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nathan-p

The Americans don't know what Nanaimo bars are.

The Canadians aren't sure about calzones.

The Aussies don't get grits.

Let's talk about food! Please feel free to post recipes, talk about regional foods, or tell us about a tasty thing you cooked.

Here's a recipe to get you started. These are holiday cookies that my family makes; apparently they're Dutch in origin.

Kringles

1 pound butter

10 TBSP sour cream

1 pound flour (about 4 cups)

3 egg yolks

sugar as needed

Work flour and butter together with hands. Add sour cream and mix well. Chill for several hours (up to about three days).

Divide dough into thirds. Roll thin -- about 1/8 inch. Spread with egg yolk and sprinkle generously with sugar.

Cut into 1/3-inch-wide strips about a foot long. Form into loops, pretzel style.

Bake on ungreased cookie sheet in 350 degree F oven for 10 - 12 minutes until slightly pinkish -- they should not be browned.

Better when allowed to age, but good luck keeping people off of them.

Makes about a billion goddamn cookies. More than a hundred if you pretzel-fy them, fewer if you cut them into shapes or whatever.

3/11/2012 #1
St. Elsewhere

I had grape Fanta today.

Goddamn you people will make anything out of anything.

3/11/2012 #2
GlimmerIcewood

The Americans don't know what Nanaimo bars are.

Bad Americans.

The Canadians aren't sure about calzones.

I know what a calzone is..

ALSO INTO I'M NOT GOING TO BED. Okay I probably am soon but.

3/11/2012 #3
St. Elsewhere

GO THE FUCK TO BED WHORE.

3/11/2012 #4
Generation Nothing

Calzone?

3/11/2012 #5
Erwin Smith

Paige's Super-Awesome Low Fat Banana Bread Recipe: For those craving banana bread, but don't want the added fats.

Note: All measurements are metric. Use a converter to change to imperial.

You will need:

Two cups unbleached all-purpose flour

One and a half teaspoons baking soda

One-half teaspoon salt

One cup granulated sugar

One-third cup canola oil

Four ripe bananas, mashed

One teaspoon vanilla extract

One cup chocolate chips (optional)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease the pan with an oil spray.

Mix together the flour, baking soda and salt.

In a large bowl, beat the sugar and oil together, then add the mashed bananas. Stir in the water and vanilla and mix thoroughly. Add the flour mixture, along with the chocolate chips and stir to mix.

Fill the baking pans and bake for an hour until they are golden-brown and a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean.

Enjoy!

3/12/2012 #6
VividlyVisceral

Vivid's Nutella Buns!

Note: Pun intended.

You will need:

A jar of Nutella.

A spoon.

A knife.

A loaf of sliced bread.

Directions:

Cut the crusts of the bread off and put them aside. You won't need them. Throw them away or give them to pigeons or something.

Spread lots of Nutella on the bread. If possible, ladle it out with the spoon.

Close the bread up so it looks like a Chinese meat bun. Place the finished product on a plate.

Make the finished bun some more buns to be its friends. Giving them names is optional.

Repeat until you run out of bread or Nutella.

You're welcome.

3/12/2012 #7
Erwin Smith

Paige's Awesomely Delicious Pastitsio Recipe:

For those of you who do not know, pastitsio (pa-sti-shi-oh) is a Greek version of lasagna. It is super-tasty and easy to make. It is a dinner dish, and a fair bit of prep is required, but it is an amazing meal. There are always leftovers, so it can last for days!

You will need:

One tablespoon olive oil

One large cooking onion, diced

One large clove of garlic, minced

One pound ground beef or lamb. Or both.

Three cups canned crushed tomatoes

One-quarter teaspoon chopped parsley

One-half teaspoon oregano

One teaspoon cinnamon

Salt and pepper

Four cups uncooked ziti or macaroni noodles

One cup plain yogurt

Three tablespoons grated Romano cheese

One egg, lightly beaten

Beschemel sauce (topping):

One-quarter cup butter

One-quarter cup flour

Two and a quarter cups milk

One-half teaspoon nutmeg

One-quarter cup Romano cheese

Directions:

1. In a large, non-stick skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat. Cook the onion and garlic until onions are soft. Add the beef or lamb or both until it is no longer pink.

2. Add the crushed tomatoes, parsley, oregano and cinnamon. Simmer for five minutes. Add salt and pepper.

3. While meat is simmering, bring a large pot of salted water to a rolling boil. Cook the pasta until just barely tender. Drain. Combine the pasta with the Romano cheese, yogurt and egg.

4. Place half the pasta in the bottom of a shallow, greased casserole dish. Spoon half the meat mixture over the top. Repeat.

5. In a small saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Stir in flour until combined. Whisk in milk and cook until thickened. Make sure it doesn't burn! Milk burns very easily. Also, make sure it doesn't separate; you have to keep stirring it. Add the nutmeg and stir.

6. Spoon the sauce over the casserole. Top with Romano cheese and bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until mixture starts to bubble.

7. Enjoy the tasty dish with your family and/or friends. Or just eat it all yourself! :3

I would recommend having a helper if you decide to make this dish. It's hard to monitor all the things going on at once and it's more fun if you have a kitchen-partner! After all, two heads are better than one!

3/12/2012 #8
wach

Juno's Bruschetta with Tomato & Basil (Taste level - Orgasmic)

○ For all unaware, Bruschetta is probably the most delicious Italian food you could possibly ever eat, and one of the sole reasons why tomatoes are one of my favorite foods (this dish is my favorite). Beware of straying from my top-secret recipe, which may result in dissatisfaction, angry throwing of tomatoes (DON'T WASTE THEM, THEY'RE PRECIOUS), and/or crying in Italian.

Prep Time: 10 minutes

You will Need:

○ A backyard, sun, heirloom tomato seeds, water, and patience. (Alternatively, you can buy heirloom/other types at the store, but other varieties may be less tasty)

○ Mozzarella Cheese (Whichever size you want, as much as you want. Usually, the creamier and fresher, the better)

○ Balsamic Vinegar (A slightly sour/acidic dark vinegar, for those who don't know)

○ Olive Oil (Usually has a rich, smooth flavor, free of impurities)

○ Baguette Slices

○ Basil leaves

○ Plate, toaster/oven, hands, the ability to love

○ Salt / Pepper (Optional)

Directions: (Can be modified to fit your own personal bread-tomato-cheese ratio)

1. Slice up tomatoes in 1/3 - 1/2 in slices (or about as thick as a finger).

2. Slice up mozzerella around the same thickness, 'matching' the tomato slices.

3. Slice up baguette around same thickness or slightly bigger (enough to support ingredients but not be too hard to eat)

4. Toast baguette slices to light golden color (Just slightly toasted, but still soft enough to eat)

5. Put down baguette slice on plate. Put mozzarella slice on top. And tomato on top of that. And basil leaf somewhere in between.

6. Get small plate, drizzle appropriate (however much you think you will eat) amount of olive oil & balsamic vinegar onto plate's surface (they will separate and be cool)

7. Optionally put salt & pepper in oil-vinegar mixture.

8. CONGRATULATIONS, WOLFGANG DUCK. You may now dip Bruschetta into oil-vinegar mixture or drizzle over top.

3/12/2012 #9
Erwin Smith

Paige's Scrumptious Strawberry Lemonade Recipe:

Is there anything better than a nice cool glass of lemonade on a summer day? No? Didn't think so. With this simple recipe, you'll be getting your lemonade fix all summer long!

You will need:

Two and a half cups hulled strawberries

One and a half cups lemon juice (five-eight lemons, depending on your preference of acidity)

For cups water or sparkling water

Four cups ice cubes

Mint sprigs for garnish

Directions:

1. In a blender or food processor, purée the strawberries until chunky

2. In a large saucepan, bring strawberries, lemon juice and sugar to a boil; simmer over medium-low heat for three minutes. Strain through a cheesecake cloth lined sieve, pressing the liquid out. Let the syrup cool.

3. In a serving pitcher, combine the syrup with the water. Add the ice cubes to chill. Pu in the fridge for 10-15 minutes so it's nice and cold. Pour into glasses. Garnish each glass with a mint sprig and a strawberry.

Enjoy!

3/13/2012 #10
A Ghost Who Walks

Here's a recipe for mango lassi. Lassi is a sweet or savoury Indian drink made from a yogurt or buttermilk base and mixed with water. I've had plain lassi, which tasted like runny yogurt, but my favourite is mango lassi. It's wonderfully creamy, with a sour tang to it like yogurt. Combine that with mango, and you have a winning combination.

Mango Lassi Recipe

INGREDIENTS

1 cup plain yogurt

1/2 cup milk

1 cup chopped mango (peeled and stone removed)

4 teaspoons sugar, to taste

A dash of ground cardamom (optional)

METHOD

Put mango, yogurt, milk, sugar and cardamom into a blender and blend for 2 minutes, then pour into individual glasses, and serve. Can sprinkle with a little cardamom. The lassi can be kept refrigerated for up to 24 hours. Yield: Makes about 2 cups.

You can drink it any time, but I like it served with Indian food; it tempers the spiciness.

4/2/2012 . Edited 4/2/2012 #11
whisperasweknowit

Whisp's Quick and Easy Crepes

(For the amateur cook who still wants to nom delicious things)

YOU WILL NEED:

-two eggs

-one cup of milk

-two tablespoons of sugar

-one cup of flour

-and some other things that we'll talk about later

(I usually half the recipe if I make food just for myself)

OMG DIRECTIONS:

Take your eggs and beat those mofos in a bowl until they look reasonably blended. Pour in the milk and whisk that all together so it looks less yellow and more crepe-colored. Then dump in yo' sugar. Don't worry about mixing after this step because it won't reaaally matter if you just wait until you add the flour before more whisking. So then add your flour and try not to spill that shit everywhere while you mix. It'll look clumpy and gross at first but then when you're finished it'll be a nice, smooth batter.

SO NOW YOU HAVE BATTER. LOOK AT YOU, YOU CHEF.

Grease a pan with whatever you use to grease shit with. I use butter because the original recipe called for melted butter but it didn't work when I added it to the mix so I was like "fuck that" and it still tastes good so yes.

Turn up the heat to like medium low so you don't burn shit. Take like a fourth of a cup of batter and pour it into the pan. You can add as much as you like if you want massive fucking crepes, but 1/4 of a cup will make good-sized ones. They'll be the size of a breakfast plate (not a dinner plate. I don't know how to describe it. IT JUST WORKS.)

Right, so, leave that there for two minutes, or until it starts to brown on the the underside. Then use a spatula to flip it and leave it on the heat for another minute. If it isn't cooked, just keep cooking it until it is. The timing depends on your heat levels.

AND NOW YOU HAVE A CREPE OH SO EXCITING.

So now we're at "the other shit" in the ingredients. This refers to toppings.

I personally like to microwave frozen raspberries until they're liquid-y and put those inside and then put way too much fucking powdered sugar on top. Lots of people like Nutella but I'm allergic to that shit.

A few other good topping ideas:

-dice up an apple, attack it with cinnamon, and put the pieces inside. Drown with maple syrup.

-dice up a pear, attack it with cinnamon, and put the pieces inside. I was out of maple syrup when I tried this, so I topped with powdered sugar instead, which was tasty, but a little dry. Maple syrup will probably be really good.

-fill the inside with powdered sugar and then drizzle lemon juice on that until it's like a glaze

These are excellent with both green tea and hot chocolate, but do whatever you want on the beverage front. Like the toppings, it's down to personal preference.

ENJOY YOUR CREPES YOU FRENCH BASTARD. :3

4/19/2012 #12
whisperasweknowit

Whisp's Hot Chocolate

(I mean, I guess you could be lazy and just dump Swissmiss in hot water but that isn't nearly as orgasm-inducing)

YOU WILL NEED:

-hot chocolate powder (I personally use the Double Chocolate Ghirardelli cocoa powder because it's tasty as fuck. The chocolate mocha one is also delicious)

-milk

-and possibly other shit. We'll discuss later.

DIRECTIONS:

So, take your mug. Fill it up with milk so that you know how much you need. Then dump that in an appropriately sized saucepan. Turn on the heat. It'll be ready when a "skin" forms on top of the milk. I've never timed this, so I don't know how long it takes. I use the "pinky test", which is when you stick your pinky in and see if it's fucking hot or not. You don't necessarily have to wait for this "skin" to form because it's kind of gross (you'll know it's there because you stick your pinky in and when you take it out the "skin" comes out with it so it's like slightly solid milk or something I dunno just wash it off and calm yo' tits), but it's a good indicator.

Take a spoon (just a regular soup spoon) and put three heaping spoonfuls in your mug. If you have a small mug, you may want to cut it down to two.

Take your hot milk and pour it into your mug. Stir that shit until it's nice and smooth. Only don't stir it too much because if you do there won't be any delicious melted chocolate-like concoction at the bottom of your mug when the hot chocolate is gone. Though I guess if you don't like that then stir that fucker real good.

OKAY SO THE OPTIONAL INGREDIENTS.

I usually put a mountain of whipped cream on top because mmmmm whipped cream. Also, peppermint candy canes are a delicious additive. If you don't have candy canes and you're feeling adverturous, you can add an itty little bit of peppermint extract to the cocoa powder before you add the milk. Keep in mind that this stuff is EXTREMELY POTENT so if you add more than a drop or two it will overpower the delicious chocolate.

Drink it while it's hot or it won't be as good.

AND THERE YOU GO, MY DEARS.

4/19/2012 #13
The Illuminated Illusionist

Blaire's Lazy Day Tortilla melt

(For those days you just want to throw something in the microwave and relax...)

You need:

-Any kind of tortilla

-Shredded cheese (make sure it melts easy)

-Any kind of toppings you want if you feel like being fancy (but really it's good with just plain cheese)\

Directions:

Take your Tortilla out of the package. Put it on a plate. Take the cheese out of the package. Put as much on as you want (I recommend using a lot, the cheesier the better). Put the tortilla in the microwave for one minute and thirty seconds. If it comes out all crispy like a chip, awesome, if it's still soft, just roll it up and eat it like that. I've found it's good either way.

Finally...

Serve on a paper plate and eat it before it gets cold! Try pairing this treat up with your favorite soda and a marathon of YouTube videos and/or your favorite TV show.

Enjoy!

4/22/2012 #14
wach

I added sticks of cinnamon into the saucepan with Whisp's Hot Chocolate and it was amazing. Give it a go, folks.

4/22/2012 #15
President Snow

Chocolate Truffles

Ingredients:

(by the way, by cup I mean the actual measuring cup, just clearing that up.)

1. 2 cups of crushed biscuits.

(You can either crush them yourselves, which I did with Arrowroots, or buy pre-crushed ones. Either's fine. I did both and they don't taste different.)

2. 1 cup of desiccated coconut.

3. 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder.

4. 400 grams of condensed milk.

(This should be just about a can.)

5. Moar desiccated coconut that you will roll these truffles in.

Equipment:

1. Tray

2. Large bowl

3. Bowl or plate or whatever you see fit to roll your truffles in desiccated coconut in.

Method:

1. Cover the tray with baking paper.

2. Pour desiccated coconut in your bowl/plate/whatever you see fit. Make sure you don't put too much in...

3. Mix the crushed biscuits, desiccated coconut, cocoa and condensed milk in the large bowl. Yes, with your hands. Well you can start with a spoon but eventually you're going to have to use your hands anyway...

4. Roll the mixture into small balls, roll them in the coconut, and place them on the tray.

5. Refrigerate them for as long as you see fit.

And then you can eat them. :D

For how many it makes, it depends on how big/small you make them. I made twenty-four, and mine were... truffle sized, or how it is called. O.o

6/7/2012 #16
A Band Of Thieves

WHISP I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR CREPES FOR BREAKFAST TOMORROW.

6/10/2012 #17
Lostliveson4eva

Bumped so all the unlocked threads are before the locked.

11/17/2013 #18
Sciamachys

Poutine is soooo good..

12/19/2013 #19
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