The Mechanics of In Flight
One of my reviewers mentioned the idea of starting a forum for those who want to debate various points of my story without clogging up the review section too much. I decided to go ahead and give it a try.
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Tyrant's Bane

Hill of Swords was quite honestly one of the best pieces of fanfiction i have read in a long time, it kept to the characters actual attitudes and beliefs, and had a bittersweet, yet satisfying ending. I however did have one problem with the ending, and that was that it never explained what happened to everyone back in the world Shirou came from. It was actually one of the most tragic things i could think of actually when i thought about it. It goes to great detail to explain how all of his comrades in the old world eventually end up leaving him when they realize that there is no dissuading him from his ideals or deathseeker status. Then he simply dissapears, and the story never tells us how they react to it. I would actually like a sidestory where they somehow learn about the circumstances of his disappearance, his subsequent adventures, how he found the happiness that Rin and his friends tried to give him, and finally news about his death and child.

2/1/2012 . Edited by Mu-Sensei, 1/11 #1
Raj8

@Tyrant's Bane I would also love to see an omake/continuation on hill of swords though one thing I personally disliked about the epilouge was Shirou getting a girl pregnant I mean the entire story Shirou refuse's girls and when he gives in it was offscreen if it had happened in the story I would have been okay with it but since it happened off screen I disliked it.

2/2/2012 #2
Tyrant's Bane

the pregnancy thing never really bothered me all that much, it kinda makes sense in context when you think about it, I mean just how long could even the most stubborn people resist when you have that many women after you. What really bothered me was the lack of information about Tohsaka Rin. From what i understand she probably tried very hard to get Shiro to live a happy life, similar to what Louise was trying to do, only to eventually give up when she realized that he was never going to stop seeking his own death.

I guess im just hoping for one more chapter where Louise or Rin (probably Rin considering that Zeltrich or whatever his name is considered on taking her as an apprentice in one of the routes) learn how to travel to the other worlds in order to find out what happened to him / inform shirou's old friends what happened to him. It would just honestly be kinda tragic and heartbreaking in its own way if he were to just disappear from all his old friends and never find out that in the end he did manage to find some peace and happiness before he died, just as they wanted. Hell it could even be a dream sequence where Shirou and saber say hello or something like that, but I think it would be awesome if Rin and the others were to find out what happened.

2/2/2012 #3
Syroc

"It would just honestly be kinda tragic and heartbreaking in its own way if he were to just disappear from all his old friends..."

It's mentioned in the story that he was either abandoned by his friends or they died. Even Rin, who we know had some insight into Shirou due to her connection to Archer, couldn't understand his distortion and his desire to find his Hill of Swords and eventually deserted him as well. That's part of the reason he's so harsh in the beginning: his faith in others has been hugely diminished. I'd guess it's a safe bet that anyone who knew him and wondered what happened to him would simply assume that he had finally found what he'd been looking for: his death in battle.

That said, what they'd find if they looked into it would pretty much be what they were expecting, though they might be a bit horrified at themselves for not sticking to him when they were confronted by all the people who he had come to regard as friends. A sequel in that vein would kinda be depressing, wouldn't it?

If you were going to do a sequel of sorts, methinks the best way to go about it would be in snippet-form of Shirou and Louise's later adventures together.

2/2/2012 #4
LegendaryGamer

I wonder how popular was the idea of ShirouxHenrietta when GB write scenes of those on some chapters.

2/2/2012 #5
Shioran Toushin

the twu pawring was HenriettaxShiroxTabitha, with a touch of cattleya (or Louise if her mother ever catch up to them)

2/2/2012 #6
LegendaryGamer

Shioran Toushin: So true that.

I remember how Cool it was when GB show UBW's appearance as this still sent shivers down my spine.

2/2/2012 #7
Beasts lair's Fraggle

----------------------- path of the kaleidoscope -------------------------

She blinked.

When the bizarre image in front of her eyes refused to disappear she rubbed them with her left fist once again, the other currently occupied with holding the prototype jeweled sword, before taking another look.

It wasn't helping.

When Tohsaka Rin had activated her mystic code she had been prepared for almost anything. Her incomplete version was unable to send her too far in the sea of parallel universes, but you never know how close a world made out of shrimps really lied in contrast with her own world.

But this bizarre sight was pushing it.

For in front of her was a statue, which had been carved to display a hero larger then life, a familiar set of twin swords clenched in his hands as he dragged them along, the blades too heavy to lift any further. a Third swords could be seen on the man's back, peeking over his shoulder as the image was one of a swordsman on his last breath--------

A swordsman who bore an uncanny resemblance to the boy she knew as Emiya Shirou.

her eyes spotted a small plaque, where' sir Emiya Shirou, The King of Swords on the Hills of Saxe-Gotha'was written in french, a language that Tohsaka Rin had mastered as expected of a top graduate of both Homubara Highschool and as a high class magus at the Clock tower. Said prodigy was now staring at the statue as a soft chuckle escaped from her mouth, which soon turned into full blown laughter which soon filled the empty couryard where the statue had been hidden.

" Making me all worry after disappearing, only for him to start playing hero the moment he arrives into another world?-------- "

if Shirou was present he would have seen the signs which led to the formation of the ' Tohsakaveryscary smile #1 ' .

He would also have started running at the sight of the girl cradling several gems between her fingers as the started to glow ominously.

" I'm going to----EEEP!"

Said angry magus diabolical plan was thwarted as a giant mole jumped out of the ground, lunging for her hands as its starry eyes shone with mirth at the sight of the beautiful gemstones. A moment later said giant mole was send flying as a reinforced leg of the magus in questing transferred its momentum onto the moles body, sending it flying across the yard once again.

Very unladylike, Tohsaka-san.

------------------------------

AN: this can only get better, right?

---

Fridge logic: If we assume that Henrietta really is the one who ' has someone to remember Shirou by' in the epilogue ( Magic mirror makes it really viable, assuming Henrietta gives Shirou the same mansion as Saito got in canon, making it almost certain that our beloved queen wears Shirou's deferences down until he succumbs to his carnal desires :P (as spoken by Matsu :P). Then we have a possible ' boy who has the blessings of a water spirit ' or a potential ' girl who must be hidden away from her fathers enemy until she is old enough to claim the throne' .

do I spot a possible Lancelot-expy and Arthuria-expy there?

2/20/2012 . Edited 2/20/2012 #8
Cirex Review

@Fraggle: This is good.

2/20/2012 #9
Calpeto9

I love it.

2/20/2012 #10
Sky Zephyrus

@Fraggle

THIS! IS! GOLD!

Please continue =)

2/20/2012 #11
deppilf

I agree with what the others said. I'd like for it to be continued but it works surprisingly well as a stand-alone piece which is odd since Rin hasn't met any of the cast. The mole doesn't count.

do I spot a possible Lancelot-expy and Arthuria-expy there?

There would be quite a few differences so I'm not sure if expy is the right word but superficial similarities make me want to see a full story based on that concept. Hm, if we went with the daughter then would Louise be Merlin or Ector?

2/21/2012 #12
Tyrant's Bane

nice, please continue this, it looks like very promising. canonicaly this would probably have to happen after shirous death, but..... It could just as easily work before as well, shirou would probably be terrified =D. Hope you continue this man, nice job.

2/21/2012 #13
Cataquack Warrior

Would certainly be interesting to see how Rin reacted to Shirou's legend in Halkeginia, especially since he's credited with the 'rediscovery' of human Servants as familiars.

Another idea would be to have post-Hill Louise end up being transported to Fuyuki City in Fate/Zero. With only hazy understanding of the precursor to Shirou's war, she is in for a wild ride. There are a lot of ways that such a story could go. For one, she might end up involved in the serial mess, or end up accidentally summoning Caster or another Servant, thus throwing her into the War. Regardless, once she sees the familiar blue-knight she's not going to stop in trying to help her find her happiness.

3/19/2012 #14
ghoohg

Could always have his kid summon him (as a heroic spirit).

3/19/2012 #15
Mu-Sensei

You could always have 'Servant Louise' murders Ryunosuke, helping Shirou, getting involved in the war, and later taking care of Shirou instead of Kiritsugu (though she would have to keep from using magic to be able to stay in this world). That would be a nice AU.

3/21/2012 #16
sagitarius

This story's actually been on the site for a while. I just decided to continue it here.

---X---

Double Zero I: An odd twist of Fate

"This is certainly unexpected," I mumbled to myself as seriously as I could, yet even I couldn't keep the sheer level of amusement in my voice as I continued to stare at the glowing portal in front of me. "I wonder if I should go?"

"It would certainly be a good idea," a voice answered me, and if there was anyone else around, I'm certain they would've jumped out of their skins at the disembodied voice, seeing as there was no one else with me in these woods. "You wouldn't want whoever's waiting on the other side to be called a failure, would you now?" the same voice asked back, bringing a reminiscent smile to my face.

"What of my alignment to the crown?" I argued back, "I still live, after all, so surely whoever is behind all this is from one of the other three countries." Inwardly, I knew that wasn't really a factor here, and I'm fairly certain my companion knew it too. Still, I thought it best to bring it up now rather than later. After all, no matter what the outcome was, I could always use one ofhisgifts to cut myself loose.

A quiet chuckle echoed out into the thick forest, accompanied by the clanking of steel on steel. Clearly, I wasn't the only one enjoying the novelty this event had brought about. "I thought you said we were going on a vacation. You know, to get away from all the wars you were so tired of," the disembodied voice pointed out to me, and I couldn't help my own laugh.

Calling what I was doing now a 'vacation' was both far and very close to the truth. Self imposed exile and excommunication would have fit infinitely better, but nonetheless, he was right. Besides, it wasn't like I would've willingly ignored my calling.Hetreasured the bond formed between us more than anything. Who was I to spit upon an opportunity to form something similar?

"That we are," I replied simply, taking a step closer towards the green gate. "I would suggest you not talk for a while though. After all, it wouldn't do to scare those around us so soon after our arrival."

Another chuckle followed shortly after that, "aye… partner."

My smile widened as I stepped into the void.

­---X---

I had expected many things when I had been called upon, and had prepared for everything accordingly while still in that inky blackness that would take me to my summoner. The long drop I experienced as I had reached the end of the portal was anticipated, my body already reinforced and positioned to minimize the damage received to a negligible level.

The smokescreen that was provided for me via the resulting explosion of the summoning spell had already been accounted as an inevitability, my senses already brought to their sharpest point to compensate for the lack of vision the moment I landed; crouching low onto the ground with a hand on the hilt of a sword on my hip.

Then the murmurings came. This too, I had expected. The extreme familiarity of the voices on the other hand, was something that confused me. It was as though I was experiencing an extreme case of déjà vu, yet with something fundamentally wrong in the mix. All of a sudden, I felt an ominous chill run down my spine, but it wasn't until the smoke around me had cleared that I had finally found out why. More specifically, it was when I had first cast my eyes upon my soon-to-be master.

It was a young girl –though the age itself was no surprise– with long, flowing, strawberry-blonde, almost pink hair, the same shade as my own, and a petite frame. Her amber eyes stared into my own, even beyond the hood I started to favour since the beginning of my 'vacation'. We continued to stay that way, completely ignoring the murmuring crowd behind her.

In that moment, when I felt prana so much like my own, yet just as different coursing through me, I immediately knew three things: first, this girl was my summoner. Second, the situation I was in was, in fact, not a dream. Third, the Root had finally decided to dub me as its favourite chew toy, and as such, I had to respond to it in the best way I could: continuously curse it in hopes that I annoy it enough to make it take human form in front of me so as to chastise my actions, giving me the opportunity to maim it in the most painful way possible.

Outwardly though, I remain silent, hoping against hope that things did not turn out as I feared... then a redhead I knew all too well stepped away from the other students and delivered a line I'd heard so long ago. "Hah! This makes everything you said worth it!" she taunted my soon-to-be master, crossing her arms under her ample chest, "I expected a lot of things, but I never would have thought that you'd summon some raggedy plebeian."

I drowned out everything after that; my last hopes that my assumptions were wrong crushed under the all too mighty palms of reality. Once more, I cursed the thrice be damned Root, but only in my mind. Years of discipline as one of the top officers in her highness' army had taught me that making yourself sound as though you were angry at plant life generally didn't make a good first impression.

When the argument between what I already knew to be students had reached the point where the teacher –just as bald as I remembered him– had to step in, I'd already made my decision. Having already been on the other side of the wand in this exact same situation, there was only one logical answer I could come up with: do whathedid. And since there were no language barriers this time around, I was fairly confident that I'd have infinitely more success thanhim.

With the confidence achieved only by one who truly knew exactly what they were doing, I stood to my full height, bringing me to just a few inches taller than the buxom student from earlier. I felt all eyes turn towards me at the sudden movement, but I ignored them all in favour of the girl I approached; the one who brought me here.

It was almost comical, in a way, how she seemed to suddenly retract at my now more intimidating presence. I knew the feeling well. While I was not as tall ashim, the large travelling cloak I wore probably made me look just as, if not more daunting thanhehad when we first met. Still, I didn't let that bother me. She would find out everything once she sleeps tonight, and if not then I would just have to spell it out for her later.

For now, I had more important thing to do: continue what I felt to be the tradition for anyone summoned by a mage. With a wide sweeping motion, the hand still gripping the falchion on my waist unsheathed the blade. This of course, had the side effect of greatly frightening my summoner. In hindsight, I suppose suddenly having two and a half feet of sharp steel drawn in front of you would make anyone nervous, but being far too used to having blades around you for so long tended to dull such fears.

Still, there was no need to prolong this any further, and with that thought in mind, I flipped the sword upside-down into a reversed grip, before I got back down onto my knees, plunging the sword down into the ground in front of me. My eyes met my soon-to-be master's once more and, with all the confidence I had in me, I spoke for the first time since my arrival: "Upon your summoning, I have come forth. I ask of you, are you my master?"

For a moment, the girl looked stunned, though I already knew she would be, just as I knew that the recovery would be quick. "Yes, I am your master, famili-"

"Servant."

I couldn't help it. It was a correction I'd made so many times in the past that I simply couldn't help but to do so again, and from the looks of it, my master was far from amused. That was fine. I was the same as well, so there was really nothing I could do but explain.

"A summoned human, unlike an animal, is referred to as a servant. Not familiar," I clarified tersely, cutting of whatever outburst I was certain would've come out. Sadly, I was already quite certain just how irritated my summoner would be.The increase in the volume of laughter from the peanut gallery didn't really help in that regard.

Sure enough, the young mage was still fuming, and looked about ready to cast a spell. I consider myself rather fortunate that the teacher decided to interfere right there. It wouldn't have done for me to suddenly counter my summoner's explosions with one of my own, after all.

"Miss Valliere, I believe it's about time you finished with the ritual. This has been dragged on long enough. Whatever issues you have with your familiar-"

"Servant." I rectified once more, making sure to show just how annoyed I was at the improper terminology. Luckily, being of a more disciplined mindset, the professor took to it much easier than the student had.

"-Servant... I am certain can be dealt with after the ritual is over," he ordered leaving no room for arguments.

The little Valliere, still fuming, nonetheless sighed in compliance. "Consider yourself lucky. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for someone like you." If only she knew how truly unique this situation was for me, then maybe she would have understood the smirk of amusement that overtook my face rather than it simply making her scowl deeper.

Perhaps that was also the reason that, when she tapped my forehead with her wand, it was done a lot harder than one normally would do so. "My name is Louise Francoise Lu Blanc de La Valliere. Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers; grant your blessing upon this humble being and mark her as my familiar!"

And after the chant came the kiss. In that brief moment when our lips met, I imagined how much every narcissist in the world would have killed to have done what just happened to me. Then again, I hated every single one of them, so I took this as a triumph for me. Hypocritic perhaps, but that was just one of the odd few vices I'd picked up over the years.

Once we parted, I readied myself for what I knew was coming next. The searing pain that penetrated my left hand did not do to disappoint me. Gritting my teeth, I let out a slight hiss of pain, bringing the burning appendage up for my eyes to see. The familiar markings that signified my class; one which I was very familiar with began forming there, a perfect replica to the markhepossessed.

When it was all over, I finally stood back up and began planning my next course of action.

---X---

4/5/2012 . Edited 4/5/2012 #17
solopy567

Whoa, Wall of Text man.

Separate them into individual lines or paragraphs.

4/5/2012 #18
JamJackEvo

He must've copy-pasted the thing. It ruins formatting.

4/5/2012 #19
sagitarius

@JJE

Thanks for understanding. Anyway, fixed it.

4/5/2012 #20
Scientific Savior Of Earth

Please continue this. Money will be given

4/9/2012 #21
Lycodrake

@sagitarius: Just got to reading this, and think the idea has quite a bit of potential, though I'm not quite sure how much you could really do with it...feels like it would go rather quickly or something...

4/12/2012 #22
lhklan The Unpronounceable

A continuation, of sort, had been put up on FFnet. Its name is "The Prince of Swords", detailing Shirou and Henrietta son, Kiritsugu Emiya, adventure.

It got a great start. You can read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8028316/1/The_Prince_of_Swords

4/15/2012 #23
Lycodrake

@lhklan: Huh...people really aren't all that original in naming one of Shirou's kids...and the story feels a bit bland, at least from the first chapter...

4/17/2012 #24
JamJackEvo

@Lyco

There are plenty of instances wherein authors tend to do the unthinkable and absurd. Take J. K. Rowling, for example, and the Epilogue of Harry Potter. Seriously... Harry's two children named after their grandparents and Harry's godfather? There was an outcry from that, no doubt, but at least it's not as bad as what Stephenie Meyer had done when she decided on a name for Bella and Edward's daughter in Breaking Dawn: Renesmee. Named after a clash of the child's maternal grandmother, Renee, and her adoptive paternal grandmother, Esmee. I only learned that through browsing the Net, and afterwards I was making the "Are You Serious?" face followed by "Are You F*cking Kidding Me?" No amount of facepalming could even begin to describe what I felt.

Twilight was already bad as it was; that tidbit of information just made it look worse.

So this child of Henrietta and Shirou being named after the father's father should be no stranger to other people being named after their grandparents. As it stands, he could've been named a whole lot worse.

4/17/2012 #25
lhklan The Unpronounceable

@JamJackEvo

You forgot about Harry's third child. Seriously, Albus Severus?

4/17/2012 #26
JamJackEvo

@Ihklan

Iiii-yup-puh. If I could control the Second Magic like Zelretch, I would gather my dimensional counterparts and perform this:

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/184/531/1318306183002.jpg

4/17/2012 #27
NAJ P. Jackson

A continuation, of sort, had been put up on FFnet. Its name is "The Prince of Swords", detailing Shirou and Henrietta son, Kiritsugu Emiya, adventure.

It got a great start. You can read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8028316/1/The_Prince_of_Swords

I'm not too sure about this fic. For one thing it feels as though the OC character is just a cheap imitation of Shirou. It would have been better if the author gave him a unique and original magecraft that somehow resembled tracing but instead chose to use the same magic as tracing and reinforcement. Worst is that he gave him Kanshou and Bakuya as well :/ He better not give him a reality marble, especially not Unlimited Blade Works.

At best I just considered this an omake side story and not an continuation of HoS.

Interesting bit in the last scene though, looks like he was summoned in an alternate timeline where Saito is Louise's servant.

And the bit about his name, well naming him Kiritsugu Emiya is fine. At least it's that and not Shirietta Henriou or what ever :P

4/17/2012 . Edited 4/17/2012 #28
Shioran Toushin

he could hijack UBW and the tracings and NP only if only his Origin/technique was based upon reflections/tributes/honoring x person/mimicry.

Unbounded Reflections: Honoring My Father's Soul

basically an UBW by other name... OTOH he needs to be broken/distorted/awakened to be even able to glimpse a fragment of his alien world egg.

4/17/2012 #29
Beasts lair's Fraggle

Reality marbled do not work that way. A reality marble is something only 6 humans possessed. People should stop copy-pasting it on ever child they can come up with. You cant get a reality marble by just being broken, your entire existence needs to be made for the single goal of materializing it, like Shirou's body after Avalon started dicking around with his origin and element.

Any child between Henrieta and Shirou already has the royal family's knowledge of magic and the blessing of the spirit of the lake. What more does the child need?

Besides his father of course, but Shirou's dead _

4/17/2012 . Edited 4/17/2012 #30
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