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Wolf Caper

RULES

- be completely honest and don't worry about prettying up your comments or focusing on the good stuff

- no hatred!! flaming is okay and criticism is okay, but I'd like a reason why you don't like something or why you think something else would be better, not just "that's stupid I hate it" and nothing else

- make sure you make sense and use correct grammar or I won't know what the fuck you are talking about!!

- keep in mind that I KNOW the werewolves in the show aren't exactly like they are in my fic; I added a more animalistic spin on their behavior than they have shown in any episode so far

I'd really like opinions on my current fic. I deleted my first fic, 'The Taming of the Prude', a Supernatural one. I didn't really like it and have decided not to do any Supernatural fics after all unless I get a SUPER good idea that I can't pass up, because there are just so many already in the fandom, I think I would get lost in the mix, and I don't want that. I write for my readers, not for myself. I'm just gonna go with Teen Wolf for now... :) I already have a few in mind besides 'Show Me Your Teeth'.

I'd like to discuss SMYT. I've gotten plenty of reviews, and they're all positive, with a few constructive comments here and there. I'd like some more constructive criticism. I know there are things wrong with the fic, and I'd like to know exactly what they are....other than the occasional typo here and there.... I have tried to stick with the characters, while factoring in the point that they are all werewolves now, in my story, and changing their personalities only as much as I need to to fit that. I've made my own assumptions on things that are not stated in the show, and I think they mostly make sense. Please tell me if you think they don't :)

I am going to start the prequal to SMYT soon, and it will illustrate everything that happened to make the pack who they are now; werewolves. I am also going to do a sequel to SMYT, and a small one-shot Thanksgiving fic that surrounds the pack as they are in SMYT. It will be a sort of add-on, but will also be able to be read as a standalone.

Please let me know what you think! And don't worry about hurting my feelings, I learn from criticism.....unless I completely and totally without a doubt disagree with it, and in that case I just ignore it, lol.

11/21/2011 #1
Wolf Caper

I'm am currently in the process of re-writing my latest chapter. I read it and was horrified. I don't know how I posted it without seeing what was so wrong with it. There are so many typos and missing words it's fucking pathetic. Also, the entire makeout scene SUCKED! It seemed cold and forced and had no life. Ugh, what was I thinking? It's fixed, though, and I know it's MUCH better this time because it makes me hot when I read it now, and it didn't before, lmao.

I am almost finished re-editing, and will be reloading the chapter within the next half hour. I want opinions on how it is!! I wil post the old makeout scene and the revised version when it's loaded. I'd love people's take on things.....

11/21/2011 #2
Wolf Caper

Okay, finally finished! I hope this doesn't annoy anyone, all these posts by me, lol. Here is the original makeout scene, and the revised version.... Please tell me what you think!! I think it' so much better, but my boyfriend doesn't know how to critique or anything of the sort, so all he says is "it's good." GRRRRRR

ORIGINAL

Derek was completely out of control.

He wasn't really sure how it had happened, but he had Stiles pinned to the ground, crouched over him, one leg in between both of his, and he had his hands encircling his wrists, holding them above his head. He couldn't take his mouth away from his. Derek had somhow lost his shirt at one point, and it was tossed in the grass a few feet away. One of Stiles' legs was wrapped around his waist, the other planted firmly on the ground for leverage as he rocked his hips up against Derek's, grinding their denim-covered cocks against each other. Derek was breathing in broken little pants between kisses, and Stiles sounded just as bad.

Derek took one hand away, placing both wrists in the grasp of his left hand, leaving his right to touch and explore. He plunged his fingers underneath Stiles' shirt, pushing it up as he went, gliding along the silky skin and hard msucle he found. Then his hand dipped lower, fingertips teasing the sensitive skin of his hip bones and pelvis, dipping just underneath the waistband of his jeans and making him groan into Derek's mouth. He loved how responsive Stiles was, how willing and aroused Derek could so easily make him.

He wasn't really sure how this had happened, but he was far beyond caring. Stiles tongue tentatively lapped at Derek's lower lip, and Derek opened his mouth to allow him access. Their mouths battled for dominace, and Stiles put up a hell of a fight, but Derek eventualy won. He ran his hand up the hot chest, then scraped his nails over sensitive buds of flesh, making Stiles arch into him, groaning into his mouth, hips bucking hard against his. Derek couldn't take the distance any more, and he lowered himself down on top of Stiles fully, bringing their hips together with a lusty growl at the feel of how rock hard Stiles was.

Stiles rocked against him, almost desperately, and struggled against the hand holding his wrists. Derek pulled back a moment to stare into his eyes. Stiles stared back at him before breaking eye cantact, and he stopped struggling, submitting to Derek's hold. Only then did Derek release his wrists. Stiles immeditaley plunged his hands into the waistband of Derek's jeans, and Derek couldn't hold back the groan that escaped as they groped for his cock. He pulled his lips away from Stiles, loving how he gasped for breath, and nosed against his jaw until he tilted his head up a little. Derek pressed a sift kiss to the side of his jaw, and Stiles tilted his head all the way back, baring his throat completely.

The sight of Stiles' bared throat and his heaving chest, the tent in his jeans and his faintly glowing eyes, the feel of his hands groping under Derek's jeans...made him go crazy. He rained nipping little bites all over Stiles' throat and neck and what he could get to of his shoulders. Damn shirt was in the way. He tugged on it, but it was impossible to remove from the position Stiles was in, pinned firmly underneath Derek's larger body. He wanted it gone. So he ripped it, tearing it open down the front, then ripping each sleeve open, until only the shirt was nothing more than a piece of thin fabric lying underneath Stiles, with nothing in between Derek and all that hot silky skin any more. Stiles gasped and looked up at Derek with wide, doe-like eyes, shocked.

Then he laughed. A glorious wild laugh, and he arched his body up toward Derek again, pulling against the older guy's belt loops to bring him even closer, and then they were pressed together chest to chest. Derek kissed him again, hard, before pulling away once more. Stiles seemed to know exactly what he wanted, baring his throat again, groaning, his eyes fluttering closed. Derek grinned fiercely and lowered his head to nip and lick at the skin of Stiles. He placed a particularly rough bite against his collarbone, and Stiles whimpered, hips jerking, straining upward as if they could possibly get any closer than they already were.

Derek adjusted his legs, untangling them from Stiles', and moving so he was lying in between his thighs, forcing Stiles to remove his groping hands from Dereks jeans or have them crushed between their bodies. Their cocks pressed againt each other perfectly and they groaned together at the sensation. But, it seemed, Stiles needed more. He thrust up against his alpha, grinding their hips together, seeking the friction he so desperately needed. His hands clutched at Derek's back, nails digging into muscle and leaving marks on his flesh. Derek loved it, and he nipped harder at Stiles' skin, then latched his mouth onto the junction between neck and shoulder, biting hard, making Stiles hiss in pain and pleasure, then he started to suck, drawing blood to the surface and marking him. It was the first time he had ever done that, marked him like that. If Stiles had the ability to think, he would have seen it as another victory.

Their hips thrust together rhythmically, and all Stiles could think of besides how good it felt was how muchbetterit would feel if their jeans weren't in the way. But he coulnd't make himself push Derek away, not even far enough to reach the buttons and zippers, not with the way he was gnawing on his neck like that, alternating between biting and licking and sucking. It was driving him wild, and all he could do was toss his head and whimper and groan and thrust against Derek like a mindless slut.

Then Derek was moving away from his neck, and Stiles was about to protest, until he started making a trail of little nibbles and licks and kisses over his collarbone, down his chest, nipping each nipple roughly, squeezing each between his lips and teeth hard until Stiles was fisting his hands in his hair and growling at the painful pleasure. He left a trail of rough bites, red teeth marks, moving very slowly down his body, soothing the harder nips with a lave of his silky hot tongue.

He reached Stiles abdomen and nibbling at each muscle, dipping his tongue into the teenager's bellybutton. And it felt amazing, but Stiles missed the friction against his cock. He raised his head to look at Derek, and as soon as they locked eyes, Derek grinned fiercely, a dark promise on his lips. It was the sexiest expression Stiles had ever seen in his whole goddamn life. He couldn't breath, just from looking at him. He propped himself up on his elbows to look his fill. And that was when Derek brought his hand up to cup Stiles hard cock through his jeans, rubbing his palm roughly against the bulge, squeezing until Stiles whimpered.

Stiles groaned and fell onto his back once more, but kept his head tilted up so he could see everything the other 'wolf was doing. Derek kept rubbing him though his jeans, while at the same time using his mouth and teeth to open his button and zipper, his free hand undoing the fly on his own jeans. When he took his hand away, Stiles groaned at the loss, and the anticipation of what was coming next. That is, until Derek's mouth pressed against him through the thin fabric of his boxers, where his jeans were wide open in a V and his straining cick was trying to escape... and all coherent thought took a flying leap out the window.

He mouthed Stiles' cock, but didn't pull it out, not yet, content with teasing him through the fabric until Stiles was a breathless mindless begging mess. Only then did Derek curl his fingers into the fabric and begin to remove the last bit of Stiles' clothing.

As his jeans and boxers tugged down over his hipbones, Derek froze. Stiles groaned in protest and growled at him to stop teasing. When he got no reply, no movement, he got a little anxious and opened his eyes. Derek was tense, face serious, head cocked to the side as if listening to something. So Stiles tried to listen, too. It was just really fucking hard with Derek's fingers buried under his boxers, the tips of them almost brushing against his aching cock, so, so close.

Then Derek was pulling away, rising to his feet and re-doing his fly. Stiles frowned. What the fuck? He was doing thisnow? After he had already let it go so far? He sat up and was about to go off on him, start cursing him out,something...but Derek held up a hand to silence him, head still cocked to the side, and Stiles had enough sense back now to know that wasn't a good thing. He was hearing something, and Stiles didn't know what it was because there was so much blood rushing in his ears he couldn't hear anything but the pounding of both their hearts.

REVISED

Derek was completely out of control.

He wasn't really sure how it had happened, but Stiles was pinned to the ground underneath him, wrists locked in the tight grip of Derek's hand. He couldn't get enough if his mouth. Derek had lost his shirt at some point, and it was lying in the grass a few feet away. One of Stiles' legs was clinging to his waist, circling it, the other planted firmly on the ground for leverage as he rocked his hips up against Derek's, grinding their hips together. Derek was breathing in broken little pants between kisses, and Stiles sounded just as bad.

Derek plunged his fingers underneath Stiles' shirt, pushing it up as his fingers glided along the hot silky skin and hard muscle he found. Then his hand slip lower again, fingertips teasing the sensitive skin of hip bones and pelvis, dipping just underneath the waistband of his jeans. Stiles groaned into Derek's mouth, a desperately needy sound, begging for more than the light teasing fingertips were giving him. He loved how responsive Stiles was, how willing and aroused he so easily became under Derek's touch.

He still wasn't sure how this had happened, but he was far beyond caring. Stiles' tongue tentatively lapped at Derek's lower lip, seeking entrance, and Derek opened his mouth willingly to allow him access. Their tongues battled for dominace, and Stiles put up a hell of a fight, but Derek eventually won, of course. He ran his hand up the hot chest, then scraped his nails over sensitive buds of flesh, making Stiles arch into him, groaning into his mouth again, hips bucking hard against his. Derek couldn't take the distance any more, and he lowered himself down on top of Stiles fully, bringing their hips together with a lusty growl at the feel of the rock hard length pressed agianst him.

Stiles whimpered and ground against him, almost desperately, struggling against the hand holding his wrists, wanting to touch Derek as he was touching him. Derek pulled back, their tongues sliding apart, lips seperating, and it almost killed him to do so. He looked down into lust darkened eyes. Stiles stared back at him, glaring his disappointment at the distance between their mouths. Then he seemed to understand what Derek wanted, and he broke his gaze away, stopping his struggles and submitting to Derek's hold. Derek rewarded his submission by releasing his wrists. Stiles let out a hungry little noise and immeditaley plunged his hands into the waistband of Derek's jeans. Derek couldn't hold back the needy groan that escaped as those hands groped for his cock. He lowered his head to the pale arch of neck, nuzzling against it as hands explored, nudging his nose against a clenched jaw before placing a kiss there. Stiles understood once more what Derek wanted, and he tilted his head back, baring his throat with a breathy sigh.

The long column of bared throat, the mostly naked and heaving chest, the tent in his jeans and the faintly glowing eyes, the feel of hands groping under Derek's jeans...all of it coalesced into an insatiable desire to possess and own and mark, making him go crazy. He rained nipping little bites all over Stiles' throat and collarbone and jaw and what he could get to of his shoulders. Damn shirt was in the way. He tugged on it, but it was impossible to remove from the position Stiles was in, pinned firmly underneath Derek's larger body, and he was not going to relase Stiles for even an instant, even as long as it would take to remove the offensive piece of clothing. But he wanted it gone. So he ripped it, growling as he did so, tearing it open down the front, then tearing each sleeve open as well. Now it was nothing but a piece of shredded fabric between Stiles and the blanket underneath him. Nothing between Derek's possessive mouth and all that glorious heated skin and muscle. Stiles gasped at the abruptness of it, looking up at Derek with wide, shocked, doe-like eyes.

Then he laughed. A glorious wild laugh that sounded almost victorious, and he arched his body up toward Derek again, pulling against the older guy's belt loops to bring him even closer, pressing their hard chests together and hissing at the pleasure the contact brought him. Derek lowered his mouth to Stiles' once more, taking and possesing, nipping and licking at his lips as he writhed with impatience underneath him. Then he separated their mouths again and nipped his jaw. Stiles always seemd to know exactly what he wanted, and he bared his throat again, groaning desperately, his eyes fluttering closed. Derek grinned wolfishly, a fierce slash of pointed teeth, and then he lowered his head to bite at Stiles' neck. He placed a particularly rough nip against his collarbone, and Stiles whimpered, hips jerking, straining upward as if they could possibly get any closer than they already were.

Derek adjusted his legs, untangling them from Stiles', and moving so he was lying in between the slim thighs, forcing Stiles to remove his groping hands from Derek's jeans or have them crushed between their hard bodies. Their cocks slid against each other and they both groaned at the maddening sensation. But Stiles needed more. He thrust up against his alpha, grinding their hips together, seeking the friction he desperately craved. Hands clutched at Derek's bare back, nails digging into muscle and leaving marks on his flesh. Derek loved the pricks of pain, and he nipped harder at Stiles' skin in response, then latched his mouth onto the junction between neck and shoulder, biting hard, making Stiles hiss in pain and pleasure. He started to suck, drawing blood to the surface, biting and marking him. It was the first time he had ever done that, marked him like that. If Stiles had the ability to process a single thought in his head, he would have seen it as another victory.

Their hips thrust together rhythmically, and all Stiles could think of besides how good it felt was how muchbetterit would feel if their jeans weren't in the way. But he couldn't make himself push Derek away, not even far enough to reach the buttons and zippers, not with the way he was gnawing on his neck like that, alternating between biting and licking and sucking. It was driving him wild, and all he could do was toss his head and whimper and groan and thrust back against Derek like some mindless slut. Which is exactly what he felt like.

Then Derek was takeing his mouth away from his neck, and Stiles growled a protest, until he started making a trail of little nibbles and licks and kisses over his collarbone, down his chest, nipping each nipple roughly, squeezing them between his lips and teeth hard until Stiles was fisting his hands in silky black hair and whimpering at the painful pleasure. He left a trail of rough bites, red marks, moving very slowly down the straining body, soothing the harder nips with a lave of his silky hot tongue.

He reached Stiles abdomen and nibbled at each muscle, dipping his tongue into the teen's bellybutton. And it felt amazing, but Stiles missed the friction against his cock. He raised up on his elbows, angling his head to look down his body at Derek. As soon as their glowing eyes locked, a fierce primal smile twisted Derek's lips, and he laughed in a dark way that promised so much pleasure that Stiles prayed he could handle it. That expression, the sound of that laugh, was the sexiest thing Stiles had ever experienced in his whole goddamn life. He couldn't breath, just from looking at him. He raised his head higher to look his fill. And that was when Derek slid his hand up a denim-covered thigh to cup Stiles hard cock through his jeans. He rubbed his palm roughly against the bulge, squeezing until Stiles whimpered.

His arms wouldn't hold him up anymore, and he groaned and fell back onto the blanket, eyes squeezing closed for a moment. Then he remembered that he wanted to watch, wanted to see everything, and he lifted his head off the ground as much as he could to see his Alpha, crouched above him. Derek kept rubbing him though his jeans, a teasing pressure that just made Stiles crave more. He used his mouth and teeth to pop open the button and pull down the zipper, his free hand making quick work of his own fly. When he removed his hand, Stiles groaned at the loss, and at the anticipation of what was coming next. And then Derek's mouth was pressing against him through the thin fabric of his boxers, his jeans wide open in a V as his straining cock tried to escape... and all coherent thought took a flying leap out the window once more.

He mouthed Stiles' cock, but didn't release it from the prison of the fabric it was trapped in, not yet. He was content with teasing him through the material until Stiles was a breathless mindless begging mess. It didn't take long. Only then did Derek curl his fingers into the waistband of the jeans and undewear and begin to pull the last bit of clothing slowly over slim hips.

As the clothing bypassed his pelvis, Derek froze. Stiles groaned in protest and growled at him to stop teasing. When he got no reply, no movement, he got a little anxious and opened his eyes. Derek was tense, face serious, head cocked to the side as if listening to something. So Stiles tried to listen, too. It was just really fucking hard with Derek's fingers buried under his boxers, the tips of them almost brushing against his aching cock. So, so close.

Then Derek was pulling away, rising to his feet and re-doing his fly. Stiles frowned.What the fuck? He's doing this NOW?After he had already let it go so far? He sat up and was about to recklessly go off on the Alpha, start cursing him out,something...but Derek held up a hand to silence him, head still cocked to the side, and Stiles had enough sense back now to know that look on his face wasn't a good thing. He was hearing something, and Stiles didn't know what it was because there was so much blood rushing in his ears he couldn't hear anything but the pounding of both their hearts.

11/21/2011 #3
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