Author has written 2 stories for SpongeBob SquarePants.
A middle aged man with a life story to share.
My son, Jordan, was born in 2004. I'm on his email while he is at school. This is all I have when I'm alone; I hope to recreate the dreams of my late wife Kimberley, who loved to write poetry and share it with her book club. I guess this is the 21st Century version of that.
Why am I on FanFiction.net and not some other writing site? I married my wife May 1, 1999. After the celebration, we sat down on our couch and wanted to watch Demolition Man, the film we watched on our first date. I accidentally broke Kim's VHS, so we resorted to cable. We stayed up late to catch a rerun of a new, niche show on Nickelodeon called SpongeBob SquarePants. We'd watched other cartoons together, but the chipper sponge struck a chord with both her and me.
We survived the honeymoon phase through watching SpongeBob. Through the years, Kim and I watched the TV show and planned to have kids; if our firstborn was a girl, she would be named Sandy, and if our baby was a boy, he would be named Patrick. Unfortunately, money was stretched thin as Kim phased in and out of poor health. In 2003, as she decided, we were going to try to have a baby born around the premiere of The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. In 2004, we decided to our name baby Jordan, to keep the gender of the baby ambiguous until it was born. Luckily, Kim and I watched the movie together. A couple days later, Jordan was born, a boy. To my ultimate dismay, Kim died during childbirth; I was left alone with a newborn.
I've been a shut-in living off of life insurance and SpongeBob since Jordan was born. I've devoted my life to SpongeBob: buying merchandise, watching all premieres, and buying all seasons on DVD and iTunes. My son likes the show, but I push him to do something with his life. He is very bright, and I do not want him to fall down the same rabbit hole of obsession (at least until college).
My mid-life crisis (a.k.a. depression, a.k.a. the reason I don't have a job) has opened me up to the Internet. I just hope my style, craft, and self-aware use of Oxford commas are enough to hold your attention.