hi people that i dont kno! a little bout me:
im 18 i live in the US - sorry pedafiles not tellin u NEmore
i am of indian descent which does not mean native american - stop being ignorant! its unbecoming
im not sure what my fav color is cuz i lik so many and my preference changes almost weekly anyway
in lov with soccer and david beckham (NE1 that doesnt kno who he is NEEDS to get bitch slapped a couple hundred times)
tv shows i lik: avatar the last airbender, teen titans, justice league, smallvile, grey's anatomy, everybody hates chris, lost, family guy, american dad, the simpsons, doug, robot chicken, gilligan's island, space ghost, Venture Bros, the brak show, boondocks, futurama, buffy the vampire slayer and tons more that aren't coming to me rite now
book favs: the entire harry potter series, LOTRs, 1984, Catcher in the Rye, Huck Finn, Scarlet letter, Julius Ceasar, all of The Chronicles of Narnia, to kil a mockingbird and a buncha others that i cant remember rite now
movie favs: the harry potter series even thou theyre terribly made, all 3 LOTRs, X-Men, the new Batman movies(where hes all dark and sexy), 28 days later, deevangee, the breakfast club, gone with the wind, mrs doubtfire, titanic, patch adams, kal ho na ho, jack, i an sam, pirates, rang de basanti, sholay, mother india, laagan, gladator, shrek 1 and 2, schlinder's list, forrest gump, saving private ryan, the star wars series, back to the future (all), the princess bride, ghandhi, ET, the last samuri, little women, a beautiful mind, ice age, the queen, the devil wears prada, eight mile, the passion of the christ, the sound of music, apollo 13, black hawk down, the jurassic park series, charlie and the cholcolate factory (both new and old), moulin rouge, erin brokovich, planet of the apes(the original), king kong, ali, dances with wolves, lik every disney ever made, the incredibles, bend it like beckham if i think of NEthing else to say ill let u people kno
fav funny quotes:
"My name is Entigo Mentoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."
"Mama always said life's like a box of chocolates andyou never know what you're gonna get"
Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn’t stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first. "Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git." It would have of been very funny if the situation hadn’t been so serious. And there was more… "Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor." Harry’s eyes closed in horror. When he opened them, the map had ad its last word. Mr. Wormtail bids professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
k now i haf the best convo ever so here it is (it contains language and sexual situations so if ur not cool with that dont read it) = im the one in italics :
somebody's gottaa whoooole lotta time on their hands...
I wonder who that could be:P Could it be the muffin man?
where the helld that come from?!
I hear the muffin man has plenty of time on his hands. So much time in fact, that he makes pretzels and cakes as well as muffins. This man is a genius:D
i bet the muffin man does whole wedding receptions and makes the huge towering cake with shit loads of icing of on
Oh sure! The muffin man does that all of the time! I heard he even makes apple pies. Hee Hee I like his preztels and bagels though:)
with cream cheese or butter?
The muffin man likes peanut butter and jelly with his bagels. But cream cheese and butter are available to non-muffin people like us. :) (Or are we all muffin people in reality?) O.o
well idk bout u but im a mufin and bagel person
indeed. however i would say that i am a bagel, muffin, poptart, biscuit and kind of person. :)
can somebody plez explain to me howwe ended up on such a funny tangent
It has something to do with randomness:D
Like I could say, "Good day to you. HOW ARE THE FISH NETS? and it wouldnt make any sense. But, i would never ask that. So how are the fish nets? .
theyre full of holes...
what about peanut butter goldfish?
ive heard theyre good...
ahhh i wouldnt worry bout it
Hmm...humans vs goldfish.
Their weapons would be...cheese...mmm cheese xD
but the problem is theyre fish!
Gasp You're right! We must stock up on drinks
it'll be WWIII fish style!
The japanese and german fish might be a problem.
we can inlist the sharks and killer whales!
A splendid idea indeed!
i hear they taste lik chicken...
oooh, I would love to try buffalo style
i heard A1 steak sauce goes great with this
I just had A1 steak sauce on my dinner! It goes
dude thats so gross...
Wow, I didnt know people still felt so strongly
sure go ahead eat flipper...
Nah, Flipper is too cute to eat:D
Anything is possible .
just one thing
Good idea, but I will also have to throw in some
didnt we kill them?
No, they have taken our fries, toast, and vanilla
dont 4get the other but less significant forces of
That sounds like something the nazifish might do!
and eistein invented it so it must be good!!
were unstoppable now!
the fish not only have a fishler and are nazis but they also have an eistein!
WERE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED! AGAIN!
Ah, but the Nazi fish didn't want the einstein man because they thought he was wierd.
He didn't have gills and he didn't lay eggs. A very strange man indeed. Good thing he has sided with the humans. Now our army contains Albert Einstein, President George Bush, and Tom Cruise. Now, my friend, WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE:D
yes we have the power of all three!
we have big outrageous hair, a monkey, and a raving lunactic that thinks coachs are trapelines!
oh and dont 4get the sharks, killer whales, and dolphins
I would never forget them! They will be the guests of honor at the feast to celebrate the end of the war. (heeheehee) As long as we have the steak sauce companies on our side, there shall be nobody to stop us from destroying the fish. Unless, Moby Dick enters the picture! O.O
i 4got bout moby dick!
she could come and undermine our entire operation!
she must be taken out!
i kno we'll get capt ahab and some other peg-leg saiors to do it
who knows mayb blackbeard and jack sparrow(drools) will help!
and with jack sparrow and the blackpearl we'll be invincible!!
Yes! With jack sparrow, Capt Ahab, and Orlando Bloom, we shall be undefeatable!
Capt Ahab will be eaten alive by Moby Dick. But while Moby is distracted, Jack sparrow will shoot Orlando Bloom out of a cannon and Bloom will slice and dice up the beast! And then the Phantom of the opera will lead us in a celebration of Moby Dick's death. Go phantom=D
and then the opera singer he kidnapped who didnt love him will come running to him because he was part ofthe group of people that helped to get rid of moby dick
he'll take her back but being the bitch she is she'll get with orlando and jack sparrow and even Ahab had he been alive
Yes, christine is a meanie! The phantom will throw her off the ship and the party will go on!
With appearances by Neo, Peter Pan, and Batman! The party will go on for two more days until Michael Jackson arrives chasing after Peter Pan. Everyone abandons ship and goes on with their lives...until the giant ufo in the sky appeared! o.o
dont 4get batman's boytoy robin
everyone gets taken up inthe ufo and get experimented on
except batman robin michael jackson and peter pan cuz they offer something the aliens
havent seen b4
so the aliens watch as the two pairs get freaky
urgggg...sory cant go on...bad mj/pp images
SHEILD UR EYES!!
DOWN WITH THE FISHES AND CHRISTINE!!
Aha! And the aliens are so confused that they become gay as well! While they are distracted by their homosexuality, everyone escapes except for Michael Jackson who stays behind to lead the gay society:D Christine is also left behind and the women love her! Mwahahaha. :D
and then she sends the phantom a message via R2D2 saying "help me phamtom, ur my only hope"...
The phantom receives the message, looks at it, and then tosses R2D2 into the river and walks away. Fortunately, Obi-wan Kenobi (EWAN MCGREGROR OWNZZZ!!) saves R2D2 and sees the message. He gathers his friends and they head off in the spaceship heading towards the alien flying saucer that is floating in the middle of an aesteroid belt. On the spaceship are Obi-wan Kenobi, Ricky Martin, Justin Timberlake, and Jude Law. The New Backstreet boys are coming to the rescue!
Everything should go just as planned...or will it? o.O
well ricky martin will start dancing to his latin music and get so caught up in
it that he accidently pushes a buncha buttons on the ship's control panel stopping it in midair
obi wan kenobi starts using the force to create a stage where justin timberlake has the crowd of aliens distracted as he sings "My Love" causing all the aliens to be lik "who? u love me? i love u too!!"
obi then runs over and takes control of the ship cuz ricky's too preoccupied with shaking his hips and jude law doesnt kno how to do NEthing but smile sexily
obi puts the ship on autopilot and sets its course for the sun, the foursome run off the ship and into a star cruiser and fly off as the ship explodes in a firey blast behind them
once the whole affair is over jude law flashes the closing brit smile
all the while christine lay 4gotten in her prison cell
(I sent you a blank e-mail! That is because I read your reply and was cracking up and forgot to write a response. Oh well!)
So, the mighty New Backstreet boys destroy the aliens and kill Cristine. Mission failed but all is well that ends well. But suddenly, from behind them, Michael Jackson advances on them in his personal star cruiser. Jude Law smiles at this. Obi-wan gasps in terror. Justin Timberlake cries a river. Ricky Martin is livin la vida loca. What will they do next? Michael Jackson has them target-locked! O.O
well justin's tears start to build up and and the ship starts to get flooded
obi's lik "WTF DUDE?! FUCKING STOP CRYING A FUCKING RIVER!" as he takes out his light saber & attempts to evaporate some of the water
its a futile attempt though as the water has now reached waist level and justins still crying
obi keeps trying to make justin stop but with everything he tries justin just cries harder
ricky's still dancing around its just a ittle harder cz they're surrounded in water which is now up to their shoulders
michael seeing the caos in his opponents ship positions his crosshairs and aims
just then ricky in his completely oblivious dancing state once again hits a button on the control panel
the button opens the latch door and sends the river of tears that justin continues to cry directly at michael's ship taking him out
obi uses the force to shut the door
justins only sniffling now but has a pad of paper out and is writing a song bout sniffling
ricky's still dancing shaking his hips in his tight not good for his sperm count black leather pants
and jude law smiles at the second explosion in 2 minutes
Michael Jackson's wreckage drifts toward the sun. As Jude law begins to look at himself in the mirror, Justin Timberlake finishes his songwriting and starts to cry again. Obi-wan looks at him, "Oh no you didn't!" Obi wan looks at Ricky Martin. He is dancing around like a crazy person. Obi-wan presses the latch door button and ricky martin bumps his hips into Justin Timberlake sending him flying out of the ship. Obi-wan watches as Justin lands on the planet Mars. The rest of NSYNC is there waiting for him and they begin to dance! Ricky Martin sees this too and jumps out to join them! Obi-wan is amazed, "Darn dancing fools!" Obi-wan looks at Jude Law. Jude smiles at him but the shine of this teeth is too strong even for Obi-wan. Obi-wan stumbles off the ship as well. Jude law smiles at the latch door and it closes shut. Amazingly, everyone outside of the ship can breathe. Why some may ask? The world may never know. What will happen next!? o.o
obi lands on mars
justin's getting attacked by his arch enemy boy-band the baskstreet boys
ricky's still dancing
obi just sits there and watches them
justin's on the ground and has a concussion
obi lik "i wonder if he'll have brain damage?..."
he turns to ricky and is entranced by the rocking motion of ricky's hips
obi gets up and goes to ricky
obi puts his hands on ricky's hips and starts moving his hips the same way ricky's are
ricky doesnt really react he just keeps dancing but he is smiling
Does this spell a new romance for our heros?
find out in next week's issue!
judes mirror breaks due to the blinding power of his smile so he settles for a window
Justin is knocked out by the backstreet boys. His arch nemesis notice Jude's ship floating away and attempt to reach it. They reach the ship and hold on for dear life. Unfortunately, Jude is looking out the window and therefore blinds them and they fall off the ship and into a black hole named Jerry. Jude smiles at Jerry and Jerry smiles back then vanishes. Jude is shocked! How can Jerry have a better smile than him!? As Obi is dancing with Ricky, an explostion is heard. Obi looks over and sees Harry Potter. Harry is mad, "How dare you touch my Ricky!?" Obi slaps Ricky's butt and steps up to him, "Who said he is yours!" Harry replies, "I did! Didn't you hear me!?" Obi replies, "Yeah, I think so!" They engage in a lightsaber vs wand battle. Ricky continues to rotate his hips and reforms the black hole Jerry due to all the suction his hip dancing is causing. Jude stares out the window. Now it is time to prove that he has the better smile than Jerry, The black hole !
obi and harry are duking out an epic battle with obi's lightsaber tearing harry's cloak to shreds and harry gets more and more pissed off
"who told u u could touch my ricky?"
"me and my real man balls!"
"hey ive got man balls..."
"no u dont. ur just a kid with bad fashion sense and a scar on ur forehead"
"am not! im the choosen one!"
"oh no ur not! thats aniakin skywalker! ur just a wannabe!"
"who the hell is aniakin skywalker?"
"he's the REAL choosen one"
"no hes not i am!"
this continues 4 a good 20 minutes...
"HAAAAAAAAA I GOTCHA!"
"no...wait...u tricked me!"
"thats how it works kid and u just admitted that ur not the chosen one"
"where is this aniakin dude ur talking bout NEway?
"he's over at the death star fighting darth vader"
"darth vader? is that supposed to be a bad guy or something? hes got a lame name"
"darth vader is the worst villian aniakin has and prolly ever will face so hes not lame!"
"soooooo...by the worst do u mean bad lik villianous bad or bad as in the stupidest"
"BAD AS IN THE MOST VILLIANOUS!
"hes still got a lame name"
"oh yea? then whos ur mega baddie choosen one wannabe?"
"mines Lord Voldemort"
"Lord Voldemort? and u make fun of the name darth vader?"
"Hey hes exteremly evil!"
"yea mayb for a wannabe..."
"I AM NOT A WANNABE!"
"uhh huh sure ur not"
"I AM NOT! and im gonna prove it! u show me ur precious aniakin's baddie and ill show u mine. we get the two to fight eachother and then we'll c whos the wannabe is and whos the choosen one!"
"fine with me!"
hp apparates both himself and obi away
the conquest of their boytoy ricky was forgotten
meanwhile with on the starcruiser...
jude is death glaring the black hole jerry
hes been at ot 4 hrs but he cant come up with NEthing that could take out a blackhole
suddenly after hrs and hrs of thought he came up with a plan
his face split into an evil sinister grin very unbefitting of jude law
he flew the ship down to the ground and asked ricky if he could dance faster
ricky was lik sure if there was fast music
awww crap i dont haf fast music but then he thought y not ask jerry
jerry but on some really really really really really really really really really fast music and ricky swilved his hips so much it created a vaccum that sucked up jerry the blaxk hole much to judes pleasure but also created a new one
the new black hole sucked ricky and jude into it sending them god knows where
justin was still unconcious and on mars
then two ships approached one was scarlett johansen's and the other was cameran diaz's
the two started a girl bitch fight...
Obi-kenobi and Harry Potter arrive in the death star. Harry looks at him.
"So, where is this Anakin guy!?"
"Well, actually its a Luke guy. Anakin is darth vader! Ha! I tricked you again!"
"Darn you Obi-wan!"
"Look over there, wand boy!"
Harry turns and sees Luke skywalker in an epic duel with Darth Vader.
"Ha! Thats it!?"
Harry turns back to Obi wan and as he does, Luke skywalker chops off Darth Vader's head and kicks it into a trash can. He picks up the trash can with the force and throws it in another trash can.
Harry continues, "I didn't see anything special at all!"
Obi-wan scratches his beard. "Hmm...that isn't how it was supposed to happen...well anyway, you're turn Harry. Lets see what this Voldermutt guy can do!"
Harry shakes his wand. "Its Lord Voldemort! And yes, I shall kick his buttocks with my spells."
"What spell? The spell to be a nerd?"
"Argh! You stupid Shiny stick man!" They disappear off the Death Star.
Jude and Ricky wake up to find themselves surrounded by flowers! Flowers everywhere! Naturally, Ricky screams. Jude Smiles. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a yellow fuzzy thing pops out. Ricky screams again. "A FUZZY THING! EW!"
Jude smiles again. "THATS PIKACHU!" They are both shocked by its lightning attack and are knocked out. Pikachu makes a cute noise.Suddenly, a pink fluff comes to their rescue. It is Kirby!
Back on Mars, Justin looks up to see Scarlett Johanssen give a roundhouse kick to Cameron Diaz's face. Cameron pops back up with a knife and only narrowly missed Scarlett. Justins stands up and starts to cry. Both Scarlett and Cameron look over surprised.
Scarlett says, "Is he crying?"
Cameron, "Oh, yeah. Thats Justin Timberlake."
Scarlett replies, "Oh yeah thats right!"
Cameron punches Scarlett out and kicks her in the stomach. Suddenly, Justin Timberlake hits Cameron with a flying karate kick. Justin stands above the two women in victory. His victory is shortlived however as a new opponent joins the fray. Standing behind Justin with a sword in his hand is none other than...ZORO! Antonio Banderas has arrived!
(haha yea bout that aniakin/vader thing i figured out i did that lik a sec after i sent it and then i was oh whatever)
harry and obi come to voldies supposedly secret lair
where voldie and all the death eaters are
"who are the KKK dudes?"
"oh they're death eaters, voldies followers"
"sooo...he has KKK wannabes as his posse?"
"THEY'RE NOT HIS POSSE! THEY'RE HIS EVIL FOLLOWERS!
"ok wand boy..."
"now watch me take him down!"
harry comes out of the shadows and yells "i will defeat u with the power of love!!"
voldie glances up from his evil plot that has been laid out on a scroll on the table, sighs, picks up his wand, and mutters advada kedavara under his breath
harry dies and voldie goes back to his latest evil plot
meanwhile obi who is still in the shadows goes "awww crap he was my ride..."
kirby takes ricky and jude to ash and friends
"who are they kirbi?"
"kirbi kirbi kirbi"
"they fell from the sky! they must b evil! put em in a cell."
ricky and jude wake up in time to hear ash's last sentence
"hey hey wait a minute! were not evil!" ricky said jumping to his feet
jude smiled at ash and friends
"now does that look lik the face of evil to u?" ricky said but ash was unconvinced
"put em in the cell!"
big huge pokemon came and grabbed ricky and jude
"hey ass let em go!" one of ash's friends said
"MY NAMES ASS NOT ASH! wait... I MEAN ASH NOT ASS!"
"whatever man ur name's offically ass now"
...some time later as ricky and jude follow the two speakers with their eyes...
"oh who cares! just put em in the cell!"
zoro is lik "WTF justin!"
justins lik "they were annoying"
"yea most women r"
"how do u kno? is urs?"
"oh yea majorly"
a huge portal opens and out comes zena the warrior princess
"what did u just say bout me!?"
"oh crap..." zoro
"man ur so dead" justin
"did u just say that i am annoying!?"
"ummmm..." zoro as he back away
"well did u?" zena yells advancing with her sword at hand
"id run if i were u" justin
"yea that sounds lik a good plan" zoro as he runs away with zena chasing him
another portal opens and this time wonder woman steps out
"hey! zoros mine!"
"wooooohoooo yea playa!! good job zoro!" justin
zena and wonder woman face off until another portal opens and out comes superman
hes lik "but...wonder woman... baby... i thought u loved me?"
b4 she could even answer another portal opened and batman came out
"no! she loves me!"
b4 Ne1 could say NEthing yet another portal opened and out came robin
"but batman i thoughti was boytoy!
So, theres Obi-wan is standing in the shadows. One of the death eaters looks in his direction but doesnt see him. Obi notices a death eater coming down the hallway so he ducks into the hallway, stabs him in the heart, and takes his clothes. Obi walks down the hallway and through the building dressed as a death eater. He gets multiple compliments from other death eaters on how evil he looks. Obi nods to them and says, "It must be the new evil diet that I am on." He enters a large room with two doors. One says exit and one says Hey,why not try this door? Obi is quite confused so he takes the second choice. He opens the door and is sucked into a portal. He is travelling through a dark tunnel, and he can hardly believe what he sees when he gets there...
Jude and Ricky are thrown into a medium sized cage by a big huge pokemon that happens to be Snorlax. As soon as they are locked up, Snorlax falls asleep. Jude smiles at the giant pokemon. Ricky looks behind him and sees another figure in the cage. It is Tom Cruise! Ricky laughs and Tom laughs as well. Jude turns around, smiles, and then laughs too. The trio laughs continuously for no reason until Ash comes over to the cage. "Darn celebrities! You think you own the world!"
Tom gets up and jumps around. "You can't catch me! I'm the ginger bread man!
Ash looks at Jude and Ricky. "That is why he has been locked up here for two years."
Kirby and Pikachu approach the cell as well.
Ricky screams. "That is the fuzzy thing that shocked us!"
Pikachu makes a cute noise. "Pika pika Piiii!"
Tom points at it. "It is mocking me again!"
Jude smiles at kirby.
Kirby smiles back. "Kirby Kirby Kirby. Hi!!"
Jude takes out a comb and combs his hair. "Yeah, whatever!"
Kirby puffs up and inhales, sucking the cage inside its mouth with our trio inside of it.
Kirby burps and out pops Tom, Ricky, and Jude.
Kirby burps again and out comes a pair of underwear.
Everyone is silent...
Back on the planet Mars, a lovers gathering has begun. Justin, the only free man right now, backs a way from the rest of the people. Britney Spears pops out of another portal though and grabs him by the collar. "Hi there, Justin! Mwhahahaha!"
K-Fed pops out of another portal. "Hey Britney, I see you found Justin. I myself have been too busy with my hustlin. I been riding around looking for a sign. But, baby you really blow my mind."
Britney blushes. "Aw, K-Fed thats so sweet."
K-Fed laughs. "I was talking to Justin."
Zoro stabs Britney as he runs by for no reason. Zena slices off Wonder woman's lasso hand. Superman freezes Zena with his Ice Breath.
Batman shatters the frozen Zena with a batarang and then faces off with Superman.
Robin grabs on to Batman's leg and Batman tries to shake him off. While he is distracted, Superboy pops out of a portal and kicks Robin in his butt. "That's for leaving me, bucko!"
obi sees a buncha hobbit holes
but instead of seeing bilbo baggins
out comes gandof the wizard
"hey u wanna go on a quest?" gandof
"no not really, i wanna kno where i am" obi
"so yes on the quest then?"
"no. its a no on the quest at leastt till i kno where i am"
"alrite. u will b accompanied by frodo, sam, mery, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, and pippin"
"I DONT CARE WHO'S GOING ON THE QUEST WITH ME CUZ IM NOT GOING!"
"ok then heres ur traveling cloak, map, and all powerful ring"
"U STUPID OLD...did u say all powerful ring?"
"i think ill go on that quest u mentioned eariler"
"ok well u have everything u need. u should b on ur way then"
as gandof pushed obi towards his comrades he said "oh and theres one more thing. along with the ring being all powerful and the one ring to rule them all, its also a cursed, evil ring that will make all sorts of evil things come after u and u haf to destroy it over a very active volcano b4 the evil things can get it while trying to fight the force of the ring urself and any semi-evil sorta hobbitish things u meet along the way"
obi starts saying WTF but is pulled away by sam and frodo
tom starts yelling bout how in love with kirby he is
and then about scientology and how he and kirbi should hav a silent birth
jude and rocky are lik where the helld that come from?
since britany's dead k-fed and justin start making out
batman and superman go at it
superman using his super strenght and bman using his skills
all in all bman wins cuz sman had no strategy and brains always beats brawn
robin has let go of bman's leg and is getting beaten up by superboy
robin suddenly starts fighting back first by yelled "screw u bitch!"
to which superboy goes "oh no u didnt!"
"oh yes i did"
"ur gonna wish u hadnt said that!" sboy said as he blasted robin with a eyelaser beams
robin's still got fight in him though...
Obi-wan is walking through a forest with his new buddies. Frodo, Sam, and Mery are skipping along way ahead of them. Aragorn and legolas are right in front of him. Just then, it occurs to Obi that he can run away. Nobody is looking at him! He dodges into the nearby brushel and starts running as fast as he can. Suddenly, an arrow comes flying and pins his shirt to the tree. Along comes Legolas with that charming smile of his.
"You didn't think you could escape now?
"Oh no, I didn't. That is why I ran in the first place!"
"Temper, Temper. You don't want to be alone with that ring. It is very evil."
"Right, coming from the guy who just shot an arrow at me."
Aragorn comes into the scene as well.
"Come, we must be moving. The volcano is across the next hill."
Obi is surprised. "Already? We have only walked two miles. Who called this a quest? It is more of an errand!"
"Then where is your grocery list?"
Obi-wan thinks about this. "Say what?"
Suddenly, a huge black cloaked figure emerges from the woods. Obi wan stares at it.
"Great! More creepy guys!"
Kirby smacks Tom Cruise across the face and starts making out with Pikachu. Jude smiles at this. Ricky smashes his hip into Ash and sends him flying into the sky. A sparkle in the sky appears as he flies away. Tom starts to cry. Jude tries to cheer him up and throws a stick and Tom runs after it. Tom comes back with the stick in his mouth, smiling. Ricky takes the stick and throws it off a cliff. Well, I guess everybody knows what happens next. Poor Tom Cruise, he just can't catch a break.
After Superman is defeated, Superboy looks up at batman shocked.
"YES! Thanks for taking care of that guy. I never could stand him!"
Batman salutes him. "All in a day's work."
Superboy smiles at him and continues to kick Robin the abdomen. Robin kicks him in the shin but Superboy doesn't notice it.
Batman sees this and joins Superboy in the kicking of Robin. Justin and K-fed see this and they join in as well. Suddenly, a portal opens up and out comes John Travolta.
John points to the attackers. "Stop! Thou art fiends and shall be eliminated!
John flies up and unleashes energy blasts from his hands...
the big cloaked figure starts chasing everyone
but gollum appears and leads obi and sam into saftey leaving everyone else to fend for themselves
gollum's lik "my precious"
and sam's lik "who me? i think ur precious too!"
"GOLLUM WASNT TAKING ABOUT U TUBBY!"
"but i was talking bout u!" sam said as a jumped on toppa gollum
"GET OFF ME!"
"never! ur my baby gollum!"
"gollum just wants the precious!"
"and i am the precious!"
"NO UR NOT!"
"u kno y ur my precious gollum? ur my precious cuz i luv ur eyes. the big blue things!"
"GOLLUM DOESNT-u lik my eyes?"
"of course i do they're sexy!"
the whole time obi's just lik WTF
and he backs away slowly
sam and gollum start getting freaky and obi's lik im outta here
he turns to leave but is stopped by gollum who pulls him in and makes it a threeway makeout-fest that obi cant get out of
toms dead and kirby and pikachu are making out while ricky and jude watch
jude turns to ricky and they start making out
soon everyone is making out and while everyones distracted jude and ricky get outta there by getting on a space ship and flying off...
fighting insues between bman, sboy, kfed, justin, robin, and john t
eventually though bman's lik "john t i kno ur true weakness!"
to that john t's lik gasp!!
bman takes out some envelopes, grabs john t's tongue, and makes him lick the sticky glue covered part of the envelope
john t collaspes to the ground writhering in pain
sboy opens up the portal and kicks him back and sends robin along with him
kfed and justin having nothing better to do start making out again
just then another portal opens and this time out comes mystic from the x-men
the fighting starts once again!
Obi is caught in the threesome! He struggles desperately to get free but Sam is too heavy to get off of him. Just then, Aragorn and Legolas storm in.
Everybody stops what they are doing and looks at them.
Aragorn is holding a dead turkey and Legolas is holding a pot of stuffing.
Aragorn grins. "Frodo, Mery, and Pipin died. Ha, sucks for them. At least they distracted the cloak guy. Look we got Thanksgiving dinner. I am thankful that we have three less hobbits to worry about."
Legolas looks up thoughtfully. "I am thankful that Sam isn't going to get any dinner.
Sam whines. "Aw man!"
Aragorn smiles. "How about you obi..."
Obi-wan is gone...and Golem is already chasing after him in pursuit of the ring...
Jude and Ricky are now on a spaceship heading toward nowhere in particular. Ricky dances around. "So where are we going?"
Jude smiles at this. "We must save our long lost comrades, Justin and Obi-wan."
Ricky frowns. "Will there be music."
Jude grins. "Of course."
Ricky starts singing out of nowhere. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better!"
Jude smiles at this even though he doesn't understand it. "Hmm...if my calculations are correct...we must head towards the planet of LoRdOfThErInGs."
Ricky stops dancing. "hey, how do you know that?"
Jude smiles. "ha, I didn't tell you that I have special powers?
On the panel in front of the ship, a message keeps blinking.
Get me the hell out of here. I am on planet LoRdOfThErInGs. Hurry, I got a creepy little ogre chasing me! -Obi-wan P.S. Tell Ricky to stop dancing!
Batman and Superboy face off against Mystique. All of a sudden, a portal opens and out pops the phantom making a triumphant return. Which side will he choose? The phantom jumps and sides with Mystique. Batman throws a batarang at Mystique but she ducks and fires a gun at him. Batman dodges but looks up to see that Mystique has transformed into Batman's form. Batman goes crazy and jumps off the Mars plummeting into the unknown. Mystique changes backs and looks behind her to see how the phantom is doing. Superboy fires his eye rays at the phantom but they are repelled by The phantom's dark cloak. The phantom lunges at superboy with his sword and misses by a hair. Superboy punches the ground causing a small earthquake. Justin and K-fed look up and start to run. They see a spaceship in the distance and wave at it. Through its window, they can see Ricky dancing. Just then, K-fed is frozen by Superboy's ice breath that narrowly misses the phantom. The phantom is thrown back by super boy through K-fed shattering K-fed into pieces. The phantom gets back up and rushes toward Superboy. He slashes Superboy's chest but the sword does no damage.
Superboy laughs. "You can't hurt me with that!"
The phantom pulls out a kryptonite dagger and stabs him in the neck with it. Superboy dies.
"How is that for past the point of no return...Sucka!" The phantom laughs an evil laugh.
"Gollum is sorry! Gollum only wishes to have the precious!" gollum yelled to obi as obi ran
"Fuck u bitch!" obi
gollum ran a bit more but then decided to lead obi in2 a trap
"yes yes gollum lead obi into trap, let her have what she wants, and then gollum take the precious for himself..." gollum said smiling evily to himself
sam, legolas, and aragorn are sitting around the fire they've built
legalos and aragorn are eating as sam looks on grumpily
once they're done the three just sit there around their fire
finally legalos says "now what?"
"i dunno" aragorn
"what do u mean u dont kno?! ur the next king! u haf to kno!" legalos
"NO I DONT U STUPID ELF!" aragorn
"U CALLIN ME STUPID?" legalos
"yea so what if i am?"
"O whos indesicive now?!"
"well i kno one thing im not indesicive about"
"oh yea whats that?"
"that i think ur sexy!" legalos said as he jumped on toppa aragorn
"WTF DUDE?! I WITH ARWEN NOT U U CRAZY ELF! AND BESIDES I THOUGHT U WERE WITH GIMLI!
"nah gimli left me 4 arwen ever still she expressed her undying love 4 him two weeks ago"
"she...she ...she loves him?"
"hell then im a free man. come here u sexy beast!"
aragorn and legalos get really hot and sam just sits back and watches the exteremely hot show waitiing 4 his lover to got back from chasing obi
ricky and jude head toward the planet LoRdOfThErInGs as obi's message indicated
ricky is greatly impressed by jude's supossed powers and his choice in music
and goes in2 the back room and comes out wearing a super tight speedo
he goes over to jude whos piloting the ship and starts giving him a lap dance
jude gets so distracted by the exteremly pleasing sight before his eyes that he forgets about piloting the ship as ricky and jude are distracted with eachoter the ship crashes into some random planet
the two get out and look around and find themselves on a planet where a babys head is the sun and are greeted by four multi colored things
the things introduce themselves to be tinky winky, dispy, lala, and po
dipsy, lala, and po bounce off and tinky winky starts talkng to ricky and jude "hey felllow gay guys!"
"howd u kno?"
"howd i not kno. NEway ur welcome to live with us and preferably do more than just live with us if u kno what i mean"
"soooo...ur all gay?"
"no just me but the others experiment now and then"
"soo...we can do whatever with Ne1?"
"i've got dibs on po!" ricky
"fine u haf him u want tinky winky NEway" jude
Mystique and the phantom may seem victorious but batman's still alive thanks to raven from the teen titans
"wheres the rest of the team?" batman
"well after u sent robin back thru that portal he realized his undying love 4 starfire so i think they might b making babies right about now" raven
"ewwwwwwwwww" batman squels lik a little girl
"and beastboy and cyborg figured out they shud b gay together so cy's makin bb change forms every 2 secs until he finds the one that makes him the hottest. i duno how they plan on keeping their relationship goin i mean as far as i kno cy's got nothing down there..."rae
"woh woh woh waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much information there!" bman
"sorry. so what r we gonna do now?" rae
"take Mystique and the phantom down! but b4 we do i just wanted to say raven that i think ur hot!"
"really batman cuz i just couldnt get enuff of u in this black spandex suit!"
Obi-wan is running through the forest and stops to catch his breath.
Suddenly, a huge net falls from the skies and traps him beneath it.
Obi reaches for his lightsaber but Golum has already snatched it away.
Obi tries to use the force but Golem smacks him upside the head.
Obi is mad. "Damnit, Golem! You creepy slimy bastard!"
Golem smiles and takes away Obi's ring. "Ahhh, now the precious is mine.."
"That is what you think, halfnaked man!"
Out of nowhere, an arrow comes flying in and smacks the ring away from Golem.
The ring flies in the air and is caught by a man wearing all green.
Golem and Obi-wan gasp. "Its peter pan!"
"No I am not you nitwits! I am robin hood!"
Golem and Obi look at eachother. Obi looks up confused. "Arent you supposed to be wearing red."
Golem grins and nods. "Yes, you have to have a red hood and a lunch box."
Robin Hood grits his teeth. "You insolent fool! How dare you insult me?"
Golem laughs. "Haha! Where is your grandma! Bet the big wolfie ate her, huh?"
Robin Hood smiles. "It is funny you should say that.
Golem hears a vicious growl from behind him.
There is Sam still watching Aragorn and Legolas go at it.
Sam stands up! He has had enough!
Aragorn looks over at him.
"Sit back down fool, and watch!"
Sam takes out a tripod and camera.
"I will do you one better!"
Sam starts to film them gettin it on.
Legolas looks over.
"Oooh, make sure you get a good shot of my buttocks!"
Sam grins. "Oooh my friend is gonna love this!"
Aragorn is confused. "who is your friend?"
Suddenly, speed racer drives into the campsite.
Legolas jumps up. "Oh shit! Its the speed racer!"
The speed racer smiles. "Better believe it, bitches!"
So, there is Ricky making out with Po.
Jude is about to get it on with Tinky Winky.
An explosion shakes the ground.
All the teletubbies and their new friends come out to investigate.
The power rangers have landed and they aren't happy.
The white ranger walks up to Jude, "We have come to save you from these evil creatures."
Jude smiles at this. LaLa takes out a gun and blows the white ranger away.
At this, a huge battle ensues. The black ranger pulls a pistol and shoots Po.
Ricky is like, "Noooo!" He runs out into the middle of the battle and shakes his hips around.
Now everyone is entranced by his motion. Jude smiles and the party begins.
Batman and Raven start making out. This leaves the phantom and mystique to watch on in confusion.
Justin is still mourning the death of K-fed. Mystique realizes that Justin has begun to cry a river so she slaps him.
When he looks again, she has become K-fed.
Justin is overjoyed. "Welcome back!"
K-fed/mystique frowns. "I hate you bitch, go play with yourself!"
Justin is shocked and is angry.
"Fine, I dont need you anyway!"
Justin walks off mad and begins to play with himself.
K-fed morphs back into Mystique. The phantom is sitting in the corner playing with a music box.
The phantom suddenly throws his musix box at Batman.
"You are a pedophile! Raven is like 15 or something like that!"
Batman deflects the box and stares at the phantom.
"Are you so sure?"
The phantom looks at raven and then looks away.
Mystique, anxious for another fight, walks up to the phantom.
"I am way uglier than you are...bitch."
The phantom is like, "Say what!?"
Mystique is like, "You are handsome!"
The phantom is enraged and pulls his mask off.
Everybody turns to look at him.
Mystique and Batman both flinch. Raven is attracted to him.
"He is so ugly that he is hot!"
The phantom puts his mask back on.
"Stay away girl. You are much too young for me."
"Thats not what you said last night." A mysterious voice from behind says.
The phantom turns to see Batgirl.
Batman looks at batgirl and then the phantom.
Raven scratches her head.
Mystique has seen too much so she lets it all out. "YOU ARE ALL FREAKS!"
Everyone nods. "Welcome to the club."
the wolf flies out but to everyones surprise its not some gender confused wolf
instead its professer lupin as a werewolf!
lupin comes out spitting and snarling readly to kill
he starts to beat obi and gollem up but then outta the bushes comes sirius
"lupin baby! im back from the dead!" sirius
"lupin, baby? i thought i was ur first love" peter pan
the wolf lupin stopped and said "ummm..yea...bout that..."
"U LIED 2 ME?!" robin hood
"yea he did honey, get ova it" sirius
"well technically..." lupin started
"who u callin honey bitch!" robin hood interupted
"u asshole!" sirius
the two dissolve into a bitch slap fight over lupin
obi and gollem are watching blinking a lot...
"soooo...ur gay 2?" legalos
"yup" speed racer
"with who?" aragorn
"sam here" speed racer
"yea well sams been cheating on ya" legalos
"i kno. we dont really consider it cheating NEmore it more like sleeing around 4 the heck of it" speed racer
"soooo...ur cool with it?" legalos
"ya wanna b in our sex tape then? we can do a three way as sam tapes"
"nah how bout a four way i mean that camera does hav a tripod. we can prop it up and let it do all the work while we haf all the fun"
"k that works 4 me"
everyones watching rickys hips when judes lik "sooo u guys r gay rite?"
"yea pretty much" blue ranger
"where r the yellow and pink rangers?"
"home. prolly making out with eachother" red ranger
"well then come on what the hell r we waiting for?!"
group make outs begin...
"get away from him bitch hes mine!" rae
"no way! hes soooooo mine!" bgirl
the two girls start fighting over the phantom
bmans lik "but raven! i thought we had something special!"
"fuck u bitch!" rae
the phantom meanwhile says "if only christine loved me as these two do..."
"WHAT!? WHY THE HELL R U THINKNIN BOUT HER!?" rae and bgirl
the phantom starts cowering in a corner as rae and bgirl put aside their differences and beat him up
bman ran over to rae, picked her up and pulled her away saying "fuck u bitch...fuck u bitch...i'll fuck u up btch!!"
Sirius and robin hood are exchanging bitch slaps as Obi and Gollem look on.
Obi yawns, turns to Gollem, and slaps him in the face through the net.
Gollem jumps back in pain. Obi looks at Lupin and waves at him. "You want to free me..."
Lupin the wolf sighs and walks to the net that Obi is trapped in.
Lupin looks at Obi. "Look mister, I hate to break it to you but...that mind shit don't work. People only do what you say because they feel sorry for you."
Obi frowns. "Really? Then...don't free me." He waves his hand.
Lupin shrugs and cuts open the net with his claws. "I am way too nice."
Robin hood gives Sirius a huge bitch slap and Sirius goes flying into a tree.
Gollem is still recovering as he is leaning against a tree when he sees Sirius flying towards him.
Gollem rolls his eyes. "fuck me..." He is smashed by Sirius.
Robin hood is like, "Hell no, bitch!" He looks and sees Lupin freeing Obi.
"Hey lupin, what you doing with him. Come back to me!"
Lupin the wolf changes back into his human form. He runs into Robin's arms.
Obi watches on and turns around. There is silence. Then Obi says..."I Need to get the hell out of here, right now!"
Speed racer, Sam, Legolas, and Aragorn are getting jiggy with it when they hear Obi's shout in the distance.
Speed racer gets up. "Did you hear that!?"
The other three are still gettin it on.
Speed racer scratches his head.
He hops back in and the fun goes on.
Just as Ricky was making out with the blue ranger and Jude was gettin hot with the red ranger, a strange thing happened.
Time just stopped.
Ricky looked at the blue ranger but he wasn't moving.
Jude smiled at the red ranger but there was no reaction.
Ricky jumps up and down. "What is going on!?"
Jude thinks and smiles. "I dont know!"
Suddenly, everything around them disappears and they find themselves in a white room.
A man in sunglasses and a trenchcoat enters the white room through a door. It is Neo.
"Everything that you have just seen was not real. You two are the chosen ones to defeat the new machines attacking our real world. The new machines go by the name...the toasters. You two have passed the test. Your intense level of gayness is the ultimate weapon against the toasters. This is your destiny."
Ricky runs out of the room ready to defeat the machines with his gayness.
Jude smiles at Neo. Neo throws some pills at Jude all in different colors.
Neo shrugs. "I don't know which one you're supposed to take. To tell you the truth, I dont think it matters."
Batman takes Raven and starts to give her a spanking. Batgirl continues to beat on the phantom until Mystique comes and delivers a high velocity kick to her head.
The phantom looks up and around. "damnit, you women are crazy!"
Mystique glares at him. "What did you say?"
The phantom flinches. "Oh, hehehe, I said that whenever you come in, you drive me crazy."
Mystique, "Aw how sweet."
The phantom, sensing a way out, continues, "yes, the blue skin, is quite creepy."
Mystique blushes, "You dont say..."
The phantom really wants to get out of here. Just then, he gets a great idea. He pulls out his phantom cell phone and calls a good friend of his.
David Beckham arrives in a spaceship with an american flag on it.
Batman looks up and raises an eyebrow. "Aren't you british, man?"
Beckham grins, "That is true but those americans pay a lot better! haha."
Raven jumps away from Batman, batgirl recovers, and Mystique looks away from the phantom.
Beckham is surrounded by three crazy fangirls.
Beckham looks over to the Phantom. "I thought you said I was coming for a photograph session!"
The phantom pulls out his phantom camera. "Oh, you have, my friend. So, who wants a picture with david
obi runs and runs and runs which he has been doing a lot of but nevertheless he comes to a swamp and sees a really big green guy
he follows the green guy until he sees a house that the green guy goes into
obi gets really close to the house and hears the green guy talking
"welcome to the bianual green guy convention held in scenic shrek's swamp"
"yea yea we all kno y we're here just get to it already"
"fine im getting to it. our first order of business is taking attendance"
"theres only three of us u, me, and the hulk! urghh it is so stupid!"
"shut it bb!" shrek
"no u shut it u damn orge!" beastboy
"ur making me angry and u dont wanna c me get angry" hulk
"we all ready kno what u act lik when ur angry u moron!" shrek
the hulk gets really pissed and becomes the mega hulk and is all snarling and stuff amd starts beating everyone up
bb turns into a t-rex and shrek calls puss for back up
puss is lik screw u bitch my debt to u is paid
"ok now i definately heard something" speed racer
"what r u talkin bout?" legolas
"that loud growl" speed racer
"this guys nuts" sam
"am not!" spped racer
"but he has some major nuts" sam
"oh...thank u" speed racer blushes
"will u two get back to fucking already!" legalos
"fine!" speed racer and sam
jude swallows a buncha diff pills and follows ricky outside to battle the toasters
when he gets there he sees ricky doing his pattented swingy hip motion
jude goes over, puts his hands on ricky's hips, starts moving with him, and smiles at the toasters causing them to drop like flies
suddenly ricky disappears
jude finds himsef with this old white haired dude that created the toasters
the old guy says "u haf 2 choices: 1) try to save the world or 2) try to save the love of ur life. either way ur love will die"
what will jude do?
dun dun dun
the three girls jump beckham as he tries to run
they're kissing and grabbing at whatever they can get their hands on
all the while bman's lik "but im wearing sexy black spandex"
he jumps in to try to get part of the action
the phantom started to walk away when Mystique looks up and sees him
she gets up and jumps him and when rae and bgrl c this they do the same while dragging beckman and consequently bman with them
Puss hangs up on Shrek. He is forced to face a huge beast boy t-rex and a raging Hulk.
Obi-wan notices the cell-phone in Shrek's hands and decides he has to steal it.
"If I can get that cell phone, I can call for help. But, how do I get it without being spotted...and why am I talking to myself?" Obi
Shrek hears someone talking to himself and gets angry.
"Damn it donkey! Bring the dragon so we can escape!" Shrek
Obi-wan climbs in through the window.
"Who you calling a donkey, bitch!?" Obi
Shrek throws a slimy glob of earwax at obi-wan but he misses by an inch.
Obi-wan turns on his lightsaber but is smacked into a wall by Beastboy's t-rex tail.
The hulk tackles beastboy through another wall of the house and they tumble down into the swamp.
Shrek is fuming over the huge hole in his wall when Obi-wan snatches his cell phone away with the force. Obi jumps out the window but comes face to face with none other than...Ricky martin!
Obi- "What are you doing here, dancing boy toy!?"
Grrr, Grrr, godamnit! GRRRRR!
Speed racer pops up for the third time.
"It's human! I knew it!" Speed racer
"But of course it is, silly." Sam
Speed racer jumps up and down.
"NO! There is something outside!" speed racer
Legolas and Aragorn stand up. Aragorn's eyes narrow.
"It's not human. Get dressed...its coming..." aragorn
"You don't mean...?" sam
"Thats right. Its...Barney!"
The white haired dude awaits jude's answer. His words echo around him. Either way your love will die
Jude looks up and frowns. "But I don't want to die!"
The old man raises his eyebrows. "I didnt say you would die, I said your love will die."
Jude nods. "I know that!"
The old man realizes the truth. "You...love yourself?"
Jude grins at him and the old man's eyes fill with tears.
"I understand now!" old man
The old man takes out a gun and points it at jude. "You must die!"
Time slows down as he fires the bullets. Jude bends backward avoiding all of the bullets.
Neo watches as he passes by. "Copycat..."
Jude unleashes a flying martial arts kick to the old man's head. The old man flies back into an electical panel and dies by electrocution.
Jude takes out a pair of sunglasses and puts them on.
"Time to save the world. Who is up first?"
Suddenly, an unexpected enemy appears before him, wearing a tutu. Who could it be?
Raven and batgirl are all over Beckham as Batman tries to get in on the action. The phantom has been tied up with his own rope and mystique is having her way with him. Just like it seems all hope is lost for our heroes, something amazing happens. The planet mars seems to blur away into nothingness as a sudden light fills the environment. Everyone looks up to see that they are sitting in the middle of a city. The city is abandoned except for a few individuals standing before them. Everyone is terrified with fear as they look into the eyes of Alvin and the chipmunks...
"after me and jude defeated the stopped the evil toasters i fell thrua trap doorand ended up here" ricky
"ok then. u wanna help me defeat the attendees of the green guy convention?" obi
with that obi and ricky jump into the fray...
"I want u to b my special friend!" barney
"we're all already taken honey" legolas
"oh...me, Baby Bop, and BJ were just looking fir some fun..."
"ohh u mean that boy dino's here?" sam
"ooooo i want him!" sam
"no i do!" aragorn
"no me!" legalos
"what im not good enuff 4 NE of u?" barney
"yea thats pretty much it" legalos. barney crosses is tiny arms and mutters darkly to himself while they fight over BJ.
"who the hell r u?" jude
"u don't recognize me?" tutu wearing person
"oh come on every1 knos whoi am!"
"urggg...im ellena from fairytopia!"
"do u kno y im here?"
"im here to make u straight again(if u ever were to begin with...)"
jude face goes fro utter and complete boredom to shock and fear...
rae, bman, sgrl, mystique, beckham, and the phantom stared at the three little chipmunks before them
suddenly the little chipmunks started singing in high pitch squeaky voices
sgrl instantly fell in love with their cute fuzzy exteriors and set to squeling lik a fangrl
the rest of the group backed away slowly
the chipmunks eyes suddenly turn red, they start snarling, and they start to attack!
Obi-wan jumps towards Beast boy who suddenly transforms into a huge green bear with razor sharp claws and teeth. Obi stops and turns to ricky,"You handle this, Ricky! I'll get that fat ogre dude!"
Ricky sighs and then grins as latin music starts playing out of nowhere. Ricky starts rotating his hips and unleashes a hip strike on The beast boy bear. Beast boy is sent back flying into the swamp and is stuck there by the thick mud. Beast boy is angry! "Damn, those hips are powerful!" He says.
Obi takes out his lightsaber and slices at Shrek. Shrek catches him by the wrist and tosses him over his head. Shrek grins, "Is that all you got!?"
The hulk grabs Shrek by his neck and tosses him far away from the swamp. Obi looks over at the Hulk and frowns. "Hey Ricky, mind doing that hip thing again!?"
There is no response.
"Hey Ricky! Are you there!?" Obi says as he turns around to see Ricky making out with beast boy in the swamp.
"AH, you gotta be kidding me! He's freaking green, man!" Obi yells as the hulk grabs him by the shoulder.
"HULK SMASH!" The hulk snarls.
"Oh boy..." obi sighs.
BJ laughs as he watches the three medieval men fighting over him.
"Don't you know I'm straight!?" BJ yells at them.
The three men look at him in awe. Even barney's jaw drops.
BJ chuckles, "I'm just joking!"
There is a sigh of relief and the fighting continues.
Suddenly, Blue and Steve arrive on the scene coming from what seems a magical rainbow.
Steve grins, "Hey kids, do you see any homosexual knights, elves, or hobbits?"
Suddenly a kid's voice is heard from somewhere, "Behind you, steve!"
Steve laughs, "I sure hope not! Haha!"
Steve turns around to see Blue getting it on with Barney.
Steve is in shock. "Um, can we cut to a commercial break!?"
Jude backs away slowly. "You're a fairy of flowers! I can tell!"
Elena gives him a smile, "Didn't your parents ever talk to you about the birds and the bees!"
Jude grins, "I taught myself!"
Elena mutters something that Jude can't hear, "Whore..."
Jude perks up, "Did you say something?"
Elena looks up acting surprised, "Oh no, I didn't."
Jude takes out his cellphone and calls his friend Ken.
"Hey Ken, yeah, uh huh. Barbies at it again, Yup. Alright." Jude says and hangs up the phone.
Elena looks at him mad, "You called Ken!"
Ken arrives in a flashy red car and says, "Lets go Barbie, come on Barbie. Ah ah ah yeah..."
Elena gives up, "You may know who I am but I have backup!"
Suddenly, Sailor moon appears from the sky in all of her brilliance.
Beckham punts a few of the chipmunks into a nearby fishing net that happens to be around.
The phantom sees this, "Wow, nice shot!"
The phantom nods to Beckham and then continues to slash the chipmunks apart with his sword.
Raven unleashes some dark magic that instantly consumes a huge group of chipmunks in darkness and kills them.
Batman throws some explosive batarangs that kill tons of chipmunks.
Supergirl cries in the corner as she watches the chipmunks being destroyed by our heroes.
A loud voice is heard in the midst of the fighting, "WHO DARES ENTER MY LAND!?"
Everyone looks up to see George Clooney sneering down at them.
There is awkward silence...
the hulk picks up obi and throws him into a tree
obi lands and kinda sits there hoping that he can play dead and that the hulk will just go away
the hulk meanwhile loves the way obi looks when hes defenseless and scoops him up and takes him into shreks house again...
the three medival dudes continue to fight over BJ
"bao bao bao!" blue
"u think im hot?! finally!!" barney
barney and blue start getting freaky and steves like "could we plez cut to commercial now?!"
"sailor moon, phhffft i have buffy!" jude says as buffy pops in
"WTF? Where am i? and y is there an animate barbie doll over there?" buffy
"uhhhh...who cares shes a vampire!" jude
"a vampire!? SHE MUST DIE!" buffy says as she gets her weapons out
"WTF? im not a vampire!" barbie
"yes u r! just look at that perfect body only a vamp could have that bod!" jude
"SHE MUST DIE!" buffy
"but u haf a great bod too slayer so if im a vamp so r u!" barbie
"she has a point..."ken
"shut it ken!" jude
"u dont love me NEmore!!" ken wailed as he ran crying
"i never loved u! though i do admit u haf a great bod..."jude
"SHE MUST DIE!!" buffy
"y don't u stop yelling and actually do something bout it?" jude
samuel l jackson suddenly appears and starts yelling "IM SO SICK OF THESE GODDAMN SNAKES ON A PLANE!"
"where the helld u come from? you're not even on a plane" jude...
"why r u here?" george clooney
"uhhhh...cuz we were chased in by crazy chipmunks" bman
"they were not crazy! they were cute!" sgrl
"they sooo were crazy!" phantom
on and on and on and on and on...
"shut up both of u! ur giving me a headache!" rae
"hey weres that clowny guy?" sgrl
"its clooney" bman
"i think we killed him...hes not breathing..." phantom
"oh well...so whats everyone wanna do now?" bman
Obi is carried away into Shrek's house. The hulk puts him down and walks into another room.
Obi dashes for the door but its locked. Obi's freaking out when the Hulk walks in wearing
lady's underwear. The hulk slowly approaches Obi.
"If only I could open this door with my mind." Obi thinks. He then slaps himself.
The hulk stops, he is confused. "Why you slapping yourself?"
Obi replies quickly. "Why are you green!?"
The hulk closes his eyes and ponders this as Obi flings the door open with the Force.
Steve is watching in horror as all of the characters around get hot with eachother. people are calling and complaining about the program that is being shown through out the world. Steve's cellphone rings so he picks it up. He listens and then lets the phone fall from his hands.
Legolas looks up from BJ and sees Steve's sad face.
"What's up Steve? They cancel your show?" legolas asks
"No...they...they fired me!" Steve cries.
Aragorn scratches his head. "Then who are they hiring in your place?"
Steve sighs and looks down at the ground. "Prince. Or the artist formely known as prince. Or whatever the hell his name is."
Barney laughs. "I guess its a different kind of program now that we are here!"
Everyone begins to chuckle in glee besides Steve who notices that the camera is still rolling.
Samuel L Jackson is seeing things no one else sees.
"God damn it! Whats with these damn snakes on this friggin plane!"
Everyone watches as he unleashes profanities at invisible snaks on an invisible plane.
Jackson grabs Sailor moon and chains her to a tree. He then continues his search for the damn snakes.
Jude smiles at this. "Ha! You got no backup now, barbie!"
Barbie grins. "Thats what you think.."
As soon as Batman finishes his sentence, a loud voice echoes over the area.
Everybody jumps. They turn around to see a man dressed in Spartan armor.
The phantom rubs his chin. "That guy looks familiar..."
Supergirl waves at the man and smiles. "Hi! Who the hell are you anyway?"
The spartan raises his spear in the air. "I AM KING LEONIDAS!"
Batman covers his ears to protect himself from the tremendous shouting. He then looks up smirking. "Now thats a cool name!" Batman says
Leonidas skids down the cliff he is standing on and steps alongside the group.
He yells to the group. "THE PERSIAN ARMY IS DESCENDING UPON US!"
Raven flinches at the sound of his voice. "The who?" She asks.
Everyone looks up to see an army but even Leonidas is surprised by the sight.
It is not an army of Persians but an army of bunny rabbits with spears.
Leonidas yells anyway, "TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!"
The phantom cringes in pain at the sound of the loud shout. "Geesh, lower your voice. Hey, wait, first chipmunks now bunnies? WTF!?"
Batman nods. "Damn cute little creatures. Lets kill them."
Supergirl smiles at the bunnies. "How adorable!"
A rabbit throws a spear directly at Supergirl. Can she avoid it in time?
obi runs outside and is met with a scene of chaos and confusion
every1 is fighting ever1else even bb and ricky who apparently broke up cuz bb found ricky cheating on him with shrek
ricky and obi team up againbut as they two of them were running thru the swamp obi smashes into a big furry elephant thing
"hey elephant dude u mind moving?" obi
the elephant thing turns around and its none other than manny the mammoth along with sid the sloth and diego the saber tooth tiger
"elephant dude? u calling me fat?" manny
"well u do hav fat fur..." sid
"nobody asked u!" manny
"hey u guys got NE food? im a carnivour that likes his friends too much to eat em so im hungry" diego
"hey how bout that guys hips?" manny
"u saying i got fat hips?" ricky
'this is my big chance to get my career back!' thought steve as he pulled barney and blue apart and started making out with blue
"i always new there was an offscreen romance..." BJ
"buffy!? how could u turn on us?" jude
"well she might b a vamp but shes a damn sexy one..."buffy
the two of em do a madonna/britney grammy awards kiss
"that was kinda hot..."jude
"u even lik them more than me!" ken wailed from the distance as he continued to cry over his lost love jude
sgrl catches the spear in her hand and says "they were trying to spear me in the heart because they r obviously cupid's helpers who have come to make me fall in love with cupid! No need to spear me cute little bunnies i already love cupid!!"
with that she runs into the oncoming bunny onslaught
the rest of the group just stares blinking a lot as she runs toward the killer bunnies
the bunnies look confused 4 a moment but then start savagely attacking her
once the bunnies r done they seem satisfied and hop away
the group goes up to sgrl body and rae's lik "well it was bound to happen some day..."
Manny and Ricky are staring eachother down. Sid is busy trying to pull a nut out of a tree but its not budging. Diego is looking at obi and grinning so obi can see his teeth.
"Why, what sharp, threatening, beautiful teeth you have." Obi tells Diego.
"The better to eat you with!" Diego replies.
Obi pulls out his lightsaber and turns it on.
"Lets see you try! You furry beast!" Obi yells.
The hulk runs outside of Shrek's hut and spots Obi.
"Come back to me!!" Hulk shouts to Obi.
Obi turns back towards Diego as a green hawk flies above.
"You know, that green guy has a lot more meat than I do." Obi whispers.
Diego is looking at Hulk. "You can say that again..." He says.
Obi scratches his head. "You know, that green guy has a lot more meat than I do." Obi says.
Diego smacks Obi upside the head. "I didn't mean it literally."
Obi frowns and then walks off to help Sid with the nut stuck in the tree.
Steve gets another call on the phone and picks it up. He jumps for joy.
"I get to keep my job! Wooo!" He exclaims.
"I don't think so..." A voice says from behind.
Steve spins around to see PRINCE in a wierd shiny outfit.
Steve gasps. "Its Prince! And look what he's wearing! Aluminum Foil!" He shouts
Everyone starts laughing and Prince gets angry.
"Oh yeah...well watch this."
Prince starts a dance routine and everybody is awe struck.
Legolas is stunned. "Are those moves for real!?"
Buffy and Barbie are still making out a few minutes later.
Jude looks at his watch and begins to whistle. "Well, this is awkward..." He says
Ken is pulling at his leg. "Hi, Jude! Want to make out!?"
Suddenly, a lightbulb comes on in Jude's head. "Make out? Take out! Lets take out the bad guys!" He shouts.
"But they're girls. Eww, girls..." Ken replies.
"Ah...Kill em anyway." Jude says.
Ken and Jude both pull out samurai swords. Buffy and Barbie do the same. Who will win this epic showdown?
King leonidas grows angry as he watches Supergirl's body on the ground.
"WE MUST AVENGE HER!" He yells.
Batman shrugs. "Nah, I didnt like her that much anyway."
Raven nods. "She was really annoying."
King Leonidas turns to the Phantom.
"YOU! I CHOOSE YOU!" He yells to him.
The phantom sighs. "Supergirl was...very bothersome."
King Leonidas stomps his foot onto the ground. The earth shakes and everyone is thrown off balance.
"THEN I WILL GO ALONE!" He shouts.
Everyone covers their ears. Batman looks up. "But...thats madness..."
"Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!" King leonidas yells as he charges up the hill in pursuit of the bunnies.
The phantom, Raven, and batman stand there in silence.
Raven flies up. "Oh well, nothing better to do. Lets go slaughter some bunnies." She says.
"Yeah, down with the bunnies!" everyone replies as they join King leonidas in his charge.
"hey sid why the hell r u trying a get a nut outta the tree? ur not a squirrel ur a sloth!" obi
"yea i kno but i lik nuts!"sid
" u lik nuts?" obi
"yea i lik nuts" sid
"do u lik my nuts?" obi said pulling his pants down
"no but i lik his i mean come on there huge!" sid said pointing at manny
"uve got a point there" obi said taking a look at manny
diego went ova to the hulk and was lik "hey ur hot wana make out?"
"if ur lying ull make me angry and u dont wanna c me get angry!" hulk
"oh yea i do" diego
"the moves arent real its all computer graphics" prince
"oh well ur just lame then" steve
"bouh bouh bouh!" blue
"blue says u look lik a fart in that tin foil ur wearing" steve
"it must get hot in there too" barney
"u shud kno u fake ass dinosaur" prince
"what r u taking bout? im a real dinosaur!" barney
"ur about as real as pinocoho is when hes a 'real boy' " prince
jude, ken, barbie, and buffy all had their swords out
and they ran at eachother to attack but kens sword turned into a bottle of nailpolish
ken squeled with delight and sat down to polish his fingernails
"WTF r u doing? jude
"polishing my fingernails! look the polish is pink and has glitter! u want some?" ken
"no u idiot i dont want nailpolish! now get up b4 u get us both killed!" jude
at that precise moment buffy ran over to ken at cut his head off
jude tried fighting the two girls but they cornered him and took his sword so he tried his exteremly sexy smile on them
"whats that idiot doing?" buffy
"i think hes smiling at us to try and get us to let him go cuz were weak in the knees or somecrap lik that" barbie
"does he kno were lesbains and he has no power ova us?" buffy
judes face fell and the two girls moved in to finish the job but everything got really foggy and a shadowy figure emerged...
our heros approached the legions of bunnies thinking they had the element of surprise on their side but suddenly the bunnies top allies the duckies appeared!
"oh come on! Whats this crap?"batman
"what the hell is with the armies of cute fuzzy creatures?!" raven
"haha u said they were cute" phantom said pointing and giggling at raven
raven slapped him upside the head
"ow bitch! what was that 4?" phantom
"u were being an ass" raven said matter-of-factly
the phantom bitch slaps raven
raven slaps him back
this continues for some time until...
"WE'RE WASNT TIME!" leonidas said causing the ground to shake beneath them
"godammit ur fucking loud..." batman
"WE'RE SUPPOSED TO B KILLING BUNNIES AND DUCKIES!" leonidas
"u said bunnies and duckies" phantom said laughing
raven went to slap him upside the head again but batman caught her arm and said "dont u two start again"
"I WANNA GO KILL SOME CUTE LITTLE ANIMALS!" leonidas
"cute little animals..." phantom said giggling
"thats it hes going down!" raven
as batman held raven back from clobbering the phantom leonidas was getting bored so he decided to attack on his own
the other three only noticed when they heard strange ripping sounds and leonidas yelling "I DONT LIK BUNNIES AND DUCKIES OR ANY CUTE FUZZY LITTLE ANIMALS ANYMORE! THEY'RE MEAN!!"
"well i guess the end of him" batman
"finally i can take my earplugs out without the danger of permanent hearing damage!" phantom
Obi walks up to manny and pokes him in the leg. Manny doesnt notice since he is still trying to stare down Ricky. Sid is staring down at Manny's nuts. The hulk turned back into Bruce Banner...and Diego is having some dinner.
"Ah well, it was either making out or eating...and I am hungry!" Diegos growls.
Obi tries to think of a way to get everyone's attention. His problem is solved for him. Suddenly, Bambi appears from the forest.
"The hunters are coming! The hunters are coming!" He shouts.
Ricky pulls out a rifle and aims at Bambi.
"Nooo!" Bambi screams.
Barney begins to strangle Prince as kids around the world watch on in terror.
Steve is shouting. "No! You're going to get the show cancelled! Think Of The Children!"
Barney stops for a moment and then delivers a roundhouse kick to Steve.
Blue rushes to Steve's defense and bites Barney's head. Prince takes this opportunity to start singing some high pitched notes into Barney's ear. The three "real warriors" are still getting it on with BJ. Will anyone come to Barney's aid!?
"Do not approach the boy!" The mysterious figure said.
Barbie is shocked. "I know that voice!"
Buffy screams. "It can't be!"
Jude Law grins, "ITS HIM!"
The fog clears and the man is in clear view. ITS BILL CLINTON!
"Its time I tought you ladies some respect!" The former President shouts!
Barbie and Buffy don't move. "Oh crap! Call monica lewinsky!"
"Im so glad thats over!" Batman exclaims.
They all stand together smiling as the army of duckies and bunnies approaches.
The phantom scratches his head. "Did we forget about something?"
Raven nods. "I think so."
Batman jumps up. "Thats right! I forgot to tape the show So you think you can dance!?
The bunnies and duckies stop. "Damn right, we think we can dance!" The cute animals begin an electric slide demonstration.
The phantom points. "Look! Hee hee, duckies and bunnies dancing!"
Raven glares at the phantom. "Oh, no you didnt."
Phantom stares back. "All I said was bunnies and duckies...HEE HEE HEE!"
Raven frowns. "Batman, you'd better hold me back again...Batman?
They both turn around to see Batman breakdancing on the floor.
The phantom shrugs and starts doing his own rendition of thriller!
Raven stomps her foot on the floor. "I do not dance!"
She stomps again...and again...
The phantom looks over. "wow! look at raven's cool stomping dance!"
Raven glares at him again. "Im not dancing! And if you move your face under my foot, You would see that!"
Batman chuckles. "Oh you just got dissed, phantom!"
"dont shoot dont shoot!" bambi
"y not?" ricky
"the hunters r coming!" bambi
"yes i think weve gathered as much" manny
"y r they chasing u?" obi
"cuz theys assholes motherfucker!" bambi who was suddenly sporting more bling than he could hold and wearing really baggy pants that were belted at his knees
"what the hell happened to u? y r u suddenly gansta?" obi
"whats ur deal yo? u and ur white niggers is crampin my style" bambi
"wtf? im latino" ricky
"and were animals" manny
"ur parta the white nigger force yo that the government put togather to keep the black man down!" bambi
"what the hell r u talking about?" obi
"fuck this im takin this shit to the streets yo" bambi and with that he started break dancing
"uhhhh is he having a seizure?" ricky
"yea i think so. hey manny sit on him and mayb itll go away" obi
manny sits on bambi as bambi yells "see bitches this is the kinda shit thats goin down! FIGHT THE POWER BITCHES FIGHT THE POWER!"
"urrg im confused is he gansta or a black panther? manny
steves out cold
barneys yelling about death as he tries to fight blue and prince off
"looks lik barneys gonna die soon" legolas
"mayb i shud go help him. i mean i am his friend" bj
the other three stare at him but then bj says "haaa psych! i really had u goin then didnt i? im having waay too much fun here to leave"
"ha u cant hav her shes with me!" clinton said ashe pulled monica out from behind him
"urrg are all men this stupid?" barbie
"huh what?" jude
"monicas a lesbian lik us. she only used 'americas favorite president' over there to advance her career" buffy
"monica...baby...is that true?" clinton
"hell yea its true! y the hell would i grl lik me lik a tub of lard lik u. i mean come on u can eat a whole pie in one sitting!" monica
"but...u said that was cute" clinton
"ur repulsive u moron!" monica
"oh yea well im worth twelve of u!...OH WHO AM I KIDDING? PLEZZZZZ TAKE ME BACK MONICA PLEZZZ! HILARY CANT EVEN DO A HANDJOB!" clinton
"whatevr" monica said as she kicked the sobbing clinton aside and all three grls turned to jude
suddenly all the micheal jackson haters from all his music videos showed up and surrounded the group
"MICHEAL JACKSON UR GOING DOWN!!" mj haters
"its cuz the phantom was doing the Thriller dance" raven
'im not micheal jackson" phanton
at this the members of the crowd looked to eachother but then said "GET HIM ANYWAY!"
"oh crap..." the phantom said as the he, rae, and bman took off and the mob of mj haters started chasing them
the bunnies/duckies had been trampled in all the mayhem
There was a rustle in the bushes and then the hunters emerged into view. Martha Stewart came out packing two silver glocks. "Its time to own the gangsta bitches!" She screamed.
Obi, manny, and ricky looked up at the solo hunter.
Obi raised an eyebrow. "I thought there were like three of them or somethin."
Martha Stewart smiled. "They didnt agree with my household tips..."
Manny stood up and stared at Martha. "Arent you supposed to be in jail!?"
Ricky chimed in, "Hey! That means you're a gangsta too!"
Bambi raised himself up. "Hell no, bitches. She aint no stone cold gangsta like me!"
Martha Stewart, "Thats right, I'm a classy citizen...with two loaded guns ready to blow your asses away."
Bambi cried out, "Bring it on, Ho!" Bambi pulled out a 9mm and pointed it sideways.
Obi looked around and sighed. "Some serious shit is about to go down..."
The children around the globe are silent...as Blue tears out Barney's throat...
The presidents of nation's shed a single tear... Mothers and fathers mourn in grief...
Teenagers and young adults shout with glee...
Prince upon seeing the bloodshed finds sudden inspiration and starts singing again.
BJ on seeing his friend's demise stops for a second and then continues in his "Business"
The three warriors laugh at the dead barney.
All of a sudden, a new threat arrives to take revenge for the death of barney...
Jude looks over at the sobbing former president. He then looks to the three cuddling lesbians across from him. He ponders for a while...then smiles a good ol british grin. "I have genital herpes."
The three lesbians looked at him with disgust and then began to move away. After they had disappeared, Jude laughed. "Ha! I fooled them!"
Clinton stood up and smirked. "That was the best lying I ever saw! You could give me a run for my money! Hey, why dont you come work with me? We can get Hilary into office...so I can pick up some more chicks in the white house!"
Jude rubbed his chin. "I'm British! What would the queen say!?"
Clinton laughed. "Who cares about the queen!?"
"I DO!" Both Jude and Bill spun around to see the queen of england...holding a very long sharp sword.
Bill's jaw dropped. "Aw Shit..."
Jude just grinned.
The phantom looks back as he continues to run with his companions. "Why the hell do they think I'm Wacko Jacko!? I was just doing a dance!" he complains
One of the haters yells up to him. "Look, that freak is hiding his plastic surgery. Thank God, for that! HAHAHAHA!"
Raven nodded. "Yes, their evil is quite strong. They will most certainly destroy you, phantom...ha bitch!"
Batman began to sprint. "Aw shit, I'm wearing a mask too!"
The fans' yell out. "Hey, which one is Michael now! I can't see, they're all hiding their faces!"
The phantom smiled. "Cool, now we're all probaly going to die!"
The fans reply. "KILL EM ALL!"
Raven sighs and turns around. "Fuck this! Kill the Haters!"
The fans stopped in confusion. "OH, shit. Michael Jackson's a woman now!?
"this bitch killed my mom. shes goin down!" bambi
"who cares. my quest is of greater importance" completely new guy that just came outta now where
"hey who r u?" obi
"my name is entigo mentoya. u killed my father. prepare to die" new guy
"damn obi i didnt kno u were that kinda messd up! u killed his dad!" ricky
"what! no i didnt! i dont even kno this guy!" obi
"c i told all yall that he was parta the white nigger force!" bambi
"run everybody run hes a murderer!!" sid
with that everyone started running around in circles yelling about the murderer in their midst
its elmo, big bird, snuffleufagous, and the cookie monster!
"noooooooooo! u people should b ashamed about what ur doing to early morning childrens television" big bird
prince went on singing
"did u hear something?" bj...
"u c our queen is as swarthy as a sailor i recommend surrendering now" jude
"r u kidding me? shes lik 70 i can so take her" bill
with that the two opponents squared off and started what jude anticipated would b the new fav utube video
the queen came at bill with her sword out and at the ready and bill had his fists ready to go but as they neared each other they dropped their "weapons" and instead had a "cat fight"
when the queen heard that she stopped n a strange misty look filled her eyes
she approached bill and started kissing him
"oh yea baby dont stop" bill
"i shuda seen that comin" jude
"so thats y he was sleepin with little boys, hes a chick now!" haters
"what the hell?! im not jacko!" rae
"but y r there 3 of em?' haters
"THERE R NO JACKOS HERE!!" phantom
"dont tlisten to em theyre trying to poison ur mind!!" haters
"hey the morons just gave me an idea!" rae
"what ya got? poison?" bman
"no better" rae said as she smiled a REALLY evil smile
"dude shes hot but shes scary as shit" phantom
"i kno" bman said as he and the phantom huddled together cowering in fear
"oh look theyre being gay in fronta us now!" haters
bman and th phantom looked at each other, coughed, and started to part but then looked at rae and were lik 'fuck it" and held on
rae rose up in the air and "thriller" music started playing...
"I am no murderer!" Obi cries out.
"Thats not what your momma said last night." says Bambi with a grin.
Obi frowns. "That doesn't make any sense."
Bambi smiled. "Thats not what your momma said..."
Just then Martha Stewart whipped out a rocket launcher.
"So, there are two gangsta bitches to own!? So be it!"
Two rockets are sent flying out to Bambi and Obi.
Bambi doesn't have time to move!
Luckily, Ricky jumps into to deliver a terrifying hip bash to the rocket sending it into a nearby tree.
Obi pulls out the old lightsaber and jumps toward the missle.
He soars through the air almost in slow motion ready to cut the missle in half.
Manny smacks the missle with his tusks and it goes into the same tree.
"Shit! You shouldn't have done that!" Sid exclaimed.
"Why!?" manny asked.
"Ha, I'm just fuckin with you." Sid laughed.
At that, Entigo leaped towards obi with his sword.
Prince delivers a very suggestive dance routine while bj and the others enjoy themselves.
Big bird is shaking his head. "I can't believe you guys!"
The cookie monster whispers something in Big Bird's ear.
Big bird gasps. "We can't do that!"
Elmo and snuffleufagous insist on following cookie monster's plan.
Big bird sighs. "FINE! I guess we have no choice."
They all depart. An eerie silence pours over the land.
Prince stops singing. Bj and the others look up.
A speeding suv drives up. Big bird and the others stick their hands out the windows
They're holding uzis. Elmo shrieks in delight, "DIE MUTHA FUCKAS!"
Bj pulls out a shot gun and prince pulls a magical pistol out of his pants. No really...its a gun. Aragorn, Legolas, and Sam pull out tommy guns.
The battle begins!
Jude just looked on in amazement. Then he slapped himself.
He started recording with his camera. As soon as he hit the record button,
Paris Hilton entered the picture. "You can't make this video without me!"
Jude scratched his chin. "Hmm, but you aren't even political. the title was going to be
Bills' missle crisis."
"I can do missles!" Paris cried.
Bill turned his head. "We already know you can!"
The queen snarled. "American women..."
Jude watched all this with a smile. "hee hee, hop in Paris."
All of the haters turned around. One "hater" in the back had a stereo blasting THRILLER.
"A Traitor has infiltrated our army! Kill him!" the haters yelled
They all gathered round him and beat him with sticks.
Raven laughed an evil laugh. "Mwhahaha, prepare to die, mortals!"
The haters turned around again, "SHIT, Michael jackson can fly too!?"
One hater stomped the ground. "This is why I fuckin hate him. He always does crazy shit!"
Raven unleashed a darkness cloud over the haters.
Batman and the phantom gazed up at it.
They both looked at each other as the earth started to shake.
"OHHHHH FUCK!" they both screamed.
"my name is entigo mentoya, u killed my father, prepare to die" entigo
"dude we kinda already kno ur name" ricky
"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" obi and entigo as they run towards each other
"hey who u think will win?" diego asked nudging ricky
"i dunno but ive got popcorn" ricky said
"ohhhhhhhhhhh is it buttered?" martha
and with that all except obi and entigo plopped down to munch popcorn and watch the fight
"howd aragorn, sam, n legolas get guns? theyre from the 10th century!!" big bird
"how r u not grossly obess u cookie eating freak!!" legolas
"i hav a clincal addiction!!" cookie monster
"hey man thats not cool..." said the suddenly pot smoking, van driving, sandal clad hippie big bird
"not again...he always gets lik this whenevr ne1 insults cookie monster..." elmo
"hes my friend!" big bird
"u kno hes more than that!" elmo
"what...what r u talkin bout?" big bird
"u kno exactly what im talkin bout!!" elmo
"r u insinuating something?" big bird
"ive seen both of u doin a hell of a lot more than 'hanging out' in ur nest!!" elmo
legolas, sam, n aragon couldnt believe what they were hearing...
"R U TELLING ME THAT AMERICAS FAV KIDS SHOW IS THE HOME OF SECRETLY GAY CHARACTERS??" legolas
"some of em anyway..." elmo
"I'M NOT GAY!! I JUST SPECIAL HAV NEEDS!!" big bird
"oh shut it u oversized pigeon!!" cookie monster
the "fight" for bill began
the queen and paris had somehow managed to get naked so fast that no1 had even seen it happen
n bill not wanting to miss out had joined them (unfortunately)
and as the women did unmentionable things to bill while he moaned continously, their eyes grew misty but not for him for each other
bills sexually charged moans turned into pathetic weeping as the two women recreated the scene "not another teen movie" where the old lady has her first kiss slobber and all
Rae's power sent a massive tidal wave of dark energy towards the haters
it destroyed the stereo and seemingly relieved the haters pain
"whatd u do that for??" bman
but before rae cud answer all the haters started running around screaming holding their heads in what seemed lik excruciating pain
"whatd u do?" phantom
"i made so that THILLER's stuck in their heads forever...or for as long as theyre alive..." rae
Obi-wan and entigo cross blades...unfortunately only one of them is wielding a lightsaber. Entigo becomes angry as he sees his sword split in two.
"You fiend! You have obviously used some matter of witchcraft to overcome me in the duel!" entigo cried out.
Obi-wan frowned. "Nuh uh! Its technology!"
Entigo shook his fist at him. "Not in my world, it isnt!"
Martha threw some kernels of popcorn at the two swordsman, "You call that a duel! It had no style, no class!"
Obi-wan laughed, "Oh and is an ankle monitor for house arrest any more stylish, bitch!?"
Martha took out an uzi, "You're going down, lightsaber boy!"
"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Legolas looked around. "Cookie monster and big bird are gay, right?"
Big bird shrugged, "Well, you see, I..."
Sam cut him off. "And all of us are gay..."
Elmo caught on to what they were saying, "Ah, fuck, no. Snuffelegaus, something gay is about to go down."
Snuffle gasped, "You mean..."
Elmo aimed his gun at his head, "I cannot bear to watch!"
Kids around the world cried as they watched their favorite sesame street character blow his brains out.
Snufflefaguous cried over his dead body as the rest of the group began to engage in a very homesexualy charged orgy!
Jude law looked away from the eyehole of the video camera. "Wait a sec, I don't remember this in the script!"
The queen and paris were rolling around with each other in the mud now and Bill was quite upset.
"Why doesnt anyone want any more of me?" he complained
Out of desperation, Bill turned to Jude.
"Hey, Jude. Cant you take a sad song and make it better?"
Jude was busy watching the old lady getting it on with the younger one and was shocked to find himself getting aroused.
Bill had taken enough of the ignorance of those around him. "If I cant have the queen or paris...I'll just have to settle for a male british actor!"
Jude law continued to watch the women without a care in the world as bill charged at him swallowing viagra pills as he ran.
As soon as raven had said, "as long as they're alive." the haters all turned and starting heading for a nearby cliff.
"Oh my fuckin god! There is gonna be a mass suicide of MJ haters!" batman yelled out.
Raven glared at him. "Um...and your point is?"
The phantom rubbed the back of his neck, "Eww, this is going to be nasty. Do we have to watch?"
Raven laughed, "I sure as hell am."
After all the haters fell to their death, it was silent for a while.
"Shit, what do we do now..?" Batman asked hopelessly
A lone individual ran up to the trio. "Hi, sorry I'm late. I'm here for the michael jackson hate group. Did I miss much?"
"bring it on u mediocre houseware designer!!" obi
"oh no u didnt" martha said rolling her neck
"oh yes i did" obi said rolling his neck back at her
"ooooooooooo its on!!" ricky
"what? whats on? is it a new tv show?" entigo who had been brandishing his half melted sword in a feeble attempt to continue to b in the fight
"U KILLED ELMO U DAMN HOMOS!!" Snufflefaguous
"that sounds pretty gay..." big bird
snuffle charged at the gay orgy
only when paris n the queen stopped to take in the scene b4 them did jude realize that he was being sexually violated by the ex president of the united states
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!" JUDE
"wait rnt u supposed to b gay?" queen
"then y did u lik watching us?" paris
"BI!!" the queen, paris, n bill yelled as they jumped on jude
Suddenly, David Hasselhoff appeared!
"Did somebody say new tv show?" he asked.
Everybody just stared at him.
"I take that as a yes! Well then, I am going to be the judge!" shouted hoff
"But this isnt a real tv show!" Ricky exclaimed
Hoff had been talking on the cell phone and now hung up. "IT IS NOW! Its called America's got crazy people fighting eachother talent!"
Entigo threw his melted sword at Martha but it landed at her feet. Martha pointed her uzi at him.
"I guess the tribe has spoken..." obi said in a feeble attempt to be cool and funny at the same time.
"Wrong show, dumbass!" laughed ricky
Snuffle had reached the gay orgy but was quickly subdued by legolas and the cookie monster who proceeded to use him in an explicit manner.
"Nooo!" cried snuffle
Aragorn and big bird were going at it in the corner and paid no attention to his cries.
But there was one factor which everyone had forgotten. Prince and BJ had actually stopped screwing each other and were dancing around in tutus. Strangely enough, this distracted everyone from their orgy.
"Their dancing is so beautiful!" admired aragorn.
Legolas got up and stretched. "Thats nothing. I'll show them a thing or two."
Big bird perked up at that. "When you say, "show them a thing"...do you mean..?"
The cookie monster scratched his chin, "I dont think he meant that."
Just when all hope seemed lost for poor Jude...a flash of light appeared between everyone and a group of strangers appeared before them. But, they werent really strangers. Standing between the horny paris, bill, queen and the helpless jude was batman, phantom, and raven.
"How the fuck did we get here?" Batman asked.
Phantom shrugged. "Who knows. I've stopped questioning all of the wierd shit that happens to us. For all we know, there could be two entities somewhere controlling our every move."
Raven laughed. "Yeah whatever the hell that means."
"Hey, you guys are ruining our fun!" cried the three horny individuals.
Jude fell to the feet of the new people on the scene, "You are my saviors!"
Raven smirked. "Thats right! Kiss my boots!"
Congrats to anyone that somehow made it this far! i commend u on being cool with losing so many brain cells! dont worry y'all theres more to come!
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