The Return of Jumpy's Haven
A place to Roleplay for my friends. Mostly invite only but if you do want to join please post a link to an rp you are part of so I can view your skills.
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Jac the Shadow

Me: "Read them and weep! Full House!"

Friend: "...We're playing Uno Dumb-Fuck."

-Me and my friends on a Saturday.

1/31/2012 #391
Mephiles666

In Skyrim, you can't kill Children.

In Skyrim, Dragons are powerful.

In My Little Pony, Spike is a Baby Dragon.

Let that sink.

2/1/2012 #392
Simple Storyteller

New favorite song. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu_Y1wQ923g&feature=related

2/7/2012 #393
Jac the Shadow

BEST JOKES EVER!!!

Who was the man who built Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumference.

There was a pilot, a girl scout, an old man, and the Pope, all on a plane. The plane starts to fall out of the sky, and there are only three parachutes. The pilot takes one and jumps off. The girl scout has one in her arms, when The Pope takes it. "I'm sorry little girl." He then jumps out of the plane. The old man looked sadly at the girl. "It looks like only one of us will make it out of here. The girl scout responds. "Why, there are two parachutes left." And indeed, there was. "How?" The old man asks, confused.

"The Pope jumped out with my backpack."

2/7/2012 #394
Guardian Luigi

Heard it already *Throws tomato*

2/7/2012 #395
Jumpy-Darling

Same *Throws kitchen sink*

2/9/2012 #396
Agent Krivins

Hey, I got one!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby boy and the driver goes, "That is thee ugliest baby I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman, fuming because of what he said, goes to the back of the bus and sits down. She then turns to the man next to her and says, "That driver just unsulted me!"

And the man goes, "Then you march back up there and tell that bastard off - Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

*hides behind a garbage can lid in case of incoming foreign objects*

2/9/2012 #397
Jumpy-Darling

.....lol XD

2/9/2012 #398
The Strongest Nine

*Hand bursts into flame after I'd doused it in a flammable liquid, extinguishes self as the flames consume the liquid.*

My Friend: "HOLY FUCK! YOUR HAND WAS JUST ON FIRE!"

Me: *Glances at friend, looks at hand, back at friend.* "My storeroom of fucks is running low, and winter is coming."

2/9/2012 #399
Jac the Shadow

How about this?

A brunnete, a red-head, and a blonde all jump off a building at the same time. Who hit the ground last.

The blonde, cause she stopped to ask directions.

2/9/2012 #400
Simple Storyteller

JOIN US NOW, FOR NOAH'S RANDOM THOUGHT OF THE DAY

Why is life a circle? Dont act like you dont know what I mean. 'Circle of life' and all that. But why isnt Life a different shape, like a triangle or square? And speaking of squares, why was that shape used as an insult in the last generation or two? What do you people have against squares?

THAT HAS BEEN, NOAH'S RANDOM THOUGHT OF THE DAY. WE HOPE YOU WILL JOIN US TOMORROW.

2/12/2012 . Edited 2/12/2012 #401
Jumpy-Darling

My mum calls me Square and I just sing that song no one's ever heard of like a boss :)

2/12/2012 #402
The Strongest Nine

"C'est la vie, adios, good riddance, fuck you."

My favorite line, right next to;

"My storeroom of fucks is growing low, and winter is coming."

2/13/2012 . Edited 2/13/2012 #403
The Strongest Nine

Roses are red, the sky is blue, and in Soviet Russia NIKOLAI HATES YOU!!

2/14/2012 #404
Simple Storyteller

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours, belong in the zoo, Dont worry, I'll be there too! Not in a cage, but laughing, at you. :P

2/14/2012 #405
Sage of the White Sands

"Well, what am I supposed to say?!? You say it's my decision; Yet, I don't have a choice, do I?!? You're the only one who knows what's going on anyways! I have to go with you, I have to!" - Tidus, to Auron.

2/14/2012 #406
Patchman Returns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzhIfN4UQv8&feature=channel_video_title

2/15/2012 #407
Gryphon's Wrath
Roses are shut the fuck up,

Violets are shut the fuck up,

Shut the fuck up,

Shut the fuck up.

-ECards

2/15/2012 #408
Patchman Returns

...stfu.

:)

2/15/2012 #409
Hikari no Kishi

Fist, I am Fisty!

2/19/2012 #410
Gryphon's Wrath
"Dude?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Is that a submarine?"

"No dude. Didn't you read the caption? It's an UVARD."

"THE FUCK IS AN UVARD!?"

"Oh shit, they just hit those guys with an UVARD."

"What the fuck is an UVARD?"

-Two soldiers, then Princess Cornellia and Gilfried from Code MENT, an abridgement of Code Geass

2/19/2012 . Edited 2/19/2012 #411
Hikari no Kishi

Lady Presenter: Well, that's the end of the film. Now, here's the meaning of life.

[Receives an envelope]

Lady Presenter: Thank you, Brigitte.

[Opens envelope, reads what's inside]

Lady Presenter: M-hmm. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats. Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music. Goodnight.

2/20/2012 #412
The Shadows of Rozla Kaname

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheHumbleWriter?feature=mhee

2/21/2012 #413
The Strongest Nine

http://www.youtube.com/user/Handdestote?feature=mhee

(Woo! New profile!... Youtube must've been hungry...)

2/21/2012 #414
Hikari no Kishi

Hospital Administrator: And what are you doing this morning? Obstetrician: It's a birth. Hospital Administrator: Ah. And what sort of thing is that? Dr. Spenser: Well, that's where we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy. Hospital Administrator: Wonderful what we can do nowdays.

2/21/2012 #415
The Timid Thief

If I had a nickel for every time I've failed math, I would have 23 cents.

2/21/2012 #416
Jac the Shadow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6ZS4xvWtwo&feature=related

Best sport ever!

2/22/2012 #417
The Strongest Nine

Well, they say that one's true rights are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but the pursuit of happiness had long been taken, once we step foot unto the earth and realize the mistakes of not only our lives but of the wretched that rule us we can see the horror of it all. Liberty and life are the same thing, without life how can you have liberty and without liberty you won't have much of a life. But I've come to realize that in the modern world you can only pick between two things, Freedom of Justice. If you always act with Justice someday you'll end up behind the bars of a jail cell, devoid of hope and soon ready to take your own life, while if you believe in the Freedom of life you'll live your life to the max, but not many will be able to trust you. It's either do this, or do that, life is filled with choices, all of which have a different outcome, but soon you'll come to realize, even with all the support you receive for your decision, you're on your own.

- Me

2/23/2012 #418
Hikari no Kishi

"Democracy is a process of continuing renewal."

- Kevin Rudd

2/24/2012 #419
Jumpy-Darling

"When life gives you lemons, squirt them in life's eyes and run away laughing,"

"Don't tempt fate, ring his door bell and run away instead, he hates that,"

- Me

2/24/2012 #420
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