The Mechanics of In Flight
One of my reviewers mentioned the idea of starting a forum for those who want to debate various points of my story without clogging up the review section too much. I decided to go ahead and give it a try.
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On Soaring Wings

Ranmaru sat alone in his room. He was ready to try the ritual his mother, and grandmother had shown him. At eleven years old he was ready to begin his serious training as a magus. He was learning how to concentrate prana into objects to create a destructive magic missile of great power... Grandma had prefered Jewels, but mom insisted he use bullets instead.

So here he was in the middle of the bedroom. The ritual all layed out. Slowly he held his chosen object... an entire box of custom made Sharps .50-90 bullets. He held the box close, and concentrated pouring the prana in his body into each bullet his mind acting as a conduit channeling his prana evenly throughout the twenty small chunks of lead held in each metalic cartridge.

"Here goes... Yes yes... I'm doing it! Mommy come quick. I'm real-"


That tiny break in concentration was enough to cause a lapse in the channeling resulting in a tiny bit of prana accidenly setting off the gunpowder in one cartridge. In panic Ranmaru lost further concentration causing a chain reaction that quickly set off the other 19 bullets.

Keiko quickly hurried to her son's room. "You alright?" She asked.

Luckilly when the first bullet went off it missed Ranmaru's head in a pani he threw his head back causing the other .50-90 bullets to miss him. Without the added pressure of gun barrel the bullets did little more than cause large cracks in the ceiling.

Ranmaru said nothing he just slowly curled up into a ball. Eyes shut, lips quivering.

Keiko just smiled a relived smile and put a comforting hand on his back. "There there... What matters is you're unharmed." She sat down and huged him. "To tell the truth, that used to happen to me a lot too."

7/14/2012 . Edited 7/14/2012 #4,141
lhklan The Unpronounceable


Don't give up. Who knows how many time my idea got shot down, and I'm still here, aren't I?

7/14/2012 #4,142

daw, that is so cute and yet hilarious at the same time.

see, that's how you do it. Work small, then get bigger

7/14/2012 #4,143


See, this is how you make it in this thread. Keep shooting into the dark until you get that sound of a guy screaming in pain. Then you know that you've got the right direction.

... And that wasn't a very good analogy was it?

7/14/2012 #4,144
... Does anyone notice that it's a lot easier to write stories about characters you yourself created? Like how I'm getting blanks for Shinra... But I can't stop thinking of ideas for Alicia... And on that note has anyone thought of a crossover with Pretty cure... Sure I know that we haven't finished with the 2nd gen but people are writing about 3rd gen... So I'm going to guess that until we get ideas we just have to keep making random stories and submitting them...
7/14/2012 #4,145
lhklan The Unpronounceable


Nice start.


Duh, of course it is.

7/14/2012 #4,146
Okay... Now that I have your attention... Does anyone have ideas for Takumi and Haruna from battle moon wars or anyone from Yuru yuri or Smile precure
7/14/2012 #4,147


Pretty solid grasp on Ranmaru's characterization. Keep up the good work!

7/14/2012 #4,148


yes, I noticed that, though I have an easier time with characters that have barely been fleshed out besides my own

For example, I still use Arika from time to time and I am using and plan to continue to use SHINRA as needed.

though I wish you would avoid the 'magical girl' genre as frankly I would think the clan would take one look at the magical girl thing and think of either the kaleidosticks (which must be hunted without mercy for the good of the world), Nanoha (beam spammers, great, I'll get the redevelopers again. They're on speed dial number 5 right?), or Madoka (death to the Kyuubi!!!) I think it's kinda full there. with the whole magical girl thing.

Besides someoen needs to pick up Takeshi again as Throwaaway has up and vanished off the face of the forum

7/14/2012 . Edited 7/14/2012 #4,149
Cirex Review


I know what you mean. Except I didn't create the twins. They predated my entrance to the Clan by months. And at the time I adopted them, outside of Jun, they had the least screen time out of any of the kids. They were background characters whose only purpose was to serve as a Greek Chorus.

But lucky for me they were blank slates, so I was able to create their personality's to my specifications without a whole lot of restrictions to hold me back. And hopefully I made characters that were interesting, and not boring, or Mary Sues.

Personally, the greatest achievement is having your characters be referenced in snipits that the other Clan writers make.

7/14/2012 #4,150
Quite frankly... The precure series actually seems to work similarly to Madokaverse style magics (use of emption or emotional state) that it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that it is a variation... Or a variation of Nanohaverse magic... Plus I'm a magical girl fan... Yuru Yuri is okay though?
7/14/2012 #4,151
Sorry bout this double post but please ignore the precure madoka comparison...
7/14/2012 #4,152

@Cirex (or the guy who is doing Aleksii and Aliisa)

Those 'Invaders" you have.

Have you hammered out what they are. Or more specifically the nature of the Sekirei.

If I remember correctly (NON-Canon), the Sekirei that ended up with the invaders took on their shape.

So the Sekirei that ended up with the Alien cat-people became cat people as well to breed into the population.

@lhklan and SilverSun

How long of a natural lifespan are you going to give the Wizards.

Dumbledore (born 1881) was extremely fit at his age of 115 except for the curse on his hand and was voluntarily killed by Snape.

Aunt Muriel of the Weasely's (born 1890) is still going strong.

So s Madame Marchbanks, Dumbledore's examiner born 1870 at the earliest.

Magi h

7/15/2012 #4,153
Due to keyboard troubles, I'm forced to postpone writing any stories until such a time when I can obtain a new one, or fix my current one. At this point, I'm only capable of posting via phone.
7/15/2012 #4,154
Cirex Review


Actually I have thought out everything out concerning the nameless Invaders. Culture, military strength, foreign policy, and their Sekirei. The Invaders themselves are bipedal humanoids who look like humans, (hair, two eyes, two ears, ten fingers and ten toes) yet give off this alien aura, as if their's something not quite right about them. The Sekirei who serve them look much the same, except they have their sekirei powers.

7/15/2012 #4,155

@Archer: That sucks.

@Cirex: Yes, having a character you made appear in someone's else story is always interesting...

@OSW: That was a good start. Build up on that.

@MGM: Well, there's still underdeveloped 1st gens too. And there's nothing wrong in two people developing the same character as long as they agree.

7/15/2012 #4,156

@maximorph1: Wait...what about Madoka has "Kyuubi" involved? o.O

@OSW: I agree with Mu here. Keep trying.

@MZX: ...I honestly still don't understand what you're wanting to do...

7/15/2012 . Edited 7/15/2012 #4,157


not to worry. that's definately a typo on maxi's part.

7/15/2012 #4,158

Hey I have a quick question! Can people still add new clan members? I have a idea for one after reading most of the Emiya Clan stories.

7/15/2012 #4,159
lhklan The Unpronounceable

While you can, there are just too many right now. So it would be better if you pick up an ununsed character and start from there.

Ohn, and welcome. Please leave your sanity at the door and have a nice stay

7/15/2012 #4,160

I see, do you have a list of characters not in use right now? Don't worry I already lost my sanity, so bring it on!

7/15/2012 #4,161


Hm, I think someone called dibs on Riko and MZX is working on Shinra if ever that takes off so that leaves...

Kaien though he is technically developing in the background with Lala and her siblings..., Fuuko, Aoshi, Ivone (this mine though and I am working on it XP) and Ichigo but I think Raug'moss if working with her...wherever he is. Souhiro sort of stalled as well but I think someone is writing him in Mega Man. Not sure where that went but that's about it.

7/15/2012 #4,162
lhklan The Unpronounceable

I was the one writing the Souhiro cross. But then Mu said that he wanted to bring him in the Franken Fran verse, so I'm temporary stopping it for now.

7/15/2012 #4,163

@shadowzerover5: Fuuko is being used alongside Aoshi, IIRC, though.

And Souhiro is definitely, according to Neogoki, his creator, going to be dealing with the Madaraki sisters.

@lhklan: I think you mean Neogoki...unless he and Mu decided to collaborate on the idea.

7/15/2012 . Edited 7/15/2012 #4,164
I tried writing for Riko, but I couldn't get her personality down properly. Also, even if the new guy already lost his sanity, we still have to give him the regular welcome. It's become sort of a tradition really.
7/15/2012 #4,165

It looks like everyone is being used already...that ok though. I was going to make a character that is from a AU. (Kinda like how Touma is from a AU.) I think you guys would be surprise by him. I'll give you guys a hint, he is not half-sekirei or a normal human. I'll post him around thursday or friday. (I am a very busy person. Thus, I don't have a lot of time to write.)

P.S. Thanks for the regular welcome. You know how to make a guy feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

7/15/2012 #4,166
@ Mu and Lyco. I myself believe that if I write about a character that someone else is developing... I feel that I'm undermining their work... Vivio and Madoka don't count because my story isn't about them and only 1 of them gets character development (Vivio) while the other is basically a cameo with some exposition (Madoka). For what I'm trying to do... Hell if I know I'm just writing more to see reactions and try and find a story that I can write to contribute to the clan... Since last time I had an idea that would have worked (while I was writing it) I wasn't in the clan and I had to ret-con it to keep everyone here happy. So in short I'm just trying to overcome writers block =_=
7/15/2012 #4,167

Unless Throwaaway returns, Takeshi is up for grabs

what anyone can do with him is beyond me, but I'm sure there's some writer who can work with him.

7/15/2012 #4,168
Obiki Doragon

Just because Throwaaway glanced over them, doesn't mean there still some of the Host Club's adventures to use.

7/15/2012 #4,169

Has anybody done a Sora No Otoshimono crossover yet?

7/15/2012 #4,170
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