Dalia N'Shard
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Poll: What are vampires to you? Vote Now!
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Joined 05-01-06, id: 1037968, Profile Updated: 05-12-09
Author has written 23 stories for Hellsing, Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland, Misc. Anime/Manga, Fairy Tales, Lion King, Sweeney Todd, and Redwall.

For hundreds of years now, many authors have written fantasies about our superior race.
We are described as beautiful, dangerously erotic, immortal creatures that thrive on a diet of blood and vanity.
Often we find these literary tributes quite flattering, except for a recent series which has caused quite an uproar due to the terrible misrepresentation of our race.
This exact reason has prompted me to write this personal message for Stephanie Meyer to please never ever from this moment on, consider herself as a vampire author.
We certainly do not need delusional women fantasizing one of us as their life mates and we certainly were not meant to sparkle in the sun. The Sun. How could any Vampire author think of creating such distasteful imagery of us?
No, we're creatures of the dark and it should be meant to stay that way.
It has been a rather unsettling three years of annoying fan girls thinking this Edward Cullen is the epitome of the model vampire soul mate. We wished she 'd asked our consent before publishing this nonsense of a series.
Although our vampire fan base has considerably grown, personally you have not done us any favor Ms. Meyer. We will never consider these new fans as true ones, because obviously they do not understand the real concept of our race.
I daresay no authors really have managed to grab this concept as well Anne Rice or Bram Stoker.
True vampire fans will understand what we're trying to imply, and if Stephanie Meyer was one, then she should have never had the audacity to pen this disastrous Twilight series. Not to mention that her writing style looks like a horribly, uneducated vampire-obsessed fourteen year old's, rather than a college educated woman's.
Yes, we are quite angry as any other being would be if some woman thought she knew a thing or two about us and decided to profit from it, we personally feel cheated. This message is not only for Stephanie Meyer but also to future aspiring vampire authors.
If you plan on being the next Stephanie Meyer, we are not interested and we certainly will not be pleased to have any association of our race with your writings. We have been a damned race for thousands of years and we deserve more literary masterpieces. I end this with a bottom-line: the last thing we need is distasteful teen fictions of immature infatuation.
-Vampire Community.
If you feel the same way, copy and paste this to your profile.

Favorate Movies:Dark Knight, Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars, Fried Green Tomatoes, Last Of The Dogmen

Favorate TV Series:M.A.S.H., Faulty Towers, Home Inprovement,Twilight Zone.

Favorate Songs: Hellsing theme songs, I Write Sins Not Tradigys:Panic At The Disco, Land Of Confusion:Disturbed

Favorate SW races: Tuskens, Chiss, Zabrak, Twi'lekk


Hellsing:A&I, A&R, S&P, R&C, R&I, AA&H

Artimis Fowl:H&A, H&T

NJO:Anakin&Tahira, Jacen&Tenal,Jaina&Jagg

other links http:///

I have also been given permission to post a link to a totally wonderful/hilarious web comic, a Hellsing fan comic called And Shine Heaven Now located at http:///

Fannons: Hellsing, LOTR, Star Wars, Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass/Looking Glass Wars/American McGee's Alice, POTO.


Please not while I'm eating your cousin

~May 28th 2007

My history teacher should be happy; I went back in time, kidnapped Prince Rudolph, brought him to the future and interviewed him

but I'm not sending him back

~August 2nd 2007

The greatest geniuses are mad men

August 26, 2007

VINCENT GLOMPAGE!! All hail the King of Emo!!

November 2, 2007

Have you glomped your emo ex-turk today?

November 2, 2007

Little boys,promised glory,sent to slaughter.

December 18, 2007

said in reference to WWI but applying to all wars

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you were sad when Steve Irwin died, copy this into your profile.

Pyromanic? Put this in your profile.

If you have ever heard of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, the weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever been Obessed to the point of fangirlish/fanboyishly in love with a historical person, copy and paste this to your profile ( RUDOLF FRANZ KARL DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF!! clings to the Austrian Crown Prince)

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

If you think Archduke Rudolph Franz Karl Joseph was murdered, copy and paste this to your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

For some reason, 68 percent of the Phangirl population thinks Christine should have gone with Erik. If you're part of the intelligent 32 percent who thinks she should have just fallen in a hole and died, sparing Erik the painful torture of living with her, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: MyMindIsMyDarkSanctuary, Phantomofthebasket, BlackTippedRose, PhantomPenguin, dark-hearted rose, LisalikesPhantom, WanderingTeen Dalia N'Shard

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list, Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, WanderingTeen Dalia N'Shard

my family's expectations of a perfect angelic little daughter makes me feel caged, thats why my tempers so short if it's the same with you copy and paste this to your profile.

me, I'm the sort of person who'd go up to Marilyn Manson in the middle of a crowded room and say ever so politely " Excuse me Mister Warner, would your girlfriend mind if I hugged you?" if you would too, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you track down depressed charicters to obsess over copy ad paste this to your profile.

My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else I'm locked up

All day long.

When I'm awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy comes home,

I'll try to be nice,

So maybe I'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says it's my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!" I scream

But it's much too late

His face has been twisted

Into an unimaginable shape

The hurt and pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY THAT POEM TO YOUR PROFILE! (It makes me cry every time I read this!! -sobs-)

Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Trevor; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best;
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.
Mommy I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Trevor, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you."

In Loving Memory of The Columbine Students Who Were Lost. Please if you would, pass this around. I'd be happy if you could; don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, maybe people will cry. Just keep this in your heart for the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry" 2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are.

I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshiping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean

I haven't EVER HAD A BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be unromantic

I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I'm a BRUNETTE, so I MUST be a smart ass

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I'm a METHODIST so I MUST be lazy not caring person

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I LOVE MY FRIENDS, so I MUST be giving them something

I'm SUSPICIOUS, so I MUST be an arrogant jerk

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious

I have ADHD, so I MUST be a crazy-chick that you can't control


I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I'm a REPUBLICAN, so I MUST support everything that Bush does

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid and stuck up

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life


I am SHORT, so I MUST be young

I am A BOOKWORM, so I MUST be a dreamer

I am A DREAMER, so I MUST be insane (unrealistic)

I HAVE MANY DIFFERENT INTERESTS, so I MUST be unable to commit to one thing

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I'm SHORT, so I MUST compensate with something else

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too


Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of. BOLD ones are me.

If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profile.

Month One

I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

If you want this dang war to end, copy and paste it into you're profile

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the fsrit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this psas it on !

If you are REFUSING to believe that Heath Ledger is you-know-what, put this in your profile.

If you think Heath Ledger made The Joker too HOT for words put this in your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile.

If you are a fangirl of any villain, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever wanted to give a movie or show character a flyingtacklehug, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would rather see a Broadway show than go to an amusement park, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you hear voices of the characters of your fanfictions in your head, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.),Phish Tacko (Marty McFly, Klaus Baudelaire, Alex P. Keaton) Sugary Snicket (Danny Phantom/Fenton in my early FFN days, Durza, Dexter Morgan, Sirrus) FanofSnicket (Klaus Bauldalaire!!) Insanefangirl (Randall off monsters inc.), NicNack4U (Arnold, Aladdin, Captain Jack Sparrow, Drake Parker, Josh Nichols, Crazy Steve, Spencer, Victor van-Dort, Cosmo, Troy Bolton, Chad Danforth, Ryan Evans, Logan Reese, Chase Matthews, Pharaoh Atem/Yami, Joey Wheeler, Seto Kaiba, Duke Devillin, Jafar, Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Danny Fenton/Phantom). jafarjasmineforever2005: Jafar, Aladdin, Frollo, and lot's more (There's been tons).Takara410 (Itachi,aladdin,snaraku,seshomaru,sasori ,dei -dei kun Jack sparrow, will turner ,crazy steve, freddy, micheal myer swhen he was younger,hao, zuko and tons more ooh CHASE YOUNG a sexy beast.), OutcastToReality(L from Death Note, and THE BEST FRICKIN' VILLAIN TO EVER WALK THE EARTH: THE JOKER from Dark Knight) Holly Quinn (The Joker -sigh-)Dalia N'Shard (Joker, Dark Walter, Hans Gunsche, Jack Sparrow, Severus Snape, Erik, Atem, 2005 Riddler, Ghoul, and presently, Joker

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes your umbrella and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!"

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

When Life gives you lemons squirt them in Life's eyes!

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin' "DAMN! We messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit!

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental
Hospital .

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just
mess it up.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE? Please Note: I will update this frequently, just for variety, and because I get new music, a LOT.

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and allot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Dead Man's Party-Clear Static

Waking Up: Long Hard Road Out Of Hell-Marilyn Manson

First Day At School: Tourniquet-Marilyn Manson

Falling In Love: Beneath a Phrygian Sky-Loreena McKennit

Fight Song: Inside The Fire-Disturbed

Breaking Up: Fingerling's Childhood-Harry Gregson-Williams

Prom night: 24-Jem

Life: Hallelujah-Rufus Wainwright

Mental Breakdown: I Don't Like The Drugs (But The Drugs Like Me)-Marilyn Manson

Driving: Welcome to My Life-Simple Plan

Flashback: Everybody's Fool-Evanescence

Getting back together: Bitemarks And Bloodstains-Finch

Wedding: The Sharpest Lives-My Chemical Romance

Birth of Child: Desert Train-Kimmie Rhodes

Final Battle: Vermilion-Slipknot

Funeral Song: Still Alive-Portal

Final Credits: Land of Confusion-Disturbed

Randomly list twelve of your favorite Batman characters:

1: Joker

2: Riddler

3: Harley Quinn

4: Mr. Freeze

5: Scarecrow

6: Harvey Dent

7: Ghoul

8: Alfred

9: Poison Ivy

10: Catwoman

11: Woof

12: Batman

01.)Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

...No...I don't think they exist...

02.)Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

...Erm...not really...no...No offense to Nora's tastes in men...He is very loyal after all..

03.)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

...that's...not possible...and sick...and wrong...

04.)Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?

Not that I've read recently, but I'm sure they exist

05.)Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Strangely enough...it's been done before...just look at Batman Forever.

06.)Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Ah, well Ivy's not really all that likely to get into a relationship with Crane, and Catwoman's not his type, least I don't think.

07.)What would happen if Seven walked in on Twelve and Two having sex?

Stand there, one eye twitching, then run away screaming.

08.)Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic?

Hmmm, Joker kicks Harley out...again, but this time she can't bunk with Ivy, because Ivy's still in Arkham, that's when she meets Catwoman...

09.)Is there such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?

...I don't think so...Alfred's kinda...and Joker well...passes out

10.)Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic:

Who let these psychos in?

11.)What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?

Please...that thought's to scary...hides in corner

12.)Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?

I don't even think there's any Seven slash on this site...

13.)Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Sure, it's actually a rather popular pairing, Harley and Ivy.

14.)Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Not that I know of, although I've chibified him.

15.)Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?


16.)What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Eh...I'm sure most anyone could figure THAT one out.

17.)If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Piano Man-Elton John

18.)If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Warning: Rated M for extreme violence, slash, and lemons.

19.)What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

"Hey little boy, wanna play?"

20.)When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Never...wait, he fear-gassed a Sue in that one fic...

21.)What is Six's super-secret kink?

He dreams of a Susan B. Anthony coin with Marilyn Monroe's voice...no, not really...

22.)Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or Sober?

Drunk...very drunk...

23.)If Three and Seven got together, who would top?

...that's kinda a draw, you see, they're both ukes...

24.)"One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, heartbroken, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name one person who should write it.

Joker and Poison Ivy are in a happy relationship until Ivy suddenly runs off with Mr. Freeze. Joker, heartbroken, has a hot one-night stand with Woof and a brief unhappy affair with Batman, then follows the wise advice of Scarecrow and finds true love with Harley Quinn.

Is there life on Mars?-Dunno

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨)¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)c a n c e r • i s n ' t • f a i r
Pass the ribbon around if you know someone who's died from, survived, or is living with cancer.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

Van Dorn: "I suppose you, like your friends, claim that Batman drove you to be a criminal?"

Hatter: "He diiiid"

Van Dorn: "As I recall your case, you brainwashed and kidnapped a woman who rejected you!"

Hatter: "Batman forced me to do it! He was going to take her away from me... I had no choice!"

Van Dorn: "You could've respected her wishes and left her alone!"

Hatter: "I WOULD'VE KILLED HER FIRST!" suddenly distressed look, turns to Judge joker. "I'd like that statement stricken from the record, please..."

Joker: surprised "Record...? Is someone supposed to be writing this down?"

Joker: "Tell me something, my friend: You ever danced with the devil, by the pale moonlight?"
Green Goblin: "Yeah, he told me you're gay."

Mad Hatter: "Tea!"

Scarecrow: "Cake!"

Mad Hatter: "Tea!"

Scarecrow: "Cake!"

Google searches for ‘I love Batman’: 20, 800, 000
Google searches for ‘I love Superman’: 11, 700, 000
Google searches for ‘I love Spiderman’: 9, 000, 000

Batman pwns all.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Jedi Council: Behind the Scenes by WearTheMask reviews
What really happens during an average day of the Jedi Council. Parody. Meaning much OOCness. Read and review!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 37 - Words: 93,910 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 2/16 - Published: 6/5/2005
Illegitimate by Sweetgrl8403 reviews
Erik died and Christine had his child after she married Raoul according to the Kay novel. Charles would like to meet Erik after Christine's death, but Erik is dead isn't he? Based ONLY on the Kay novel.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,969 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/21/2013 - Published: 5/23/2006
Shimmer & Rot by saphirefox-irl reviews
Secret Six. A story about the childhood of Peter and Alex Merkel. Ragdoll 3 and Junior. Obviously dark.
DC Superheroes - Rated: M - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,316 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/18/2011 - Published: 7/28/2009
Did I say that Out Loud? by Witch of Erie Knoll reviews
A demon comes to England, and there is no real plot. That's right all randomness is out now! AxS by request now. With a Singing, dancing, pie, and MONKEY MAN! Who knows what's next? Now playing Survivor!
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 25 - Words: 29,324 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 10/24/2010 - Published: 8/8/2006
Leviathan by Mizu-Tenshi reviews
PolandxLithuania. The flesh is weak. Poland knows that he should not, that it is the devil tempting him but how can he resist forever? It's too bad blasphemy feels so good.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,253 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Poland, Lithuania - Complete
Of Promises And Warmth by Sivaroobini Lupin-Black reviews
Promisse me, angel. When the time comess, kill me./I promise.
Good Omens - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,058 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Aziraphale, A. Crowley - Complete
Dearest Doctor Arkham by Lauralot reviews
The Joker writes a complaint letter to Arkham's administrator. Rated for language and mention of violence.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,088 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 24 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Joker - Complete
Petals in the Wind by Odi et amo reviews
Rin is kidnapped and sold as a slave! Ten years later, Sesshomaru, having given up hope of ever finding his ward, comes across her. Forgotten memories resurface, as does...love? COMPLETED
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 28,343 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 12/31/2008 - Published: 4/25/2006 - Sesshōmaru, Rin - Complete
The Grim Future by GhoulsLegion reviews
How Ghoul came to join Chronos and got his cybernetic arm. -By Lillith-
Batman Beyond - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,820 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Complete
Don't Go Out On Friday Night by LuckyLadybug reviews
When a deadly serial killer resurfaces, the police and Batman find themselves turning to the Riddler, the one person who knows the most about the threat. Somehow they must put aside their differences long enough to prevent the next murder.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Crime/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 41,955 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/31/2008 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Edward N./Riddler, E. Yin, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
I Want To See Your Wings by SunilaMoon reviews
Many years may pass, but time has not healed the empty holes. I still see you, sometimes. Sometimes it's a stranger on the street, sometimes a voice on the wind, or even a glimpse of amethyst and silver. Implied CassianxJizabel, spoilers, R&R, Thank you.
Count Cain: God Child - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,828 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 12 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Cassian, Jizabel
Kaleidoscope by LuckyLadybug reviews
The Batman verse. Riddler's thoughts following the events of Riddler's Revenge.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,579 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Edward N./Riddler - Complete
The Call by Mjulinir reviews
A sonnet about the Pied Piper of Hamlin. Because he's under appreciated...Yeah, we'll stick to that.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 229 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Complete
THINGS I WILL NOT DO by The Dragonaire reviews
Get behind the halarious secrets of our fave cats! See them list their deepest most halrious moments, updates coming soon!Includes: Misto, Munku, Tugger, Ecetera, Rumpleteazer, MungoJerrie and Macavity. Plz R&R!
Cats - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,963 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/5/2008 - Published: 5/9/2007
A Father's Love by x Rajah x reviews
UPDATED! Chap 29: Leia and Han learn the truth! Post ROTJ AU. The Chosen One, struggling through the trials of redemption, is granted the chance to show his daughter his true self. Can Anakin save himself and his daughter from the darkness?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 30 - Words: 88,004 - Reviews: 786 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 5/1/2008 - Published: 4/19/2006 - Anakin Skywalker, Leia O.
Adversus Solem Ne Loquito by Defying.Expectations reviews
Severus Snape goes back in time with one mission: to kill his younger self. The reason? So Lily Evans can live the life that she deserves. Because if he were dead, if he had never told Lord Voldemort the prophecy, then she would still be alive.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,759 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/11/2008 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The True Tale as Told by Manikin by Melchinafan reviews
The story of Rumpelstiltskin, twisted into a more psychological trip.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 403 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Complete
Mirror Image by k123 reviews
Snow White -- She's not the fairest, not anymore, and she's accepted her new role in the faerie tale. All princesses have to grow up sometime. Review?
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 499 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Complete
Samson and Delilah by Crystalwren reviews
For each man kills the thing he loves... revised bonus chapter notes
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 40,959 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 2/6/2008 - Published: 8/20/2005 - Complete
The Lemon Bird by haru's reviews
The magic lemon bird, who makes smexy boys hot for each other, is on the loose. His next targets are Light and L. WARNING: extreme crack, yaoi, lemon.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/1/2008 - L, Light Y. - Complete
Locked Inside by IDOL HANDS reviews
Don’t you wonder occasionally, what’s really inside? Short prose dark themes, suggestion of death
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2007 - Complete
Eyes by witchfingers reviews
[Drabble] It’s their eyes, not their lips, the ones that speak. [Rip x Hans]
Hellsing - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Complete
The Diary of Sir Arthur Hellsing by Tintenschwert reviews
Arthur Hellsing, Chief of the Hellsing Organisation has to deal with many problems including a 13 year old butler, a vampire looking like a girl and Hellsing´s daily madness. predawn, with young walter and girlycard.and including alcohol.betaed by moralit
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,997 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/19/2007 - Published: 8/25/2006
Requiem by Ariana Malfoy- Lestrange reviews
Draco Malfoy and Cho Chang are both a little lost. And it takes them to find each other to find themselves again. A love story, of sorts, that spans from the beginning of HBP to the end of HBP. And further? Perhaps. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 47,353 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/13/2007 - Published: 4/30/2006 - Cho C., Draco M. - Complete
Random Hellsing Tales by Agent HUNK reviews
A collection of bizarre Hellsing stories. Food fights, awkward romances, strange conversations, odd dreams, suicide missions, and utter idiocy on a massive scale. Rated T for violence, language, and stuff. OFFICIALLY THE GREATEST STORY I HAVE EVER WRITTEN
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 30,485 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 6/4/2007 - Published: 10/27/2006 - Complete
Wellington School For Young Ladies by sinful innocence reviews
AU. AxI, Some SxP. Integra Hellsing, from a noble and secretive family, starts at a new college and meets many new people. AxI SxP AU, but still contains vampires.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,647 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 5/20/2007 - Published: 7/15/2006
Welcome to Drabbledom! by Kelitzo reviews
A series of Artemis Fowl drabbles, mostly centering on conversation and characters doing and saying stupid things. 100 to 200 words. Please R&R
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 6,110 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 4/17/2007 - Published: 6/19/2006 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Eight Words: The Story of Veil by TaheenKiller19 reviews
What if Veil had survived? This tale of a ferret's redemption takes place about 6 seasons after The Outcast of Redwall. Please R&R.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 28,172 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/8/2007 - Published: 12/8/2004
Dooriya by BuntyBadger reviews
After a nasty incident in paris, Esmerelda learns the reason behind Clopin's actions. BASED ON DISNEY VERSION!
Hunchback of Notre Dame - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,188 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/14/2007 - Complete
Empty Rooms by Kat097 reviews
A short poem of what happens in a house on a lake.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 216 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/6/2007 - Erik - Complete
The Morning After by Twinings reviews
All he wanted was to go back to sleep. Really. That's all.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,131 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/1/2007 - J. Crane/Scarecrow - Complete
Big monster vs Little monster by TurboFerret reviews
There is only one thing Alucard fears, and that makes Seras happy. Yiihaa the next chapter Hellsings adventures in the water amusement park are finally up.
Hellsing - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,051 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 12/23/2006 - Published: 4/23/2006 - Alucard, Integra
Dawn of the Future by s.j. snodgrass reviews
Young Walter and Girly card take a visit to the future, where they encounter their future bosses, enemies, and selves.
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,688 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 12/13/2006 - Published: 7/29/2006
Through the Broken Looking Glass:Hatter's stories by Riddler of the Sphnix reviews
Oneshots! The Hatter laments the lose of his friends at his own hands, and trys to make up for past mistakes. Read Through the Broken Looking Glass to understand. Also various Hatter drabbles.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,726 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/12/2006 - Published: 7/3/2005
We Three Fops of Paris so Far by Mrs. Optimus Prime reviews
This song is making fun of all the fops in the world including their leader Raoul. Okay here's a hint: BANG!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 71 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/15/2006 - Erik - Complete
The little red ridinghoood by TurboFerret reviews
E WARNED THIS STORRY IS OFFENSIVE the last chapter is out in which you shall find the answers to the questions you had when reading the previous chapters! AND THE PROOF THAT MY BRAINISSTILL INTACT :D
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,497 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/17/2006 - Published: 6/18/2006
Atonement by Thess reviews
But the Professor did not move to do it, instead he asked a simple question: “What now, Count? Are you ready, monster? Do you want to die?” . The beginning of Alucard’s service to the Hellsing bloodline.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,140 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/4/2006 - Alucard - Complete
Through the Broken Looking Glass by Riddler of the Sphnix reviews
Dedicated to Fudge1.Thing have changed since Alice last trip. The Hatter and the Hare are no longer having their tea parties, and the Alice they once had known is gone. In her place they call her niece to save them from the nightmare that is Wonderland.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 35,115 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 7/29/2006 - Published: 7/3/2005
Wake up, Walter by s.j. snodgrass reviews
There are often times when sleeping people do not want to be woken up, and Walter is no exception. Oneshot.slight YWxGC
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/3/2006 - Complete
Revenge by s.j. snodgrass reviews
We all know Arucard loathes Van Helsing. Now, what would happen if he gets it in his pretty little head to kill the last Hellsing? Can he? Will he? First fic, hope you like it.
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,130 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/2/2006 - Published: 10/31/2005 - Complete
The evil elevator by s.j. snodgrass reviews
A little elevator ride is nothing to be afraid of, right? Well, for Arucard the answer might be a bit different.
Hellsing - Rated: K - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 729 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/26/2006 - Complete
A Breath Away by Thess reviews
"They used to look so happy, Seras recalled, smiling and picking the rings up." AxI, mentions of PxS. Seras' POV. Manga set.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,842 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/21/2006 - [Integra, Alucard] [Seras, Pip] - Complete
Fair play by Ninjamuffin13 reviews
Corndogs, stuffed kitties, and clowns abound when Seras manages to drag Alucard around. Where? The fair! Read if you dare, but beware: though this ain't crack, it's kinda whack!
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,666 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/15/2006 - Published: 8/27/2005 - Alucard, Seras - Complete
Building Trust by Thess reviews
After a tiring practice, Pip Bernadotte finds his room completely trashed. The culprit? Seras Victoria. Slight Pip x Seras.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,719 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/14/2006 - [Pip, Seras] Integra, Walter - Complete
Icarus and Daedalus by Ariana Malfoy- Lestrange reviews
It's not the end, it's the beginning. Sort of. Draco Malfoy is dead, and Lucius Malfoy is alive. Sort of.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,971 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/9/2006 - Draco M., Lucius M. - Complete
Speak For Me by Cosplaygirl03 reviews
Now as for me, I don't want anything for Christmas...except for one thing....I want you to speak for me. RipxCaptain....please review
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,021 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Published: 6/9/2006 - Complete
Cease Fire by skullanddog reviews
An ickle Rip Van Winkle oneshot
Hellsing - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 590 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/7/2006 - Complete
Substitute by Thess reviews
Integra was correct about something. Seras Victoria was meant to substitute someone. A study of Alucard's reasons make a vampire. Set in volume 1 but spoilers for volume 8. Implied pairings.
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,138 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/2/2006 - [Alucard, Integra] Seras - Complete
American Pie by s.j. snodgrass reviews
I didn't know you could play the guitar. Seras admitted. There isn't that much you know about me out side of a profesional standing, is there?
Hellsing - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,402 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/29/2006 - Complete
Twilight by Thess reviews
For every dawn there is a dusk. The conflict in London might be over, but the war continues across the globe. How would Integral cope with an injured, human Alucard, a Seras who is still adapting about her new role and Walter nowhere to be found?
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,547 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 5/19/2006 - Published: 3/3/2006 - [Alucard, Integra] [Pip, Seras]
My Fair Lady by The Blue Zoo reviews
One Shot. Alucard muses over his Master. Onesided AxI
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 642 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/16/2006 - Complete
Happy Endings by Thess reviews
How long must the spell be lifted from the Beast so he and the Beauty could achieve a happy ending? A fairytale shaped Alucard x Integral ending for the Manga.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,014 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/3/2006 - [Integra, Alucard] Seras - Complete
Karma by Thess reviews
Plagued by strange dreams and vivid hallucinations, Integral Hellsing must face her relatives in India and the remnants of a past that used to be hers. Alucard x Integral. Set in the Manga.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,943 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 4/30/2006 - Published: 10/20/2005 - [Integra, Alucard]
Remember all that you once knew by s.j. snodgrass reviews
Integra has a little accident, and now has memory loss. Just read it. My summaries are always bad. Rating may go up.
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,209 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/14/2006 - Published: 4/12/2006 - Complete
Coffin Nails by Thess reviews
A teen butler afraid of his hormones and his genderbending lolita vampire partner in a brief tale of ‘love’ and ‘deceit’ as both travel across Poland on her Coffin. Young Walter x Girlycard x ?
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,613 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/1/2006 - Alucard, Walter - Complete
Memories of a forgotten Past by MichelleKelly reviews
CaptainXRip Slightly. Hans losese everything in a split second, and he doesn't know what to do.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,803 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/16/2006
Control by Thess reviews
After turning sixteen, Integral Hellsing becomes a target for verbal advances in social circles. To avoid looking weak among her equals, she decides to make her embarrassment fade by… exploring the male anatomy first hand in the safest way possible. IxA.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,379 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/15/2006 - [Integra, Alucard] - Complete
Discussions by s.j. snodgrass reviews
Just Integra and Arucard talking
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 842 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/6/2006 - Complete
Fixation by Thess reviews
"So we are even. The human who stops her aging slightly, the vampire who doesn't." An Alucard x Integral story for hopeless romantics.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,805 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/14/2005 - [Integra, Alucard] - Complete
Finale by Thess reviews
"He always knew how everything was going to end up since the very day they met." Alucard x Integral. One Shot, Manga set.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 765 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/5/2005 - [Alucard, Integra] - Complete
Droplets by Thess reviews
Integral's finger did not heal after she fed Seras. Alucard x Integral. One Shot.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 896 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/22/2005 - [Integra, Alucard] - Complete
Chimera by Thess reviews
A decade after War World Three, Alucard and Integral fulfil their goals. AlucardxIntegral. One shot. Manga ficlet.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,753 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/27/2005 - [Alucard, Integra] - Complete
Defy You may change by RancidBlood reviews
All about Integra in a sitution I thought fit with this song. Deft you by Offspring.
Hellsing - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 792 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/25/2005
Silent as the Dead by Warm-Ice reviews
a song fic. The door opens to a dungeon where Alucard was imprisoned once again. His mind relays all that transpired 18 years ago. AxIish.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,783 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/30/2005 - Complete
Slaves of Fashion by Thess reviews
Because sometimes even the closest couples argue over petty matters such as wardrobe or the lack thereof. PipxSeras & AlucardxIntegral. One shot. Manga ficlet.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,499 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/5/2005 - [Alucard, Integra] [Seras, Pip] - Complete
The Promised Future by Padawan Di-Lee reviews
Captured at age 4 and raised as a Sith by the Emperor, Luke is caught in a power struggle between Vader and Palpatine when he encounters Leia and has a whole new dimension added to his life.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 98,377 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 6/7/2005 - Published: 2/12/2002 - Luke S., Darth Vader
Matriarch by Thess reviews
Abraham van Helsing, Mina and Dracula. A vignette of the beginnings of the Hellsing Organisation. One shot.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,594 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/5/2005 - Alucard - Complete
What Should Have Happened by Kat097 reviews
Based on the ALW 2004 movie. What Christine SHOULD have done when faced with Phantom's choice. Bashing of every character, designed to be amusing!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,709 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/1/2005 - Complete
The Ballad of the Second Son by l-dhenson reviews
Faramir gets a few words in.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 283 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/3/2005 - Faramir - Complete
Eins zwei drei vier by van Helsing reviews
Rip van Winkle fic. A re-write of what happened in Manga 5, and backstory. All characters are property of Kouta Hirano, all lyrics property of the artists. (full credits at the end of the story)
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,850 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/12/2005 - Published: 12/26/2003
Target by Thess reviews
"Samiel was her target, it did not matter if he was the Devil. His identity was irrelevant in the hunt." Trapped inside a world of pure darkness, Rip van Winkle fights Alucard's attempts to control her. Manga set. [Gift dedicated to Rip of Blood Knight].
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,033 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/19/2004 - Rip Van Winkle - Complete
Upon a kender by the fire by Kalin-Fireyes reviews
read it
Dragonlance - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 367 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/14/2004
Syd by Firemoon reviews
61107. UPDATED. PART THREE NOW UP. A rewrite of the tale of Hades and Persephone.. my version of the story. Not an authentic, original story rewritten. Zeus bastardization present. Very much angst in later chapters, as well as implied rape between brothe
Greek Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,792 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/6/2004 - Published: 1/5/2004
Denethor's Demise by escapistone reviews
Boromir and Faramir rid Middle Earth of their father. AU irreverant humor fic.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 635 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/21/2004 - Boromir, Faramir
Sharktooth by Portia6 reviews
Chapter 2 up. Rip is a mocking wench. Medic tries to look up her shirt. Run medic run before Doc decides to let her have her way.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,369 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/22/2003 - Published: 5/21/2003
Lost in the Light by Chaotic Serenity reviews
Meier's grief.
Vampire Hunter D - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,590 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/26/2002
Heathens by Amberdulen reviews
Freedom fighters surrounding a fortress? .. or something more?
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/20/2001 - Complete
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The Reality of Wonderland reviews
Alice Pleasence Liddell, 17 years old, believes that Wonderland is only an imaginary world, created for her and her siblings by Reverend Dodgson. But when returning a pair of gloves left by a rather jumpy guest, she will find out just how real, and just
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,189 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/8/2009 - Published: 6/5/2008
Histories reviews
A Poem about the human Rip's thought on the Captain Hans Gunsche. Takes place after the events of Dawn.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 303 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Complete
OFUH: Official Fanfiction University of Hellsing reviews
Inspired by Carmella Sandman's Official University of Middleearth, and all the off-shoot academies. Enter At Your Own Risk.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,233 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2009
Faerie Tend reviews
And the children, your glamour, swiftly led away. For the flaws of their elders, a tend of souls must pay. This was largly inspired by Jane Yolen and Adam Stemple's Pay the Piper, so for the sake of argument it probably should be in the Misc. Books sec
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 303 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Complete
Blackrose reviews
She removed her knife from his throat, then brought it slashing across his eyes. “Fare three vell…dear bruder.” She kissed him, turned him around, and pushed him into the dark depths of the forests. A work-in-progress about my Fort Rivenwood character.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/27/2008
Hello Madman reviews
A short poem I wrote about a month ago that was so heavily influenced by Sweeney Todd that I decided to put it here instead of on my FP acount.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/4/2008 - Complete
The Hunter and the White Stag reviews
A story, really a practice in symbolism, cookie for whoever can correctly guess which historical figure this represents.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 284 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/13/2008 - Complete
Scars reviews
This is a poem I wote about Kovu shortly after discovering that his name was Kiswahili for scar. Please read and reveiw.
Lion King - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 183 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/13/2008 - Complete
The Piper's Code reviews
Balance the faults, Halt the coming tide, Whether I am hero, or villain You decide. A Pied Piper based poem
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Complete
Misc Oneshots reviews
My current Hellsing Oneshot dump.Enjoy! I will listen to any ideas for new oneshots and may consider some requests. Present content;Unspoken, Freckles, Master.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 691 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/4/2008 - Published: 2/28/2008
Evolution reviews
Black Jack is called to Germany to treat an patient who should have died nearly 80 years earlier, but there are major conciquences that come with removing someone from one time period and placing them in another. Based slightly on Evolution by Korn.
Misc. Anime/Manga - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 629 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/14/2008
Traitors Ball reviews
Integra is invited to the Solstice Ball,of course she dosen't whant to go but she's to loyal to the queen to decline a direct request.I have no idea where i got the title.A&I fic.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,258 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/13/2008 - Published: 7/18/2006
Alice reviews
This poem was mainly inspired by a combination of to much AIW and Edgar Allen Poe.Hopefully not as stupid as the summery makes it sound.Rated T just to be safe
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/28/2007 - Complete
10 6 silk top hat reviews
a poem I origenally wrote as a sequal to False Rumors of the Truth
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/5/2007 - Complete
False Rumors of the Truth reviews
“Why would I care if you went around spreading false rumors of the truth cricket?”
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 672 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/26/2007 - Complete
Holiday reviews
Random humor,possiable future pairings,Iscariot,Hellsing,Millenium, major out of charictarness
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 664 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/26/2007 - Published: 12/19/2006
Darkest Night reviews
a random short poem about Seras Victoria
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 85 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/15/2006 - Complete
Blackbird reviews
a short rather random poem about Dark Walter
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 58 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/13/2006 - Complete
Robber Death reviews
Short poem I wrote after a HP obsessed freind told me the meaning of the name Voldemort. No flame throwers please I dont usally write HP fanfics.And no I don't own any of it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/2/2006 - Voldemort - Complete
Hellsing Camp Drabble reviews
The product of a suger high and a camping trip.Warning contains mindless drabble style diolouge and burnt marshmallows.Let me know if it's funny, pointless, or just plain stupid.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/20/2006 - Complete
Twisted Love reviews
I am your iron fist, In a velvet glove,I will crush your enemies,Though you scorn my twisted love. A&I
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/19/2006 - Complete
Leave me alone reviews
Integra considers her opinion of the round table councle.And no I dont own Hellsing. Based on the TV series
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/13/2006 - Complete
Huntress reviews
A little dive into Rips mind.please don't throttle me.P.S. I dont own Rip or any other Hellsing charicters.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/13/2006 - Complete