The Mans Guide To Female English:
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
Do you love me = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me= Too late, you're dead.
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
If you're against abortion, repost this
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says "if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven."
Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master...
Fav Fanfiction Quotes:
"You put her to sleep?" he asked giving a quick glance to her face.
"Yes," replied Kunzite. "Where's Jade and Neph?"
Zoicite flashed a hate-filled glare at the Senshi, "Sitting on Endymion…literally. Dymion's frothing at the mouth. He wants to cover the park with blood, bone and entrails." His hands still added more gauze.
- Things Aren't Always What They Seem (Chapter 1)
- - -By: bashfulglowfly
Rule Nine :
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a doppelgänger of my hikari and an ordinary human, psychotic has-been. But on issues relating to my hikari, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have shadow magic in my hands, soul-searing monsters at my command and a whole realm to hide the body. Do not trifle with me.
- Ten Rules for Dating my Hikari
- - -By: lalunaticscribe
"We're going to a restaurant—nothing Mediterranean—and then we're going to that toy store you like so much. After that, I'm hiring a hit man. Malik won't be coming in on Monday."
Wishful thinking. It happens to the best of us.
- Lacunae (Chapter 15)
- - -By: Bat the Wood Elf
Jounouchi stared at him for a moment, amber eyes wide with a mixture of fear and incredulous amusement. America must have brought out some of the homicidal tendencies that Atemu was usually so good at repressing. "Eh heh…it's times like these that I'm really glad we're on the same team, bud."
"Of course," Atemu nodded firmly, "I have always valued you as a great friend and comrade. Obviously you will stand by my maxim of Mind Crush first, ask questions later against Kaiba next time."
"Sure thing p – wait what?"
"Atem!" Yugi hissed. "Ixnay on the Mind Cush-ay."
"Who's Mind Crushing what now?"
- - -By: RuRuLaLa
"Well," Marik coughed, clearing his throat. "Logically, Ryou would go to someone he trusts, and someone you don't."
"He wouldn't want you to find him," Melvin continued apathetically. "But he would require someone with powerful magic."
"And the only person with that amount of power who would be willing to help Ryou without payment-" Marik trailed off.
"The Pharaoh," Bakura finished fiercely. "And his twerp. What the hell, so damn obvious," Bakura snapped, already heading for the door.
"Remember to apologize," Marik called after him. Bakura slammed the door in response.
- Powerless Addiction (Chapter 7)
- - -By: Crystia
"Derek, this shirt is tiny!" He said, pulling at the tight fabric.
"Did it go all the way on?" Morgan asked.
"Then it's the right fit."
"But it's clinging!"
Reid heard Morgan sigh. "It's supposed to cling."
- Out Of The Mouth (Chapter 4)
- - -By: everything-is-eninalus
Their jubilant cries that their eggs having Jack’s frost pattern had been extremely satisfying as well. Jack had lit up like a candle, his grin nearly stretching from ear to ear during the rest of the mad dash to hide the eggs around the world.
The others had joined in for the beginning, but Tooth and Sandy had work to do, and they’d accidently lost North somewhere around Madagascar.
Mostly accidentally. Partly accidentally. Liiiiiitle bit accidentally. Maybe.
Eh, North could find his way back home from there. The lion didn't look all that scary.
- 188 Hugs
- - -By: Icka M Chif
Q. Are you threatening me, Mr. Mutou?
No, I'm warning you. And, you do doubt these claims. You don't really believe me – or Anzu, Jounouchi and Honda – had anything to do with this. We just happened to get caught up in it.
Q. What about Seto Kaiba's involvement?
I'll leave that to you. By all means, continue to investigate him.
Q. But…you were protesting his innocence—
That was then. This is now. I'm going to leave you now, so you can continue on your investigation. Remember, all Duel Monsters is a card game. But people have the tendency to put importance on things that should remain simple. They don't realize they should try to figure out what is truly important for them, instead of being obsessed with power, and fame, and other such things.
- Brief Interviews with Best Friends (Chapter 5)
- - -By: jkateel
"But those are just cards, Yuug'," Jounouchi said, waving his hand again. "Pieces of paper with tiny little microchips inside. This, this is blood. Much more binding!"
The look that crossed other Yuugi's face could only be compared to Jounouchi telling him that Seto Kaiba was a better duelist. "Um, Jounouchi," Honda said quickly, as other Yuugi's eyebrow twitched several times. "You might want to take that back."
"Eh?" Jounouchi frowned and then looked at the other Yuugi's face, where a flicker of a golden eye was glittering across his forehead. "Oh," was all he said, before he slowly lowered the knife. He swallowed, glanced nervously at Honda and then laughed weakly. "Cards are great, Yuug'! Cards are stronger than blood, of course, what was I thinking? S-Sorry!"
And that was that.
- Blood Brothers
- - -By: jkateel
"So," said the Yami in question. "Any ideas for my new position?"
Six feet under came to mind. Seto narrowly managed to shunt that comment aside, but the one right behind it made it past his self-preservation filters. "How about 'Vice-President in Charge of Leaving Me the Hell Alone'?"
"What kind of salary comes with that?"
Seto almost gaped at him before realizing Yami was yanking his chain. "When did you get a sense of humor?" he demanded, feeling as if he'd missed an important memo.
"I've always had one. I simply do not normally share it with anyone but Yugi."
"And yet you've chosen to inflict it on me. Gee. I feel so special."
"As well you should."
"…I hate you."
- Gainful Employment
- - -By: lucidscreamer
"But, Remus, there has to be something!" Sirius sounded desperate. Suddenly the werewolf sat straight up and stared unblinkingly into space for a long moment. Sirius watched in surprise as he then leapt to his feet and started striding towards the door. Sirius got to his feet to follow, wondering what was going on. "Umm, Moony, what's going on? Where are you going?"
Remus turned around, grabbed Sirius' sleeve and headed for the door once again, dragging the confused ex-convict along behind. "I just got an idea. We're going to the library."
Sirius moaned in mock terror. "Not again, Moony, you know I swore at graduation never to set foot in the library again. It was a public oath, I cannot go back on my word, you know. My honor would be forever besmirched." He started dragging his heels, totally ignoring the fact that the werewolf's superior strength made doing so absolutely useless.
"It's for Harry."
"Why are you walking so slow, Moony?"
- Redemption (Chapter 8)
- - -By: krtshadow
"Your thief just went to kill Kaiba," said Yami, and Ryou blinked.
Yuugi gazed at him, vaguely annoyed. "It's your fault people assume that being a light makes me pathetic, isn't it?"
"Oh no...I didn't mean it, Bakura!" he cried, jumping to his feet. "He's cute, but that's all! You're better! Uhm-" He paused in the doorway, his hand rising in a cross between a wave and an instruction to stay there. "Bye."
Yami stared, but Yuugi just smiled, waving lazily as Ryou disappeared.
- Tabloids are Evil
- - -By: LeDiz
"You're here so this means Potter wins doesn't it?" younger Draco admitted.
"He does and you're glad." older Draco nodded. "If he doesn't you won't make it long as a death eater. Voldemort has no use for someone who finds murder and torture distasteful. But this won't be easy. We won't slack off on you because we don't want you to mess up our time line. I like my life just fine how it is."
"You had better." said the woman sitting next to him. Younger Draco thought she was beautiful.
"Of course dear." Draco smiled at the woman.
"If I follow Potter I get to marry her?" Draco asked.
"Yes." his older self smirked.
"Harry I'm your new best friend got that." younger Draco insisted.
- Fate (Chapter 3)
- - -By: gredandforgerock
"Well, you did good this time. Real good," Gibbs praised with a smile and ruffling of Tony's hair. "Now, listen, Tony, I need you to do something for me. You listening?"
"Yeah, I'm listening," came the soft reply.
"I'm going to sit here and read my paper and drink this coffee, and I want you to go to sleep. And none of this half-awake crap the doctor tells me you've been doing. No one's gonna bother you, I got you're six. So just rest, ok?" Gibbs demanded gently.
Tony was really tired. He thought he might be able to finally get some uninterrupted sleep knowing Gibbs was hanging around. "On it, boss," he replied thinly. Then his eyes blinked open fully. "Thanks," he added, a multitude of unsaid feelings conveyed in the one simple word. The older agent smiled and carefully replaced the mask. He and DiNozzo didn't say much, but they understood each other perfectly. In a few minutes, Tony's eyes were closed, his face and body appearing relaxed for the first time in days.
Gibbs took a drink of his coffee and settled back to contemplate the murder of several terrorists and possibly the Director of NCIS.
- First Impressions (Chapter 4)
- - -By: ihearttony
"Steve. Okay." Tony’s breath got more even, but then he muttered, "I’ll be Iron Man, you be Captain America."
Steve was surprised into a laugh, and Alex was clearly amused as well.
"Not funny," Tony mumbled, situating himself more comfortably with his head again in Steve’s lap. "I’ll have great toys, and Steve will have tight pants. You’ll look great in tight pants."
- Everything They Said (Chapter 3)
- - -By: Jilly James
Tony had been as good as his word and, with Jack’s and John’s help, had chosen a room and then had it outfitted as a basketball court. Jim had been there when Jack had signed the request forms, saying, “I love signing this sort of thing. I get this. Basketball, it’s a good thing. It makes sense to me.” Then Jack had frowned at Daniel. “Why don’t you bring me things like this to sign?”
- Four Military Men
- - -By: Lady Ra
"There are perfectly good universities here in Japan Mamoru," Usagi pointed out.
"Tokyo-U is very good," he agreed. "But Harvard in America, or Oxford in Britain are more globally recognized, and we'd be experiencing another culture and polishing our skills with English, which is rapidly becoming a global language," he continued.
"And have you thought about how would the Shitennou react to you being in a different country?" Usagi questioned. "Or how the Senshi would react to me being somewhere they can't keep an eye on me?"
Mamoru winced. "You're right," he answered. "Tokyo-U it is."
- Sail Smarter, Not Harder (Chapter 7)
- - -By: fringeperson
Tony decided it was time for some recon work and took to the air.
“We’ve got a half dozen of them coming down Eighth,” Tony told the team.
“I have them Iron Man!” Thor announced in the way only Thor could. “Have no fear. They shall be made to respect the bubble!” Tony seriously considered just leaving the battle to the rest of the team and finding a nice paper bag to put over his head. But there was Steve and, Jesus-fucking-Christ, something could happen.
- This Is Not A Drill (Chapter 4)
- - -By: sabrecmc
By the time they made it to their suite, Tony had calmed down considerably. Well, he didn't want to shoot Clint anymore, at least. It seemed like such effort, and Steve was here and he was running his hand up and down Tony's spine and oh, bless him, he was still holding onto the sofa cushion. He really was the best Omega ever.
- This Is Not A Drill: Honeymoon Edition (Chapter 2)
- - -By: sabrecmc
“Hey, check this out,” Bucky said, taking a seat in front of Tony in his usual spot at the corner of the café.
Tony hummed in answer, putting his tablet away and looked at Bucky as he began scrolling on his Dell. A dell. If Tony weren’t curious of what’s Bucky going to show him, he would’ve just thrown the dell at the nearest window. Bucky’s been friends with Tony for quite some time and he has the audacity to use a dell in front of him?
- A Dozen Roses and A Peony
- - -By: starkpad
“So basically,” Clint said as he stared at the white Ragdoll cat on Tony’s lap, purring as Steve pets it. “You adopted a cat and named her Riceball Stark-Rogers.”
“Yes,” Steve answered without glancing away from the cat.
“And you named her riceball because?” Bruce asked, waving his hands.
“Because it’s a cute name and she’s cute,” Tony explained.
“Oh my god,” Clint whined, “What next? You’re going to adopt a kid?”
At that, Steve actually looked up at Tony, a hopeful look in his eyes.
“No,” Tony said, rolling his eyes when Steve pouted, trying to get his way. “We have riceball.”
“No buts.” Tony cut in firmly. “Thanks for giving him ideas, Clint, now I’m going to have to deal with a pouting super soldier everytime he sees a child.”
- Casually In Love
- - -By: starkpad
Steve finds the flowers on his doorstep. In the slack grip of an unconscious, trussed-up and gagged HYDRA agent. (Steve can tell because the first thing he says when Steve wakes him, ripping the tape off is “Hail Hydra, Hail Hydra,” over and over again, like a broken record. Steve tapes his mouth shut again.)
There’s a tag on the bouquet, which Steve flips over. On the back, in Bucky’s characteristically messy scrawl, it says: Found him watching you @ the park. Jog somewhere else, Rogers.
“What the hell’s all this racket?” Sam yells from his room. There’s a click as the door opens and then Sam’s padding down the hall. Steve knows precisely when he rounds the corner because he lets out a manly yelp – “Steve, what the fuck!”
Steve and the HYDRA agent both look up; Steve with a dreamy, far-away look in his eyes, the agent with unadulterated terror in his.
“He’s… he sent me this.” Steve thrusts the bouquet at Sam. “He left me a note, Sam.”
- Honey Our Love's Bittersweet (Just How I Like It)
- - -By: WhatIsAir
Tony loved baseball night, because when it came to baseball, Captain America was kind of a dick. It was awesome. Tony was thankful Stark Industries sprang for a box because when they inevitably ended up on the Jumbotron, Steve just looked really passionate about the game and no one could tell he was heckling the crap out of the Yankees. When Tony asked, with an enormous grin, how Steve could possibly say such things to people, Steve just looked calmly at Tony and replied, “Tony, they aren’t people. They’re the Yankees,” and shook his head sadly.
Tony spent a day and a half exploring moving the Dodgers back to Brooklyn when he got a rather pointed call from Pepper, who, despite Tony’s attempt to explain about Steve’s smile and how important this was, said none too delicately, “You cannot buy the Dodgers and move them across the country to make your boyfriend happy. Just stop waxing poetic and say the actual words to Steve, Tony, for the love of God.” And hung up on him. Boyfriend, huh? Tony kind of liked the sound of that. At least when he said it to himself. Not out loud, God forbid.
- Poster Child (Chapter 6)
- - -By: sabrecmc
Other people had begun strolling over, calling out their congratulations. Bucky railroaded through the crowd with about five unlit sparklers stuck in his bun, nursing a non-alcoholic beer. He sighed and threw his fake arm around Steve’s shoulders with an exaggerated sniff. “I can’t believe my baby’s getting’ married.”
“No, really Steve, I’m so proud of you, my son –“
“ - whom I birthed –“
“ – and wrapped in the flag of freedom –“
“Bucky, shut the fuck up.”
“Hey! We are proud of our son!” Sam shouted from where he was tending three grills with Thor, who where both wearing frilly aprons and chef hats printed with the flag. “Let the mother of the bride have her moment.”
“Excuse you, but I am the mother of the bride,” Rhodey announced grandly.
“Eat shit and die, Rhodes. You’re the mother of the groom and will be wearing taupe accordingly,” Bucky sneered playfully. “As the mother of the bride I will be wowing everyone in blue. Or violet.”
“You can’t pull off violet,” Rhodey scoffed.
“Violet brings out my eyes, you ass!”
“Do they think mother outranks best man?” Jane asked, juggling a squirming Brandt.
“I don’t care. Just let me be the drunk uncle,” Clint intoned before Natasha swatted him.
- Freedom's Light Burnin' Warm
- - -By: laudatenium
THANK YOU FOR VISITING!!