THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting = I've got my period
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me= Too late, you're dead.
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
If you're against abortion, repost this and add your name to the list. samredlamb7, dalek bob, HungerWho37, Punzie the Platypus, I Danced Once Upon A Dream
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says "if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven."
Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master...
Fav Fanfiction Quotes:
“I look like my great aunt Tessie!” he shouted, raising an arm to sniff at the robes, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “I smell like my great aunt Tessie!”
He turned to Harry, who was now neatly folding a handkerchief and poking it into his pocket.
“Murder me, Harry.”
- Why Dance When You Can Slay The Dragon? (Chapter 2)
- - -By: Lord Cargyle
"You put her to sleep?" he asked giving a quick glance to her face.
"Yes," replied Kunzite. "Where's Jade and Neph?"
Zoicite flashed a hate-filled glare at the Senshi, "Sitting on Endymion…literally. Dymion's frothing at the mouth. He wants to cover the park with blood, bone and entrails." His hands still added more gauze.
- Things Aren't Always What They Seem (Chapter 1)
- - -By: bashfulglowfly
Rule Five :
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about the issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my hikari safely back at the house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "five minutes ago". If not, then we will inquire further, concerning the subject of what flowers would you like at your funeral.
- Ten Rules for Dating my Hikari
- - -By: lalunaticscribe
Rule Nine :
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a doppelgänger of my hikari and an ordinary human, psychotic has-been. But on issues relating to my hikari, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have shadow magic in my hands, soul-searing monsters at my command and a whole realm to hide the body. Do not trifle with me.
- Ten Rules for Dating my Hikari
- - -By: lalunaticscribe
"We're going to a restaurant—nothing Mediterranean—and then we're going to that toy store you like so much. After that, I'm hiring a hit man. Malik won't be coming in on Monday."
Wishful thinking. It happens to the best of us.
- Lacunae (Chapter 15)
- - -By: Bat the Wood Elf
Jounouchi stared at him for a moment, amber eyes wide with a mixture of fear and incredulous amusement. America must have brought out some of the homicidal tendencies that Atemu was usually so good at repressing. "Eh heh…it's times like these that I'm really glad we're on the same team, bud."
"Of course," Atemu nodded firmly, "I have always valued you as a great friend and comrade. Obviously you will stand by my maxim of Mind Crush first, ask questions later against Kaiba next time."
"Sure thing p – wait what?"
"Atem!" Yugi hissed. "Ixnay on the Mind Cush-ay."
"Who's Mind Crushing what now?"
- - -By: RuRuLaLa
"Fine," Bakura repeated viciously. "Tell me where Ryou is. Please."
Somehow, when the King of Thieves said it, the word almost sounded like a threat.
"Where is he?" Bakura growled when neither Egyptian made any move to speak.
He tapped his fingers impatiently and tried to hide his embarrassment, but Marik was sure he saw the slightest tinge of pink tinting his cheeks.
"Well," Marik coughed, clearing his throat. "Logically, Ryou would go to someone he trusts, and someone you don't."
"He wouldn't want you to find him," Melvin continued apathetically. "But he would require someone with powerful magic."
"And the only person with that amount of power who would be willing to help Ryou without payment-" Marik trailed off.
"The Pharaoh," Bakura finished fiercely. "And his twerp. What the hell, so damn obvious," Bakura snapped, already heading for the door.
"Remember to apologize," Marik called after him. Bakura slammed the door in response.
- Powerless Addiction (Chapter 7)
- - -By: Crystia
"Derek, this shirt is tiny!" He said, pulling at the tight fabric.
"Did it go all the way on?" Morgan asked.
"Then it's the right fit."
"But it's clinging!"
Reid heard Morgan sigh. "It's supposed to cling."
- Out Of The Mouth (Chapter 4)
- - -By: everything-is-eninalus
Their jubilant cries that their eggs having Jack’s frost pattern had been extremely satisfying as well. Jack had lit up like a candle, his grin nearly stretching from ear to ear during the rest of the mad dash to hide the eggs around the world.
The others had joined in for the beginning, but Tooth and Sandy had work to do, and they’d accidently lost North somewhere around Madagascar.
Mostly accidentally. Partly accidentally. Liiiiiitle bit accidentally. Maybe.
Eh, North could find his way back home from there. The lion didn't look all that scary.
- 188 Hugs
- - -By: Icka M Chif
Bunny had saved the best of Jack’s frosted eggs for this, accenting the intricate patterns with lines of additional colour and bits of cut up shiny tinsel for gems to make them extra special.
Well, except for the one for the Groundhog... It was a good thing Punxsutawney had caught that one...
- 188 Hugs
- - -By: Icka M Chif
Q. Mr. Kaiba, if you do not cooperate, you do not present the chance the clear your name.
Hm, maybe I would cooperate if you stopped wasting my time. If you're going to accuse me of something, I want to see this so-called 'evidence'. And it better be good, because I already have plans to sue.
- Brief Interviews with Best Friends (Chapter 4)
- - -By: jkateel
Q. Are you threatening me, Mr. Mutou?
No, I'm warning you. And, you do doubt these claims. You don't really believe me – or Anzu, Jounouchi and Honda – had anything to do with this. We just happened to get caught up in it.
Q. What about Seto Kaiba's involvement?
I'll leave that to you. By all means, continue to investigate him.
Q. But…you were protesting his innocence—
That was then. This is now. I'm going to leave you now, so you can continue on your investigation. Remember, all Duel Monsters is a card game. But people have the tendency to put importance on things that should remain simple. They don't realize they should try to figure out what is truly important for them, instead of being obsessed with power, and fame, and other such things.
- Brief Interviews with Best Friends (Chapter 5)
- - -By: jkateel
"But those are just cards, Yuug'," Jounouchi said, waving his hand again. "Pieces of paper with tiny little microchips inside. This, this is blood. Much more binding!"
The look that crossed other Yuugi's face could only be compared to Jounouchi telling him that Seto Kaiba was a better duelist. "Um, Jounouchi," Honda said quickly, as other Yuugi's eyebrow twitched several times. "You might want to take that back."
"Eh?" Jounouchi frowned and then looked at the other Yuugi's face, where a flicker of a golden eye was glittering across his forehead. "Oh," was all he said, before he slowly lowered the knife. He swallowed, glanced nervously at Honda and then laughed weakly. "Cards are great, Yuug'! Cards are stronger than blood, of course, what was I thinking? S-Sorry!"
And that was that.
- Blood Brothers
- - -By: jkateel
And the smirk - the smirk that haunted Seto's nightmares - was back on the Pharaoh's face. Seto gritted his teeth and reminded himself that punching Yami would only get him, Seto, a one-way ticket on the Mind Crush Express. Been there, done that, bought the fucking travel brochure. Besides, if he got himself Mind Crushed again, Mokuba would kill him.
Seto sighed as he stalked along the empty corridor leading away from the dueling arena, long strides eating up the carpet. Beside him, Yami was practically jogging to keep up. Seto pinned on a smirk of his own and lengthened his stride. His mind was racing even faster than his legs. He had lost the duel, so now he had to give Yami a job.
"So," said the Yami in question. "Any ideas for my new position?"
Six feet under came to mind. Seto narrowly managed to shunt that comment aside, but the one right behind it made it past his self-preservation filters. "How about 'Vice-President in Charge of Leaving Me the Hell Alone'?"
"What kind of salary comes with that?"
Seto almost gaped at him before realizing Yami was yanking his chain. "When did you get a sense of humor?" he demanded, feeling as if he'd missed an important memo.
"I've always had one. I simply do not normally share it with anyone but Yugi."
"And yet you've chosen to inflict it on me. Gee. I feel so special."
"As well you should."
"…I hate you."
Yami smirked at him.
Seto stifled a groan. Maybe he could open up a branch office in Antarctica and appoint Yami as its head….
- Gainful Employment
- - -By: lucidscreamer
"But, Remus, there has to be something!" Sirius sounded desperate. Suddenly the werewolf sat straight up and stared unblinkingly into space for a long moment. Sirius watched in surprise as he then leapt to his feet and started striding towards the door. Sirius got to his feet to follow, wondering what was going on. "Umm, Moony, what's going on? Where are you going?"
Remus turned around, grabbed Sirius' sleeve and headed for the door once again, dragging the confused ex-convict along behind. "I just got an idea. We're going to the library."
Sirius moaned in mock terror. "Not again, Moony, you know I swore at graduation never to set foot in the library again. It was a public oath, I cannot go back on my word, you know. My honor would be forever besmirched." He started dragging his heels, totally ignoring the fact that the werewolf's superior strength made doing so absolutely useless.
"It's for Harry."
"Why are you walking so slow, Moony?"
- Redemption (Chapter 8)
- - -By: krtshadow
"Your thief just went to kill Kaiba," said Yami, and Ryou blinked.
Yuugi gazed at him, vaguely annoyed. "It's your fault people assume that being a light makes me pathetic, isn't it?"
"Oh no...I didn't mean it, Bakura!" he cried, jumping to his feet. "He's cute, but that's all! You're better! Uhm-" He paused in the doorway, his hand rising in a cross between a wave and an instruction to stay there. "Bye."
Yami stared, but Yuugi just smiled, waving lazily as Ryou disappeared.
- Tabloids are Evil
- - -By: LeDiz
"You're here so this means Potter wins doesn't it?" younger Draco admitted.
"He does and you're glad." older Draco nodded. "If he doesn't you won't make it long as a death eater. Voldemort has no use for someone who finds murder and torture distasteful. But this won't be easy. We won't slack off on you because we don't want you to mess up our time line. I like my life just fine how it is."
"You had better." said the woman sitting next to him. Younger Draco thought she was beautiful.
"Of course dear." Draco smiled at the woman.
"If I follow Potter I get to marry her?" Draco asked.
"Yes." his older self smirked.
"Harry I'm your new best friend got that." younger Draco insisted.
- Fate (Chapter 3)
- - -By: gredandforgerock
"Well, you did good this time. Real good," Gibbs praised with a smile and ruffling of Tony's hair. "Now, listen, Tony, I need you to do something for me. You listening?"
"Yeah, I'm listening," came the soft reply.
"I'm going to sit here and read my paper and drink this coffee, and I want you to go to sleep. And none of this half-awake crap the doctor tells me you've been doing. No one's gonna bother you, I got you're six. So just rest, ok?" Gibbs demanded gently.
Tony was really tired. He thought he might be able to finally get some uninterrupted sleep knowing Gibbs was hanging around. "On it, boss," he replied thinly. Then his eyes blinked open fully. "Thanks," he added, a multitude of unsaid feelings conveyed in the one simple word. The older agent smiled and carefully replaced the mask. He and DiNozzo didn't say much, but they understood each other perfectly. In a few minutes, Tony's eyes were closed, his face and body appearing relaxed for the first time in days.
Gibbs took a drink of his coffee and settled back to contemplate the murder of several terrorists and possibly the Director of NCIS.
- First Impressions (Chapter 4)
- - -By: ihearttony
Fav TV/Movie Quotes:
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Okay, so everything looks like it's password protected so you might not even be able to... you're in already, aren't you?
- Criminal Minds (The Performer, 2009)
Samantha 'Sam' Woo: I hate Mid-terms! They're nothing but a sadistic plot by teachers to get back at us because we're still young and they're bald!
- California Dreams (A Question of Math, 1993)
Jake Sommers: Come. Come!
- California Dreams (Sleazy Rider, 1993)
Fav YouTube Video Quotes:
Sirius: I thought I was Sirius.
- The Marauders (Episode 3)
Lockhart: I'm going to make you fabulous! Come on, it's time to hit the town.
- The Marauders (Episode 3)
Remus: Come to the kitchen.
- The Marauders (Episode 4)
THANK YOU FOR VISITING!!
Unsafe External Link