JackSparrow'sBiggestFan
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Joined 03-26-06, id: 1015624
Author has written 1 story for My Life as a Teenage Robot.

Age- 15
Favorite Colors- black, red, silver, purple, pink, orange, blue
Music- Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Rascal Flatts, Yellowcard, My Chemical Romance, Relient K
TV Shows- Law and Order SVU, Friends (I worship Chandler. Our personalities our exactly the same), Will and Grace, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, So You Think You Can Dance, ER
Movies- Pirates of the Caribbean, RENT, The Breakfast Club, Fever Pitch, X-Men, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban


The Big Debate...Couplings
RENT- MarkMimi, MarkJoanne, AngelCollins
Breakfast Club- AndyAllison
Harry Potter- HermioneRon, DracoGinny, DracoHermione, HarryGinny
Pirates of the Caribbean- JackElizabeth (after seeing Dead Man's Chest, I love this!)
Law and Order SVU- OliviaElliot, AlexFin
Friends- RachelRoss, ChandlerMonica, JoeyPhoebe (Can't picture it? Visit http://www.geocities.com/joepheebs/)
My Favorite Quotes from...

Family Guy

Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.) I woke several hours later in a daze."

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again!
Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.

Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
(Lois and Peter stare in silence)
Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts.
(Peter and Lois keep staring)
Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)
Peter: Who was that guy?

Peter: (Walks out of the bathroom and wanders into another room. He walks into the room and walks behind the bed. We find out that this is Chris' room.) Hey, you still awake, Lois honey? (Peter lays down into Chris' bed.)
Chris: Dad?
Peter: That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah...now feel my warm breath on the nape of your neck. My hands on your big soft boobs...running down your big man-like chest. (Peter jumps up.) Holy crap, It's Chris! Uhh...Uhh...So, uhh...How ya doin'? You do all your homework?
Chris: (nods his head.)
Peter: Finish all your subjects?
Chris: Yes, sir.
Peter: Good, just uhh, just checkin'. (Backs towards the door.) Have a good night son. (Walks down the hall.)
Peter: You still awake honey?
Stewie: What the deuce?

Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."


Law and Order SVU

Police Psychiatrist: We still have 45 minutes.
John Munch: Well, I could give you a complete detailed account of my sex life... but what are we going to do with the other 44 minutes?

Fin Tutuola: You have the right to an attorney and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill ya.

Detective Odafin 'Fin' Tutuola: Why do we always get stuck looking for the needle in the haystack?
Det. John Munch: Yeah, it's reminds me of the Easter egg hunts of my youth.
Detective Odafin 'Fin' Tutuola: Your family's Jewish, you guys don't hide eggs.
Det. John Munch: I know, all those mindless hours of searching.

Olivia: He smells expensive.
Cragen: 'Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to smell the defendant.'


Friends

Joey: I'm saying I see a difference.
Chandler: They're twins!
Joey: I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's ... hot!

Joey: Hey Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Phoebe: Absolutely.
Joey: I'll see you at 8.
Phoebe: Okay (Joey exits)
Chandler: So, what's at 8?
Phoebe: Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.

Chandler: 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm going to be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you.'

Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.

Janice: You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Janice: Well yeah!
Ross: OH…MY…GOD!

Ross: Alright. Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller.

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Nightmare by blindingdarkness15 reviews
Olivia is trapped in an abusive relationship. If she tries to get away, she'll lose her son. So she keeps it quiet. But clues are beginning to attract the eyes of her partner Elliot, and he's worried. EO COMPLETE
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,874 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 9/7/2007 - Published: 10/9/2005 - Complete
A Caged Swann by Vee017 reviews
Will left Elizabeth for the high seas and now she's being forced to choose a suitor to marry. A man that will see her as nothing but a trophy, but one seems different...and somehow familiar...Sparrabeth [AU PotC 1]
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 35,063 - Reviews: 487 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 12/23/2006 - Published: 3/18/2004 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S. - Complete
In This Life by Eyes-of-Pearl reviews
Complete! Original Reela. Crossover with A Walk to Remember. Landon Rollins Carter hoped to start anew, as Dr. Ray Landon Barnett of County General. Neela thought that she had the perfect life until death comes calling and everything changed.
Crossover - ER & A Walk to Remember - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 44,464 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 7/16/2006 - Published: 11/28/2005 - Ray B. - Complete
From the Main Mast by Chewing Gum reviews
DMC spoilers: Elizabeth and the captain of the Black Pearl have a talk about a rather serious matter. Miss Swann realizes something that she never wanted to realize. JackElizabeth
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,404 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/16/2006 - Complete
The Kiss by Lost and Found Puppy reviews
It was worth it. Bugger, was it worth it. JackElizabeth, shortshort
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/15/2006 - Published: 7/8/2006 - Complete
Maddened and Maddening by She's a Star reviews
They have been on this island for two hours and sixteen minutes, and Elizabeth has decided that she will die here. Set during CotBP.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/13/2006 - Elizabeth S., Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Swann Dive by HasFar2Go reviews
Elizabeth dove before Will could stop her. Gibbs managed to grit out “Calm down, boy!” as the blacksmith tried to follow her over. He fought back. “For God’s sake, she doesn’t know how to swim!” he screamed. DMC Spoilers. JE
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,278 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/11/2006 - Complete
Freedom by screaming-poetically reviews
What Elizabeth wants has nothing at all to do with what everyone expects. JackElizabeth.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 819 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/10/2006 - Complete
Without Ever Firing A Shot by BatmansBabe reviews
A post DMC fic. Beckett gets another mark from Captain Jack Sparrow. JE
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,558 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/9/2006 - Complete
Equal Romance :02: Obscure Ways to Devotion by Ayotte reviews
The second in the Equal Romance Trilogy. When Ron falls into a coma and Kim feels she is to blame, there's only one solution: to go into his mind and rescue him. After all the two have been through, what awaits her? R&R!
Kim Possible - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 250,134 - Reviews: 592 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 6/3/2006 - Published: 5/21/2005 - Kim P., Ron S. - Complete
Choices by Erinya reviews
COMPLETE. Elizabeth Turner seeks freedom, and finds Jack. But when Will gives up his own freedom on her behalf, she must face the consequences of love, betrayal, and choices that cannot be unmade. W&E, J&E, W&OFC.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 30 - Words: 116,570 - Reviews: 500 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 4/22/2006 - Published: 8/15/2003 - Elizabeth S., Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Lovely Drunken Prat by LunaB1134 reviews
“Actually, I have no objections to your drinking,” Hermione said, while Ron looked incredulous. “It’s just that you were doing a bit of talking last night…” Ron and Harry have a bit much Butterbeer, Hermione comes down and hears something that shocks her.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,570 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/19/2006 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
If That's What It Takes by Jaenelle Angelline reviews
Sometimes a brush with death is what you need to truly begin living. Sequel to 'Story of My Life'. FINISHED. EDIT 2/19/14: Song title, artist and lyrics removed from Author's Note and text to comply with content guidelines.
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,168 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/14/2006 - Published: 3/7/2006 - Complete
Cheap Wine by Lioness Black reviews
[oneshot] Mimi asks Mark about Roger's past with April, only to find out about Mark.
RENT - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,189 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Published: 2/18/2006 - Mark C., Mimi M. - Complete
Pearl by Erinya reviews
Oneshot. When a beautiful stranger shows up in the Captain's cabin, Jack finds himself falling in love for the third time. JE, but not what you think....Originally posted at Livejournal as Breathe.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,353 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/2/2005 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S. - Complete
Equal Romance :01: Tension Living by Ayotte reviews
The first in the Equal Romance Trilogy. When Kim and Ron are on a mission to foil Drakken's latest plot, a strange occurance happens and the two friends are stuck holding hands! Will it bring them closer together? Or drive them apart..? R&R
Kim Possible - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 189,758 - Reviews: 319 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 4/28/2005 - Published: 9/8/2004 - Kim P., Ron S. - Complete
Oh Those Barbados Nights by rachgreengeller reviews
An AU version of TOW in Barbados...Ross and Rachel reunite under tropical skies...Phoebe must decide David or Mike...or Joey?..COMPLETED
Friends - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 29,069 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/16/2005 - Published: 3/18/2005 - Complete
Fall to Pieces by LadyRaider reviews
AU. When Olivia leaves her husband after a fight where will it leave her relationship with Elliot? Will things change for better or worse? EO. Complete!
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 51,763 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 2/2/2005 - Published: 8/19/2004 - Complete
Forbidden Sin by Dragonslayer527 reviews
[One shot-that turned into a story[COMPLETE] It started off as a fight between Robin and Raven. It lead to seducing a half-demon whom Slade has drained of her powers. RaeRob, lil SFBB
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 34,231 - Reviews: 335 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 11/23/2004 - Published: 7/28/2004 - Raven, Robin - Complete
Accidents Happen by Phoebejoeyfan reviews
A Fatal accdent threatens to tear apart the lives of the 6 friends pj pr rr mc r&r plz :o)
Friends - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,674 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/28/2004 - Published: 5/20/2004
I was born to love you by Phoebejoeyfan reviews
Fairytale love affairs didn’t exist in realty, and especially not while living on the streets…or did they? PJ, JR, RR, MC Chapter 3 up
Friends - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,997 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/5/2004 - Published: 5/18/2004
Boxing Lies by Dragonslayer527 reviews
Danny upon finding these feelings for Sam has been lying, a lot. Now Sam is stuck quickly running out of air and Danny must tell her the truth, the complete truth to save her. [One shot]
Danny Phantom - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,259 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/22/2004 - Complete
Tears by CBIzumi reviews
A little one-shot thing I did, relating to "Blush."
Kim Possible - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 477 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/16/2004 - Complete
Right In Front Of Me by Helga Von Nutwimple reviews
When Ross returns from China with Julie, Rachel does something -- and someone -- unexpected. Warning: Strong sexual themes, strong language, and constant nicotine abuse.
Friends - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 39,887 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 2/6/2004 - Published: 11/18/2003
Sick Day by Katherine Tripp reviews
Chandler Gets sick........
Friends - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,483 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/5/2003
The One With The Eighties by Helga Von Nutwimple reviews
Janice's questions about the group's origins reveal a surprising history between Phoebe and Chandler.
Friends - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,470 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/16/2003 - Published: 1/23/2003
When We Dance by SFGrl reviews
Chandler goes missing...and it's a race against time to save him! Read & Review! {Complete}
Friends - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,792 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 27 - Updated: 8/27/2003 - Published: 5/8/2003 - Complete
Things Change reviews
Jenny has always struggled with fitting in. But she's given the chance to be human and fits in, not knowing that someone loved her better before. But after a trick from Vexus, she has to make a decision...being human or her best friend's life. JB
My Life as a Teenage Robot - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,310 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/29/2006
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Community: Forbidden Sin
Focus: Movies Pirates of the Caribbean