Sexy Utensils
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Joined 07-12-06, id: 1088842
Author has written 1 story for Anime X-overs.

Hello there! This is a joint account! Fifer will be in bold

Whom, you ask?

It's simple; Master Fifer and SexySpoonsWillRuleUsAll.

What do we write?

Well, Fifer (or Sexy Forks) specialises in Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. SexySpoons, on the other hand, is an anime and yaoi junkie who needs a life.

What does that equal?

Multiple crossovers.

Our first fic will be a multi-crossover story featuring SexySpoons wearing her combat boots to boots some head, a gender confused anorexic palm-tree known as Envy and a razor. No, that isn't the sound of an emo, it's the sound of Harry Potter getting his head shaved. Honestly, he needed it...

The crossovers:

Harry Potter, Fullmetal Alchemist, Lord of the Rings, Pokemon, Naruto - whatever the hell we feel like.


Wherever the hell we want. Generally Hogwarts.

DADA teacher:

SexySpoons and Fifer take it in turns. However, punishment is SexySpoon's job. She boots head. You have been warned...

Here is a list of people in our opinion that should:

a) get their head shaved

b) retire and become a useless piece of extra space

c) do the chicken dance and look like a complete idiot in front of friends and/or family

d) do the world a favor and DIE

~Daniel Radcliffe, we like to call him Mullet Man (i'm very sorry, Meggie-Moo, he's just not my cup of tea...) And will probably write a short comic book like story about his adventures in the future

~Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Carribean who is just there for cheap drama

~Rogue from X-Men please see Elizabeth Swann

~Kitty from X-Men please see Rogue where it will tell you to please see Elizabeth


~Ron Weasley from Harry Potter who was just a waste pf air the moment he was born

~I believe Angelina Jolie, but I'll have to consolt with SS on that... from... wherever she's from...

~Viggo Mortenson from various roles i.e. main targets: ARAGORN (gag)

~Heath Ledger NOT Jake Gyllenhaal... (drooling for two)

~Shannon from LOST please see Kitty, then see Rogue, then see Elizabeth (but she's snottier)

~Kate from LOST please see Shannon, then see Kitty, then see Rogue, then see Elizabeth

And so far that is all., but don't worry, we'll keep you posted on who we hate and think should ~ please see a-d =) Have a terrific day.


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Akito's Baby Blues by Master Fifer reviews
Uncle Shigure with a new name! Shigure's out leaving Akito to care for the kids! What will happen?
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 15,795 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 10/7/2007 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Shigure S.
And the Lord Said Suckers! by Master Fifer reviews
The Lord of the Rings cast gets sucked into the Naruto world? Somewhat better summary inside. I'm too evil...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,226 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/30/2006
Leave The Singing To Me! by Master Fifer reviews
Just some funny songs I was thinking of for some of the FMA characters. Enjoy. Includes Dante's Theme, the Gluttony Song Song, and more!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,236 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/1/2006 - Published: 8/17/2006
The Cornocopia of files of the Marauders by Master Fifer reviews
BIG words invade Hogwarts and the Marauders! Prongs and Padfoot decide to bother Moony with some BIG surprises. Will it get out of hand?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,260 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/3/2006 - Published: 2/1/2006
Frozen Fire presents: Don't Pet the Kitty by Master Fifer reviews
Just a wacky thing my friend Liger Zero nightmare and I thought up. Bobby and Johnny express their annoyance to Kitty in rather unusual ways... Kitty lovers are warned.
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,750 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/26/2006 - Published: 6/25/2006 - Iceman, Pyro
Unabridged Elves by Master Fifer reviews
The BIG word series. Sequals to Dysmenorrhea and Kakapo!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,581 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 6/4/2006 - Published: 1/29/2006
Kakapo! by Master Fifer reviews
Since y'all loved Dysmenorrhea, here's a second one!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 938 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/13/2006 - Published: 1/28/2006
Dysmenorrhea by Master Fifer reviews
What happens when you think of big words...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 262 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/7/2006 - Elrohir, Arwen U. - Complete
Another Gay Magical British Castle reviews
The Utensils are coming to Hogwarts followed [more like dragged], by most of the cast of Full Metal Alchemist, Naruto and Gravitaion? And these girls are... YAOI FANGIRLS! 'cept they take Yaoi to the extreme...
Anime X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,532 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/25/2007 - Published: 8/31/2006