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Joined 06-25-06, id: 1075363, Profile Updated: 09-16-16
Author has written 5 stories for Naruto, and Batman Begins/Dark Knight.


I’m probably overdue for an update here... hello! I am DeGlace. I like unconventional pairings, because they’re fun, and conventional plot devices, because I am lazy. I start stories late and finish them early. I am at my happiest when writing banter and unresolved sexual tension. I write the kinds of stories that I like to read; my fics are romance-driven and have plots only in the most generous sense of the term. I have a, probably unhealthy, fixation for antagonistic relationships that develop into something else.

Some of the stories here are very old and are awaiting revisions to rid them of various manifestations of amateurishness – please consider yourself warned on that front. (There is no great writing, only great rewriting. Wise words.)

Thank you to everyone who likes my work enough to write me a review or PM. I am flattered by the effusive ones and humbled by the rest.

I am on AO3 as DeGlace. Also, in an attempt to be hip and modern, I now have a tumblr: @actuallydeglace. Enjoy my unfiltered insipidity.


This in defence of crackships:

Invent your own mythology or be slave to another man's. - W. Blake

I write on behalf of my colleagues in contumacy, my brothers and sisters in arms, the producers (and protectors) of the cause; the writers of crack. Here is our manifesto.

We refuse to be straight-jacketed by the frivolous constraints of “reason” and “sense”. Logic has no place in our stories or in our heads. We are iconoclasts: we determinedly avoid pairings that are conventional, commonplace or trite. We exult in the new and the bizarre, the eccentric, the grotesque and, yes we admit it, the perverse.

We rejoice when we search for a pairing and there are no results: we take the Road Less Travelled and often the Road Nonexistent and we forge new paths into the wilderness of the improbable and the absurd. (No plotline is too farfetched, no scenario too forced, no back-story too implausible for us, trailblazers in irrationality.)

We are the pioneers: we take the cracky first step. We open the door. Come back tomorrow, there will be twenty more.

We are also the cursed. We are plagued with reviews like “does she even know he exists?” and “they haven’t met” and “but he died” and “DISGUSTING,” and the worst part is they are usually right. We admit that the truth hurts. (But occasionally we get some love and when we do we know that one more innocent has succumbed and so we type on.)

We will have paired every single female with every single male before this day is through, and just when you think it can’t get any worse we will pair every male with every male and every female with every female and we will make love triangles and then we will make love quadrangles and love parallelograms and love hexagons. (Then we will toss in a few inanimate objects and house pets to keep things fresh.)

No character is safe. We revive the dead. We straighten the gays and bend the straights, age the young and rejuvenate the aged, turn males into females and females into males. We control time and we control physics and we studiously disregard temporal coherence and continuity. Chronology is malleable in our hands and canon timelines need not apply. Alternative universes are at our beck and call and we are not afraid to use them.

We challenge you to read us.

We might make you cry.

We might make you like it.

We are the writers of crack.

(We also spontaneously write grandiose declarations in our profiles when we were supposed to be fixing a typo and enjoy the use of pluralis majestatis in all its schizophrenic radiance.)

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A Girl and a Mountain by Of Healing Love reviews
Mulan wasn't supposed to be discovered as a woman in the Imperial Army. Her life wasn't supposed to be spared and she wasn't supposed to go home dishonored. Shan Yu wasn't supposed to survive the avalanche and he wasn't supposed to take over China. Clearly, fate had other plans for the two...and it all revolved around revenge, obsession, a girl and a mountain. Implied rape.
Mulan - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 45,954 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 640 - Updated: 10/23 - Published: 1/28/2014 - Mulan, Shan-Yu
Hope Springs Eternal: A Subterranean Romance by Quantum Witch reviews
(1999) Disney's "Hercules" sequel - In which Hades' kingdom is in danger, an immortal witch wants control, the Fates predict a miracle, and Hades falls flaming-head-over-smoking-heels in love. The usual stuff of myth. [SEE PROFILE PAGE FOR LINK TO ILLUSTRATED VERSION]
Hercules - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 127,299 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 932 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 9/15 - Published: 7/6/2004 - Hades - Complete
Vicissitude of Fate by High Lady Nyx reviews
Victor leaned close, wicked claws penetrated deep into her neck, eyes blazing and fangs on full display on his terrifyingly handsome face. "You. Are. Mine," he snarled, his rumbling voice simmering with warning ... AU. A perfectly ordinary human's life was altered by a chance encounter with one powerful mutant. WARNING: ADULTS ONLY. Victor Creed in his element/OC. COMPLETE.
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: M - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 143,187 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 502 - Follows: 511 - Updated: 11/7/2015 - Published: 7/13/2012 - Sabretooth, OC - Complete
Pretty Girls and Pointy Things by Renaerys reviews
"I could dirty talk you under the table." Suigetsu and Ino. Torture and Interrogation, obviously.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,484 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 29 - Published: 2/5/2014 - [Ino Y., Suigetsu H.] [Sasuke U., Karin U.] - Complete
The exchange by maroucia reviews
In King's Landing, Sansa is about to be part of a well waited exchange. AU, T to begin with, M later.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 98,935 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 8/24/2013 - Published: 9/14/2012 - Sansa S., Sandor C. - Complete
Dawning by deleria reviews
After years of silence the Akatsuki are active again. Her allies uncertain, the Godaime sends two teams - one for a potential offensive strike and another for covert surveillance. Who would have guessed that Shikamaru and Sakura could fake it as newlyweds so well? ShikaSaku with early (one-sided) hints of SasuSaku. COMPLETE.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 102,059 - Reviews: 1093 - Favs: 1,726 - Follows: 1,180 - Updated: 4/9/2013 - Published: 10/15/2004 - [Shikamaru N., Sakura H.] - Complete
Narcotic by Volpone reviews
Taken for pleasure; can become powerfully addictive. Akatsuki. Sakura. Crack.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 33,429 - Reviews: 674 - Favs: 840 - Follows: 603 - Updated: 7/13/2012 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
Dirty Triptych by Senri reviews
Kakuzu/Yugito/Hidan. A long gallows walk, a prodigal son, a woman in a dark corner. Persimmons, peaches, tangerines. Gods move in strange ways. Thank you my lovely reviewers for reminding me to update before 3 years passed again!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,261 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Yugito N., Hidan - Complete
The Professor's Discretion by Twelve Years in Azkaban reviews
The only thing keeping Hermione out of trouble and Harry Potter alive is... the Professor's Discretion. AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 22 - Words: 139,229 - Reviews: 895 - Favs: 916 - Follows: 548 - Updated: 9/30/2011 - Published: 10/14/2009 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Caught You on the Flip Side by firefly reviews
I knew you once, a long time ago. You were born in a nebula, and I was born in a star, and the spark of our union was enough to ignite a thousand Big Bangs. And though I don't remember you, I've never stopped searching. Deidara/Ino. AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 43,430 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 246 - Updated: 1/24/2011 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Ino Y., Deidara
The Paladin Protocol by SpaceAnJL reviews
*Complete* Every journey has to start somewhere. This one began when Penny found an alternative to paintball, and Sheldon dusted off an old skill.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 91,749 - Reviews: 1585 - Favs: 3,097 - Follows: 690 - Updated: 7/24/2010 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
The Middle Ground by SkItZoFrEaK reviews
If she lets him get too far away, she'll lose him. If he lets her in too close, he'll be skewered. Their best bet is somewhere in the middle ground. Shino. Tenten. Rated for violence and some language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 112,034 - Reviews: 719 - Favs: 795 - Follows: 307 - Updated: 5/29/2010 - Published: 10/31/2008 - Shino A., Tenten - Complete
Gypsy Eye, Wolf Eye by 2AddersFanged reviews
Claude Frollo abducts Esmeralda, and a power struggle ensues. Based loosely upon Victor Hugo’s characters from his novel Notre Dame de Paris.
Hunchback of Notre Dame - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,258 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 6/12/2006
Quotidian by firefly reviews
When she accepted the graveyard shift of border patrol, Temari expected to find nothing but snakes and scorpions nestled between the dunes of dark sand. Amongst them, the last thing she expected to find was a missing nin out for a midnight prayer.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 75,748 - Reviews: 874 - Favs: 1,062 - Follows: 358 - Updated: 5/22/2008 - Published: 1/8/2007 - Temari, Hidan - Complete
Persephone and Hades by Kali-Red reviews
Jack would be better off if she were still dead, but Lord Marshal Riddick has other plans for her. Sequel to COR. This is a raw, disturbing story, rated M for violence, sexual content, bad language, and a worse attitude.
Pitch Black / Riddick - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,365 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 5/20/2008 - Published: 4/30/2008 - Complete
Face Value by firefly reviews
In the three days she has remaining to dispose of her target, Temari has to make a choice: stick to protocol and accomplish the mission, or sate her fascination with a certain missing Falls nin. Kakuzu x Temari.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,952 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 424 - Follows: 42 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Temari, Kakuzu - Complete
Wretched by kc-archive reviews
Pyramid Head & Maria. Understanding his rather disabling predicament was one thing, but thinking that he was now under her jurisdiction was another entirely. She duly deserved to be eaten alive for it.
Silent Hill - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,370 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 3/25/2007 - Published: 3/6/2007 - Pyramid Head, Maria - Complete
On Electric Girls, And Worn Down Toys by Muffytaj reviews
[Jafar x Jasmine] In the royal court power games are nothing new, but Jafar finds an edge to Jasmine that is both annoying, and alluring.
Aladdin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 11 - Published: 5/11/2006 - Complete
Weapons Cast Away by Gigabomb reviews
Kimimaro x Tenten, canon. On a training journey following the finals of the Chuunin Exams, Tenten comes upon a boy in a field, and in the process gains an unexpected training partner.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,472 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/12/2006 - Kimimaro K., Tenten - Complete
Little Green Leaf by Ninja Shen reviews
...Fine. If you wanna die so bad, it's your call. But you gotta prove to me you're worth the effort. I'll let you fight my sister... but first, you gotta get through ME. Kankuro x Tenten [finished]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 36,591 - Reviews: 672 - Favs: 978 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 10/29/2005 - Published: 11/10/2004 - Kankuro, Tenten - Complete
For You by SkItZoFrEaK reviews
“It’s alright,” Rock Lee soothed, though he did not let go of her wrists and his leg stayed firmly locked around her knees. “I’m here for you now,” he murmured. Lee. Sakura. Final chapter. Enter Gai
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,339 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 4/5/2005 - Published: 3/26/2005 - Sakura H., Lee R.
Meeting Of The Minds by Helga Von Nutwimple reviews
With the Order's safety hanging on the whim of a lovesick Ron, Snape calls his bluff... and Hermione calls his. Loosely based on the WIKTT Marriage Law Challenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 31,389 - Reviews: 1194 - Favs: 1,199 - Follows: 1,001 - Updated: 2/21/2005 - Published: 6/5/2004 - Severus S., Hermione G.
A Thousand Cups of Wine by Sunfreak reviews
Freaks and geeks and the sennin, but before they really were. It's called "friendship," guys, and even they had it.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 723 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/27/2004
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Marrow reviews
Kimimaro x Sakura. Because some things you feel in your bones.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 90,839 - Reviews: 1725 - Favs: 1,821 - Follows: 1,577 - Updated: 7/16 - Published: 7/16/2006 - [Kimimaro K., Sakura H.]
Something of unearthly love reviews
Ino finds a head. The head won't shut up. Then she finds the rest of him. Hidan x Ino.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 53,021 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 339 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 4/2 - Published: 2/12 - [Hidan, Ino Y.] - Complete
Uneasy coexistence reviews
One grinning shark–man. One pink–haired medic. Ankles. Teeth. Kisame x Sakura. Yes, you read that right.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 70,111 - Reviews: 1068 - Favs: 1,406 - Follows: 1,036 - Updated: 12/23/2015 - Published: 7/9/2006 - [Kisame H., Sakura H.] - Complete
Klepto reviews
He is domineering, brutal, and used to getting his way. She is cool, detached, and completely irreverent. Unsurprisingly, they don't really get along. Bane x Selina Kyle.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 76,893 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 22 - Published: 9/26/2015 - [Selina K./Catwoman, Bane] - Complete
Via Media reviews
"I bet you're a vegetarian," said Temari, and she plucked at a nearby plant. "Here's a leaf for you, try not to choke." It all went downhill from there... One road. Two bunkhouses. Three weeks of border patrol. Neji x Temari.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,538 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 3/27/2008 - [Neji H., Temari] - Complete
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