|Silver Sun 17
crack unless you guys want it to not be crack.
"I'm coming, I'm coming." Rin yelled as she stalked up to the gate. "Who would bother us this late?" she muttered as she reached the entrance. "What's that big idea…? Oh Hell."
"Uh, hi, I'm Enki, is Emiya Shirou home? Asked the young man who looked like a literal clone of Rin's husband while a blonde woman tapped her foot impatiently behind him.
"SHIROU! WHEN IS ENOUGH, ENOUGH?" Rin's scream could be heard through entire compound.
"You knock me up and never even call and you expect me to tell you that you had a son?" the blonde woman asked haughtily.
"I don't even KNOW you, so how could I call? And when was Enki born anyway?" Shirou asked rubbing his forehead in despair as his wives glared holes in the back of his head.
"Nine months after your fight with Gilgamesh and you activated your reality marble."
"But the only person I slept…"
"Slept with? That's for humans. Your reality marble is what got me pregnant." Gaia declared
Gaia has a reality marble going at all times right? So when someone activates their own Reality marble they are coming on to Gaia and she decided that Shirou was a perfect candidate for her to have a child with.7/7/2011 #2,011
@ Silver Sun 17 on delicious crack
*maniacal laughter* Oh, that is just too good... but yes, crack it should remain. The Spirit of Gaia in EC "canon" should remain distinctly non-human IMO.
"A Reality Marble is when a magus forcing himself on the World." *more maniacal laughter*7/7/2011 #2,012
@ Silver Sun 17:7/7/2011 . Edited 7/7/2011 #2,013
If the spirit of Gaia should be distinctly non-human in canon then let me do this non-canon style... If you don't like it I'll erase it
Shirou: -"Wait does that means every time mage or elemental activates Reality Marble.... Oh Root does that mean that I you!!!!??[In utter self-disgust]
Gaia: - "They Ra*ed me? No it's not that easy. They may force themselves me, but this doesn't mean that they can go that far, I don't allow it. And about you [Turns her head and blushes] it was forcing, but I never said it was not consensual did I?
Shirou: [He turns his head starts bang it into wall, Enki follows his lead]
Nothing, so touching and manly like first father-son bonding.
|Silver Sun 17
@Kreyn *sniggers* thats a good one7/7/2011 #2,014
|lhklan The Unpronounceable
So... Gaia's an M?7/7/2011 #2,015
|Silver Sun 17
well considering how much humainty has done to her, that could be the only reason she hasn't given Primy the "wipe them out" order.7/7/2011 #2,016
*snicker* It's definetly possible. By the way I'm new here and wanted to say hi. I noticed that Luvia has finally joined the clan. *OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO* One question I have is with regards to the relationship between Keiko and Luvia's kids: which would be funnier, the three of them being rivals like their moms or them being best friends who can only watch in amusement while their mothers bicker? There must be many pass the popcorn moments if the second. One complaint I do have about all this is WHERE IS ILLYA?! We have Shirou with people like Altrouge and Medusa with Gil as a nanny but we don't have Illya in this? I don't care if she's one of Shirou's wives or an aunt like Yukari but I do want her in this somehow, preferably older so we can have Archerko as well.7/7/2011 . Edited 7/7/2011 #2,017
|Silver Sun 17
Luvia's kids are too young for a rivalry to start and even with rider being here this is based on UBW good end so Illya is...7/7/2011 #2,018
|lhklan The Unpronounceable
As long as is isn't Fate route,chance of Illya appearing is really low7/7/2011 #2,019
|lhklan The Unpronounceable
As long as is isn't Fate route,chance of Illya appearing is really low7/7/2011 #2,020
Illya is not here because she's passed on! This girl is no more! she has ceased to be! she's expired and gone to meet her maker!She's a stiff! Bereft of life, she rests in peace!she'd be pushing up the daisies! her metabolic processes are now history! She's off the twig! 'She's kicked thebucket, she's shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! SHE IS AN EX-HOMUNCULUS!
Remeber Emiya clan is based on "in flight" which is based on UBW the route where her heart is ripped out by Gillgamesh7/7/2011 #2,021
|Silver Sun 17
though my skills at writing are too low i did find a way to bring her in. someone (can't remeber who) made a (so far) oneshot about a cult trying to restart the grail war by bringing Illya back from the dead (the Illya's body but not her soul bit can be solved by the cultists useing a ritual that would resonate with the grail to bring back Illya body AND soul) and Shirou is about to crash it. my one shot inspired by it had the SOS Dan, Keiko, and Reiko about to use Reiko and Haruhi to open a portal to the exact spot of Illya the moment she is resuracted, grab her and pull her threw while tossing in a few garnades proved by Keiko. anyone what to take this and help bring Aunty Illya back from the dead?
you don't have to rude about it, you haven't even contrubited to the Clan yet.7/7/2011 . Edited 7/7/2011 #2,022
What you don't watch Monty Python?7/7/2011 #2,023
|Silver Sun 17
ohhhh, i always mean to borrow my great uncle's collected works dvd set and watch it stright through but things always come up.7/7/2011 #2,024
@Ironhades Yes, I know she's dead. But a man can dream can't he?
While I would like to see more of that one-shot silversun my writing skills are unfortunately not up to the task. Requesting help in bring Illya back into the fold of the clan please. (And more work for Throwaawy. *snicker*)7/7/2011 . Edited 7/7/2011 #2,025
|Silver Sun 17
uh, guys Raken just pulled a whole new level of badass.7/7/2011 #2,026
i wouldn't mind archer-ko though...
that man is the embodiment if "I Got Better"...
Emiya Clan - Nerima 09
"Ittai koko ha doko nanda?!"
Ryouga growled at nothing in particular as he took in his new surroundings. Large, well-maintained open field; large crowd of people training weapons on him; humongous, sprawling building in the distance... wait what?
He refocused his attention on the approaching crowd. The majority of the front-ranks were young adults, behind them were several groups of teenagers that looked to be his age, and several clusters of even younger children behind them. A school? An uncomfortable proportion of them were brandishing weapons of some sort at him; he could see several sets of swords, staves, daggers, and one of them appeared to have a large gun trained on him.
A tall purple-haired man approached him, his eyes narrowed behind the glasses he wore. "Who are you? How did you get here?"
Ryouga blinked sheepishly and held his hands out in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry about the wall, but I'm not exactly sure how I got here. My name's Ryouga Hibiki." He looked nervously at the crowd, "I, uh... mean you no harm?"
There was a shouted oath, then the crowd began to split up as somebody pushed their way through from behind. "Wait up, Takeshi! I know this guy!"
"You do?" there was confusion in the first man's voice.
"Oh yeah!" A black-haired teen pushed his way out and ran up to the two. He took a close look at Ryouga's face and all but cheered. "Ryouga Hibiki, I can't believe it!"
"Um, do I know you?" the Lost Boy asked.
Takeshi turned to the youth with an annoyed expression. "Haru?"
"Yeah, remember the boulder training I went through, how I got it from that manga?"
Takeshi's hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Chiyo doesn't let me forget. What does that have to do with... wait... no..."
Haru beamed, "Yep."
Ryouga looked between the two in confusion. Things didn't get any clearer when the apparent leader of the group swore openly, cursing something or somebody called 'Zelretch'.
"This... is quite a large house you have," Ryouga said in wonder as he was led through the halls.
"It works," said the excited black-haired teen -- Haru. "Try not to get lost." He grinned over his shoulder and Ryouga had the uncomfortable feeling he was being mocked.
Takeshi had dismissed the rest of the children, then appointed Haru to deal with the wayward martial artist. The two made their way to the kitchens, since Haru had just recently returned to the house himself and was 'quite famished' in his words. Along the way Ryouga had plenty of time to wonder at the odd circumstances he currently found himself in. Usually the places he found himself in were public areas. The few times he'd stumbled onto private property he'd been driven out almost immediately. Although, this group had pulled weapons on him...
He decided to blame Ranma for this confusing situation.
"Wrong way," he felt a sudden tug on his sleeve and a voice suddenly spoke up from behind him. Ryouga half jumped and spun around to find a short preteen girl in a black dress staring at him from the cross-corridor. She lifted a lace-covered arm and pointed down the other corridor. "Haru-nii," she said tonelessly.
Haru poked his head from around the corner, "Wow, I can't believe it's really true. Thanks, Chibi."
The goth-loli simply nodded and released his sleeve as he turned back to follow his guide.
"What's really true?" he asked.
"Your sense of direction," came the light reply. "I've read all about it but never expected to see it in action."
"You've read about it?"
"So, I was gonna make myself a sandwich," Haru said, dodging the question. "You want one? Chibi how about you?"
"Pudding," said the girl from behind him.
Ryouga's mind was swimming in total confusion now. These people knew him? And they'd read about him? This was definitely Ranma's fault somehow...
He came to the next intersection and turned the corner only to feel another tug on his sleeve.
Two sandwiches and a pudding later, the three were sitting at a table in what Haru called, the kitchen. It was certainly the largest kitchen he'd ever seen. His companions were also a very odd pair. The girl was happily scooping through her snack, swinging her feet childishly in her chair. It would have been a cute sight, except she maintained an utterly blank expression and was clutching a very creepy doll as she did so.
"So where do you know me from?" he turned to the other boy.
Haru froze with his sandwich halfway to his mouth. "Ah... well, my sister mentioned you."
Ryouga turned to look at creepy girl.
"No, not Chibi -- I mean Reiko -- my other sister, Koyuki mentioned you."
He frowned, "I don't know anybody by that name either."
Haru frowned through his own sandwich. "Weren't you at that fight of hers last week? Where she and three others challenged Ranma?"
"No," Ryouga tried to search his memory. "I heard about it, but wasn't able to find the school in time."
"How about the Saotome Dojo the week prior? I'm pretty sure I heard you being there at that time."
"I remember a new fiancée," Ryouga growled. "That bastard got himself another one, just to spite sweet Akane..."
"Whoa there," Haru cautioned him. "Wasn't his fault. He happened to trigger a reacti -- er, a rule that caused Koyuki to engage herself to him."
Ryouga blinked, "A rule? Is she --"
"Why does everybody keep asking that?!"
Chiho jumped at the unexpected outburst from her patient, then double checked to make sure she was still unconscious. Oddly enough, she'd felt the temperature drop briefly in that instant as well. With a shrug, she turned back to her desk to continue her work.
"-- Chinese? *splat* HEY!" Ryouga looked around wildly for whoever had just thrown a snowball at his head. The room was completely empty save the three of them, though.
"Huh, I didn't know she had that kind of range," Haru commented.
"A manga?!" Ryouga roared.
"See, this is why I didn't really want to tell you," Haru grumbled. "I knew you'd react like this."
"You've read about my life in a manga?! How?!"
"A wizard did it."
"...and so long story short, one of my sisters is now engaged to Ranma Saotome, while also involved in an ongoing deathmatch of sorts with the heir of the Joketsuzoku," Haru concluded.
Ryouga rubbed his temples. "I just know this is all Ranma's fault..."
"Well, they are technically fighting over him, so you're not actually wrong there..."
"And she's training?" Ryouga perked up slightly. He was interested in seeing what sort of styles this family produced.
"Well," Haru looked a bit subdued. "She's actually resting in the infirmary right now. She got pretty beat up by that Shampoo girl, but she insisted on training immediately and just made her condition worse. I think Chiyo's giving Arika a good lecture right now."
"She is," Reiko piped up.
Haru shuddered. Then turned to a speculative eye on the martial artist. "You know Shampoo better than the rest of us..."
"I know Ranma," Ryouga corrected him. "I have no interest in getting involved with his harem."
"Riiight... but you could still tell us how Koyuki would fare against her. Or give us tips for training her." Haru suddenly leaned forward, his eyes twinkling. "Or how I would fare against her."
Ryouga looked resignedly into the other boy's eyes. "I know that look. You just want a match, don't you."
Haru nodded unashamedly, "Yup. Hey if I win, can you teach me the rest of the Bakusai Tenketsu?"
Ryouga sighed. "Lead me back outside..."7/7/2011 #2,027
My respect for Rakan rises even further. He brought himself back into existence using his own awesomness (and a little help from the princess). Hiw many can say they pulled that one off.
"Pfft Death? I don't fear Death. I knock on Death's door then run like hell!"
Oh things probably won't end too well for Haru. Still as long as he gets a good fight out of it, he's find. Nice one by the way. XD7/7/2011 . Edited 7/7/2011 #2,028
|Silver Sun 17
@deus-rasengan2 here's a better version of that line
"Pfft, Death? I don't fear Death. I Ding-Dong Ditch Death when I'm bored. Hell, I did it last night."7/7/2011 #2,029
[his eye starts to twitch] You are NOT going to let Haru learn more of that bone-crushing technique... right? Oh dear, Chiyo will have field day with this. This was delicious, especially Ryoga's almost constant getting lost, you have to keep this guy on a leash XD A scary thought for you, Zelretch takes Roronoa Zoro, Zaraki Kenpachi&Yachiru and Ryoga and makes them a team.
@Silver Sun 17
Try Discworld's Death
"Death? I know the guy, a really nice chap, though a little slow on sarcasm and metaphors"7/7/2011 . Edited 7/7/2011 #2,030
dno... up to deus-r2 :D
that actually reminds me of a bleach/onepiece crackfic i read, zorro and sanji die and end up in soul society... and.. well... zorro has 3 swords. and yes he does run into kenpachi
edit: btw HK, are you going to just edit the picture of the clan on your dA or make a new entry for it?7/7/2011 . Edited 7/7/2011 #2,031
Rakan is either immune to Mystic Eyes of Death Perception or able to "awesome" himself back into existence after being "killed" by them.7/7/2011 #2,032
"What the hell's your problem kid?" Kenpachi Zaraki stared down at the black haired, red eyed teen before him, who was staring back at him in what could only be describe as pure adoration
"Hey Kenny!" Yachiru called out from atop the larger Shinigami's shoulder. "He looks just like I do when someone gives me candy!"
"That so huh?" Kenpachi scratched his chin. "So-
"WILL YOU PLEASE FIGHT ME!!!" Haru yelled in excitment, his gauntlets and grieves already equipped and glowing.
Kenpachi blinked his one eye... before slowly grinning, while unsheathing his sword. "Sure kid, just try not to die too quickly.
Shirou could only turn his head toward Zelretch, who was looking on at the upcoming blood bath in amusement. "I hate you so much.
Ryoga and Zoro stood off to the side, watching on. Ryoga a little put off that his opponent quickly changed his mind and went for the giant samurai pirate.
Rakan. "Your mystic eyes of death perception doesn't hold a candle to my mystic body of EPIC WIN!!!"7/7/2011 . Edited 7/7/2011 #2,033
Summary:Zoro and Sanji bust their way into the Court of Pure Souls. Hijinks ensue.7/7/2011 #2,034
[sighs] I guess it's inevitable, and I tried to limit my writing...
"Get back here you Perv!"
Keiko ran after Karin, guns blazing but despite being the physically weakest of the Sekirei descendants the red-haired prankster turned out to be an annoyingly good dodger.
"To get shot full of holes by you? NO THANK YOU"
Karin yelled back and ran down the corridor like her life depended on it.
Chiyo was busy studying for an exam when she heard running and shooting out in the corridor. She quickly approached the door to see what her siblings were up to and if any of them was hurt. She opened the door.
And then quickly moved her head barely avoiding a large rubber bullet from Keiko's shotgun, she was preparing to lecture her sister on safe use of firearms when she heard a sound of glass being broken. Her face went pale, and the two sisters suddenly stopped, some sort of animal instict telling them that if they try to move, they will die a horrible, horrible death.
Chiyo turned, a silent prayer in her eyes, wishing she was mistaken.
But no, down on the floor with a huge hole in it laid a small framed picture. On it Jack Rakan grinning like idiot and giving thumb up, next to the sketch a dedication "To Chiyo, Grow Some Boobs... And Strong. Jack Rakan". Chiyo looked at it for a moment, the amount of danger and hardships she and her siblings went through in the Mundus Magicus, and the happiness she felt when she received it... only slightly dulled by the annoyance at the man's perviness. She walked up to the wall, her black and white swords hanging safely on the wall. She took them down.
"Karin, Keiko, Onee-chan would like a word with you"
She said, her voice sweet, serene, loving and peaceful.
Karin was already in a dead run, Keiko following close behind
"Run, Run like Hell Keiko it's Tranquil FURY. We are SO Dead if she gets us"
Gilgamesh snorted with annoyance the honey-blond girl laid on the floor, her swords still in hands but she was securely wrapped up in Enkidu. In the corner of the room hugging each other were Keiko and Karin, they were trembling, their eyes on their older sister
"All... all my guns... and grenades... for nothing"
Keiko mumbled out
"Even... even the house's... guns didn't... put a scratch on her"
Equally terrified Karin stuttered out, both girls flinching at even smallest moves from their older sister.
"Are you calm now, Mongrel?"
Gilgamesh asked, his arms folded, the girl breathed in and out.
"Of course Uncle Gil"
He removed Enkidu from the girl. And put it back on as soon as she threw herself on the two sisters, swords in hands, brutal murder in eyes
Gilgamesh sighed, and he was just getting to the good part of preparing the roasted Beast.
"We'll wait until The Mongrel comes back"
"So that's what happened?"
Shirou asked, exasperation on his face
"Yes Father... I'm really sorry I... I don't know what overcame me I never felt anything like that before"
She kneeled seiza in front of her father, she was filling ashamed, to raise one's hands against one's sisters, it was unforgivable. But every time her memory returned to the picture she had to supress the murderous urges.
"So... can we go now?"
Karin asked tentatively
Shirou frowned looking at his daughters, while what Chiyo did was quite bad he couldn't help but sympathize with her... especially after that one time Karin somehow found a way to enter his UBW while it was not deployed and covered the place with pastel paintings... his soul still ached at the memory.
"Yes Father? I will accept any punishement for my misbehaviour"
"I heard you did some progress with your cooking"
The girl perked up, why would her father mention that right now
"Well... yes, I managed to better balance the vitamins and nutrition of many of my dishes"
Shirou smiled beatifically, her statement meant that the taste did not change.
"Very well then, your punishment will be keeping your sisters well-fed and their punishment will be helping you out with your cooking development. What is it Karin?"
He asked as his daughter kneeled before him, determination in her eyes
"Father, could you please trace a tanto for me? I would like to apologize to my sister with Seppuku"
She was serious, her eyes filled with determination
"What are you saying Karin-chan"
Chiyo said from behind her, passive, defeated Keiko already secure in her hands
"We can't have that, if you open your belly you won't be able to eat. Now then Let's GO"
The girl grabbed Karin's collar and started dragging her towards kitchen
"NOOOO, I can really commit Seppuku, please Father HAVE MERCY!!"
Karin weiled as her body was dragged away
Shirou sighed, he did a terrible thing, still... Kanshou and Bakuya... painted radioactive green and pastel pink, his eye twitched.7/8/2011 #2,035
...pastel...UBW.... what is this i dont even-
and yeah, all sekirei can roof-hop can't they... i wonder how it feels for the normals... to see karin and koyuki hopping around when they are (or were) probably the least physical out of all the children...7/8/2011 #2,036
Yeah and imagine that Shirou didn't knew of it until he used it... it was quite a shock for both him AND his opponent.
"Who... who turned my Reality Marble, the Representation of my very Soul into MODERN ART!?"
Actually I'm not sure about that, I remember one instance, I think during the Chiho rescue when Matsu was just holding onto... was it Musubi or Tsukiumi? But yeah majority probably can roof-hop.7/8/2011 #2,037
|Silver Sun 17
I started up a new thread, can i get opions from you guys on that.7/8/2011 #2,038
|Silver Sun 17
see omake thread for backround to this
"You haven't changed much, have you, Karasuba?" Shirou asked as his wife stood with the three-year old Reiko in her arms as she walked towards her husband.
"Whatever do you mean Minito-kun." She sang with a grin.
"That for one, outside of anything to do with Reiko you're the same woman who…"
"Well you shouldn't have told me what you did to Gilgamesh."7/8/2011 #2,039
They're truly great couple one doesn't even need end sentence since second can understand even without using these words.7/8/2011 . Edited 7/8/2011 #2,040
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