Author has written 1 story for Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
Dragon Age Origins
"Shale: I have noticed that the Painted Elf seeks the attention of the Gray Warden.
Zevran: He certainly does.
Shale: I watched many such couplings during the time I spent immobile…or should say I was forced to watch. You do know this usually ends in reproduction. I’ve seen it many times indeed. Zevran: Oh? That is not such a terrible thought. Creating a new life can be a great deal of fun.
Shale: So you say. I have no idea how a golem is created. But I doubt I shall be creating one any time soon.
Zevran: Just as well I imagine. Any lover of yours would no doubt be quickly reduced to a puddle of bruses.
Shale: So you see me winning the affection of another golem do you? Most golems are slaves to whoever holds their control rod.
Zevran: Funny it works exactly the same way for us as well. "
Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. "Just do what I did, Harry!"
"What, drop my wand?"
"Don't be a prat, Neville, that's illegal," said George. "They wouldn't use the Cruciatus Curse on the champions. I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry."
One of them was a very old wizard who was wearing a long flowery nightgown. The other was clearly a Ministry wizard; he was holding out a pair of pinstriped trousers and almost crying with exasperation.
"How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding. "The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley. Everyone looked up at him. "Why?" said Percy curiously. "It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-" "-for Humongous Bighead," said Fred.
"Mad-Eye Moody?" said George thoughtfully, spreading marmalade on his toast. "Isn't he that nutter"
"I'll look for him later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something...Of course, he might have crawled up into the airing cupboard and died...But I mustn't get my hopes up..." –Sirius
'This is almost as bad as Snape tossing me at Ginny after forcing that potion down my throat..."Relieve some stress Potter!"...ha!' -Emma Lipardi, What is Right
"Fred! George! Mind your manners!" Mrs. Weasley scolded. "You said you'd be on your best behavior if we let you come this time!"
Harry chuckled. "Actually, I believe that's 'payback's a bitch', but it certainly applies to fate as well." He paused to put the pensieve away in a locked cabinet with a wave of his hand before speaking again. "No." he said thoughtfully. "I'd have to say Fate is a big guy in leather on a Harley fresh out of prison and he wants me as his bitch."
"Oh, what a pleasant thought." Lucius quipped. "Then we can send Fate back to prison for pedophilia and make our own destiny."
Harry's nose crinkled with displeasure. "That's right. I'd forgotten I'm only ten...well, at the end of this month anyway." -The Curse of Fate
"They wanted to teach me respect," Lucius replied easily, stowing his wand away. "Iwanted to see if the Cruciatus worked as well on a vampire as it does on humans. I figured one of us should get what we desired."-The Curse of Fate
"If the boy wants to play lord, let him." he continued, not taking his eyes off the headmaster. "He'll learn soon enough that no mere child can stand against the Dark Lord. If he survives, he'll come crawling back on hands and knees, begging you to protect him. Until then, leave him alone." When Dumbledore started to protest, he snapped, "If you want him here so badly, send an owl. Request a meeting. Stop sneaking around his home in the dead of night trying to kidnap the boy like some common muggle criminal!"
Dumbledore paused. "Why didn't I think of that?" he wondered aloud, considering the possibility that the boy would agree should he simply ask to meet with him.
Severus threw up his hands in a rare display of aggravation. "Idiot," he hissed disdainfully, turning on his heel and storming out of the room.-The Curse of Fate
"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and the purpose of your visit," the cheery witch's voice announced to the six wizards tightly packed into the red telephone box.
"Death Eaters," Lucius said with a hint of amusement. "We're here to kill you." Dolohov had the audacity to smack him on the arm. The amusement in his voice vanished with a shocked exclamation of, "Ow! What was that for, you idiot?"
"They're never gonna let us in now!" the man replied as if it were obvious.
"O' ye of little faith," Lucius smirked at him. "I think I know the Ministry a bit better than you."
Sure enough, to the surprise of everyone except Lucius, the voice thanked them, wished them a good day and a silver badge dropped down. Dolohov picked it up in wonder and read it aloud. "Death Eaters. Reason for visit: Homicide." He blinked at Lucius from behind his mask. "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle."
Outside, twelve other black cloaked individuals waited their turn. As the other six started the decent into the Ministry, one turned to another.
"Hey, Rody," he asked his brother with a grin. "How many Death Eaters can you fit into a phone box?"-The Curse of Fate
A small pirate ship flew threw the air like it's larger counterpart rode the waves. A cry that sounded incredibly like "Land ho!" came from the toy pirate in the crow's nest. The ship pulled alongside Alastor Moody and the crew began to "board" his head. For every handful he knocked off, another would rush to avenge their fallen shipmates.-The Curse of Fate
Batman/The Dark Knight
“If you make yourself more than just a man… if you devote yourself to an ideal… if they can’t stop you… then you become something else entirely… A legend…”-Ras Al Goul
"Why so serious?" -Joker
"Wanna know how I got these scars?" -Joker
"I like this job! I like it!" -Joker
"Madness is like gravity...all it takes is a little push." -Joker
"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villan." -Harvy Dent
"Let me get this straight. You think that your emloyer, one of the wealthiest men in the world, seceretly spends his knights beating criminals to a pulp. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck." -Lucius Fox
Pirates of the Caribbean
"Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid." -Jack Sparrow
"For certan you have to be lost to find the places can't be found. Else ways everyone would know where it was."-Barbossa
"For what we want most there's a cost must be paied in the end."-Tia Dalma
"Dead men tell no tales."
"Dying is a day worth living for!"-Barbossa
"We are giong to have one interesting landing."
"You know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gives other people killed."-Zoe
"It sure would be nice if we had some granades."-Jayne
"If you can't do something smart. Do something right."-Jayne
"Do you know what your sin is?"-Operative
"Is this your happy face?"
"A round table? What sort of evil is this?!"
"It's said that the West is built on legends. And that legends are a way of understanding things greater than ourselves. Forces that shape our lives. Events that defy explanation. Individuals whose lives soar or fall to the earth. This is how legends are born." -Caretaker aka Carter Slade
Not to be said around Undead:
1) Need a hand?
2) That is just jaw dropping!
3) Something evil is a foot!
4) Keep a stiff upper lip!
5) Use a little elbow grease!
6) …and that’s how you get a-head.
7) That guy is a spineless coward!
Warnings: Mentions of Sex (but honestly what doesn’t) - pitaC89
"R.A.P = retards attempting poetry." -a friend of mine
"Real courage and bravery is not, as most people think, a lack of fear. . . . Courage is about being able to feel that fear and then going ahead and doing what you believe is right anyways, even if you are afraid." -Rudi Guilani
"After all this schooling, you should know how to cook. So cook away and give us the good stuff for a change. Please. We need it." -Billy Joel
"Make a list of all the people who don't believe in you. . . . Call them up tonight, and tell them to go to hell! And then gather around you the people who do believe in you . . . and then move on into the future." -Ray Bradbury
“Why do you weep for the dead? I rejoice, for they have died for me. You must remember Gabriel, that there is purity in all things. Even hatred.” -Lucifer
"Every light casts a shadow. So does the dweomer. Some men choose to stand in the light; others, in the darkness. Be ye always aware that where you stand is a matter of choice, and let not the shadow creep over you unawares." - The Secret Book of Cadwallon the Druid
"Away and mock the time with fairest show, False fast must hide, what the false heart doth know" ~ Macbeth in 'Macbeth' by 'William Shakespeare'
'Never explain- your friends do not need it and your enemies will never believe it anyway.' Elbert Hubbard
'History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.' Abba Eban
“Only the dead have seen the end of war.” – Plato
“We do not die because we have to die; we die because one day, and not so long ago, our consciousness was forced to deem it necessary.” -- Antonin Artaud
“I don’t get why you go on about clothes. I mean, you just wear them to cover your naked body so you don’t get arrested, right? So what’s all the fuss?” -SueManroe
"A government will only truly listen to two things. Gold and Blood. If you can't pay them off the only remaining option is a bloody war." -Me
"Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration."
-- Kahlil Gibran, “Children of Gods, Scions of Apes”
"Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run like hell. He hates that!" ~ Anonymous
“The problem with political jokes is they get elected.” -Henry Cate
"Battles should be won with swords and spears, not rice and salt."-Kenshin Usegi
"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." -Anonymous
"Common sense is not so common." -Voltaire
‘Kill one man and you are a murderer, kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill all and you are a God.’ By Jean Rostand (1894-1977)
"In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it it." Generalfeldmarschall Erwin Rommel
"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice." - Benedict Spinoza
"In the time of war the devil makes more room in hell." - German Proverb
"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, it you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius
"A man's vanity tells him what is honour; a man's conscience what is justice." - Walter Savage Landor
"Nothing sways the stupid more than arguments they can't understand." Cardinal de Retz
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
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