EvilReceptionistOfDoom
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Joined 06-20-06, id: 1071608, Profile Updated: 04-26-17
Author has written 13 stories for Naruto, Lord of the Rings, Phantom of the Opera, Star Wars, Mad Max, and Serei no Moribito.

Dear Reader: DON'T GIVE UP ON ME! I will finish these stories. I will. Someday. Maybe. Hopefully. ...Actually, let's be honest: you can go ahead and give up on me. Sorry. I suck. Writing is hard.

I used to believe the average age of fanfiction.net users was about 15, making me embarrassingly older than average, but now I think the site has become a tumbleweed-crossed ghost town with only a few old-timers still popping by now and again, which makes me sad. Back in my day, kids, used to be you could post any story, any fandom, and be guaranteed a review within a day of posting. There were THAT MANY PEOPLE on the site! Ain't that something?

Right now my favorite thing is a super obscure anime from like 10 years ago and the (entirely in Japanese) books from which it came. Seirei no Moribito is this really awesome low-fantasy story about a badass woman warrior who rescues a boy from court intrigue, and if you like good worldbuilding, strong female characters, and expert characterization for even minor folks, you should definitely watch this show.

I also wrote "The Tragicall History of Romiet and Isilea", which may be found in my "Favorite Stories" section. In case you were wondering, which you were, because I say you were, and I, like God and television, am always right. Isn't that nice?

I am also on Ao3 under the same penname, on fictionpress.com as WhenceComethThisBoredom (http://www.fictionpress.com/u/530656/) and sort of on deviantArt as haius (haius . deviantart . com). Should you feel so inclined.

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carve my splinters out by egelantier reviews
Shuga and Mon, one late night conversation between episodes 17 and 18.
Serei no Moribito - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,186 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/3/2016 - Complete
The Peanut Gallery by Your Tomodachi reviews
Balsa and Tanda's relationship is complicated and a subject they'd rather avoid, but people just can't seem to let it go.
Serei no Moribito - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 36,621 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 5/6/2015 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Complete
The Facebook of Dorian Gray by Sakyla reviews
Basically Dorian Gray and many characters from the book chatting on Facebook. The story is kind of random and extremely loosely based on the book with little chronological order. All characters based on the book. Slightly Dorian X Harry
Picture of Dorian Gray - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 581 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/11/2012 - Dorian G.
Fake Plastic Life by Amatara reviews
When Alexander was eight, he threw a temper tantrum over a school play.
Galaxy Quest - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,711 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2012 - Complete
Beloved by GuardianEnzo reviews
Sometimes two spirits are joined in such a way that no obstacles human or spiritual can tear them apart. More then a year has passed since Chagum and Balsa said farewell, but neither has forgotten the other. Will fate allow their paths to cross once more?
Serei no Moribito - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 82,432 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Complete
Nemesis by Glimmermir reviews
What if they threw a superbattle and nobody came? Johnny waits in the park.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 689 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/20/2009 - Complete
Binary by Rhinemaiden Number 4 reviews
Flynn adjusts to life as a program, discusses philosophy with Ram, and wonders what an actuarial program really does while killing time in the prison block. Some coarse language and hints of preslash, as well as computer humor. Enjoy.
Tron - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 876 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/29/2007 - Complete
My Adventure by Thimble reviews
Gandalf exclaimed once: 'That I should live to be 'Good morninged' by a son of Belladonna Took' Bilbo's mum has a story to tell and this is it. Holidays by the Sea, Elves, and much Falling in the Water.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,776 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/11/2006 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Complete
Scars by Rowena Zahnrei reviews
Inspired by the X-Men 2 Nightcrawler Prequel and "X2: X-Men United," this story explores the questions: Why did Nightcrawler leave the X-Men, and where did he go? How might the former circus performer overcome the stigma of being The White House Assassin? The shapeshifting Mystique may hold the answers... COMPLETE STORY! Please Review!
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,391 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/13/2006 - Raven/Mystique, Nightcrawler - Complete
Stolen by A. Meril reviews
Dark AU ficlet. Galadriel watches the ruin of her world. Warning: dark imagery and character death.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 590 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Published: 10/24/2005 - Galadriel, Sauron - Complete
It Will Be Done, My Lord by Qoheleth reviews
A clone's-eye view of Order 66.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 11 - Published: 10/2/2005 - Complete
The Tragicall History of Romiet and Isilea by Mint Chips reviews
Crossover of "Lord of the Rings" and "Romeo and Juliet". R+J is something that I hate very much, so, with the help of my fellow Romeo-hater friend "Tybylas", she's penned a piece about it and I've published it...
Book X-overs - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,300 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/3/2002
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Hunters of the Holy Spirit reviews
Filling in the gaps in the show with what the Mikado's Hunters were up to. Will contain: angst, ninja BFFs, detective work, fluff, serious business, a hot-pot party (because when is there NOT a hot-pot party?), angstier angst, fluffier fluff, a peek into Hunter Host Club, and the difficulties of getting Rarunga guts out of one's uniform. Not just a retelling of the show. Promise.
Serei no Moribito - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,109 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/15 - Published: 11/15/2016
The Reluctant Sith reviews
A poor freighter pilot from a backwater system is about to have his life turned upside-down. He will rise to become one of the most powerful Jedi the galaxy has ever known - but in the struggle between light and dark, there are always casualties.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,318 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/18/2016 - Published: 4/19/2016
A Lesson in Obedience
Eighteen-year-old Jin, newly-promoted and eager to prove himself, is sent to stop a coup against the Mikado - but this mission doesn't go according to plan. - Takes place a few years before the show. Story is illustrated; link inside. T for general violence - the Hunters are assassins, after all!
Serei no Moribito - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,977 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/21/2016 - Published: 6/19/2016 - Complete
Hunters' Day Off
A slice-of-life piece about Mon being a good leader who never has fun ever, and Sun being very good at being a girl. Takes place a few years before the show.
Serei no Moribito - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,797 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/2/2016 - Complete
Son of the Poxeclipse reviews
A lonely Wasteland tramper looking for answers will find destiny in the fortress of a woman warlord, if only he can stop running from the past. - Same world as the films, but different characters.
Mad Max - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,685 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/10/2015 - Published: 8/4/2015
Strange Visitor reviews
A Jedi fetches a high price in a galaxy ruled by the Empire. This one has been running since Order 66... but his luck is running out.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,327 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/26/2009 - Published: 10/16/2007 - Complete
Bride of Morgoth reviews
Multiple deaths, time travel, Sauron, various badtempered Nazgul, jet airplanes, balrogs, talking heads, ruined cities, a man named Marshall, dirt, and your mom. No, I was kidding about that last one. Please read and review! or I will cry!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 18,049 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 7/7/2006 - Sauron, Witch-King of Angmar
Artsy and Pretentious Star Wars Poetry reviews
Lord I'm a nerd.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 317 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/18/2007 - Anakin Skywalker, Yoda - Complete
Middle Earth Soccer! Hobbits vs Dragons! reviews
Third quarterfinal match, and it couldn't be more unfair... or could it? What happens if your goalie eats the ref? Will our small friends survive? And what does roasted hobbit actually smell like? Read it and find out!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,344 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 4/10/2007 - Published: 3/21/2007 - Complete
Middle Earth Soccer Continues! Mordor v Mirkwood reviews
It's the second match of the quarterfinals, and the old rivalries are going strong... Will the orcs learn to manage their anger? How many red cards can one player actually recieve? Is the goal still legal if the player who makes it is dead?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,181 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/21/2007 - Published: 7/11/2006 - Complete
Man, Raoul, it Sucks to Be You reviews
Watch as our favorite thickskulled pretty boy is abused... prettily!... by our favorite evil Phantom. And learn why I really, really, REALLY ought to go to bed earlier... Read it! Review it! Don't ask why!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,120 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/25/2006 - Raoul, Erik - Complete
They Play Soccer in Middle Earth, Too! reviews
Rohan vs. Moria football match. Who will proceed towards the Arda Cup semifinals? Who will not survive the tournament? Will weapons be disallowed from the field? Does the goal count if your horse kicks it in? ...pretty please review
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,027 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/11/2006 - Published: 6/29/2006 - Complete
Naruto for Dummies reviews
What happens when someone who knows little to nothing about Naruto writes a Naruto fic? Read and find out!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 526 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/27/2006 - Orochimaru, Sasuke U. - Complete