Author has written 8 stories for Evangelion, Battle Angel, Gunnm/Battle Angel, and Wheel of Time.
Currently, I'm a fifth year Physics graduate student, so my time to write has been very limited. (Hee hee, I'm a published author; I will be second author on a paper coming out in 'Nature Communications.' Okay, yeah, this is like my fourth or fifth paper... but, 'Nature!')
Whoever you are, thank you very much for reading my work!
(6-28-12)- Work on fanfic has been regrettably slow; I've actually been focusing on an entirely original piece. My own world, my own characters. I want badly someday to publish a story of my own, but that will never ever happen if all my effort is directed at works owned by others. I'm decent, I see no reason to do anything but try. I do intend to continue my efforts on "Youngest Channeler" if only when there's spare time.
If you're a fic writer, keep it forever in mind that the goodwill you earn from 'your' readership is actually the fruit of someone else's labor. It isn't really your work people love, it's the work your work is based on.
I'm confused about my interests here a little bit; I like making people happy with what I've written and I know people will read my fanfic if I continue to write it, but I'll never be recognized for my own talent if I waste my time living in the shadows of someone like Robert Jordan. But, I may never be able to sell a work of my own, so it's appealing to write fic. It's gratifying that YC routinely floats in the top ten of the lists in the WOT category even though it is an original character fic --fanfic doesn't win audience for being truly original, hence the word fanfic.
(1-8-13)- "A Memory of Light" is out today. Guess what I'll be reading tonight.
(10-22-13)- I've seen a few comments over the years about my depiction of the character Ghedlyn that have had me thinking. People love to use the words "non-neurotypical" and "non-standard character" in their compliments/criticisms. I am not fond of these words. If you are thinking in terms of "neurotypical" versus "non-neurotypical," you automatically lose what makes a character unique as an individual as opposed to a stereotype. Every character you write should be "non-standard" if you're writing character correctly. While I know that Ghedlyn is autistic-like, remember always that the reasons for her illness are entirely fantastical --I don't know that this can be more clearly spelled out in the story than the number of sections devoted to spelling it out, but there you have it. Somebody somewhere is bound to not get that. There is exactly no reason for this illness to parallel the DSMV and I made no effort trying to be completely real-to-life with it. While the character was inspired by autism and savants, her illness isn't autism.
(6-10-15)-Intriguing quantum problem
Probably the worst place to talk about it, but I just worked an interesting quantum mechanics problem that still has me thinking 'wow.' I just need to express my awe for a moment.
The problem wanted me to find the time evolution of the error in the position of a particle packet sitting in a free space hamiltonian. Lots of physicist lingo there, but essentially all it wanted was to demonstrate the positional spreading over time of a particle sitting in one place. It actually gave no input wave function, and gave instead the Heisenberg Uncertainty Relation and stated that the particle packet was at the minimal extent of the uncertainty relation at the start of time in the problem. The differential equation used in the problem looks at time evolution of operators and says that the change in time of a particular operator is proportional to the commutator of that operator with the hamiltonian of the problem. It's a weird little bit of math since the thing that is being evolved is the operator, rather than the wave function and since a _commutator_ plays a central role in generating the kinematics; the math is called the 'Heisenberg picture.' In the more basic Schrodinger formalism, time evolution occurs in the state ket (otherwise called the wave function when represented in a Hilbert space) and operators sit unvaried in time and produce statistics by operating on the time-varying state ket. Further, like most quantum math, it's asking about an expectation value evolving rather than an explicit, discrete position. In this case, it was expectation value of error in position squared, which is essentially the average smearing of the particle away from its average position. The differential equation emerged in a really unusual way; it came out of a commutator embedded in a commutator embedded in a commutator. That's right, it went three commutators deep and produced three integration steps. It was very cool to see. The notion of a kinematic evolution of a statistical value directly without even touching the full wave function was very interesting.
Lots of weird math, all to say essentially that as a particle sits in space over time, it gradually smears out further and further and its actual location becomes more and more unclear, even if it apparently is not moving. It's a famous quantum mechanical result, but one I've never seen worked in quite that way (that I remembered or understood). The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle has some depth that I don't think many people appreciate.
Heisenberg Uncertainty principle is as well known in popular culture as Einstein's mass-energy relation; on the one hand, it's used for breathtaking assaults on science and common sense as a mediator of magical thinking, while on the other hand, it's studied by dilettantes who like the idea of understanding what it means since it's one of the best known parts of the most fundamental science, but most people lack the background to see how the gears turn out the results they are so interested in. It all comes down to language. People love the word "uncertainty." That word is so easy to pick up and carry around, so easy to disconnect from the underlying math. For everything you read, you rarely see anyone taking joy in the actual mathematical structure of quantum mechanics despite their interest in the words used to describe it, which is a shame. The math is lovely and, once you get past a set of basic concepts, it's easy enough that even I can do it up to a certain level. One thing I've learned is that, often, the name is something you can forget. It makes sense why a particular bit of math was given its name, but you don't really think about the names while you're delving into the problem. It's like poetry; structure emerges through the abstract relationships. Mathematics can sing like music. Sometimes, the next thing calls you to it and just drops out of the established construction by causing the operations to create and destroy each other. They seem to work themselves. More than anything, you come to really understand why certain words are chosen by other people to describe these things. Humans are a creature of words and words have undue power. You can hear the words and think you understand what they mean, but often people overestimate the depth of descriptive power available to those words. Words are always metaphorical and allegorical and they are never exactly what they're referring to since all people harbor their own basic symbolic standard to provide meaning to those words. In a way, everybody knows the words: everybody knows what the uncertainty principle is. But, also, almost nobody knows what the uncertainty principle is.
A Layer of Dust: Written circa 1995 just after I first discovered Gunnm. Not quite my oldest fanfic.
The Hunter Warrior Killer: Written 1996-1997 in several large pushes. Started as a textural experiment, but mutated when I discovered that I really loved the villain. An inverse marysue?
Hidden Virtues: My first uber Marysue, written during the height of my Evangelion obsession in about 1998. Subsequently rewritten about four times and coming to include some of my thoughts about martial arts at that time. The formatting of this story has suffered through the upgrades and alterations to this site: it no longer looks quite like I intended. But, that's okay... I detest this story and keep it around more or less as a reminder of what I won't write again.
Serpent at the Window: My last Eva fic. Not a terrific piece of work, but written in the days preceding and following September 11 2001. This story contains my emotional response to the events of that day. I will not write an Eva fic again and almost decided not to write fanfic anymore after a confrontation with a friend based on criticism of this story. Criticism can be hard and is best not leveled by people you care about.
Self Assembler Saga: High concept science fiction that ended up crossed with an impression of "Calvin and Hobbs." This story died in my brain when the original creator of Gunnm began to write "Last Order" and totally trashed my perspective on the main character: she wasn't supposed to be a Playboy Bunny dammit!
Weaving Luck: Written 2005. This work contains the genesis of my current marysue Ghedlyn. There are actually several characters here that I really liked, including the protagonist Aes Sedai, her Warder and the character/s about which the story was originally named. No, the story was not named for Ghedlyn. This story stalled because I realized that it was going to be prohibitively difficult to write it and keep it perfectly true to RJ's original series, which is a fairly large requirement that I impose upon myself when writing fanfic.
Youngest Channeler: 2006 to present. This is my current focus when I have time to devote to fanfic. It was written as a substitute for a blog when I realized I liked the writing experience that blogging provides, but don't like talking about my own life a la journal-open-to-the-world. This story was for fun. I am still working on this, but my time has been divided lately and work is progressing slowly. The writing strategy here was slightly different than I would prefer if I were writing something like a full novel and I think it diminishes the quality of the work: the chapters are written and presented in an episodic fashion, meaning that there is little editorial interaction between the beginning of the story and the current section. This is disadvantageous because it means I can't correct for drift or strengthen/support new ideas had in the process of writing and it means that far reaching plot points are less structured than I would prefer. The block-at-a-time style does have the advantage that it gives immediate feedback, but I think the whole thing is less than it could be.
Desertion of Reason: Written 2009. I stopped "Youngest Channeler" long enough to write this story. It chases a strange psychological idea that I wanted to explore after reading some Philip K. Dick which I decided was uniquely possible within the WOT universe. This story is pretty dark and uninviting, but it is the first fanfic in recent history that I've written to completion prior to beginning to post it. There is an old theme of familial tragedy in here that I've explored in some of my other work and somehow it matched with the feelings of loss and loneliness existent in my life while I was writing it. I have a proclivity for insane characters and this story followed with that. I have no idea whether people will like reading it or not, but I guess that didn't matter while I was working on it.