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Arrancar open account

The following script is a fan-based parody and will not be turned into a story. The jokes and insults in this scirpt do not nessecarily reflect AOA's opinion of Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal. Please support further episodes!

Episode 1 - Let's Rev it Up! Wait...

Yuma: Hi, I'm Yuma Tsukumo and I-

Astral: No one cares. I'm the only reason people watch this show. They love me beacuse of my emotionless voice and eternally expresionless face. Deal with it Yuma, I have more fans than an anime convention.

Yuma: That's not much.

Astral: Touche.

Yuma: Anyway, this is my show! You're not even supposed to show up yet!

Astral: Aww, does the little bitch want his opening sequence back?

Yuma: Yes.

Astral: Too late.

(Opening Theme song/Title Sequance *Open for recomendations!*)

Yuma: *In his room sleeping* *Snores*...Card games...*Snores*...On...*Snores*...Motorcycles...*Wakes up and falls off his bed* Holy shit! What a horrible nightmare! I dreamt I was the main protagonist of the new Yu-Gi-Oh! series, and that card games of motorcycles actually exsisted!

*A clip of Shark riding on his motorcycle plays*

Yuma: But that would just be ridiculous. *Gets back in his bed and has another dream where he is standing in front of scary-ass door* Where am I? Are these the gates of hell? Am I dead? If so, then that is freaking awesome!


Yuma: What is it door that appeatantly knows my name?


Yuma: Sure. Wait, what's the catch?

Door: Catch? What catch? There's no catch!

Yuma: Now I know there's a catch! Spill it door!

Door: Fine. If you want to open me...YOU MUST GIVE ME YOUR MOST PRECIOUS THING.

Yuma: Hell no! *Wakes up and falls out of bed again* ...I gotta lay off on the drugs...

(Later, at a school.)

Yuma: Watching generic people play card games is fun!

Kotori: I'd rather be-

Yuma: Yeah that's great shut up.

Shark: Now I overlay my two monsters to summon Bi-Plane Shark(Real Name: Aero Shark)! Bi-Plane Shark, attack him directly! *Jaws theme plays as Aero Shark attacks*

Tetsuo: Ow my leg! (Jaws referneces that no one understands, FTW!)

Shark: I sunk your battle ship. Now hand over your deck.

Yuma: Gay!

Shark: Shut the hell up! *Takes Yuma's King's Key and breaks it*

Yuma: What the hell?! My mom got that for me! I mean...I stole that from some dude!

Shark: If you want to get this fat ass's deck back, you have to duel me for it.

Yuma: Okay fine! How about after class tomarrow?

Shark: Tomarrow's Saturday.

Yuma: Oh...Then uh...Five thirty! Two! Be there, unless you're scared!

Shark: You should be scared.

Yuma: I'm never scared! *At Yuma's house* Holy shit I'm so scared...

(The next day, at 5:32)

Shark: *Waiting* Where the hell is he!

Yuma: Right here!

Shark: Then let's get this party started.

Yuma/Shark: Scouter, activated! D-Pad, activated! Duel!

Yuma: I'm going to rev it up!

Shark: You mean bring it to 'em?

Yuma: Yeah, that. I summon Zubaba Knight!

Shark: Well I summon Big Jaws, and activte Pokemon Rip-Off, allowing him to use Aqua Jet on your monster! *Big Jaws attacks Zubaba Knight and destroys it* It's super effective.

Yuma: Ow my dignity! *Has the same dream about the door*

Door: Oh, look who came crawling back.

Yuma: Gimme that freaking power! *Shoves the King's Key into the door*

(In the real world)

Astral: Free at last. Now I can kill every last human in exsistance. Muahahahahahahahahaha.

Yuma: A GHOST! Damnit, I didn't bring my Ghostbusters set! Wh-what are here for?

Astral: I'm here to kick ass and play card games, and I'm all out of ass. So I'll have to use his. *Points to Shark*

Yuma: Yeah! We're gonna kick his ass!

Astral: Who said anything about we?

Shark: I don't know who you're talking to, but I'm to summon Number 17: Super Mega Worm Dragon.

Yuma: Crap!

Astral: Hey, Yuma, remember the card I gave you when I showed up?

Yuma: What card?

Astral: You know. The card that was never explained.

Yuma: Oh, right. That.

Shark: What the hell are you talking about?

Yuma: I summon Number 39: Aspiring Emperor Hope! And I use a completely bullshit strategy to make it's ATK 5000! Now go Hope! Slay Super Mega Worm Dragon!

Shark: *Loses* I lost...To a moron...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Yuma: Yes! I won!

Shark: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!! I'll get you next time! And your little ghost, too! *Walks away*

Astral: Mine. *Takes Number 17*

Yuma: We won!

Astral: I won. So shut up.

Tetsuo: Can have my deck back?

Yuma: Hell no! It's mine now, fat ass!

(Ending sequance)

8/1/2011 . Edited 8/1/2011 #1
seconda etapa

It´s funnier when you read it the second time. But still a good job.

8/1/2011 #2
Arrancar open account

I actually had to rewrite this(This being my second time) because my computer fucked up. The original opening dialougue was between Kaito Tenjo and Yuma, and it was much shorter.

8/1/2011 #3
seconda etapa

Yeah, computers tend to screw up often. Hope to see the second part soon.

8/1/2011 #4
Arrancar open account

It will be. However, I there's two duels that I can't wait for! (Against ESPer Robin and against Kaito Tenjo)

8/1/2011 #5
Arrancar open account

Prof. Ukyo: The following script is a fan-based parody and will not be turned into a story. The jokes and insults in this script do not necessarily reflect AOA's opinion of Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal. Please support further episodes!

Episode 2 - The MatriX

???: *Messing with a computer with a disguised voice* Yes...Yes! My lesbian porn is almost done downloading! *Changes screens, where several Crashbugs are shown* Now my digital minions! Destroy the city!

(At Yuma's house)

Akari(Yuma's sister that I never introduced): *Also messing around on a computer* Yes! It's almost finished! My gay porn is almost done downloading! *The computer crashes* F**K!!!! Now I have to read porn! YUUUUUUUUUMAAAAAAAAAAA~!!!!!!!

Yuma: Shit, I'm in trouble!

Akari: Go out and buy me a book. Oh, and if they ask how old you are, just say 22.

Yuma: Why would they ask me how old I am?

Akari: ...On second thought, nevermind. Just leave.

Yuma: And if I don't?

*Opening title sequance! (Still up for recomendations...)*

(Cut to the street)

Yuma: *Walking* Stupid Akari and her stupid 'girl time'.

Astral: I wasn't aware that a human's arm could bend that way.

Yuma: It can't, dumbass.

Astral: Shut up Yuma. No one asked for your opinion.

*The next day, at the library*

Yuma: Reading books is boring!

Kotori: Well-

Yuma: Yeah, that's great, shut up.

Takashi: *Plugs a flashdrive into a computer and suddenly Crashbug appears on the screen* Hey! This isn't Star Wars episode 3!

Yuma: You! So you're the reason my sister nearly broke my neck!

Takashi: Wait no! I'm just trying to illegally download Star Wars movies! And besides, your sister is most likely just having her period.

Yuma: Having her what?

Kotori: A period is when a girl-

Yuma: Hey Kotori, did you get that email I sent you?

Kotori: What emai-

Yuma: SHUT UP!!!

Takashi: I have an idea! I'll trace this virus back to the source!

Yuma: You can do that?

Takashi: Of course! All I have to do is-

Yuma: Don't explain, just do it.

Astral: You are what humans call, an asshole.

Yuma: You don't even have one!

Astral: What a horrible comeback.

Kotori: Who are you even talking t-

Yuma: Silence, bitch!

(Later at the source of the virus)

???: *Doing something you cannot see because of his chair* Oh, oh yes...OOH! Oh yeah!

Yuma: *Bursts in* We're here to stop yo- What the hell are you doing?

???: Crap! Give me a second. *Zipping noises are heard, and then chair turns around*

Yuma: Proffesor Ukyo!

Takashi: I knew that I'd never get an F on my test!

Yuma: Actually, that was a ligit F. I switched our answers.

Takashi: ...

Prof. Ukyo: Mr. Tsukumo! I challenge you to a duel!

Yuma: Why?

Prof. Ukyo: For the plot!

Yuma: Oh right. Well you better get your game on!

Takashi: Gay. And wrong catchphrase.

Yuma: Damnit...I mean, KATTOBINGU!!!!!!

Prof. Ukyo: Kattobingu this! *Summons Number 34: Terror-Byte* I Xyz summon Number 34: Matrix Bug!

Yuma: Oh God!

Prof. Ukyo: Ukyo will suffice.

Yuma: I summon Achacha Archer!

Prof. Ukyo: Hey guess what.

Yuma: What?

Prof. Ukyo: By detaching an overlay unit, I can put your monster into the Matirx!

Yuma: What does that do- Oh crap! *Gets attacked by his own monster*

Prof. Ukyo: You hear that Mr. Tsukumo?...That is the sound of inevitability...It is the sound of your death...Face it Mr. Tsukumo, it's hopless. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.

Astral: He has a point.

Yuma: Shut up! It's never hopeless! And what are you, a freaking Cylon? Anyway, main character powers activate! I Xyz summon Number 39: Aspiring Emperor Hope AND Number 17: Super Mega Worm Dragon! Go my monsters! Give my proffessor a brief history of pain!

Prof. Ukyo: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! How could I lose to an idiot like Mr. Tsukumo?!

Yuma: My name...Is Neo! I mean Yuma...

Astral: *Takes Matrix Bug* Mine.

Yuma: Never mess with the chosen one!

Astral: The only thing you've been chosen to do is be interupted by the ending credits.

Yuma: What the hell are you-

*Ending credits*

Caption: [btw, ukyo is his first name. his last name is smith.]

8/6/2011 . Edited 8/7/2011 #6
seconda etapa

Moral of the episode, never mess with Neo- eh Yuma.

8/6/2011 #7
Arrancar open account

Cuz he does kattobingu.

8/6/2011 #8
seconda etapa

Da f*ck´s kattobingu?

8/6/2011 #9
Arrancar open account

No one knows. Not even Ne- Yuma.

8/6/2011 #10
seconda etapa

made up words FTW!

8/6/2011 #11
Arrancar open account

Actually, I think it means "pop-flying".

8/6/2011 #12
seconda etapa

* sweatdrop *

8/6/2011 #13
Arrancar open account

Personally, I think I should change Astral's personality and give him more lines...

8/6/2011 #14
seconda etapa

I think he should be a little more annoying to Yuma, constantly making fun of him or anger him.

8/6/2011 #15
Arrancar open account

Yeah, that would be better. *Bows* Thank you for your assistance!

8/6/2011 #16
seconda etapa

Who are you and what have you done to AOA.

8/6/2011 #17
Arrancar open account

Still mentally unstabble, dumbass...

8/6/2011 #18
seconda etapa

Who are you calling a dumbass, dumbass... (okay, no need to continue this...)

8/6/2011 #19
Arrancar open account


8/6/2011 #20
Arrancar open account

BTW, fans! New episode on the eleventh!

8/6/2011 #21
Arrancar open account

Due to my idiocy in completely ruining what I wrote, the episode has been moved to tomarrow...

8/11/2011 #22
Arrancar open account

Tokunosuke: The following script is a fan-based parody and will not be turned into a story. The jokes and insults in this script do not necessarily reflect AOA's opinion of Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal. Please support further episodes, ura!

Episode 3 - You can just skip this one

Shop owner: Hi! Milly Bays here with a special offer! Order now, and all my candy is 50% off!

Tokunosuke: 50% off? That's way overpriced, ura!

Shop owner: HOW?!

Tokunosuke: Allow me to show you in a duel, ura!


Shop owner: How could I lose to a kid!

Tokunosuke: *Takes a lolipop* That's how, ura!

Shop owner: I still have my contract with Oxi Clean.

Tokunosuke: No, you dont. Ura.

Shop owner: FU-

(Opening title sequance)

Yuma: *Walking across a bridge* Stupid Akari and her stupid books...

Astral: Note #5. Yuma is his sister's bitch.

Yuma: AM NOT!!!

Astral: Whatever, Toma.

Yuma: It's Ne- YUMA!!!

Astral: I know.

Yuma: D*ck...

Astral: Lame ass.

Yuma: What did you just call me?!

Astral: In my world, lame ass means great and powerful warrior.

Yuma: Oh. In that case, I'm not just a lame ass, I'm a big lame ass!

Astral: The biggest.

Tokunsuke: *Under the bridge they're on* *Thinking: Yuma sucks as a duelist, ura. But everyone knows that he beat Shark, ura. So he must have some good cards, ura.*

*The next day*

Yuma: *Talking to Tetsuo and Kotori* And he's such a prick. Yup. Astral is the biggest prick I know.

Astral: Most likely because you don't have one.

Yuma: Asshole!

Tetsuo: Have you ever considered therapy?

Yuma: Have you ever considered a diet?

Tokunosuke: Hey Yuma, take this card. *Tries to hand him Baby Tragon*

Yuma: F*ck you!

*One montage of Tokunosuke trying to give Yuma Baby Tragon later...*

Yuma: *At home* Wheew...Finally I'm back home.

Akari: YUMA!!! What did I tell you about dueling?!

Astral: That he sucks at it and therefore must not because it will bring shame to the Tsukumo name?

Yuma: SHUT UP!

Akari: ...What did you just say...?

Yuma: Goodbye world...

*One mauling later...*

Yuma: Time to read my fan mail! *Opens it and pulls out Baby Tragon* Damnit!

Astral: Most likely American hate mail.

Yuma: Why should I care what the Americans think? China pretty much owns them, and they all blame it on their f*cked up government.

Astral: Touche.

Yuma: That's French, not American.

Astral: Douche.

Yuma: Don't know what language that is.

Astral: It's Astralian(Hahahahahahaha. Puns.) for dumbass.

Yuma: ...I hate you...

Astral: You know what I hate? This episode. It's so f*cking filler it hurts. Let's just skip the rest.

Yuma: For once we agree on something.

*Ending credits*

Captions: [tokunosuke eventually dueled yuma and got the shit beaten out of him] [it was so embarrassing, i refuse to post it]

8/12/2011 . Edited 8/12/2011 #23
Arrancar open account

ooc: Messed up...

8/12/2011 #24
seconda etapa

ooc: Small tip. Write it like when you write a fic, and then copy-paste-post it here.

8/12/2011 . Edited 8/12/2011 #25
Arrancar open account

ooc: I've thought about doing that, but I don't have the patience.

8/12/2011 #26
seconda etapa

ooc: * facepalm *

8/12/2011 #27
Arrancar open account

ooc: Done!

8/12/2011 #28
Arrancar open account

Fuya: The following script is a fan-based parody and will not be turned into a story or video. The jokes and insults in this script do not necessarily reflect AOA's opinion of Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal. Please support further episodes!

Episode 4 - Batman and ESPer Star Robin

Astral: *Watching TV* This show gives me a funny feeling in the lower reaches of my body. I can't explain it, but it feels damn good.

Yuma: *Wakes up* Astral, what the hell are you watching?

Astral: I don't know. But I found it in your sister's drawers.

Yuma: Why where you looking in my sister's drawers?

Astral: Why do you think?

Yuma: ...*Turns off the TV*

Astral: Hey. I was watching that.

Yuma: Too bad.

*Opening title sequence(Batman theme)*

*At school*

Yuma: Yes! I'm totally gonna duel someone today!

Astral: Yuma, what exactly were that man and that woman doing in that video?

Yuma: A sort of human mating ritual, called...*Thinks a moment* Pornography.

Astral: This pornography is so strange...Such an efficient way of mating. Humans seems to be highly advanced in many ways. Except dueling skills. Everyone on this planet lacks the dueling skill to even think that they could beat me. But especially you, Yuma. You absolutely suck at duels.

Yuma: F*ck you Astral!

Kotori: *Comes out of the classroom* Yuma, did you hear that ESPer Robin is in-

Yuma: Holy shit ESPer Robin's in town?! WE MUST SKIP SCHOOL TO GO MEET HIM!!!

*One boring sequence later*

Yuma: *In Fuya's dressing room with him* Omigawdiluvurshowsomuch!!!!!

Fuya: ...Who the hell let you in here? Anyway, even though your broke into my studio and interrupted my rehearsal, I'll let you off the hook cuz you're a duelist. *Sees a spider* OH MY GOD IT'S GONNA KILL ME!!!!!!! *Hides behind Yuma*

Yuma: Don't worry Robin! I'll kill the spider! *Catches it and lets it out the window* What it doesn't know is that I set spider traps out there...*Tiny screaming can be heard*

Astral: This boy is pretty. Can he be my mate?

Yuma: I hope to god you mean friend...

Fuya's Mother: *Walks in* *Sees Yuma* Damnit Fuya! I've already told a million times, you're going to marry a GIRL!!!!

Yuma: What? I'm not his boyfriend! I'm a fanboy. Who also happens to be his friend.

Astral: Sounds like a boyfriend to me.

Fuya's Mother: GET OUT!!!

*Later, at Fuya's hotel room terrace*

Fuya: *Standing, looking at the city* Why must my life be so miserable?

*Number 83: Galaxy Queen falls next to him*

Fuya: Huh? Score, a card! *Picks it up and is surrounded by a dark aura*

Number 83: I am your mom.

Fuya: *Has a blank stare on his face and is talking in a bland voice* You are my mom.

Number 83: You will do what I say.

Fuya: I will do what you say.

Number 83: You will stop being such a pussy ass about everything.

Fuya: I will stop being such a pussy ass about everything.

Number 83: You will not make out with boys.

Fuya: I will make out with my boyfriend. With tongue.

Number 83: You are a dumbass...

Fuya: I am a dumbass.

Number 83: No, you weren't supposed to repeat that!

Fuya: I was not supposed to repeat that.

Number 83: ...


Random guy: *Drinking soda* *When he's done, he throws the can away*

Fuya: *As ESPer Robin* *Steps in front of the man* You! If you would throw a can today, then you would one day throw a bomb!

Random guy: What the hell are you talking about, freak?

Fuya: Silence minion of the Joker- I mean Dead Max! I have come to stop you! This is a banquet of justice, and the only thing on the menu is my fist!!! *One un-shown ass-whooping later*

Random guy #2: *Driving in his car, and there happens to be a cat in the road*

Fuya: *Jumps in the way of the car* Stop evildoer!

Random guy #2: *Swerves and stops* What the f*ck! Get out of the way!

Fuya: *Gets on his car and walks up to the man's window from the hood* Hungry?

Random guy #2: Yeah, why?


*The next day*

Kotori: Hey Yuma, did you h-

Yuma: No.

Kotori: They say ESPer Robin showed up last night and started k-

Yuma: Robin was killing people! I have to stop him!

*That night*

Yuma: *Goes to the set where he first met Fuya* ESPer! Duel me!

Fuya: Okay.

Yuma: Good!

Fuya/Yuma: Scouter, set! D-pad, set! DUEL!!!

Fuya: I summon Number 83: Galaxy Queen!

Number 83: All shall obey my massive clevage!

Yuma: ...Da f*ck?

*Most of the duel later*

Yuma: And now I finally summon Number 39: Aspiring Emperor Hope!!! In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight! Let all who worship evil's might, beware my power, EMPEROR HOPE'S LIGHT!!!!

Fuya: AHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Loses*

Astral: That was actually pretty cool.

Yuma: You think so?

Astral: No. That was a lie. *Takes Number 83* Mine.

Yuma: Jerk...Just remember villians of the world, I do KATTOBINGU!!!!!

Astral: Shut up Toma.

Yuma: IT'S YUMA!

*Ending credits*

Caption: [esper robin will be back in...the avengers]

8/17/2011 . Edited 8/17/2011 #29
Arrancar open account

Cathy: The following script is a fan-based parody and will not be turned into a story or video. The jokes and insults in this script do not necessarily reflect AOA's opinion of Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal. Please support further episodes! NYAN!!!!

Episode 5 - Not That Anyone Cares

Yuma: I wonder who I can duel today...

Astral: Is dueling all you ever think about?

Yuma: Astral, this is a show about card games. Of course dueling is the only thing I ever think of.

Aatral: You would think that they have schools just for dueling.

Yuma: Yeah, but that would be rediculous.

*The RWJ transition occurs*

Kotori: Finally, I can finish a senten-

Cat: Meow.

Kotori: FU-

Cat: Meow.

Cat horde: *Assualt Kotori*


Yuma: I have a feeling that someone just stole my bitch.

Astral: The only the bitch you have is your mom.

Yuma: Not funny.

Astral: Wasn't a joke.

[Later, at a mansion]

Yuma: *Walks in* Give me all you money!

Cathy: No. Nyan.

Yuma: Hey, you're not Seto Kaiba!

Cathy: Who the hell is Seto Kaiba? Nevermind. I kidnapped your friend, duel me! Nyan.

Yuma: She's not my friend. But I could say that and sue you for every penny you've got.

Astral: Or you could beat her in a duel and add her to your imaginary harem.

Yuma: Bitchin! Duel me, cat-whore!

Cathy: Okay. Nyan.


Yuma: I summon Legolas(Achacha Archer)!

Cathy: I summon Nyan cat!

Yuma: *Laughes* What can that thing do?

Cathy: Rainbow attack!

Yuma: Oh fu-*BOOM!!!*

Astral: Let's just skip to you winning. This duel is boring anyway.

Yuma: *Attacks Twin-Tailed Cat Lady with Baby Tragon* Thunder, thunder, Thunder cats! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cathy: I lost! Nyan!

Yuma: You can't beat the main protagonist! It's the rule of anime!

Astral: Too bad she didn't have numbers, therefore making this duel pointless. Good job wasting my time Yuma, you idiot.

Yuma: What? Like you REALLY wanna duel the dinosaur guys?

Astral: Good point.

Yuma: You feel like we're forgetting something?

Astral: Nope.



[End Credits]

Caption: [wanna know what happened to the plot? we have nyan!]

9/20/2011 #30
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