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Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

This thread is in preparation to be separated into two threads. Codes have been set in place in each post to signify what posts will be moved and what posts will remain in this thread.

V=Violation post. Post will be moved.

R=Request post. Post will remain in this thread.

Post links to stories in need of help here. Please include the reson the story is being placed in this thread along with a link.

Please note that all posts here not containing a link will be deleted.

Please keep in mind the Reviewing Ideals.

If stories are deleted, the post will be edited by a moderator, and the link will be bolded.

Stories with requests for a basic or intricate run-through of critique or even rule breaking fics can be placed here.

You'll see bolded notes on some of the posts. These are the result of moderator edits.

If the link is bolded and there is a note on the bottom of the post that reads "Deleted", then the story has been deleted and remains in wait for archiving.

If the link is bolded and a note on the bottom of the post reads "Deleted and listed", "Placed on list" or "Final", then the links have been posted in the archive of deleted/helped fictions.

12/20/2010 . Edited 9/30/2011 #1


Critique needed for this one, possibly reporting if you think allegiances (list of characters and their descriptions) at the beginning is a terrible thing. Grammatical errors that need fixing. Typos and whatnot. I think this author could become a real gem with some help.

I, myself, will review when I feel up to it. ^^;;;;;;;

Story deleted. Placed on list.

Code V

12/20/2010 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #2
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond


Critique is needed here. The story is a re-take of another story. Link given at the top. Grammatical errors need to be fixed.

After 3-4 days, if the story is not changed, you may report if you see fit.

Story purged. Placed on list.

Code V

12/20/2010 . Edited 9/30/2011 #3


A Batman fic in which a young woman is in love with Jim Gordon. Who is married with two kids. Does that stop the chick from dressing provocatively and going to dinner with him? 'Course not, she's Mary Sue, she can be a home-wrecker if she wants to be!

I got a PM from the author after my second review:

If you have something to say i'd rather have you tell me on here. Yourcritisism is not going to keep me from writing this story. It's only 2chapters and you know nothing about Ann yet.


Code R+recommended deletion.

12/21/2010 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #4
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

MA Content




Troll Fics


Authors Note Chapters


Authors Note deleted. Bolds placed.

Code V

12/23/2010 . Edited 9/30/2011 #5
like an american

Percy Jackson ASOUE Chatbox

Reason: This is written in an illegal format with horrible grammar, spelling and punctuation. The characters are completely out of character and I feel as if they are being beaten and abused by the writer in a most horrendous way. She also says that she has not read Harry Potter and she uses a Harry Potter character and spells his name wrong as well as the spell, "Expecto Patronum."

Story deleted. Placed.

Code V

12/30/2010 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #6

IMing with the Cullens (Hyper-Link)

This story is also in a forbidden format. There are many issues throughout the chapter including spacing, spelling and grammar.

I was gifted with the following reply:

Excuse me? I am English first of all and if you dont like it, guess what I DONT GIVE A F***. Get off my story if you dont like it. I hope I dont hear from you again and guess what iDGAF if you report me they wont do anything. Thank you for being a jerk its people like you that make this world hell. Love and Rockets, xxxDepressedxxx

Story deleted. Placed.

Code V

12/30/2010 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #7


This story has an author's note as a chapter and they spelled "hiatus" wrong. There are grammatical errors everywhere.

Code V

12/31/2010 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #8


Troll fic. Actually, everything on here is a troll. Go through until your fingers bleed and troll hunt.

Story deleted. Placed.

Code V

1/3/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #9

I'm, uh, actually looking for concrit on a couple of my own stories, but I wasn't entirely sure if this was the right place? It looks as though it is, so I guess I'll just go ahead.

I'd like concrit on either of my two stories, Masquerade or Fifty Days.I've had concrit onFifty Days before, and it's longer than the other one, so I'd prefer it if you could offer concrit on the first of the two. You can probably tell, once you click my profile, but I'm very much a Naruto kind of girl; so, if Naruto isn't your cup of tea, then you don't have to check it out! I'd like concrit on the first, because I haven't had any for that, and, well, concrit is always nice. And, for the second; it's nice to see, I suppose, if I've improved?

Just a few things to note;

Masqueradehas a whole bunch of run-on sentences, and the like, and occasionally says, "Screw the grammar, I, uh, have money?", but I know that. It's a style I was going for, to mimic the sort of whimsical world of Alice in Wonderland. It's not a crossover, to be honest, but it does borrow from that world.Masqueradeis also seven chapters long; a review on the first chapter wouldn't be entirely useful, because the first chapter is pretty much there just to confuse the reader? On the other hand,Fifty Daysis pretty much all characterization and no plot, so far; so if you don't know the characters of Naruto, then you'd probably prefer to skirt away from this one. AndFifty Daysis fifteen chapters long, so far. Woo!

I'd love some concrit, thank you very much! Just pick whichever one you like better, if you can't do both; and, if you can't do either, I'll, uh, run and find someone else? And I apologise if I've posted in the wrong thread. D:

Code R

1/5/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #10

Son of Neptune

I didn't give much of a review on there because I didn't have time, but I PM'ed her about it when I got back online and she takes horribly to constructive criticism, but she needs it. You can't read the dialogue and her characters are completely OOC.

Also? She's a brat.SHE'S TWELVE YEARS OLD!

What the Hell is OOC?? And I am not reviewing myself, what the f***! Unlike you people like my stories, so stop being jealous and deal with it, b***! Seriously, I can't believe people think you're writing is good. Your so obsessed with proper this and proper that, I'm wondering if you have any friends? I would never ever, even if my life depended on it, be friends with you. You want to win arguments, go ahead! I am only 12 years old, how old are you, CLAIRE??? You expect me to know exactly what to write? Exactly what to use? Why don't you stop pretending like your better than everyone else and show me. Show me you're better, otherwise I'll continue to think you are a spineless piece of c*** underneath me. I don't give a d*** if you report me, because I have a life! You and your stupid "comrades" can go ahead and whatever you freakin' want, because you're not worth my time.Hope you go die in a hole, because that is what you deserve,Athena

Code V/R-- recommended for deletion.

1/6/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #11


I was expecting more from the last chapter of this story, but it just seemed like the author half assed it. Can somebody give some criticism as to the quality of the last chapter?

Oh, and I forgot to sign my last review. :/

Story deleted. Placed.

Code R

1/6/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #12

Author: Kai2

Fandom(s): Xiaolin Showdown, Code: Lyoko, W.I.T.C.H.

Story: Her Final Stand

Story: Code: Lyoko: Discovered

Story: The Lost Dragon

One of three purged. One of three placed.

Code R

1/16/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #13
Serenity in Virginia


This is actually my own story. I was wondering if I was doing okay so far.

Edit:Story purged. Placed.

Code R

1/17/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #14

Author: Neo Aguni

Story: Angel of Mine

The author has inserted song lyrics by the Subsonics, or a song known as Angel of Mine. Actually, a very good song that is on my ipod. Refuse to take it down.

Edit: Author has taken out the song lyrics.Due to this fic being helped/edited to conform, this posting has been placed.

Code V

1/18/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #15
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond


Explicit MA fic, Spyro/Cynder lemon. No need to wait to report, the author was warned a while ago.

Story edited to conform with Guidelines. Listed because of this.

Code V

1/19/2011 . Edited 9/30/2011 #16

Author: forgotten-sakura

Story:New Hosts, New Club

Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club

Rules Broken: SYOC

Carissa!edit~ Story purged.


Code V

1/20/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #17

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6416299/ is the link to Va Group Therapy by mickeymickeyVA. Lessthanthree-Carissa already reviewed this telling the author it is against ToS and the author didn't take it down. Please report.

Edit: Story purged. Listed.

Code V

1/22/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #18

Author: AngelinaHeartsYou

Story: Good Luck Applicants!

Story: Welcome to St. Vladimir's!

Story: Massie's New Clique

Story: New Fledglings

Story: I See Everything

Story: William McKinley High

Story: Hannah Montana High School

Story: The Newest Random

Story: Collison

Story: Living the Suite Life

Story: Drama, laughs and BFF's

Story: New Total Drama

Story: Chicago's Students!

Story: Forks High School

Story: New Year, No Rose, Same School

Story: Who Are You?

Story: Dear Dumb Diary: These Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!

Same author for all of them, different fandoms.

Rules Broken: SYOC and author's notes as chapters

Some stories have been purged. Please repair this list when the topic change occurs.

Code V

1/22/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #19
Aspiring Mythmaker


Why yes, this is one of mine. Unfortunately, while I appreciate the criticism I've gotten from my reviewers, most of the recommendations have already been applied. I'd like to get a better idea of where I stand, and what I can do to improve. I'll take whatever I can get.

Code R

1/26/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #20
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

Stories are all by the same author with a few rules violated. Check her other fics, as I did not check all of them~

Author~ Man_Suz_She


Sonny_With_A_Music_Video (musical lyrics)

Save_The_Whales (non-story)

Our_Break_Up_Song (musical lyrics)

Girlfriend (non-story chapter/interactive)

Dear_Authors_Readers_and_Reveiwers (non-story content for two chapters)

All stories purged.

Code V

1/27/2011 . Edited 9/30/2011 #21

I got a violotial girl who screamed and yelled at me when I kindly ask her to remove her story. She doesn't think its against the rules. It is an original fic.

Author: Flyleaf-Punkie

Story: Depleting Hope

Fadom she posted in: A Child Called It (which should technically not be a fandom as it is an autobiography)

Any help would be much appreciated.


Code V

1/28/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #22

Author: KateT101

Story: The Gift

Fandom: Ghost Whisperer

Notes: This is original fiction. The author has taken the idea of being able to see ghosts, made her own story, then posted it in the Ghost Whisperer fandom.

Code V

2/2/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #23

Author: SweetLala92

Story: Love Will Change Everything

Notes: Rape fic. -.- Written in chat/script format, I'm pretty sure that the rating is lower than the actual story content.

Code V

2/3/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #24
Madame Apathy


Very bad grammar. Text talk and everything. Help, please?

Code V

2/3/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #25
Madame Apathy


I think this is an attempt to troll. I think.

Code V

2/4/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #26
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

The following stories are all by Spiral. Multiple song-fics, along with a couple a/n chapters.

Song-fics (all are hyperlinked):

Edit: All of these stories have been purged.







Authors note stories/chapters (hyperlinked):

F_The_Mainstream(both chapters 1 and 2 are a/n material)

Total_Drama_Beasts(chapter 1 only, interactive Submit-Your-Own-Character story)

Reviewed all of them, myself. Have fun~

Stories purged. Listed.

Code V

2/7/2011 . Edited 9/30/2011 #27
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

Oh, and this~


Repost for the third time. Truth or dare.

Story purged~

Code V

2/7/2011 . Edited 9/30/2011 #28

Author: Cgaume12

Story: The Legend of Spyro: Shift

I would appreciate aid on the more recent chapters, as saying anything about the first several is pointless now and may be redundant. I know what most of my mechanical are. You can point them out, but I probably already make all attempts to do it correctly. I really need more feedback on the plot and , if you know them, characters. This story is just getting going. I thank you in advance for anything you can provide.

Code R

2/12/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #29

Hello, this is a link to a few of my friends stories. She wants people to review and tell her how she's doing on the story but she couldn't get on FF because her computer is currently broken so she asked me to post some links here.

Story: The Recruits

Story: Here With Me Now

Story: Fallen Angel

All of those stories are for the Vampire Academy fandom. I think they're going well so far but the author wants constructive criticism. the author has more stories but these are her three main stories. Please criticise constructivley.

Code V/R

2/13/2011 . Edited by Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond, 9/30/2011 #30
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