The Mechanics of In Flight
One of my reviewers mentioned the idea of starting a forum for those who want to debate various points of my story without clogging up the review section too much. I decided to go ahead and give it a try.
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gabriel blessing

Well, I hoped to get this up last night, but then good news in the work situation occured, and in my victory celebration afterwards I was beset upon by severe intoxication.

And thus, still cringing from the hangover god sent to punish me for being happy, I now post 30 for all to see.

Go ahead and start making comments, I need to go sleep until the room stops spinning. Catchya all in a bit

5/25/2012 #1
lhklan The Unpronounceable

Like I said in the other thread:

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, First BTW.

5/25/2012 #2
Servius Regis


Curse you by seconds!

5/25/2012 #3
lhklan The Unpronounceable

MWAHAHAHA!!! Using multiple tabs is the key!

5/25/2012 #4


Really, I'm most surprised that the hospital didn't turn into a bloodbath, but it's always nice when the protagonist's perfectly logical plan actually works.

Also, mandatory:

5/25/2012 #5
Servius Regis

@Chapter 30

"The demons will eat him alive" eh?

Ah the mental images that that invokes are so...pleasing.


5/25/2012 #6

Heheheheheheh. Bleeding eyes.

5/25/2012 #7
gabriel blessing

Yeah, I didn't want to mention it in the chapter, but I first heard about Lupus through House, back when I watched it. Then, when I was googling 'Incurable Diseases' guess what just happened to come up? After that, it just made sense. There are so many symptoms for lupus that just anything Chiho had trouble with could go back to it. It happens nine times more often in women, especially of non-european descent. It also takes year to progress to dangerous levels, which also fits in.

5/25/2012 #8
Third Fang

heheh. I have a tshirt with house's face on it and next to him it says "its lupis"

5/25/2012 #9
NAJ P. Jackson

I'd like to point out something about Shirou's comment of not being sick in his entire life. I think I remember him being sick at least once in the Visual Novel. It was the reason Sakura started coming to his house to cook for him and continued to do so after he recovered.

I little sad that there was no fight scene and the chapter didn't continue with Shirou healing Chiho :(

5/25/2012 . Edited 5/25/2012 #10
Third Fang


no. sakura came over because he hurt his shoulder and he had to temporarily quit the archery team

5/25/2012 #11

Assuming the sentries were Higa's, he is now down to 9 Sekirei from his original 15 (also assuming the Sekirei count in chapter 18 also included the Sekirei who went down in chapter 14). There's 40% of his Sekirei gone before the third match. He stands to lose another 3 Sekirei if the third match still happens. Since he won't have any of the Jinki, he'll have to participate in the fourth match if that goes through. He's looking really screwed right now. This makes me wonder if Mikogami might replace Higa as an antagonist.

5/25/2012 #12
NAJ P. Jackson

I'm a little hazy on the details but I could have sworn it was because of sickness *shrug*

5/25/2012 #13
NAJ P. Jackson

Is Minaka only choosing Ashikabis that have no jinkis to participate in matches? Minaka obviously knew Matsu has one and would assume that Shirou owns it.

EDIT: Ooops, double post.

5/25/2012 . Edited 5/25/2012 #14

In Sekirei canon, it's either stated or heavily implied that Minaka used the first match to screw over Seo and that he used the third match to screw over Higa and Minato by sending them against the Disciplinary Squad. Higa and Minato both had a Jinki by that point, so Minaka probably didn't care, especially if it meant getting some entertainment.

5/25/2012 #15

For me, Uzume's banter with Shirou made the chapter. Also, I loved the bit about the bleeding eyes.

5/25/2012 #16

Any reason why Shirou didn't Norito Kazehana and akitsu to stack the deck?

Also, I agree with some reviewers, Shirou seemed to waste a lot of time chatting with chiho, and he couldn't spare 30 seconds to deal with kochou? wasn't he pragmatic?

Also, wonder what was Matsu "task" she had something to do, right?

5/25/2012 #17


or not?

5/25/2012 . Edited 5/25/2012 #18
NAJ P. Jackson

Yeah they wasted time talking but couldn't find enough time for Shirou to terminate the brain Sekerei (What was her name again?)

He wasted his chance to cripple Higa even further by taking out the brain of the operation. It was a poor error that might very well come back to bite him in the a$$.

5/25/2012 . Edited 5/25/2012 #19

no.22 Kochou will be traumatized for life, a dose of Shirou's GAR in Combat-mode Asuhra Level-up

That leaves scars

so next up is a breather so Shirou's flock can meet Chiho? Or will rin find him right now as he has found hope for true victory

5/25/2012 #20

@Third Fang

Actually, to my knowledge Shiro didn't temporarily quit the club due to his injury. He never went back because of the scarring.


Besides that, I can't wait for the scene when Miya next uses the bleeding eyes on Uzume and what her reaction will be when Uzume just smiles.

Who wants to bet that the members of Shiro's flock who weren't there that night will think that Uzume is crazy until they learn of the circumstances behind the smile. Even then, they might still think Uzume is crazy.

(Edit:) Alright, to clarify based on my knowledge granted to me by the anime: Shiro left the archery club due to an injury that he obtained in an accident while at work. He was stacking boxes when someone's poor stacking (can't remember if it's Shiro's or another employee's fault) caused a pile of boxes to fall on Shiro. This led to his shoulder injury where he received cuts on the back of his shoulder. Now, in Japanese archery male archers are supposed to shoot with their shooting arms shoulder exposed (the one they pull the bow's string with). Any scars exposed on the shoulder is a sign of carelessness on the shooter's part and is considered dishonorable. It is due to the scarring being there that Shiro believed that he had to quit the club so that he wouldn't disgrace the club even though several members of it don't care since he is such a good shot even after recovering from the injury.

5/25/2012 . Edited 5/25/2012 #21
NAJ P. Jackson


Well gabe did say that Rin and Saber will make an appearance during the climax of the story so she won't be appearing yet.

5/25/2012 #22
Third Fang

i think he meant the second to last arc of the story, penultimate and all.

edit: oh, and as for a FFD update, I think I should have the next chap done within the next week.

5/25/2012 . Edited 5/25/2012 #23

There's something else that's been bothering me for some inexplicable reason.

Will Shirou ever be able to go to the appointments Matsu had to reschedule?

5/25/2012 #24
Soup Fish

Shirou should have socked #22 in the face, grabbed her and ran. Rescue Chiho and deprive the enemy of his greatest pawn, have her as a bargaining chip as well.

5/25/2012 #25

GB and 3th Fang, you two just made my (upcoming) weeks, despite the terrible presence of finals!

5/25/2012 #26

@Grimgor Ironhide

I thought that too but considered it was tempting fate too much and decide it was simply better to deal with her, not necessarily lvl 5 but reasonable if that.

5/25/2012 #27

It seems awfully convenient that #22 was right there in front of Shirou and Uzume... is Higa really stupid enough to let one of his best assets (one of the few Brain types left) running around without supervision? (If the answer is yes, then I can only facepalm and hope Shirou's flock fight someone that's actually competent on the Sekirei side soon... maybe Karasuba?)

The interaction between Shirou and Uzume, and between Uzume and Chiho was good. Seems kinda out of place though in the middle of a "covert extraction" where anything can jump in and make your day harder.

There better be some sort of explanation/complication for Shirou's newfound ability to hypnotize people next chapter... going on about how he sucks at it then pulling it off without any serious issues? That seems convenient...

Apart from the Chiho bits, this chapter was kind of bland IMO. Still, it sets up important scenes later and that's good. I don't have any problems with the illness used here, so that's another plus.

Well, I'm done with this review now. Good luck in your writings GB.

5/25/2012 #28

well, Remember that in canon, Matsu remarks that the more Sekirei one ashikabi has, more Sekirei he will attract, that each winged sekirei would increase an Ashakibi "power"... Add to that that Sekirei are somewhat telepatic (Kusano appeared in Shirou's dreams)... So My bet is that Shirou got some side effects of being an ashakibi that he hasn't noticed ;-)

5/25/2012 #29

And remember how GB said that the whole thing about how "More Sekirei = More powerful Ashikabi" was going to come into play soon?


5/25/2012 #30
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