The Mechanics of In Flight
One of my reviewers mentioned the idea of starting a forum for those who want to debate various points of my story without clogging up the review section too much. I decided to go ahead and give it a try.
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gabriel blessing

Well, here's the thread for those wanting to any particular questions answered. Feel free to start listing them out.

9/23/2012 #1
Servius Regis

Whew. I take it this is the last exposition chapter?

9/23/2012 #2
Khagerou

@GB- Damn YOU! I have a test in two hours so I can't read it right now.

9/23/2012 #3
Obiki Doragon

Here we go. So, if I know my stations of canon; then Shirou should be meeting the entirety of the DS next chapter. Right?

9/23/2012 #4
alethiophile

Now this is interesting. I approve.

9/23/2012 #5
Megaolix

...The chant. Where in God's name did you take such a crappy version of the chant? If you were going to try to use the original, try to get it correctly. 'The Unlimited Blade Works'? Seriously? Please, change it! Here, here's a translation of the japanese version I got.

My body is made out of swords.

My blood is of iron and my heart of glass

I survived through countless battles

Not even once retreating,

Not even once victorious

The bearer lies here alone

Forging iron on the hill of swords.

But my life needs no meaning.

This body was made out of limitless swords.

9/23/2012 . Edited 9/23/2012 #6
Servius Regis
...The chant. Where in God's name did you take such a crappy version of the chant? If you were going to try to use the original, try to get it correctly. 'TheUnlimited Blade Works'? Seriously? Please, change it!

I agree with this. I've seen way too many people try to change the UBW chant because they think that their version of Shirou needs one that is "cooler" or "reflects this incarnation more." Almost all of them turn out far worse. This one unfortunately is not an exception. It loses a lot of the luster and power of the original aria.

9/23/2012 #7
Obiki Doragon

Well, so much for trying to avoid that elephant. I'll admit it was a little...eh.

9/23/2012 #8
Jimbobob5536

Well it's not the original. It's not supposed to be.

Also, looking at things, it's probably going to change at some point in the story. Even as Shirou himself said, he's not quite there. It's a work in progress.

Cut Gabe some slack.

9/23/2012 #9
gabriel blessing

Actually, that's an alternative translation of the chant. The original chant in the graphic novel was unique in that the kanji had alternative readings spelled out over them. I think they're called Furigana, but I can't remember for sure, but they're used so readers who don't know the kanji can understand them. Nasu tends to use them to spell out completely different words. He also had an English translation included that was completely different from the Japanese version, the whole 'bone of my sword' spiel.

This particular chant is a reading which uses the furigana in relation to the kanji in an alternative method.

Trust Nasu to make even reading the story overly complicated.

9/23/2012 #10
Obiki Doragon

Oh...Well damn that furigana to hell. Wouldn't have been better to use the old man rendition or the English rendition? Cause I must be missing something for you to use such a choppy version of the aria and how it fits in to Shirou's current perception of reality.

9/23/2012 #11
Megaolix

This particular chant is a reading which uses the furigana in relation to the kanji in an alternative method.

And it sucks. Can you please change it? I mean, even if he's 'still not there', he still had a good chant in the UBW route. Can't you stick to it or use a version accepted instead of an obscure translation that sucks?

9/23/2012 . Edited 9/23/2012 #12
Shioran Toushin

meh, it's still a trial version for Shirou as he is not yet at his defining moment against Gilgamesh awesome UBW chant, not to the other IMHO awesome fanmade chants (wich make sense in-context):

Sacrificed all of my self, to forge myself infinite lives. For as long as a single blade remains, my dream shall not fade away. This is my ideal reborn in steel, infinite lives within infinite swords. From the very beginning this was the only path, I have become Unlimited Blade Works


"I don't weave illusions…" "…I create alternatives." "What do I see?" "Worlds beyond Worlds." "Swords beyond Swords." If every idea was a blade, if every dream was a sword. If every possible tale could create a weapon of legend. If every battle gave birth to a story, which powered the swords i would one day call my own. If every weapon could be imagined, if every dream could find a world to EXIST. Then for someone like me who lived between those worlds …. "What do i see?" "Swords beyond Swords."


A thousand promises, all broken within you. You are my tomb, you are my sword. Light lies not in you, Unworthy of Fate's rest: A thousand fragments and a trillion deaths. You are my shield, my faded wreath. So heed my call


nor the awesome translitered chants.

Not related, but still awesome DnD fan spell:

"I am the first to strike." "I am the last thing you will see before death claims you." "I am speed incarnate." "I am inevitability made flesh." "I was the wind that seared every bit of your flesh." "I will be the rock that will break your bone." "None shall out-race my blades." "None shall be unharmed by my blow." "I am The First Word." "I am The Final Word."

9/23/2012 #13
Satire Swift

I have to wonder, Shirou and Matsu were about to kiss while he still had UBW deployed (internally). Would that have affected her Norito? Or have had some other, more horrifying result?

9/23/2012 #14
gabriel blessing

Relax, as someone already guess, the final chant is going to be like 70% different, so it's kind of irrelevant at a later point. This chant was used mostly so it would be appropriately bleak for Matsu to hear.

9/23/2012 #15
Adyen

I think that's enough about the chant. So, here's another thing: Shirou needs to wing Karasuba. If wining everyone else lets him get to nearly the end of the aira, then winging her will let him finish it and we will get to see UBW in all its glory.

9/23/2012 #16
Shioran Toushin

wasn't Karasuba already winged by the other one who is gay but can't actually remember his name?

otoh we could test Rule Breaker lol.

9/23/2012 #17
deus-rasengan2

Yeah, but bleeding heart Shirou probably won't do anything until Karasuba makes the first move.

Shirou wishes Rin was here now. She could explain these things so much better.

9/23/2012 . Edited 9/23/2012 #18
oirabot
thank you. (makes snowbell's cutely delihhyed face when he gets food from stuart lil' movie)
9/23/2012 #19
hanashinobi

I kind of feel Shirou was a little too oblivious to Matsu when he has shown in the past that he is better at reading the mood than that, though you could say the hell with it and blame it on alcohol or counter force.

9/23/2012 #20
Satire Swift

@Adyen

Am I the only person on this forum that thinks Karasuba is a sociopath? And not a comedic one, but an honest, incapable of empathizing with other people sociopath? She's perfectly fine as a character, but I've seen nothing to indicate that's she's capable of actually caring about other people.

9/23/2012 #21
gabriel blessing

It's partly the alcohol, I tried to put that in there, but the other thing is that Shirou is just that oblivious about himself. He doesn't see himself as 'wrong' or 'mistaken'. Thus, he can understand why others might think so, but only in an objective way. His self blindness to his own wrongness is a fundamental part of him, contributing to the 'wrong genre savvy' that I've been trying to emphasize.

9/23/2012 #22
David The Lord Of GrimDark

That is a very interesting take, the Counter Force influencing Shirou. That is something I never thought of.

Wait, does that mean the CF is Narrative Causality?

9/23/2012 #23
gabriel blessing

Actually, that's 'psychopath'. A 'psychopath' is someone who is physically incapable of feeling or understanding human emotions. That leads to predatory behavior. A 'sociopath' can feel emotions, but all according to the wrong stimulus. Think more 'Hannibal Lector'. Technically speaking, I think Shirou counts as a sociopath. He feels emotions, but in the wrong way, hence his distortion. He's a functional sociopath, but a sociopath none the less.

9/23/2012 #24
Satire Swift

It's a bit of a grey area. Both Psychopathy and Sociopathy can be characterized by callousness to/lack of empathy, and there are a number of other factors which determine which is which. Really, I don't care which it is, the important part (and the reason why I've never cared for Shriou/Karasuba) is that she can't feel/care about the pain she causes.

9/23/2012 #25
alethiophile

I think some lack of empathy is a required component of either psychopathy or sociopathy. Hence, despite being rather messed up in the head Shirou wouldn't count; he's nothing but empathy.

9/23/2012 #26
Daniel K. English

(I sat down to begin reading my history textbook for recitation in nine hours and In Flight updates. Y U SO GUD TIMING GB!?)

I was reeeally giddy when Shirou [SPOILER] told Matsu about EMIYA [/SPOILER] because I've been waiting for it since he revealed the Heroes' identities to Homura.

I'm also curious about Karasuba's next appearance. She's a favorite of mine (DAMN YOU I.F. OMAKES!) after Miya and you'll please a number of readers by having her pop up a bit more often.

Overall, the chapter was readable. Maybe I developed a tolerance for reading info dumps (human adaptability is a scary thing...) but it was an interesting take on the Nasuverse. That said, the info drops being over makes me look forward (even more) to the next chapter. With "Hero's Tail" and "Infinite Swords" not having updated in over a week, I'm on GAR withdrawal. :(

9/23/2012 #27
NAJ P. Jackson

I find Shirou comparing magecraft mechanics to acomputer a bit iffy. Only a few weeks ago he was ignorant of technology and now he's suddenly knowledgable in the inner workings of a computer :/

And I agree with everyone about the chant. I think it's better to use the English version imo like what you did with HoS. I always associate GB related fics to the English version of the chant while Third Fang has the Japanese literal chant in his fanfic *shrug*

9/23/2012 . Edited 9/23/2012 #28
alethiophile

Well, he isn't, particularly. As a computer type myself, some of those analogies made me kind of cringe. I think that's fine; he's just going with what Matsu is comfortable with.

9/23/2012 #29
chrnno

Yeah, the analogies sound like something my grandmother that sometimes has trouble turning on the pc would say. Regardless they are obvious and ultimately that is more important.

Also it was just me or when someone else started reading the chant realized it wouldn't work since it is not badass enough for something like UBW?

9/24/2012 . Edited 9/24/2012 #30
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