The Mechanics of In Flight
One of my reviewers mentioned the idea of starting a forum for those who want to debate various points of my story without clogging up the review section too much. I decided to go ahead and give it a try.
New Follow Forum Follow Topic
« Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 .. Last Next »
Servius Regis


It's not like that's not understandable. It's just that it's wearing thin. There's just been a bit too much of it recently (others have said that there has been too much of it for some time now). You can notch some Chekov's guns, you can give the characters needed information, you can put some breathers in the story. All of those are necessary. But there comes a point where it's no longer necessary nor tolerable and you have to move back onto more plot critical elements, more development, more story.

6/18/2012 #61
Obiki Doragon

Thamls SR for saying it polietly unlike some people. and befpre anything else. not listening don't care.

6/18/2012 #62
NAJ P. Jackson

Hey you're the one calling us spoiled kids and now we're the ones being impolite? Well whatever :/

6/18/2012 . Edited 6/18/2012 #63

From a narrative perspective, it's necessary to have a "winding down" period after a period of high tension. Otherwise, the audience gets worn out. This is why stuff like Rin going out in a date with Shirou and Saber right between Bloodfort Andromeda (I think) and Caster holding Taiga hostage and kidnapping Saber works and actually facilitates the story. The date allows the readers to process the Bloodfort scene, provides space for character development and calms the reader down before the next action sequence.

Now, the thing with In Flight is that it only updates every two weeks at most, so the reader doesn't feel the tension they normally would. Also, the most recent moment moment of high tension is probably chapters 24 to 26, with 27 and 28 winding down. The problem is that chapters 29 to 31 didn't bring the tension up to the level of an action sequence, so it feels like nothing's really happening.

6/18/2012 #64

I'm actually glad these info dumps exist. I don't have any experiance with Nasu-verse stuff outside of the fanfics I've read and so these typse of explinations have helped me to atleast be able to fallow what is going on. Plus I find it really annoying when large portions of the plot are simply skipped over. Athors that just skip things and put in inserts like (He explained what an Apostle Ansestor is) make me feel as if the story is hallow. And if I myself don't know what it is the author skipped, I end up annoyed as I have to go out and research it. That isn't something I want to do in the middle of a good story.

Keep up the Good work GB, but don't forget that we love your action seens too!

6/18/2012 #65

In terms of the info dumps, Gabe has a tendency too... misrepresent things in that regard. Nasu lore is rather complicated conceptual stuff so the details aren't all that big of a bother (he had Fragrach represented as an equal counter rather than a cancel for example), but he does continually mess up Shirou himself. The character that takes Shirou's place is entertaining so it doesn't bother me as much as some people.

No my complaint is that IF tends to stretch the cooldown period out too much. It's less Rin and Shirou going out after Bloodfort and more HEAVEN'S FEEL COOKING EXTRAVAGANZA. We're in the 3rd act, it's time to get things moving.

Except that bit I've heard about Gabe planning a Magi invasion of Tokyo. I don't know if that's true or not but I hope not, that'd be REALLY dumb and something mages in the Nasuverse would never ever do.

6/18/2012 #66
Servius Regis


The whole 'this Shirou isn't the Shirou we played in the games' thing is something that has really gotten old. Sure, if he was this way during the HGW or about a year or two afterwards, it would be OOC, but this is a reasonable time period for people to change. People can grow in all sorts of ways, change is unpredictable. You don't necessarily get the same person five years later that you had at the beginning. This is a fanfic. Some things were bound to be different than what was expected. Is this the most likely course? No. Is this a reasonable course with enough of the base material to be called plausible? Yes.

Also, it's not an invasion. He said that some magi would be messing with it for their own aims. It will most likely be discreet. That, at least, I find both probable and interesting.

6/18/2012 #67

I can't agree with IF Shirou being all that believable. This is only a couple years after UBW Good and he's had, so far as we are told, one (admittedly horrible) thing go wrong for him. Now he's all PATH OF THE ASURA MIND OF STEEL FOREVER which I find hard to swallow. In Hill of Swords we had years and years between Fate and what we've got now (though the change was also more drastic and Gabe knew less about Nasu at the time so whatever).

This complain would probably stop surfacing if Gabe didn't always start things In Media Res and rely on off screen character development that isn't explained til later. But as I said this was never my main complaint.

As for the magi, alright that makes a bit more sense, someone on BL made it seem like Clock Tower was marching in an army to the most densely populated city in the world which a major corporation has turned into their nigh-universally observed playground. Which would be the least Nasuverse Magi Behavior ever. If it's just a few magi then that is quite different and I'm not going to complain about that!

6/18/2012 #68
Servius Regis


I believe that the timeline for this is about five years after FSN. I find that easier to understand. He has enough of his old personality for me to mark it off as passable.

For HOS, he had a lot of offscreen character development, which I didn't mind so much, since it was implied to be in some pretty drastic and traumatizing situations. The dream cycle also helped explain things.

I don't mind when people say that this isn't a likely scenario and that there's some author projection happening here. What I take issue with is people saying SHIROU'S A NAIVE IDIOT HERO WITH A HEART OF GOLD IN ALL CONTINUUMS FOREVAAAAAAAAAH!!! In FSN, he's only truly discovering what his ideal means. At the end of the routes, he still has barely matured, only gained new experiences, rather than the understanding needed to take from them. He has to grow up at some point. His ideal, like him, will mature.

6/18/2012 #69

The realization that Kiritsugu's ideal, while beautiful, is impossible to accomplish is one of the major points of character development for Shirou in Unlimited Blade Works. The Sekirei Plan just put him in a situation where he knew there was a good chance that saving everyone just would not work. He was happy to just follow the Sekirei plan as long as MBI had everything under control, but he also knew that he might be forced to step him in case things got out of hand and that sacrifices might be necessary. With the Jinki, that's no longer an issue.

6/18/2012 #70

That it's impossible is a major point of UBW but there's a difference between realizing that and deciding to follow Kiritsugu/Archer's methods.

But yes this is theoretically a non-issue now.

6/18/2012 #71
Soup Fish

Also Gabe, I have to ask, because Shirou has had Avalon inside him his entire life, now that its out of him wont he fall badly ill, considering that Avalon has been pulling the weight that his Imuune system should have been pulling up to this point? His immune system would be very under developed because he has always had Avalon to fight off disease so his body never had the opportunity to do so itself.

Within the next few days or so wouldn't he contract something simple and be crippled by it? Kind of like in War of the Worlds.

6/18/2012 #72

There are several ways to avoid that, one is to say that Avalon doesn't do anything directly instead it enhances the body so it can do it instead.

6/18/2012 . Edited 6/18/2012 #73

Grimgor Ironhide: It would be amusing if Shirou get sick at that point with the common cold because his flock would overreact about it and you can bet that Uzume would try get them nurse uniforms and sit back and watch her source of enternment with popcorn.

By the way in case someone felt offended at what i said, i do not think that being sick is very amusing in real life ever.

6/18/2012 . Edited 6/18/2012 #74
Amoral Philosopher

I have to admit, I am a little confused as to why Homura was acting so angry and irrational towards Shirou. I understand that he keeps blasting Homura's perception of reality to pieces over and over, but Homura's attitude just seems a bit too extreme to only be because of that. The only half@ss explanation I can think of, that also happens to be slightly amusing, is that Homura's gender-bending feminisation has progressed to the point that he is PMSing, lol.

6/18/2012 #75
Satire Swift

I think it had to do with how Shirou's going through so much trouble to use magic to fix Chiho, but he' not doing anything to help with Homura's gender bending problem. He doesn't really know that Shirou has no magic for that sort of thing, or that he would have already helped him if he did.

6/18/2012 #76


That... actually makes sense.

6/18/2012 #77

Also keep in mind that it has been far less time for Homura than for us so not only he is changing gender but also having his view of the world fundamentally and radically altered, and it doesn't seem to stop.

Personally I am surprised he hasn't blow up yet.

6/18/2012 #78
Soup Fish

Also, I would like to ask, If Shirou thinks that Chiho is compleatly healed now, why does he need to stay up 9 more hours?

6/18/2012 #79
Obiki Doragon

He's most likely still hopped on Matsu's energy drink, and thus is waiting until Uzume wakes up to tell her the news and then he can go get his share of forty winks.

6/18/2012 #80
Satire Swift

Shirou's being a scientist about it. It's bad form to not follow through with with initial testing plan.

6/18/2012 #81


You forgot the most important part!




6/19/2012 #82


Shirou Chiho For Science

times the presens of Matsu & Kazehana

divided by Miya's attention

to the power of timing . . . . . .

= GARness unleashed

6/19/2012 . Edited 6/19/2012 #83


With all the transformation Homura is undergoing, is it surprizing that his/her body chemistry is all out of wack at this point. Just how many mental disorders are driven by bad brain chemistry ?

6/19/2012 #84
NAJ P. Jackson

I guess Shirou's order of Homura remaining male didn't work then. Poor Homura. I'd be testy myself if I suddenly turn into a girl :P

6/19/2012 . Edited 6/19/2012 #85
Third Fang

also keep in mind that Homura got winged WAY earlier in IF than in Sekirei. That being the case, I think that its only logical that his/her transformation has progressed farther than it has in the manga.

6/19/2012 #86
gabriel blessing

And I'm back after a grueling day of trying to figure out just what my health benefits are, and failing horribly.

Anyway, in response to some questions, I hadn't really considered just what affect Avalon might have on Chiho, dream wise. I might extend her character a bit in one of my omakes, but for now there are other plot elements that are coming to fruitation, so she will probably end up getting back doored a bit.

In response to the gods, part of the reason that research took so long was because I was endlessly cruising the nasu wiki to try and find an article that explained them better. I remembered hearing about the gods being collective representations born out of the dreams of humanity, but I couldn't remember WHERE i heard it, and when I tried to find the article again, well, I ended up just banging my head against the wall.

To be fair, since this is 1st person Shirou I can just hand wave the vagaries off as him not knowing, thus him not being able to explain, but that was something which annoyed me to no end. Another little bit of lore that I had to dance around was Dead Apostle immortality. I also remembered reading that the reason's DA's could heal wasn't that they were healing but because they were 'automatically resetting or regressing any damage done to them' to a point where they weren't injured, but again, I couldn't find the actual reference so that segment of the conversation got axed as well.

Actually, there was a lot of parts of conversation in this chapter that got axed for time constraints, because they derailed the dialogue, because they were unnecessary, etc, etc.

Also, in regards to the constant debates that 'This isn't Shirou, it's just a guy with Shirou's name', I think the spawning of these debates is that I don't generally explain WHY Shirou has changed until pretty late in my fics. With Hill of Swords, there was the dreamcycle showing how he was slowly abandoned, Louise coming to terms with why her Servant was twisted and how she could help him, that kind of thing. It took a while, but by the end of HoS I thought that explaining how Shirou had become ServantSHirou had gone pretty well.

It's the same thing in In Flight. There is a reason Shirou became like he is, still Shirou-esque but willing to walk the Path of the Asura. Part of it was explained with Shirou just having more experience and having been more heavily exposed to Magus culture. There is another reason for it that should show up later, right around the time when yes, Rin and Saber really will show up.

That help answer some questions?

6/19/2012 #87
Obiki Doragon

I think it did, but rose the anticipation for their said arrival by several degrees.

6/19/2012 #88

The gods in Type Moon are creatures that are accepted as such by both humanity and Gaia GB. If only accepted by humanity, they become a heroic or villainous spirit. If only accepted by Gaia, they become an elemental.

6/19/2012 #89


Got a source for that?

6/19/2012 #90
« Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 .. Last Next »
Forum Moderators: gabriel blessing Obiki Doragon, Mu-Sensei
  • Forums are not to be used to post stories.
  • All forum posts must be suitable for teens.
  • The owner and moderators of this forum are solely responsible for the content posted within this area.
  • All forum abuse must be reported to the moderators.
Membership Length: 2+ years 1 year 6+ months 1 month 2+ weeks new member