Sunburned-Stickperson
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Joined 05-28-06, id: 1055335, Profile Updated: 08-21-12
Author has written 83 stories for Final Fantasy I-VI, Assassin's Creed, Prototype, El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron, and Mario.

Name: Sunburned-Stickperson

Gender: Perhaps a male, a sick and twisted young man. But all my friends (and I) think I'm female... Although others tend to disagree.

Race: Well, I've had some tell me I'm Asian, but my bloodline is predominantly German-Jew...

Location: Someplace with a computer, lost forever within the realms of my imagination...

Birthday: It's the second Thursday of next Tuesday!

Age: Creeping up there slowly...


Okay. Just saying. There's something I need to make sure you lot know.

I got friends.

Wonderful friends who read my stories before I post them.

And I have the worst memory ever.

So I want to say, "Thank you." 'Cause I'll never remember otherwise.

So... Thank you. All of you. My beta: Warfang. And other people who have generously helped me: Schmuzz, Ferafish, xCrackaDoodlex, One-shot.Dump, Hawk wing, Kyuohk, Novoux, Jayman102593, and HikariNoTenshi-San.

I think that's all, but it might not be. I'm sorry if I've forgotten you. Contact me?

But anyway, thank you so much for all of your help. Thank you. Thank you much. :D

And before I forget, (almost) all these stories came from the kinkmeme. It's a fair assumption to say they're all boy/boy.


One bright day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords, and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, drew his gun, and stabbed the boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man--he saw it too. And if you don't believe the blind, ask the deaf: he heard it fine.


OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, "Why the early bird gets the worm," "Life isn't always fair," and "Maybe, it was my fault."

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is surpassed by his three stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Evolution'ry Process by leaky.oven reviews
"It was like I woke up last week and Old Shaun was back." - "So the first thing you do when faced with a beehive is step on it?" SxD, 1stPOV, SLASH
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,156 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 6/16/2014 - Published: 3/1/2011 - [Shaun H., Desmond M.] - Complete
Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree (With Anyone Else But Me) by justicemuffins reviews
On a team outing to an apple orchard, Steve just wants to have a talk. He should know better than to expect privacy beneath an apple tree. (Capsicoul)
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,318 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/30/2012 - Agent Phil Coulson, Captain America/Steve R. - Complete
Affinity by Schmuzz reviews
After The Outbreak, after James Heller, Alex is forced to admit that true understanding will always be out of reach; he will always be both more and less than the rest of humanity. At least until now. Because now, he may have just found The Cure...
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 87,612 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 1/17/2012 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Desmond M., Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Hidden Dagger and Bladed Fist by BlueBastard reviews
Trapped in the past, Desmond finds out first hand why both Altair and Ezio are Master Assassins. They, on the other hand, find Desmond irresistable, much to Desmond's dismay. Desmond/Altair/Ezio M/M/M SLASH
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,812 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 709 - Follows: 772 - Updated: 11/6/2011 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Desmond M., Altaïr
Good Times by velvet key reviews
Kadar enjoys the scenery. AU.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Kadar - Complete
Of Roses and Cowards by EllyZeller reviews
About how Altair ended up drunk and with a bouquet of white roses for Malik. Yaoi. Sort of Prequel for "A rose for your thoughts"
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,690 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Altaïr, Malik - Complete
From a Different Point of View by Last Haven reviews
Two Shot. First chapter: America's pillow is proud to be called the best, but being the greatest means putting up with a lot. Second: For years, Britain's blanket has served him faithfully.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,155 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/20/2011 - Published: 5/19/2011 - America, England/Britain - Complete
ENDA by solaciolum reviews
Shaun and Rebecca discuss some of the finer points of the Employee Non-Discrimination Act with Desmond. Shaun/Desmond, fluff and silliness.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,544 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Annunciation by WillowSioui reviews
One-sided LeonardoxEzio. Leonardo da Vinci is wokring on his newest painting when Ezio drops in, and things get a little...uncomfortable for the young artist.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 711 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Ezio A., Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
Revolution by Phoenix-Fire Power reviews
"You want a revolution?" A talk between George Washington and his country before the Revolutionary War where the father convinces the doubting child. Fatherly George WashingtonxAmerica
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/11/2011 - America - Complete
Pick-up Lines by Umenokouji Yuuya reviews
"I have skittles in my mouth. Want to taste the rainbow?" A collection of short stories featuring cheesy pick-up lines and even cheesier boys. [Riku/Sora]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 11,830 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 4/27/2010 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Sora, Riku
Mark of an Assassin by Ralthe reviews
The templars seem to have a moderate control over everything on earth. History, discoveries, and knowledge. Yet somehow, the assassins still leave their mark. Humor fic.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,280 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Desmond M., Shaun H.
Freckles by Ryeko-Dono reviews
Luneth always loved Arc s freckles. It was time for the brown-haired boy to know that. .:Luneth x Arc:..:FINAL FANTASY III:..
Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,317 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/11/2010 - Luneth, Arc - Complete
Dirty Business by Silvite's Cry reviews
The café was always closed for a reason. If I tell you the pairing, that spoils half the fun. But it has Joshua. And really, there should be an 'erotica' category.
World Ends With You - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,677 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Sanae H. - Complete
Apocalypse Hill by Midnight Crisis reviews
Atop a hill, two young men are standing next to a leafless tree; their eyes roaming over a landscape filled with bloodied weaponry and bodies. Smiling, they wait for the next sunrise. AkuRoku. Based on Nijuuni's pic.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,299 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Published: 3/20/2009 - Axel, Roxas - Complete
Pass the Muffins by omnipotent otaku reviews
All Zelda wanted one morning was a cinnamon muffin. Warning, this fic contains muffins, idiocy, and flamethrowers. You have been warned.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,274 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 12/14/2008 - Published: 11/18/2005 - Zelda
Hover Bike by aykeikay reviews
Ai and Mina witness a most bizzare sight while eating lunch at the Mexican Hot Dog. oneshot
World Ends With You - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 769 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Ai, Mina - Complete
Lullabies by Twilight Hours reviews
Lullabies aren't always meant to be sweet.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,220 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Sora, Riku - Complete
Link likes Comedy by ReidenLightman reviews
THE ULTIAMTE SCOOP OF LAUGHTER UNTILL I FOUND OUT WHAT TO DO NEXT. And coming soon, is the Other Funny Zelda Stories directory, where I tell you how to find the best Zelda funny stories. Stay cool, enjoy.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 11,361 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/22/2007 - Published: 5/5/2006 - Link - Complete
The Match by Ebil Chameleon reviews
A cracktastic rap battle between Sasuke and Kakashi! Excessive humor inside.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 798 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/17/2007 - Sasuke U., Kakashi H. - Complete
Shadow Bound by Pleading Eyes reviews
Malon often felt like Link's shadow, bound to him, following at his heels, only to have him never notice her. Until the fateful night she encountered Link's true shadow, and discovered its nature to be far more sinister.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 84,744 - Reviews: 503 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 7/31/2007 - Published: 10/22/2006 - Malon, Dark Link - Complete
Black Cat Drabbles of Doom by Moggetchan reviews
To the old readers: LAST CHAPPY Train? Creed? In a bar getting drunk together? This can't be good! To the new readers: A random drabble. Some of them are funny. Some of them are okay. One is TERRIBLE and some are wrong
Black Cat - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 32,459 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/4/2007 - Published: 7/21/2006 - Complete
Artifice by Katraa reviews
Sora thought it was magic that had a hold on his heart. He had no idea it was the magician himself. [riku x sora]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,029 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/26/2007 - Riku, Sora - Complete
A Tale Of Two Lovers by xXxchiixXx reviews
Oneshot. Dark. RikuXSora. Drug Use, Severe Angst, Madness, Death, All That Good Stuff. Yaoi.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,796 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/19/2007 - Riku, Sora - Complete
Gaara vs the squeaky toy by Silent Angel 1291 reviews
I think the title speaks for itself. Very short and random. Math class messes with my brain. Many brain cells died while making this.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 414 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/27/2006 - Gaara - Complete
The Best by silver thorns reviews
An unhappy oneshot on something you don't see happening in the game.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 529 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/11/2005 - Link, Epona - Complete
The Last Stand by Origo Mali reviews
This is an Alternate Ending to the novel Lord Of the Flies in which the boat never arives at the shore of the island and the boys catch Ralph.
Lord of the Flies - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 746 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/16/2005 - Complete
A Beautiful World by Double reviews
[Complete] Eagle wakes up from the coma, only to find Lantis engaged to Hikaru. He wants to feel happy for them; he wants to tear them apart, his heart consumed by flames of jealousy. Living in this paradox, how long will it be before he breaks? ExL, LxH
Magic Knight Rayearth/魔法騎士レイアース - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,391 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/27/2005 - Published: 3/20/2005 - Complete
Behind Closed Doors by Vash's Girl reviews
[RS, LS, CL] The burning, mindnumbing pain of secrets, the touch of warm fingertips gliding over bare skin in the dark. A dark, caressing whisper, hot breath ghosting along an ear. Lock the door, throw away the key.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 77,349 - Reviews: 565 - Favs: 557 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 10/14/2004 - Published: 3/31/2003 - Riku, Sora - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

To Serve the Light reviews
All he really wants is relief, to die, to let his conscious fade away into oblivion. The Fates have other plans. They'd rather just make sure he doesn't want to die in the first place. No one ever said that a second (or third) chance at life was easy-but at least he got to himself first.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,576 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/12/2015
Sweetest Lullabies reviews
Desmond's sick and tired of being the guinea pig sacrificed to "save the world." He's going to take as many people with him as he can. Misery loves company, after all, and the Apple sings such a sweet tune in his ear.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 897 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Desmond M. - Complete
For all the Rain, the Sun Still Shines reviews
They pick up a couple of kids, toddlers, babies-who can't stand Lucy. And Rebecca isn't lactating at the moment, and if there's one thing Shaun hates more than anything, it's little kids. Why is this happening to him?
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,454 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Uninvited Circumstances reviews
Connor's clothes seem to be a bit too small, and the women are more than eager to jump all over the opportunity.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,185 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Connor K., Ezio A. - Complete
Just Beginning reviews
It never was his story, was it?
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 992 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Lucy S., Desmond M. - Complete
Redemption reviews
Perhaps the path to redemption lies in the hearts of those he calls his enemies.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,478 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Altaïr, Malik - Complete
Love is a Game of Give and Take reviews
Connor's crew knows he needs some time to relax. So they force him to take some time off to unwind.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 929 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Connor K., Haytham K. - Complete
Soaponification reviews
Mathias was just waiting for his wife. He never expected to see Haytham chasing a savage down the street like an angry sailor.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 624 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Connor K., Haytham K. - Complete
Of Aids and Axe-Murderers reviews
The Bleeding Effect is slightly more than just going crazy. Pure crack.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 752 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 18 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Fetal Flaw reviews
Fem!Altair One night with Malik was all she had wanted. Just one night, and she could get over anything she felt for him. But no one bothered to tell her that when things like that happen, there can be bigger consequences. And in such a male-dominated castle, there is no one to tell her what's going on, so with dread, she decides she'll have to struggle through this alone.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 46,474 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 17 - Published: 11/5/2012 - Altaïr, Malik - Complete
Eden at Last reviews
Desmond's always been cursed, as his mother and grandmother were before him. However, a crackpot whim to try Shaun's suggestion might just save his life-and introduce a whole new world at the same time.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,274 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 6/25/2012 - Desmond M., Altaïr
It's Okay reviews
It's okay, he tells himself and the men inside his head. Everything is okay, he tells his father, who he hates more than anything. He can resolve these problems with the help of his friends when he remembers they're there.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,010 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/29/2012 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Desmond M. - Complete
Yet Life Goes On reviews
All he wanted was some time with his lover. Was it really too much to ask for?
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,779 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 11 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Desmond M., Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Flying High reviews
Desmond's always wanted to be a sky pirate-instead of an assassin. He may just get his chance. Steampunk!AU
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 35,981 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 5/28/2012 - Published: 10/25/2011 - Desmond M., Alex M./Zeus
Quintessential reviews
Karma rewards good attitudes and persistence. Just perhaps not quite how anyone expects.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 731 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Adha, Desmond M. - Complete
While We Wait reviews
Everyone's got a timer to meet their soul mate. It's just a matter of waiting. That's all. But that's easier said than done. Multiple pairings, multiple oneshots.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,652 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/21/2012 - Complete
Just Lusting For Life reviews
He's got a brand-new body thanks to the man he gave his old one for. Of course, he never realized what he had until it was gone.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,777 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/21/2012 - Clay K./Subject 16, Desmond M. - Complete
Beauty is in the Eyes of reviews
Some of Altair's greatest discoveries came from some of his biggest mistakes.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/10/2012 - Desmond M., Malik - Complete
It's Complicated reviews
It's a complicated relationship they have, but it works, and that's all Alex could ask for.
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/29/2012 - Desmond M., Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Now Dance, Desmond, Dance! reviews
He asked her what she wanted for her birthday. Now he was giving it to her.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,707 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/28/2012 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Ghost and a Vacuum? reviews
Mario did have another brother.
Crossover - Mario & Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 645 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/28/2012 - Luigi, Desmond M. - Complete
History Repeats reviews
It's just a test-he tells himself that over and over. He's not going to allow himself to become fallen.
El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 657 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/24/2012 - Lucifel - Complete
Final Fantasy XXVII reviews
When troubles arise in the South, the heroes must rise to the call. Final Fantasy worlds/Assassins Creed characters
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 55,766 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/10/2012 - Published: 3/9/2012 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
First One Hundred reviews
The first of the one-hundred themes challenge with AltMalMar and AlexDes.
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 21,031 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 3/8/2012 - Published: 12/19/2011
Land Sharks reviews
Dark AU. Being away from the sea is deadly for a mercreature. He knows this, and he'll get his family back somehow. Warnings: pseudo-cannibalism, unsettling deaths... more inside.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Horror/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,912 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/5/2012 - Altaïr - Complete
Lazy Nights reviews
It's just a lazy night with Desmond and Alex. More than they could hope for, really.
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,717 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/22/2012 - Desmond M., Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Foam and Mint Tea reviews
Desmond's certainly not expecting anything when he goes to brush his teeth.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 541 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/19/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Survival of the Luckiest reviews
He doesn't know who he is. But he has a friend to help him out in the poor district of Acre. Fate has a funny way of working itself out.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,239 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/10/2011 - Kadar - Complete
Águila Real reviews
Sequel to "Volacious." The first, and last, sequel I'll probably ever write. Many thanks to my wonderful, patient, and ever-helpful beta, Warfang.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,952 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 11/9/2011 - Published: 11/7/2011 - Altaïr, Malik
Perfect World Visions reviews
It's a perfect world they share-just the two of them, forever.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 923 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/10/2011 - Desmond M., Clay K./Subject 16 - Complete
Oft Forgotten reviews
The world has been saved. It's time to save Desmond.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,861 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/2/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Things Left Unknown reviews
After everything is said and done, Desmond puts himself through bootcamp after being left alone. Perhaps bootcamp was the best thing that had happened.
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 27,917 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/2/2011 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Desmond M., R. Cross - Complete
Home Sweet Home reviews
After everything is said and done, Desmond earned the right to sleep in a nice bed. But that might not be what draws him back.
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,155 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 8 - Published: 9/12/2011 - Desmond M., Alex M./Zeus - Complete
It's the Small Things reviews
It's someone's birthday. He just needs to figure out whose. Happy birthday, ardx!
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,729 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/11/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Viral reviews
Whoever said it was Desmond that Abstergo kidnapped, and not just someone who looked like him?
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,404 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 15 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Volacious reviews
After having to take care of his brothers, Desmond and Ezio, Altair's decided he never wants kids. He's going away to college, and that's final. Or so he'd like to think.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,205 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 33 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Altaïr, Desmond M. - Complete
Silent Nights in a World of Noise reviews
Alex and Desmond have always had a relationship. Let it never be said it was as rough as people think it is.
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Prototype - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,829 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 13 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Desmond M., Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Pheonix's Soul, Eagle's Body reviews
Altair was, actually, a bird. Al Mualim decided that an eagle would make the best assassin he could hope for and uses the Apple to give himself the best.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,266 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 24 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Altaïr, Malik - Complete
Long Baths, Longer Nights reviews
It's only at night, in the near boiling waters of the bath, that Malik will let Kadar in again.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Malik, Kadar - Complete
Fireflies reviews
Altair and Malik are traveling. A small shot of the nighttime as Altair indulges in his fascination with fireflies.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 898 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Altaïr, Malik - Complete
Darkness Rising reviews
Alex gets sent to deal with PARIAH.
Prototype - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Alex M./Zeus, PARIAH - Complete
Dance Along reviews
Desmond gives the others a striptease. Misfire!fill on the kinkmeme.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 613 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/7/2011 - Desmond M., Rebecca C. - Complete
Uneasy Alliance reviews
There's a reason why Desmond is so wanted. His lineage has quite the reputation, and the three who find him are willing to work to get him to trust them again. Steampunk!AU
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,629 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 24 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Desmond M., Rebecca C. - Complete
Covers of a Book reviews
Desmond isn't as dumb as he acts. Perhaps the friend he meets in Monteriggioni will change the other assassins' views-despite Desmond's protests.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Family/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,012 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Next Thought reviews
"There are some things computers can't do, Rebecca, like love." Or something like that, Desmond remembered, wishing Shaun would show him what he meant.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,084 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Flash, Boom, Bang reviews
It's the Fourth. Cue American traditions with American patriots. And cuddling on blankets. It's good to be an American.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,342 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Whispering Souls reviews
Ezio returns to Masyaf to find what Desmond will need. He may not know who Desmond is, but he's willing to get to the lighted tower to get his ancestor what he needs-despite how spooky the ruins are. Request inspired by TSO's "Night Castle."
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,277 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Ezio A., Altaïr - Complete
Snowball's Chance reviews
Officer Teodor Viscardi is less than happy when his Christmas time vacation is taken from him. He's even less happy when his fellow workers party with the assassins. However, the spirit of Christmas is quite infective.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,565 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Officer, Ezio A. - Complete
Come Home reviews
Desmond's finally pulled himself from the coma. Shaun's right there beside him when he wakes.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,311 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Rough Thoughts reviews
Desmond's loved running. It's always been his escape, but the new boy, who calls himself Salai, seems to want to change his mind.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,974 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Desmond M., Salai - Complete
Laughing Angel reviews
With power comes knowledge, and with knowledge comes curiosity. Those Who Came Before experimented on humans to perfect the art of flight, and some lineages retained the ability of flight.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,959 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Desmond M. - Complete
Unhealthy Treasure reviews
Something's wrong with Altair. Malik consults his closest brothers to figure it out how to fix it.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,527 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 17 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Malik - Complete
Mindshift reviews
Desmond finds himself back in Solomon's Temple, and the Apple is doing everything it can to keep him from coming back.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,372 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Desmond M., Malik - Complete
Nuance of a Nuisance reviews
Malik is a DJ with an extremely popular radio program. The media doesn't know what he looks like, or even his real name. His DJing name? "Doctor Love." Mix in a trollcaller and two little kids, and it's a recipe for disaster.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,411 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Malik, Altaïr - Complete
Zephyric Love reviews
The reason Desmond left the Farm was because he was abused by his father. When the two reunite, Desmond is terrified.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,186 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 16 - Published: 6/6/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Gay Rooster, I Mean, Chicken reviews
Rebecca wants Shaun to play "Gay Chicken" with Desmond. Shaun doesn't see why he should.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/6/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Xenogenesis reviews
Malik finds a new friend in the gardens of Masyaf.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,493 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/6/2011 - Malik, Kadar - Complete
Yearning for What's Lost reviews
When all else fails to curb the Bleeding Effect, Desmond falls asleep with Shaun, and the historian realizes that when Desmond has a story read to him, he sleeps soundly.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Queen's Own reviews
Desmond is the youngest of seven royal siblings, and he's always been mistreated. As his eighteenth birthday approaches, "Little Useless" finds his life changing in many ways. He calls it magic.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,597 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Desmond M., Salai - Complete
Running Wild reviews
Altair rides into a small town that's being threatened by Cesare Borgia, a powerful rancher. He meets the Auditores, an Italian immigrant family, and vows that live or die, he will protect them.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Western/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,425 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/26/2011 - Altaïr - Complete
Solitary Spectors reviews
Desmond returns home to the Farm where he was born to meet his father, who he hasn't seen in many years. However, not all is as "normal" as he wanted to hope.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,085 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/24/2011 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Desmond M., Ezio A. - Complete
Even in the Desert, Flowers Bloom reviews
Religious persecution has happened for years, but in no place as bad as the Order of the Assassins. When Desmond's curiosity stirs things up, it tests Shaun's faith to the limit.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,438 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/24/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Furious Frenzy reviews
Desmond hasn't been kidnapped by Abstergo, and instead, has adopted four cats. They weren't lying when they said that cats "rule the roost."
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,495 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/24/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Jealousy Makes for Ugly Clothing reviews
Malik becomes jealous of the new, expensive, silk clothes someone left at his bureau. He's mad that the man who will get them won't appreciate them, but a cripple has no right to such incredible things in their society.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,799 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/24/2011 - Malik, Altaïr - Complete
Desolate Smiles reviews
Leonardo's smile has never reached his eyes. This, Salai knows. He also knows that Ezio is an idiot, but at least he's working to make Leonardo happy.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,808 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/24/2011 - Salai, Ezio A. - Complete
Conscious Depredation reviews
The Bleeding Effect is starting to frighten Desmond, and since Shaun is always up in the wee hours of morning, he looks to him for a distraction.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 663 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/7/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
A Quiet Happiness reviews
Shaun's always making fresh tea, even at the expense of ease. Desmond finally asks him why.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,565 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/4/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
A Hairy Situation reviews
Ezio is frustrated his hood keeps giving him matted hair, and when Leonardo sees him being none too gentle with his hair, he volunteers to brush it for him.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 975 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/2/2011 - Ezio A., Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
Candy Coated Hatred reviews
Shaun pulls together a small birthday present for Desmond after stumbling across a disturbing picture from Abstergo. It really was too easy since Ezio's grudge-holding has bled into Desmond.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Horror/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,509 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/9/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Deadly Ambitions reviews
The assassins have animals help them with delivering messages and over various things, like fetching the pencil that rolled off their desk. Desmond's cat doesn't seem to like Shaun, and Shaun's creature seems to think that the cat might make a good meal.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,576 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Crumbling Obstacles reviews
Leonardo has dedicated his life to freeing "pets." One day, he stumbles upon three brothers who are snatched before he can buy them. After one is returned, he vows to help find the other two.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,882 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/6/2011 - Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
Innocent Stuff reviews
Salai loved getting attention from Leonardo but not like this-not after being attacked by the guards and being bedridden because of his injured leg. It was going to drive him nuts.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,188 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/2/2011 - Salai, Ezio A. - Complete
Hidden Strengths reviews
Ezio never realized how strong Leonardo was, that is, until he came to free him from a cell in Cesare's dungeon.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,096 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/29/2011 - Ezio A., Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
As the Sun Sets reviews
After a tiring and stressful day, Leonardo relaxes in a bath. He gets some unexpected company, but it isn't a bad thing.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,545 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/28/2011 - Ezio A., Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
Plans are Tiny Prayers to Father Time reviews
When Desmond finds out that his entire life has been planned out, from his escape at the farm to Lucy's flirting to entice him to help the assassins out, he doesn't want to help anymore. He turns to Shaun, the "outsider," to get him out. To make him free.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,146 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 3/26/2011 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Birthday Bash reviews
Four different birthday traditions, including "Pin the Tail on the Donkey," the piñata, birthday cake, and proper birthday attire.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,499 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Complete
Play Video Games reviews
There are some things that Ezio just shouldn't see. There are some things Desmond just can't help but show him. Altair can only wish he had stayed in his bed.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,248 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 16 - Published: 3/23/2011 - Altaïr, Ezio A. - Complete
Herd Your Horses reviews
Leonardo loved horses, there's no doubt. So, he gets the game called "Herd Your Horses" from Lucy, who lets them play it outside on the condition that Desmond, Shaun, Malik, Altair, and Ezio must play as well.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,345 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/5/2011 - Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
It's War reviews
In the middle of all of the Apple's shenanigans and the Hellish war the assassins had to fight against the Templars, Malik, Leonardo, and Shaun team up to cheer up their poor assassins.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,417 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/4/2011 - Desmond M., Altaïr - Complete
Little Leo and the Leap of Faith reviews
Apple be damned. Ezio thought that maybe, if all little kids were as cute as little Leonardo, maybe being a parent was worth it. He was just glad he watched his mother so closely as a kid.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,382 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/4/2011 - Ezio A., Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
Knowledge is Power, and Power Corrupts reviews
Ezio had never thought about how dangerous Leonardo would be as a killer. That is, of course, until he ran across a creature who looked like Leonardo. Perhaps there was more to this man than he realized.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,010 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/11/2011 - Ezio A., Leonardo da Vinci - Complete
Provoked by Impulse reviews
The past is bound to repeat itself. But Refia, Ingus, Luneth, and Arc are a family: they'll overcome anything-particularly when Arc is the target. Though, perhaps going to Ur wasn't the best idea, given Luneth's past with the bullies.
Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,724 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Arc, Luneth - Complete
Two Tangents to an Arc reviews
Luneth and Ingus normally fight: it happens with opposite personalities. The others don't enjoy it, and Arc decides it's time to get to the bottom of the arguing.
Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,748 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Arc - Complete
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