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Joined 06-01-06, id: 1058362, Profile Updated: 08-25-08
Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter.

You may also know me by: Laura, or Azurine Maleah Selenia (yes, I'm Maleah or Mal in Alia The Sue Slayer's fic "Elevator")

"I, SockMonkey101, do swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.

I have joined the review revolution."

Sam's FicSpeak Dictionary
For people who are new or have no idea what we're talking about.
A/N:-Author's Note
Cannon (or canon)- The story (be it book, movie, TV, anime) the fanfiction is taken from (i.e. the actual Harry Potter books would be cannon)
ConCrit- Constructive Criticism
Femslash- girl/girl pairing
Gary Stu- Male version of Mary Sue (below)
Incest- family members doing intimate things together
Mary Sue- A perfect female character that is good at everything; usually a first-time author mistake
OC- Original Characer or Own Character: a person made up for fanfics that wasn't in cannon
OOC- Out of Character: a person acting differently than depicted in cannon
OTP- One True Pairing: the author's favorite pairing
R/R or R&R- Read and Review
Ship- Relationship; the pairing the story will contain
Slash- boy/boy pairing

Copy and paste this dictionary to help those poor newbies that are so confused!


Anywho, welcome to my humble abode. Come on in, sit down, and have some tea. No, that glowing sock in the corner won't give you cancer, though it may bite...I thought heard it rummaging around in the 'fridge earlier, and I don't think it found anything.


"When you're not good at something, don't do that something in front of cameras," said Barbara Walters.

"Are you going to kick Mrs. Bennett down the stairs?" asked Kaili"Who told you?!" shouted Heather.

Taylor: wow
thats a big word
Laura: what? simultaneously? it's not that big...
only 14 letters
Taylor: thats 13 more thatn i can spell

"Kiah is such a dork."Oh, yes, most definitely" "Kiah needs mental help." (Lauren and I were seeing what would make Kiah look up from her manga) "Oh my gosh, Kiah, the building's on fire!!" About 5 seconds later Kiah looks up."Huh? What?"

"1. Have you ever thought of a friend as more than a friend?" "Yes, but I SWEAR it was a guy!" An internet test and my friend Kaili

"BE EXCITED NOW! I COMMAND IT!" ":/ woohoo" "Do you not get the concept of excited, or is it just me?" Me and Taylor

"Where's the towel?" "What towel?" "The towel you dried the fruit with." "Oh, it's in the fridge." "The fridge??" Armani (AKA Jordan) Her mom Janice. And, of course, moi!

Fun Stuff

This is so cool!

Before you read the questions, write down your top 12 favorite Harry Potter characters in no particular order. This was really interesting!

My Top 12: Q&A

List your twelve favorite Harry Potter characters in no particular order:

1. Lily Evans

2. James Potter

3. Sirius Black

4. Remus Lupin

5. Nymphadora Tonks

6. Molly Weasley

7. Ginny Weasley

8. Fred Weasley

9. George Weasley

10. Albus Dumbledore

11. Minerva McGonagall

12. Oliver Wood

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? No, and that would be VERY ewwie.

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Yup. His personality is amazing, and teenage-him would, I'm sure, be a sweetie.

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? EW EW EW M-PREG. EW.

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Of course! Everybody loves Nine!

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? I don't think so. Two wouldn't like to have 7 kids.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Five/Nine isn't gross, but they're too close as friends. And Five/Ten is simply icky. Ewww old man.

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? Seven would probably scream, and Two and Twelve would be severely embarassed. If Hermione walked in on them, though, she would probably say, "Are you two using protection? We don't want any more M-Preg up in here."

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Twelve Fanfic. Oliver Wood finds himself exploring the Room of Requirement to look for a lost textbook when out of a Vanishing Cabinet pops Sirius Black! When one of them has an urge for drugs, they appear, along with a surprisingly plush setting. Being high causes them to make some bad decisions, and more M-Preg ensues (despite Hermione's efforts to stop it).

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? If there is, I haven't read it.

10) Suggest a summary for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. (So AU its not even funny.) The war against evil raged on for five years, in the end taking both the lives of Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort. Their deaths bring new life to a world scarred by evil, however, as Ginny Weasley progresses in her pregnancy. With a fatherless baby and a husbandless woman, will Oliver step in to fill the positions, after losing so many friends of his own?

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One? I'm thinking seventeenth birthday, James brings a bit of Firewhiskey for her to try, and Truth or Dare.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? What does that mean?

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? I think most people have written a fic with Eleven in it, though I don't know anyone who draws her...

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? NO. If someone did, I might have to send the men in the white coats to check on him/her. But Four/Five is an UBER acceptable pairing. I love them.

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? Dang, I can't say. He's too profound for my itsy-bitsy brain.

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Oh that's so hard, especially since I don't write songfics. And since he died, I want to choose something all sentimental, but that really wasn't his I can't say.

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve smut fic, what would the warning be? If you would like to stay sane, please don't read this fic.

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? If your right leg is Christmas and your left leg is New Years, can I visit between the holidays? (ok sorry for stealing that Alia but it's a good line!)

'Ships I sail

Katie/Oliver (go read "Neurotically Obsessed" NOW! 'Tis on favorites)
Sirius/OC (but only because he's beautiful)
Hermione/Tom Riddle ( I'm a die-hard R/Hr (even though I don't read it), but I find this pairing strangely acceptable)
George/Angelina (if I could find a good fic in this pairing, I would read it more, but I've yet to find one)

Malfoy/Ginny (also strangely acceptable, in certain situations.)

On a mission to stop stereotypes, one profile at a time.

I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean

I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious


I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too


I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try

I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans

I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature

I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet

I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I must just be Emo.

I'm SHY, so I MUST not be worth talking to.

I actually ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH MY MOTHER, so I MUST be an immature baby.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Neurotically Obsessed by FallenMystery reviews
Oliver has always been obsessed with Katie. I mean, Quidditch. Katie has always been neurotic. Which is kind of Oliver's fault. Well, entirely Oliver's fault. So is the fact that she's flying for Puddlemere United. Calamity ensues.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 46,020 - Reviews: 409 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 8/23/2008 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Katie B., Oliver W.
The Loveliest Woman You Could Ever Happen to Meet by Sasparilla reviews
My name is Dolores Jane Umbridge. And I am possibly the loveliest woman you could ever happen to meet. Truly there is no one more divine than I. I am as dainty as a fairy and as intelligent as a sphinx. Hem, hem.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,288 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Published: 8/19/2008 - Dolores U. - Complete
Potter Induced Madness by FallenMystery reviews
Lily hates James because he drives her crazy. Crazy enough that she finds herself spending a lot of time talking to the little voice and making midnight trips to the kitchens for brownies. LJ hate love
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 44,326 - Reviews: 538 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 2/3/2008 - Published: 11/28/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Save the OC by NittanyLizard reviews
She’s beautiful. She’s tragic. She’s perfect. And you have eight chapters to turn her into somebody that I don’t want to vanquish from the face of the earth.
Outsiders - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,625 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 11/26/2007 - Published: 11/13/2007
All's Fair in Love, War, and Pranks by TheLovelyNatalieRose reviews
Fred and George had always been the Kings of Pranks, but will their crowns be taken away when 2 girls challenge them to the ultimate prank war? But what happens when, you guessed it, love comes into the picture? FredOC GeorgeOC If you hate OCs, don't read
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,309 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 9/3/2007 - Published: 8/29/2006 - George W.
Little Lady by VeniceGroove reviews
To attend the prestigious all boys Hogwarts school of magic,Lily Evans disguises herself as a boy.Things get interesting when the Marauders take her under their wing,however Potter realizes there is more to their new friend than meets the eye. LJ no slash
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 58,057 - Reviews: 980 - Favs: 492 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 6/15/2007 - Published: 8/25/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The Rookie by jncar reviews
Rookie Auror Tonks learns firsthand why rules against Aurors becoming romantically involved with persons under investigation exist. A GOFera RemusTonks romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,559 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/3/2006 - N. Tonks, Remus L. - Complete
The Games of the Gods, Book Two: Playing the Game by vericus reviews
Kari has been taken by the FBI, and Elrohir's dragged Glorfindel, Rachel, and friends back from Valinor to help him find her. Area 51 isn't going to know what hit it. THIS STORY IS ON AN INDEFINITE HIATUS. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 45,325 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 11/27/2006 - Published: 1/1/2006 - Glorfindel, Elrohir
Ron's Afro by TheLovelyNatalieRose reviews
Ron had never been happy with his hair. It never really 'described' him. He thought that he needed a hair style that described his personality and who he was. And finally one day, he discovered the afro. Join Ron as he struggles for acceptance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,446 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/23/2006 - Published: 6/26/2006 - Ron W.
Standing There By You by EyesofEmerald reviews
Join the Hogwarts gang as Sirius Black leads them through dangers using his cunning..ow, James! Sirius, you know this story is all about ME! Right Lily? POTTER! THIS STORY IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU, YOU ARROGANT, EGO ::Remus covers head w pillow:: Just read.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 62 - Words: 246,975 - Reviews: 2838 - Favs: 616 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 9/10/2006 - Published: 4/16/2004 - Lily Evans P., James P.
A Fork In An Eye by The Round Robin Ducklings reviews
The pain of unrequited love is sometimes equal to that of a stabbing eating utensil in your orbital socket. A discovery of love, extreme pain & superb failings. 6 authors, one classic Lily&James fanfiction. 'Never Fear! Sirius Man is here.'
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,224 - Reviews: 450 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 8/30/2006 - Published: 10/29/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Three Marauders and a Baby by TheFox101 reviews
Lily goes food shopping, leaving Harry with his father. James calls in reinforcements. This is going to be a long day...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,571 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 26 - Published: 7/18/2006 - Complete
May Angels Lead You In by kamers reviews
The storm of thoughts going through James' head right before he died. Rated for mild language.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,506 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/12/2006 - James P., Voldemort - Complete
The Noble and Most Ancient House of Weasley by punned reviews
If the Sorting Hat even had a head, it would have a headache. A headache spanning several decades.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 855 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/24/2006 - Complete
Girl Lessons by TheLovelyNatalieRose reviews
Two lovely girls come to Hogwarts and shake things up. Better than it sounds. Will make you die laughing. HG and RH. r&r I might change the title of the story later. Yeah, the title is weird. The mystery of Jordan is revealed in ch. 15!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 15,257 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/11/2006 - Published: 10/28/2005 - Complete
Nymph vs Wolf by Queriusole reviews
Lupin, Tonks, Black. Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin learn to work together despite the fact they are each a thorn in the other's side. Another take on Book 5. Minor edits.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 142,273 - Reviews: 532 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 3/22/2006 - Published: 9/8/2005 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
Use the Fork by Evil Shall Giggle reviews
In one of the precious happy moments of their relationship, Anakin and ObiWan have a little random burst of hilarity during dinner one day... tiny hints of Siriwan
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 415 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/22/2005
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2740 - Favs: 6,774 - Follows: 495 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
The Games of the Gods, Book One: Setting the Board by vericus reviews
The last thing Rachel wanted to become was a tooperfect MarySue. But when she dies and gets transported to MiddleEarth with her friend, she finds she has little choice in the matter. Rating for language and being a MarySue with an attitude.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 80 - Words: 285,571 - Reviews: 2409 - Favs: 754 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 4/23/2004 - Published: 9/1/2003 - Glorfindel, Haldir - Complete
Class Project reviews
Professor Minerva McGonagall has an evil idea to bestow a certain evil class project on her unknowing Seventh Years. But when the Ministry steps in, will she be able to exact her revenge? Love, hate, chaos, and our favorite characters. HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,572 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Lily Evans P., James P.