the-hippie-whittlers
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Joined 07-04-06, id: 1081715, Profile Updated: 07-02-14
Author has written 18 stories for Naruto, SpongeBob SquarePants, Ironman, Hellsing, Misc. Cartoons, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Metalocalypse, Web Shows, Friday the 13th, and True Blood.

HELLO.

I'm fixing this fucking profile. It was a clusterfuck.

So essentially this is where a bunch of people post stories they're too ashamed/proudly ashamed of to post anywhere else.

We're probably not going to finish half of this stuff and a lot of it is writing we want to save only as proof that it exists.

have a nice day.

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Draculin games by Dynamosaurus Imperiosis Rex reviews
Post manga. Years after her masters return, Seras becomes annoyed with his sudden interest in peeping on her at private moments. She sets out with plans to get some payback but it turns out she has been set up and the tables have turned in her masters favour as the two set out on vampire sexual warefare. BE WARNED OF HARD SMUTT/SEX SLIGHTLY ON PARL WITH PRINCESS DESTINY'S FICS!
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,844 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 12/7/2014 - Published: 2/14/2013 - Alucard, Seras
One Sunny Day by KemicalRomantik reviews
When Seras and Pip walk home from the convenience store. Pip is his usual amorous self, but Alucard sees. Seras has gotten herself into a lot of trouble with her master. A/S Translation: Just a Bunch of sexy smut ;]
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,670 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 2/11/2014 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Alucard, Pip, Seras - Complete
Submit to me by He will knock four times reviews
Forced to free Seras by uncontrollable conditions with plans to find her and claim her once Integra's dead. 41 years later Alucard stumbles upon something that piques his interest. Alucard decides to find the interesting thing. He doesn't know its Seras. Hiatus.
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 124,128 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 399 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 2/26/2012 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Alucard, Seras
The House That Fear Built by sarsaparillia reviews
In a world where someone else found the twins that snowy night, Rin leads a demon army. — Rin/Shiemi.
Blue Exorcist/青の祓魔師 - Rated: M - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 15 - Words: 39,970 - Reviews: 448 - Favs: 376 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 2/16/2012 - Published: 10/4/2011 - Rin O., Shiemi M. - Complete
Angels Among Demons by Eternal Clarity reviews
Sir Integra has finally died and Alucard thinks it is finally time to return home. And with returning also means establishing who's boss. S/A
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 29,359 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 11/1/2011 - Published: 7/23/2011 - Seras, Alucard
Blood Lust by redseeker reviews
Alucard and Seras, alone in the Hellsing dungeons with only each other and their demons for company. PWP, lots of blood and fluids.
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,047 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 16 - Published: 9/23/2011 - Seras, Alucard - Complete
Confusion over Tea and Ice by Adelle-chan reviews
Hinata confessed to Naruto indirectly, using a genin as a substitute. And before she could explain that he is the one, Tsunade appeared and ruined the scene. The problem: Naruto hired his best ninjas to hunt the genin down. NaruHina Complete
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 51,172 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 7/26/2011 - Published: 12/14/2005 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Hips Don't Lie by hyesung79 reviews
Sasuke has a day off and he decides to check his email.. and finds a music video... with SAKURA in it? SasuSaku songfic
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,701 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 12/14/2010 - Published: 5/10/2006 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
All that really matters by KawaiiKittyChan reviews
It would have been perfect, I had her where I wanted. The moment the powers of the family that bound me would wane I would take her, willing or not. That was until she became her heir. Alucard/Seras, Rated M for containing more lemon than lemon iced-tea.
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,340 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Alucard, Seras
Super Eds by Nintendo Nut1 reviews
Every generation, a supernatural force chooses kids all over the world to inherit special powers. They are called the Super Children. And the call is about to be answered by three friends. As if their life wasn't weird enough already. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS, PLEASE STOP ASKING FOR UPDATES, THANK YOU.
Ed, Edd n Eddy - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 17 - Words: 78,945 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 10/20/2009 - Published: 9/15/2007
What is Blessed but Damned by Icecry reviews
“It has been almost eleven years...and he has yet to show himself,but sickly enough, who could blame him...Seras is but a child herself...what he did to Seras was childish as well.Alucard can call himself all sorts of things but father...its unlikely..."
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 13 - Words: 32,965 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Alucard, Seras - Complete
Hold On, Hinata by Sky's Teardrops reviews
When Naruto left Konoha, he left behind a promise to Hinata. Will he be able to keep his promise? NaruHina. Complete!
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,792 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/26/2008 - Published: 5/5/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Iron & Irony by Veldeia reviews
An Iron Man movieverse & House MD crossover. When Tony suspects he's caught a mystery illness, he turns to the best doctor he can find. But can House solve this puzzle? Hurt/comfort/suspense with a good amount of angst and TS/PP. All FINISHED now!
Crossover - Ironman & House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 35,355 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/21/2008 - Published: 5/31/2008 - A. E. Stark/Tony, G. House - Complete
Corners of the Mind by DrkKni reviews
Hinata does something horrible and ends up in he Konoha mental hospital, where she meets Konoha's most horrible secret.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,395 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 8/2/2007 - Published: 8/29/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
My Curse, My Blessing by Kalluwen reviews
Naruto and Hinata have been happily going out for a year. But on the night of his nineteenth birthday he leaves Konoha in search of answers long withheld, and to protect the village from himself. Now he journeys towards an uncertain future.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 27,060 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 5/18/2007 - Published: 5/2/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Shine Your Light by SE Uchiha reviews
NaruHina Naruto returns from training and runs across the girl from the waterfall, and she's singing. Will he find out her true identity? Why is she singing? oneshot songfic
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,511 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/3/2007 - Hinata H., Naruto U. - Complete
Windows of the soul by raging hobo reviews
Being Naruto isn't easy, but he never gives up. Someone admires that in him. Someone he loves dearly. Experience the joy, the sadness, the triumph, and the overwhelming love that is Naruto's life. NaruHina
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 69 - Words: 142,559 - Reviews: 1113 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 9/4/2006 - Published: 7/12/2005
Eighteen by DarkLordTaker reviews
Hiashi needs to find a suitable husband for Hinata. Rating PG13 for safety. NaruHina
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,713 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 11/27/2005 - Published: 2/19/2005 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
MY Daddy by 716799 reviews
[Oneshot, genfic] The toddlers of Konoha argue over whose daddy is truly the best. Features Uchiha Kisho, Uzumaki Arashi, Hyuuga Sasame, and Nara Shikatori.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,334 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 505 - Follows: 61 - Published: 9/5/2005 - Complete
Rain by Aikuchi Shikaku reviews
Summary: After training for three years Naruto goes back to Konoha in secret to surprise his friends and a certain kunoichi in his graduating class that he has now grown to love...or is it too late? [From Naruto's Point of View, PG13 just to be safe.]
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,368 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/14/2005 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
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WELCOME TO HELL TEMPES, CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER? reviews
Or should it be BON SING...? Crossover fic. HellsingxTrueBlood. yes. I went there. Set after the end of the Hellsing organization, many rules have been bent or broken to bring you a glimpse of when two vampire worlds meet. AxS
Crossover - Hellsing & True Blood - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,849 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 5/30/2014 - Published: 11/18/2009 - Seras, Sookie S.
When Columnists Finally Crack reviews
This is based on the columnists Michael Swaim and Dan O'Brien on the Cracked website. More accurately, it's based on the personalities cultivated by each as portrayed through their articles, web series, and most prominently the series Agents of Cracked.
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,446 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/23/2010 - Complete
I Ain't the Weatherman reviews
Another delightful sin again humanity by Vanessa. Uploaded here without her knowledge by Veronica. :ID Enjoy!
Metalocalypse - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 503 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Dr. Rockzo - Complete
Someday reviews
Pepsquee drabble. Short but sweet.
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 330 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Complete
What's your pleasure, sir? reviews
Schro has been begging the Captain to take him to the edge of pain and pleasure. What happens when the Captain finally gives into him? PWP that includes kinks that I, Veronica, don't think are in enough fics.
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,017 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Hans G., Schrodinger - Complete
A Dream Come True reviews
What happens when Freddy and Jason chance to meet one dark night? Blood shead, passion, or both? Written as a special request from Vanessa.
Crossover - A Nightmare on Elm Street & Friday the 13th - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,078 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Complete
What Hath God Wrought? A Xander x Captain fic reviews
What happens when Xander from Drawn Together and Hans from Hellsing meet one night in a club? Will there be love? Blood? Spanking? Will the ending make no logical sense? There's only one way to find out. BTW this is by Veronica.
Crossover - Misc. Cartoons & Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,305 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Hans G. - Complete
Dora the Explore Her reviews
Another classical, joyous story by Vanessa. The enchanting story of Dora and her love slave boots. The marvelous f-fest of the season... but no seriously... it's raped in da caboodle... LITERALLY! Terribly written... VERY terribly written.
Misc. Cartoons - Rated: M - English - Romance/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 869 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/4/2009 - Complete
Eternity is a Very Long Time, Isn't it? reviews
Just a whole bunch of little AlucardxSeras one-shots. Mostly fluffy type things, from inconsistent scenarios in my head. but the rating might go up. maybe.
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,779 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Alucard, Seras
Evil With a Capital E! reviews
Pepper fumes at the asinine comments of those little pricks on E! news.... They were the bane of her existence.
Ironman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,502 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/2/2008 - V. Potts/Pepper, A. E. Stark/Tony - Complete
Hot Pockets reviews
A lonely fangirl ghost visits Sasuke while he sleeps in his comfy bed... NOT LEMON! Based on a youtube video...go check it out.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 971 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Sasuke U. - Complete
ONE NIGHT IN SPONGE reviews
Just don't read it. NOT WRITTEN BY ME! written by Vanessa. IT quintuple-X rated spongebob! DXDX
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 579 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Complete
SIGH reviews
NaruHina-With Sasuke back and the destruction of Akatsuki imminent, the lives of Konoha are simple again. But for one increasingly distant Uzumaki Naruto, his perfect bachelor life is about to be ruined in one fell swoop. Hilatrities ensue...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,684 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 5/11/2008 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Hinata H., Naruto U.
Shenanigans reviews
Naruhina Sasusaku Next generation fic. Rokudaime Naruto is hiding something about his daughter from the whole village. But before he can confess, something very strange happens...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,003 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/7/2008 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Hinata H., Naruto U.
Looking Glass reviews
AU Rating may change. Sasusaku Naruhina When Sakura discovers what she really is, and the reasons for her haunting childhood, An adventure begins that will bring hearts closer, and outcasts together. hilarities ensue....eventually
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 196 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/30/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Muffin reviews
Sakura dreams of Sasuke's return, only to find that her imagination is far more random than she thought...or is it?
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 291 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/13/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Human reviews
Sasuke and Sakura are finally together, and Naruto and Hinata are on their way there. But when Sasuke and Sakura's relationship takes a turn, Naruto is pulled in and Hinata begins to fade. NaruHina SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,669 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/12/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
One Night in Suna reviews
Total crack inspired by my vacation. It seems as though Gaara has found a rather annoying hobby... I really wasn't thinking when I wrote this.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,499 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/14/2007 - Published: 7/7/2006 - Gaara - Complete