roniloveu
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Joined 04-12-06, id: 1026817, Profile Updated: 06-29-08

hi people that i dont kno! a little bout me:

im 18 i live in the US - sorry pedafiles not tellin u NEmore

i am of indian descent which does not mean native american - stop being ignorant! its unbecoming

im not sure what my fav color is cuz i lik so many and my preference changes almost weekly anyway

in lov with soccer and david beckham (NE1 that doesnt kno who he is NEEDS to get bitch slapped a couple hundred times)

tv shows i lik: avatar the last airbender, teen titans, justice league, smallvile, grey's anatomy, everybody hates chris, lost, family guy, american dad, the simpsons, doug, robot chicken, gilligan's island, space ghost, Venture Bros, the brak show, boondocks, futurama, buffy the vampire slayer and tons more that aren't coming to me rite now

book favs: the entire harry potter series, LOTRs, 1984, Catcher in the Rye, Huck Finn, Scarlet letter, Julius Ceasar, all of The Chronicles of Narnia, to kil a mockingbird and a buncha others that i cant remember rite now

movie favs: the harry potter series even thou theyre terribly made, all 3 LOTRs, X-Men, the new Batman movies(where hes all dark and sexy), 28 days later, deevangee, the breakfast club, gone with the wind, mrs doubtfire, titanic, patch adams, kal ho na ho, jack, i an sam, pirates, rang de basanti, sholay, mother india, laagan, gladator, shrek 1 and 2, schlinder's list, forrest gump, saving private ryan, the star wars series, back to the future (all), the princess bride, ghandhi, ET, the last samuri, little women, a beautiful mind, ice age, the queen, the devil wears prada, eight mile, the passion of the christ, the sound of music, apollo 13, black hawk down, the jurassic park series, charlie and the cholcolate factory (both new and old), moulin rouge, erin brokovich, planet of the apes(the original), king kong, ali, dances with wolves, lik every disney ever made, the incredibles, bend it like beckham if i think of NEthing else to say ill let u people kno

fav funny quotes:

"My name is Entigo Mentoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."

"Mama always said life's like a box of chocolates andyou never know what you're gonna get"

Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn’t stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first. "Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git." It would have of been very funny if the situation hadn’t been so serious. And there was more… "Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor." Harry’s eyes closed in horror. When he opened them, the map had ad its last word. Mr. Wormtail bids professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

k now i haf the best convo ever so here it is (it contains language and sexual situations so if ur not cool with that dont read it) = im the one in italics :

wow

somebody's gottaa whoooole lotta time on their hands...

I wonder who that could be:P Could it be the muffin man?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahhaahaha

WTF?!

where the helld that come from?!

hahahahahahahahahahahhaahhaahahhaaha

I hear the muffin man has plenty of time on his hands. So much time in fact, that he makes pretzels and cakes as well as muffins. This man is a genius:D

i bet the muffin man does whole wedding receptions and makes the huge towering cake with shit loads of icing of on

Oh sure! The muffin man does that all of the time! I heard he even makes apple pies. Hee Hee I like his preztels and bagels though:)

yummy bagels...

with cream cheese or butter?

The muffin man likes peanut butter and jelly with his bagels. But cream cheese and butter are available to non-muffin people like us. :) (Or are we all muffin people in reality?) O.o

well idk bout u but im a mufin and bagel person

indeed. however i would say that i am a bagel, muffin, poptart, biscuit and kind of person. :)

haahaahaaahhaahaaaa

hhaahhaaaaaaahhaha

haahahhaaaha

can somebody plez explain to me howwe ended up on such a funny tangent

It has something to do with randomness:D

Like I could say, "Good day to you. HOW ARE THE FISH NETS? and it wouldnt make any sense. But, i would never ask that. So how are the fish nets? .

theyre full of holes...

Interesting...
In that case, use the pots and pans to fish!
Less steps involved. Boil the water as soon as
you
catch em!
Or let them go...
Poor fishies
I like cheese goldfish :)

what about peanut butter goldfish?

ive heard theyre good...

Sounds tasty!
Goldfish are great aren't they?
However, they might have too much power.
We might have to watch them to make sure they
don't
take over the world.
Or something like that... .

ahhh i wouldnt worry bout it
we can always bite their heads off

Hmm...humans vs goldfish.
That would be a very tasty battle.
Our weapons would be drinks to wash them down
with

Their weapons would be...cheese...mmm cheese xD

but the problem is theyre fish!
they control the water
making it hard 4 us to have those drinks to wash
them down with
and if we dont haf our drinks we'll choke and
die!
WERE DOOOOOOMED!!

Gasp You're right! We must stock up on drinks
before the battle begins, eat all of the
goldfish,
and then we get more drinks! It shall be a long
struggle since the goldfish have very good
strategies. Long live humanity! As long as they
dont
get the swedish fish to join their side too, it
shouldnt be too hard. Or will it? o.O

it'll be WWIII fish style!
all the fish armies of the world will unite
against
us!
well...at least we kno we can take down the
french
fish easily

The japanese and german fish might be a problem.
But, we all know that humanity has fishing poles
They wont be able to resist the worms!
This battle shall be over before it began:D

we can inlist the sharks and killer whales!
they get a feast and we get to
live!!
it works out 4 everybody
except till we kill all the sharks and killer
whales
too...heehee

A splendid idea indeed!
The sharks and killer whales are a necessary
sacrifice unfortunately.
moment of silence
I wonder what sharks and killer whales taste
like...
o.o

i hear they taste lik chicken...

oooh, I would love to try buffalo style
shark/killer
whale.
Spicyness is good .

i heard A1 steak sauce goes great with this
stuff...

I just had A1 steak sauce on my dinner! It goes
good
with plenty of stuff. Especially dead shark and
killer whale meat. Mr.FreeWilly is going to be
food
even if he isn't a killer. :P

dude thats so gross...
nooooooooooooooooooooo dont kill freewilly!
kill all the others but not freewilly!

Wow, I didnt know people still felt so strongly
about free willy. He is like so nineties. xD
Wel l, in anycase we could always eat flipper.
Or is
that the nineties too:P

sure go ahead eat flipper...
...with A1 steak sauce
lol

Nah, Flipper is too cute to eat:D
But with A1...mmm I dont know

Anything is possible .

just one thing
make sure u grill him first
u gotta grill b4 u put A1 steak sauce on NEthing

Good idea, but I will also have to throw in some
bread crumbs!
Flipper, bread crumbs, A1 steak sauce, grilled.
yummm...
Where is the fish!?- . (. ) - I Don't
know:P

didnt we kill them?
oh no! we didnt!
they're still here!
and they just took over france!!
france was the first to go down who woulda
guessed...

No, they have taken our fries, toast, and vanilla
hostage! We have lost our french resources.
Good thing we have a good president on our side.
snickering in the background
We must join forces with England once again to
defeat the Axis! aka fish =)

dont 4get the other but less significant forces of
some other countries whose names i cant remember rite
now!
down with the
fish!!
i bet they say "hail fishler"...

That sounds like something the nazifish might do!
But they shall never win!
We also have the steak sauce on our side.
The name of our atoic bomb is A1.

YES!!

and eistein invented it so it must be good!!

were unstoppable now!

oh no!

but wait!

the fish not only have a fishler and are nazis but they also have an eistein!

WERE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED! AGAIN!

Ah, but the Nazi fish didn't want the einstein man because they thought he was wierd.

He didn't have gills and he didn't lay eggs. A very strange man indeed. Good thing he has sided with the humans. Now our army contains Albert Einstein, President George Bush, and Tom Cruise. Now, my friend, WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE:D

yes we have the power of all three!

we have big outrageous hair, a monkey, and a raving lunactic that thinks coachs are trapelines!

WERE SAVED!

oh and dont 4get the sharks, killer whales, and dolphins

I would never forget them! They will be the guests of honor at the feast to celebrate the end of the war. (heeheehee) As long as we have the steak sauce companies on our side, there shall be nobody to stop us from destroying the fish. Unless, Moby Dick enters the picture! O.O

gasp!!

i 4got bout moby dick!

ur rite!

she could come and undermine our entire operation!

she must be taken out!

i kno we'll get capt ahab and some other peg-leg saiors to do it

who knows mayb blackbeard and jack sparrow(drools) will help!

and with jack sparrow and the blackpearl we'll be invincible!!

Yes! With jack sparrow, Capt Ahab, and Orlando Bloom, we shall be undefeatable!

Capt Ahab will be eaten alive by Moby Dick. But while Moby is distracted, Jack sparrow will shoot Orlando Bloom out of a cannon and Bloom will slice and dice up the beast! And then the Phantom of the opera will lead us in a celebration of Moby Dick's death. Go phantom=D

and then the opera singer he kidnapped who didnt love him will come running to him because he was part ofthe group of people that helped to get rid of moby dick

he'll take her back but being the bitch she is she'll get with orlando and jack sparrow and even Ahab had he been alive

poor phantom...

Yes, christine is a meanie! The phantom will throw her off the ship and the party will go on!

With appearances by Neo, Peter Pan, and Batman! The party will go on for two more days until Michael Jackson arrives chasing after Peter Pan. Everyone abandons ship and goes on with their lives...until the giant ufo in the sky appeared! o.o

dont 4get batman's boytoy robin

everyone gets taken up inthe ufo and get experimented on

except batman robin michael jackson and peter pan cuz they offer something the aliens

havent seen b4

homosexuality!!

so the aliens watch as the two pairs get freaky

urgggg...sory cant go on...bad mj/pp images

SHEILD UR EYES!!

DOWN WITH THE FISHES AND CHRISTINE!!

Aha! And the aliens are so confused that they become gay as well! While they are distracted by their homosexuality, everyone escapes except for Michael Jackson who stays behind to lead the gay society:D Christine is also left behind and the women love her! Mwahahaha. :D

and then she sends the phantom a message via R2D2 saying "help me phamtom, ur my only hope"...

The phantom receives the message, looks at it, and then tosses R2D2 into the river and walks away. Fortunately, Obi-wan Kenobi (EWAN MCGREGROR OWNZZZ!!) saves R2D2 and sees the message. He gathers his friends and they head off in the spaceship heading towards the alien flying saucer that is floating in the middle of an aesteroid belt. On the spaceship are Obi-wan Kenobi, Ricky Martin, Justin Timberlake, and Jude Law. The New Backstreet boys are coming to the rescue!

Everything should go just as planned...or will it? o.O

well ricky martin will start dancing to his latin music and get so caught up in

it that he accidently pushes a buncha buttons on the ship's control panel stopping it in midair

obi wan kenobi starts using the force to create a stage where justin timberlake has the crowd of aliens distracted as he sings "My Love" causing all the aliens to be lik "who? u love me? i love u too!!"

obi then runs over and takes control of the ship cuz ricky's too preoccupied with shaking his hips and jude law doesnt kno how to do NEthing but smile sexily

obi puts the ship on autopilot and sets its course for the sun, the foursome run off the ship and into a star cruiser and fly off as the ship explodes in a firey blast behind them

once the whole affair is over jude law flashes the closing brit smile

all the while christine lay 4gotten in her prison cell

(I sent you a blank e-mail! That is because I read your reply and was cracking up and forgot to write a response. Oh well!)

So, the mighty New Backstreet boys destroy the aliens and kill Cristine. Mission failed but all is well that ends well. But suddenly, from behind them, Michael Jackson advances on them in his personal star cruiser. Jude Law smiles at this. Obi-wan gasps in terror. Justin Timberlake cries a river. Ricky Martin is livin la vida loca. What will they do next? Michael Jackson has them target-locked! O.O

well justin's tears start to build up and and the ship starts to get flooded

obi's lik "WTF DUDE?! FUCKING STOP CRYING A FUCKING RIVER!" as he takes out his light saber & attempts to evaporate some of the water

its a futile attempt though as the water has now reached waist level and justins still crying

obi keeps trying to make justin stop but with everything he tries justin just cries harder

ricky's still dancing around its just a ittle harder cz they're surrounded in water which is now up to their shoulders

michael seeing the caos in his opponents ship positions his crosshairs and aims

just then ricky in his completely oblivious dancing state once again hits a button on the control panel

the button opens the latch door and sends the river of tears that justin continues to cry directly at michael's ship taking him out

obi uses the force to shut the door

justins only sniffling now but has a pad of paper out and is writing a song bout sniffling

ricky's still dancing shaking his hips in his tight not good for his sperm count black leather pants

and jude law smiles at the second explosion in 2 minutes

Michael Jackson's wreckage drifts toward the sun. As Jude law begins to look at himself in the mirror, Justin Timberlake finishes his songwriting and starts to cry again. Obi-wan looks at him, "Oh no you didn't!" Obi wan looks at Ricky Martin. He is dancing around like a crazy person. Obi-wan presses the latch door button and ricky martin bumps his hips into Justin Timberlake sending him flying out of the ship. Obi-wan watches as Justin lands on the planet Mars. The rest of NSYNC is there waiting for him and they begin to dance! Ricky Martin sees this too and jumps out to join them! Obi-wan is amazed, "Darn dancing fools!" Obi-wan looks at Jude Law. Jude smiles at him but the shine of this teeth is too strong even for Obi-wan. Obi-wan stumbles off the ship as well. Jude law smiles at the latch door and it closes shut. Amazingly, everyone outside of the ship can breathe. Why some may ask? The world may never know. What will happen next!? o.o

obi lands on mars

justin's getting attacked by his arch enemy boy-band the baskstreet boys

ricky's still dancing

obi just sits there and watches them

justin's on the ground and has a concussion

obi lik "i wonder if he'll have brain damage?..."

he turns to ricky and is entranced by the rocking motion of ricky's hips

obi gets up and goes to ricky

obi puts his hands on ricky's hips and starts moving his hips the same way ricky's are

ricky doesnt really react he just keeps dancing but he is smiling

Does this spell a new romance for our heros?

find out in next week's issue!

judes mirror breaks due to the blinding power of his smile so he settles for a window

Justin is knocked out by the backstreet boys. His arch nemesis notice Jude's ship floating away and attempt to reach it. They reach the ship and hold on for dear life. Unfortunately, Jude is looking out the window and therefore blinds them and they fall off the ship and into a black hole named Jerry. Jude smiles at Jerry and Jerry smiles back then vanishes. Jude is shocked! How can Jerry have a better smile than him!? As Obi is dancing with Ricky, an explostion is heard. Obi looks over and sees Harry Potter. Harry is mad, "How dare you touch my Ricky!?" Obi slaps Ricky's butt and steps up to him, "Who said he is yours!" Harry replies, "I did! Didn't you hear me!?" Obi replies, "Yeah, I think so!" They engage in a lightsaber vs wand battle. Ricky continues to rotate his hips and reforms the black hole Jerry due to all the suction his hip dancing is causing. Jude stares out the window. Now it is time to prove that he has the better smile than Jerry, The black hole !

obi and harry are duking out an epic battle with obi's lightsaber tearing harry's cloak to shreds and harry gets more and more pissed off

"who told u u could touch my ricky?"

"me and my real man balls!"

"hey ive got man balls..."

"no u dont. ur just a kid with bad fashion sense and a scar on ur forehead"

"am not! im the choosen one!"

"oh no ur not! thats aniakin skywalker! ur just a wannabe!"

"who the hell is aniakin skywalker?"

"he's the REAL choosen one"

"no hes not i am!"

"are not!"

"are so!"

"are not!"

"are so!"

"are not"

"are so!"

this continues 4 a good 20 minutes...

"are not!"

"are so!"

"are so!"

"are not"

"HAAAAAAAAA I GOTCHA!"

"no...wait...u tricked me!"

"thats how it works kid and u just admitted that ur not the chosen one"

"grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

"hahaahaaahahaahahahahaahahhaahaahhaaahahhaaahahahahaaaahaahahahahaha"

"where is this aniakin dude ur talking bout NEway?

"he's over at the death star fighting darth vader"

"darth vader? is that supposed to be a bad guy or something? hes got a lame name"

"darth vader is the worst villian aniakin has and prolly ever will face so hes not lame!"

"soooooo...by the worst do u mean bad lik villianous bad or bad as in the stupidest"

"BAD AS IN THE MOST VILLIANOUS!

"hes still got a lame name"

"oh yea? then whos ur mega baddie choosen one wannabe?"

"mines Lord Voldemort"

"Lord Voldemort? and u make fun of the name darth vader?"

"Hey hes exteremly evil!"

"yea mayb for a wannabe..."

"I AM NOT A WANNABE!"

"uhh huh sure ur not"

"I AM NOT! and im gonna prove it! u show me ur precious aniakin's baddie and ill show u mine. we get the two to fight eachother and then we'll c whos the wannabe is and whos the choosen one!"

"fine with me!"

"fine!"

hp apparates both himself and obi away

the conquest of their boytoy ricky was forgotten

meanwhile with on the starcruiser...

jude is death glaring the black hole jerry

hes been at ot 4 hrs but he cant come up with NEthing that could take out a blackhole

suddenly after hrs and hrs of thought he came up with a plan

his face split into an evil sinister grin very unbefitting of jude law

he flew the ship down to the ground and asked ricky if he could dance faster

ricky was lik sure if there was fast music

awww crap i dont haf fast music but then he thought y not ask jerry

jerry but on some really really really really really really really really really fast music and ricky swilved his hips so much it created a vaccum that sucked up jerry the blaxk hole much to judes pleasure but also created a new one

the new black hole sucked ricky and jude into it sending them god knows where

justin was still unconcious and on mars

then two ships approached one was scarlett johansen's and the other was cameran diaz's

the two started a girl bitch fight...

Obi-kenobi and Harry Potter arrive in the death star. Harry looks at him.

"So, where is this Anakin guy!?"

"Well, actually its a Luke guy. Anakin is darth vader! Ha! I tricked you again!"

"Darn you Obi-wan!"

"Look over there, wand boy!"

Harry turns and sees Luke skywalker in an epic duel with Darth Vader.

"Ha! Thats it!?"

Harry turns back to Obi wan and as he does, Luke skywalker chops off Darth Vader's head and kicks it into a trash can. He picks up the trash can with the force and throws it in another trash can.

Harry continues, "I didn't see anything special at all!"

Obi-wan scratches his beard. "Hmm...that isn't how it was supposed to happen...well anyway, you're turn Harry. Lets see what this Voldermutt guy can do!"

Harry shakes his wand. "Its Lord Voldemort! And yes, I shall kick his buttocks with my spells."

"What spell? The spell to be a nerd?"

"Argh! You stupid Shiny stick man!" They disappear off the Death Star.

Jude and Ricky wake up to find themselves surrounded by flowers! Flowers everywhere! Naturally, Ricky screams. Jude Smiles. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a yellow fuzzy thing pops out. Ricky screams again. "A FUZZY THING! EW!"

Jude smiles again. "THATS PIKACHU!" They are both shocked by its lightning attack and are knocked out. Pikachu makes a cute noise.Suddenly, a pink fluff comes to their rescue. It is Kirby!

Back on Mars, Justin looks up to see Scarlett Johanssen give a roundhouse kick to Cameron Diaz's face. Cameron pops back up with a knife and only narrowly missed Scarlett. Justins stands up and starts to cry. Both Scarlett and Cameron look over surprised.

Scarlett says, "Is he crying?"

Cameron, "Oh, yeah. Thats Justin Timberlake."

Scarlett replies, "Oh yeah thats right!"

Cameron punches Scarlett out and kicks her in the stomach. Suddenly, Justin Timberlake hits Cameron with a flying karate kick. Justin stands above the two women in victory. His victory is shortlived however as a new opponent joins the fray. Standing behind Justin with a sword in his hand is none other than...ZORO! Antonio Banderas has arrived!

(haha yea bout that aniakin/vader thing i figured out i did that lik a sec after i sent it and then i was oh whatever)

harry and obi come to voldies supposedly secret lair

where voldie and all the death eaters are

"who are the KKK dudes?"

"oh they're death eaters, voldies followers"

"sooo...he has KKK wannabes as his posse?"

"THEY'RE NOT HIS POSSE! THEY'RE HIS EVIL FOLLOWERS!

"ok wand boy..."

"now watch me take him down!"

harry comes out of the shadows and yells "i will defeat u with the power of love!!"

voldie glances up from his evil plot that has been laid out on a scroll on the table, sighs, picks up his wand, and mutters advada kedavara under his breath

harry dies and voldie goes back to his latest evil plot

meanwhile obi who is still in the shadows goes "awww crap he was my ride..."

kirby takes ricky and jude to ash and friends

"who are they kirbi?"

"kirbi kirbi kirbi"

"they fell from the sky! they must b evil! put em in a cell."

ricky and jude wake up in time to hear ash's last sentence

"hey hey wait a minute! were not evil!" ricky said jumping to his feet

jude smiled at ash and friends

"now does that look lik the face of evil to u?" ricky said but ash was unconvinced

"put em in the cell!"

big huge pokemon came and grabbed ricky and jude

"hey ass let em go!" one of ash's friends said

"MY NAMES ASS NOT ASH! wait... I MEAN ASH NOT ASS!"

"whatever man ur name's offically ass now"

"IS NOT!"

"is too"

"is not"

"is too"

"is not"

"is too"

...some time later as ricky and jude follow the two speakers with their eyes...

"is not"

"is too"

"oh who cares! just put em in the cell!"

zoro is lik "WTF justin!"

justins lik "they were annoying"

"yea most women r"

"how do u kno? is urs?"

"oh yea majorly"

a huge portal opens and out comes zena the warrior princess

"what did u just say bout me!?"

"oh crap..." zoro

"man ur so dead" justin

"did u just say that i am annoying!?"

"ummmm..." zoro as he back away

"well did u?" zena yells advancing with her sword at hand

"id run if i were u" justin

"yea that sounds lik a good plan" zoro as he runs away with zena chasing him

another portal opens and this time wonder woman steps out

"hey! zoros mine!"

"wooooohoooo yea playa!! good job zoro!" justin

zena and wonder woman face off until another portal opens and out comes superman

hes lik "but...wonder woman... baby... i thought u loved me?"

b4 she could even answer another portal opened and batman came out

"no! she loves me!"

b4 Ne1 could say NEthing yet another portal opened and out came robin

"but batman i thoughti was boytoy!

So, theres Obi-wan is standing in the shadows. One of the death eaters looks in his direction but doesnt see him. Obi notices a death eater coming down the hallway so he ducks into the hallway, stabs him in the heart, and takes his clothes. Obi walks down the hallway and through the building dressed as a death eater. He gets multiple compliments from other death eaters on how evil he looks. Obi nods to them and says, "It must be the new evil diet that I am on." He enters a large room with two doors. One says exit and one says Hey,why not try this door? Obi is quite confused so he takes the second choice. He opens the door and is sucked into a portal. He is travelling through a dark tunnel, and he can hardly believe what he sees when he gets there...

Jude and Ricky are thrown into a medium sized cage by a big huge pokemon that happens to be Snorlax. As soon as they are locked up, Snorlax falls asleep. Jude smiles at the giant pokemon. Ricky looks behind him and sees another figure in the cage. It is Tom Cruise! Ricky laughs and Tom laughs as well. Jude turns around, smiles, and then laughs too. The trio laughs continuously for no reason until Ash comes over to the cage. "Darn celebrities! You think you own the world!"

Tom gets up and jumps around. "You can't catch me! I'm the ginger bread man!

Ash looks at Jude and Ricky. "That is why he has been locked up here for two years."

Kirby and Pikachu approach the cell as well.

Ricky screams. "That is the fuzzy thing that shocked us!"

Pikachu makes a cute noise. "Pika pika Piiii!"

Tom points at it. "It is mocking me again!"

Jude smiles at kirby.

Kirby smiles back. "Kirby Kirby Kirby. Hi!!"

Jude takes out a comb and combs his hair. "Yeah, whatever!"

Kirby puffs up and inhales, sucking the cage inside its mouth with our trio inside of it.

Kirby burps and out pops Tom, Ricky, and Jude.

Kirby burps again and out comes a pair of underwear.

Everyone is silent...

Back on the planet Mars, a lovers gathering has begun. Justin, the only free man right now, backs a way from the rest of the people. Britney Spears pops out of another portal though and grabs him by the collar. "Hi there, Justin! Mwhahahaha!"

K-Fed pops out of another portal. "Hey Britney, I see you found Justin. I myself have been too busy with my hustlin. I been riding around looking for a sign. But, baby you really blow my mind."

Britney blushes. "Aw, K-Fed thats so sweet."

K-Fed laughs. "I was talking to Justin."

Zoro stabs Britney as he runs by for no reason. Zena slices off Wonder woman's lasso hand. Superman freezes Zena with his Ice Breath.

Batman shatters the frozen Zena with a batarang and then faces off with Superman.

Robin grabs on to Batman's leg and Batman tries to shake him off. While he is distracted, Superboy pops out of a portal and kicks Robin in his butt. "That's for leaving me, bucko!"

obi sees a buncha hobbit holes

but instead of seeing bilbo baggins

out comes gandof the wizard

"hey u wanna go on a quest?" gandof

"no not really, i wanna kno where i am" obi

"so yes on the quest then?"

"no. its a no on the quest at leastt till i kno where i am"

"alrite. u will b accompanied by frodo, sam, mery, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, and pippin"

"I DONT CARE WHO'S GOING ON THE QUEST WITH ME CUZ IM NOT GOING!"

"ok then heres ur traveling cloak, map, and all powerful ring"

"U STUPID OLD...did u say all powerful ring?"

"yup"

"i think ill go on that quest u mentioned eariler"

"ok well u have everything u need. u should b on ur way then"

as gandof pushed obi towards his comrades he said "oh and theres one more thing. along with the ring being all powerful and the one ring to rule them all, its also a cursed, evil ring that will make all sorts of evil things come after u and u haf to destroy it over a very active volcano b4 the evil things can get it while trying to fight the force of the ring urself and any semi-evil sorta hobbitish things u meet along the way"

obi starts saying WTF but is pulled away by sam and frodo

tom starts yelling bout how in love with kirby he is

and then about scientology and how he and kirbi should hav a silent birth

jude and rocky are lik where the helld that come from?

since britany's dead k-fed and justin start making out

batman and superman go at it

superman using his super strenght and bman using his skills

all in all bman wins cuz sman had no strategy and brains always beats brawn

robin has let go of bman's leg and is getting beaten up by superboy

robin suddenly starts fighting back first by yelled "screw u bitch!"

to which superboy goes "oh no u didnt!"

"oh yes i did"

"ur gonna wish u hadnt said that!" sboy said as he blasted robin with a eyelaser beams

robin's still got fight in him though...

Obi-wan is walking through a forest with his new buddies. Frodo, Sam, and Mery are skipping along way ahead of them. Aragorn and legolas are right in front of him. Just then, it occurs to Obi that he can run away. Nobody is looking at him! He dodges into the nearby brushel and starts running as fast as he can. Suddenly, an arrow comes flying and pins his shirt to the tree. Along comes Legolas with that charming smile of his.

"You didn't think you could escape now?

"Oh no, I didn't. That is why I ran in the first place!"

"Temper, Temper. You don't want to be alone with that ring. It is very evil."

"Right, coming from the guy who just shot an arrow at me."

Aragorn comes into the scene as well.

"Come, we must be moving. The volcano is across the next hill."

Obi is surprised. "Already? We have only walked two miles. Who called this a quest? It is more of an errand!"

Aragorn grins.

"Then where is your grocery list?"

Obi-wan thinks about this. "Say what?"

Suddenly, a huge black cloaked figure emerges from the woods. Obi wan stares at it.

"Great! More creepy guys!"

Kirby smacks Tom Cruise across the face and starts making out with Pikachu. Jude smiles at this. Ricky smashes his hip into Ash and sends him flying into the sky. A sparkle in the sky appears as he flies away. Tom starts to cry. Jude tries to cheer him up and throws a stick and Tom runs after it. Tom comes back with the stick in his mouth, smiling. Ricky takes the stick and throws it off a cliff. Well, I guess everybody knows what happens next. Poor Tom Cruise, he just can't catch a break.

After Superman is defeated, Superboy looks up at batman shocked.

"YES! Thanks for taking care of that guy. I never could stand him!"

Batman salutes him. "All in a day's work."

Superboy smiles at him and continues to kick Robin the abdomen. Robin kicks him in the shin but Superboy doesn't notice it.

Batman sees this and joins Superboy in the kicking of Robin. Justin and K-fed see this and they join in as well. Suddenly, a portal opens up and out comes John Travolta.

John points to the attackers. "Stop! Thou art fiends and shall be eliminated!

John flies up and unleashes energy blasts from his hands...

the big cloaked figure starts chasing everyone

but gollum appears and leads obi and sam into saftey leaving everyone else to fend for themselves

gollum's lik "my precious"

and sam's lik "who me? i think ur precious too!"

"GOLLUM WASNT TAKING ABOUT U TUBBY!"

"but i was talking bout u!" sam said as a jumped on toppa gollum

"GET OFF ME!"

"never! ur my baby gollum!"

"gollum just wants the precious!"

"and i am the precious!"

"NO UR NOT!"

"u kno y ur my precious gollum? ur my precious cuz i luv ur eyes. the big blue things!"

"GOLLUM DOESNT-u lik my eyes?"

"of course i do they're sexy!"

the whole time obi's just lik WTF

and he backs away slowly

sam and gollum start getting freaky and obi's lik im outta here

he turns to leave but is stopped by gollum who pulls him in and makes it a threeway makeout-fest that obi cant get out of

toms dead and kirby and pikachu are making out while ricky and jude watch

jude turns to ricky and they start making out

soon everyone is making out and while everyones distracted jude and ricky get outta there by getting on a space ship and flying off...

fighting insues between bman, sboy, kfed, justin, robin, and john t

eventually though bman's lik "john t i kno ur true weakness!"

to that john t's lik gasp!!

bman takes out some envelopes, grabs john t's tongue, and makes him lick the sticky glue covered part of the envelope

john t collaspes to the ground writhering in pain

sboy opens up the portal and kicks him back and sends robin along with him

kfed and justin having nothing better to do start making out again

just then another portal opens and this time out comes mystic from the x-men

the fighting starts once again!

Obi is caught in the threesome! He struggles desperately to get free but Sam is too heavy to get off of him. Just then, Aragorn and Legolas storm in.

Everybody stops what they are doing and looks at them.

Aragorn is holding a dead turkey and Legolas is holding a pot of stuffing.

Aragorn grins. "Frodo, Mery, and Pipin died. Ha, sucks for them. At least they distracted the cloak guy. Look we got Thanksgiving dinner. I am thankful that we have three less hobbits to worry about."

Legolas looks up thoughtfully. "I am thankful that Sam isn't going to get any dinner.

Sam whines. "Aw man!"

Aragorn smiles. "How about you obi..."

Obi-wan is gone...and Golem is already chasing after him in pursuit of the ring...

Jude and Ricky are now on a spaceship heading toward nowhere in particular. Ricky dances around. "So where are we going?"

Jude smiles at this. "We must save our long lost comrades, Justin and Obi-wan."

Ricky frowns. "Will there be music."

Jude grins. "Of course."

Ricky starts singing out of nowhere. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better!"

Jude smiles at this even though he doesn't understand it. "Hmm...if my calculations are correct...we must head towards the planet of LoRdOfThErInGs."

Ricky stops dancing. "hey, how do you know that?"

Jude smiles. "ha, I didn't tell you that I have special powers?

On the panel in front of the ship, a message keeps blinking.

Get me the hell out of here. I am on planet LoRdOfThErInGs. Hurry, I got a creepy little ogre chasing me! -Obi-wan P.S. Tell Ricky to stop dancing!

Batman and Superboy face off against Mystique. All of a sudden, a portal opens and out pops the phantom making a triumphant return. Which side will he choose? The phantom jumps and sides with Mystique. Batman throws a batarang at Mystique but she ducks and fires a gun at him. Batman dodges but looks up to see that Mystique has transformed into Batman's form. Batman goes crazy and jumps off the Mars plummeting into the unknown. Mystique changes backs and looks behind her to see how the phantom is doing. Superboy fires his eye rays at the phantom but they are repelled by The phantom's dark cloak. The phantom lunges at superboy with his sword and misses by a hair. Superboy punches the ground causing a small earthquake. Justin and K-fed look up and start to run. They see a spaceship in the distance and wave at it. Through its window, they can see Ricky dancing. Just then, K-fed is frozen by Superboy's ice breath that narrowly misses the phantom. The phantom is thrown back by super boy through K-fed shattering K-fed into pieces. The phantom gets back up and rushes toward Superboy. He slashes Superboy's chest but the sword does no damage.

Superboy laughs. "You can't hurt me with that!"

The phantom pulls out a kryptonite dagger and stabs him in the neck with it. Superboy dies.

"How is that for past the point of no return...Sucka!" The phantom laughs an evil laugh.

"Gollum is sorry! Gollum only wishes to have the precious!" gollum yelled to obi as obi ran

"Fuck u bitch!" obi

gollum ran a bit more but then decided to lead obi in2 a trap

"yes yes gollum lead obi into trap, let her have what she wants, and then gollum take the precious for himself..." gollum said smiling evily to himself

sam, legolas, and aragorn are sitting around the fire they've built

legalos and aragorn are eating as sam looks on grumpily

once they're done the three just sit there around their fire

finally legalos says "now what?"

"i dunno" aragorn

"what do u mean u dont kno?! ur the next king! u haf to kno!" legalos

"NO I DONT U STUPID ELF!" aragorn

"U CALLIN ME STUPID?" legalos

"yea so what if i am?"

"i dunno..."

"O whos indesicive now?!"

"well i kno one thing im not indesicive about"

"oh yea whats that?"

"that i think ur sexy!" legalos said as he jumped on toppa aragorn

"WTF DUDE?! I WITH ARWEN NOT U U CRAZY ELF! AND BESIDES I THOUGHT U WERE WITH GIMLI!

"nah gimli left me 4 arwen ever still she expressed her undying love 4 him two weeks ago"

"she...she ...she loves him?"

"yea kinda"

"hell then im a free man. come here u sexy beast!"

aragorn and legalos get really hot and sam just sits back and watches the exteremely hot show waitiing 4 his lover to got back from chasing obi

ricky and jude head toward the planet LoRdOfThErInGs as obi's message indicated

ricky is greatly impressed by jude's supossed powers and his choice in music

and goes in2 the back room and comes out wearing a super tight speedo

he goes over to jude whos piloting the ship and starts giving him a lap dance

jude gets so distracted by the exteremly pleasing sight before his eyes that he forgets about piloting the ship as ricky and jude are distracted with eachoter the ship crashes into some random planet

the two get out and look around and find themselves on a planet where a babys head is the sun and are greeted by four multi colored things

the things introduce themselves to be tinky winky, dispy, lala, and po

dipsy, lala, and po bounce off and tinky winky starts talkng to ricky and jude "hey felllow gay guys!"

"howd u kno?"

"howd i not kno. NEway ur welcome to live with us and preferably do more than just live with us if u kno what i mean"

"soooo...ur all gay?"

"no just me but the others experiment now and then"

"soo...we can do whatever with Ne1?"

"yup"

"i've got dibs on po!" ricky

"fine u haf him u want tinky winky NEway" jude

Mystique and the phantom may seem victorious but batman's still alive thanks to raven from the teen titans

"wheres the rest of the team?" batman

"well after u sent robin back thru that portal he realized his undying love 4 starfire so i think they might b making babies right about now" raven

"ewwwwwwwwww" batman squels lik a little girl

"and beastboy and cyborg figured out they shud b gay together so cy's makin bb change forms every 2 secs until he finds the one that makes him the hottest. i duno how they plan on keeping their relationship goin i mean as far as i kno cy's got nothing down there..."rae

"woh woh woh waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much information there!" bman

"sorry. so what r we gonna do now?" rae

"take Mystique and the phantom down! but b4 we do i just wanted to say raven that i think ur hot!"

"really batman cuz i just couldnt get enuff of u in this black spandex suit!"

Obi-wan is running through the forest and stops to catch his breath.

Suddenly, a huge net falls from the skies and traps him beneath it.

Obi reaches for his lightsaber but Golum has already snatched it away.

Obi tries to use the force but Golem smacks him upside the head.

Obi is mad. "Damnit, Golem! You creepy slimy bastard!"

Golem smiles and takes away Obi's ring. "Ahhh, now the precious is mine.."

"That is what you think, halfnaked man!"

Out of nowhere, an arrow comes flying in and smacks the ring away from Golem.

The ring flies in the air and is caught by a man wearing all green.

Golem and Obi-wan gasp. "Its peter pan!"

"No I am not you nitwits! I am robin hood!"

Golem and Obi look at eachother. Obi looks up confused. "Arent you supposed to be wearing red."

Golem grins and nods. "Yes, you have to have a red hood and a lunch box."

Robin Hood grits his teeth. "You insolent fool! How dare you insult me?"

Golem laughs. "Haha! Where is your grandma! Bet the big wolfie ate her, huh?"

Robin Hood smiles. "It is funny you should say that.

Golem hears a vicious growl from behind him.

"Oh crap..."

There is Sam still watching Aragorn and Legolas go at it.

Sam stands up! He has had enough!

Aragorn looks over at him.

"Sit back down fool, and watch!"

Sam takes out a tripod and camera.

"I will do you one better!"

Sam starts to film them gettin it on.

Legolas looks over.

"Oooh, make sure you get a good shot of my buttocks!"

Sam obliges.

Sam grins. "Oooh my friend is gonna love this!"

Aragorn is confused. "who is your friend?"

Suddenly, speed racer drives into the campsite.

Legolas jumps up. "Oh shit! Its the speed racer!"

The speed racer smiles. "Better believe it, bitches!"

So, there is Ricky making out with Po.

Jude is about to get it on with Tinky Winky.

An explosion shakes the ground.

All the teletubbies and their new friends come out to investigate.

The power rangers have landed and they aren't happy.

The white ranger walks up to Jude, "We have come to save you from these evil creatures."

Jude smiles at this. LaLa takes out a gun and blows the white ranger away.

At this, a huge battle ensues. The black ranger pulls a pistol and shoots Po.

Ricky is like, "Noooo!" He runs out into the middle of the battle and shakes his hips around.

Now everyone is entranced by his motion. Jude smiles and the party begins.

Batman and Raven start making out. This leaves the phantom and mystique to watch on in confusion.

Justin is still mourning the death of K-fed. Mystique realizes that Justin has begun to cry a river so she slaps him.

When he looks again, she has become K-fed.

"wassup, honey."

Justin is overjoyed. "Welcome back!"

K-fed/mystique frowns. "I hate you bitch, go play with yourself!"

Justin is shocked and is angry.

"Fine, I dont need you anyway!"

Justin walks off mad and begins to play with himself.

K-fed morphs back into Mystique. The phantom is sitting in the corner playing with a music box.

The phantom suddenly throws his musix box at Batman.

"You are a pedophile! Raven is like 15 or something like that!"

Batman deflects the box and stares at the phantom.

"Are you so sure?"

The phantom looks at raven and then looks away.

"Whatever, man."

Mystique, anxious for another fight, walks up to the phantom.

"I am way uglier than you are...bitch."

The phantom is like, "Say what!?"

Mystique is like, "You are handsome!"

The phantom is enraged and pulls his mask off.

Everybody turns to look at him.

Mystique and Batman both flinch. Raven is attracted to him.

"He is so ugly that he is hot!"

The phantom puts his mask back on.

"Stay away girl. You are much too young for me."

"Thats not what you said last night." A mysterious voice from behind says.

The phantom turns to see Batgirl.

Batman looks at batgirl and then the phantom.

Raven scratches her head.

Mystique has seen too much so she lets it all out. "YOU ARE ALL FREAKS!"

Everyone nods. "Welcome to the club."

the wolf flies out but to everyones surprise its not some gender confused wolf

instead its professer lupin as a werewolf!

lupin comes out spitting and snarling readly to kill

he starts to beat obi and gollem up but then outta the bushes comes sirius

"lupin baby! im back from the dead!" sirius

"lupin, baby? i thought i was ur first love" peter pan

the wolf lupin stopped and said "ummm..yea...bout that..."

"U LIED 2 ME?!" robin hood

"yea he did honey, get ova it" sirius

"well technically..." lupin started

"who u callin honey bitch!" robin hood interupted

"u asshole!" sirius

the two dissolve into a bitch slap fight over lupin

obi and gollem are watching blinking a lot...

"soooo...ur gay 2?" legalos

"yup" speed racer

"with who?" aragorn

"sam here" speed racer

"yea well sams been cheating on ya" legalos

"i kno. we dont really consider it cheating NEmore it more like sleeing around 4 the heck of it" speed racer

"soooo...ur cool with it?" legalos

"yup"

"ya wanna b in our sex tape then? we can do a three way as sam tapes"

"nah how bout a four way i mean that camera does hav a tripod. we can prop it up and let it do all the work while we haf all the fun"

"k that works 4 me"

everyones watching rickys hips when judes lik "sooo u guys r gay rite?"

"yea pretty much" blue ranger

"where r the yellow and pink rangers?"

"home. prolly making out with eachother" red ranger

"well then come on what the hell r we waiting for?!"

group make outs begin...

"get away from him bitch hes mine!" rae

"no way! hes soooooo mine!" bgirl

the two girls start fighting over the phantom

bmans lik "but raven! i thought we had something special!"

"fuck u bitch!" rae

the phantom meanwhile says "if only christine loved me as these two do..."

"WHAT!? WHY THE HELL R U THINKNIN BOUT HER!?" rae and bgirl

the phantom starts cowering in a corner as rae and bgirl put aside their differences and beat him up

bman ran over to rae, picked her up and pulled her away saying "fuck u bitch...fuck u bitch...i'll fuck u up btch!!"

Sirius and robin hood are exchanging bitch slaps as Obi and Gollem look on.

Obi yawns, turns to Gollem, and slaps him in the face through the net.

Gollem jumps back in pain. Obi looks at Lupin and waves at him. "You want to free me..."

Lupin the wolf sighs and walks to the net that Obi is trapped in.

Lupin looks at Obi. "Look mister, I hate to break it to you but...that mind shit don't work. People only do what you say because they feel sorry for you."

Obi frowns. "Really? Then...don't free me." He waves his hand.

Lupin shrugs and cuts open the net with his claws. "I am way too nice."

Robin hood gives Sirius a huge bitch slap and Sirius goes flying into a tree.

Gollem is still recovering as he is leaning against a tree when he sees Sirius flying towards him.

Gollem rolls his eyes. "fuck me..." He is smashed by Sirius.

Robin hood is like, "Hell no, bitch!" He looks and sees Lupin freeing Obi.

"Hey lupin, what you doing with him. Come back to me!"

Lupin the wolf changes back into his human form. He runs into Robin's arms.

Obi watches on and turns around. There is silence. Then Obi says..."I Need to get the hell out of here, right now!"

Speed racer, Sam, Legolas, and Aragorn are getting jiggy with it when they hear Obi's shout in the distance.

Speed racer gets up. "Did you hear that!?"

The other three are still gettin it on.

Speed racer scratches his head.

"Oh well."

He hops back in and the fun goes on.

Just as Ricky was making out with the blue ranger and Jude was gettin hot with the red ranger, a strange thing happened.

Time just stopped.

Ricky looked at the blue ranger but he wasn't moving.

Jude smiled at the red ranger but there was no reaction.

Ricky jumps up and down. "What is going on!?"

Jude thinks and smiles. "I dont know!"

Suddenly, everything around them disappears and they find themselves in a white room.

A man in sunglasses and a trenchcoat enters the white room through a door. It is Neo.

"Everything that you have just seen was not real. You two are the chosen ones to defeat the new machines attacking our real world. The new machines go by the name...the toasters. You two have passed the test. Your intense level of gayness is the ultimate weapon against the toasters. This is your destiny."

Ricky runs out of the room ready to defeat the machines with his gayness.

Jude smiles at Neo. Neo throws some pills at Jude all in different colors.

Neo shrugs. "I don't know which one you're supposed to take. To tell you the truth, I dont think it matters."

Batman takes Raven and starts to give her a spanking. Batgirl continues to beat on the phantom until Mystique comes and delivers a high velocity kick to her head.

The phantom looks up and around. "damnit, you women are crazy!"

Mystique glares at him. "What did you say?"

The phantom flinches. "Oh, hehehe, I said that whenever you come in, you drive me crazy."

Mystique, "Aw how sweet."

The phantom, sensing a way out, continues, "yes, the blue skin, is quite creepy."

Mystique blushes, "You dont say..."

The phantom really wants to get out of here. Just then, he gets a great idea. He pulls out his phantom cell phone and calls a good friend of his.

David Beckham arrives in a spaceship with an american flag on it.

Batman looks up and raises an eyebrow. "Aren't you british, man?"

Beckham grins, "That is true but those americans pay a lot better! haha."

Raven jumps away from Batman, batgirl recovers, and Mystique looks away from the phantom.

Beckham is surrounded by three crazy fangirls.

Beckham looks over to the Phantom. "I thought you said I was coming for a photograph session!"

The phantom pulls out his phantom camera. "Oh, you have, my friend. So, who wants a picture with david

obi runs and runs and runs which he has been doing a lot of but nevertheless he comes to a swamp and sees a really big green guy

he follows the green guy until he sees a house that the green guy goes into

obi gets really close to the house and hears the green guy talking

"welcome to the bianual green guy convention held in scenic shrek's swamp"

"yea yea we all kno y we're here just get to it already"

"fine im getting to it. our first order of business is taking attendance"

"theres only three of us u, me, and the hulk! urghh it is so stupid!"

"shut it bb!" shrek

"no u shut it u damn orge!" beastboy

"ur making me angry and u dont wanna c me get angry" hulk

"we all ready kno what u act lik when ur angry u moron!" shrek

the hulk gets really pissed and becomes the mega hulk and is all snarling and stuff amd starts beating everyone up

bb turns into a t-rex and shrek calls puss for back up

puss is lik screw u bitch my debt to u is paid

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

"ok now i definately heard something" speed racer

"what r u talkin bout?" legolas

"that loud growl" speed racer

"this guys nuts" sam

"am not!" spped racer

"but he has some major nuts" sam

"oh...thank u" speed racer blushes

"will u two get back to fucking already!" legalos

"fine!" speed racer and sam

jude swallows a buncha diff pills and follows ricky outside to battle the toasters

when he gets there he sees ricky doing his pattented swingy hip motion

jude goes over, puts his hands on ricky's hips, starts moving with him, and smiles at the toasters causing them to drop like flies

suddenly ricky disappears

jude finds himsef with this old white haired dude that created the toasters

the old guy says "u haf 2 choices: 1) try to save the world or 2) try to save the love of ur life. either way ur love will die"

what will jude do?

dun dun dun

the three girls jump beckham as he tries to run

they're kissing and grabbing at whatever they can get their hands on

all the while bman's lik "but im wearing sexy black spandex"

he jumps in to try to get part of the action

the phantom started to walk away when Mystique looks up and sees him

she gets up and jumps him and when rae and bgrl c this they do the same while dragging beckman and consequently bman with them

Puss hangs up on Shrek. He is forced to face a huge beast boy t-rex and a raging Hulk.

Obi-wan notices the cell-phone in Shrek's hands and decides he has to steal it.

"If I can get that cell phone, I can call for help. But, how do I get it without being spotted...and why am I talking to myself?" Obi

Shrek hears someone talking to himself and gets angry.

"Damn it donkey! Bring the dragon so we can escape!" Shrek

Obi-wan climbs in through the window.

"Who you calling a donkey, bitch!?" Obi

Shrek throws a slimy glob of earwax at obi-wan but he misses by an inch.

Obi-wan turns on his lightsaber but is smacked into a wall by Beastboy's t-rex tail.

The hulk tackles beastboy through another wall of the house and they tumble down into the swamp.

Shrek is fuming over the huge hole in his wall when Obi-wan snatches his cell phone away with the force. Obi jumps out the window but comes face to face with none other than...Ricky martin!

Obi- "What are you doing here, dancing boy toy!?"

Grrr, Grrr, godamnit! GRRRRR!

Speed racer pops up for the third time.

"It's human! I knew it!" Speed racer

Sam giggles.

"But of course it is, silly." Sam

Speed racer jumps up and down.

"NO! There is something outside!" speed racer

Legolas and Aragorn stand up. Aragorn's eyes narrow.

"It's not human. Get dressed...its coming..." aragorn

Sam gasps.

"You don't mean...?" sam

Legolas nods.

"Thats right. Its...Barney!"

The white haired dude awaits jude's answer. His words echo around him. Either way your love will die

Jude looks up and frowns. "But I don't want to die!"

The old man raises his eyebrows. "I didnt say you would die, I said your love will die."

Jude nods. "I know that!"

The old man realizes the truth. "You...love yourself?"

Jude grins at him and the old man's eyes fill with tears.

"I understand now!" old man

The old man takes out a gun and points it at jude. "You must die!"

Time slows down as he fires the bullets. Jude bends backward avoiding all of the bullets.

Neo watches as he passes by. "Copycat..."

Jude unleashes a flying martial arts kick to the old man's head. The old man flies back into an electical panel and dies by electrocution.

Jude takes out a pair of sunglasses and puts them on.

"Time to save the world. Who is up first?"

Suddenly, an unexpected enemy appears before him, wearing a tutu. Who could it be?

Raven and batgirl are all over Beckham as Batman tries to get in on the action. The phantom has been tied up with his own rope and mystique is having her way with him. Just like it seems all hope is lost for our heroes, something amazing happens. The planet mars seems to blur away into nothingness as a sudden light fills the environment. Everyone looks up to see that they are sitting in the middle of a city. The city is abandoned except for a few individuals standing before them. Everyone is terrified with fear as they look into the eyes of Alvin and the chipmunks...

"after me and jude defeated the stopped the evil toasters i fell thrua trap doorand ended up here" ricky

"ok then. u wanna help me defeat the attendees of the green guy convention?" obi

"sure!" ricky

with that obi and ricky jump into the fray...

"I want u to b my special friend!" barney

"we're all already taken honey" legolas

"oh...me, Baby Bop, and BJ were just looking fir some fun..."

"ohh u mean that boy dino's here?" sam

"yea"

"ooooo i want him!" sam

"no i do!" aragorn

"no me!" legalos

"what im not good enuff 4 NE of u?" barney

"yea thats pretty much it" legalos. barney crosses is tiny arms and mutters darkly to himself while they fight over BJ.

"who the hell r u?" jude

"u don't recognize me?" tutu wearing person

"not really"

"oh come on every1 knos whoi am!"

"not me"

"urggg...im ellena from fairytopia!"

"uhhh...thats great..."

"do u kno y im here?"

"not really"

"im here to make u straight again(if u ever were to begin with...)"

jude face goes fro utter and complete boredom to shock and fear...

rae, bman, sgrl, mystique, beckham, and the phantom stared at the three little chipmunks before them

suddenly the little chipmunks started singing in high pitch squeaky voices

sgrl instantly fell in love with their cute fuzzy exteriors and set to squeling lik a fangrl

the rest of the group backed away slowly

the chipmunks eyes suddenly turn red, they start snarling, and they start to attack!

Obi-wan jumps towards Beast boy who suddenly transforms into a huge green bear with razor sharp claws and teeth. Obi stops and turns to ricky,"You handle this, Ricky! I'll get that fat ogre dude!"

Ricky sighs and then grins as latin music starts playing out of nowhere. Ricky starts rotating his hips and unleashes a hip strike on The beast boy bear. Beast boy is sent back flying into the swamp and is stuck there by the thick mud. Beast boy is angry! "Damn, those hips are powerful!" He says.

Obi takes out his lightsaber and slices at Shrek. Shrek catches him by the wrist and tosses him over his head. Shrek grins, "Is that all you got!?"

The hulk grabs Shrek by his neck and tosses him far away from the swamp. Obi looks over at the Hulk and frowns. "Hey Ricky, mind doing that hip thing again!?"

There is no response.

"Hey Ricky! Are you there!?" Obi says as he turns around to see Ricky making out with beast boy in the swamp.

"AH, you gotta be kidding me! He's freaking green, man!" Obi yells as the hulk grabs him by the shoulder.

"HULK SMASH!" The hulk snarls.

"Oh boy..." obi sighs.

BJ laughs as he watches the three medieval men fighting over him.

"Don't you know I'm straight!?" BJ yells at them.

The three men look at him in awe. Even barney's jaw drops.

BJ chuckles, "I'm just joking!"

There is a sigh of relief and the fighting continues.

Suddenly, Blue and Steve arrive on the scene coming from what seems a magical rainbow.

Steve grins, "Hey kids, do you see any homosexual knights, elves, or hobbits?"

Suddenly a kid's voice is heard from somewhere, "Behind you, steve!"

Steve laughs, "I sure hope not! Haha!"

Steve turns around to see Blue getting it on with Barney.

Steve is in shock. "Um, can we cut to a commercial break!?"

Jude backs away slowly. "You're a fairy of flowers! I can tell!"

Elena gives him a smile, "Didn't your parents ever talk to you about the birds and the bees!"

Jude grins, "I taught myself!"

Elena mutters something that Jude can't hear, "Whore..."

Jude perks up, "Did you say something?"

Elena looks up acting surprised, "Oh no, I didn't."

Jude takes out his cellphone and calls his friend Ken.

"Hey Ken, yeah, uh huh. Barbies at it again, Yup. Alright." Jude says and hangs up the phone.

Elena looks at him mad, "You called Ken!"

Ken arrives in a flashy red car and says, "Lets go Barbie, come on Barbie. Ah ah ah yeah..."

Elena gives up, "You may know who I am but I have backup!"

Suddenly, Sailor moon appears from the sky in all of her brilliance.

Beckham punts a few of the chipmunks into a nearby fishing net that happens to be around.

The phantom sees this, "Wow, nice shot!"

The phantom nods to Beckham and then continues to slash the chipmunks apart with his sword.

Raven unleashes some dark magic that instantly consumes a huge group of chipmunks in darkness and kills them.

Batman throws some explosive batarangs that kill tons of chipmunks.

Supergirl cries in the corner as she watches the chipmunks being destroyed by our heroes.

A loud voice is heard in the midst of the fighting, "WHO DARES ENTER MY LAND!?"

Everyone looks up to see George Clooney sneering down at them.

There is awkward silence...

the hulk picks up obi and throws him into a tree

obi lands and kinda sits there hoping that he can play dead and that the hulk will just go away

the hulk meanwhile loves the way obi looks when hes defenseless and scoops him up and takes him into shreks house again...

the three medival dudes continue to fight over BJ

"bao bao bao!" blue

"u think im hot?! finally!!" barney

barney and blue start getting freaky and steves like "could we plez cut to commercial now?!"

"sailor moon, phhffft i have buffy!" jude says as buffy pops in

"WTF? Where am i? and y is there an animate barbie doll over there?" buffy

"uhhhh...who cares shes a vampire!" jude

"a vampire!? SHE MUST DIE!" buffy says as she gets her weapons out

"WTF? im not a vampire!" barbie

"yes u r! just look at that perfect body only a vamp could have that bod!" jude

"SHE MUST DIE!" buffy

"but u haf a great bod too slayer so if im a vamp so r u!" barbie

"she has a point..."ken

"shut it ken!" jude

"u dont love me NEmore!!" ken wailed as he ran crying

"i never loved u! though i do admit u haf a great bod..."jude

"SHE MUST DIE!!" buffy

"y don't u stop yelling and actually do something bout it?" jude

samuel l jackson suddenly appears and starts yelling "IM SO SICK OF THESE GODDAMN SNAKES ON A PLANE!"

"where the helld u come from? you're not even on a plane" jude...

"uhhh...hi" rae

"why r u here?" george clooney

"uhhhh...cuz we were chased in by crazy chipmunks" bman

"they were not crazy! they were cute!" sgrl

"they sooo were crazy!" phantom

"were not!"

"were too!"

on and on and on and on and on...

"shut up both of u! ur giving me a headache!" rae

"hey weres that clowny guy?" sgrl

"its clooney" bman

"i think we killed him...hes not breathing..." phantom

"oh well...so whats everyone wanna do now?" bman

Obi is carried away into Shrek's house. The hulk puts him down and walks into another room.

Obi dashes for the door but its locked. Obi's freaking out when the Hulk walks in wearing

lady's underwear. The hulk slowly approaches Obi.

"If only I could open this door with my mind." Obi thinks. He then slaps himself.

The hulk stops, he is confused. "Why you slapping yourself?"

Obi replies quickly. "Why are you green!?"

The hulk closes his eyes and ponders this as Obi flings the door open with the Force.

Steve is watching in horror as all of the characters around get hot with eachother. people are calling and complaining about the program that is being shown through out the world. Steve's cellphone rings so he picks it up. He listens and then lets the phone fall from his hands.

Legolas looks up from BJ and sees Steve's sad face.

"What's up Steve? They cancel your show?" legolas asks

"No...they...they fired me!" Steve cries.

Aragorn scratches his head. "Then who are they hiring in your place?"

Steve sighs and looks down at the ground. "Prince. Or the artist formely known as prince. Or whatever the hell his name is."

Barney laughs. "I guess its a different kind of program now that we are here!"

Everyone begins to chuckle in glee besides Steve who notices that the camera is still rolling.

Samuel L Jackson is seeing things no one else sees.

"God damn it! Whats with these damn snakes on this friggin plane!"

Everyone watches as he unleashes profanities at invisible snaks on an invisible plane.

Jackson grabs Sailor moon and chains her to a tree. He then continues his search for the damn snakes.

Jude smiles at this. "Ha! You got no backup now, barbie!"

Barbie grins. "Thats what you think.."

As soon as Batman finishes his sentence, a loud voice echoes over the area.

"SPARTANS!"

Everybody jumps. They turn around to see a man dressed in Spartan armor.

The phantom rubs his chin. "That guy looks familiar..."

Supergirl waves at the man and smiles. "Hi! Who the hell are you anyway?"

The spartan raises his spear in the air. "I AM KING LEONIDAS!"

Batman covers his ears to protect himself from the tremendous shouting. He then looks up smirking. "Now thats a cool name!" Batman says

Leonidas skids down the cliff he is standing on and steps alongside the group.

He yells to the group. "THE PERSIAN ARMY IS DESCENDING UPON US!"

Raven flinches at the sound of his voice. "The who?" She asks.

Everyone looks up to see an army but even Leonidas is surprised by the sight.

It is not an army of Persians but an army of bunny rabbits with spears.

Leonidas yells anyway, "TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!"

The phantom cringes in pain at the sound of the loud shout. "Geesh, lower your voice. Hey, wait, first chipmunks now bunnies? WTF!?"

Batman nods. "Damn cute little creatures. Lets kill them."

Supergirl smiles at the bunnies. "How adorable!"

A rabbit throws a spear directly at Supergirl. Can she avoid it in time?

obi runs outside and is met with a scene of chaos and confusion

every1 is fighting ever1else even bb and ricky who apparently broke up cuz bb found ricky cheating on him with shrek

ricky and obi team up againbut as they two of them were running thru the swamp obi smashes into a big furry elephant thing

"hey elephant dude u mind moving?" obi

the elephant thing turns around and its none other than manny the mammoth along with sid the sloth and diego the saber tooth tiger

"elephant dude? u calling me fat?" manny

"well u do hav fat fur..." sid

"nobody asked u!" manny

"hey u guys got NE food? im a carnivour that likes his friends too much to eat em so im hungry" diego

"hey how bout that guys hips?" manny

"u saying i got fat hips?" ricky

'this is my big chance to get my career back!' thought steve as he pulled barney and blue apart and started making out with blue

"i always new there was an offscreen romance..." BJ

"buffy!? how could u turn on us?" jude

"well she might b a vamp but shes a damn sexy one..."buffy

the two of em do a madonna/britney grammy awards kiss

"that was kinda hot..."jude

"u even lik them more than me!" ken wailed from the distance as he continued to cry over his lost love jude

sgrl catches the spear in her hand and says "they were trying to spear me in the heart because they r obviously cupid's helpers who have come to make me fall in love with cupid! No need to spear me cute little bunnies i already love cupid!!"

with that she runs into the oncoming bunny onslaught

the rest of the group just stares blinking a lot as she runs toward the killer bunnies

the bunnies look confused 4 a moment but then start savagely attacking her

once the bunnies r done they seem satisfied and hop away

the group goes up to sgrl body and rae's lik "well it was bound to happen some day..."

Manny and Ricky are staring eachother down. Sid is busy trying to pull a nut out of a tree but its not budging. Diego is looking at obi and grinning so obi can see his teeth.

"Why, what sharp, threatening, beautiful teeth you have." Obi tells Diego.

"The better to eat you with!" Diego replies.

Obi pulls out his lightsaber and turns it on.

"Lets see you try! You furry beast!" Obi yells.

The hulk runs outside of Shrek's hut and spots Obi.

"Come back to me!!" Hulk shouts to Obi.

Obi turns back towards Diego as a green hawk flies above.

"You know, that green guy has a lot more meat than I do." Obi whispers.

Diego is looking at Hulk. "You can say that again..." He says.

Obi scratches his head. "You know, that green guy has a lot more meat than I do." Obi says.

Diego smacks Obi upside the head. "I didn't mean it literally."

Obi frowns and then walks off to help Sid with the nut stuck in the tree.

Steve gets another call on the phone and picks it up. He jumps for joy.

"I get to keep my job! Wooo!" He exclaims.

"I don't think so..." A voice says from behind.

Steve spins around to see PRINCE in a wierd shiny outfit.

Steve gasps. "Its Prince! And look what he's wearing! Aluminum Foil!" He shouts

Everyone starts laughing and Prince gets angry.

"Oh yeah...well watch this."

Prince starts a dance routine and everybody is awe struck.

Legolas is stunned. "Are those moves for real!?"

Buffy and Barbie are still making out a few minutes later.

Jude looks at his watch and begins to whistle. "Well, this is awkward..." He says

Ken is pulling at his leg. "Hi, Jude! Want to make out!?"

Suddenly, a lightbulb comes on in Jude's head. "Make out? Take out! Lets take out the bad guys!" He shouts.

"But they're girls. Eww, girls..." Ken replies.

"Ah...Kill em anyway." Jude says.

Ken and Jude both pull out samurai swords. Buffy and Barbie do the same. Who will win this epic showdown?

King leonidas grows angry as he watches Supergirl's body on the ground.

"WE MUST AVENGE HER!" He yells.

Batman shrugs. "Nah, I didnt like her that much anyway."

Raven nods. "She was really annoying."

King Leonidas turns to the Phantom.

"YOU! I CHOOSE YOU!" He yells to him.

The phantom sighs. "Supergirl was...very bothersome."

King Leonidas stomps his foot onto the ground. The earth shakes and everyone is thrown off balance.

"THEN I WILL GO ALONE!" He shouts.

Everyone covers their ears. Batman looks up. "But...thats madness..."

"Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!" King leonidas yells as he charges up the hill in pursuit of the bunnies.

The phantom, Raven, and batman stand there in silence.

Raven flies up. "Oh well, nothing better to do. Lets go slaughter some bunnies." She says.

"Yeah, down with the bunnies!" everyone replies as they join King leonidas in his charge.

"hey sid why the hell r u trying a get a nut outta the tree? ur not a squirrel ur a sloth!" obi

"yea i kno but i lik nuts!"sid

" u lik nuts?" obi

"yea i lik nuts" sid

"do u lik my nuts?" obi said pulling his pants down

"no but i lik his i mean come on there huge!" sid said pointing at manny

"uve got a point there" obi said taking a look at manny

diego went ova to the hulk and was lik "hey ur hot wana make out?"

"if ur lying ull make me angry and u dont wanna c me get angry!" hulk

"oh yea i do" diego

"the moves arent real its all computer graphics" prince

"oh well ur just lame then" steve

"bouh bouh bouh!" blue

"blue says u look lik a fart in that tin foil ur wearing" steve

"it must get hot in there too" barney

"u shud kno u fake ass dinosaur" prince

"what r u taking bout? im a real dinosaur!" barney

"ur about as real as pinocoho is when hes a 'real boy' " prince

jude, ken, barbie, and buffy all had their swords out

and they ran at eachother to attack but kens sword turned into a bottle of nailpolish

ken squeled with delight and sat down to polish his fingernails

"WTF r u doing? jude

"polishing my fingernails! look the polish is pink and has glitter! u want some?" ken

"no u idiot i dont want nailpolish! now get up b4 u get us both killed!" jude

at that precise moment buffy ran over to ken at cut his head off

"crap!" jude

jude tried fighting the two girls but they cornered him and took his sword so he tried his exteremly sexy smile on them

"whats that idiot doing?" buffy

"i think hes smiling at us to try and get us to let him go cuz were weak in the knees or somecrap lik that" barbie

"does he kno were lesbains and he has no power ova us?" buffy

judes face fell and the two girls moved in to finish the job but everything got really foggy and a shadowy figure emerged...

our heros approached the legions of bunnies thinking they had the element of surprise on their side but suddenly the bunnies top allies the duckies appeared!

"oh come on! Whats this crap?"batman

"what the hell is with the armies of cute fuzzy creatures?!" raven

"haha u said they were cute" phantom said pointing and giggling at raven

raven slapped him upside the head

"ow bitch! what was that 4?" phantom

"u were being an ass" raven said matter-of-factly

the phantom bitch slaps raven

raven slaps him back

this continues for some time until...

"WE'RE WASNT TIME!" leonidas said causing the ground to shake beneath them

"godammit ur fucking loud..." batman

"WE'RE SUPPOSED TO B KILLING BUNNIES AND DUCKIES!" leonidas

"u said bunnies and duckies" phantom said laughing

raven went to slap him upside the head again but batman caught her arm and said "dont u two start again"

"I WANNA GO KILL SOME CUTE LITTLE ANIMALS!" leonidas

"cute little animals..." phantom said giggling

"thats it hes going down!" raven

as batman held raven back from clobbering the phantom leonidas was getting bored so he decided to attack on his own

the other three only noticed when they heard strange ripping sounds and leonidas yelling "I DONT LIK BUNNIES AND DUCKIES OR ANY CUTE FUZZY LITTLE ANIMALS ANYMORE! THEY'RE MEAN!!"

"well i guess the end of him" batman

"finally i can take my earplugs out without the danger of permanent hearing damage!" phantom

Obi walks up to manny and pokes him in the leg. Manny doesnt notice since he is still trying to stare down Ricky. Sid is staring down at Manny's nuts. The hulk turned back into Bruce Banner...and Diego is having some dinner.

"Ah well, it was either making out or eating...and I am hungry!" Diegos growls.

Obi tries to think of a way to get everyone's attention. His problem is solved for him. Suddenly, Bambi appears from the forest.

"The hunters are coming! The hunters are coming!" He shouts.

Ricky pulls out a rifle and aims at Bambi.

"Nooo!" Bambi screams.

Barney begins to strangle Prince as kids around the world watch on in terror.

Steve is shouting. "No! You're going to get the show cancelled! Think Of The Children!"

Barney stops for a moment and then delivers a roundhouse kick to Steve.

Blue rushes to Steve's defense and bites Barney's head. Prince takes this opportunity to start singing some high pitched notes into Barney's ear. The three "real warriors" are still getting it on with BJ. Will anyone come to Barney's aid!?

"Do not approach the boy!" The mysterious figure said.

Barbie is shocked. "I know that voice!"

Buffy screams. "It can't be!"

Jude Law grins, "ITS HIM!"

The fog clears and the man is in clear view. ITS BILL CLINTON!

"Its time I tought you ladies some respect!" The former President shouts!

Barbie and Buffy don't move. "Oh crap! Call monica lewinsky!"

"Im so glad thats over!" Batman exclaims.

They all stand together smiling as the army of duckies and bunnies approaches.

The phantom scratches his head. "Did we forget about something?"

Raven nods. "I think so."

Batman jumps up. "Thats right! I forgot to tape the show So you think you can dance!?

The bunnies and duckies stop. "Damn right, we think we can dance!" The cute animals begin an electric slide demonstration.

The phantom points. "Look! Hee hee, duckies and bunnies dancing!"

Raven glares at the phantom. "Oh, no you didnt."

Phantom stares back. "All I said was bunnies and duckies...HEE HEE HEE!"

Raven frowns. "Batman, you'd better hold me back again...Batman?

They both turn around to see Batman breakdancing on the floor.

The phantom shrugs and starts doing his own rendition of thriller!

Raven stomps her foot on the floor. "I do not dance!"

She stomps again...and again...

The phantom looks over. "wow! look at raven's cool stomping dance!"

Raven glares at him again. "Im not dancing! And if you move your face under my foot, You would see that!"

Batman chuckles. "Oh you just got dissed, phantom!"

"dont shoot dont shoot!" bambi

"y not?" ricky

"the hunters r coming!" bambi

"yes i think weve gathered as much" manny

"y r they chasing u?" obi

"cuz theys assholes motherfucker!" bambi who was suddenly sporting more bling than he could hold and wearing really baggy pants that were belted at his knees

"what the hell happened to u? y r u suddenly gansta?" obi

"whats ur deal yo? u and ur white niggers is crampin my style" bambi

"wtf? im latino" ricky

"and were animals" manny

"ur parta the white nigger force yo that the government put togather to keep the black man down!" bambi

"what the hell r u talking about?" obi

"fuck this im takin this shit to the streets yo" bambi and with that he started break dancing

"uhhhh is he having a seizure?" ricky

"yea i think so. hey manny sit on him and mayb itll go away" obi

manny sits on bambi as bambi yells "see bitches this is the kinda shit thats goin down! FIGHT THE POWER BITCHES FIGHT THE POWER!"

"urrg im confused is he gansta or a black panther? manny

steves out cold

barneys yelling about death as he tries to fight blue and prince off

"looks lik barneys gonna die soon" legolas

"mayb i shud go help him. i mean i am his friend" bj

the other three stare at him but then bj says "haaa psych! i really had u goin then didnt i? im having waay too much fun here to leave"

"ha u cant hav her shes with me!" clinton said ashe pulled monica out from behind him

"urrg are all men this stupid?" barbie

"huh what?" jude

"monicas a lesbian lik us. she only used 'americas favorite president' over there to advance her career" buffy

"monica...baby...is that true?" clinton

"hell yea its true! y the hell would i grl lik me lik a tub of lard lik u. i mean come on u can eat a whole pie in one sitting!" monica

"but...u said that was cute" clinton

"ur repulsive u moron!" monica

"oh yea well im worth twelve of u!...OH WHO AM I KIDDING? PLEZZZZZ TAKE ME BACK MONICA PLEZZZ! HILARY CANT EVEN DO A HANDJOB!" clinton

"whatevr" monica said as she kicked the sobbing clinton aside and all three grls turned to jude

suddenly all the micheal jackson haters from all his music videos showed up and surrounded the group

"MICHEAL JACKSON UR GOING DOWN!!" mj haters

"wtf?" bman

"its cuz the phantom was doing the Thriller dance" raven

'im not micheal jackson" phanton

at this the members of the crowd looked to eachother but then said "GET HIM ANYWAY!"

"oh crap..." the phantom said as the he, rae, and bman took off and the mob of mj haters started chasing them

the bunnies/duckies had been trampled in all the mayhem

There was a rustle in the bushes and then the hunters emerged into view. Martha Stewart came out packing two silver glocks. "Its time to own the gangsta bitches!" She screamed.

Obi, manny, and ricky looked up at the solo hunter.

Obi raised an eyebrow. "I thought there were like three of them or somethin."

Martha Stewart smiled. "They didnt agree with my household tips..."

Manny stood up and stared at Martha. "Arent you supposed to be in jail!?"

Ricky chimed in, "Hey! That means you're a gangsta too!"

Bambi raised himself up. "Hell no, bitches. She aint no stone cold gangsta like me!"

Martha Stewart, "Thats right, I'm a classy citizen...with two loaded guns ready to blow your asses away."

Bambi cried out, "Bring it on, Ho!" Bambi pulled out a 9mm and pointed it sideways.

Obi looked around and sighed. "Some serious shit is about to go down..."

The children around the globe are silent...as Blue tears out Barney's throat...

The presidents of nation's shed a single tear... Mothers and fathers mourn in grief...

Teenagers and young adults shout with glee...

Prince upon seeing the bloodshed finds sudden inspiration and starts singing again.

BJ on seeing his friend's demise stops for a second and then continues in his "Business"

The three warriors laugh at the dead barney.

All of a sudden, a new threat arrives to take revenge for the death of barney...

Jude looks over at the sobbing former president. He then looks to the three cuddling lesbians across from him. He ponders for a while...then smiles a good ol british grin. "I have genital herpes."

The three lesbians looked at him with disgust and then began to move away. After they had disappeared, Jude laughed. "Ha! I fooled them!"

Clinton stood up and smirked. "That was the best lying I ever saw! You could give me a run for my money! Hey, why dont you come work with me? We can get Hilary into office...so I can pick up some more chicks in the white house!"

Jude rubbed his chin. "I'm British! What would the queen say!?"

Clinton laughed. "Who cares about the queen!?"

"I DO!" Both Jude and Bill spun around to see the queen of england...holding a very long sharp sword.

Bill's jaw dropped. "Aw Shit..."

Jude just grinned.

The phantom looks back as he continues to run with his companions. "Why the hell do they think I'm Wacko Jacko!? I was just doing a dance!" he complains

One of the haters yells up to him. "Look, that freak is hiding his plastic surgery. Thank God, for that! HAHAHAHA!"

Raven nodded. "Yes, their evil is quite strong. They will most certainly destroy you, phantom...ha bitch!"

Batman began to sprint. "Aw shit, I'm wearing a mask too!"

The fans' yell out. "Hey, which one is Michael now! I can't see, they're all hiding their faces!"

The phantom smiled. "Cool, now we're all probaly going to die!"

The fans reply. "KILL EM ALL!"

Raven sighs and turns around. "Fuck this! Kill the Haters!"

The fans stopped in confusion. "OH, shit. Michael Jackson's a woman now!?

"this bitch killed my mom. shes goin down!" bambi

"who cares. my quest is of greater importance" completely new guy that just came outta now where

"hey who r u?" obi

"my name is entigo mentoya. u killed my father. prepare to die" new guy

"damn obi i didnt kno u were that kinda messd up! u killed his dad!" ricky

"what! no i didnt! i dont even kno this guy!" obi

"c i told all yall that he was parta the white nigger force!" bambi

"run everybody run hes a murderer!!" sid

with that everyone started running around in circles yelling about the murderer in their midst

its elmo, big bird, snuffleufagous, and the cookie monster!

"noooooooooo! u people should b ashamed about what ur doing to early morning childrens television" big bird

prince went on singing

"did u hear something?" bj...

"u c our queen is as swarthy as a sailor i recommend surrendering now" jude

"r u kidding me? shes lik 70 i can so take her" bill

with that the two opponents squared off and started what jude anticipated would b the new fav utube video

the queen came at bill with her sword out and at the ready and bill had his fists ready to go but as they neared each other they dropped their "weapons" and instead had a "cat fight"

"ow!!" bill

when the queen heard that she stopped n a strange misty look filled her eyes

she approached bill and started kissing him

"oh yea baby dont stop" bill

"i shuda seen that comin" jude

"so thats y he was sleepin with little boys, hes a chick now!" haters

"what the hell?! im not jacko!" rae

"but y r there 3 of em?' haters

"THERE R NO JACKOS HERE!!" phantom

"dont tlisten to em theyre trying to poison ur mind!!" haters

"hey the morons just gave me an idea!" rae

"what ya got? poison?" bman

"no better" rae said as she smiled a REALLY evil smile

"dude shes hot but shes scary as shit" phantom

"i kno" bman said as he and the phantom huddled together cowering in fear

"oh look theyre being gay in fronta us now!" haters

bman and th phantom looked at each other, coughed, and started to part but then looked at rae and were lik 'fuck it" and held on

rae rose up in the air and "thriller" music started playing...

"I am no murderer!" Obi cries out.

"Thats not what your momma said last night." says Bambi with a grin.

Obi frowns. "That doesn't make any sense."

Bambi smiled. "Thats not what your momma said..."

Just then Martha Stewart whipped out a rocket launcher.

"So, there are two gangsta bitches to own!? So be it!"

Two rockets are sent flying out to Bambi and Obi.

Bambi doesn't have time to move!

Luckily, Ricky jumps into to deliver a terrifying hip bash to the rocket sending it into a nearby tree.

Obi pulls out the old lightsaber and jumps toward the missle.

He soars through the air almost in slow motion ready to cut the missle in half.

...He misses.

Manny smacks the missle with his tusks and it goes into the same tree.

"Shit! You shouldn't have done that!" Sid exclaimed.

"Why!?" manny asked.

"Ha, I'm just fuckin with you." Sid laughed.

At that, Entigo leaped towards obi with his sword.

Prince delivers a very suggestive dance routine while bj and the others enjoy themselves.

Big bird is shaking his head. "I can't believe you guys!"

The cookie monster whispers something in Big Bird's ear.

Big bird gasps. "We can't do that!"

Elmo and snuffleufagous insist on following cookie monster's plan.

Big bird sighs. "FINE! I guess we have no choice."

They all depart. An eerie silence pours over the land.

Prince stops singing. Bj and the others look up.

A speeding suv drives up. Big bird and the others stick their hands out the windows

They're holding uzis. Elmo shrieks in delight, "DIE MUTHA FUCKAS!"

Bj pulls out a shot gun and prince pulls a magical pistol out of his pants. No really...its a gun. Aragorn, Legolas, and Sam pull out tommy guns.

The battle begins!

Jude just looked on in amazement. Then he slapped himself.

He started recording with his camera. As soon as he hit the record button,

Paris Hilton entered the picture. "You can't make this video without me!"

Jude scratched his chin. "Hmm, but you aren't even political. the title was going to be

Bills' missle crisis."

"I can do missles!" Paris cried.

Bill turned his head. "We already know you can!"

The queen snarled. "American women..."

Jude watched all this with a smile. "hee hee, hop in Paris."

All of the haters turned around. One "hater" in the back had a stereo blasting THRILLER.

"A Traitor has infiltrated our army! Kill him!" the haters yelled

They all gathered round him and beat him with sticks.

Raven laughed an evil laugh. "Mwhahaha, prepare to die, mortals!"

The haters turned around again, "SHIT, Michael jackson can fly too!?"

One hater stomped the ground. "This is why I fuckin hate him. He always does crazy shit!"

Raven unleashed a darkness cloud over the haters.

Batman and the phantom gazed up at it.

They both looked at each other as the earth started to shake.

"OHHHHH FUCK!" they both screamed.

"my name is entigo mentoya, u killed my father, prepare to die" entigo

"dude we kinda already kno ur name" ricky

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" obi and entigo as they run towards each other

"hey who u think will win?" diego asked nudging ricky

"i dunno but ive got popcorn" ricky said

"ohhhhhhhhhhh is it buttered?" martha

"yup" ricky

and with that all except obi and entigo plopped down to munch popcorn and watch the fight

"howd aragorn, sam, n legolas get guns? theyre from the 10th century!!" big bird

"how r u not grossly obess u cookie eating freak!!" legolas

"i hav a clincal addiction!!" cookie monster

"hey man thats not cool..." said the suddenly pot smoking, van driving, sandal clad hippie big bird

"not again...he always gets lik this whenevr ne1 insults cookie monster..." elmo

"hes my friend!" big bird

"u kno hes more than that!" elmo

"what...what r u talkin bout?" big bird

"u kno exactly what im talkin bout!!" elmo

"r u insinuating something?" big bird

"ive seen both of u doin a hell of a lot more than 'hanging out' in ur nest!!" elmo

legolas, sam, n aragon couldnt believe what they were hearing...

"R U TELLING ME THAT AMERICAS FAV KIDS SHOW IS THE HOME OF SECRETLY GAY CHARACTERS??" legolas

"some of em anyway..." elmo

"I'M NOT GAY!! I JUST SPECIAL HAV NEEDS!!" big bird

"oh shut it u oversized pigeon!!" cookie monster

the "fight" for bill began

the queen and paris had somehow managed to get naked so fast that no1 had even seen it happen

n bill not wanting to miss out had joined them (unfortunately)

and as the women did unmentionable things to bill while he moaned continously, their eyes grew misty but not for him for each other

bills sexually charged moans turned into pathetic weeping as the two women recreated the scene "not another teen movie" where the old lady has her first kiss slobber and all

Rae's power sent a massive tidal wave of dark energy towards the haters

it destroyed the stereo and seemingly relieved the haters pain

"whatd u do that for??" bman

but before rae cud answer all the haters started running around screaming holding their heads in what seemed lik excruciating pain

"whatd u do?" phantom

"i made so that THILLER's stuck in their heads forever...or for as long as theyre alive..." rae

Obi-wan and entigo cross blades...unfortunately only one of them is wielding a lightsaber. Entigo becomes angry as he sees his sword split in two.

"You fiend! You have obviously used some matter of witchcraft to overcome me in the duel!" entigo cried out.

Obi-wan frowned. "Nuh uh! Its technology!"

Entigo shook his fist at him. "Not in my world, it isnt!"

Martha threw some kernels of popcorn at the two swordsman, "You call that a duel! It had no style, no class!"

Obi-wan laughed, "Oh and is an ankle monitor for house arrest any more stylish, bitch!?"

Martha took out an uzi, "You're going down, lightsaber boy!"

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Legolas looked around. "Cookie monster and big bird are gay, right?"

Big bird shrugged, "Well, you see, I..."

Sam cut him off. "And all of us are gay..."

Elmo caught on to what they were saying, "Ah, fuck, no. Snuffelegaus, something gay is about to go down."

Snuffle gasped, "You mean..."

Elmo aimed his gun at his head, "I cannot bear to watch!"

Kids around the world cried as they watched their favorite sesame street character blow his brains out.

Snufflefaguous cried over his dead body as the rest of the group began to engage in a very homesexualy charged orgy!

Jude law looked away from the eyehole of the video camera. "Wait a sec, I don't remember this in the script!"

The queen and paris were rolling around with each other in the mud now and Bill was quite upset.

"Why doesnt anyone want any more of me?" he complained

Out of desperation, Bill turned to Jude.

"Hey, Jude. Cant you take a sad song and make it better?"

Jude was busy watching the old lady getting it on with the younger one and was shocked to find himself getting aroused.

Bill had taken enough of the ignorance of those around him. "If I cant have the queen or paris...I'll just have to settle for a male british actor!"

Jude law continued to watch the women without a care in the world as bill charged at him swallowing viagra pills as he ran.

As soon as raven had said, "as long as they're alive." the haters all turned and starting heading for a nearby cliff.

"Oh my fuckin god! There is gonna be a mass suicide of MJ haters!" batman yelled out.

Raven glared at him. "Um...and your point is?"

The phantom rubbed the back of his neck, "Eww, this is going to be nasty. Do we have to watch?"

Raven laughed, "I sure as hell am."

After all the haters fell to their death, it was silent for a while.

"Shit, what do we do now..?" Batman asked hopelessly

A lone individual ran up to the trio. "Hi, sorry I'm late. I'm here for the michael jackson hate group. Did I miss much?"

"bring it on u mediocre houseware designer!!" obi

"oh no u didnt" martha said rolling her neck

"oh yes i did" obi said rolling his neck back at her

"ooooooooooo its on!!" ricky

"what? whats on? is it a new tv show?" entigo who had been brandishing his half melted sword in a feeble attempt to continue to b in the fight

"U KILLED ELMO U DAMN HOMOS!!" Snufflefaguous

"that sounds pretty gay..." big bird

snuffle charged at the gay orgy

only when paris n the queen stopped to take in the scene b4 them did jude realize that he was being sexually violated by the ex president of the united states

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!" JUDE

"wait rnt u supposed to b gay?" queen

"yea..." jude

"then y did u lik watching us?" paris

"ummm..." jude

"BI!!" the queen, paris, n bill yelled as they jumped on jude

Suddenly, David Hasselhoff appeared!

"Did somebody say new tv show?" he asked.

Everybody just stared at him.

"I take that as a yes! Well then, I am going to be the judge!" shouted hoff

"But this isnt a real tv show!" Ricky exclaimed

Hoff had been talking on the cell phone and now hung up. "IT IS NOW! Its called America's got crazy people fighting eachother talent!"

Entigo threw his melted sword at Martha but it landed at her feet. Martha pointed her uzi at him.

"I guess the tribe has spoken..." obi said in a feeble attempt to be cool and funny at the same time.

"Wrong show, dumbass!" laughed ricky

Snuffle had reached the gay orgy but was quickly subdued by legolas and the cookie monster who proceeded to use him in an explicit manner.

"Nooo!" cried snuffle

Aragorn and big bird were going at it in the corner and paid no attention to his cries.

But there was one factor which everyone had forgotten. Prince and BJ had actually stopped screwing each other and were dancing around in tutus. Strangely enough, this distracted everyone from their orgy.

"Their dancing is so beautiful!" admired aragorn.

Legolas got up and stretched. "Thats nothing. I'll show them a thing or two."

Big bird perked up at that. "When you say, "show them a thing"...do you mean..?"

The cookie monster scratched his chin, "I dont think he meant that."

Just when all hope seemed lost for poor Jude...a flash of light appeared between everyone and a group of strangers appeared before them. But, they werent really strangers. Standing between the horny paris, bill, queen and the helpless jude was batman, phantom, and raven.

"How the fuck did we get here?" Batman asked.

Phantom shrugged. "Who knows. I've stopped questioning all of the wierd shit that happens to us. For all we know, there could be two entities somewhere controlling our every move."

Raven laughed. "Yeah whatever the hell that means."

"Hey, you guys are ruining our fun!" cried the three horny individuals.

Jude fell to the feet of the new people on the scene, "You are my saviors!"

Raven smirked. "Thats right! Kiss my boots!"

Congrats to anyone that somehow made it this far! i commend u on being cool with losing so many brain cells! dont worry y'all theres more to come!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Of White Trees and Blue Roses by angel eyes1 uk reviews
Prequel to A Game of Thrones - Harrenhal, Stark children, Knight of the Laughing Tree, the Mad King, Lyanna's abduction, Catelyn Tully, and Ashara Dayne. Intended ending is the end of Robert's Rebellion if I'm patient enough.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 102,497 - Reviews: 322 - Favs: 296 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 8/30/2014 - Published: 11/4/2011 - Lyanna S., Rhaegar T.
A Child Called Draco By Severus Snape by LadyLilyMalfoy reviews
The story of Draco, Severus and Lucius, and all the complications they cause one another. A pre-hogwarts fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 50 - Words: 123,413 - Reviews: 649 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 5/3/2014 - Published: 10/1/2006 - Draco M., Severus S., Lucius M.
No Nay Never by lyin reviews
Not just anyone was asked to join the First Order of the Phoenix, only the bold and the brave, the best witches and wizards of their age... They didn't all say yes. Ch 3: Kingsley Shacklebolt arrests James Potter...a lot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,327 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 11/2/2013 - Published: 12/16/2008 - James P., Marlene M., Kingsley S., Dirk C.
The Maiden in the Tower by simplyprologue reviews
There's a story that the smallfolk tell about Sansa Stark and the night she threw herself from the Eyrie. Westeros is six years into winter... and two unlikely people find their way to the Vale, where they find out an unlikely truth about the night that Sansa Stark was supposed to have died, and the light that can be still be seen shining from the Eyrie. WIP.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,017 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 7/2/2013 - Published: 12/15/2012 - Sansa S., Sandor C.
Stay or Leave by bkgrl reviews
Arya has come back from the House of Black and White to find Jon was never her brother, her siblings are actually alive and the Bolton's have claimed Robb's throne. Meanwhile Stannis hasn't given up on being king, the Tyrells are still just as devious as before and the Greyjoys fighting to be free, all while the White Walkers wait beyond the Wall for the perfect time to attack.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 148,547 - Reviews: 393 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 288 - Updated: 1/8/2013 - Published: 6/9/2012 - Arya S., Jon S., Aegon VI
Broken Wing by Dweezil514 reviews
Sansa is broken beyond repair.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 32 - Words: 43,260 - Reviews: 595 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 5/23/2012 - Sansa S., Sandor C. - Complete
Cats in the Cradle by headcannonball reviews
Future Fic. Sandor interacts with some kittens. This is a silly fic. It is not serious in any way.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,616 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 26 - Published: 9/19/2012 - Sandor C., Sansa S. - Complete
Backstabbing Boy Wonder by Phazon Droid reviews
Robin abandons the hero life and experiences the desire for power by becoming Slade's apprentice. The Titans must accept this betrayal, but Starfire is caught between saving or killing a friend. Chapter 18: Who Makes the Rules
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 55,477 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 9/8/2012 - Published: 6/27/2006 - Robin, Blackfire
Nothing's Gonna Harm You by Tare-Bear reviews
I didn't know what to feel. A real lady would have been gracious, but disapproving. She might of laughed it away or given her sweetest apologies to the beautiful golden Dornish princess that was his wife. I might have shared Robert and Ned's outrage, or Brandon's curtsies... but all I could see behind those veiled violet eyes was freedom. Lyanna/Rhaegar
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,948 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/19/2012 - Published: 7/10/2012 - Lyanna S., Rhaegar T.
Cubs of Lannister by Aehrica reviews
A collection of stories from the points of view of young Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,564 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Cersei L., Jaime L.
He kept his eyes down by hiddenindians reviews
Jeyne washes Theon's face. This was deleted earlier for some reason so here it is again.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Jeyne P., Theon G. - Complete
Harder & Stronger by hiddenindians reviews
DwD & WoW spoilers. Theon Greyjoy & Jeyne Poole in Braavos, alternating POVs. Cover image by Croclock on tumblr
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 31,233 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/1/2012 - Published: 11/2/2011 - Jeyne P., Theon G. - Complete
The Wolf in Bird's Clothing by lannerz reviews
Sansa Stark has hatched a plan - a secret plan - with Aegon VI. But there is one person still standing in her way, and he is ruling the Vale.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,991 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Sansa S., Aegon T. - Complete
Crossing Stars by DuchessOfDementia reviews
AU. Arya Stark was not 'trapped' in a marriage. The word 'trapped' would imply that her husband actually cared that she kept slipping out in the middle of the night to see Tobho Mott's strapping young apprentice.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,987 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 314 - Follows: 519 - Updated: 5/14/2012 - Published: 4/15/2012 - Arya S., Gendry
The Rest of the Fanfic by Qoheleth reviews
The untold stories of various HP characters, as they might have sounded on Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story".
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,512 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/28/2012
Get to it, Dog! by soulwriterchick reviews
Joffrey wants to hear Sansa scream. But will the Hound do what is asked of him? This story is complete and already posted over at the sansaXsandor livejournal community. I am posting it here as well for posterity.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,159 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 364 - Follows: 50 - Published: 11/13/2011 - Sandor C., Sansa S. - Complete
That's My Son by Necesisstas reviews
Such beautiful words these were, magical, natural. So how could they bring such pain? How could they be so disasterous? Amos Diggory knew. Edited. Thanks to anyone who reviewed the first one and anyone who reviews this. It means a lot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,639 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Published: 10/22/2011 - Amos D., Cedric D. - Complete
For Love, For Honor by Heiress to Storm
A little insight in a young Catelyn's feelings during Petyr's duel, how she felt and what she did
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 673 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10/2/2011 - Catelyn T., Petyr B./Littlefinger - Complete
No Pink Dresses by RaverSawyer reviews
Written for the 2011 fanwork summer fest at jaimexbrienne on LJ. Prompt was and summary is : Another bath together, as smutty as you want.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,257 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/21/2011 - Jaime L., Brienne T. - Complete
Monsters and Maidens by Gefionne reviews
After fulfilling her quest to return Sansa Stark to her family, Brienne is sent back to King's Landing to meet her betrothed. There she also encounters Jamie Lannister-now lord of his house-once again.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,000 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 57 - Published: 6/21/2011 - [Jaime L., Brienne T.] - Complete
Burn by EmaniaHilel reviews
Continued -- RedX is stalking the city again. Only this time, there's a different kind of jewel he's got in mind for a prize...And this one might just burn him... Uploaded Part XI: Sizzle
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 26,019 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 2/5/2006 - Red-X, Raven
Faded Blue by Amela333 reviews
The story of the night Ariana Dumbledore was killed.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,178 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Aberforth D., Albus D. - Complete
A Quick Escape by Silver Sailor Ganymede reviews
Eileen Prince cannot stand Abraxas Malfoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 559 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Eileen P., Abraxas M. - Complete
Sweet Caroline by gingercat0319 reviews
He was rich, single and disgustingly handsome. Learn how a four-year-old will turn his world up-side down. Sequel now posted - My Darling Caroline.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 96,808 - Reviews: 2022 - Favs: 1,904 - Follows: 911 - Updated: 2/16/2010 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Green Files by The Lady Bonny reviews
You know he is a Titan called Beast Boy but his real name is Garfield. You know he is green and tells jokes. You know there must be more to him than that...and you're right. A series of drabbles and oneshots about Beast Boy.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 51 - Words: 94,533 - Reviews: 801 - Favs: 436 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 2/3/2010 - Published: 6/6/2006 - Beast Boy, Raven
Coffins and Broken Noses by Fresh Water Plimpy reviews
We've all wondered how Albus Dumbledore broke his nose and now we know. Constructive criticism is welcome.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 591 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Albus D., Aberforth D. - Complete
Tell Me They're Lying by Aiwe Saito reviews
Salazar would kiss her and make her forget, like he always did, and Helga would forgive him, like she always did, and he would have manipulated her into once again ignoring his mad behavior... No. Not again. Not ever, ever again.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,482 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 10/17/2009 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Helga H., Salazar S. - Complete
An Uncle's Love by JacksonFrost reviews
Alphard Black loved his nieces and nephews more than anything. He loved them enough to make sacrifices. And his sacrifice is the reason for the scorched mark over his name on the Black family tapestry. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,287 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Alphard B., Sirius B. - Complete
The Power of a Gemstone by JacksonFrost reviews
Andromeda is kicked out of her house for loving a Muggleborn. Bellatrix and Narcissa meet her outside, for one last night as sisters. For the gemstone challenge. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,319 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Andromeda T., Narcissa M. - Complete
Our Time by xoxcrescentmoonxox reviews
Parvati measures her life in school years. But her love – that she measures in summers, in the times when it’s just her and Padma. Forever. Oneshot for the Reviews Lounge Summer Collaboration.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,852 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Parvati P., Padma P. - Complete
Earl the Gerbil by HPnLOTRrox reviews
Idea I had while re-reading HBP, based on when in the first chp the Prime Minister is recalling his first meeting with Fudge where he turned the Prime Miniter's teacup into a gerbil and the Prime Minister gave it to his niece. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,819 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/13/2009 - OC, C. Fudge - Complete
Collateral by Xaphrin reviews
Red X wants the rest of Robin's suit, and he takes Raven as collateral. Or so he's told the other Titans. But a series of events changes his mind and he begins to realize he doesn't care about the suit. What he really wants is Raven. Red X/Raven/Robin
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,000 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 6/30/2009 - Published: 12/15/2008 - Raven, Red-X - Complete
One Which Makes The Heart Run Over by GuardianSaiyoko reviews
There's something very wrong with Beast Boy and it's up to Raven, who has been reluctantly appointed team therapist, to find out what. BBRae.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 38,057 - Reviews: 482 - Favs: 559 - Follows: 245 - Updated: 6/24/2009 - Published: 7/7/2006 - Beast Boy, Raven - Complete
Lady Mother by redcandle reviews
Catelyn yearns to give her lord husband a son who looks like him. Ned/Catelyn.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,128 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Catelyn T., Eddard S./Ned - Complete
Pride of the Rock by redcandle reviews
Tywin Lannister's character is shaped by his father's weakness.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,138 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Tywin L. - Complete
I Dream of Plagiarism by Cat Feral reviews
You have to wonder what *They* think of it all!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,463 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Minerva M., Poppy P. - Complete
From the Desk of Rita Skeeter by Cat Feral reviews
Still more liberties of the press
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 708 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Rita S., Minerva M. - Complete
Like Mentor, Like Son by Hearts A Mess reviews
Alastor Moody reflects on a past experience with a pupil that was not so different than his present charge, and the impending edge of death always reveals what has never been settled.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,278 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Alastor M., Mundungus F. - Complete
Toy Guns by It'sTimeToDance reviews
A look on the events leading to the end of Batman and Robin. DCU Post-Crisis.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,732 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Robin - Complete
Find Me by bellmaree reviews
Hannah Abbott, always the underlying Hufflepuff girl, comes out of the background when a devastating event occurs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,107 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Hannah A. - Complete
First Years by Qoheleth reviews
Shortly before their first banquet as Hogwarts professors, Severus Snape and Charity Burbage have an illuminating conversation.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,599 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Severus S., Charity B. - Complete
Evaluations by KF fan reviews
If someone did psychological evaluations of the Teen Titans, what would they say? How would it ever come up?
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 68,682 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Complete
The Traitor by Lilya reviews
Bloodtraitor is not a light word that can be flung around carelessly. But wizards have a long memory… Let us step back to the Year of Our Lord 1656. Whatever happened to the Hanleys and the Clarks?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,390 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/11/2009 - Published: 10/19/2008 - OC, Arthur W. - Complete
Minerva and the Boggart by Cat Feral reviews
Our deepest fears change over time.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 647 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Minerva M., Remus L. - Complete
Merry Christmas, Seamus by CaptainSammish reviews
Seamus enjoys a little holiday cheer. Fortunately, Dean is an old hand at not letting Seamus-induced madness ensue. One-shot, non-slashy, as usual!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Seamus F., Dean T. - Complete
Wounds Everlasting by Padfootatheart reviews
The Dumbledore household after Ariana is attacked and their father dragged off to Azkaban. Oneshot. Angst.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,191 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Ariana D., Kendra D. - Complete
Free Falling by NomadicOne reviews
On top of the roof of Titans Tower, many things are shared, usually by the two dark birds in residence. A simple question leads to a simple act, yet complex responses emerge. Rae/Rob WAFFY cuz you know you love one at Christmas time.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,534 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Raven, Robin - Complete
The Measure of Mercy by moira of the mountain reviews
A profound moment between Severus Snape and a victim of The Dark Lord.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 718 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Severus S., Charity B. - Complete
Alteration by karala.green reviews
COMPLETE. 39 of 39. Draco/Hermione; aka Dark Desire. Hermione finds out about her true heritage. She's caught up between her old lifestyle and the new. Let's see what happens...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 127,925 - Reviews: 438 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 11/22/2008 - Published: 9/27/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
A Cup Of Sugar by Krahae reviews
New names. New place. Same young women. Years as a criminal operative or as someone fighting them means nothing during midterms. Raven, Jinx and maybe a few others tackle the newest and strangest challenge yet: college. Slash/AU/DCU/M0ffins.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 51,894 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 10/18/2008 - Published: 5/8/2008 - Jinx, Raven - Complete
The Devil's Fruit by Charlie42 reviews
Salazar Slytherin is an impish character who derives great amusement from causing people emotional pain. Helga Hufflepuff is his preferred victim. As he takes his dagger to a rotten apple, Salazar toys mercilessly with Helga's supple emotions.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,238 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/15/2008 - Salazar S., Helga H. - Complete
Of Life and Lies by Emerald Olive reviews
Chronicles the tale of the Dumbledore family: the story of a family, once whole and happy, that was slowly broken apart by vengeance, ambition, love, life, and lies.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,137 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 8/16/2007 - Albus D., Kendra D.
Are You Awake? by kaymbee reviews
Only one bed in her infirmary was still filled, but that one occupant concerned Poppy Pomfrey greatly. It was going to take a different kind of medicine than Poppy could provide to rouse Lavender Brown from her bed.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,592 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Lavender B., Parvati P. - Complete
The Rooftop by TrippWire reviews
A collection of self-contained vignettes on the roof of the Titan's Tower. Variety of styles and moods. Ratings from K to T.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,284 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/23/2008 - Published: 7/18/2006
After The War by marauder-xx reviews
Neville reminisces after the war and someone comes along and helps him. R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 503 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/20/2008 - Neville L., Parvati P. - Complete
Little Ties by SushiChica reviews
In growing up with friends, there are millions of bonds to be made, broken, and mended. Romance lives and dies, but in the end there will always be those little ties that bind. 100 bits of friendship and love. Assorted Pairings Drabbles and Oneshots
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 10,186 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 7/1/2008 - Published: 6/27/2006
Through Thick and Thin by breeutiful reviews
Hannah Abbott isn't quite the same after her mothers death, but she knows they'll always be there. - HannahJustinErnie, friendship
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 882 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Hannah A. - Complete
Fate Accompli: Spending Indulgences by Krahae reviews
Jinx's talent has always been that one in a million chance, but when she decides to press her luck against Trigon's prophesy, will her growing relationship with Raven survive? A tale of two young women who against the odds, find happiness. Part 1of?, DCU.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 188,475 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 5/19/2008 - Published: 10/11/2007 - Jinx, Raven
The Last Son by Only Sometimes reviews
A look through the eyes of Dennis Creevey at his brothers funeral.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/9/2008 - Dennis C., Colin C. - Complete
A Typical Day at the Office by WritingJunkie reviews
A day in the office at the Ministry
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 582 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Alastor M., N. Tonks - Complete
Alright After All by CaptainSammish reviews
Seamus and Dean are reunited after the Battle of Hogwarts. Oneshot, nonslashy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 577 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/12/2008 - Dean T., Seamus F. - Complete
Restless by gothic mischief reviews
She treasured these quiet moments. Knew they were hard to come by. She just wished her brain would understand that and let her meditate. Very Brief mentions of season 4. Random scene, no real point to it.
Teen Titans - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,051 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/1/2008 - Raven, Robin - Complete
Same Time Next Year? by Krahae reviews
Christmas in Jump City is never dull, as Raven and Jinx would attest. Neither of them wished for what Santa brought this year, but the two may get more from the holidays than they planned. Malls, monsters and photo booths are just the start. slash.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 42,062 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/26/2008 - Published: 12/23/2007 - Jinx, Raven - Complete
His Bookworm by atruwriter reviews
She was beautiful when she was ranting... :Cedric/Hermione - OneShot:
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,303 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 36 - Published: 1/10/2008 - [Cedric D., Hermione G.] - Complete
The Caged Bird by Jashire reviews
Raven's life before she met the Titans...told in a whole new way. ch. 10 will be up soon!
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 67,452 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/28/2007 - Published: 7/10/2006 - Raven
Dead Letters by Krahae reviews
And I wrote her letters... The morbid irony of it wasn't lost on me. Dead letters. A term the Post uses for undeliverable mail. Some, a letter you'd write someone who you needed to say something to, but never intend to have read. I wrote dead letters.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,426 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/23/2007 - Jinx, Raven - Complete
Love Letters by 716799 reviews
[Oneshot, Grindeldore] O, long is the march of men and long is the life and wide is the span. (The love story of Dumbledore and Grindelwald, in reverse.)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,229 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/19/2007 - Albus D., Gellert G. - Complete
Overture by Lastrael Noir reviews
Red X has been stalking a certain member of the titans since his mysterious disappearance,now she has found out.They both try to fight their emotions,but neither can deny the attraction to each other. RaexRobxRedx
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 52,844 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 12/16/2007 - Published: 7/19/2005 - Raven, Red-X
Whitewater by GuardianSaiyoko reviews
A collection of short stories about the Teen Titans, mainly exploring implied scenes in the series.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 58,343 - Reviews: 610 - Favs: 420 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 12/8/2007 - Published: 8/16/2006
The Portrait by atruwriter reviews
A tragic death leads Remus and Harry to the unveiling of a portrait of The Blacks. A couple whose love for each other was evidenced even after death. [One Shot SiriusHermione]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,355 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 896 - Follows: 116 - Published: 11/16/2007 - [Hermione G., Sirius B.] - Complete
Bruises (& podfic) by picascribit reviews
1891: Seven-year-old Aberforth doesn't understand what happened to his sister Ariana. Warning: implied rape of a child. Edited June 2014, podfic available at AO3.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 598 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/6/2007 - Albus D., Ariana D., Aberforth D. - Complete
Something in the Post by CaptainSammish reviews
A nonslashy story about Seamus and Dean, in which Dean is visiting Seamus at home in Ireland and the two go out to grab the morning mail.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,188 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Published: 8/22/2007 - Dean T., Seamus F. - Complete
Twins by Amara Anon reviews
Padma and Parvati Patil were identical in every way. Until the day they came to Hogwarts. Drabble.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 711 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/8/2007 - Padma P., Parvati P. - Complete
A Thousand Shades of Gray by cimple reviews
Slade's back and this time he has the perfect plan to ensure his little apprentice will stay loyal to the end. The Elixir is the perfect cure for Robin's stubborn attitude. Only thing is, Red X captured the wrong Titan ... whoops ...
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 18 - Words: 113,408 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 8/3/2007 - Published: 3/21/2007 - Red-X, Raven - Complete
You Promised Me a Duel by Charissa Eden reviews
[Deathly Hallows Spoilers] A young witch reflects on everything that he meant to her.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,460 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Alastor M., OC - Complete
Break by Elihu reviews
AU :: We are the Titans. Kneel before us and tremble.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Crime/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,317 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/27/2007 - Published: 7/26/2005 - Complete
When We Were Younger by LightPrevails reviews
A story about Mai and Zuko when they were children. There will be other characters and I rated it K plus just to be safe. R&R.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 36,141 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/3/2007 - Published: 1/22/2007 - Zuko, Mai - Complete
Aquila Rapax by Qoheleth reviews
In which a regrettably vague prophecy, a paranoid Potions master, and a platter of Mexican empanadas conspire to show yet another Defence against the Dark Arts teacher the door.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,373 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Horace S., OC - Complete
Metastasis by Qoheleth reviews
It just keeps growing... and growing... and growing...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,580 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/18/2007 - Godric G., Albus D. - Complete
Survivor by atruwriter reviews
Waiting. He was always waiting. He'd already buried one best friend and now the other will follow. There was nothing he could do or say. There was no Harry without Hermione. Ron witnessed the beginning and now he must accept the end. HHr. 4parts Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 37,668 - Reviews: 537 - Favs: 1,059 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 4/8/2007 - Published: 3/26/2007 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Miscues by Qoheleth reviews
In which a misunderstanding arises about the meaning of the word "billiard", 4,000,000,000,000,000 Bludgers attack Hogwarts, the Room of Requirement eats a Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, and Argus Filch saves the day, not necessarily in that order.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,772 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/3/2007 - S. Vector, Argus F. - Complete
Though Darkness Bind My Eyes by yarrow and thyme reviews
In the darkest of nights, hope can be found.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 460 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/26/2007 - Hannah A., Ernie M. - Complete
Jade by CalliopeMused reviews
Deathstroke is in Jump City, something is wrong with Raven's powers, and that isn't even the weird part. [Follows events of Red]
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,241 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/23/2007 - Published: 1/16/2007 - Raven, Beast Boy - Complete
No Choice by A-Quest-of-Scales reviews
Sequel to Chess Game. It's been ten years since Raven left and the Titans are scattered, some kept in touch... some didn't. But now they're in trouble... SladexRaexNightwing pairing
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,018 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 3/5/2007 - Published: 7/29/2005 - Raven, Slade
Into the Void by inkslinger.x reviews
Mrs. Crouch wants nothing more than an ending.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,015 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/4/2007 - Barty C. Jr., Barty C. Sr. - Complete
Being Harry by strykr reviews
James thinks he's going to die and he begins writing his son a letter. Just in case...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,588 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/19/2007 - Published: 1/1/2007 - James P., Harry P.
Buzzed by Roses on Thursdays reviews
She likes her coffee with cream and sugar. He likes his strictly black. That's only the beginning of their differences. 2 AM every morning, a cup of coffee each, buzzed on the caffeine. Rolling pumpkins, literature love and unfortunate relationships. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 33,138 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 2/14/2007 - Published: 12/21/2005 - Hermione G., Blaise Z.
A Child's Christmas Present by Rena Redhead reviews
Christmas is a time of Gift Giving. It's an innocent thing, but brings heart filling joy to everyone.
Teen Titans - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,161 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/28/2007 - Jericho, Slade - Complete
Night Jewel by StormDancer reviews
She is the dark jewel of the night, and I have always had a weakness for jewels. RedxRae
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,875 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 1/28/2007 - Published: 7/3/2006 - Raven, Red-X - Complete
The Defenestration of Cornelius Fudge by Qoheleth reviews
Being a scrupulously researched account of the first meeting of Cornelius Fudge and Margaret Thatcher. Well, scrupulously researched in the sense that I looked up which way Downing Street runs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,131 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/17/2007 - C. Fudge - Complete
Memories: A Prince's First Ball by empyreality reviews
Not all memories are bad. Zuko's first ball. chibi maiko
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,689 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Zuko, Mai - Complete
Impulses by StormDancer reviews
AU Impulse:a sudden wish or urge that prompts a unmeditated feeling or act. It all sounds very nice on paper. But that one feeling can change a life forever. RaexSpe,BBxTer,CyxJinx,RobxStar, AquaxBee
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,405 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/22/2006 - Published: 4/30/2006 - Raven, Speedy - Complete
Trying To Do the Right Thing by finalitylife reviews
Sometimes the right choice is not always what it seems, sometimes itis nearly impossible to find, and sometimes the right choice hurts to grasp on to. Important choices are never easy, but choices must be made, something Robin is beginning to understand.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 42 - Words: 167,856 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 12/11/2006 - Published: 6/27/2005 - Robin, Raven - Complete
A Sorting Song by Dumbledore by Qoheleth reviews
A companion to Textualsphinx's "A Sorting Song by Severus". Nobody outdoes Albus when it comes to patter songs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 677 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Published: 12/3/2006 - Sorting Hat, Albus D. - Complete
Wounded by snape'smistress-in-law reviews
Though they look cool and collected at first glance, a closer look reveals that the House of Black is full of wounds.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,938 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/7/2006 - Published: 5/23/2006
Falling Stars by Lucillia reviews
Everyone's heard of Dedalus Diggle's display of shooting stars in Kent. What most people don't know is why he did it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 36 - Published: 10/19/2006 - Dedalus D. - Complete
The Library at Night by Inell13 reviews
There was something so peaceful about the library at night
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,680 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/30/2006 - Hermione G., Viktor K. - Complete
A Broken Soul by Pied Flycatcher reviews
What exactly is the nature of a soul? And when Lord Voldemort so willingly split his own soul in half, what damage did he do to himself? Oneshot.
Crossover - Harry Potter & His Dark Materials - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,826 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 18 - Published: 9/27/2006 - Voldemort - Complete
Midnight Masquerade by Midnight Shopping reviews
A Midnight Masquerade leads Raven into the arms of a stranger...or is he? Lemon.
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,441 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 30 - Published: 9/13/2006 - Raven, Red-X - Complete
Weatherby by Rachel-Jane Kensington reviews
Percy's always worked hard at the ministry and now they're moving his desk! Why does no one appreciate him? But maybe this time, the mixup comes with a good ending...Be warned, fluff ahoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,533 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/30/2006 - Percy W., OC - Complete
Kindred by Vicki So reviews
Pawns of their parents' power struggle, the heirs to the throne find comfort and love in each other. A tale of court intrigue and forbidden love between the prince and princess of the Fire Nation. An AU ZukoAzula incest fic, written for loveroftheflame.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,108 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 41 - Published: 8/14/2006 - Zuko, Azula - Complete
Vision by Sherbet Mayhem reviews
Chapter ONE uploaded and COMPLETE! :D Huzzah! An inexplicable case of selfmutilation. A downward spiral. A locust under the chair. A shadow. A mirror. A challenge. Two fish in murky waters. The turning of tables and incoming doom. The one ring. Man's gred
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,795 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/8/2006 - Published: 9/6/2005 - Raven, Robin
Giving Yourself by Japhith reviews
Speedy needs help, and Raven is going to give it to him if he wants it or not. Even if it means trapping him in a one bedroom apartment with her. Even if it means forcing him through terrible pain. Even if it means giving herself to him... completely.
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,575 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 27 - Published: 7/6/2006 - Raven, Speedy - Complete
Crazy Diamond by Snapelover11 reviews
The last sane moments of Frank and Alice Longbottom. One Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,563 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Published: 6/8/2006 - Alice L., Frank L. - Complete
Saving Grace by Snapelover11 reviews
Severus Snape struggles to find his way, and redemption, after the war. One shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,524 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/7/2006 - Severus S., OC - Complete
Wedding Bells by WargishBoromirFan reviews
Bill's wedding seemed like the perfect occassion for Ron to ask Hermione a niggling question... HBP spoilers.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,356 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/8/2006 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Fleur D. - Complete
Aftermath by CaptainSammish reviews
In the immediate aftermath of the last battle, the survivors struggle to pick up the pieces. Rated 'T' for graphic death and thematic elements.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,885 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/9/2005 - Harry P.
May Contain Nuts by WargishBoromirFan reviews
HBP Chapter 1 spoilers. Don't say I didn't warn you. Spying for the Order, working undercover for the Ministry, keeping the Prime Minister from going crazy… Just another day in the life of Kingsley Shacklebolt.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,133 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 9/7/2005 - Alastor M., Kingsley S. - Complete
Fool's Law by WargishBoromirFan reviews
Tonks genfic written on a challenge. And you thought your first job interview was rough... Try Moody.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,327 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/21/2005 - N. Tonks, Alastor M., Kingsley S. - Complete
Namesake by WargishBoromirFan reviews
Drabblefic: Tonks has a surprise for Remus Lupin. Is he ready for a new set of responsiblities?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Published: 8/6/2005 - Sirius B., Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
The Last Survivor by CaptainSammish reviews
A oneshot story that takes place more than fifty years after the Last Battle, in which the last one living who remembers it all takes time to reflect.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 509 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/6/2005 - Neville L. - Complete
Missing Letters by WargishBoromirFan reviews
The war is over, and Molly Weasley and Hermione Granger face their first Christmas without an R or an H on a sweater. Despite the genres, it's actually rather fluffy. Written for the Voldemort Wins challenge on LJ. Warning: Character death.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,226 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Published: 11/7/2004 - Hermione G., Ginny W., Molly W., Arthur W. - Complete
London Fog by LeCoeur reviews
Remus takes a walk, reminiscing and learning to accept his new reality. Spoilers for OotP. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,828 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/16/2003 - Remus L. - Complete
Perfect Lilies by LeCoeur reviews
Draco and Narcissa have a fight over lilies, loyalties, and Lucius.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,504 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Published: 8/16/2003 - Draco M.