District 14
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Lostliveson4eva

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU LITTLE TWAT.

And I did not come up with the title, the whores did.

And don't worry, you will always be 14. No matter how old you are. Even if your 57 like a pedophile, because we will all probably still be on here when we are old. That would not surprise me. O_o

Anyway, have a great birthday, watch lots of LOST, go have a party with some cool bitches. And learn to drive. Then you can come pick us all up and we can finally start this D14 Road Trip. Even though it's still not an hour until your birthday fer meh.

I was going to say something else, but I forgot when I was writing the other stuff. So . . . HAPPY DAY OF BIRF. AND DO LOTS OF STUFF THAT IS FUN AND . . . YEAH.

Congrats, bro~

1/27/2012 . Edited 1/27/2012 #1
St. Elsewhere

I'm not sure if Evan is being punished here...

Happy birthday E-vahn! You're what, fifteen now?

1/27/2012 #2
Erwin Smith

Happy birthday, Schmevan~

Hope you have a great one, dude. Seriously. Go out and have a wicked party or something. Or you could just have your lapdance from Lost. ;D

Hope you have a great day, bro!

:3

1/27/2012 #3
Blackniss Neverseen

ONE SLUT FOR YOU, EVAN, YOU GO EVAN~!

and none for Fiona because she's a child bye.

--

You're fifteen. I'm honestly not prepared for this.

I hope you have the best, and no matter what Lost says, the lump on her back is not natural, but instead a corn grenade. After the lap dance, she will try to kill you with this. Be prepared to run as fast as your fifteen-year-old legs can carry you. Run to the safe house. Justin Bieber is waiting for you. There, he will give you a comb and a brush so that you can fix your hair, seeing as Lost made you look like you just had sex. Which you didn't.

And then he will drive you to a concert where you will open for him and sing this song, seeing as Clara would kill me if I posted the real version.

And for all of you who are skimming over this and won't click the link, no it's not doggy porn. Or corn porn. Or real porn...

This message self-destructs when Nyan cat is caught by the government.

1/27/2012 . Edited 1/27/2012 #4
A Band Of Thieves

qurllll we gon have you a party, ghetto gurl style.

But happy birthday, Evan~ YOU'RE SUCH A BIG BOY NOW I'M TEARING UP. D;

1/27/2012 #5
nathan-p

You're still not legal, but you're another year older, another year closer to death, let's sing Pink Floyd together yeahhhh

You're cool.

1/27/2012 #6
we heart it

MAINE YOU ARE SO YOUNG.

Once again, I still can't believe you are just turning fourteen. It's been so long. *.* Happy birthday!

1/27/2012 #7
Blackniss Neverseen

He's turning fifteen. xD

1/27/2012 #8
GlimmerIcewood

I'm still older, heh. But seriously. You're always going to be 14 YEAR OLD EVAN. Even though you look like, twenty. Which makes no sense. But, still. Go celebrate, drink... apple juice.. and go get high off of.. air. Because Clara would not approve. You're already a big enough whore already, and clearly Lost is doing nothing to help the situation.

qurllll we gon have you a party, ghetto gurl style.

I agree-!

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU MAINER.. MAINE.. THING. Yes, you're a thing now.

1/27/2012 #9
Lostliveson4eva

and clearly Lost is doing nothing to help the situation.

Hey, I did nothing.

1/27/2012 #10
we heart it

He's turning fifteen. xD]

Oops, meant to put "fifteen". I suck. D|

1/27/2012 #11
VividlyVisceral

Oh, Evan. I hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy your fifteenth year on earth! Only one more year until you're legal and it's no longer statutory rape.

...did I seriously just type that?

...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

1/27/2012 #12
Pure Evil Breed

Congratulations. From now on you're that-fifteen-year-old-boy.

Happy birthday~

1/28/2012 #13
whisperasweknowit

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EVAN.

You're three years away from legal drinking age. ISN'T THAT EXCITING?

/lolno

Being fifteen sounds a lot cooler than being fourteen, so congrats on not dying and making it to the next year, bro. :D I hope yer birthday is awesome and stuff and I really suck at these cliched birthday wishes so I dunno HAVE A GOOD DAY AND STUFF I GUESS.

1/28/2012 #14
St. Elsewhere

WHISP YOU'RE SO ELOQUENT.

1/28/2012 #15
whisperasweknowit

THANKS, BRO.

1/28/2012 #16
St. Elsewhere

NO SERIOUSLY. YOU SHOULD WRITE BIRTHDAY CARDS AND THINGS. BECAUSE YOU'RE SO ELOQUENT.

1/28/2012 #17
SydneyLouWho
Happy Birthday Evan! :D
1/28/2012 #18
Draco and the Sexy Snatchers

Happy fifteenth birthday Evan! :D

1/28/2012 #19
Her.Royal.Cheesyness
Happy birthday. :)
1/28/2012 #20
Claratrix LeChatham

EVAN I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY.

Little brother, I love you so much. You are an honor and an asset to the LeChatham name. Don't worry, if Lost was to give you a lap dance, or even attempt to do so, she would have to do her future 'dancing' without the use of functioning legs. C:

Anyway, you're fifteen now. I'm so proud of you and of everything you do.

-birthdayhug-

1/29/2012 #21
Toxophilite

Thank you, guys. Really, it was amazing to spend a birthday with you all.

1/29/2012 #22
Lostliveson4eva

Don't worry, if Lost was to give you a lap dance, or even attempt to do so, she would have to do her future 'dancing' without the use of functioning legs. C:

-cough-

Rowan did it! It's always the Canadians.

1/29/2012 #23
GlimmerIcewood

Rowan did it! It's always the Canadians.

OH DON'T EVEN, WHORE. :K

1/29/2012 #24
GlimmerIcewood

You're being punished again for your birthday. I'm sorry Lost is such a whore.

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THE SAME AGE AS ME. I know this happened last year but my birthday's not for another like, six months and wah. You're too old. D;

Happy sixteenth, Evan. :3 I love you, go party and do whatever the hell you want, because it's your birthday. Don't do anything I would do. ♥

(PS love you Fiona and Clara we never opened your birthday threads oops)

1/27/2013 #25
The Hell Jumper

Happy Birthday Evan. I hope you have a great day. You have my permission to break our bromance for today but as soon as your birthday is over, we're back together.

1/27/2013 #26
nathan-p

HEY LOSER I HEARD YOU'RE OLD AS SHIT

I hope you get lots of tail this year and do well in your classes and all that bullshit. Party hard.

1/27/2013 #27
VividlyVisceral

Happy Birthday, Evan! I can't believe you're sixteen. Pretty soon you're going to be eighteen. I'm sort of reeling here. Everyone is getting old.

Anyway, I love you, Evan. You have a fantastic day and remember that everyone here loves you. Have a FUCKING SWEET great sixteenth! :DD

1/27/2013 #28
SydneyLouWho

Happy Birthday Evan!

It's funny because at this time last year I barely knew you (or any of you guys for that matter) and god it doesn't feel like it's been a whole year, but wow I guess it has. And now you're older than me again wah.

But anyway, I hope you have a fantastic day and Into sends you nudes because THIS SHIP IS FINALLY LEGAL. GO OUT AND PARTY AND HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE BECAUSE YOU CAN (except don't really because Clara would kill you, then she'd kill me for influencing you, so just don't listen to me).

1/28/2013 . Edited 1/28/2013 #29
Lightfall

Evan I'm so sorry that this is late, my country is actually trying to kill me with the weather and we've had no power

But holy shit you're sixteen? whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

ahsdjfkashdklfjahsjkdfakjsd

So basically Evan you are a beautiful human being and I love you in a completely platonic way so that Clara will not murder me

And now I'm all nostalgic because I REMEMBER YOU BEING LIKE FOURTEEN OR THIRTEEN OR SOMETHING WHAT THE HELL. So basically you're all grown up and I just aaaaaa

tl;dr happy fucking birthday, bro, I am a little emotional.

1/28/2013 #30
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