The Undying Mongoose
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Joined 05-03-06, id: 1038860, Profile Updated: 02-15-12
Author has written 9 stories for Dresden Files, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Tin Man, Sanctuary, and Once Upon a Time.

Name: The Undying Mongoose

Age: Older than I'd like, but not old enough for my crushes on middle-aged actors to make sense

Likes: Jeremy Irons, tea with milk, Anthony Head, director's commentaries on DVDs, Daniel Craig, Broadway musicals, Patrick Stewart, fountain pens, Robert Carlyle

Dislikes: Mary-Sues, music with too many swears in it, tea with lemon, the greengrocer's apostrophe, stubborn English teachers, J.K. Rowling

I was formerly known as CentaurGirl42, before I understood that names on the internet didn't need random capital letters and pointless numbers. I am a retired agent of the PPC under the name of Agent Tomato.

The following stories are on hiatus:

Control the Wind

I still plan on finishing someday, but not in the near future. Right now, I've drifted away from Harry Potter fandom and don't have the motivation to go further.

The following stories have been discontinued:

Marigold Dursley and the Marauder's Map

The Last of the Time Lords?

Because I really don't want anyone throwing these quite amateur early works back in my face, I have removed them from the site. Sorry if you liked them.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Life with Bruce Wayne by VictorianChik reviews
As a young teenager, Dick Grayson shows what life is like with a superhero who also happens to be a stern guardian who doesn't like to be worried by his ward's carelessness. Warning: spanking in some chapters.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 79,361 - Reviews: 776 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 454 - Updated: 6/20 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Richard G./Nightwing, Bruce W./Batman
The Werewolf Who Stole Christmas by Lady Bracknell reviews
Remus manages to rob Tonks of her Christmas spirit, but helping her to get it back proves the catalyst for something a tad more lasting than a kiss under the mistletoe. RemusTonks romance through OOTP and HBP. Started before DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 284,222 - Reviews: 1790 - Favs: 1,210 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 12/21/2005 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
Those Who Falter and Those Who Fall by MissMab reviews
Poor Javert; he can't even succeed at killing himself. With his existence wiped out in the minds of all who knew him in Paris, he returns to the far reaches of his past. Bad summary, I know. My first posting.
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,535 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/19/2009 - Published: 1/20/2008 - Javert
A Life Less Extraordinary by Frostfyre7 reviews
Hired to steal a supposed alien from one of Paquin's top ringmasters, Mal Reynolds figures things are gonna go even less smooth than usual. Then a passenger calling himself 'the Doctor' shows up, and things go all manner of crazy...
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 105,503 - Reviews: 477 - Favs: 485 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 1/15/2008 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Complete
A Sarcastic Git's Golden Rules at Hogwarts by Twisted Biscuit reviews
Hogwarts has a Sarcastic Little Git inside it’s walls. That Sarcastic Little Git is deeply disgruntled. In an effort to strike out against those who annoy him [read:everybody], he is posting mocking and vaguely offensive “Guidelines” on the notice boards.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 39,607 - Reviews: 368 - Favs: 599 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 10/30/2007 - Published: 3/9/2006 - Theodore N.
Cockandbull Correspondence from the Cupboard by Twisted Biscuit reviews
Draco Malfoy, War Hero apparently, goes into hiding in the cupboard under the stairs of Number 4 Privet Drive. This is a record of his ordeal, in his own words. The veracity of his words is, naturally, open to debate...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,543 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 10/30/2007 - Published: 6/3/2007 - Draco M., Dudley D. - Complete
Disaster: See also, Remus J Lupin, lovelife of by Lady Bracknell reviews
Remus claims that his lovelife has always been a disaster. He’s had vases thrown at him, made girls cry in public and done very reckless things in broom cupboards. Mostly Marauders, RLNT eventually.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 92,510 - Reviews: 931 - Favs: 635 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 8/19/2007 - Published: 2/14/2006 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
I Blame Iendil Ancawen Entirely by crazyroninchic reviews
A Mary Sue is dropped into MiddleEarth with every intent to wreck havoc. Join one normal, canon abiding girl in her quest to stop the Sue. Poor Legolas...poor Frodo...poor Fellowship!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 24,030 - Reviews: 566 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Complete
A Match Made in Heaven? by TheMidgetBee reviews
Lord Vetinari is bored. So when Drumknott brings to his attention the fact that he and Commander Vimes are becoming gay icons in AnkhMorpork, it gives him an idea about how he could amuse himself...
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,799 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 6/7/2007 - Published: 12/26/2006 - Complete
It's just not Cricket by Moni reviews
When the annual reunion of the doctors once again threatens to turn ugly, the fifth doctor has a suggestion.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,340 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 4/8/2007 - Published: 2/9/2006
Into Warsaw by ricebol reviews
The Doctor has said goodbye many, many times, and the message rarely changes, no matter it’s a person or a universe. Eight, Romana, Time War. Rated for genocidal themes.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,727 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/21/2007 - 8th Doctor, Romana II - Complete
A Little Christmas cheer by rosie-bec reviews
The Doctor is feeling all Christmassy. Now Extended!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,584 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/27/2007 - Published: 12/2/2006 - Complete
About Two Dads by Nuitah reviews
Chapter 9, About Beards and Dresses. Blackmail, crossdressing and some more dancing daisies. Raising Harry AU, RemusxSirius.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,336 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 1/26/2007 - Published: 7/15/2006 - Remus L., Sirius B.
Ring of the Fallen by roxbury reviews
Using a ring of unknown origin, Harry is catapulted to a time where nobody knows his name. When? Where? Will he ever return to his proper tense? Or will he even want to? Pairing TBD. TimeTravel!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,282 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/7/2006 - Published: 5/30/2006 - Harry P.
The Wizard's Consort by Dark Aegis reviews
In legend, she is his downfall. In reality, she is his salvation. A Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler adventure.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,958 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 11/22/2006 - Published: 11/14/2006 - Complete
Stranger In A Strange Universe by Oy Wilson reviews
The Doctor meets the Slayer. Doctor Who & Buffy The Vampire Slayer crossover set in ALTERNATE Buffy universe around Series Three time. Set a few months after Doctor Who Xmas Special 2006, but before the start of Doctor Who Series Three.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,390 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/6/2006 - Published: 9/1/2006 - Complete
Measure of a Time Lord by Dark Aegis reviews
What is the measure of a man who walks in eternity? And, if that measurement is gone, what does that make him? A Time Lord? Or nothing at all? A Ninth Doctor, Rose Tyler adventure
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 40,623 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 10/26/2006 - Published: 10/16/2006 - Complete
The Council of Elessar by Eggo Waffles reviews
It's the Fourth Age, and a matter of Utter Seriousness has prompted Aragorn to call a council.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,086 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 7/24/2006 - Published: 1/24/2006 - Aragorn, Faramir
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus by Skyhiatrist reviews
Funny little motto, don't you think?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,439 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/28/2006 - Godric G., Salazar S. - Complete
Letters of the Four Founders by Iris Chmal reviews
Intercepted mail of the four founders. Godric decides to use owl mail to contact Rowena, Salazar and Helga. What do they write about? HUMOR!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,814 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 7/3/2005 - Published: 11/20/2003 - Salazar S., Rowena R.
Have You Got Any Stamps, Legolas? by Eggo Waffles reviews
If there had been a way for Boromir and Faramir to keep up correspondence during the Quest, it might have sounded somewhat like this. A more humorous outlook on some of the darker aspects of the War of the Ring.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,637 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/30/2005 - Published: 1/24/2005 - Boromir, Faramir - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Twenty Eight reviews
Twenty-eight years is a long time to wait. Spoilers through episode 1x12.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,195 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold - Complete
Burnt Toast reviews
A girl named Ace entered the Academy. A Time Lady emerged from the fires of the war. A tale of aliens, explosions, and tea.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,405 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/18/2010 - Published: 8/13/2010 - Dorothy M./Ace, Turlough
Another Dimension reviews
Genius meant always being alone. Almost. Spoilers through "Revelations, Part II."
Sanctuary - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,352 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Complete
Five Drabbles reviews
The story of the Doctor and Ace, from just before her departure for the Academy to the aftermath of the Time War, told in five connected drabbles. Doctor/Ace.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 644 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/14/2008 - Complete
Enter Intruder, in Balloon reviews
Ambrose's view of the day Ahamo arrived in the O.Z.
Tin Man - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,017 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Glitch, Lavender Eyes - Complete
Control the Wind reviews
AU postHBP. When a tragedy makes Theodore Nott realize that he's lost control of his life, he'll do anything to get it back...even work with his worst enemies. Rated for violence in later chapters. Please R&R! On hiatus.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,928 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/5/2007 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Theodore N.
Him reviews
It had to be him...the Doctor's thoughts at the end of Utopia. I own nothing.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/22/2007 - Complete
He Said It reviews
He hadn't said it since the war. A moment from The Runaway Bride.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/9/2007 - Complete
It Does the More Enrapture Me reviews
Tv verse. Young Harry is having nightmares, and Bob tries to help him sleep, bringing on unwanted thoughts of his own past. Not slash unless you have a very twisted mind.
Dresden Files - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,238 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Published: 4/8/2007 - Complete