Teasers, Tangents and Tears
Because I can't be the only one who's going insane in wait for Clockwork Prince. I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT! Ahem. So, here's where you can spew your theories, opinions and general loon babbling. I'll also post CP teasers for you to foam at the mouth over.
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a Happy Psychosis

REAL ASSIGNMENT, MINIONS! BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Right. Minions, while we sit here and stew as we wait for December, I have a way to keep ID alive and annoy the rest of the world at the same time - Troll them, if you would. Okay, so there's this site called Omegle. com, and it automatically sets you up in a chat with a random Stranger from anywhere. Totally safe except for perverts which you can disconnect from or troll all the harder, depending on your levels of badassery.

So do this, and troll them with ID. Easier than it sounds, and so much fun if your bored.

BEWARE: The state of some peoples' grammar may fry your braincells, #justaheadsup.

If you find a good one, post it here. You win The Game for life if you find a fellow Idrisian, m'kay? GO FORTH AND TROLL, MY PRETTIES. TROLL!

6/30/2011 #1
a Happy Psychosis

Like this, n00bs:

Stranger: 14 f us

Stranger: you?

You: 17, m, London (1878)

Stranger: 1878?

You: Yes.

You: Do you have a problem with it?

Stranger: no i jus dont kno what it means ?

You: I pity what has to become of the human race.

You: I can only hope my own species is doing better...

Stranger: i sorry but id understand

TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...

6/30/2011 #2
Ski October

There you are! I haven't heard from you in weeks! Danielle Redfern and I were just talking about your abscence the other day!

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! I MISSED YOU MY DARLING BRITISH NUTCASE! D:

6/30/2011 #3
a Happy Psychosis

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl?

You: 17/m/London, 1878

Stranger: 19 f malaysia

Stranger: have afb?

You: What in the world is afb?

Stranger: facebook

You: Why would I waste perfectly good reading material by slicing off faces and filing them? Strange customs these days.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

No sense of humour, some people... =_=

6/30/2011 #4
a Happy Psychosis

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: swag

You: I am the definition.

Stranger: JUSTIN IS THAT YOU;)?

You: Will, actually.

Stranger: well then you are therefor wrong.

You: I am never wrong. Not even if I say the sky is purple and made of hedgehogs.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

One of these days I'll have a conversation over ten lines. I WILL.

6/30/2011 #5
a Happy Psychosis

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey asl

You: 17/f/London, 1878

Stranger: Im Male 17 from USA

Stranger: hey have you ever hit a guy in the nuts?

You: What a dreadful question. The worst I've ever done is decapitate a small person with my parasol until he was reduced to a red smear.

Stranger: k

Stranger:

You: Your singular consonants confuse me. Proper grammar is only to be expected.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

How frightfully rude.

6/30/2011 #6
a Happy Psychosis

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: heyy

You: Will?

Stranger: yup

You: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

Stranger: fucking whores

You: Spare me the details, not that I'm the least bit shocked. Tells you something about your character, hm?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I FOUND HIM, YOU GUYS! But then he went to go brood... I MISS YOU!

6/30/2011 #7
a Happy Psychosis

BB I MISSED YOU TOO!

And I have been transferring some of my obsessive personality onto another unfortunate series. And what were you talkin' 'bout? All shameful, I hope? XD

6/30/2011 #8
Jadepearl

I'm so glad you're back! Which series?

Shameful? No, we were just wondering where'd you'd gone off to. I was afraid you hadn't gotten out of the tree ;D

6/30/2011 #9
Ski October

Sorry, Jadepearl is my sister's account. FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME I didn't know she'd left it up. So, just ignore that post xD

6/30/2011 #10
a Happy Psychosis

It's by George R. R. Martin, called A Song of Ice and Fire. There's five books out in the series so far, and I am GRIEVING OVER HERE. O_O

If we thought Cassie was bad for character and therefore reader torture, geeze, this guy is the Master Troll. Normal, kindly authors say stuff like, "Oh, it's so hard to kill off characters - I love them too! I only do it when I have to, I promise there's a good point!" but Martin's just go, "AW. YOU'RE ADORABLE." And the fans are like, "Oh Dear God, you glorious bastard! You made me love them! Why do you make me feel these things?! WHY?!" *Puts on sunglasses* "Because fuck you, that's why."

But I can't st-o-o-o-o-oooop. *BRB CRYING FOREVER*

Ahem. They made the first book a ten-part TV series called Game of Thrones, if you're interested. It's AWESOME.

And that is what I've been doing.

Because I have a life.

Ahem.

O________O

7/2/2011 #11
a Happy Psychosis

You: DO YOU HAVE DEMON POX?

Stranger: Yeah

You: I kneeeeeeeeeew iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...

You: THEY SAID I WAS CRAZY BUT I SHOWED THEM.

You: OH, I SHOWED THEM.

Stranger: Yes u did

Stranger: WE showed them

You: DO YOU SEE THIS FROM YOUR CAGES, MOTHERFUCKERS?

You: I SCOURED THE EARTH, FOUGHT MY WAY THROUGH.

You: CLIMBED MOUNTAINS RUNNING ONLY ON OPIUM AND A SINGLE CASHEW NUT.

You: FUCKED UP EVERY FUCKER THAT GOT IN MY WAY

Stranger: Wtf???

You: BITCH SLAPPED A KRAKEN IN THE DEPTHS OF THE ATLANTIC BY HOLDING A SINGLE BREATH.

Stranger: crazy fuck...

You: THERE ARE CONTINENTS WITH A LOWER POPULATION THAN MY BODY COUNT, BUT I DID IT.

You: NOW DO YOU LOVE ME, DADDY?

You: NOW DO YOU LOVE ME?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

THAT is the reason of Will's fuckedupnessm. Duh. You're welcome.

7/2/2011 #12
mostlyblue

K so, I read through your conversations and I have to say that they're hilarious. I'm serious. I was laughing so hard...

Trolling is fun, if I must say so myself, but I wonder if the last stranger had any idea what you were talking about :)

7/4/2011 #13
Nephilim Jedi

yeah the conversations are super funny! : D you should be six fingered nigel in one of them : D hehehehehehheeheh

7/18/2011 #14
mostlyblue

Ohhhh man, I'd love to see that conversation haha

7/18/2011 #15
a Happy Psychosis

DO. IT. THEN.

GOD.

O_O

You guys have to try. If you have an idea, USE IT and troll like there's no tomorrow. It's anonymous - completely, like - you go to Omegle.com, click Text and then you're chatting to your victim- I mean Stranger. Ahem.

Horny dudes are a hazard, sure, but you're all disturbed enough to handle that, I think. ;) And you can troll them even better. Like THE BOSS YOU ARE.

GO FORTH AND TROLL, MY PRETTIES. TROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

Serisouly. GTFO. O_O

7/18/2011 #16
Nephilim Jedi

but master, I don't posess comedic geneus like you do!!! If I did it people would be like eh? instead of BWWAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

sigh : (

7/19/2011 #17
a Happy Psychosis

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU DON'T TRY, BY LOVELY LITTLE MINION?

And if it does suck beyond all imagining (and I doubt it will, TBH), you can just exit the chat and repress your memory of it and nobody would ever know but the befuddled young soul on the other end of the connection. And then you try again.

O_O Because you love us. Right?

RIGHT?

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE MEH?

7/19/2011 #18
Nephilim Jedi

I finally got on to omeggle. At first I was like "read infernal devices by cassandra clare, that is all" but three people in a row left without saying anything. This one was Okay. (i'm Camille)

Stranger: hi

You: Hello, foolish Mortal

Stranger: .....

You: That's right, cower, mortal

Stranger: -_- *kicks you in the nuts*

You: That was rude. I will be forced to suck your blood now.

Stranger: *punches your throat*

You: Hey!

Stranger: give up?

You: you are a very violent human, aren't you?

Stranger: no just not in the mood

You: hmmm.

Stranger: ya sorry bout the throat but in my defense you did try and bite me

You: Well, duh, I was hungry

Stranger: ......go find a pig. There almost the same as humans u know

You: Pigs are like humans- HAHAHAH you're funny

Stranger: they why do doctors work on pigs before they get there doctor license. its beacuse pigs are almost the same as humans, doctors also somethimes use a pigs heart in a heart trasplant to give the person more time

Stranger: bet you didn't know that

You: No, I was not aware of that. I will have one of my human subjugates deliver you a fruit basket

Stranger: just pineapple please. i love pineapple

You: Peaches it is

Stranger: *kicks your shin*

Stranger: dont make me get the holy water

You: AHAHAHAHAHAAHHHHAH

You: you think you can outsmart me?

You: Who do you think you are? Will Heronndale?

Stranger: *pokes your eye*

Then the person left...

7/20/2011 . Edited 7/20/2011 #19
Nephilim Jedi

since I was a good little minion and trolled, will you please post the next chapter of "Fragments" : )

7/20/2011 #20
a Happy Psychosis

*Applauds* That was awesome! Seriously, that was a totaly bri-

Uh, I- I mean, um - you are learning, Young One. O_O

Aaahhh, I haven't even written it, heh. Weeeeeeeeell, I've written one.

Ahem.

But for the awesomenes that was the trolling up there, you get deds when the next chapters up, kay? :)

7/21/2011 #21
downstage

Guys, you've inspired me. And I met a totally awesome Omegler :)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: *

You: Hi?

Stranger: hi

You: Are you a watermelon?

Stranger: no im not but i think youre an orange

You: No, actually. I'm a pineapple.

Stranger: cool

You: Do you want to join me in my quest to rid the world of evil eggplants?

Stranger: yes :D

You: Good. Now, should we torture the eggplants or just kill them?

Stranger: before we torture then kill them

You: Ooh, yes. I like you already.

You: Torture methods?

Stranger: mm

Stranger: we cut their green sides

Stranger: and then

Stranger: pour the salt

You: O_o that's brilliant :)

You: I have another way: We dig six little holes in them with a spoon. Then we fill the holes with acid. Then we cover up the holes and wait until the whole eggplant disintergrates

You: It hurts. I know from experience.

Stranger: better :D

Stranger: how many eggplant did you kill

You: I've killed a total of 78029 eggplants

Stranger: youre master of eggplants :P :D

You: It's not enough! ITS NEVER ENOUGH!

Stranger: when will you stop

You: THE EGGPLANTS JUST KEEP COMING BACK! I CANT HOLD THEM ALL OFF BY MYSELF!

You: I WILL NOT REST UNTIL ALL OF THE EGGPLANTS ARE DEAD!

Stranger: why dont you like eggplants

You: Uh... Because they're evil? What type of fruit/vegetable are you?

Stranger: I'm an apple

Stranger: so i hate

Stranger: vegetables

You: *high five*

You: Vegetables must die

Stranger: exactly!

You: ... I need to tell you something...

You: It's top secret, so you cant tell anyone

Stranger: ok, i listen

You: I'm a part of the Secret Organisation For the Promotion Of Vegetable Killing.

Stranger: :O

You: It's a top secret organisation, and only a very select few fruits can join

You: We've been fighting Vegetables for years now

Stranger: :O how many fruits fight

You: All fruits FIGHT. It's just a few extremely intelligent, ruthless fruits who are part of the SOFPVK

You: And just recently, we discoved the Secret Vegetable Plot To Kill All Fruits Who Stand In Their Way

You: We don't know all the details yet, but its very dangerous

Stranger: OMG :O

You: It may destroy fruuit kind as we know it

You: NO ONE IS SAFE! NO ONE!

You: Please, don't take any unnecessary risks. These vegetables are heartless killing machines

Stranger: ok :(

You: Oh my god....

You: ITS A BROCOLI! AND ITS GOT A KNIFE!

Stranger: OMG!!!!

You: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Stranger: KILL IT

You: SPREAD THE WORD! PROTECT FRUIT-KIND! NEVER GIVE UP!

Stranger: I'LL FIGHT

You: OH MY GOD, THERES AN EGGPLANT, CAULIFLOWER AND CUCUMBER, TOO!

You: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SAAAAAAAVEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEE!

You have disconnected.

8/10/2011 #22
a Happy Psychosis

I- I think I love you...

8/10/2011 #23
downstage

I think I love me, too ^-^

You: Hey

Stranger: hihi

You: Will?

Stranger: m/f

You: f

You: Will?

Stranger: i am m

Stranger: cool

Stranger: how old are u?

You: 17

You: WILL!?

Stranger: wad is that?

You: Are you Will!?!

Stranger: no

Stranger: can we chat??

You: Are you Jem?

Stranger: no

You: Jace?

Stranger: no

You: Alec?

You: Magnus?

You: Simon?

Stranger: simon

You: O.o

You: CHEATING BASTARD

Stranger: no

Stranger: i m not

You: Eh, don't worry. =

You: You'll end up with Izzie, everyone knows it

You: Wait... You are the DAYLIGHTER Simon, right?

Stranger: yes..i am

Stranger: i am not cheating

Stranger: are you thr?

You: Well, you kind of WERE.

You: Sorry to break it to you, but Maia hates you now.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

8/10/2011 #24
downstage

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey there stranger

You: hey there other random stranger :)

Stranger: how's life on your end?

You: good :)

You: Will?!

Stranger: not will

Stranger: :(

You: Jem?

Stranger: not jem :(

You: :(

You: Jace?

Stranger: not jace :(

You: Gabriel?

Stranger: not gabe :(

You: WHY ARE YOU CRUSHING MY DREAMS, YOU DREAM CRUSHER?!

You: Alec?

Stranger: i'm hardly alec :(

You: D:

You: Simon?

Stranger: barely a simon :(

You: But... you're a little bit Simon????

Stranger: only slightly

You: Awww D:

Stranger: i know, i know

You: Magnus?!?!

Stranger: i dont mean to crush your dreams

You: PLEASE!

Stranger: oooh so close to magnus!

You: It's okay. Not many people are magnus D:

You: Uh...

You: Magic awesome person?

Stranger: bingo.

You: I THOUGHT SO!

Stranger: pretty good guess, i do have to say

You: Well, I was just about to say that if you weren't Alec, Magnus, Jace, Will or Jem then you weren't awesome :(

You: BUT YOU'VE PROVED ME WRONG

You: MAGIC AWESOME PERSOn

Stranger: that's what i do 8I

You: I'm a damn good guesser if i do say so myself ^^

Stranger: i'm quite impressed!

You: You should be!

Stranger: i can only assume youre jenna.

You: No, sadly, I am not Jenna.

You: I know, I know

Stranger: well duh, cause you're obviously nicole.

You: I'm a hypocritical dream crusher

You: But I'm not nicole either D:

Stranger: no shit, cause you're jessica

You: IM SO SORRY! SO, SO SORRY!

You: I'm just barely a Jessica D:

Stranger: but youre definitely a kara

You: O.o

You: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?!

Stranger: a.. a.... madison

You: No

You: I'll give you a hint. It starts with E.

Stranger: erin

You: Nope

You: And it's surprisingly similar to your name ^^

Stranger: magic awesome person?

You: That's your name, and it doesn't start with an e

You: But yes, it's quite similar to that

You: Okay, it's three words.

Stranger: e____ _____ _____

You: the second letter is a P

Stranger: epic ______ _______

You: Second word: 7 letters

Stranger: hmm

Stranger: epic prettyz _______

You: nope

You: *sounds like*

You: agical

Stranger: epic magical person?

You: YES!~

Stranger: oh, i should have figured it was you

You: You're a great guesser too!

Stranger: most def

You: Yeah, actually, you kind of should have ^^

You: But I'm still impressed!

You: Even if you aren't will

Stranger: i mean, it's pretty obvious looking back at it

You: Wait- DO YOU HAVE DEMON POX?!

Stranger: er no?

You: YOU'RE IN DENIAL!

You: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!

You: *hyperventilates*

Stranger: demon pox sounds gross

Stranger: i dont do gross things

You: THATS THE FIRST STAGE! YOU NEED TO CONTACT WILL HERONDALE IMMEDIATELY

Stranger: the first stage is not having it?

You: The first stage is denial O.o

You: I NEED TO SEVER THIS CONNECTION BEFORE THE INFECTION SPREADS!

Stranger: :/

You: IM SORRY, MAGIC AWESOME PERSON

You: I CANT RISK IT!

You: GOODBYE!

Stranger: ouch.

Stranger: ill remember this.

You: AND PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND RAZIEL, CONTACT WILL HERONDALE IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

You: IM SO SORRY! IT HAS TO BE DONE!

You have disconnected.

It had to be done. I will always remember poor, demon pox infected, magic awesome person. *cries*

8/11/2011 #25
downstage

I'm sorry for spamming this thread =/ BUT ITS SO FUNNY =D

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You:hi

Stranger:Hey

You:*cries*

Stranger:Why are you crying?

You:I JUST HAD TO- *SOB- DISCONNECT WITH- *SOB- THE EPICEST OMEGLER EVER- *SOB*

You:BECAUSE HE- *sobs*- HAD D-D-DEMON POX!!!!!!!!!!!!

You:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Stranger:Asl?

You:DID YOU NOT HEAR ME BREAK DOWN OVER HAVING TO DISCONNECT WITH MAGIC AWESOME PERSON?!

You:What kind of a human being ARE YOU!

You:You're so INCONSIDERATE!

You:*throws glass pitcher*

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

8/11/2011 . Edited 8/11/2011 #26
downstage

You: hi

Stranger: hiiiiiiiii

You: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Stranger: m or f

You: I WIN

You: HA!

Stranger: ????????????????????

You: LOSER, LOSER!

Stranger: m orvfd

You: ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

You: I WIN AGAIN!

You: HA!

Stranger: m or f

You: FAIL!

You: *climbs a mountain*

-----------------

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi

You: Hi

You: O.o

Stranger: Uh?

You: What uh?

Stranger: Why the O.o face?

You: Why what O.o face?

You: There was no O.o face.....?

Stranger: What put Hi then O.o

You: Umm, no i didn't

Stranger: Yes you did! You silly muggle

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Now I regret trolling them. They were so awesome =(

--------------

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: M or f

You: What, no hello?

Stranger: Hello

You: Just straight up asking me what gender I am?

You: PEOPLE these days!

You: No manners whatsoever!

Stranger: Can we start over

You: It's despicable!

You: "can we start over" CAN WE START OVER. CAN. WE. START. OVER

You: NO WE CAN NOT START OVER!

Stranger: Please

You: You- you- you FILTHY LITTLE MUGGLE!

You have disconnected.

----------------

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: hi

You: O.o

Stranger: m/f

You: O.o

You: f

You: O.o

Stranger: nicee

You: O.o

You: You?

You: O.o

You: I'm assuming male

You: O.o

Stranger: yes

You: O.o

You: okay

You: O.o

Stranger: soooo was up

You: O.o

You: Was up?

You: O.o

Stranger: nmu

You: I'm pretty sure that makes no sense

You: O.o

Stranger: wat does

You: O.o

Stranger: doesnt make sence

You: "What's up" makes sense

You: So does Will Herondale

Stranger: lol

You: If he tells you the sky is puple and made of hedgehogs, listen to him!

You: LISTEN!

You: LIIISSSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Stranger: k

You: I do no understand your single letter constonants

You: Please use proper grammar whilst talking to me

Stranger: kay

You: That is just spelling out the said single constanant

Stranger: whatr

Stranger: what

Stranger: ?

You: I'm sorry, obviously you do not understand the concept of grammar.

You: Or of Will Herondale. Good day.

You have disconnected.

--------------

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: O.o

Stranger: iiiiiiiiiiii

You: O.o

You: Hi!

Stranger: hiiiiiiiiiiiii

Stranger: morf

Stranger: m or f

Stranger: hello m ore f

You: ore? Morf? iiiiiiiiiii?

Stranger: m or f

You: i do not understand these... ahem... "words" that you are speaking

You: M? F/

Stranger: U NOW WHAT U DONT U GO FUCK UR MOM OR SUCK UR DADS DICK

Stranger: !

You: What's so hard about spelling out the whole word?

You: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You: Anger management, anger management

Stranger: SHUT THE FUCK UP GO FUCK UR BEST FREIND FAGGOT

You: That's homophobic of you.

Stranger: WELL UR WHOLE LIFE IS HOMOPHOBIC

You: Uh, that doesn't make any sense.

You: You should really try to be clearer when you type/speak :)

Stranger: SHIT HTE FUCK U GO FUCK URSELF

You: Now, see, I have obviously helped you become a better grammatical person.

You: My work is done. Good bye.

Stranger: FUCK Y

Stranger: FUCK YOU

Stranger: FUCK U

You: Fuck y?

Stranger: FUCK

Stranger: FUCK U

You: Obviously, I failed.

Stranger: FUCK U

You: There is nothing I can do for you. I'm sorry.

You: You're too far gone/

You: I'm sorry :(

You have disconnected.

Whats better than pissing people off? Oh, that's right, pissing people off by criticising their grammar ^^.

---------------

Question to discuss:

Do chickens clap?

You: Of course they do. What an absurd question.

Stranger: Absurdity?

Stranger: What would you know of absurdity!

You: I WOULD KNOW PLENTY OF ABSURDITY! MY LIFE IS BUILT AROUND ABSURDITY!

You: But you, sir, are a utterly un-absurd person

You: I am ashamed to speak to you.

You: Good day.

8/11/2011 #27
downstage

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi, male or female?

You: Now, see, that's really not a very polite way to get to know someone.

You: You could say "hey"

Stranger: its a start

Stranger: hi.

You: and then I would say "hi"

Stranger: what how i started my sentence

Stranger: was hi

You: And then you could say "how are you?"

Stranger: i said hi first

You: And then I could say "Good, you?"

Stranger: before that id to know your gender

Stranger: id like to know your gender before anything

Stranger: thats usually how it works in real life

You: And then you could say "I'm good too. By the way, are you male or female?"

Stranger: you know someones gender before you even initiate a conversation

You: And then I would tell you that I was, in fact, a female, making this entire lecture ultimately pointless.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Maybe I should have seen that coming

I'm sorry for spamming this thread =/

8/12/2011 #28
empaethy
O.e I have GOT to try this...
8/31/2011 #29
empaethy
Stranger: hi // You: 'Ello, minion //And then it disconnected. The fuck? -.-
8/31/2011 #30
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