henrique14
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Joined 05-06-18, id: 10714773, Profile Updated: 10-25-20
Author has written 5 stories for Bolt, Star Wars, PAW Patrol, and Peter Rabbit series.

Hey guys so my Bolt and P.A.W. Patrol stories are now on hiatus because I'm focused on the stories below...

Sup y'all i'm cookin up a lit af story for harry potter :) be prepared

Calling all Big Time Rush fans!!1!!!1! Hope y'all are excited for a new fanfic! It's gonna be a crossover too ;)


I love the Devils and hate the Rangers and Flyers.

Go check out @Tererri's stories his stories are lit

Some of my favorite quotes..

"When shit happens turn it into fertilizer" - Kute Blackson when talking about his cute black son

"Sometimes, music is like poop. It just has to come out" - Mark Salling

"My coyotes are fighting each other again" - Some guy on Omegle

"He slapped Finn's rear, like all the cadets used to do in training to motivate each other" -Page 139 of Star Wars The Last Jedi Junior Novel by Michael Kogge

"'Well, time to learn. By the way, the ball droid's in the toilet'" -Page 136 of The Last Jedi Expanded Edition by Jason Fry

"'Woah, Andy, do you have a black eye?' *Meredith walks in* 'Hey guys I was on the can. What's all this talk about a black guy in the office?'" -The Office

"My Charmin, my wife" - From the song "Just a Dream" by Nelly


Live Laugh Poop

"What's your favorite color of shit?"
"Probably brown." - @Terreri

Hey y'all you know that song "Marvin Gaye" by Charlie Puth, yeah, my brother thought the chorus was: Your mom is gay lets get it on.


I LOVE KYLO REN

I TOTALLY SHIP HIM WITH REY

Hey y'all I just wanted to say that I've been on that ship since 2017. I started shipping Reylo since the dawn of time. jk I actually started shipping it after I saw The Last Jedi. With that knowledge in mind, you could probably imagine how muCH MY SOUL SHATTERED WHEN I SAW BEEEN TAKE THE BIGGEST L OF THE CENTURY AND FREAKING DIE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS SOULMATE/LOVE OF HIS LIFE. HE DEADASS GAVE HIS FREAKING LIFE TO SAVE HER. MY SHIP WAS THRIVING FOR A GOOD 36 SECONDS AND THEN JJ DECIDED TO TAKE A BIG SHIT ON MY SHIP. but even though Beeen took a big L...

MY SHIP IS CANON.

REYLO IS CANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Us Reylos won in the end, so all y'all finnrey shippers can suck it


My favorite Kylo Ren / Ben quotes

"Ow" -Beeen


I LOVE WHEAT AND SOY IN THE SHAPE OF ANIMALS THAT I FEED TO PETEY WHEATSTRAW

I LOVE MEAT ROUNDS AT THE BISCUIT BELT


Name: Schijler

Gender: Female ;)

Age: 16

I live in Louisiana y'all so good luck finding me :) my house is the one with the outhouse covered in Charmin toilet paper. Because I'm Charmin clean! Oh yeah, my tushy's clean! Oops I mean hiney, y'all!!!!!!! My cheeks are pretty from the nitty to the gritty. Charmin booty is a thing of beauty!!!1 My Charmin booty smile has me smiling from cheek to cheek :)))))

Oh btw y'all i just saw a REAL nun in the store the other day


My OCs (if anyone uses one of my ocs i'll hunt y'all down :)

The 46 nuns- featured in "A Gay Ol' Time"

Likes: A good batch of corn in their designated corn bowls and busting through the door with the Agent.

Dislikes: Overcooked corn

Age: They are all 46 because they were all born on January 19 {it is coincidentally also national (pop)corn day}

Potty- featured in "A Gay Ol' Time"

Likes: Potties

Dislikes: The APF (the Anti Potty Federation)


My Likes: laxatives, P.A.W. Patrol, Kute Blackson (and his cute black son), the Lord, gathering 'round the bowl, lore, reading my fanfic reviews, thrown up barf, flaming sandpaper, reading Reylo fanfiction, shipping things, shipping things in the mail, shipping things in the boat dock, the song 'when life gives me lemons I make lemonade', jorgen von strangle.

My Dislikes: Okay let me think...what do I dislike...Well I hate when I take a shit and toilet water hits my ass, my dad, coconut flavoured things, bannanas, people who think they're all that, grandparents that won't shut up, my hometown, pets that sit around and won't do anything, my uncle cos he won't get a haircut, people who hate goths, paper cos it gives you paper cuts, teachers that moan at you for nothing, people who don't like my stories, people from Alabama, anything orange, spilling soy sauce on my favorite bloomers, when someone's leg warmers get caught on my toe ring, when you're watching a sad anime and you have no more paper towels, a dirty butt rag, My dad, when my cat wipes her bippy across my carpet, people who think I am a troll, when a bum steals my good shitting toilet paper out of my safe, when someone takes a picture of my butt and sends it to mr. rogers' neighborhood, when someone outside the bathroom stall takes my hamburger off the floor when I'm tryna take a shit, when my good chili bowl is dirty, 1-ply toilet paper, when people force me to wear pants.


Top 10 favorite Big Time Rush songs

1) Worldwide (the episode that this song was in made me cry when I watched it for the first time becAUSE JO WAS LEAVING AND IT WAS SO SAD :'(((((((((

2) City is Ours (my brother had a dream about this song)

3) If I Ruled the World (for all of y'all that watched the episode this song was in: dirt boy is my favorite)

4) Halfway There

5) I Know U Know

6) Elevate (If you don't remember when Big Time Rush dropped down from a helicopter, after they saved the world from Atticus the Merciless by throwing the anti-gravity BEETLE on his back, and sang this song in Big Time Movie, are you really a BTR fan?????????????????????????)

7) Big Night

8) Til I Forget About You

9) Nothing Even Matters

10) Famous

11) The Giant Turd Song


My favorite songs that ain't BTR (not in any particular order)

I Promise You by James Corden

Money in The Grave by Drake

No Escape by Claybank

I Wash My Face in the Morning Dew by Tom T Hall

Bandit by Juice WRLD

Put Some Bluegrass In My Ear by Deeper Shade of Blue

When The River Meets The Sea by Ma Otter

When God Made You by Newsong

Hasa Diga Eebowai from Broadway's musical The Book Of Mormon

Feuer Frei! by Rammstein

Find Me by Nicki Minaj

Brothers In Our World by Ma Otter ft. Jubilee Jugband

I Wonder How The Old Folks Are at Home by Mac Wiseman & The Country Boys

It's You by Ducksauce

Just a Dream by Nelly

Ain't No Hole In The Washtub by Paul Williams

Hot Remix by Young Thug

'Neath that That Cold Grey Tomb of Stone by Lilly Brothers

Photograph by Kidz Bop cover of Nickelback song

Naked by James Arthur

I Believe from Broadway's musical The Book Of Mormon

Yub Nub by John Williams

Highest In The Room by Travis Scott

All-American Prophet from Broadway's musical The Book Of Mormon

Boom Clap (them cheeks) by Charli XC

Ohio Fried Chicken by Jake Paul

Without you by David Guetta


The very long list of things that I ship (not in any particular order except for the first and second ones)

1) REYLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kylo Ren x Rey)

2) Mileven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Mike x Eleven)

3) Jongritte (Jon Snow x Ygritte)

4) Missworm (Missandei x Grey Worm)

5) Stormpilot (Finn x Poe)

6) Bellward (Bella x Edward)

7) Jendall (Jo x Kendall)

8) Beamas (Bea x Thomas from peter rabbit)

9) Hiccstrid (Hiccup x Astrid)

10) Genebreak (Gene x Jailbreak)

11) Bethyl (Beth x Daryl)

12) Carnid (Carl x Enid)

13) Lumax (Lucas x Max)

14) Wipside Down (Will x Upside Down)

15) Lomille (Logan x Camille)

16) Agoltino (Agent x Bolt x Rhino)

17) Reylux (Rey x Kylo Ren x Hux)

18) Cloudlet (Will I make a Cloud x Kayla Toilet from Cloud 9)

19) Tedrey (Ted x Audrey)

Things that I will never ship as long as I'm still breathing. I am also prepared to physicALLY SINK THESE SHIPS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I'LL DO

1) Finnrey (Finn x Rey)

2) Richonne (Rick x Michonne)

3) Caryl (Carol x Daryl)

4) Finnrose (Finn x Rose)

5) Reypoe (Rey x Poe)


If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know someone who was run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU LIKE BAGELS

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you think High School Musical is evil, and brainwashes little kids, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you ever freaked people at your school and still do, copy this on to your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile

IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you start to freak out when you can't find one of your copies of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn when really you haven't lost it but your evil sadistic bunny of a sister thought it would be funny to hide them from you just so she could see you freak out, copy and paste this to your profile. (I'm constantly freaking! My sister has Twilight, New Moon, and Breaking Dawn with her three hundred miles away in Florida!)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you risk severe lower back problems because of being hunched over the computer so long, copy and paste this into your profile then get off the goddamn computer, Quasimodo!

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

16. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

17. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

18. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

19. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

20. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

21. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

22. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

23. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

24. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

25. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

26. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark


Excuse me...have you seen my sanity?...I think I lost it.

I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.


I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid and stuck up.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I READ COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie.
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch.
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention.
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans
I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature
I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet.
I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I MUST just be emo.
I like COUNTRY music, so I MUST be a redneck hick.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I love SHOPPING so I MUST be rich
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be Anakin Skywalker LABELED

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Matchmaker by MidnightRose2000 reviews
It would be so easy to hate each other, to be enemies. Unfortunately, the Force has other plans. Post TLJ
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 54,792 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 8/9 - Published: 7/4/2018 - [Rey, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo]
Just A Moment by lou77 reviews
Reylo One Shot: Rey is on Kylo Ren's ship with Finn and Poe and they have a run in. She has to make a choice between her friends and him.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,691 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/5 - Published: 12/30/2019 - Rey, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo - Complete
in the moments that could have been by fedupwithfairytales reviews
Where Rey isn't a Palpatine, Leia's death has meaning, and that ending doesn't happen.
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,658 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/26/2019 - [Rey, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo] Leia O., E. Palpatine - Complete
Tarkin's Fist Episode III The Earth Strikes Back by AshlaTi reviews
Bringing the war to Star Wars. Both sides will be brought to their knees. The ultimate victory may not be winning but simple survival. Stomtroopers, TIE fighters, Jedi, Emperors, Presidents, AT-ATs, Moffs, Scoundrels and Zealots all collide over control of the Sol System
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 85 - Words: 783,510 - Reviews: 1939 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 12/25/2019 - Published: 11/30/2013 - Complete
Balance by gracethescribbler reviews
Rey and Kylo's continued conversations after their fight with Snoke lead them to realizations about themselves, each other, and the Force that they never anticipated - first among them being that everything is much more complicated than they wish it was. Slow burn.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 40 - Words: 94,942 - Reviews: 863 - Favs: 747 - Follows: 1,174 - Updated: 12/22/2019 - Published: 12/15/2017 - [Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, Rey]
There's some use crying over spilled milk by RavenclawWeasel531 reviews
Anakin and Obi-Wan's first night back at the Temple without Qui-Gon.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,504 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/29/2018 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K. - Complete
Advertising from the Dark Side by hp1piececraziness reviews
When First Order recruitment reaches an all-time low, Supreme Leader Snoke orders Kylo Ren and General Hux to create a new series of advertisements. As usual, personal interests and emotional outbursts get in the way. Could this be a failure that tops the destruction of Starkiller Base? Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,249 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/7/2018 - Published: 1/6/2018 - [Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, Rey] [General Hux, Poe D.]
Balance by NotSoJollywood reviews
Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The Force was all about balance, and yet neither of them knew exactly where they stood. WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE FORCE AWAKENS. Eventual Kylo/Rey.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 89,151 - Reviews: 911 - Favs: 1,175 - Follows: 1,320 - Updated: 12/19/2016 - Published: 12/20/2015 - [Rey, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo] Luke S., Leia O. - Complete
Emmett Cullen's Jug Band Christmas by Undercooked reviews
A parody of 'Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas'. C'mon, Emmet and Alice Otter? It was BEGGING to be parodied! Crack isn't a writing style, it's a way of life! T for mild language, drug use, and frequent removal of pants. Bad Carlisle!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,003 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/15/2008 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Emmett
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Gay Ol' Time reviews
A big bang ;))))))). BoltxRhinoxThe Agent. This ain't for the children, if ya know what i mean ;) Y'all are gonna need to bathe in some holy water after ya read this one ;)
Bolt - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 21 - Words: 6,554 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7/10 - Published: 5/13/2018 - [Bolt, OC, Rhino]
Attack of the Rabbits
This is a story of the ongoing feud between Thomas McGregor (General Hux) and Peter Rabbit.
Crossover - Star Wars & Peter Rabbit series - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,439 - Published: 7/29/2019 - Complete
More Ships than the Dock reviews
Bolt x Everest. Mittens x Rubble. Ryder (fuckboi) x The Director. Rhino x Chickaletta. Chase x Skye. Tracker x Priscilla. Sweetie x Rocky. Katie x Alex. Zuma x Cap'n Turbot. Marshall x Farmer Al. Mayor Goodway x Mayor Humdinger. Each chapter will focus on a different couple. Hope y'all enjoy!
Crossover - Bolt & PAW Patrol - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,061 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2/2/2019 - Published: 7/7/2018
Fixing the Abominations (prequels)
Fixing the abominations of what Ol' Turkeyneck plagued the Earth with.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,879 - Published: 9/8/2018
Love and Affection reviews
This is an epilogue to the movie and it is a oneshot
Bolt - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,439 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/14/2018 - Bolt, Mittens - Complete