories on this site. I hate it when they try to categorize everyone into one group.

8/9/2010 #12
LadyoftheShield

I read the guidelines...

What stupidity! Next they'll think they can get away with murder!

8/9/2010 #13
Sincerely C

"but there are reasons why there is no one else like you "Wait a sec. But there is, that's us right? Could've sworn there were like a whole bunch who read the guidlines.

And I also have to say, he said that he only wants to hear about his comedy, well tough ****, excuse my language, (though i did star it out on purpose) Lol. Mocking people is fun.

8/9/2010 . Edited 8/9/2010 #14
O Escritor

Taryn, you know, the way some of the roach-writers write, they probably should be arrested. Charged with murdering the English language would be a very proper conviction.

8/9/2010 #15
MrGoodyTwoShoes

DarkSacredJewel - I've noticed that recently the sad trend here is that reviews can only give praise and "updatz soonz" and that anything else remotely with advice, suggestions or criticism is considered a flame and the person making it is declared a troll.

I'm sure the rest of you have also run into this or noticed this trend.

My wife also pointed out to me that these authors usually run in packs of their pals who all post in each others stories artificially raising the review count and only praising it because all the jokes are inside jokes known to them.

8/9/2010 #16
CU Administration

You know I was telling GG about that! I had reviewed a story and one of the reviewers came at me, not the author. Then I look at their pages, and some of the other reviewers and see that they're all friend and review each other's stories. I was like, that is so pathetic. I don't want to opinions of friends (unless they're going to tell me how it is), I want it of those who don't know me because emotional attachments aren't involved with what they have to say.

It is turning into a trend. All they really care about is pointless reviews and their review count.

8/9/2010 #17
Sincerely C

Exactly. They seem to think that writing idiotic stuff , Tis iz d gr8est eva! Upd8 soonz!!!!!!!!!!!!1111, is a great way to praise a story. Not to mention that when we give an actually helpful review, we are the devil. It's not like were saying, "Your story sucks, DIE!" We simply point out whats wrong and how to fix it.

8/9/2010 #18
O Escritor

Here here! I may be harsh with what I say, but damn, at least I actually write something that has to do with the fic! I know not every reviewer is into being a true critic; but they could write something that shows they have some amount of brain cells.

8/9/2010 #19
Sincerely C

The sad thing is that so very many of them don't.

8/9/2010 #20
O Escritor

Lol, yeah. That doesseem unbelievably true on some days. I am working on a cure for the deficiency as fast as I can, but all of my many test subjects have yet to show positive results.

8/9/2010 #21
Sincerely C

I would count being turned off to the sight (at the very least) a positive result.

8/9/2010 #22
O Escritor

Can you just picture it though? A cure for cranium braincell deficiency!

8/9/2010 #23
Sincerely C

Not really. I may write, but I'm not a dictionary. Small words, can't tell if that's a joke or a real disease.

8/9/2010 #24
O Escritor

I am joking. Basicaly I said I wanted to find a way to add IQ points to ignorantly stupid people. I have yet to be successful, so critiquing will have to do for now.

8/9/2010 . Edited 8/9/2010 #25
Sincerely C

Oh. So you're looking for a Stupid Be Gone, pill. But you'll have to advertise it in big letters or they may not be able to read it.

8/9/2010 #26
O Escritor

Lol. Stupid Be Gone Pill? There's a nice ring to that. Maybe we should give the roach-writers a free sample or at the very least a coupon.

8/9/2010 #27
Sincerely C

Screw that! Lets slip it into their food like I do to my dog when he gets meds.

8/9/2010 #28
CU Administration

Lol, I missed a lot with the stupid-be-gone pills lol. I was at wal-mart picking up things I wanted then putting them back because I didn't feel like I wanted it enough lol. It was really hard to put back the seasons of Naruto and Bleach. Darn my cheapness.

8/9/2010 . Edited 8/9/2010 #29
O Escritor

Join the club, I often do the exact same thing. I usually walk around the entire store, and am about to check-out, when I decide I really don't feel like paying for them

Yes, we have now copyrighted Stupid-Be-Gone pills, and will now be planting them within the food of crap-writers. Brilliant plan no?

8/9/2010 #30
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