Author has written 43 stories for Hogan's Heroes, Jeeves, ElfQuest, Merlin, Criminal Minds, Master and Commander, and Houdini and Doyle.
May 4, 2009
It's my third anniversary on this site today, or at least the third anniversary of when I registered a pen name and got all official (the better to harass you with, my dears). I was going to upload a new icon to celebrate, but I couldn't decide which one so I figured I'd become a hypocrite instead.
Yes, that's right, I have once again given integrity the kiss off by abandoning my personal standards and posting a story that is NOT FINISHED. Those of you happening upon here for the first time will be confused, so let me explain: for the longest time there was written here a big, long nag about slow updaters and how everyone should finish their stories before posting in order to keep things from dragging out for years. "Like a little cheese with your whine, sweetie?" I would ask myself, but I stood strong. Adamant. Unbending. In fact, nauseatingly self-righteous, I even made a promise. I promised I would always finish my stories first so that I could (and this is the important bit) never let more than a week go by between chapters. However, as those of you mathematically inclined and aware of how a calendar works could look at "What We See" and point out, said vow didn't last.
Everyone up to speed? Good.
So the new story is not finished. There will be no promises of quick updates. There will, in fact, not be any promises of updates at all beyond the next two or three chapters. I'm sorry and I'm a weak-willed louse. I freely admit it. And that's my honest profile.
May 4, 2010
Fourth anniversary updates! (You were all waiting with bated breath, I'm sure.)
Pig Lickin' Cake - one of the reviewers of my first story asked about this reference, and I have FINALLY got the information. So for all you inquiring minds, Pig Lickin' Cake (also called Mandarin Orange Cake) was from "A Taste of Georgia", a cookbook edited by Mrs. John N. White and published in 1977.
If, for some strange reason, you want to know more about me -
Pet peeves - many.
Beliefs - everyone who uses hawt, kewl, evah and moar needs a sharp smack upside the head. That also includes people who won't capitalize "I"; you're not e.e. cummings, move your finger and hit the shift key.
Everything else - My favourite vegetable is the carrot, my favourite sense is sight, and I have a fierce and abiding DISbelief in astrology. I try to keep an open mind, but that's complete horseshit and if you start in about star signs with me, I will make negative assumptions about your intelligence.
May 4, 2011
Yes, that's right, it's my anniversary today. It's been half a damn decade since I started using this site as my main tool of skillful procrastination. How very sad.
Anyway, on to the updates. There are not many this year, but they shouldn't be faulted for that.
New fandom - This year I have finally branched out into a new fandom, specifically "Jeeves and Wooster". There's only one (incomplete) story so far, but it has been an interesting change.
Livejournal - Chapters of the "Jeeves and Wooster" story mentioned above are posted simultaneously (well, relatively, not in a way I'd like to have quantum physicists measure) to my Livejournal account, where I write under the name 'backfrommars'.
More trivial facts about me to build up a picture of my psyche, albeit in an aggravating, glacially slow way -
Favourite game show - QI
Favourite fictional game show - The Quiz Broadcast
Nicknames - none, really. I'm not that type of person. However, my brother once did call me a soulless automaton of despair, so I suppose that could count as one.
May 4, 2012
Well, there's not much to tell this year. I've branched out into two more fandoms, tauntingly leaving unfinished stories in both, so now there will be even more people exasperated with me. I considered using this update to discuss the matter, but it's hard to see the point. Either I'll finish them or I won't. I can't promise anything either way, let alone give you any timeline, and I doubt you're interested in my excuses.
May 4, 2013
Only one update this year: I have waded into yet another fandom, but oh! Oh, look! All the stories in that fandom are FINISHED! Quick! Quick! Take a picture!
So on to the part of the entry where I slowly reveal random tidbits about myself like a deranged stripper waving a bare foot from behind a curtain (and this year they're all fanfic related) -
Bios - Ironically, I hate long bios, even my own. I was going to get rid of all of this, but wussed out and only trimmed it a bit. But feel free to hide the thing whenever you're looking for my stories; I do it all the time.
Summaries - I try to warn people for spoilers, but I'm ambivalent about warning for anything else. A part of reading is exploration, so my feelings are that you should take a chance. Still, I'll probably warn for anything really big, and excessively violent or sexual pieces will be "M" rated.
Stories - Whenever I read bios, I'm always puzzled by authors who say some variation of "I don't write such and such." Part of me gets it - announcing this does help some readers who are looking to avoid certain subjects feel safe in exploring their works - but I don't believe in limiting myself, even psychologically. Yes, there are certainly types of stories it's unlikely I will write, but I worry that once I start closing my mind to any options, it will affect not only the number of stories I might dream up in the future, but also shut down possible plot solutions to stories I'm working on now.
May 4, 2014
Not much to report this year. I will say I am working on finishing my incomplete pieces, but I'm also working down the list backwards, so for those waiting on really old stories, you'll still have a bit of a wait. And I apologize; I do know how annoying waiting is, and how much enjoyment it can take away from the story if it goes on long enough.
Also, I said last year that I'm ambivalent about too many warnings in my summary - this is still true. So I thought it might be a good idea to give a general warning here. My stories have tended to avoid completely over the top violence and/or sexual situations (so far), but there is the very occasional swear word and sometimes dark imagery and implied violence. I plan on continuing to not warn for these and, unless the scenarios in questions start becoming less implied and more direct, I will likely keep avoiding using the "M" section as well. If these things are not your cup of tea - which I completely understand - you might want to be careful when reading.
May 4, 2015
My fervent and heartfelt apologies to all those waiting for updates! I have fallen victim to a bizarre spatial phenomenon and as a result, my physical location teeters on a precipice of uncertainty, the universe (and myself) being undecided as to whether I should remain at my current co-ordinates (place A), return to my official domicile (place B), or light out to who knows where (place C). All of this indecision does not make it easy to plan for any structured writing time, not to mention anxiety really does a number on the creative circuits in the old brainbox.
But fear not, ideas are still percolating for all of my old unfinished stuff, and given the right confluence of events, they may form cohesive works someday!
May 4, 2016
It's my tenth anniversary on site today! Let's see, the traditional gift is tin or aluminum, so I will start watching my mail for boxes of aluminum foil! But where am I going to get enough leftovers to use all that foil on when I can't cook? Hmmm...I suppose I could make tin foil hats for me and my cat to prevent aliens from reading our minds, but neither of us has a head THAT big! (Nor minds that worth reading.)
In any case, I am still suffering from the same spatial phenomenon as last year, and have been on the precipice of uncertainty so long I'm thinking of building a cottage. But, as always, I have not given up on any of my unfinished stories, so don't give up hope! I really want to get back to "The Formation of Planets" especially.
By the way, speaking of "The Formation of Planets", I want to thank everyone who nominated me for a Profiler's Choice award, both in 2014 and 2015. I am unforgivably late in getting around to expressing my appreciation, but I want all of you to know that I was extremely touched! Thank you so very much!
May 4, 2017
Eleven. Eleven years. EEEElllleeeevvveennn yyyyeeeeaaaarrrssss...
But I digress.
Since I know how simply everyone loves these long profiles, let's have more about ME! My favourite type of sugar is brown or golden, my favourite penguin of Madagascar is Kowalski, and for a long time I could not pronounce the word "Massachusetts". I can only name seven of the twelve astronauts who have walked on the moon, currently I'm reading Orwell's "1984" (cause, you know, Trump), and I'm basically writing all of this because I can't think of anything remotely funny and/or possessing a point.
In any case, the bizarre spatial phenomenon afflicting me previously has been settled, however I haven't been doing a lot of writing lately because at the moment I don't have a computer of my own and have only been able to snag time on someone else's occasionally. Due to this, my writing muscles have atrophied quite alarmingly, so I *might* start accepting prompts as long as there's no time requirement on them.
Lastly, I want to thank everyone who nominated and/or voted for me for the PBAs! Three gold! I think that's the best I've ever done! If I had brains, now would be the time to retire, but resting on my laurels sounds uncomfortable and possibly itchy.