See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on makeup hoping people will like her.That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying.
We are all human.
Our race. Our religion. Our gender. Our sexuality. Our age. Our country of origin.
We all are human. We are all alive, living.
We all have feelings. Dreams. Thoughts. Plans. Loves.
We have the same biology, regardless of ideology. The world is broken, of course, but we, our souls, our minds, our beings, are not.
We are luminous beings. Not this crude matter. I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
We are all human.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK.
"But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "Where have you been all my life?"
Woman: "Hiding from you."
Man: "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together."
Woman: "Really, I'd put F and U together."
Man: "Your eyes they're amazing."
Woman: "Seeing your back would be pretty amazing."
I love my mother because...
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS: "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
ARGO II PUNS
Percy: Boy, there sure is something fishy going on around here.
Annabeth: Yes, it would be... wise to avoid any trouble.
Nico: No, stop this right now.
Jason: My, what a... shocking development.
Leo: Oh, yeah, things sure are heating up.
Nico: Zhang, make them stop.
Frank: Okay, guys, you all heard Nico... just let me be Frank with you.
Nico: You're all idiots.
Piper: I don't know, I find them quite...
Nico: DON'T YOU DARE-
Hazel: I'll say. These puns are pure gold.
Nico: You're all dead to me..