Alcoremortis
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Joined 05-16-06, id: 1047410, Profile Updated: 12-09-11
Author has written 10 stories for Pirates of the Caribbean, Yu Yu Hakusho, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Fullmetal Alchemist, Doctor Who, and Avengers.

Ooh look! A new profile! Not that there's really any cause to do so, as I don't really write fanfiction anymore. Of course that could always change, hence the profile update.

I do, however, still review the odd fic, though recently most of those are not under my login because I'm lazy. If the Killjoy Extraordinaire brought you here...um...you've definitely got the wrong person. I've a happy, sunny personality as can be seen from my avatar. See? He's SMILING.

If the TFT3K brought you here...yes. I am THAT Alcoremortis. I also occasionally work with supposedly the most hated person on these boards (not really), Automated TT Submission. In any case, my forte is MSTs and I do love reading and writing them, as well as parody fics. Provided they're well done, of course.

Lastly, as a small, poorly drawn (probably in crayon) roadmap to how these fics are written, the Pirates of the Caribbean fics are the oldest and were written with Zythera Komoto as troll fics. They are therefore absolutely awful. Read if you don't value your sanity. The other fics are were written solely by yours truly, Alcoremortis, and therefore slightly less weird.

This is an archived bit of my old profile, purely because I don't have the heart to delete it. Now with annotations!

Hobbies (apparently I had these hobbies when I set up this account seven or so years ago):

1. Putting down others. (...somewhat true)

2. Craunching marmosets. (I don't even know what this means anymore, but it sounds fun.)

3. Creating terrible stories. (True.)

4. Creating languages that don't make sense. (Also, true)

5. Stabbing people with swords. (Somewhat less than before, but still true)

6. Making up kungfu names. (I was the Screeching Watermelon. FEAR THE POWER OF MY VOICE!)

7.Discovering the cure to solumum. (...I don't even.)

Well, that's all for now folks!

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Lily and the HalfBlood Prince by greeneyes117 reviews
This story starts from when Severus first met Lily, and the way their friendship evolved during their school years. It is mostly canon, continuing seamlessly from Ch.33 in JKR's book the latter marked in italics .COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 137 - Words: 619,061 - Reviews: 1128 - Favs: 557 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 12/17/2011 - Published: 9/29/2009 - [Lily Evans P., Severus S.] - Complete
Rangers and Pirates by Psycho Elf v2.0 reviews
*REposted after a 3year absence!* LOTR/POTC crossover: Injured on his way to visit his dear friend Legolas, a young Estel is taken to a new world of men and pirates. while back in Middle Earth, Legolas and Aragorn's family work desperatly to get him back
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,290 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
Where the Skeletons Lie by thesolitary-dragon reviews
COMPLETE! Someone or something is calling the Third Streeters back home after nearly 15 years of seperation. Will the gang figure out the mystery despite past grievances amongst them? I changed my mind, it's gonna be a blood bath...hehe...maybe.
Recess - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 36 - Words: 187,082 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/15/2004 - Published: 8/21/2004 - Complete
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Frayed Knots and Silly Strings reviews
Oneshots and drabbles, get'cher oneshots and drabbles. Tidbits that could have or might have happened during the first Avengers, the interim, or the second film. Slight AU, as I wrote this a year and a half ago on minimal information, just really bad with deadlines. Super sorry about the lame title pun, I couldn't resist a string reference after those trailers. COMPLETE.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 14,040 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/12 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S., Hulk/Bruce B. - Complete
Slices of Time reviews
Oneshots and Drabbles. Drabbles and Oneshots. Things that could have been, things that should have been, and some things that may yet come to pass. Chapter 1: The Death of a Face. The Face of Boe died. Right?
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/6/2009
A Very Shaggy Dog Story reviews
A story of jealousy and revenge, culminating in a non sequitur punchline. In short, a shaggy dog story.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,034 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Edward E., Alphonse E.
Count Down reviews
Oneshot. "Demons, she thought,definitely demons. One look was all it took. And the worst part was: they were going after children. This had to stop." Just an ordinary day in the life of Buffy.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 635 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Buffy S., Xander H. - Complete
Video Games reviews
Oneshot. "I know as much about video games as I do about hugs and puppies, and I care for them even less. Wake me for the end of the world." Well, Hiei, I'd like to test that theory.
Yu Yu Hakusho - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 689 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Hiei - Complete
Hiei's Spirit Beast reviews
Oneshot. I believe the unimaginative title says it all. Rated for language.
Yu Yu Hakusho - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 504 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Hiei - Complete
On a Short Note reviews
Oneshot. It's finally time for Hiei to tell Yukina that he is her brother. The only question is: Will he actually do it? Rated for safety.
Yu Yu Hakusho - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,768 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/18/2008 - Complete
The Landlubber's Nautical Dictionary reviews
It's sort of selfexplanatory. A funny dictionary of Piraterelated words. Oneshot.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 576 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/29/2007 - Davy Jones, Elizabeth S. - Complete
The Unsinkable MarySue reviews
Leave this story lie... Unless you're planning on using it to hit something with.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,378 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/20/2006 - Published: 5/22/2006
Pirates 17: The Ice Cream Expedition reviews
ONESHOT. Alcore, Mortis, and a certain Commodore go on a search for ice in order to make the tasty treat... What adventures await. Norrington OOC. Rated T for character death. Don't own Spielberg. This makes fun of everything and those who can't write. Ra
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/30/2006 - Complete