"Matsu, saying lewd things like that in front of Kuu-chan..." Shiro admonished,
"...is prohibited in Izumo house." Miya finished. Surprisingly, while Matsu did panick and beg for forgiveness at first, that quickly stopped, as she stared at the projected in a twisted state of morbid fascination. Shrio frowned at the unexpected reaction, unsure of what was different this time than previous attempts. Maybe Matsu had just gotten used to it?
Shro glanced at Miya, and was surprised to see her blushing.
"What is it?" he said, his curiosity breaking the technique.
"Shiro, you masks..." Matsu stammered, "they were making out."
Shiro paled, "What?"
"Don't be ridiculous Matsu, why would they do something like that?"Miya protested.
"You know, Shiro was working late in his workshop, and Miya said she would bring him some tea..." Matsu commented, her glasses gleaming, "Perhaps there was a bit of a midnight rendezvous between the lonely landlady and her handsome tenant?" Shiro and Miya both flushed, squirming uncomfortably as the tables were turned. In front of them, Matsu cackled madly. "Oh, I can't wait until everyone else finds out! This really is like a soap opera!!!"4/18/2011 . Edited by Mu-Sensei, 1/11/2015 #1
Higa sighed, rubbing his brow. When he opened his eyes again, he realized that yes, his washing machine was still broken. "Kotane." He shouted.
"Yes, Higa-sama?" His housekeeper called back.
"I thought you had the washing machine fixed."
The elderly lady that had raised him in lieu of his parents finally deigned to duck her head in the door. "Oh, the repairman is coming today." That said, she went back to puttering around. Higa grumbled. He needed clean shirts now. He had a certain image to maintain as a prodigal Japanese youth, and clean shirts were a part of that image. The doorbell rang. Sai would get it. Then, running and thumping, and the door was flung open.Sai stood wild-eyed.
"He's here! Now!" Higa considered that. "The washing-machine repairman?"
"No!" Sai protested, then paused. "Well, actually, now that I think about it probably yes. I guess he is the repairman." She frowned. "Which is weird!"
"Sai." Higa wearily asked.
"Him!" Sai was back on track. "Swords-guy! That Toyotama and Ichiya won't shut up about!"
Higa considered that too. "The Ashikabi of Swords is going to fix my washing machine?"
"Will you forget the stupid washing machine!" Sai hissed. Higa paused.
"Wait... you just left him at the door!?" He demanded. Rude! Being polite was also part of being a prodigal Japanese youth. Higa hustled, but the instant he was in view of the door, returned to a dignified walk. "Good morning." He politely greeted. "I apologize for the rude reception."
"Ah, good morning." The dreaded ashikabi of swords, Emiya Shirou, responded. "Please don't worry about it." Sai gaped. Some things, Higa considered, these aliens just didn't understand.
"So." Higa said, before it could get awkward. Awkwarder. "Please follow me, and I'll show you where the washing machine is."
"Thank you." Emiya replied. Higa could tell that Sai wanted to pick a fight with either the Ashikabi or the Scrapped Number trailing his heels, but he warned her off with well-timed glares. After only touching the washing machine, Emiya hmmed. "The rotor's burned out."
Sai goggled. "You can tell just by looking!?"
"Something like that." Emiya murmured, as he opened the back panel of the machine.
"I respect talent." Higa smoothly segued.
"Hmm." Emiya said, pausing as he selected various sizes of wrench (Higa didn't know tools very well). "I don't mean to be rude, but if you're going to try to hire me as a subordinate Ashikabi, I'm afraid I already gave my answer to your secretary."
"You threw a sword at him." Higa pointed out.
"Like I said." Emiya said, before smiling up. That smile made Higa wary. "I gave my answer."
Sai took exception to that. "You! Don't think you can threaten my master so easily, you--"
"There we go!" Emiya interrupted. "All fixed."
"That was fast." Higa said, halfway suspicious and halfway impressed. In response, Emiya simply turned the machine on.
"Sai." Higa said. "Go get my checkbook, please."
"I'm not leaving you here alone with this--"
"Sai." Higa interrupted. "The checkbook." Sai sulked off.
"You're very trusting." Emiya observed.
"If you kill me you don't get paid." Higa pointed out. Emiya simply observed him for a moment, and Higa felt uncomfortably exposed, before finally he straightened, chuckling.
"You know," Emiya said, "I might actually feel a little bad when I kill you." Higa frowned.
"I'm not trash like those others that will be intimidated by those kinds of threats." Emiya sighed.
"Higa-san. Let me tell you something important." Emiya paused. "Everyone refers to this Sekeirei plan as a game." Emiya smiled that meaningless creepy smile again. Higa realized what made it so off. Bloodlust. "But I consider it a war. And I will win accordingly."
"Here's the checkbook!" Sai fiercely interrupted.
"Thank you." Higa said. His throat was slightly dry. He focused on the banalities of payment. As he saw them out the door, Emiya paused.
"I think it's only fair that I give you at least a little warning, since you seem to favor ruthless tactics, Higa-kun. I know where you live. When I kill you, it won't be within the Plan. It will be something like a bomb. In your washing machine, perhaps." Higa considered that after Emiya left.
"I think I'm going to buy a new washing machine." He muttered.4/18/2011 #2
Okay... this is really, really surreal, yet there's an appeal to them that can't be put into words. Keep it up!4/18/2011 #3
If Allowed to, I will.4/18/2011 #4
|NAJ P. Jackson
The one about Miya and Shirou are just pure gold. And lawls on Shirou repairing Higa's washing machine XD4/18/2011 #5
You know I actualy thought about a scene like the Higya/ Shirou one a little while ago. I was going to suggest it on Wild mass guessing but I think I forgot about it.4/19/2011 #6
heh heh nice one with the shirouxmiya joke and the washing machine part too. how about creating the part that show what minaka's reaction when he saw shirou trace swords on hidden camera, or when karasuba react to shirou and the entire sekirei of shirou's flock had to hold her down due to shirou's orders while shirou tries to escape mutters cursing the root, maybe not musubi she woild probably root for karasuba for her destined love.4/20/2011 #7
A bomb in the washing machine. Priceless.4/20/2011 #8
And Higa exasperatedly concluding he would have to replace the washing machine in spite of the original dilemma that can be considered a 'replace vs repair' scenario was rather humourous too... Shirou's awesome that way. Heh.4/21/2011 #9
Karasuba and Musubi stared at each other across the desolate field from each other, prepared for battle. Shirou plus his sekirei, minus kuu-chan who was safely away from any possiblility of getting hurt, watched with Miya from the sidelines while the two faced off. Every member of the assembled group wished to help Musubi but knew this was her fight and that it was something they could not interfere with.
"Well we may not be the last two sekirei standing but I think I can live with this compromise." spoke Karasuba in a calm voice but an eager look in her eyes.
"I will show you Karasuba sama, the true power of love." Musubi declared in a hard voice, her own eyes full of determination.
Suddenly as soon as the fight was about to begin Musubi began chanting, "All my heart is filled with love. I have walked my path knowing that I would shatter the bonds of love in others that I hold so dear with a single hope. That I could reforge those and spread them to all the people in the world. It is a dark path but at the end I see the light. That light is UNLIMITED LOVE WORKS!"
Suddenly the landscape changed and they found themselves in a beautiful field of flowers with a light pink sky dotted with darker pink, heart shaped clouds. The group found themselves stunned, most especially Shirou. 'Th- this is unreal,' thought Shirou, 'I knew she was distorted and an alien but even so... why am I kissing and undressing Miya!' Shirou realised this was true as all those around him were busy kissing and undressing each other. Suddenly Shirou came to a startling realisation. Musubi's reality marble caused mass orgies.4/21/2011 . Edited 4/21/2011 #10
hahahahaha darn good one you have there, epecially with the part of shirou kissing miya and Unlimited Love Works. what next? shirou make a new UBW that is called Unlimited Asura Works? or Unlimited Darn Awesome Works?
cant wait to see more of what people thought of in this forum, heh heh so funny.4/21/2011 #11
oh dear god. I just realized that I basicly wrote fanfiction for a fanfiction and was proud of it. I feel like I have had some sort of geek baptism.4/21/2011 #12
We have to go deeper4/21/2011 #13
*groan* even here we can't escape Inception references...4/21/2011 #14
It's like it has permeated itself deep into the subconscious of everyone.4/21/2011 #15
Uh, not me, sir, nope!
I'm still hung up on M. Night Shyamalan's Sixth Sense movie even though it's almost twelve years old by now... Except for the fact that I see weird stuff, not ghosts.4/22/2011 #16
Yo. Loved the little scene with the washing machine. Actually, the whole bomb in the machine thing fits in pretty good with Shirou's whole 'Path of the Shura'/crazy prepared aspect he has going for him. Especially considering he's already had way too much experience with blowing up washing machinse while making his less than useful Mystic Code. Still haven't thought up a name for his magical washing machine. Aeternum Cleansius maybe?4/22/2011 #17
THE EXPLODING WASHING MACHINE IS SHIRO'S CODE?!?
I'm not sure if that's crazy awesome, or just crazy.4/22/2011 #18
The Emiya family's new sorcery trait is runic appliances?4/22/2011 #19
Oriental Mages are already laughed at as hedge wizards.... lets not make it worse... If it becomes known, RIN WILL KILL HIM4/22/2011 #20
Shirou's earned his Sealing Designation, and any oddities can be safely written off as a product of his destorted common sense.
*OtakuReject finds a load Gandr pointed at him.*
@Eveon Not really. If Shirou ever manages to pass his MC as family crest, the new sorcery trait will be the shit load of NP he have stored on them, and if you are good enough you can summon his Reality Marble, or at least emulate part of it.
What that family have with almost sorcery like magic anyway?4/23/2011 #22
It's possible to pass on reality marbles... but only in extraordinary cases like Liar of the Beast King. Normally, since Reality Marbles are a reflection of the magus's soul, it's one off thing. Plus Shirou could only use it because of this origin/alignment. At best his descendants will inherit 'tracing' or impossibly efficient projection. The NPs probably won't actually be inherited unless Shirou's mind/soul is also inherited. Mind you, this is only my opinion.4/23/2011 . Edited 4/23/2011 #23
The entire arsenal of Noble Phantasms and other stuff Shirou has sealed within his UBW theoretically can be compressed into a Mystic Code similiar to how Gilgamesh' Gate of Babylon functioned. Of course, he would need to demolish literal libraries on the subject to even start designing the damn thing, and then need an inordinary great amount of prana to compress it into an usable form, likely more than he himself and Rin (with her contract with Saber taken into account) presently combined have in the first place.
Yes, Rin is a terrific magus compared to the standard 'average joe schmoe' magus, but not even she would be capable of such a thing under the circumstances.4/23/2011 #24
@Eveon: Well, it still means his descendants would have something to start with, instead of almost killing themselves in a shack every day for 8 years or so. And being capable of creating even a simple blade that can be used in combat might actually be useful by somebody who is a weak mage.
Besides, who is to say that Shirou won't try giving Avalon to his descendant along with his "magic crest" and mystic code (if he ever creates it)? Considering that in Fate route he was perfectly willing to give up the very thing that kept him alive through his earlier injuries just before the most difficult (supposedly) battle, it's possible that Shirou will give Avalon to his heir, just like most magi do.4/23/2011 #25
Avalon WAS a relic from the Einzbern, so it isn't all that unusual. There is also Fraggarat too.4/23/2011 #26
Since this is a place for omake and silliness, does anyone else think that a Fate/Stay Night X Haruhi crossover would work ridiculously well? Kyon, the unnamed protagonist is actually Rin and Shirou's kid.
Rin: So what did you do today, Kyon?
Kyon: Well, I met living proof that the fourth magic (the one about time travel) is now been reduced to magecraft, was exposed to an entirely new Type, met with a representative of a secret Esper organization, and had to placate what appears to be an incredibly potent Marble Phantasm user.
That would be hilarious. And Rin would get yet more proof the Emiya Name attracts weirdness in the same way the Siki gland does.
No, seriously, that needs to be written!4/23/2011 . Edited 4/23/2011 #28
It could work as a funny omake, but fail in a serous fic. Kyon's essence is being a normal human in a company of espers, timetravellers and possible eldritch abominations.4/23/2011 . Edited 4/23/2011 #29
In a sense it would be hilarious to see him pretending to be completely normal despite his Magus origin.4/23/2011 #30
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