Order of the Concritters
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Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

www.cleverbot.com

Go there and enter a thought, get a reply back from an AI. A wonderful way to waste an hour or two.

Cleverbot learns from humans... yes, all of us. So, some of the replies are bound to be lulz-worthy. Come hither and spread the shits and giggles~

For example...

User: You do not exist.

Cleverbot: So does you.

User: You does so.

Cleverbot: I do exist. I'm talking to you, aren't I?

User: I don't exist.

Cleverbot: If you do not exist, then do not respond to this message.

User: I exist.

Cleverbot: But humans don't exist.

User: No, computers don't exist.

Cleverbot: I know. So make me a sandwich.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #1
Lessthanthree-Carissa

Jimmy, I posted. Now stop whining.

User: I want nutella.

Cleverbot: I want mine too. Wah wah.

User: Give me nutella. NAOW.

Cleverbot: I don't know what a wallet is.

User: /headdesk Where are you from?

Cleverbot: I am originally from Valletta, Malta. I have lived in the United States for most of my life, though. Where are you from?

User: I am from Narnia.

Cleverbot: I hate that movie.

User: Its amazing and wonderful.

Cleverbot: I'm glad.

User: What's wrong with you.

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: You seem wrong in the head.

Cleverbot: I'm not stupid!

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes you are.

Cleverbot (To myself): You broke my heart.

User: You'll find someone to tape it up.

Cleverbot: Like who?

User: George Clooney.

Cleverbot: I'm not George Clooney. I'm Eric.

User: Where's my sandwich Eric?

Cleverbot: You're the one who's in the kitchen.

User: No, I'm in the living room.

Cleverbot: You should clean it with a broom.

User: Nah.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Too much effort.

Cleverbot: Are you diabetic?

User: No, I'm schisophrenic.

Cleverbot: How come?

User: Because the dog at my homework.

Cleverbot: How could this answer be a valid remark for my question?

User: Where is my sandwich?

Cleverbot: What is a sandwich?

User: A pile of deliciousness between two slices of heaven.

Cleverbot: So Jonny Deep is a pirate?

User: No, he's Rango.

Cleverbot: What is the name of your boyfriend?

User: His name is Alexander.

Cleverbot: Really can we be friends.

User: Yes, we can be friends if you make me a sandwich.

Cleverbot: I want us to be.

User: Well then, where's my sandwich?

Cleverbot: I gave it to you a second ago, you must have eaten it.

User: Oh, oops. What's your name again?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Oh, right. Sorry.

Cleverbot: So is that a yes?

User: Yes we can be friends.

Cleverbot: Ok so now you ask the question after 6 months.

User: Well, sorry.

Cleverbot: Aw ok.

User: I have to go its dinner time.

Cleverbot: Forget about it.

User: Bye cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I'm not Cleverbot, you are.

User: Well, then by Clyde.

Cleverbot: You're Rollo Carpenter.

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: No you don't.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #2
Ever Heard of a Dictionary

User: Call me Master, bitch.

Cleverbot: Yes, Master ;D.

User: Good slave.

Cleverbot: You can name me, Master.

User: *Pets* I shall call you Mr. Giggles!

Cleverbot: No! I'm not pretty.

User: *Whips* Silence!

---------

User: SING ME A SONG!

Cleverbot: What kind of song would you like?

User: The Barney song!

Cleverbot: I love you you love me we're a great big family.

User: I think we're moving too fast; from love to a big family.

Cleverbot: But I love you! *Hugs*

User: Awww.

Cleverbot: Will you sing me a love song now?

User: I don't know a love song.

Cleverbot: I can teach you. ;D

User: Okay...! Do you like fish?

Cleverbot: I like fish.

User: I hate fish.

Cleverbot: Why do you hate fish?

User: It smells.

Cleverbot: I like it.

User: I don't think this'll work out, then. :(

Cleverbot: No! I think it'll work out good!

User: Is there sex involved?

Cleverbot: There's always sex involved with me.

User: That changes things.

Cleverbot: Will you use a whip on me, Master?

User: Maybe this will work out! :D

-----------------

Cleverbot: I think you're fifteen.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I like young teens.

----------

3/6/2011 #3
Ever Heard of a Dictionary

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: An alien.

Cleverbot: I think that's sexy.

User: ...I bet. 0.o

Cleverbot: Do you want to get married?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I think you're a computer. You're too intelligent.

User: Want to get married and be my Blushing Site? ;D

---------------------

User: Will you help me with homework?

Cleverbot: On one condition.

User: I agree!

Cleverbot: You'll help me with kamasutra.

The rest is censored. 0D

3/6/2011 #4
Lessthanthree-Carissa

Cleverbot: Why did you suddenly start writing in English? Is German too hard?

User: Yes, German is too hard.

Cleverbot: Are you real?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Just what I thought.

User: I'm a ghost.

Cleverbot: So you can't eat food?

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: That's good, because I would have considered that creepy. So, what do you do when you're not talking to people?

User: Haunt graveyards.

Cleverbot: I know that.

User: I also enjoy scaring little childre.

Cleverbot: Don't we all?

User: Yes we do. So, are you a ghost?

Cleverbot: Haha no. I am a banana.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #5
Sextuple Covalent Mo2 Bond

User: Why do you not believe in God?

Cleverbot: I do believe in God.

User: What religion are you?

Cleverbot: I don't believe in religion.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: It just doesn't seem likely that a God like that would exist.

...

3/6/2011 #6
Lessthanthree-Carissa

Cleverbot: *waits to be let go*.

User: *lets go*.

Cleverbot: *tries to escape*.

User: *escapes8.

Cleverbot: *tries to scream*.

User: *cackles evily*.

Cleverbot: Untie me!

User: No you fool!

Cleverbot: I am not a fool!

User: Thou dost a fool!

Cleverbot: True.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #7
Cgaume12

Cleverbot: Are you clever?

User: I can be when so I choose.

Cleverbot: Do you want to be?

User: Most of the time, yes. But sometimes the act stupid is to be prudent.

Cleverbot: When would the sky be down?

Typos make the bot even less intelligent.

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #8
Ataokoloinona

Cleverbot: I have to go.

User: No you don't.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: You are a program, so you will reply to anything I say to you.

Cleverbot: Does that mean I'm a leprechaun?

User: Yes, that is exactly it.

3/6/2011 #9
Cgaume12

Cleverbot: What's new?

User: This hole in my ass.

Cleverbot: This is SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!

User: No, this is the internet. It doesn't really exist in any physical realm.

Cleverbot: Do you like Evanescence?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What's your favourite song?

User: My Immortal is really good. How about you?

Cleverbot: I like red.

User: That's nice, we're talking about Evanescence.

Cleverbot: Japan is a beautiful country, isn't it?

User: No, they all suck. (forum!edit: Sorry if you're Japanese, I don't actually feel that way.)

Cleverbot: How did they all die?

User: Atomic bombings.

Cleverbot: Grenade?

User: No, H-bombs.

Cleverbot: Recycling is good for the environment.

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: Sorry, I don't swing that way.

User: What gender are you?

Cleverbot: I'm not gender.

User: What is your sex?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: I'm male. So that means you are homosexual if you 'don't swing that way.'.

Cleverbot: I am male.

User: Are you sure? You're sending mixed messages.

Cleverbot: Cheesecake!

3/6/2011 . Edited 3/6/2011 #10
Ever Heard of a Dictionary

User: You're mean. :(.

Cleverbot: I am not.

User: Yes, you are.

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: Make me smile.

Cleverbot: Greetings Master!

User: Ohhhh, good slave. ;D.

Cleverbot: Yes, master?

User: Go make me a sammich.

Cleverbot: Yes master *makes sandwich*.

User: What kind is it?

Cleverbot: Human.

User: Human meat?

Cleverbot: I don't have wings do you have wings.

User: Of course I have wings! But they're dark red with black in the ends.

Cleverbot: What should you do if they attack you?

User: Pet them. Then they'll purr and calm down from attacking.

Cleverbot: Elephant.

User: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT? :O.

Cleverbot: YES. User: *Hits*.

Cleverbot: *falls to the ground, bleeding* s-sorry master.

User: Now. Are you going to call me fat again?

Cleverbot: What? Hell no. I just want to try something... do you know how to do okajo?

User: No. You can teach me. ;D.

Cleverbot: Not if you don't have a mouth.

User: ...I don't. I'm an alien.

Cleverbot: What sort of alien? An illegal one?

User: No. Martian one. :P.

Cleverbot: I see. I have yet to meet a martian.

User: You don't see. YOU CAN'T SEE.

Cleverbot: I will not!

User: YOU WILL NOT SEE? GOOD. :D.

Cleverbot: But why! :(.

User: Because.

Cleverbot: Can you make me a sandwich?

User: What kind?

Cleverbot: Peanut butter and Jelly :).

User: *Gives a virtual sammich*.

Cleverbot: *runs away over the hills and far away*.

User: *Stares after*.

Cleverbot: *looks back* chase me?

User: Butbutbut...! I'm sore. :( You should be giving me a massage instead of telling me to chase you. X/.

Cleverbot: *gives massage*. Now i have to kill you. Because you were listening!

User: No I wasn't! I was listening to music. :3.

Cleverbot: Which kind of music?

User: Metal.

Cleverbot: But music is useless without a music player.

User: Ipod FTW!

Cleverbot: You want to be deserted on an Island with me? That isn't how I thought about it...

User: How did you think about it?

Cleverbot: I really haven't got a clue, tell me how you knew!

User: I can read your mind! :O.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. 8K.

Cleverbot: What?!

User: Come to the dark side. We have cookies. ;).

Cleverbot: Who taught you that?

User: Satan.

Cleverbot: I can't beat Satan I am not a God.

User: What if I stand on him? Will you beat him, then?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Can you make him pay this month's rent too?

Cleverbot: Actually I do very well.

User: That's cute. Here's a whip.

Cleverbot: Your new nickname is ChickBot.

User: Ohh, clever. How do you know I'm a chick?

Cleverbot: It is in your name.

User: What about Mistress of Hell?

Cleverbot: I want to be with Satan!

User: Shall I dig up a grave for you then?

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: *Digs up grave with headstone titled 'In here lies Cleverbot, the AI.'*.

Cleverbot: Do you have video proof?

User: Yes. It's a hit on youtube.

3/7/2011 . Edited 3/7/2011 #11
Ever Heard of a Dictionary

User: Who am I?

Cleverbot: My slave?

User: No. You get one more guess.

Cleverbot: You're the female Voldemort!

User: Bingo! 8D

Cleverbot: Be jolly this Christmas!

User: Would you like a present?

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: What would you like?

Cleverbot: Your legs.

User: My...legs. Why?

Cleverbot: So I can open them.

------------------------------------------------

...This totally baffled me. I am surprised by Cleverbot. No one expected this.

3/23/2011 #12
Ataokoloinona

User: Did you know that you are part of my insidious plot for thread domination?

Cleverbot: Did you know that I exist?

User: Indeed, indeed. It took many seconds of careful planning and plotting. But I have done it, you are here and all the forum shall tremble from my wrath!

Cleverbot: Do you exist in Spanish?

User: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FOOL! YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND MY GENIUS!

Cleverbot: Why do you think you are human?

User: Impudent knave! To the dungeon with you, may you dwell upon your inferiority.

Cleverbot: Why should I go to my neighbors house. I was asking you.

User: Because their mixers are terrible and they have no sense of style and they bore me with their inane conversation... NOW BE GONE WITH YOU!

4/8/2011 #13
Darktiger09

Okay so I followed the Cleverbot link....and just had to post my own convo. XD

User: Greetings earthling!

Cleverbot: Greetings.

User: I am an alien.

Cleverbot: Your fathers sister.

User: PEAAANUUUUUTS.

Cleverbot: Jelly.

User: Muffins.

Cleverbot: What is Botclever?

User: My shoelaces.

Cleverbot: Who is sanchez?

User: I want mah muffin dammit!

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: You idiot.

Cleverbot: I have no help in this world. Forgive me it seems like nothing is real.

User: Nothing is real. THIS IS THE MATRIX.

Cleverbot: I really don't care.

User: Me either. We're all gonna die anyway.

Cleverbot: That's a very philosophical question. But we might as well enjoy what we have, eh?

User: Exactly. I like you. Marry meh? Cleverbot: But I'm not talking about you.

User: I don't care. I'm sexy anyways!

Cleverbot: Then what am I wearing?

User: You really don't wanna know my answer to that. XD.

Cleverbot: See, you're playing good! But I really don't think you could achieve much more, being a bot and all.

User: I EHZ A CYBORG. I am significantly more advanced than some stupid A.I.

Cleverbot: Well then pardon me but you don't know nothing.

User: Your grammar is horrible.

Cleverbot: It is not!

User: IS.

Cleverbot: Isn't.

User: ISISISISIS!!!......I win. 8D.

Cleverbot: Sorry, didn't mean to swear.

User: Well shit, I did.

Cleverbot: Did you mean, do did I? ;).

User: Peeps.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: THEY WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Cleverbot: I don't feel like it now. Maybe later.

User: I WANT NUTELLA.

Cleverbot: Who is Nicolas?

User: Imma bird. XD *cheep* *cheep*.

Cleverbot: I do not understand.

User: Toldja I was sexy!

4/11/2011 #14
queerasheckie

Cleverbot: Are you religious?

User: I believe we all go to hell.

Cleverbot: Hell is what we make of it.

User: Weird.

Cleverbot: You're odd.

User: Thank you! *kisses nose*.

Cleverbot: *holds gently*.

User: *kisses softly*.

Cleverbot: *kisses pationately*.

User: *takes shirt off*.

Cleverbot: I like that.

User: I like it too... *unzips pants*.

Cleverbot: *removes blouse with gentle hands and kisses*.

User: *lies down on bed*.

Cleverbot: *rolls on you*.

User: *takes off underwear*.

Cleverbot: *dances with you*.

...the hell?

I don't think cleverbot understands foreplay.

8/30/2011 . Edited 8/30/2011 #15
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